Same room swap

Swinging is something we share together. The Watching, touching, hearing it all together. I can’t understand the turn on about it if we are separated by being in different rooms.

We started out as same room, but as trust and experience deepened, we're fine either way. The attraction to same room is that we both enjoy watching the other with another partner(s). We are okay with whatever the other couple wants as well. I think this is just trying different things and settling on what you prefer.

It actually took us a while to work up to separate room play and same room play just seemed much more natural and appealing to us since we enjoyed seeing each other having fun with others, and even played off that. We also like the idea of being able to touch others during play (the Mrs loves boobs). Seeing more people here where separate room play is the norm with "maybe" working towards same room play. Interesting.

We have gotten to the point where we are good with either so long as there are no trust concerns. Mainly that the guy isn't going to try to slip in there without a condom.

When we first started there were things considered "too intimate". The Mrs felt that way about kissing, but we quickly got past that being any sort of concern and kissing/cuddling is all part of the fun now. The LS has definitely been an evolving process for us, and probably for most.

We have only engaged in separate room swap. We enjoy being with that partner alone. We feel the sex should be private and intimate.

We have only engaged in separate room swap. We enjoy being with that partner alone. We feel the sex should be private and intimate.

SC: You probably don't want to assume anything if setting one up. There are various combinations of Bi play and it may not be totally obvious what is expected. For example, it is highly unlikely that we'd start any same room swap with girl on girl, much less the girls licking each other.

Then there are potential guy on guy possibilities. As you may have read in other threads, not all guys that list as straight really are, but for whatever reason they list themselves that way. Why assume when you can just ask for what YOU want so that the other couple has a general idea of what you're looking for?

We,ve always assumed that your first time with another cpl would be same room sex. The ladies eating each other or also like theidea of a mfm pleasing one wife, then they switch and mfm pleases the other wife.

“For me, it’s the chance to hold my wife’s hand as she’s having her third orgasm. It’s the chance to learn even more about her as she responds to someone who touches her in completely different ways than I do.”

Well said! I’ve gotten completely distracted more than once watching someone make her cum again and again. I’ve learned things watching her playing with someone new, as has she when watching me.

We are a same room couple. We do separate rooms only when we happen to be in separate cities (we both travel often).
The appeal of same room play is more than just the visuals. For me, it’s the chance to hold my wife’s hand as she’s having her third orgasm. It’s the chance to learn even more about her as she responds to someone who touches her in completely different ways than I do.

And yes, there is a safety and security aspect, as well. It’s not that we are constantly worried about safety, but my wife definitely can relax more when she knows I’m actively look out for her. We don’t have many close friends in the lifestyle. That means that we are usually fucking folks who are relatively strangers. Even if we’ve known them for months, had dinner at their home, etc, they are still going to be largely an unknown. All it takes is one idiot to ignore our rules behind closed doors, to ruin the evening.

One additional reason we avoid separate rooms is that we want to avoid intimacy with others. I know that may sound cold, but true intimacy is reserved for our bedroom. In the past, we’ve had swing partners, both men and women, start to catch feelings. We are not a polyamorous couple. This is all just recreation for us.

Re: Appeal of separate room play

We've only been doing this for about a year now. This is NOT separate dates, but I can see where the appeal can be similar.

Basicaly, what you imagine is happening or happened can be as, or more, erotic than what actually is (or did) happen. This is especially true if you have a good imagination AND even more so if you can hear sexy sounds coming from your mate while they're playing.

Agreed, watching each other is incredibly erotic, and it opens up possibilities you just can't find in separate room play that we both find intoxicating. Also, for folks like us, there's an element of mutual respect that goes into our preference for same-room play. We're still evolving, and we like to check in with each other from time to time to make sure we're both okay with everything that's happening, and we're both being treated right.

We enjoy watching our partner being pleasured by someone new and as the last few posters mentioned, it opens up some group play as well.

We are ok with separate room, no jealousy issues here but still prefer to interact with each other during play.

~S~

We like same room same bed because it turns into a 4 way more than a couple swap. The Mrs likes to play with 2 guys at the same time. She will also play with the other lady. Ideally 3 couples and 2 SM's works well. Plus, if the guy turns out to be a dud, she can still get action from someone else on the bed.

When I was previously here as a couple with an ex-girlfriend, the appeal of same room swap is the appeal of sex with a group of people and the kinds of things it takes more than two people to do, like games, a dp, etc. If I I wanted to have one-on-one sex, I'd stay home and have it with whomever I was dating. What I don't understand is the appeal of separate rooms.

OP: There are a lot of people (us included) that enjoy seeing and hearing their other half have fun with others. We are both in this for each other and so we derive a lot of our pleasure from seeing each other have fun with others.
For us, it is about as distracting as having porn on in the background, meaning it enhances rather than detracts from our experience. The person we're with gets the effect of heightened sense of pleasure so usually they get more, not less out of the "distraction". One female half of one couple we know picked up on this and told her hubby to fuck my Mrs better so should would get fucked better...lol

When we're alone together later the thoughts of seeing each other doing the things we did is what adds that "spice", as people call it. Also, though not so much in a 2 on 2 scenario, but when for example multiple guys are involved, it's good to be able to keep an eye on things and make sure the guys are wearing condoms.

Lastly, when we are all together on the same bed it allows contact that would otherwise not be possible. For example, the Mrs loves boobs but even more so in the heat of thee moment. She will also allow women to do things with/to her while she is "distracted" by a guy that she would not otherwise do. I of course, being like most guys, enjoy seeing that too ;-)

OP: There are a lot of people (us included) that enjoy seeing and hearing their other half have fun with others. We are both in this for each other and so we derive a lot of our pleasure from seeing each other have fun with others.

For us, it is about as distracting as having porn on in the background, meaning it enhances rather than detracts from our experience. The person we're with gets the effect of heightened sense of pleasure so usually they get more, not less out of the distraction. One female half of one couple we know picked up on this and told her hubby to fuck me Mrs better so should would get fucked better...lol

When we're alone together later the thoughts of seeing each other doing the things we did is what adds that "spice", as people call it. Also, though not so much in a 2 on 2 scenario, but when for example multiple guys are involved, it's good to be able to keep an eye on things and make sure the guys are wearing condoms.

Lastly, when we are all together on the same bed it allows contact that would otherwise not be possible. For example, the Mrs loves boobs but even more so in the heat of thee moment. She will also allow women to do things with/to her while she is "distracted" by a guy that she would not otherwise do. I of course, being like most guys, enjoy seeing that too ;-)

I suspect the number one draw for same room is the ability to have a direct first-hand observation of the spouse, in some cases for jealousy reasons but I suspect for most true swingers the bigger reason is simply that they derive that much pleasure from that direct first-hand observation.

We have done both same room and separate rooms, and while I very much enjoy watching her enjoy her pleasures with another man, it is a distraction from what I should be focusing on....pleasing the other lady.

We are new to the lifestyle, still trying to get our feet wet. We have done the seperate room full swap and have started to venture out on our own and are have a good time. What we can't understand is what the appeal for same room swap is. All we hear is it's fun, but why? Any other ways to discribe it besides fun? What is it about same room that is so appealing? Please help. Wr genuinely want to understand.