I think just the opposite will happen. It actually helped me gain confidence. Knowing that my husband felt like he wanted me to be seen by others was a confidence boost and turn on. You only have to do, see or take off what you want at these types of things. We find that parties are not about what you look at, it's a sensual sexual vibe. There are so many different people, bodies, and things to do, you'll fit right in. Everyone finds something different sexy. My husband likes mom bodies with a beautiful face and sensual actions. That's me. When I got that..all inhibitions changed. I feel good because I realize he's proud of the way I look and likes when others see me. We are married 35 years. I lost a lot of weight and have a mom body for sure. But swinging has given us a confidence we never had and only makes us appreciate each other more. Btw, you look really hot in that Jean skirt! Good luck. If you are anything like us, you'll be so nervous you'll want to turn around and go home before you even get there but we pushed ourselves. It's also not an instant success. We went slowly and have found meeting new friends and have fun with each each other just watching at first lead to us eventually feeling like participating but it definitely didn't happen right away. Sorry this is so long but I really understood how you felt on your original post.
Newbie Confidence
There is someone for everyone! I like women with weight, and there are a lot of women that likes a man with (or having lost) weight. There is also watching, soft swap, etc. Just relax and enjoy yourselves first and wait for others to hit you up based on the confidence you show!
there will always be people skinnier, prettier, better at things, etc. but also people bigger, not as pretty, and not as good at things. look for meet and greets or parties in your area, and look at the pictures of people attending. that way you can get an idea of the ones you want to attend. (btw~ congrats to your husband. we both recently lost a lot of weight too)
Doing anything new can be scary and create nervous feelings. Swinging is no different.
Our advice, go with zero expectations and see how it goes. You'll find that phoeberts wife is right, swingers come in all shapes and sizes. You'll find your not the hottest people there. Nor will you be the least hot.
Be friendly and outgoing and everything will work itself out.
Congrats on the weight loss!
Unless it is a party where you are required to be nude from the minute you walk in the door, then it will be like any non-lifestyle party as far as getting to know people and deciding if you have anything in common. Swingers come in all shapes and sizes - you will fit right in. Just be you usual charming, lovable selves.
Good luck and have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
We are new to the lifestyle. In fact we’re attending our first party in a couple of weeks which will be our first experience. My husband recently lost A LOT of weight (418lbs down to 230lbs), and I’ve got the usual mom bod. Because of this our confidence that others will find us attractive is diminished. Has anyone else experienced this when first starting and if so how did you overcome it?