Fakes and flakes

Fakes and flakes.... that's the bulk of sls. Lotsa big talkers. Very few doers.

I guess we have been lucky because we have never been stood up. when we first came on sls we met people at restaurants or bars, and if we clicked we played. some we have met again, some not. mostly lately (well, before covid) we met people at parties, clubs, or hedo. we find that easier, because if you don't click with someone, you can move on to someone else

F'ing annoying that we constantly have to check if a playmate is still on for a playdate. Ugh!

Having the same issue. At one point we thought this site was more fruitful with more serious people than one of the other leading ones we belonged to but the past few years it seems to have caught up to be even in terms of flakes and fakes. It's very frustrating when you're the type of person that tries to understand why people do the things they do.

Why send a message if you're not going to respond when you get a reply?
Why ask to take the conversation somewhere else if you're not going to talk?
Why ask what date is good to meet up if you're not going to confirm the date given?

Mindboggling.

You're exactly right Mayhem, the politics thread is just insane and it's unfortunate spill over into other threads. Pretty strange for a site that's intended for sex. I guess people have been locked down for too long. At least here in the wasteland known as sw VA, we've been able to carry on with our playtime :)

“ Rejoined mainly to read the forums- which seem to be spiraling out of control.”

Actually, the forums are beginning to pull out of the inverted flat spin they had been in leading up to the election. We still have a long way to go before we are flying straight and level, but we are doing better than before.

"Rejoined mainly to read the forums- which seem to be spiraling out of control."

That's funny ;-) I'm guessing you read the Politics thread, which I mostly stay out of.

As for meeting people, we have met some people through here but the main value in SLS (for us anyway) is knowing when/where the local LS parties are, once things get safer of course.

These days, since we can host, if it's a couple and they sound mostly sane, I just have them meet us at our house. We usually do snacks or dinner/drinks. It's safer, we can talk openly/freely, less expensive (dinner/drinks out is easily $60-$100), AND we can actually play if everyone is so inclined. If someone no-shows, we've never even left the house. The people meeting us are guaranteed that we're not going to no-show as well.

So far, we've not run into any whack jobs, but it's not like we're meeting a lot of people this way either. We've meet the vast majority of people we know at local LS parties.

Same here. We had a profile on here before met a few, mainly one and done. Haven't met anyone since rejoining, have had several no shows. Rejoined mainly to read the forums- which seem to be spiraling out of control.

We get hit up by flakes a lot, all single guys but get half-assed chats from couples too. Our time is limited so to avoid being stood up again we found scheduling a video call with prospective play partners helps. It helps to get to know them because we don't have time for dinner and drinks and if they can't be on the scheduled call at the agreed time, even after a reminder, then we don't expect them to show up for a play date so AMF!

This has been a common refrain since I have been here, which is creeping up on 14 years now...

JulieCliff - I just mentioned this in another thread, but the value we get from SLS is in knowing what LS parties are where and when. Once things get safer, LS parties definitely make it a lot more productive, minimizes the fakes (there could still be cheating SMs), and completely eliminates the flakes.

Even if you plan to meet someone at a LS party, there are going to be others there as well, so it's less of an issue if you don't click or they don't show. If it's an on-prem party, you can even play right there in the event neither of you can host.

<p><a href="https://www.swinglifestyle.com/profile/lookup.cfm?usercode=61783695">dragonrapide</a>,</p>

<p>SLS had free members since day one. We removed most of their access after FOSTA and during the pandemic, we gave some access back. Most of that has been removed again now. You can also go to "Tools" and "Privacy Features" and hide your profile from free members. Also, I do not see that you have a group here on SLS, so you are not supposed to be promoting parties here. If you have an occasional house party, you can post it as a hot date and hide from free members and they will not be a problem for you.</p>

Travelers. I too agree with you. When I joined I thought this was the shinning light of sexual freedom but it has become anything but. My Lady and I went (and still go) out of our way to be the best host we can be, but we have folks saying that they are coming to a party where wine and food is served and the place is clean but they talk the talk but fail to walk the walk. Since SLS started this 'free member' crap, it has gone down hill and no matter how I and others (who paid to become life members) complain to Wayne and others, it does no good. It's like a slap in the face when you're made to feel like third best AND you paid!

When Craigslist stopped the adult section and SLS opened up more to non-paying members, this place went downhill quickly with flakes.

Sorry I don't have a better answer for you to fix it, but your observation is correct and it is what it is.

We keep getting fakes and flakes, I know every site has them, but it seems as if SLS is infested!