Profile

"FWIW - It's times like this that make it worth while for those of us willing to take the time to try to help someone."

Yes, definitely. It's extremely annoying when someone asks for profile help or advice, and from the way they word the request, you just KNOW that they're going to get all pissed off, ignore every bit of advice that will actually HELP them, and just flounce. Even worse is when they come back a month later with the same shitty profile, with the same insincere request for help.

So when we have folks actually take the advice seriously and WORK on improving their profile, it's a joy to help them out.

Even if I didn't get in on helping you since I'm not your target demographic. ;)

You still need to go over it one more time to fix the typos, random capitalizations and the date for the third climb.

But once again - great job!

thank you all for all the positive criticism. We took it to heart and made changes accordingly.

Wow! What a transformation. Nice job! Ditto on the picture. Your 3rd pic is way more appealing than your current default pic.

FWIW - It's times like this that make it worth while for those of us willing to take the time to try to help someone.

I have a question about the main profile pic. Well, I have a question and a statement. First, I dont like it. It's not aesthetically pleasing. It's just a bad picture, made worse with sloppy photoshopping.

Second, why hide your faces if you are just going to reveal your faces in your other pictures?

I do agree that your profile is much better than when you started. Nice job!

"I’ve never been much for two guys at once because then I can’t concentrate on my own orgasm, but one after the other - yes please."

Yep. I'm not a huge fan of multitasking, but one at a time and I can go all night.

OP (that's you, thread starters), you've managed an amazing transformation. Nice job! There are still some typos, and a missing number for the third climb, but one pass through a decent spell check program should fix all of it.

Good luck!

"I’ve never been much for two guys at once because then I can’t concentrate on my own orgasm, but one after the other - yes please."

Same. I have a very hard time concentrating on myself if there are two guys, or two guys and a girl. If it's a MFM then it's always me first. Any other combination I don't mind waiting my turn.

"This almost feels like dating again and We haven't had to date in 18 years besides with each other."

This is exactly how it is. You are exactly how my husband and I started. We started watching/soft. We've been together since we were teens so dating a couple was interesting.

Like I said last night, I didn't finish reading past the first paragraph, but I think you guys look good right now. I hope you have wonderful time tonight.

Thank you all for the positive criticism and we mean that. This is new to us so we were attempting to figure this out and how to build a profile. This almost feels like dating again and We haven't had to date in 18 years besides with each other. This does mean a lot to us. We will be going up to Yosemite and Sequia National Forrest again in the next week or so, there we should get more pictures of each other.

One more thing-SLS is not real life. Keep this in mind when you take pictures. Your objective is not necessarily to lie, but instead To only show positive aspects of your life.

If you look at my real life-I’m a mess. On SLS I’m fun and sexy and interesting. Try to keep that in mind and only show your best face.

Please keep the pictures you have right now. When you get a chance go to the beach and take a few pictures. Also go to a sporting event or sign up for a 5K or go rock climbing-something to show you doing something fun. If you need me to keep my beach pictures open for you to see how to pose in a bikini just send me a message and I’ll keep them open for you.

Much better! Short & sweet is so much easier to read and more inviting & enticing.

Work on taking a few pictures of each other doing fun things - on your next camping or hiking trip for example. We've had good luck on popular day hikes finding someone else to take a picture of us together.

There are some random capitalizations and odd punctuation issues but nothing glaring.

Ok we re-worked our profile

You have quite a bit there and some of it is good and some, not so much. It is kind of a hard read.

As mentioned, treat each section like a question. Read what you wrote and ask yourself if it would fit better in another section. In "Looking for", you spend more time talking about what you aren't looking for rather than what you are. That whole 1st paragraph could simply say, "We are not interested in single guys/girls at this time". You only have 2 sentences in that whole section that actually answer what you're looking for. Keep and expand on those and the rest can either go away or get moved to more appropriate sections.

I like that you listed out all of your hobbies in the Description. In theory it gives people talking points to engage you, but you can say this in less words. Something like, "We both like fishing, hiking, camping, etc" and then maybe "He/She also likes....." The "tipsy" and "buzzed" comments are at a minimum yellow flags and can simply say, "We are social drinkers and 420 friendly", if that's the case.

Much of the Fantasies section can go away or at least be less wordy/specific. For example, "We'd love to someday experience MFM and possibly a DP for her". As for the male/male stuff, again, less words. Something like "Curious about M/M play"

The Additional Comments section has some combative/defensive text that makes me NOT want to engage you. Everyone knows that "No means No". Again, lots of words to say very little. For example, "V-Safe and we always use condoms" is sufficient and much of what you have in that section belongs in or is repeated in other sections, so it can move or go away.

Like the others, I'm not picking on you personally. Just trying to help you with your profile.

some people actually like getting passed around

Oh, Hell yeah. We haven’t been to a party in ages. I forgot how awesome is when one guy pulls out and another guy slides in without missing a beat.

I’ve never been much for two guys at once because then I can’t concentrate on my own orgasm, but one after the other - yes please.

"We are not your toy legos where you pass them around and that is so disrespectful if you act that way in your real life. That would explain why you're single."

I stopped reading when I got to this. You're on a swing site; here some people actually like getting passed around. You're going to a party tomorrow, right? This sounds a little judgmental. The last thing you want to do is to offend someone on your first outing.

Also, your profile is open to single men. If you don't want them to contact you, block them. This still allows you to look at their profiles so you can reach out if you find someone you're interested in.

I'm not normally very brutal or negative but your profile was very off-putting to me - so MsMolly's disclaimer applies to me as well - we don't hate you but we might hate your profile.

Part of the problem is the sheer volume of words in your profile. I recommend copying the whole thing into a word processor on your computer and both of you go through it and refine/reduce the text to maybe five sentences per section. Write it as a team rather than each of you writing separately (emphasize "we" rather than "I"). Then once you get the text you like run the spell check and grammar check to catch all the obvious errors. At that point you can copy your text for each section back to SLS and save it and wait for approval (then fix the want smokers/drinkers toggle and save again).

Don't repeat information in your Description section that is in your stats (height, weight, age, etc.) since it is so easy for everything to get out of synch. Negativity is a big turn off - try to reword your thoughts in a positive light (rather than insist that single guys not contact you, declare that you will contact single guys when you are in the mood for MFM encounters). Don't try to tell people what not to do - the offenders won't read enough of your profile to see that info and it pisses off the people that do read your profile. You include a lot of information that no one else really needs to know - keep a lot of the background info and explanations to yourself.

If you've been married fifteen years then the wedding picture is too old - your pictures should all be recent (a year or maybe two years old). Some of your pictures work pretty well - so you can probably keep some of the recent ones.

Come back & let us know when you've done a re-write and we can do this all again - as long as you're making forward progress we'll be happy to help you get a profile that will help you find the people you're looking for.

Good luck!

~Phoebert's Wife

Yeah, I wasn’t going to get into the whole “soft swap but not really.” Thing.

Do you have every right to play the way you want to play. But to be blunt I think your profile smells like a guy who is trying to get his wife to swing and she’s not on board.

You should probably take out the soft swap lately and just do you watch only until you know what you want.

Please kill all the pictures of the mail half fishing. Never take a picture with a gun or a fish.

I would kill the wedding picture-the female half’s hair is different. Don’t show pictures older than a year. Don’t show pictures if you have different hair or different facial hair.

Keep the picture of her in a red dress-it’s amazing. Kill the picture with Mickey Mouse-it looks like it was taken 20 years ago.

Kill the picture of you to hiking-both of you look overweight in that picture.

You need to take new pictures under the guidelines I gave you. That will give you the best chance of success.

Hi and welcome. I'm going to say things that might sound horrendously mean. Please don't take them personally. I'm not holding a referendum on you, just your profile and some of the ways it is currently getting in the way of you finding what you want.

Got that? That it isn't mean for the sake of meanness? Good.

So, your profile is a train wreck. You've included your private conversations in several places, given far too clear a window into your relationship and scattered a multitude of red flags throughout.

Rather than go into detail, because it's every aspect, I'm just going to stick with a few before moving on to general guidelines.

So, strangers don't need to know who is in charge or how he feels when she's not happy. And it might be true that she's more fun when drinking, but in swinging it's a big ole red flag.

Your age range of 21 (15 years younger than her) to 45 (four years older than him) is also probably a more negative view into your processes than you realize. And if she doesn't think he's handsome, how do you think others are going to feel about the prospect of meeting him?

Looking For is for complete sentences about who you are looking for in a way that focuses on those people and not on you. And then what you are looking for, avoiding mention of what you aren't looking for.

Description is about you, mostly as a couple and only a little about you as individuals. It's best to avoid the awkward about him/about her thing.

Fantasies is generally meant for those fantasies you're actually thinking of including others in. It's not for bringing the things you turn each other on with into public view, not because that's wrong but because it's pointless.

Additional comments is probably where you say under what circumstances you might consider going beyond watching.

And that's all the time I have right now.

Good luck.

Thanks, I uploaded some pictures. unfortunately at this time, I don't have that many pictures of just me or just her.

So first things first...

You need better pictures. What you have now is not cutting it.

I opened a private gallery for you to see some picture examples. Basically, you need 5 core full-body pictures - taken by somebody else.

I created something called the DEBauCH method. This means you need a DATE picture to show what you would look like if you showed up for a date - maybe take it at a nicer Resturant, her in a dress and heels, him in slacks and a sport coat.

You need an EVENT picture to show that you have a life outside of swinging - go do a 5K or go rock climbing. Maybe a baseball game?

You need a BEACH picture to show off your bodies. A pool works just as well.

Then you need a picture of the CHICK and a picture of HIM.

Again, look in my private gallery for tips on how to pose in a bikini.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to wear heels of at least 3” in height. It pumps your ass up and straightenes your posture. If you don’t like to wear heels, my advice is to GET OVER IT.

Couple more things: unless the lady half vomits in her mouth a little when she thinks of playing with another girl, list her as “bi curious.” You’ll get more attention that way and all you have to do is bump boobs, do a little kissing and the boys will be happy. Seriously, it’s not a big deal.

I consider myself straight, but I’ll still go down on a girl faster than a 737 MAX because it’s fun. But if she is 100% not interested in girl homo, don’t do it.

I have some ideas about your profile text, but I need to finish up some done stuff. Work on your pictures. Use my private section as a guide.

Can some one please critique our profile and let us know how we did or didn’t do?