We'd like a fresh start

For those still paying attention, wanted to update....we took around 110 pics last night, got feedback on them from different couples, and will be posting them sometime this week. The nudes and face pics turned out pretty nice so those will be in our private and personal galleries for couples we're interested in. However, we have to have my secretary (Friday) or a waitress (next weekend) take a few couples pics we can blur faces on for our public pics because our selfies turned out horrible. So for the general public on SLS it won't look any different until this weekend. But for anyone we reach out to or whoever reaches out to us....we can now show excellent face, topless, and nude shots! So that's progress!

Well, we had our photo night tonight. 100+ pics were taken. Waiting on feedback before organizing and sharing them. Thanks to those who are helping with the feedback!

Ok, so creampies and penetration pics aren't really needed. Focus more on tasteful shots that help to show what we have. Thanks!

I love Velma's nudes and think they're both hot and effective. I've seen others that are nearly as good. Every one of them seems natural, is beautifully lit and concentrates on form over display of the naughty bits.

I've yet to see an action shot that makes me say oh, hey, I wanna fuck them, unless the action is secondary to great smiles on people who are clearly enjoying themselves.

But I may be one of the few hardcore voyeurs uninterested in porn style pictures of strangers, so who knows if I'm a good source on this.

Photo shoot is tomorrow. Unfortunately it'll have to be at night, so no natural light. But when it comes to nude or action shots....any suggestions? As we mentioned before, we'll be using VelmaandShaggy's guide. But there's a real variety of photos we've seen so far. Just looking for everyone's thoughts on what people enjoy seeing and what's useful/helpful.

Thanks!!

That definitely makes sense if it is a big part of your life. If it was more of "I like to shoot on occasion" type of thing then it may make sense to omit it as it isn't likely to come up anyway.

One of the tougher parts of trying to find people online is that people can scrutinize every little detail you post. In person is whole different ballgame because people are out and actively looking and people in general don't want to feel left out at a party.

@Travelers-I agree 100%. Don't change or misrepresent yourself for this hobby.

I just glanced through this thread and noted the comments about removing "shooting" from your profile. Do what you want, but I would not.

We both hunt, and I am a collector and a competitive shooter. Guns are simply a part of our life and we mention it in our profile as one of our interests. If mentioning shooting or guns drives some away, that works just fine for us. Anyone so "flaky" as to be scared of a gun owner is too "flaky" for us to want to be around anyway. Guns are simply a tool, a machine, an inanimate object, and sometimes a work of art.

We are on here for occasional recreational sex and to meet some fun people. If our normal daily life and hobbies somehow scares them them off, then I certainly don't want to be a source of their angst and they can move on to greener pastures. We are who we are for better or worse, and have no plans or desire to be different.

My two cents.

Another update, my wife informed me this morning that we're doing picture night this Saturday!! We'll be using VelmaandShaggy's how-to guide, so fingers crossed they turn out well.

Thanks for the feedback! We'll look to have a picture day/night ASAP. We're also planning on trying a couple clubs in the near future rather than putting all our eggs in the SLS basket.

Definitely, take down those pics, update your stats, and be patient. Even though you are standing in the same corner you have to have a picture of the two of you together. Lose the golf shirt or anything that isn't flattering. Dress well and and get some shots together and then a few separate. Well executed pictures can help out quite a bit.

As suggested, also get out to a club, hotel party, a meet and greet, etc. Find real people and don't get discouraged with online shopping.

Yeah, the pics still need work. Statistically, more men do the interfacing here than women, and men are visual. Velma’s DEBauCH method works well. Try that.

And I agree, the pics don’t look like they line up with the stats. A couples pic would help with that.

Also, don’t stress too much about the number of contacts at this point. You’re active in the forums, so you’re going to naturally accumulate views off that. Those are “lookie-loos” that aren’t part of your target audience.

For those that are in your target audience, the great majority won’t initiate contact for their own reasons, anxiety being a big one. People fear rejection. The best way to avoid rejection is to never make the first move, so they’ll keep looking at you hoping you’ll notice and make the first move yourself.

Let it roll for a month or two, keep tabs on your repeat viewers, and if one of them is interesting to both of you, send them a message. The worst that happens is you get a “No”, but you might just find some new friends too.

I took a look at your profile and pics and they don't match up to me. You definitely don't look 200 lbs to me. I'm wondering if others might be thinking your pics aren't current. They may be, but that's the impression that I got. Best of luck!

We're getting the impression that our pics must be somewhat off-putting because after updating the text, we've had a ton of views and zero messages. Well, plenty of messages but social...not from interested couples. Hopefully once we update those it'll be some level of a game changer.

We updated our profile to include vanilla interests, left out the shooting, added 420 friendly.....and we'll see if that yields anything.

Thanks!!

Oh, sure, at some point the what are you into/what are your boundaries thing has to come up if everyone is leaning hard to yes. Anything else is just asking for trouble. I don't know that I've ever discussed techniques or positions. Like, I must have, but apparently the subject doesn't interest me enough to remember having done so.

Finding that connection with a couple or person is a really special thing. I'm glad it happened for you and hope it will again soon. I hope you also factor in that it's easier finding people in person than on line, because in the former case people are actually looking for a reason to say yes.

As far as the 30,000 foot view, I mean macro discussions of human sexuality. Biology as a determinant, the role of pheromones, the possibility that group sex was a species survival strategy, primogeniture as a way to suppress female sexuality. Stuff like that.

Confused about what you mean by the 30k' level view of human sexuality. Can you please elaborate?

I can see where you're coming from with direct dialogue about sex not being typical once meeting up. It happened to us for a very specific reason/detail about us that I'd share privately (if you're curious) but hesitate to do so publicly. But like I said, that particular couple was so open and wonderful to talk to....we sat and had drinks talking about experiences, mishaps, and just laughing our asses off. Felt a serious connection with them on everything from our kids, medical issues, life in general, random experiences, attraction, etc.

Certainly no problems talking about a ton of different topics. But it would seem that, if there's a good chance of clothes coming off at some point, dialogue would be really healthy to have. What are you into? Techniques/positions/boundaries/etc. are all going to add to the fun.

On a side note, looks like we need to get moving on those vanilla interests and better pics being added....it's been a couple days and not so much as a nibble despite a couple dozen views.

I'm a sex nerd too and am happy to talk about it in personal terms and from the 30,000 foot level view of human sexuality. But it's not a topic I ever think to introduce when meeting anyone, because it's unusual to find someone who can move from the personal to impersonal and back again. Fun when it happens though.

I was thinking about that couple you mentioned, who'd been doing this for decades, and I can see where they're coming from. Sex is why I do this and yet the sexual potential of others is something I discover through conversations that rarely even brush against sex itself. Certainly I'm far more intrigued by profiles where the people seem interesting than those who focus strictly on the how and what of sex, because while I can fuck anyone I have a better time if there's some sort of connection.

Also, I think I got warped early. The first time I went to a club, I had sex with two people. I sort of remember the first person and nothing at all of the second, although I'm pretty it was just one person. What I remember most about that night was listening to the post-coital conversation of the couple in the next cubby. After fucking, somehow they discovered that he was a general contractor and she was going to replace the flooring in her house. I got a case of the giggles and was also charmed by the experience.

So, what I remember most about that night is the relative merits of real wood flooring over manufactured or vinyl.

"Good to have a Plan B ;-)"...we have one of those in our bag as well. ;)

It has gone both ways for us with couples and sex as the conversation too. We have had a LOT of sexual adventures and some enjoy talking about them, but more often than not, it's not the dominant topic. Good to have a Plan B ;-)

Funny you should mention sex not being the dominant topic when getting together. We were talking to a couple who'd been in the lifestyle for 40 years or so and they said the same thing. Kinda surprised us. But they said most couples don't talk about sex a lot before, during, or after. But then when we met up with another couple on our first date, we had a blast talking about sex for hours. Now it could have been that we eventually made it to a strip club along our route as well, but it got the ladies all hot and bothered because they were all over each other while he and I were just enjoying the show!

Due to that advice from the tenured couple, that's why we put about being sex nerds in our profile in the hopes of conveying we are big fans. :)

Again, the purpose is to create potential conversational topics of common interest with others. It helps establish the social connection. When we get together with other couples, sex is usually not the dominant topic of conversation.

Guns can be kind of polarizing is all. Some people enjoy talking about them and others may not even meet you if they know you support firearms in any way. The risks with mentioning may outweigh the gains. Sounds like you're kind of "meh?" on guns in general so probably not worth mentioning.

We didn't think the sharing that we're shooters would be that controversial. But again, we do appreciate the perspectives/cautions being shared. We both could care less if we ever hit the range, hunt, compete, etc. with anyone in the lifestyle. While we haven't seen it mentioned in anyone's profiles, we also weren't caring about it or looking for it. We're scanning to see if we'd have a sexual and social connection with others. So if the listing of shooting is going to be that ostracizing, that's certainly not the desired result.

i don’t ever want someone to edit themselves when writing a profile. If you’re into guns, then you shouldn’t hide it. If you’re so political that you can’t resist bringing up politics during a meet and greet, then it should be in your profile. It’s like beards, or shaved nether regions, or smoking...if it matters to you, or you think it’s a discriminators for others, then it should be out in the open.

I know you're still revising your profile and I'd like to suggest you consider having each of the first three sections roughly the same length as the others. It's partly a visual thing, partly a...an indication that you take a balanced view of others, yourselves and your fantasies. If that doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll try to come up with a more exact explanation.

Also, I'm glad I refreshed before posting. Gun references in profile mentions are a thing Velma and I disagree on. I have personal reasons for hating guns and they're not allowed in my house, but it would never be a deal breaker for me. It's just another interest (and one shared by a number of people I love) and far less polarizing, I think, than Velma believes.