Been away for a while getting started again

"We have enjoyed some time with couples some time ago, its been close to 8 years. While we don't really consider ourselves newbies, as we have an idea on expectations and what we are comfortable with. We took some time away to focus on our careers and finish our education. Now that our children are all grown, and out doing their own thing it is time for us to reconnect. Being away from the lifestyle for so many years we are just not sure where to start again. Our first step was to join here as lifetime members, were free members before. But we are looking for guidance on should we try out some of the local clubs? Look into local house parties? Or just let time and nature take its course and see what interest we receive from our profile? We do not consider ourselves as hardcore swingers, but do enjoy the company of another couple. We have talked at length about what each of us are looking for, and just lost as to where to turn next.

Thank You"

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes again, and yes. Fear is the mind killer. If you want it, FFS try it! There are all kinds of things I've tried that I am openly against now, and very judgemental about. There's a long disgusting list, with some items that would shock most readers of this forum, of things I've done ONCE!! Twice, a few times. STFU!!!

"Don't dream it, be it."

Dr. Frankenfurter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

I was going to say it might be nice to meet some house party hosts 2 on 2 and see what you think first. They should be able to answer any questions/concerns you have and they will likely have a few questions for you too.

Being that we have our own house parties it's very rare for us to invite someone we've not met in person first. At a minimum we'd want to feel reasonably sure that they'd be comfortable, and during a party is NOT the time to find that out. It's no fun for them or us if that's not the case. Of course we'd want to make sure they're not a whack job too, and I'm sure vice versa...lol

We personally have different levels of parties because not all of our LS friends are at the same "play grade" ;-) Something else you may want to inquire about for local house parties if/when talking to the hosts, but if the party has an open invitation then some amount of that may be beyond the hosts control.

Thanks again for all the advice and information. We were over in Orlando for a Disney day last week and decided to drop by and check out Secrets in Kissimmee. They had a pool party going on so we didn't get to see much of the resort, but are definitely planning a trip back to stay for the weekend, as it looked interesting. We are also going to book a spa day at Caliente. My wife has been wanting a spa day and we figured why not combine it with a say at the resort. While we are looking at more time at venues such as these, we are still a little hesitant on the house party invites we receive. We have had a few nice emails from other couples here and are planning on meeting one couple so far, just timing issues from all parties at the moment.

hey Kids, You are in the swing capitol of the world. Florida has a lot to offer in your area. I miss it there. Just be true to yourself and you will attract the right people. You live right next to many venues, clubs, resorts etc...

Good luck

Plato

If you do a house party you may want to see if private rooms to play in are available. Even some experienced people are uncomfortable with public sex. If not, you'll probably want to pass.

Some amount of acceptance with going to a party strictly to socialize will depend on the motivation for the party. If the motive is to make a buck then the hosts will probably tend to care less since they have your money whether you play or not.

All very good information, thank you all again. We are planning to go to one of or several of the local resorts and clubs to check them out. We have been invited to some newbie meet and greets but a little unsure of the house party settings.

"The Notes feature can be seen when viewing a profile and only you can see your notes."

Only you can see your notes- until they block you. Best to keep a spreadsheet so you know how to stalk those blocking bastards.

One of the things not mentioned that I find useful is the Notes feature. For example, if I reach out to someone and get nothing back I'll make a note so that I don't do that again. I also use it to keep track of names of people where there was interest.

The Notes feature can be seen when viewing a profile and only you can see your notes.

Our experience as an average couple is that maybe 1 in 10 online interactions wind up in an actual meeting, and of those it's slightly better than even odds that we'll all click.

I second the parties idea or even just meet and greets to start. In the end, making friends ln the LS is pretty much the same as making friends anywhere.

I would tend to avoid approaching vanilla people for LS activity. Not saying it can't work, but if discretion is a concern then there could be more risks.

I would probably avoid hotel room parties (not to be confused with hotel take-overs) for now. These tend to be small intimate parties with limited space and everyone lnows if you've played, or not. Though it may seem counter intuitive, the bigger the party the easier it is to blend in.

Thank you for picking up on the profile picture, to be honest I never really noticed it myself.

Rock, have not even tried setting up another gallery yet. We dont usually keep any pictures online that we would not post to any other social media site. Seen too many times photos ended up posted elsewhere and not by the owners of the images. I do understand the locked galleries, but still think its MUCH better to see in person myself.

same here...we cant even get our galleries set up correct...it has been a while...lol

NJNY, thank you. We are planning a trip to the local resort in Orlando for the weekend. Since we are Disney pass-holders, we can always spend some time at the parks, and as recommended check out the resort features of the couples resort. We are most excited about the fact of no children allowed at the resort. So we are planning some time at the pool for sure. From there we will see what we like and dont like, as we are approaching this with no expectations other than a weekend away.

Thank you both. Was just curious as to how some of the features worked, as before this we were free members with very limited access.

"It can be frustrating or a lot of fun."

I couldn't agree more.

There is a bit of confusion on views vs. interest. If someone looks at your profile multiple times then they may be slightly interested. Keep in mind though that there are many people who are on in that are simply recreationally looking through profiles. Those are fine and if they keep looking take it as a compliment. If you are curious go ahead and send a message. Just be kind and courteous and await a response and don't get bummed out if there isn't one. Some people don't respond because they only respond if they are interested and some don't respond because they don't play. Then just be ready to filter the interest that you receive. We have found that after we vet someone via video chat or another means and they seem interested about 1 out of 5 will actually work out. Those odds, if you compound it with non-responses, aren't really to high, but if you know what to expect with online communication it isn't too bad. It can be frustrating or a lot of fun.

Fred Tammy, welcome to the forums...and welcome back to the Matrix (lifestyle)!

Regarding your first question, the visits you see on your Who Viewed Me list mean very little. If someone has looked at your profile but not reached out (email), they either didn't find anything that specifically interested them or they have some other reason for not contacting you.

I've heard some people say that they will open their face pics if they see a profile that interested them. So, you could do that or, if you check them out and their pics have been opened already, it may mean some interest.

You could start emailing people that have seen your profile, but I don't recommend it.

Concerning your question about the Friends feature, that is solely for your use. It doesn't in any way notify the other party, and you can use it to keep up with when a given profile is online or otherwise to make it easier to find them in your list. You can remove a profile from your Friends list easily, and again, the party is not notified in any way.

Holly, thank you. Just curious is there as way to find out if the couples looking at our profile have any interest other than getting mail from them? Also how does the adding friends work? Is it something that is done after talking to the couple? Or if you know them already?

Yes! To what you all have self-suggested. Definitely check out the local clubs and parties. Meeting real people is always encouraging. With most of your online communication keep in mind there are fakes and flakes of various stripes. Have some way to verify the identity of the people you are messaging. We prefer video chat to see that they are who they say they are and have an initial conversation. Some people are terrible at typing and texting and you may not get a good idea of who they are until you get to talk to them. We've had a few that were texting duds that turned out to be amazing... You all have written a good profile and it should server you all well. You may want to also click on the the hot date tab and post up a hot date and see what kind of responses you all get. Good luck.

We have enjoyed some time with couples some time ago, its been close to 8 years. While we don't really consider ourselves newbies, as we have an idea on expectations and what we are comfortable with. We took some time away to focus on our careers and finish our education. Now that our children are all grown, and out doing their own thing it is time for us to reconnect. Being away from the lifestyle for so many years we are just not sure where to start again. Our first step was to join here as lifetime members, were free members before. But we are looking for guidance on should we try out some of the local clubs? Look into local house parties? Or just let time and nature take its course and see what interest we receive from our profile? We do not consider ourselves as hardcore swingers, but do enjoy the company of another couple. We have talked at length about what each of us are looking for, and just lost as to where to turn next.

Thank You