We do it all the time after we have dated and are good friends. One of the frustrations of the lifestyle is scheduling and kids. We mostly do this for quick lunch trysts when two halves have the time and there is a place nearby. Having the freedom to do this also extends to 3somes. When someone is on travel, it's a good time to have a 3some.
In my mind, there are some fantasies that just rarely play out well in reality, and this is one of them.
I’ve heard many even talk of the extreme version of this in terms of polyamorous situations. I’ve yet to actually see a successful example of it in real life.
Swinging only works if you have a very tight relationship with your other half. You must be best friends and lovers. This is what makes a marriage last and work.
I have seen so many couples that tried swinging to save their marriages. Never worked, never will.
There is no other woman that I would want to live with, a few I would love to have living in a guest bedroom for a month or so. My wife feels the same way about other men. Her long term lover she looks forward to spending a weekend with but not to live with.
Its the happiness of sharing a life together that makes for happy swingers
Actually, it looks like autocorrect turned ‘regret’ into ‘retreat’ ....
My apologies...
#Swinger'sRemorse
No bueno.
BT
This is where communication
Communication
COMMUNICATION
comes into play.
Talk about those feelings so that they are out there. It may not change anything but at least everyone knows where things stand and why . That way there shouldn’t be any question going forward.
As always it is better to not do, then to do and retreat later.
Good luck
~ the GodFokker
cpl4 let your wife have her fun without you doing anything. Start with her not spending the night with another man. She will find that the fun is all about the worship before the sex and after the sex that worship of her starts to fad.
My wife of thirty years only spends the weekend or the night with one man. This is a man who she loves having sex with but can not live with from college before she met me. He is married and has permission from his wife for one weekend a year with my wife. Everyone is living a very happy life, with my wife treating his wife as the top female.
For me I never want to spend the night with another women. Women are so much more emotional and after the sex is over and the glow fads you will start to her their stuff, good or bad. It takes way to much energy for me to act like I am caring about their stuff.
For you other women for a quick date and then sex and then say that was great lets do it again.
For your wife its going to be all about the worship that she gets from men. Women love the worship. Spending the night with a man diminishes the worship for next time. Your wife will become so happy all the time once the worship from other men start. Women who only want a man for sex is so very rare that men just worship the ground she walks on.
sex with other people is all about the excitement and fun of it all. Sex with other people has nothing to do with finding a better fuck or even caring who is better or sexier or whatever. It brings fun and excitement to the marriage and life. Its a fun adventure to share.
Thanks for the feedback everyone, it is an interesting Lifestyle. We have many pro's and con's that we see with this. We can go either way and be happy, we just wanted to put the question out there to see who had what experiences. We are leaning more toward Not doing it. The Male half is pretty open and comfortable with the Female going out on a date, spend time with another guy, even spend the night with him. The Female half is not so comfortable with the thought of him being out with another woman all night. Not that he is not trusted, but wondering if this other woman does things much better, makes him feel happier with her, and so on. Call it jealousy or a woman's thoughts, it just might not be a good idea.
My wife has a man every now and then that she dates and has a hot heavy short tem affair. She absolutely loves it. She is happy all the time. She is happy because she has her happy home with a man that she loves and she can have her fun.
Women have the most fun because men love to have their bodies used for sex. Men have to deal with women who by their nature want a relationship of some kind.
This is just a very simple response.
What do you gain by this?
What can you lose by this?
Is the gain worth more to you than the loss?
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Now with that said, no way in hell would we ever do that. We have seen this end in complete shitshows and have never seen it end cleanly. I mean NEVER end cleanly. Someone always gets butthurt about something and then you have 4 people who are fucked up. We play separately with a simple rule, you don't have to tell the other about it until after the fact. If you want to before, that's fine, but let the other know after the fact. This allows for spontaneous shit to happen :) We are 'allowed' to go away for a weekend if we want. This has happened on my side (guy) once and it was to a house party with a couple we both know really well. My wife was sick so she sent me solo. I left on Friday and came back Sunday. But it was not with just a woman. My wife currently is kinda pushing a little to have me go away for a weekend with another woman. Just another woman and myself. I have about a 2% interest in doing that. I am comfortable enough with my wife to fart in bed and do all the stupid things that I do, I don't want to have to change for the other woman :) She can go spend the night with a male friend of hers and that's fine. She has no desire for a weekend with a guy.
One time we did do a weekend with a couple, but it was an odd weekend. We got a very nice 3 room suite at a hotel for Friday and Saturday night. The other couple spent Friday and Saturday and we had 5 other couples over Friday night and then 5 different couples on Saturday night. It just felt weird with that other couple there all the time. Everyone knows their role in their relationship and now you have 4 people trying to figure out their role? That gets interesting.
So go back to the three questions above and then decide. Good luck.
We have been in the lifestyle for over 12 years now and have made many friends along the way. We recently have become very good friends with another couple who brought up the idea of going out on individual dates. Both of us are married couples for a long time and have very stable relationships and are very secure with our playing together. We understand that there is some very big potential issues that can arise from this but at the same time we think the idea of it is very erotic. We are wondering what others who have been in the situation would offer up as advice to us or if we should stay away from it all together.
