There is an organization called NCSF - National Coalition of Sexual Freedom.
The Kink And Poly Aware Professionals Directory (KAP) is a service offered by NCSF dedicated to providing the community with a listing of psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who have stated that they are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.
If the issue isn't really LS related, you could also just not mention it.
No- we have been in the lifestyle since the early 90’s and have taken breaks from time to time for various reasons.
This is more to help us - it is just that being in the LS can distract some therapists and we were looking to see if anyone had one they could recommend.
Surely your goal is not "fix communication so we can swing." (RHETORICAL)
...if you can clarify your goals, you'll be able to better identify appropriate help.
Thing is, if you're having communication issues or any issues in your marriage, you step back from the lifestyle, and focus on that.
There are therapists that are truly objective and will not judge that you want to be non-monogamous. Just ask them when you screen for one. That said, your marriage should be the focus, not the swinging. Good swinging comes from the healthy relationship the two of you have.
In addition to sex therapists - and I'd second that suggestion, even if you don't feel you specifically want a sex therapist, based on my own experience - there are also sex positive therapists who advertise as such and work with those whose sexual expression is non-standard.
Therapy is really a process that involves a lot of listening and some light pushes in the right direction for you to be able to resolve your own issues. Being in the lifestyle should not change the process, but if you do pick a therapist you may simply want to ask them how they feel out being in the lifestyle right up front. If they have biases then they should be able to tell you that and perhaps direct you to someone they know that can be more understanding.
Esperanza- no our marriage is not in danger. Just some differences in communication styles That may be keeping things from being their best.
friends2nc a lot depends on what you need to work out or rather what is cropping up a lot. If it is strictly inside your marriage then a relationship therapist might be able to help however the moment you mention you are in the lifestyle it will be blamed for any and all of your problems. If it is a problem within the lifestyle (let's say jealousy) then that really is something that the two of you will have to work out on your own because the fact is no "therapist" is equipped to handle issues a couple has stemming from the lifestyle. In fact most would once again blame your issues on being in the lifestyle. I mean isn't a relationship supposed to just be about a couple and anything else is cheating? BTW that is the therapist point of view. Now a sex therapist was mentioned but to my understanding they deal more with helping people overcome sexual issues as an individual or couple. They may be more tuned in on the lifestyle and accepting of it so they may be of some help. The thing is they will likely give you the same advice I am about to. If there is a problem in your relationship regardless of what it stems from you need to step back from the lifestyle a bit and work it out. I'm not saying quit the lifestyle but take a break and work whatever it is out between the two of you. All bringing in a therapist will do is add a third party and their views and opinions. They might cause more damage than good especially when dealing with a relationship that does not fit in the "accepted" definition.
Is your marriage in jeopardy because you swing? Is your swinging jeopardized because you're married? If you can clarify your goals and priorities, it's easier to identify where to turn for help.
If you are having some difficulty and LS activities are a big part of that and don't want to be stared at oddly you may consider a sex therapist as an initial stop. Even if you cannot locate a certified one close by keep in mind that all certified counselors will keep your information confidential. Hope that you all can get everything worked out.
