The man or bear question

Where I live I would prefer a bear to a sketchy looking dude any day. Like Wayne I sometimes am uncomfortable with sketchy dudes even as a male. Particularly at a credit union cash machine I frequent. There is a hobo with a healthy tan in residence nearby who looks like he's in the gym at least five days a week. When he shows up outside the bank lobby while I'm inside I tend to palm my compact box cutter, not my keys.

If I were a woman I would probably prefer the bear to pretty much any man in the woods. It's sad but I get it. However, Grizzlies are quite rare in Washington - for the moment. Several environmental groups are hell bent on re-introducing large numbers in the North Cascades. I'm not a fan of the idea. Two exceptions regarding black bears are females with cubs and along rivers when the salmon are running in the fall. They can get pretty aggressive over food late in the year.

It's easy to say when you are behind the keyboard. But I can assure you, when the black bear that had been stalking us came up to within 10 yards of us, my wife preferred my presence over the bears.

True story, scared the shit out of us, while hiking in southeast Oklahoma. We felt lucky to walk out of the woods alive!

"That's because you're a guy. Any woman following along had already gone through a couple of bags of popcorn. ;)"

haha so true

"Huh…
I thought it would take longer for the undercurrent of anger to come bubbling to the surface"

That's because you're a guy. Any woman following along had already gone through a couple of bags of popcorn. ;)

Im privileged to be in a position that has allowed me to see hundreds of guys ruined by toxic women & seen plenty of good women ruined by assholes. However, it's far from one sided...

An interesting POV... it's the same ones... like 90% of the time... it's the same guys taking advantage of women and it's same women picking assholes to be with. It's the same names or addresses every time..

So.... from my* POV... if you have picked 5 asshole boyfriends in a row.... look inward for the answer why...

Huh…

I thought it would take longer for the undercurrent of anger to come bubbling to the surface

Too bad guns can't solve that problem. Except, ooh, women who are homicide victims are overwhelmingly murdered by their partners.

I'm willing to bet in a measurable percentage of cases, guns were used to solve the problem. If you factor in the number of those women who were killed by their partners that then turned the gun on themselves.... after all.... depression is a symptom of abuse.

"I can show you 50 fucking cunts that have used men like a door mat since their titts popped up."

Uh-huh. Poor, poor pitiful man victims.

Too bad guns can't solve that problem. Except, ooh, women who are homicide victims are overwhelmingly murdered by their partners.

See: men who call women cunts and the throughline.

And single ladies can't figure out where all the good men are ..

But, YES... let's reverse the question: bear or random woman... bear.... every time. Because the bear won't change it's mind after the fact. It won't lie to it's friends about you. It won't make false allegations of rape or assault that will follow you the rest of your life, up to and including jail time. The bear won't expect you to buy it drinks to drink with someone else. The bear won't "friend zone" you after you are emotionally vested in it & use that advantage to milk you out of cash & favors for years.... destroying any future of a healthy relationship with anyone else & ultimately leading to your suicide. A bear has never asked me read it's mind & make decisions based on a mind driven by emotions. No bear in history has ever had a sociopathic narcissistic personality that led to years of emotional and financial abuse, causing the guy to spend years in therapy before he could have a healthy relationship. Nope.... gimme the damned bear.... because for every guy out there that not take no as the first answer or might call you a cunt at the bar.... I can show you 50 fucking cunts that have used men like a door mat since their titts popped up.

If the question was reversed:

If you were hiking alone in the woods, would you rather come across a bear or a random woman?

most men would say a woman, because all they can think about is fucking her in the woods.

Did you hear about the lizard?

A bear will never lie to get in someone's pants.
A bear will never grabbed a person's hand to put it on their crotch. A bear will never sexually assault a human, living or dead. MEN have done and continue to do all of these things.

Go learn about the What Were You Wearing Exhibit. One of the victims was in her miitary uniform and was armed.

"Maybe try to understand WHY the ladies choose the bear instead of mansplaining why they shouldn't."

It would be easier to convince a Flat Earther that, in fact, the world is round.

It's not fear, fellas, it's just risk assessment.

As much as you would like to pretend there's an equivalent path for men and women in risk management, that's just foolishness and a failure to think logically or empathetically on your parts.

And, no, it's not because we don't live in the woods and don't understand bears.

Fellas...

Maybe try to understand WHY the ladies choose the bear instead of mansplaining why they shouldn't.

So far, I think A.I.'s answer was the best.

The bear. Because it works out for everyone involved.

Interesting question. Male perspective, with lots of years of Appalachian rural to country living under the belt. I cycle rail trails, alot, and I have, on more than a few occasions, encountered both bears and sketchy humans while on the trails. I do carry personal protective equipment, both pepper and the more permanent sort. Yes I am licensed and trained. I'll take the bear over the human any day. Bears are all dangerous, but they are predictable, and if you understand their nature, protective equipment is very very rarely needed. I have not resorted to such with any of my bear encounters so far. Humans are not nearly as predictable. You can tell pretty quick if a bear ain't right, humans not so much. A dangerous human can appear really tame, and a dangerous looking human can turn out to be no threat at all. Bear encounters most often occur at a distance, there's safety in distance. Human encounters are up close and generally within arms reach, allowing much less reaction time. Bear encounters are maybe a dozen per year, human encounters are often a dozen per mile, or more, especially on weekends. Aggressively dangerous bears are allways solo and sick/injured, or a mother with cubs, but then only if you come between her and the cubs, in which case her intent is to run you off. Once you've put distance between you and the cubs, her attention turns back to the cubs. Bears do not hunt humans, humans do hunt humans, and do so in packs. Humans on the hunt, will pursue you for as long as they believe they can catch you, or until you present them with adequate deterrence. So yeah, I feel safer with bear encounters than I do with humans. I will note here that my experience is limited to black bears. I do realize that there are species of bear that will take human prey, but I still stand by the predictability and understanding their nature as safety factors. In all my years, I still have not been able to understand the nature of some humans.

Victim blaming is a devaluing act where the victim of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment is held as wholly or partially responsible for the wrongful conduct committed against them.

@GGMM: you may have inadvertently hit on something though. If I take my personal experience and prospective out of the equation... you have a valid point. Most people live in cities. Most cities are complete shit holes. Especially when you get within 40 miles of an ocean or above a certain population density.

I have no day-to-day long term experience as an adult in these places & cannot relate to people who choose to live there. So, I'm actually not qualified to judge the question, because (in your case) there are probably more benign bears than good people.

@both of you: do women need to careful around EVERYONE? Yes. Do men need to be careful around EVERYONE? Yes. Does EVERYONE need to watch their ass? Yes. Do grown men worry about getting raped? Not usually. Do women worry about getting sucker punched in a bar and then stomped into a puddle, while the whole bar watches? IDK...

Do people suck? Yes. Act accordingly..

I bet y'all ask what someone was wearing and say things like "she was asking for it."

Victim blaming is a devaluing act where the victim of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment is held as wholly or partially responsible for the wrongful conduct committed against them.

" Connecting an injury received while sleeping ("using my imagination"* ) probably from a person you were in a relationship with to a random attack is a stretch."

For you, clearly, but I meant more broadly, like...oh, a lifetime of being careful around men. I mean, I'd happily break a bottle or grab a steak knife in a crowded bar, but I also wouldn't go out into the parking lot alone after, because not stupid, but my individual experience (I'd pick the man, because I'm pretty sure I could maim him sufficiently to get away, not so much with the bear) is not the same as a large percentage of the population that do their best to manage risk from another large sector of the population.

Not because of feminism or misandry (stupid term, btw) or a victim mentality, but because - as I keep pointing out - there's no way to differentiate the monsters from the normals. And because there's a through line from the guy who calls you a cunt because you won't let him buy you a drink or smile at him to the guy who rapes you because he can.

Self defense and guns? Great, but also akin to the security theatre of TSA. You feel safer and in some cases you are, but overall? Shit happens.

For all of the men arguing ooooh, pick the man, because reasons? Lovely, but you're missing the point of why women are overwhelmingly picking the bear. So maybe stop thinking with your feelings and see if you could possibly get a glimmer of understanding without the bullshit excuses.

The victim blaming and shaming continues.

If I hand you a bowl of M&Ms, and tell you only a few of the M&Ms are poisonous, are you having ANY M&Ms?

The fact that people are focused on self defense and they don't realize that's the entire fucking problem...

WHY should ANYBODY have to be prepared to defend themselves?? I thought everyone was sooooo safe????

What a lot of men and pick-me women are missing is that bears usually don't give a fuck about your existence. They would much rather leave you alone. And more to the point, a bear will NEVER try to sexually assault anybody.

Why am I not surprised that the swing community is chock full of people who don't understand consent?

@LA: if Mrs LA felt threatened, I'm sure she could kick a MF in the balls pretty quick.