<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I see Mrs. Wayne is no longer in Wayne's default photo."</span><br />
<br />
Right after I set that picture, I received this opening message from someone: "<span style="font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">make sure she’s tied and blindfolded when we arrive". So I changed it back. :)</span></p>
Forgot to add- don't flush the toilet and leave the lid up.
I see Mrs. Wayne is no longer in Wayne's default photo.
That should cut down on people asking to meet up with you. You could cut down even more by posting a a nude selfie of you holding a fish in front of the mirror in a messy bathroom as your default. It might take awhile to get it approved though.
Hope this helps.
I'm with you Melvin. I reply to everyone, even if it's to say no thanks. If someone's a jerk then just block them and move on.
Agreed!
I had a couple politely say to me on Friday night that they were not interested in me and wished me well, in regards to a message I sent on Wednesday about a Hot Date later on this month. That is respectable. To be up front and just politely say 'no,' earns that couple a feather in my cap. I politely responded back and said 'thank you for their response & best of luck in their searches.'
It takes very little effort to be be polite, instead of blowing people off.
Sad but true
"To me it's just common courtesy."
Common courtesy, like common sense, is nowhere near as common as it's name implies.
Expecting everyone to be polite on the internet might be an unrealistic expectation.
"It could also be that you met all of their requirements, but they found someone before you contacted them."
Of course. But then the polite thing to do is to take down your hot date and let people who responded know that they aren't looking anymore. To me it's just common courtesy. I mean you are asking people to respond and I would think you want people who respond to actually save the date so that if you are interested they are still available. So people save the date, reach out to you and then never hear back. I just can't imagine doing that to people.
<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Has anyone ever blocked you?"</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I'm sure there are quite a few people who would have liked to block me, but you cannot block a staff member profile. If you view my profile, you should see that no block icon is shown. I would not be able to easily help members or enforce policies if people could block me.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">"</span><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">BTW, Mrs. Wayne is hot, so I'm pretty sure the people trying to hook up with you are more interested in her than they are with you."</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Yes, I know you are right about that. </span></p>
OK Wayne, I wasn't expecting a response to that post so now I gotta ask...
Has anyone ever blocked you?
BTW, Mrs. Wayne is hot, so I'm pretty sure the people trying to hook up with you are more interested in her than they are with you. They only want you to get busy with their issues on the site while they're busy in Mrs. Wayne's panties.
It could also be that you met all of their requirements, but they found someone before you contacted them.
That reminded me of when we could choose what profile pic to attach to our forum replies.
<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Usually? So, you have blocked some dumbasses. Or maybe they blocked you..."</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">No, I never block any profiles. Sometimes I still respond to people. </span></p>
"I usually just don't respond to it."
Usually? So, you have blocked some dumbasses. Or maybe they blocked you...
<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">It's the not sending a no thank you I don't understand."</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I think because there is nothing in it for them to do so. That answer is based on my own experiences.</span></p>
<p>As a staff member here, I still get messages from members from time to time with an interest in meeting me (especially if I use this picture of my wife and I for my default picture). I don't meet people from the site, so I used to politely respond and let them know that. A certain percentage of them will follow up with other questions or small talk. Now, if I want to continue to be polite, I have to keep responding and talking to them. And those conversations can go on for days. I don't always have time for that and it can be awkward. So at this point, if someone sends me a message wanting to meet with me/us, I usually just don't respond to it.</p>
And I also get that some guys respond with anger when rejected which taints things for everyone.
@wayne - People may not always put all their criteria in their profile text. There may be something else that they did not mention that makes it a "no". It could also just boil down to how you look. People can't easily put that into words. You may meet all their basic stats, but just not "look" like what they are attracted to.
Of course I understand that. It's the not sending a no thank you I don't understand.
I agree with Travelers... and for "us" we get IM s weekly from real young guys, BI guys, folks with not one photo but want to meet, guys pleading to meet.. etc etc .. we can go on a long time.
We usually respond thanks not a match.. also did you really read our profile we stick to what we have written! Have a great journey.. and just this week was answered with "aren't you a f.. ing nice guy!"... Thats an instant block!
On Wayne's "oh yeah your wife is a skank anyway" comment. Not here on SLS, but on the old swappernet site that disappeared many years ago, we at one time said in our profile we are not Ken and Barbie. (I will say however, back then in our 30s, we were pretty fucking hot, especially her, despite the fact we are a couple of old, fat fuckers now.)
Anyway, some clown, 1,000 miles away who we had exactly zero ever contact with reads our profile and felt the need to send a note saying "she sure as hell ain't no fucking Barbie". My only regret is that I blocked the clown before sending him a nastygram - LOL.
@Wayne "I have dealt with countless complaints over the years of someone sending a polite "No thank you" and then they receive some rude response such as: "Oh yeah? Well your wife is a fat skank and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anyway!" Also, some people will start following up with more messages: "What can I do to change your mind?", "Can you give me advice to help me in the future?", "Can we just hang-out as friends and not worry about sex?" Some people just don't want to deal with all that, so they block or ignore."
In my experience, most couples just let a polite "not a match" reply drop with no comment. Most single males (again I said most) will reply with a "thanks for responding" which tells me that 90% of their emails are ignored. Yes we ignore plenty of SMs too, but if they are vaguely aligned to what we clearly state we seek in our profile, and they send a reasonable intro note (not "hey" or "sexy" or "wanna fuck"), then they do get a polite "no thanks" if still not a real match. The latter type notes get ignored the first time, then blocked the second time.
<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">even when you fit their criteria"</span></p>
<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">People may not always put all their criteria in their profile text. There may be something else that they did not mention that makes it a "no". It could also just boil down to how you look. People can't easily put that into words. You may meet all their basic stats, but just not "look" like what they are attracted to.</span></p>
<p>As far as people responding, even to politely tell you "no", the website has always taken the position that people should be polite and respond to your message that they are not interested. With that being said, I have worked here over 20 years now and my experiences have caused me to tone down my, "You should respond to all messages" viewpoint. I have dealt with countless complaints over the years of someone sending a polite "No thank you" and then they receive some rude response such as: "Oh yeah? Well your wife is a fat skank and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anyway!" Also, some people will start following up with more messages: "What can I do to change your mind?", "Can you give me advice to help me in the future?", "Can we just hang-out as friends and not worry about sex?" Some people just don't want to deal with all that, so they block or ignore.</p>
Melvin,
You bring up a great point, that if someone doesn't bother to respond to a message about their hot date, even when you fit their criteria, they are likely not someone I would want to hang out with in real life. Communication is important to me, even if that's sending a polite "no thank you". It takes 5 seconds to respond, if I'm not worth that to them then they aren't likely people I would want to hang out with in real life.
Bridge,
I'm not upset at all. I'm just curious others thoughts on posting a hot date and then not replying to people. I've reached out to 4 hot dates in my area where I met their criteria. I got 1 response on one, and no response on the other 3 (and no views of my profile by them that I could see). I personally could not imagine posting a hot date and then not responding to people to let them know you aren't interested so that they can go make other plans. I wouldn't want them waiting unsure if I read their message and would reply later. Better to let them know up front so they can move on.
So I guess I'm more curious about others people's interactions and if no response to a hot date inquiry is the norm. Sounds like it is.
LMK, as always I appreciate your insight and comments.
Be well everyone and enjoy the full moon tonight!
To BT’s point, there is no difference in etiquette between responding (or not) to a Hot Date versus a normal, run-of-the-mill, intro post.
Unless you’re asking what’s the etiquette if you’ve posted a Hot Date, someone responds, and you’re not interested in them. Then the response remains the same as if someone messages you through normal channels and you’re not interested. “Thank you for responding. I don’t think we’re a good fit. I wish you all the best.” Or something similar.
I’ve posted and have gotten no response and have posted and gotten responses. I’ve looked at some and not reached out, and have responded and had success in meeting some fantastic people.
So there no one-size-fits-all approach. The only constant is to be polite (as I know you are) and hope for the best. As he said, there are many avenues to meeting folks. That’s just one. Sometimes it works (like the others), sometimes it doesn’t.
Now, all that said, I will say I’ve had more success with that feature when I travel. I feel like oftentimes, the same geographic area can get stale. You see the same folks over and over. When I change my geographic location, I become someone new and can get more interest. Just my experience.
~LMK~
