Profile

I thought your tagline looked familiar - and then I saw the banners for Pleasures Club on your profile. We're new to NE Alabama and keep trying to get to one of the monthly parties but something always gets in the way. I've seen you on the list of potential attendees and looked at your profile and promptly said "nope" and didn't give you a second thought.

If you are a professional then you need to create a profile that backs up that claim. What you have now looks like a 25 year old threw it together on his phone. Sit down at a computer and compose your text in a word processor so you can take time to really write something to be proud of. Write a few sentences that fit each section header and don't leave any section blank (at your age you should have experience and fantasies). Use complete sentences and proper punctuation. Currently I think every sentence in your profile starts with "I" - try to vary your sentence structure a bit. Don't call us females; call us ladies or women. Description should be less about sex and more about you in general. When you're happy with your text run spell check and grammar check.

Velma gave you the short version of her system of core pictures for your public gallery. A pool or beach picture will show off your semi-naked body in a way that is attractive. A dressed up nice picture shows us what to expect when we meet you and a picture of you doing something fun shows us you have a life. Anything else can be in private galleries and opened for those you hope to connect with. My advice is simple - smile (even if you obscure your face it affects your whole body), watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies. Friends or even strangers will take a picture or two for you - all you have to do is ask!

So - read the reviews for other single guys if you need more advice (you're not alone) and do some re-writing, get a few pictures and then come back for us to help refine some more if necessary.

Good luck and have fun! And maybe I'll see you at a party if the stars align and I finally get to one.

~Phoebert's Wife

"Put some clothes on."

That's usually my line. ;-)

OP, I get the impulse to be completely transparent about your body, but in your age bracket I'm looking for men who read as gentlemen. Possibly dirty, but gentlemen.

And while I'm not expecting much in the way of conversation from a 29 year old (and am very pleasantly surprised when I get it), my expectations are much higher for those old enough to be that 29 year old's dad. I'm probably not alone in that.

So your written text needs to be well thought out and approached as if you were writing a resume for a job you really wanted.

I have to go lift heavy things, so I'm not going to repeat the advice I've given hundreds of times about what goes in each category. But I imagine you can discover it just by reading one or two threads and applying it to your profile.

Here's the other reason you don't boast about your oral skills: On any given evening, I can find someone who will do me right. It might be a regular playmate, my significant other, or a guy I didn't exchange a single word with first. Magic tongues might be magical, but they ain't special.

You wanna know what's special? Every single unique human on the planet. Show that and you're likely to get laid.

Go work on your profile and then come back for a review.

I mean... honestly... there isn't much to go on. You didn't put much effort into your profile and you are reaping exactly what you sewed.

Put some clothes on. Get at least 3 pictures: A picture of you dressed like you are going on a date, a picture of you at the beach or a pool and a picture of you doing something interesting like rock climbing, running a 5K or riding a motorcycle.

These pictures need to be taken by somebody else and should be full body. Once you do that, repost back here so we can look at the pictures and refine them.

Many of the requests for profile help follow similar themes. You can help yourself by reading prior suggestions and applying them to your profile

The idea here is that people can help you with your profile (like the magic tongue comment), but you still have to write it yourself. The more effort you put into it, the more you're likely to get out of it.

As for your profile pic, you'd be better off with a fully (well) dressed pic with a big smile than what you have now

First, put on a nice shirt and some pants and get some well done non-selfie pics. In your age bracket you have to present yourself as a gentleman. If you indeed are a professional then let us see that. Also, write like one as well. Take some time and fill out each section with a small paragraph. Try and stay clear of phrases like magic tongue, fingers, etc. Generally, when couples see that it indicates a small to average package. We don't post profiles just to have guys do oral. Just fill it out a bit more and then we can comment and help iron out the rest.

First, what we're going to say may sound mean. It's not meant that way. Take it with the idea that we're trying to help you get laid.

First, that pic needs to go. Hopefully, Velma will be around to give you her pic advice. But making that your first impression is not doing you any favors.

Your text is also coming across as very egotistical. Tone it down a little.

And many assume that a guy bragging about his oral skills lacks in other areas. Maybe don't mention it to avoid a negative perception. Show them when you get the chance.

How can i improve my profile