So What Exactly Is A Select Male?

^^^what MLM said, select merely means the ones they select as a match.

Black or white, tall or short, hung or average, bare or condoms, whatever fits their own category of "select" in a SM.

We just think the couple says select, because they me be picky as to who they will choose and not just take any available guy. Terms are always up to interpretation.

FWIW - "Exclusive" is a criteria that really can't be verified.

Select males are the ones they select. The criteria varies from couple to couple and only they know it. You either meet the criteria or you don't and you'll never know what criteria you didn't meet. You have to accept it and move on.

This thread being brought back to life, it should be renamed Lazarus.

I think in most cases, a "select" male is simply one that checks the boxes of whatever it is she is specifically looking for. In some cases, that could mean "exclusive".

In other words, it means whatever the woman/couple want it to mean. By itself, it's about as useful as the term "open-minded" is with no other criteria/description.

Select male is a term for " exclusive"....

Another words, someone they only want to play with.... instead of randoms...
A steady male.

When my ex-hotwife and I were seeking male partners for mfm 3 ways, we didn't use the term "select" in our profile. We just described what we were seeking in general terms. Our inbox was always brimming with emails from men saying they were our guy LOL We were indeed "selective", but we were never nit-picky. Sure, we did have our own preferences which we didn't specify in our profile. We were excited to have so many willing men to choose from. In our later selection process we could screen for men who ticked all or most of our boxes..We considered men of all ages, marital status, body types, cock sizes, etc. We were experienced at swinging and could immediately weed out the jerks, crazies, fakes and the pushy, rude men. We always had left-over a list of what we called "prospects". We vetted them all and in most cases spoke with them via email before narrowing the list to those who would exchange mobile numbers. After we had mobile numbers and had established text or voice contact, we always had confidence that one or more of them was the real deal. We were never without prospects and out of the dozens and dozens of men we went out to meet, we never had but a couple of no-shows and only 1 or 2 disappointing 3somes. So bottom line, I am now an older (66) divorced bi man and the shoe is on the other foot. I still have swinging in my blood and seek couples, women and men. I am very selective in whom I contact. If even see the words "select men" in a profile, it denotes a person or persons whose minds are closed to meeting only a perfect, idealized partner.

"Select male" is different for every couple that puts that in their profile. It simply means that they don't fuck every guy that pings "What's up?" or "How are you?" You have to match what they are looking for and probably have to put in some effort.

LOL. You are probably correct in that description. In reality most couples realize that person does not exist and a couple that we talked with were so stuck on themselves we didn't care if they ever found anyone.
Most women will accept an average looking guy with average or slightly bigger equipment IF, he is intelligent, respectful, courteous, is clean and has manners and knows how to treat them like a lady. Its a huge bonus if after the fact the guy calls the next day and says, "Wow you were amazing! How soon can we do it again?"

Select to us means.. He fits into what we are looking for sexually.. looks.. personality.. usually thin .. slender.. a plus would be hung and a really heavy cummer.. Not looking for pain give or get and we really don;'t by age but within reason.. he's doesn't have to be bi but he must enjoy what we like to do. We kinda can cut through the BS meter but have been fooled in the past..

A select male, is the nice understanding, respectful, boundary observing, mannered man. Non pushy, knows the lady calls all the shots, and these rules do not change. The roles played may vary some of those rules, but still the lady that sets the do and don't.
A couple picks and chooses what, who, and how, to there desire, only. The better the fit, the less that stands, but starting off, it is that simple, we are all looking for what we desire, sometimes we get it, sometimes it takes more looking.
The select male, accepts that it is not his call, but a possible "fit" can work in his favor, but it is a delicate line, a wrong word or comment can close that door very quickly. We all want to have fun, enjoy ourselves, and those involved to do the same. Communication is always the key. Demands put an air, that if that is what is demanded, nothing is said about what is not, and expectations get away from what is needed, wanted, or understood. You can't get comfortable until you know what makes that comfort. Never be pushed, always accept it may not work, and enjoy it when it does.
Or in less words a select male, me of course, provided you think so too.

I agree with what Mayhem said.

There are many singles out there who play solo and as a couple with another otherwise single person.

Many couples and singles have a different criteria on-line as apposed to in person. Sometimes it's "this our best option tonight", chemistry is great for a one night thing with minimal investment of planning a night out and then a hotel room if neither host.

AND

I did send a PM to the couple that doesn't block Single Males thanking them for the play and letting them know how nice it was to meet them. Also let them know that if they would ever care to meet outside of a party.................................

We'll see what happens.

DB - It's not unusual that people will look for different things online vs in person at a party. We do. The Mrs will play with SMs at parties, but we're not really looking for them outside of a party. That's because we BOTH have other options at parties. If we get together with just an SM, the only options are she plays or we do an MFM.

Since we BOTH like to play and see/hear each other having fun with others, an SM alone isn't as much fun for either of us. That is also why a "select male" can be one that can bring an SF with them. Yes, I know that's technically a couple, but some SMs do have a regular SF and don't list as a couple, as do married couples that list/play separate.

FWIW - Since the Mrs isn't usually interested in girl/girl play, the same applies to SFs.

DBCooperMN not to be rude but it sounds like in the first case you were in a case of what you want versus what you can have now. Lots of people have what seems like unattainable goals for a private setting but when it comes to being at a club or party those are a lot more relaxed in lieu of having fun at the moment. I mean lets put this into perspective what guy would not want to have sex with a woman that measures 36 (D or bigger), 24, 36, or some other "perfect" measurements? That said when presented with a willing woman to have sex with right now are these same guys going to pass them up? The same thing can be said for a woman looking for her "fantasy" man with 10" length, good girth, and a six pack. When presented with a more average option for right now fun she is not likely to pass it up. Now this does not mean anyone is "settling" but rather tempering the very hard to find fantasy with the reality of what is available. As far as the second case goes perhaps they are not looking for a single male online (on this or any site) but are indeed interested in them when they meet face to face. I honestly cannot say I blame them because it is a lot of hassle to weed through the barrel of apples not fit to feed a hog for the one or two decent ones.

RE, DB: Well I can't please everyone, But I can please cocks ......Mary Jo

So just this last Saturday I was at a house party, and played with 2 different couples.

Checked out their profiles on Sunday.

The first couples profile is all about only wanting to meet couples or "SELECT" males that are well spoken, tall, hung like a horse, and pretty much everything I don't claim to be.
The second couple actually blocks single males.

People are amazing.

TallMark45

I appreciate the compliment, but it just isn't my thing.

Mayhem8

Thank you for the very kind words.

I did it on the advice of some very good council.

"If their profile is blocked to sms..."

They probably don't know their profile is blocked to single men. After all, SLS has a checkbox for blocking whole groups and no note that it doesn't actually work. So, it's likely they don't display an interest in SMs but also don't block them, which in a perfect world would leave their profile viewable and the ability to contact them intact. I wonder if the couple will wonder why, with so many out there, not a single single guy contacts them.

I would pull it out and suck DB to completion in a hot second......Mary Jo

BTW DB. The new profile pic may seem less fun, but it is definitely classier.

One doesn't throw the hat DB.

If their profile is blocked to sms you need to wait and hope they choose you to reach out to. Thems the breaks.

mayhem8

And with the fabulous new SLS messaging and Hot Date system, the only way to send a message is by opening their profile, then using the IM function. Unlike the old system, where a message could be sent directly from the Hot Date post.

Their profile blocks Single Males.

So where does one throw the hat?