What is the difference?

Poly is short for polyamory. It is about multiple romantic relationships, not just sex, and not just several sexual relationships.

There seems to be lots of people on Fet looking for ltr

We are on Fetlife, didn't think of there for a LTR.

To find more people involved, I would try fetlife

We have been intrigued by this variation. It seems like the casual sex part of swinging has worn thin and we would like to have a more steady long term type of relationship. But where do we go from here? Doing some research on the web we have found a few sites dedicated to this, so we have a start. Going to our regular swingers M&G with a different eye. The only problem there is that it is mostly couples. So where do we go looking for single guys that may be looking for this type of relationship? One site noted that the OK Cupid dating site has more than their share of people into this. I guess we will have to see.

I always thought that having a poly relationship was having not only a sexual relationship but also an emotional relationship as well. A lot of the people in BDSM have poly relationships and they work out great if there is trust and open communication.

I couldn't agree more.

In my view, like-minded is one of the most overused phrases in the LS. I just turned 60 and, as of this date, I've yet to run across someone like-minded to me...including Lady.

But now that I think of it, that may mean that there's still hope for humanity.

Tramp

re: Why is it so hard to find people that are like-minded?

Probably because there are so many different versions of what people "like" ;-)

When we go to a party many consider it a house full of like-minded people, but the reality is many are searching for very different things. Some only want a female, some want different combinations of Bi play, some just want to socialize while others are there looking to take someone back to their place, some want some sort of kink/fetish, etc, etc, etc.

Oh and yes, more than sexual/romantic. I was the "man" they could rely on. Hard to explain. A woman doesn't really need a man. It's just sort of ... nice ... for some women, to have this "man concept" there. Whatever that concept is. For one, her highlight was clinging to me on long motorcycle rides. To the other, it was more a Dom/sub relationship. In fact, that was the main thing with that relationship.

I guess.... I was... a "placeholder man"? I was "having a man around without having the hassle of having a man always around." They kept their own houses, so they weren't always staying with us. During the work-/school-week it was more convenient to run their daily routines from their houses. I would only come over if they had the day off or needed something fixed (washing machine wasn't working, stove burner wouldn't light). The "fix shit and pay for things" guy. You know: husband.

LOL

Well, in our case, the other two women were my sub wives. It was a relationship in which my wife shared me with two of her single-mom friends as romantic and sexual relationships. The incredibly interesting thing was how different and separate the relationships were although we did just about everything other than romance/sex together. ... that has almost nothing to do with swinging -- "garden variety swinging," whatever that is -- because the two other women were not swingers in any shape or form of the word. The relationship worked for them because they wanted certain things from me, from that relationship. But they didn't have some random male following them home, trying to coral them, getting in the way of their mothering or trying to take our their lives. It was like... rent-a-husband... without a fee.

It evolved out of a long-term friendship with them to begin with. And then sort of ... coalesced into this thing. It was awesome. (Ended due to each of them, at different points, having to take jobs far away. Painful. Miss them terribly. But the one entered a new relationship no longer compatible to outsiders, and the other chose a celibate lifestyle now, not wanting complications of long-distance relationships. She prefers single living now, no dating.

Sometimes I think people wrap too much into the word swinging. It has become a catch-all for just about any kind of sex outside of conservative monogamy. But ... it really isn't. At a commercial site like this, though, hey -- more the merrier. Everyone who pays for a premium membership -- whether they're cheating husbands, single people, exhibitionists, or whatever -- all goes to the benefit of all. It keeps the site up and running. Poly has nothing to do with swinging -- unless the people in the poly relationship are swingers.

Why is it so hard to find people that are like-minded? Polyamory? Light swinging? I mean I know it happens are there other sites and things and places that you all might suggest?

While people will argue about definitions, there is a Venn diagram Map of Non-Monogamy by Franklin Veaux that is decent. There is an updated version of it on his blog. I recommend googling it.

My view is that poly involves romantic intimacy and feelings while swinging is no strings attached sex. There is a grey zone in between of recurring friends with benefits. Some poly folks consider it poly and swingers consider it swinging. Both are under the non-monogamy umbrella.

What's the difference between garden variety swinging, which is casual group sex, either one night or occasion, and poly? I thought poly meant an ongoing "relationship" with another person ot couple that one's partner is aware of, and which they might ne included in (or not)? Poly to me also indicates interest in non sex activities like travel or holidays together.