The build up

The build up, then the let down. We were invited to a New Years Eve house party in Hudson, Colorado about 5-6 years ago. The house in the country was a perfect layout for partying, There should have been many more parties there year round. Problem, the locals were there dress like they just got off work. Even a couple of guys not having shoes on. Yes, January weather. We watched a three sum, two guys and a gal. We couldn't get into it there, and left.

Wife and I attended a couples party overseas years ago. About 10 couples, and a nice apartment near our hotel. Everyone spoke a little english but we could only muster a few words of their native language. Needless to say, the conversation was limited to begin with. When it came to everyone piling into the one bedroom, it was lights out and a free for all. Two men went for my wife about the moment we entered the room. Sort of like from 0 to 60 in two seconds. Yeah, it was a bit much.

Robin and I have been doing this for 14 years. Our individual body counts are way over 100 for that period. There were times, at certain infamous house parties in Central Ohio, we each fucked 4 or 5 different people in one night. For me, those women have ranged in age from 21 to 60, and body types from Barbie to BBW. These days, hot isn't enough. I've fucked women just because they were hot to me, and that isn't enough anymore. I have to LIKE and have some level of mental and emotional connection to enjoy sex with a woman now, and that doesn't happen quickly. Hot isn't enough, but also conversely, hot isn't required if I like the woman and have the mental and emotional connection. This generally happens by chance at swinger clubs and parties, because I'm very social in those environments. I meet and talk to a lot of people. When there's a spark of a connection, I pursue it a little more, and then sometimes it works out, and these days that's what I want. Being in an orgy where you literally roll from one body to the next was fun for a while, but not anymore.

FUNLYFRIEND,

I think a “bone smuggler” is a man who dresses in women’s clothes......a crossdresser(?). Not very funny, really.
— SLO

I don't know anybody who wants someone to just walk in, strip, and insert your dick. Maybe you need to find better matches?

what is bone smuggler?

2gingers4playtime I have yet to met a guy that pretty much does not get hard if the wind blows (assuming he can get hard). BTW that is actually an exaggeration but it makes the point. Women can range anywhere from ready to go now to maybe sometime this week. Once again exaggerating. There is a big difference between the sexes, desire, and amount of foreplay needed to start having sex. Oh and that is what we are talking about here having sex not taking long moonlit walks with someone you are in an emotional relationship with. I agree people want different things but in general swinging is about sex and what you seem to be describing is more polyamory or romantic relationships with more than one partner. Most of us do not want the sexual partner or partners we enjoy having sex with to form that emotional attachment.

Okay a lot depends on the definition of "foreplay". Are we talking the long mental game build up or getting naked then starting with fondling and oral? Neither of us are into head games with others we just want to get down to it when the time comes (dinner etc is nice before hand). Pretty much when it comes to sex with others we want to get on to the main attraction as it were. Now that does not mean 0-fucking in 2 seconds but 0-hands on and getting naked in 2 seconds work (btw it does take longer but I'm making a point). Of course it also depends on her mood and what she wants. Me I'm a guy and naked bodies ready to go is all I need. For her she just may want to get fucked, not cum just fuck, so being naked means she is ready. Other times she may want to play around use toys and cum multiple times either while or (typically) after being fucked. Both are something she enjoys along with everything in-between. The big difference in the "foreplay" aspect is those times she wants to cum she has been reading a book, fantasizing, etc long before we even meet up with others. Sometimes she even played with herself on the drive over setting things up for the orgasm(s). In other words she has taken care of her own foreplay and is ready to go.

Of course when going to a club or party what happens during the evening can set her mood. Recently (the past couple years) she has taken to enjoying watching some (at times even more than me) and it can get her wanting an orgasm when her original mood heading in was just wanting to fuck. I think it is due to our previous club experiences you felt more like a "perv" watching as it was done beside the bed, couch, or wherever versus now we go to a place with a "fishbowl" room with windows offering a "separation" between participants who you know want to show off and watchers. BTW this is near the bathrooms and more than once I have gone into the bathroom only to find her at a window watching then not wanting to leave for a bit. Oh and the summer pool parties with some nudity and skimpy bathing suits during the afternoon also seem to have this effect although frequently she is still just in the "I want fucked mood" versus the "I want orgasm(s)" watching brings out.

When we meet with a new person or couple my wife has usually had conversation with them that usually will get rather hot and she will know right then if the person is someone she wants. That being said if the connection is there then once we meet and the chemistry is still good it usually will only take a few minutes of being together in a bedroom for us all to get naked and get down to business. She is usually the one on her knees first although there have been times when the guy will have his face buried in her pussy right away.

When I go to visit a couple, I go directly to the wife and give her a long passionate kiss. She’ll always come up from that with a big smile. I pay a lot of attention to her, But, I also talk to her and I know when she is ready, especially when/if she looks at her husband. When she smiles, and fondles my cock through my pants, we both know she’s ready, and it’s not difficult to get naked and get started. I always ask her husband to get naked, too. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t.

I find the anticipation is in itself a turn on. There has to be a reciprocal response from those involved. A one way street is no fun. Wham bam, thank you mam, should not be in the lifestyle. Unless all are on the same page. My thoughts

I find the anticipation is in itself a turn on. There has to be a reciprocal response from those involved. A one way street is no fun. Wham bam, thank you mam, should not be in the lifestyle. Unless all are on the same page. My thoughts

Also, I thought fucking was foreplay

Totally depends on the situation, but for me usually it’s 0-60 in 2 seconds flat (and 60 to flat in another 2 seconds).

For my wife, the warm up might takes hours, but the longer on ramp, the longer the ride.

So who finds it hard to get aroused just walking into a room and it’s just let’s fuck? No foreplay, no real build up just strip down and have sex that is not sexy at all. No ED problems but if I am not horny or excited about it all the pills in the world are not gonna help.