Why so many flakes

I agree with @April73 I don't want a life story over the phone, but I do want to is, make sure all are on the same page.. Not a lot to ask for.. XOXOXO Rosie

If a wife has no interest in chatting a bit with me than that’s not a couple I’m going to choose to be with.

@E&B I see what you are saying, I don't want to gab for hours, but it just seems funny that when all I want to do is for all 4 of us to be on the same page.. And then get ghosted. IDK, I like chatting in person and all that, but we have been on one date where the wife had NO IDEA , who we where or why there were even there.... Needless to say it ended bad for them , so that's why all I want to do is say hi , and we hope to see them soon, That's not too much to ask..

Funcouple209Swingercpl613,

You've been on here for about 2 1/2 years, and you have 13 certs. You're doing better than most.

(Re-posting bc I don't like errors)

Extremely rude, yes.

IMO there is no rhyme or reason. I have experienced both - couples and SFs who have not showed up. And you never really know who is for real no matter how much communication takes place prior, until you actually meet and get to know someone. I know life happens, but if you make a commitment you should keep it unless something really happens. If so, letting the person know ahead of time would be nice. Not showing up and ghosting, not so much...

"and that's all I have to say about that"

Well there is also another favorite of ours besides FAKES & FLAKES !! When they message us, I do most of the answering because hubby is working. I start to chat with them, and all seems to be going good. then they ask for my KIK name. Then I ask if the wife has a KIK account , they say NO ( ok getting suspicious now ) Then I ask if I can VV with the wife, like a magic POOOOFFFF PRESTO they disappear !! I can honestly say we have never been stood up, and If we ever were at least we can still make a night of it. We also NEVER have flaked out on anyone. We think that wasting peoples time is EXTREMELY rude.. XOXOXO Rosie

Well as a guy, I can say if a date is made and time set I will show up, never a no show. But that said there are 100 reasons why the women or couple can't make it. I would bet for couples husband wants to share the wife and she knows nothing about it. Even to find a 3rd for a MFM fantasy is like herding cats, all talk and scared too. But that's the web site way. Even a hello but no thanks has become a welcome answer! SAD

Yes, exactly.

Because I am in a rural area and the men that are coming to meet me are generally driving a couple hours I prefer to get to know them a bit online first so neither one of us is wasting our time.
I would never give out my address but I do have a Google voice number that I use once I find someone that I am interested in getting to know.
I'm still fairly new but I've never flaked on someone and never had someone flake on an actual meeting because I take the time to get to know them first. I let them flake out online :) - that way neither one of us has to be stood up.

Unless you are in or or on your way to the hospital, it is rude to not show up for a date. Most people's time is limited so it is considerate to show up as planned. As far as the reasons, they range from not caring to deciding they want to do something else. It comes down to bad manners. I'm not perfect but if I make a date, I will be there..

As a single guy, I think a lot of it is the "eyes bigger than your stomach" sort of thing. When you are horny an watching a lot of porn, all of this sounds great, but when the reality finally presents itself and you are facing meeting a couple alone, it seems a bit tougher to to do. I chickened out early in my foray into this, though I canceled instead of no showing. Later, I more than overcame all of that and have been around for a long time.

I'm with HollyBlue. The only way I can really get to know anyone is in person. There's too much information missing in every other method of communication, so it's just a waste of my time. I've also noted there's an inverse relationship between the amount of time people want to faff around in email and whether we ever meet.

I don't give out my phone number to people I haven't met and asking for my address ahead of time would get you blocked.

HolyBlue I feel the same way. I’m not giving my cell to anyone anymore or using KIK or anything besides SLS until after I meet them, and maybe not even then. I’m also not chatting as much prior to a first meet or without seeing a face pic. I’m new but I’m learning quickly that for me this is not going to work if I have to spend extended hours texting. I’ve done that and then on the first meet realize they are nothing like the photos OR people have just jerked me around and changed plans at the last minute or canceled. I like just meeting for a drink, not even dinner... if we are having a drink and like each other then we can extend that to something more. It just makes the most sense to me this way but I find the different ideas such as Serendipities interesting, thanks for sharing that.

Serendipity, it seems like you may have it backwards. Many flakes will chat and chat and chat and chat and chat and then never meet. When a couple tells you that they aren't into "endless chatting" it means that they prefer to exchange a few messages and then meet if everything seems good. The objective is to meet. The fantasy folks are more than content to let messages drag on for as long as you will let it. By dismissing people who have put that vetting statement in their profiles you have summarily eliminated some of the people you are looking for.

Giving out your phone number is bad because there are people on here and other sites fishing for phone numbers. There is also a lot of personal information that you yield to a complete stranger with a phone number. Demanding a physical address or giving your own is extremely dangerous and naive. Discretion is highly valued by most in the LS and coming out and demanding that an individual or couple relinquish that comes across poorly. That is why public places, hotels, etc. are often used for first meetings. You have no idea who you are meeting and you put yourself at risk and are asking others to put themselves at risk. Asking someone to meet at a club is good because you still have people to interact with if they indeed do flake out.

There are many other ways to vet people to know that they are real. Proof of life photos or just meeting in the SLS chat room are pretty simple and common. The upshot to video chat is you can have a real conversation and see what the other party looks like before deciding to move forward.

Sadly we think that probably 60% of this is fantasy for most. Next more sadly, many people lack character and integrity. We shy away from people who say' 'No long emails or phone calls lets just meet for drinks. We look fort red flags in wording and we don't meet anyone until we have their cell number and won't agree to play with anyone if we don't have their physical address.

If they don't want to take the time to get to know us they won't have time to meet us either. Also this, if someone acts like they are hiding something then they are hiding something. It weeds out almost all of the fantasize-rs.

" It just works for us. " That is the most important thing. Find what works for you and stick with what you are comphy whith

Allspice, seems like we have all felt the pain of old pictures vs. reality. Typically, most couples we have talked to who do it feel it is OK because it is still them, everyone else does it, and they will draw you in with their winsome personalities. Ironically, it is the same people who have also been quick to accuse us of fake or old pictures. We have quite a few flake out when we ask to vid chat premeeting to see if they are legit.

HollyBlue yes pretty much true on meeting first. We prefer to meet first before anything. After swinging a few years we've learned that many pictures are not current. We for the most part can see that pictures shown, age posted, etc do not match and a real kick in the ass is seeing them in person and having that WTF attack....lol.
That is nothing more than a total waste of time for us.....for them it's a chance they feel is worth taking. Many feel because they've gone that far to meet that play will happen because your all there ad there's nothing else to do.

TRUST US, IF OTH COUPLES ARE SO HOT FOR EACH OTHER, THEY PLAY WILL HAPPEN THAT SAME DAY or RIGHT ON THE SPOT.

When we post on hot dates for meet and greet the day before, we'll get messages, kik or phone text chat for the entire time till the pictures start coming in. Now our pictures are as current as possible, full body and because we use a date stamp camera or to prove how current they are we'll send pics of an event held on such dates with the stamped pic. I clearly tell them this is our pics and current as you can see, full body, no head or shots from the chest up as many do. And till the picture thing all messages stop and never to be heard from again.

He's an example of how old I've ha pics sent to me...….. CRT computers monitors have been seen in how many years would you say? Over 20 years..... yet last year 2017, I got pics sent to me which have been stated to be current pictures. Now before the pics we chatted for like 9 days..... Only till the point of pic swapping and asking the guy for current pics, his reply was,,"Well yeah, our pics are a little out dated and we need to post new ones". To this very day they are still using the same old pics!! NEVER CHATTED AGAIN!

There are many on these sites who never have any intention of meeting. They may have fake profile or it just might be one member of the couple. Just be thankful you avoided the dreaded meeting when the wife of the couple you meet finds out when you meet why she is meeting you. If it is a couple try and chat with both of them either on Kik or video chat. Be sure that both of them are on the same page especially if they have no or old certs. There are some people who expect to go straight to a hotel or house and will never meet in public. They may abandon you once they find out you want to meet before playing.

Funcouple, I notice that you have 12 certs in your 27 months of membership here. I presume (maybe incorrectly) that you are having some successes that do not result in certs. If you are experiencing the 1 in 10 ratio that you mention, you must be making a date for about every third day....just kidding on the "every third day", but you get the gist.

BTW, also notice that you are listed at Paradise, CA. I assume that you must have survived the fires there??

Why do so many people make dates and then not show up? Maybe 1 out of 10 show up