Men who hate parties?

I love house parties and enjoy hosting 5 or 6 couples and select singles.

However, I have also noticed a few single men just want the sex and not the LS. Big difference.

Do what my wife did when we first started to get serious, She demanded no monogamy or she would not move in with me. Just say it all up front with the men,

LadyBlue,

He's not a swinger, as 99% of single men who hang around the lifestyle aren't. He sees you as his date, and he doesn't want to share. Not a swinger. If you started dating one of those men and formed a LTR with one of them, you wouldn't be swingers anymore.

Certainly doesn't speak to all cases, but performance anxiety is one of the reasons the Mrs and I will sometimes play in separate rooms.

We have a same-room play rule between us that I won't start fucking a girl till the guy the Mrs is with does. It was actually a rule I suggested because a large part of my enjoyment is seeing the Mrs have fun too. We've just had WAY too many cases where the other guy can't get and/or stay hard if I start fucking first for whatever reason.

We also have a few very experienced friends where having another guy in the room is distracting enough to cause performance issues for them.

If this has ever happened to a guy I can see why they'd want to avoid a party.

FWIW - This is DEFINITELY one of those cases where Viagra helps. I have found a generic source that's under $1/pill, and I only take half a pill when we're going to play. Cheap insurance to help everyone have a good time. For those wishing to go that route I'd suggest trying one first because headache can be a common side effect.

A lot of men can not get it up in group. They want one on one in privacy so they can get hard.

My personal experience is that its usually fear of being recognized, as some guys secretly swing with actual girlfriends--but don't tell them of other partners.

If I were a betting man, I'd say it's less about marital status and more about performance anxiety...or pre-performance anxiety, but I could be wrong.

For many, it all sounds so great on the front end; a room full of good looking people fucking...and the opportunity to meet and play with sex-positive people in a jealousy-free environment. Then, the reality sets in and the insecurities and self-doubt creep in; Is my dick as big as the other guys in the room? If I'm distracted, will I lose or fail to achieve lift? Can I stay hard/cum while wearing a condom? What if I can't make her cum multiple times? What if I look over and see my parish priest or my 6th grade daughter's math teacher..or both, together?? Maybe I shouldn't have eaten Taco Bell? Do I look fat in this condom? ...Wait, what just touched my leg?!?

There's a lot of potential for the big head to wreak havoc on its junior partner's activities.

That's why if you have the opportunity, and you're playing with a new partner, doing so a few times before heading for the main stage/a bigger party is always a good idea. What does that look like? Maybe, it means going to your local club and only playing as a couple, with one another? If one of you is new, perhaps that first time is in a private room, and you graduate the next time to a room with sheers covering the door, and finally to the couples' room or center stage?

Just my 2 cents, Ms LadyBlue.

BT

It has been my unfortunate experience that many "supposedly single" men hate big parties. Is it performance anxiety or, if they're cheating, fear of recognition? My past experience has shown that men who reject parties are cheating or have problems going a second round after cumming.

I will routinely get turned down to eacort me to a party, yet the man will then ask for a private date. Not only do I not consider that "swinging", as a bi female, I do desire a woman present.

Opinions?