I can admit I was wrong

I understand that online makes it easy for timewasters and those just playing games, but there has to at least some real people online.
I can see dealing with 10 fakes than you find one real one. But it is close to zero real people online.
All I am saying is, I understand why in person is 10 times easier than online, I don't understand why online is 1,000 times harder than in person.
I just find it hard to belive that 90% of people online are not real.

P & W said it well.

There is no way to tell, but it wouldn't surprise me if less than 10% of all people online even meet 1 LS person/couple a month, on average. When you factor in people's preferences, lack of online interaction leading to an actual meeting isn't that surprising.

On the other hand, sometimes online contacts work out better than expected. I've had about a year where my online contacts were as dry as Madonna's cooch in the middle of a Death Valley summer (the previous 2 years under COVID doesn't count), and all of a sudden I've had four couples in three days who are talking about wanting to meet, and with one of them we have a date set up.

Patience is a virtue. Although, virtue and the Lifestyle probably don't go together. :)

"I can't figure out why online is so different from in person."

Because at a party or event almost everyone is there to meet and potentially play with others.

Online there are many more motivating factors - and not all of them are related to swinging. Plus it's really easy to pretend about who you are online.

They are really two different worlds.

I can't figure out why online is so different from in person.
Maybe all the fakes scared the real people away.
Online, I couldn't even get a " fuck off creep".
And online they so picky and confrontational. I just looked at someone's profile that had a list of things that they will not accept in a play partner. The list was EVERYTHING the Republican party stands for.
First, it would be easier to just say, no Republicans. Second, how can you go through life only talking to people who only think and talk and act like you?
At the party I went to, nobody talked about politics.

Glad it worked out. We left an area full of friends and a very active lifestyle with regular clubs to go to. Unfortunately, our move sacrificed that benefit. Although we still communicate with the friends and get together when we visit, we realized that this site, and some others are nothing more than fake and flakes with the proverbial pic collector. Those that do reach out want to have marathon message exchanges. Others don’t look like their pic at all and then there’s the class of husband that is disguising the whole relationship. The parties and clubs is where you are going to succeed. If not then, down the road.

Online is just bizarro world. It's hard to put my finger on it but it tends to make people generally both more hyperselective and hypercritical.

We have pretty much ruled out online approaches entirely. It's just not worth the hassle, and lack of enjoyment. It's not just the swinging community either. Vanilla dating online is mostly useless.

I have a buddy, who is conventionally attractive by any objective metric. He is also, very sociable and solid middle class. The guy couldn't get any traction on dating apps, and it was as baffling to him as everyone who knew him. He started just going to social gatherings and groups instead, and landed a girlfriend almost immediately.

Anyway, glad you finally just went to something

Glad things worked out finally. Only other thing, which I still forget to do at times, is to try to get contact info for people interested in you. If they're on SLS, you could just ask and write down their SLS profile name. They will likely respond to you differently now that they have met you in person.

Online can eventually work for those of us that cannot get out much but it's frustrating at best and never quick or easy. ;-)

Glad you had a good time and hope you made some good connections that now have you plugged in to the local swinging network.

Have fun and stay safe!

Everybody here kept telling me to just shut up and go to a party/club and talk to people.
Don't waste your time searching online profiles.
But I wouldn't listen.
I finally took your advice and went to, I'm not sure if it considered a club or a house party. Private club in a house, maybe?
Anyway, it was a swinger party that you had to ask to be invited to. I got invited and I was shocked to see they are nothing like the online profiles I read. They are all normal. Just average people looking for average people. There were people who were younger and in better shape than me and there were people older and in worse shape than me.
The regulars accepted me. Well, at least they talked to me. I wasn't expecting a porn movie where every women wanted me. But we did socialize.
Didn't get a threesome, but I did get a blowjob from a woman who was probably half my age, while her husband , and several others, watched. And I didn't even have to work for it. She approached me. Apparently, he doesn't like watching her blow guys in private. Whatever, I didn't ask. She offered and I would have agreed to any conditions.
I will stop posting annoying questions now and just go to parties/clubs