Start by asking her questions, You may just ask her if that's a fantasy of hers as well. Is she in the LS? If not things may backfire. Tell her to use her finger on you if she could get into it. Make a bet pretend to lose, be creative just start with her ..buy a dildo. Have fun enjoying your fantasy.
nope, not new, but I don't visit the political forum much...LOL
"Wow! Longest most ignorant post yet...lol"
You must be new around here. Welcome to the Forum!
;-)
funcouplecentralwv - Seems odd that you'd assume anyone here to be vanilla.
FWIW - The OP currently has a profile with 17 pictures of her, none of him, and zero text that aligns with it being an SM only profile. I can't help but wonder how/why this became an SM only profile and nothing else got updated. I do try to give people the benefit of doubt, but admit that is a stretch in this case.
If you can't be honest with your spouse you're probably married to the wrong person.
Perspectives are very different for people who are IN the lifestyle and those who are not. When I say 'traditional', I'm referring to just that... those women who are generally vanilla in nature and have no lifestyle experience. Lots of guys are married to these women, start watching a lot of porn, etc... and slap them with a bunch of sudden information they are not prepared to handle.
My point, was if that applies, one needs to slowly ease into things. Lots of guys have dropped the 'bi' bombshell on their vanilla wives, only to end up in couples therapy or divorced. She suddenly has to deal with the fact she is not equipped to handle his needs. It's like a vanilla guy being told by his wife that she needs more than he has to offer. Can produce a lot of insecurities.
Most lifestyle people are well past this. They are past those initial insecurities and can play with confidence. I guess my response was directed at the beginners and those with vanilla partners.
I guess it means she is barefoot, and he tells her what to do and when to have dinner ready...LOL
What the heck does "100% traditional wife" mean... especially in a lifestyle context?
funly - While I would have phrased it a little nicer, I do think that left out a lot of consideration.
A basic premise for many couples is that they're in the LS for each other. Speaking for ourselves, we both really enjoy seeing the other having fun with others. If I did play bi, it's more likely that my wife would find it hot seeing me enjoy myself.
IMHO, the whole "manly" line of thinking is a key reason that bi guy play continues to be less socially acceptable than bi woman play. Insinuating that a guy is "less manly" if they play with other guys is roughly equivilent to slut shaming women. In both cases, it will hold them back if they care what others think.
Wow! Longest most ignorant post yet...lol
When it comes to situations like this, you likely already know how she is going to react to the fact that you 'might' be bi.
Most (not all) women are not turned on by it. Most women enjoy seeing their man as taller, stronger and more masculine than them. Most (not all) women enjoy being 'taken' by a strong, masculine man while having sex. They like to see their man as 'the man'.
For some women, seeing you on your knees to another man or bent over getting railed... erases that masculine image they have of you. It's often a fatal blow to the relationship, as they will never see you in the same light again.
Now, more about the 'already know' part.
Does your wife also lean toward the bi side? Is she super adventurous, likes to watch a little porn and completely open to all the LGBT stuff out there? When in bed, is she playing with your ass? Are the two of you sucking dildos together, doing bi fantasy play? Is she pegging you? If all of these are a YES, then there's a good chance she may be ready to take the next step.
If the two of you are the opposite of the above, there's a good chance she will wrinkle her nose in disgust... especially if you've been married for decades and have always followed a specific vanilla routine. Your first step in a little social lubrication is stepping up your bedroom escapades and getting more creative. See where goes from there.
Do NOT hit a 100% Traditional wife who you've been completely vanilla with for decades with something you've been jerking off to in private forever. You've likely taken years to get to this point, as she's still stuck in 1999. LOTS of guys have shot a nuclear torpedo into their marriages by reading all the fake 'coming out' stories, and thinking their wives would be all in COLD TURKEY. lol
Good Luck (and I don't buy your second post)
I hear a fair number of people here say they wish they had a bi friendly party that they could attend. Anybody can start a group and anybody could organize a hotel room party with any criteria they wish.
We happen to have another advantage in that we have a house we can host parties in, so I do lead by example. If someone has that as well, this could become even easier. To start, they can use SLS to post a Hot Date with the party criteria/details. After a few parties, they can have a list with contact info for their core group and could start to limit it to the people that really meet their party criteria.
The problem is that the people that want this don't want it enough to actually do things to make it happen, and are hoping someone else will carry that torch.
Most people don't have a group open to bi men to attend. I'm glad you do.
funlyfriend - Being that we attend bi friendly parties, if I wanted to play with a couple of guys it would be very easy. I have a number of bi guy friends that would likely be happy to play with me if I rolled that way. At parties, it takes much of the fake and all of the flake stuff out of the equation.
As in most things, it's easier to find things you aren't really looking for. We are likely in a tiny minority of couples not looking for SFs either, but we are friends with a number of them and the Mrs is an unintentional chic magnet ;-)
Mayhem, that is a big nope. You see the bi men here jerking off and posing, but in real life they are fake and flakes.
Goodgolly and I agree on something!
There is hope for me!
I saved the screen capture.
I'm confused.
If you are separated and do not play together, why do you need to find a way to not tell her, or a need to tell her at all?
If she walks in on you getting fucked in the ass by a guy on the floor, she should just step over you and keep going.
But, to answer your question, if I ever wanted to try a guy, I guess it is just like SW and couples. Find a profile you like and ask. I would probably look for a bi guy in a couple, tell them I was bi curious and willing to try. I would guess it would be easier to try it while you are doing the woman. Let the guy play with you while you are playing with her and see what happens.
Although, I would guess it would be easier to find a bi SM who likes newbies than a bi guy in a couple , who likes newbies.
Why not try setting up SM bi curious profile and see what you get?
"Perhaps you should update your profile to being a single if you are no longer a couple."
Yeah. You just self-reported as a single posing as a couple.
" In addition, we are not playing together currently because we are amblicably separated. "
Perhaps you should update your profile to being a single if you are no longer a couple.
Lookin4one209 - The single largest category of members in probably any on-line sex site is single guys. Since I'm not looking for guys I can't say this for certain, but I would expect it's WAY easier for you to find guys to play with as a SM than it would be to find couples or SFs. Some # of those SMs will be cheaters, so they are likely to care less about your situation. Should be relatively easy to find what you're looking for.
And the people who answered are supposed to be mind readers.. how about explaining your situation so it makes more sense to others on forums!
If your open with no questions asked, why inform her at all?
You left those details out of your initial message.
Everyone, as always I thank all of you for your kind responses. However, it's not cheating if we are in a open swinger marriage and she has always went out on dates with no questions asked. In addition, we are not playing together currently because we are amblicably separated. How is that cheating ?
I'm just going to join the chorus. Yeah, it might lead to some uncomfortable conversations, but that's a far better road than cheating on someone who trusts you. Betrayal is a shit choice, basically, so don't do it.
