Age preferences

Calcanfun - Wow, agree 100% with your points! We too have thought long and hard about our profile. Sure, it's a bit longer than most but once you've read it you should know 90% of what you need to decide to contact us. For us it goes to the engagement factor. If you don't want to engage at a depth higher than he has a cock and she has a pussy...we are probably not a good match. It's all about the initial engagement and to your point, a hey IM doesn't cut it.

Yes age is but a number but it's also how you carry yourselves. If we had a wee bit of criticism for those in our age group? Update the darn photo's. Nothing worse than enjoying a profile and just knowing those pictures are from 10 years ago. :(

For us, it boils down to two things.

• Have you actually read the profile? We have a detailed profile that we spent quite a bit of effort on for a reason. Not much is left to the imagination, to your benefit. So many (especially single males) reach out without reading it and making at least a somewhat informed decision whether or not they stand a snowball's chance against our interests.

• While we feel age is just a number, and looks are important, what's your intro game like? Sick and tired of the "Hey" intros. We rarely bite on those with the youngest, hottest of profiles. Point being, I think many would agree that good communication and a show of intelligence and personality go a LONG way.

There are two situations for this, both are entirely mental.

For whatever reason, when writing a profile which forces you to think about the question, people come up with an age range in their mind for reasons of their own. Everyone does it, including me. So now we're ONLINE, and the age people put on their profile affects the choices of the people who see it. No matter what the pictures look like, no matter what they say about themselves in the profile text, that number will often weigh heavily on the yes or no of the viewer, based on the arbitrary judgement call they made when forced to answer the question about their age range. And all ya'll know how I am about judgement, it's not a bad thing.

There's also a difference in mindset between real life and the internet. When people look at other people on the internet, they are looking for a reason to say no. Face to face, they are looking for a reason to say yes. It's a human nature thing. I don't know why it's that way, but I've observed it over and over.

When you go to a club, meet and greet, house party, or hotel party, nobody is thinking about the AGE NUMBER. It's even considered rude to ask an age in social etiquette. So at a swinger event, the age number doesn't matter, there's a real person standing in front of you, and you are either attracted to them or not, based entirely on their appearance, mannerisms, and personality.

So if you're a person who is routinely rejected online because of your age, get your ass off the couch and go to some swinger events. Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it. And stop pissing and whining about being rejected for your age. It gets old, and the arguments all the old rejectees make are just pathetic.

what if you realy look and behave younger,the men i work with are much younger than me,and they have no trouble keeping up with meJOE

what if you realy look and behave younger,the men i work with are much younger than me,and they have no trouble keeping up with meJOE

It doesn't upset us if we're contacted by someone outside of our age preferences. Done nicely, it's nothing but a harmless question. We have made the rare exception before as long as the variance was reasonable (meaning within a couple of years).

What upsets us is when they try to argue about our response when it's a "no thank you" which either opens the door for us to be mean or block them.

I don't like the idea of reaching out to people when I'm outside of their age range. I figure that they put that age range there for a reason, and it would be rude and disrespectful to ignore it. Doesn't matter if I can pass for younger or not (I'd like to think I can, but it's not as if I'm objective on the matter).

Look at it this way, the age range may have NOTHING to do with how old or young people look. It might be that they're looking for a specific maturity level, or that they have a specific personal aversion to someone younger or older than their range. If they're willing to go outside their stated range, then they'll reach out to the folks that tickle their fancy.

Totally depends on what you look like. Someone told me honestly the other day I look 33 or 34. I'm 46...........................So if someone says they are looking for guys 30-40 I may answer the ad, but if if youre looking for a guy mid 20s to 30 years old I won't waste my time.

We also completely agree to reach out and be upfront about understanding their preferences, but perhaps they may happily consider you an exception! For us, our age range is more a general preference, versus a “hard limit”. And some people look and act much younger than their age, but the opposite can also be true!

Totally agree with catchyname. We would start the message with the obvious, “ we know we’re not in your age range “ . Then just give them a compliment, then the ball is in their court.

If you're respectful, ask away. The worst that can happen is you get blocked. The more likely scenario is you get crickets or a "No Thanks". The upside, however, is absolutely worth the effort...you could get a "What time?"

It's all in how you do it. Be polite, be charming, be funny, be interesting, be genuine, and you might just be gettin' naked!

Wrong , no.

Waste of time , possibly.

I would say up front that I was out of range, but interested. At least that way they know that you bothered to read their profile.
I would also, if possible, say what in their profile leads you to believe that there may be a match.

I tend to agree with letting them reach out if interested. Some people may have reasons that are important to them. if they like my pics and profile they can reach out. Thanks for the feedback!

I don't think it's wrong, actually. Age is just one of the reasons you might not be a match and you don't wonder if you might not work for people who have other, less clearly defined preferences. That said, will you up the percentage of people who either don't answer or do so thanking you for your interest, but...? Yeah, probably.

We agree for what it is worth. We will look at a profile of someone whose range we exceed, if they are interested, they can write us. I assume people put preferences down for a reason.

There's plenty of folks who play outside of their stated age ranges. But my personal opinion is that if someone takes the time to state their age preference, I should respect their choice. If they approach me, that's another matter entirely, then we can work with it.

Is it wrong to reach out if your are older ( within 5 years or less) than someone’s listed desired age range?