Please review our profile

Part TWO:

Your pictures show you have something hot and sexy to share and I’d like to read something with substance about you and your relationship, like <<we’ve been together for XX years, he likes when she ?? and she adores women who run their hands over his thighs so she can watch him go wild. >>

I also think your picture of your girl in her bathing suit makes we want to drop to my knees and prey at her bosoms with my lips - so - let me read plenty of fun true facts about her and around my appetite like << her teasing lasts as long in the night>> or <<she never wear panties on our dates>> or <<she always whispers dirty suggestions when you least expect it>> Whatever you write, write something that compliments her beauty - please...thank you!

In Descriptions, listing your height and weight are not necessary. Your toggles in Tools/Update Profile/Preferences do this well and your pictures tell a far better story than you do. IMO - your lady has one beautiful ass and I’m interesting in reading more about her and fill-up my imaginations with facts about her lusciousness. With that nice of an ass - please - write something sizzling, like <<she dresses up for dinner with garter belts and stockings>> or << she wears her hair down when she gives oral sex.>> Whatever you write, write that’s true. And give everyone more information about the woman with that amazing ass - please - and thank you!

Your overall profile needs more work and more words. To find more, I’d describe yourself to each other and take notes, then read each others descriptions aloud and go back and forth. We did this and laughed until we eventually found something we agreed about together.

"We have attended…" all the way to "...the lifestyle” should move under Fantasies. Here again, my comment about this section is you need more narrative.

In a one sentence finish let me summarize - thank you very much for a look at your girls beautiful T & A, now please give me more words I can read. Ward

Hey cute couple from Taylor MI, nice to read you and offer my review. I'm having trouble posting, so I'll try this in two sections if tht's my problem.

First off, I’m not a picture guy with great pics myself - and I love cargo pants.

Welcome to your 4th day on SLS with your profile and congratulations for asking about a better profile right from the start - hope I help. Asking for a profile review is a little like the first second watching your partner having sex with somebody else: it’s an uncomfortable explosion of fear, anger, joy, excitement, redirection, and new beginnings in one blink of the eye - and then it passes and you realize the experience was memorable, great, challenging and changing. A similar uncomfortable explosion can happen here too when you hear a review about your profile - but the review is not about you - it is about what you have written. Be assured that everyone in this forum wants to help you have more sex with more people. And my advice to you, like when your partner's having sex with someone else; sit back, take it all in, and enjoy the show.

I finished reading your profile sooner than I liked because your profile is simply too short. You pic looked good but when I scrolled down I scrolled down into emptiness - adding narrative (words) about your beautiful selves should be your first thing I’d redo. IMO - I like 2-3 paragraphs per section containing 1-3 sentences per paragraph. That's roughly somewhere around 350-500 words. Your current word count is at 150 and that's noticeably slim to my eyes. Be sure to separate your individual paragraphs with hard returns to give “white space” around your words.

I found the word “fun” appearing three times and it’s unsupported by any fun facts or supporting fun descriptions about you two, like <We have fun ballroom dancing and bowling on Wednesday nights.>> or << It’s fun going camping and canoeing fun when we can>> or << it’s fun to bicycle the dirt roads around our thousand acre ranch with friends>>. Fun’s also the same as entertainment, amusement, pleasure, leisure, relaxation, enjoyment and merriment. Associate yourselves with a sentence or three using these fun words, like <<Entertainment for us on the weekends is dressing up and going to dinner>> or something you actually amuse yourself with in your leisure time.

Wear cargo pants and some of us will. If you're fast at removing them, there might be a reward instead of the citation for fashion crimes. ;-)

The pants have to go?

Damn, I wish women would say that to me.

Nope, sorry, the cargo pants have to go. We can hold a memorial if you like.

Oh no!
I have cargo pants! Please don’t make me burn my pants.

Velmandshaggy,

My wife and i are genuine and choose not to show our faces. People have the choice to accept that or pass us by. It is our choice to send people our face pictures through text or email. So far, we has ve talked with a few members who are ok with that. We sre here to mzke friends and see where it goes. Thank you for your opinion. Have a great weekend. Btw, the wife is just as excited as i am.

One more thing.

I’m not crazy that you don’t have private pictures of your faces. Yes, I know you gave important jobs and you’re active in your church and you’re planning on being appointed to the Supreme Court, but most people are not going to deal with people who want to send pictures offline.

In our case, 100% of the people who don’t have private pics are either flakes, or men who are trying to get their wives to swing but know she would flip her shit of her face was online.

So we just don’t deal with people who don’t have private pics anymore. We pass them by.

You may be different. You may be the awesome exception, but in reality, it’s just s pain in the ass to deal with. Not trying to change your mind, but recognize that if you don’t have face pics in your private section, most people won’t be interested.

Her 5'3" 180, gorgeous and a blast to be around, him 5'8" 210 lbs and wild.

Take this out. You already have demographic info in your profile header and you already made a mistake. Your demographic header lists the female half as 179. So what is she? 179 or 180? What else could you be lying about if you can’t even get this story straight? Eliminate the problem and take it out.

Your profile is kind of boring. It’s like the Applebee’s of profiles - no real effort and everything is kind of bland. And anyway, nobody goes to Applebee’s. You end up at Applebee’s because it’s still open at 10 when you get to the hotel. Seriously, their slogan should be “Fine, let’s just go to Applebee’s.”

Don’t be Applebee’s. Don’t be “fine, we’ll just fuck this couple.”

Like it or not, you are a brand. You are selling yourself. My husband and I positioned ourselves as a “hot, fun, fit couple” but we aren’t so hot that we are unattainable. There is a reason why we show ourselves doing Triathlon and doing interesting things - I call them “hooks.” Our profile is designed to “hook” people with common interests like travel, the NBA, cycling, running and so on. It gives someone an excuse to contact you that goes beyond sex.

Think about your narrative. What can you offer that other couples can’t? Then write your narrative. Talk about your hobbies. Talk about why you want this and why you seek this specific kind of sex.

Rewrite, thinking about your brand, and repost.

Couple of things.

First off, there is no way in hell the male half is 210. My husband is 210 and he’s a goddam Triathlete. Put in accurate weights or put in some time to lose weight, but the guy is nowhere near 210.

Get rid of the wedding picture. At your age it either means it’s a 20 year old pic, or it means you just got married. I don’t like either of those scenarios. Kill it.

Kill the two butt pictures. Clinical pictures don’t help anyone. I know she has a butt, but I can’t tell her butt apart from anyone else’s.

The first couples pic is good. Keep it.

Now we’re on to the couples pic with the yellow blouse and blue polo. Oh fuck no. Cargo pants. Shit, I bet you were wearing sandals and had a phone holster. That’s the pic that makes me think the male half isn’t 210 lbs. His gut is showing in the picture and it’s pretty noticeable.

Please burn those cargo shorts. There is absolutely no reason for any man to wear cargo shorts.

Now, let’s talk about what you should do.

You should show yourself doing interesting things. Your profile doesn’t get much into your hobbies, but I have an idea - there is a rock climbing gym in Madison Heights called Planet Rock. I want you and your wife to go there and sign up for a beginner package. Have someone take a few pictures of the male half when he is up on the rock wall. This accomplishes three things - first, it puts him in dominant position. Second, it forces perspective away which makes him look smaller and hides his gut. Third, it makes him seem athletic and doing an interesting thing.

I also want you two to go to a Detroit Pistons game and take a few pictures.

Finally, try a picture of the female half in lingerie, but have her stand contrapposto - google it or just look at how I stand in my profile- it’s how Greek statues stand and it’s sort of like an S curve.

I will try to get into your specific profile text after lunch.

Hi and welcome. Your profile blocks single women, so I can't offer an opinion. You might consider briefly changing that because there are several of us who regularly do critiques (you won't be inundated with messages, I promise!), but there are others and I imagine someone else will be along.

Good luck.