What to look out for .

Welcome to the forums, HappyCTCouple.

The one thing that I would encourage you to do more than anything else is to focus your efforts on live events/venues rather than online communicating.

The former will produce more consistent results than will the latter ever will, IMV.

While I don’t disagree with anything MsMolly said in her reply, I will say that restricting communication 100% to SLS until after an actual meeting does not come without liabilities.

SLS routinely goes down without warning, and historically this happens often on or near the weekend. This can be very frustrating if you’re scheduled to meet with someone and something unexpected happens to one of you.

Lady and I no longer look to arrange meetings through online sites, but when we did, we would not agree to meet someone without having a way to communicate apart from SLS.

There are many ways to do that in a safe way that does not place you or your identity at risk.

Teamp

Now goodgollly blocked me. Lighten up, enjoy, life is only a game.

My name isn't Molly. However, I deliberately chose a profile name that had an actual name in it so that I'd have a polite way to end a negative response.

I actually don't care if people have photos or not, since I can't tell if I'll be attracted or not based on photos. If I'm potentially interested, I also don't exchange more than a few emails before suggesting we meet for coffee (my preference) or a drink. And I don't follow up in any way. If there's any fakery involved, people usually evaporate at this point.

I do not kik, send photos to outside emails, give out my phone number, or communicate in any way other than through SLS until after we've met and decided we want to play. People who want those things are too high maintenance for me, plus it keeps the dick pics to a minimum. YMMV, but probably won't.

One of the most valuable aspects of SLS is finding out about meet and greets and group events. I can't begin to stress strongly enough that while it is great meeting people first on line, it's even better developing ties within your local swinger community.

Be open to new things, but don't make decisions in the heat of the moment. This is one of those areas where "eh, I wish I'd done x after all" is a way better option than "dammit, I can't believe I did that."

Check the LS Lessons I've Learned thread here in Getting Started.

Be willing to change your mind about what you actually want.

There will be shit that goes wrong. That's when you have the opportunity to strengthen your relationship even more, when you deal with it by communicating and by trusting each other.

Make it fun.

Great advice, we’ll get working on it! Keep’m coming!

Welcome to the fora!

We're relatively new ourselves but here are some things we've learned either through experience or here on the fora.

Having current pics of both of you is important. You don't need to include faces or nudes but have some that represent what you look like today.

We like to meet for drinks first in a public place. This allows us to get to know them a little in an atmosphere where we can leave at any time. We couldn't imagine being stuck at a dinner table with folks we don't click with.

We insist on face pics before a meet. We like to know who we're chatting with and eventually meeting.

We find being open and transparent with folks is appreciated as long as you're polite and respectful.

Same goes, even more so, with your partner. Communicate communicate, communicate.

You only need to do what you're comfortable doing and what makes you happy. Don't let anyone, even your partner, pressure you into doing anything you don't want to.

We've also learned that probably not can easily turn into hell yes once you meet folks. For us, an upbeat personality is very attractive.

Get out and meet folks. There are some amazing people out there. Be fun, engaging, honest and you'll have a blast.

Post a request for a profile review in the better profiles forum. Some great, blunt advice is available there. Be ready tho... folks there are brutally honest. Take it as constructive criticism and have thick skin and you'll be fine.

Most important, just be yourselves. You'll find folks you click with. Might take some searching but it will happen.

We use our real names but a cover location a few miles away from our small hometown.

Oh... and if you ever get to Jersey let us know.

Hi! New to the swinger seen and curious about previous experiences and what to look out for when meeting people online? Do you share your real names? Do you have any suggestions for the "Do's and Don'ts"?