Episode 105 - "Freak Offs" vs LS Parties | Swinger Needs DEBUNKED!

Transcript

Speaker1: Living the Suite Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle. From newbies totime swingers, or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex-positive discussion. Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself much for joining us in this episode of Living the Sweet Life. She is my beautiful, sexy co-host and wife, the lovely Trist. He is my sexy chocolate husband, Walt. And ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us in episode 105. We were just live on Instagram and we cannot believe right after this new year, y'all, we've been doing this thing for six years. I know, man, I know it's coming. It's coming. Um, but yeah, man, we're super excited to be here with y'all tonight. I know we've been away for a little bit, but trust me, it's all, uh, because we got some stories to tell. Yes, so we were at Secrets. Last weekend? It was last weekend. See, the weekends are going fast already. We was at Secrets last weekend. We were going to do a show the weekend before we could make it. So then we had to go to Secrets, but we got stories from that will get you pumped. That's right. Secrets in Orlando. If you have not been, definitely check it out. But we'll get into that on another episode. That's right. That's right. We're going to save that. We call that a teaser in the business. A teaser. So, yeah, that might be the next episode. It might not. But we'll keep on following us and y'all will get the updates on what we're going to be talking about. Let's get it. Look, we got some sweet talkers in the chat already. Somebody said excited for the show. Hey, look, sweet talker. We excited to have you. And we got our friends that we met actually put some faces to this awesome blog. Swingosphere. Swingosphere. That's right. Am I saying that right? I think so. That's right. That's right. They are in the chat. Check out their blog. Check them out on Instagram. They good folks, man. Check them out. They say congrats. Six years. We getting there. Getting there. Let's not speak too soon, right, Trish? Almost. We know we still got a few more shows to do, so we're going to make six. That's right. Damn, I wonder how many, what number we'll be by the time we get there. That's like April. I used to say that at the beginning, remember? I know. Yeah. Hey, shout out to Playfully Artsy, my guy. Oh, he checking you out. I need to adjust the camera or Trish, you can adjust your chair and get them things up a little higher. Hi. Yeah. For the podcast audience, Tr Trist is basically naked I got on clothes yeah if you want to be technical sure that's why I need to check out the YouTube now for me I'm wearing a t-shirt I love your t-shirt flexing my squad today flexing the squad but anyway we'll get there we'll get there so y'all know what it is man y'all know what it is let's knock out some of this housekeeping Trist where we going man where we going Thank you, as far as trips go, right? Kinda. Are we not? We're going back. We're going to Florida and we just got invited to a crazy, sexy party down there, but y'all can't come. Oh, so here's the thing, right? This is what happens when you have lifestyle friends. And they're like, oh, you're coming back? You're going to be here in my hometown? Like, yep, we're coming back. But we're going to be there with our family. It's supposed to be a nice, wholesome trip. It's supposed to be. Wholesome. We can't set foot in Florida without getting naked at some point. Wholesome trip, right? Then you get your lifestyle friends. They're like, oh, hey, you trying to come to this Slutsgiving, though? Can you fit that in by chance? Oh, I'm going to fit it in all right. Yo, that's crazy. I cannot wait. That's going to be bananas. And it's like, how can we say no? I know, right excited we're excited about that one so where else are we going maybe okay that should should I say should close us out for 2024 you say emphasis on shit because I'm sure we'll find something to fit on in I don't know if we're gonna fly nowhere I don't know if we're gonna fly anywhere may not be flying anywhere but I'm pretty sure we're gonna probably local. It's going to be a party. It's going to be some kind of shenanigans. But the next trip that we know about right now is Desire. So we're going to go to Desire finally, right? I know. We have not been back to Desire since, what was that, 2019? 19. Yes. We're going to go to Desire. And those of you that don't know, Desire just went through a major renovation. So they have a new site. Addition to their to the compound. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you got it. They built out a new site called Eden. Essentially, it is a it looks like a whole new resort on that side. They have its own rooms, has its own pool. And from my understanding, that pool area is area. And see,'s a new hot tub too, right? Yes, and a new hot tub. But for a second, my DMV came out. Area. Area. Don't be ashamed. That's right. We're proud. Area. They have a new area. No, fuck that. Area. But go ahead. They're for the pool and the hot tub, as Locke was saying. But I'm excited to go to see the new renovations on the new side. And that's still at RM. So the Eden side is still- Riviera Maya. Right, Riviera Maya. Yeah, I'm saying like, yeah, like people know. But we're excited and we're excited to give feedback on it too, because a lot of people talk about Hedo and things like that. But I'm definitely excited to talk about desire when we get back in February. Mm hmm. Oh, Mrs. Playfully Artsy is up in here, too. Hey, beautiful. So fine, girl. You got a place in my heart. Yeah, man. Nah, we definitely got love for these two crazy kids. Love y'all, man. Y'all crazy. Let's see. So that's where we're going. But this week, we're going somewhere too, baby. Hey, you ready? You ready to tell them? Where we going? To the motherfucking voting booth. Yes, we are. That's right. That's right. We're going on a field trip early in the morning. We're going on a field trip early this morning, early in the morning, one of these mornings. And we're going to go up in there, do our civic duty. We're going to vote. Make sure y'all do the same. Get that thing done. It's huge. It's important. All the wonderful things. Make sure y'all are registered, all the good things, and get it done, man. It's a big one. It's huge. There's a lot of important issues on the ballot. Make sure y'all take your time and do your research and make good decisions out there. Actually, shit, when you think about it, Trish, by the time this episode releases, we should know what's going down. Hopefully. Yeah, because we're not going to release until Friday. So, yeah. But for all my people in the chat right now, y'all know what it is. Do your thing. Do your duty. Yeah, I just I'm honestly just want it to be over. I'm tired of seeing all the things about it. Everything. I just I just want it to be done. My name is Locke. She is Trish and we approve this message. Yes. Thumbs up. Let's go. All right. So, baby, before we get into all the shenanigans, all the opinions, because we about to opine like a motherfucker, got to check in with my boo, man. So, baby, how you feeling? You know, I'm feeling excited. We're just coming off of Secrets, so it was great to be able to have different friend groups. At Secrets, it's the first time we've done, well, in a small version, right? When it's not Hedo or somewhere like that. We've had our different friend groups and we're able to. And we weren't working. And we weren't working. Correct. We were just able to just relax. So coming off of that, I feel good. I just feel good and relaxed. Like we got invited actually to another Lifestyle local event. And I was telling Locke before we left the Winter Secrets, I was like, you know what? I think I'm going to be good when we get back from... I didn't know. But I was like, I think I'm going to be good. I'm okay. Like if we don't go to that party. And I was. I was fine. So that's how I'm feeling. Awesome. How are you feeling, Locke? Me, I'm feeling better, right? Last time we did a show, I was in a little bit of a little funk. I was going through a lot of little changes, a little stressed out, you know, mentally and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, I've been pushing through and I'm feeling a lot better. Like you said, Secrets was a much welcomed retreat where we did get to meet up with some of our friends from home. It was a trip for one of our beautiful, sexy friends, Mrs., the beautiful Mrs. DMV. She had, we celebrated her birthday down there with some folks from the area. And then we got to meet up with some of our Florida friends. And we got to combine those groups to party and laugh and talk and chit chat. And that's the best thing in the world. Again, friends meeting friends and friends hanging out with friends. So that was good. That was good. So we got a lot of things to look forward to in the future. Like Trish mentioned, desire, super pumped up by that. Put the little countdown in my phone. So it's time to start working out. And what did you say? We have it like 100 days, 100. So tomorrow is 99. That's the best thing, too. When you actually realize that it's time to go on a trip, like you start counting down and shit and then you get to the double digits. That's that's like a milestone. Yeah. So think about it this way. Tomorrow we wake up. We're already in double digits. That's correct. Oh, I'm excited. Can I just, you know, go ahead. I'm going to put a little damper on us. But our friends, they're going to they're counting down for like a week because they're going on a bliss cruise. Oh would you do that why why because i know that all of the when they when they start going right everybody's gonna be like oh i let me send you these pictures and we're gonna be sitting at home hey that's a win listen i'm not complaining y'all can send me all i am here to support your trip By receiving all of your pictures. Yeah. Do that. Send those. And I'll make sure that I cry. I'll put crying emojis on all of them. With like double horns. It got so bad that we got we met some. We knew these folks from the Hedo trip. Oh, yes. But we got to kick it with them. And where were we just now? At Secrets. And everybody around us, except for this pair, this couple, are going on this damn trip. We got a ton of mutual friends that are going on this trip, except for us four. So we started our own little chat group called the Non-Cruise Chat, like the Non-Bliss Cruise Chat. That was just us four. And we're going to be fussing and complaining and sending our own little nudie pictures. Now, how y'all like that? Mm-hmm. Yeah, we show them. Show them. Show what? And I think Mr. Playfully Arsey was like, oh, darn. You know, send your pictures. We'll be looking at them while we're on the beach naked. Sorry. Oh, we're going to really sad by that yes jerk love him all right hello another sweet talker says hey y'all hi hey what's up that's therapeutic dandy checking in what's up y'all make sure you check out their website they selling things they putting things together they creative and they beautiful black folk doing out. Check them out. All of what he just said. All of it. She can double down on it. That's right. She know what it is. Mrs. Playfully Arcee says that I'll buy the internet package just for you. Yes. And y'all can do a FaceTime from the ocean. Oh, that'd be tight. Oh my gosh. Do it. Do it. Let's set that up. Let's set that up. Yeah, yeah up yeah if i could see boobies by like the starlight and hear the ocean i mean i mean there's nothing better like that i think that'd be awesome it's just like every time we talk to someone it's another friend group they're like oh yeah we're going on chris i'm like you suck you suck so bad ah she said deal love it yeah done Yeah. Done. All right, Tris. Are you ready to get into tonight's episode? Let's do it. Let's go. Thank you so much for hanging in there, ladies and gentlemen. This is, again, Living the Suite Life, episode number 105, I think. Yeah, this is 105. This is definitely 105. Tonight, we're going to start off with something a little on the somber side. I know we're kind of behind, right? It's been a minute since the indictment and all this and, you know, all the crazy stuff that's happening with Sean P. Diddy Combs, right? We've all heard the name. We've all heard the allegations and all the crazy stuff that's going on. But unfortunately, the nature of his parties is getting kind of fucked up and twisted around with the lifestyle, right? People are kind of tying these things together or looking for common threads and themes. And I wouldn't say dragging the lifestyle through the mud, but we want to take just a couple of minutes to try to pull those things apart, right? To kind of explain the differences. Yes, and a lot of this is allegedly, right? Because I wasn't at this party. So I don't know. But these are things that we have seen online or just in general, right? In passing. Yeah. We've seen some stuff online, like Trish said, like on Facebook, you know, you can't have people actually saying like, you know, defending the lifestyle, like, you know, what do you mean how these two things don't compare? We're here to argue in some, in some circumstances, some descriptions, they kind of do. Yes. But there's major, major, maybe two or three differences that we want to make sure that the world that listens to us understands. Yeah. Right. So first, we're going to go through some of these allegations, accusations, whatever, and see how they fit into like a lifestyle party or whatever. Right. Lifestyle scene. Correct. And sweet talkers, feel free to chime in. Yeah. Let us know if we missed something. Misinterpret. And talking about that's what this is community number one uh we talked about it right we're trying to figure out some of these things and uh trish lets me know. And we talked about there were weight requirements and body shape requirements, piercing requirements or lack thereof to get into like a free call for a ditty party. For women. For women. Let me just be specific about that. So for women, you had to be under a certain weight. And we're saying allegedly. And that's allegedly. Okay. I'm just saying what was online that allegedly that women had to be a certain weight. And we're saying allegedly. And it's allegedly. Okay. Because I'm just saying what was online. Uh-huh. That allegedly that women had to be a certain weight or under a certain weight to be at the party. Certain body types that, you know, just women had to fit into. And, of course, not a lot of piercings and tattoos that allegedly that women just could not have to participate in the party. Now, how do we think that this relates to, like, the lifestyle? Is this the same? For somebody who might be listening to our voices for the first time, they want to understand, is that what goes on in a lifestyle party? Yes, it can. It can. Like I'm not just I'm not saying that this is not something that could happen. You have that for certain parties. Actually, a party that where you have to get approval. Right. They want you to send a picture and not just a picture. They want you to put dates. Yeah. Like write the date and hold it up. Yeah. And see your full actual like how you actually look from head to toe. Right. So they can do an analysis of not if you're going to get approved to actually participate to go to this party. There are events like that. And they want to use discretion. I mean, not discretion, but yeah, they want to. Yeah. Like type of people that they want at their party. So, yes, that could be a thing. It could be a thing. So that's kind of a compare. It's kind of something that they have in common. And let me be honest, like, you know, in some of this stuff that we've heard online and posts and people, you know, doing like crazy interviews and talking about Diddy party. I've heard people making fun like, you know, that shit sounds like it was a good time. You know, like it was alcohol flowing and people getting naked and people stripping and all this crazy stuff. But we'll get into more of that. And people say, damn, that actually sounds like fun. But again, there's a huge, huge differences that we're going to get to. We'll get into that. Next thing. Sweet Talker. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, baby. Sweet Talker one. Just chimed in. Hey, sweet talking. Number one. What's happening? Beautiful. Welcome to the party. Miss you. Love you. Let's see. Swingersphere says the description we see a lot is. HWP only. Hot white people. I don't know what that is. What does HWP stand for? Yeah, please let me know what HWP stands for. Okay, next one. Drug use, party drugs, tons and tons of alcohol. Now, Trish, are these things that are these some things that we see at lifestyle parties? Yes. I mean, you can see a lot of alcohol all over the place. You do see that. Ah, height, weight, proportional. Got it. LOL. Yes. Yeah, we did say hot white people. I did. You said that. I didn't say that. Yeah. Yes. Height, weight, proportional. And that is true. That's true. That's what you see at like lifestyle clubs. Yes. And not at clubs, but certain events. Certain events. Well, for sure. Drug use could be a thing. It could be a thing. At the party. It's not that the party planners or events are giving out drugs. Right. But there could be drug use that people are doing at lifestyle parties and alcohol. right? Alcohol is free flowing is everywhere. You do BYOB, bring your alcohol with you. Or there could be bars and you're, you know, buying alcohol. Yes, those things happen at a lifestyle party. Exactly. And just like you said, like drug use and alcohol could be at any party. That's correct. You know, so yes, those things do tie in together. Again, we're going to get to the huge, huge difference coming up. Next one. Prostitutes. Have we heard of lifestyle parties or clubs having prostitutes on premise without the owner or person's knowledge or party throwers knowledge? Yes. Yeah, we've heard of that. Yes, not often. Not often. Yes. This is not something that's prevalent that we know of that we've ever seen or that we've invited into our culture as far, not into our culture, into our circle of like parties and things that we go to. But we've heard of these things happening. Again, so that might be something that happens in the lifestyle world that does happen at these parties, allegedly. Allegedly, yeah. Let's see. Next one is videos and pictures, non-consensual. Is that something that happens at lifestyle parties? That could happen, yes. It could happen. And we've seen it happen on a premise at Hedo once. Yes. Got his ass bounced up out of there. Remember that? Yes. So this dipshit idiot. Right. So he was at Hedo. I don't know if we even talked about this. I can't remember if we even brought this up. I think we did. But go ahead. But yes. So this young gentleman. It was his first time I believe at Hedo. He posted a video of I don't know exactly what it was but he posted it had to be something of nude right online and tagged Hedo in it in the actual video itself and security found him and was looking for him had his picture yep all the things it was looking for him and yeah he could not go on the nude side for the rest of more. No more. And they was going to be watching him. I don't know if they made him stay in his room or what they did, but they bounced him right on up out of there. Probably put a fucking ankle bracelet, ankle tag on him. You know what I'm saying? Like house arrest on that ass. Yeah, so those things could happen as far as somebody taking videos and pictures that is not consensual. And again, I don't't want to say all of this is like, oh my gosh, especially if you have a first-time listener trying to figure out the lifestyle. All these bad things can happen. That's not what we're saying. And we're not, let me make it clear, that we're not defending a ditty party. No, we're not defending a ditty party. We're just saying that some of the things could be the same in a lifestyle party. It doesn't mean that it's happening all the time. No. In any certain order. Right. Sex, nudity, orgies, strippers. They definitely happen at lifestyle parties. Yes, you get nude. You have nudity. You have orgies happening all over the place at a lifestyle party. That definitely can happen. We all know that sex happens, right? Not so much strippers because who needs them at a lifestyle party? I have seen strippers come as dates with people. And I have seen that more than one time. Strippers will be a date of someone. And how do I know they're stripping? Because they are, I mean, their bodies look like amazing and they got the stripper heels on. I mean, your body look amazing, babe. That's why I guess why our kid thought she was a stripper. I guess that's why she thought I was a stripper, right. But no, it's just that you could just tell that they weren't like with the person per se, right? Bisexual men, women, interming and that we've seen happen. Not at lifestyle party, at a freak-off diddy party, but the things that we have seen or heard about at lifestyle parties. That's correct. Now, we're going to go ahead and get to what's the big difference? Why can these things... No, we're going to say like theme nights. Oh, the theme nights. Okay, yeah, they got theme nights at diddy freak-off parties, right? Yeah, they did white parties and circus, circus shit. I don't know. Yeah, all these things. Oh, the theme nights. Okay. Yeah. They got theme nights at diddy free golf parties, right? All white parties and circus, circus shit. I don't know. Yeah. All the things, right? And we have themes. Yeah. And we definitely have theme nights. You do. Okay. But now what's the big difference? How can we pull these things apart so that nobody will say that these things are the same in fact, right? And it comes down to two things. Two, maybe three, depending on how you dice the words up. It's fucking choice. Choice and consent. When you walk into a lifestyle party, nine times out of ten, most of the time, everybody understands. They understand and abide by the rules of consent. You have a choice. You are not being drugged, allegedly, when you walk in the door, right? This is what allegedly happens at a free golf party. You're not being drugged at the door in order to take away your choice. That's correct. The choices that you are going to make in that night. You can do it yourself by, you know, participating in your party drug of choice or drinking until you can't fucking walk. That's correct. You're doing that to yourself. But to make it a requirement walking in the door of someone else taking your choice away, that's never, ever happened. Nobody has ever taken our choices when we walk through the door. You know what I mean? Walk through the door during the party. You get what I'm saying. You get what I'm saying. You know, it should be a choice. Nobody, if you're taking away the choice, if you're giving somebody drugs that they're unaware of, that they have, right? Then you take away the choice. Right. And the other one is the influence. This is something that, um, you know, Tristan and I have, we've had conversations with like other podcasters, other content creators about using influence, not, not using, using influence. Right. Um, when you go you go to places, like when you go to a casual swinger week or we go to a podcast, the Palooza or a Liberty event. Or any event that we are there to host. As lock and trist. And not even just hosting, just any event. Actually, at this point, we have to be socially aware of your influence that you could have on a situation right you want to be clear that this is a consensual conversation or that we're going into whatever the situation consensually and it's not because we're persuading persuading you coercing you. Exactly. Correct. Yeah. No. And if I ever get the vibe that that's what's going down, like somebody wants to, you know, to kick it just on the principle of that. One, I need to question your intentions. You know what I mean? And then, you know, it ain't that deep for us. It's not. And actually, that's only happened one time. I'm going to be up front street with that. Like in the six years. That's true. That we've been doing a show. I've only had that happen one time. And I had to depart and never talk to them again because it was that you were in a situation because we were locking Tris. And it just got back to us just by through channels of other friends that they didn't realize that we were friends with and was like hey i think you guys need to watch out for right x y z they they do know you're lock and tris after they said they didn't even know we had a podcast right and it was kind of like a brag about oh i spent I spent time with like Locke and Tris and I just had to disengage altogether. Yeah. Because it was that was just weird. So bringing it back full circle again, allegedly make sure we cover our asses legally when they get when you're talking about a freak off a diddy party and all that stuff, we're talking about the influence that that guy and his team or whatever has on all the people there. All of them. Everybody. They feel like they have to do something. They feel like they gotta do something. They gotta get on that level. I'm in the doors. This is my chance, you know, whatever. You know, guys, ladies, whatever. Everybody feels like this is their shot to do something, meet somebody. And, you know, maybe they're doing something that they feel like they are going to regret tomorrow. You know what I mean? And it's going to turn up on one of those non-constitual video pictures. Yeah. And they got your ass. You know what I'm saying? So that's the thing, man. Those are the main that's those are the main differences between those two. Right. I mean, it's take away the fact, you know, the. the, uh, the, with choice and consent. Exactly. If somebody's taking your choice, that means you don't have the choice to consent. You don't have the option, the ability to consent, to say yes or no. You're just going to go with whatever's happening. Correct. You know what I'm saying? Put yourself in a bet or they put you in a very, very bad position based on that influence. And that is the main huge difference, you know. And, you know, hopefully that shed some light on this subject for a lot of people. Hopefully we didn't, you know, butcher the conversation. If you guys have any other things to add, please feel free. Let us know your thoughts on it. Because the issue is not that you had a free golf party. Yeah, man. It's not. You can go have a have an orgy, man. Orgies are allowed. It's America. It's America. You can have a sex party. You can invite all the people in the world. All the stars. Right. All whoever. Man. As long as everybody is consenting. Yep. Not under any type of influence by anyone else or drugs or anyone else. Exactly. Right. Oh, adults only. How about that part? How about that? Yeah. No children, please. Predatory Behavior, Sweet Talker No. 1 says. Exactly, man. Yeah, exactly. This shit ain't predatory. We're here by choice. We want to have fun and that's it. Most of the time, nobody wants anyone to get hurt. Correct. Most of the time, everybody abides by the rules of consent and asking, you know, some people might grab ass, you know, not doing that, but they will get checked. They will. You know, and that's not the norm. That's not the norm. So. All right. We're going to stick a bow in that, man. And we're going to we're going to cleanse our palate of that nasty shit. We're going to move on to topic number two. Trish, you ready? Yes. Let's put some smiles on these people's faces. So let's talk about some of the things that you think you need to participate in the lifestyle to have a great time. But guess what, baby? You actually don't. Yep. Yeah, we're about to debunk this shit. We're going to debunk a lot of things. You ready to get started? You want to take number one? Yeah. So we were out with our friends yesterday, some lifestyle friends yesterday, and we kind of went through, oh, what are some things that they think that they would need used to or used to or now, right? Things that they need in the lifestyle, but you really don't. And that's actually a question while we're going through this for the Sweet Talker. What are some things just get you thinking that you thought that you needed in a lifestyle, but you really don't, right? So I'll start with number one, alcohol, a.k.a. liquid carriage, right? That you felt like you had to, I got to have a, I got to get my alcohol in so that, you know, work on my nerves. And I'd say you're not going to be like nervous, right? But so are hundreds of other people, right? Could be at that event. They're nervous, too. You don't need alcohol, per se, to have like a conversation. And this ain't no judgment shit, y'all. Listen, Tris, we were just saying, thank God we don't party like we used to. Oh, we used to throw it down back in the day. Yeah, like we used to get hammered. Yes. But did we feel like we needed to get hammered? No, I just think we was having a good time. I think we were having a good time. We didn't know our limits. We were just partying. But I think it did lower our inhibitions. It did. You definitely got up on the stripper pole a time or two. And I think the alcohol probably has something to do with that. But we was just like lit, man. We were wild and taboo. We would go once a month and we would get blitzed. Yeah, yeah. But then you realize, you know, you don't necessarily need to get that fucked up. You can have a drink, of course. And I'm not telling anybody not to get fucked up. I'm just saying this is a list again of things you think you might need, but you don't. You don't really need it. You don't need to get blitzed and fucked up. For one, for me personally, I like my dick to work. I knew he was going to say that was one. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. You know, I'm not saying I need it all the time. Right. Because not every situation is going to be a sex situation. But I want it to work whenever I'm ready. Break glass in case of emergency. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Break glass in case of emergency. Yes. And I think for me, I just want the experience to be remembered. Right. And it not to be like in a haze of like just, you know, how things can get spotty a little bit when you had a lot to drink. Right. It's not to say you didn't consent to be in a situation, but there could be spots that is just was like, I don't know. Like, yo, right. Yeah. Little gaps in your memory. Right. Like our wedding night. yo. I just remember the one lady with the booty and that's it. Yes. Yes. I was fucked up. And that's the other thing. Like for me, yo, you know, of course, drink. We're going to drink. We drank. We drank last weekend. We showed it yesterday. But it's like. Don't be putting my business out there. But no. We did yesterday. But nah, it's like, I hate hangovers, man. Yes. I'm over that shit. I'm done. Waking up the next day. We got a little one. That shit don't fly. She gonna be like, hey, get the fuck up. I want some bacon. I want pancakes. And I think that we've gotten better through the time that we've been in a lifestyle just about knowing our lemons. Yeah. And how we drink is completely different. Right. Right. We don't drink certain types of alcohol anymore because we know that that's like a bad. It's going to give us like a bad hangover or whatever the case. So we kind of try to figure out this form. Now that ain't this not to that. Every now and then, we don't get a little, you know, sexy. For sure. Or something like that. But our days of just getting blitzed are few and far, I would say, these days. Right, right. So we're talking number one times and says what? I can't read it right now. For the longest, I thought I needed to be in a relationship. Wasn't until later, I learned what a unicorn was. LOL. That's a good one. That is a good one. I'm surprised we didn't even think of that one. Yeah, let's dive into that one. I agree with that, right? I think, and I remember having strict, like, clear thoughts on it or an opinion on it early on in our relationship because I thought that people wouldn't take us seriously if we weren't if we weren't at least engaged engaged or been dating for a long time yeah because you know you would get into the lifestyle and you would tell people the intro like yeah we just started dating you know two years ago or a year ago or whatever and it seemed it seemed that we were like people people saw it as like a danger because i might be fucking around or you might be fucking around and we don't know who's using condoms and that whole kind of std kind of thing we seem like we're on shaky ground too much of a risk we're too risky right right and Right. Right. And it was like that. And then it's not. I don't see that foresee that now, but it was like that. Well, for us. Yeah. When we were dating. When we were dating. Yes, we were. We would meet couples and things at the club or whatever the case. Oh, you're talking about. That's how they saw us. Correct. OK. OK. I think that's what we were doing. No, that's how they saw us. Yeah. So it was hard at the beginning. Did we pose that to anyone else? Did we have that opinion of other couples when we first got married or been doing this thing for a while? Or hell, do you think that now? I think that we did for a little bit because that was kind of bestowed on us, right? That, oh, you got to be in a committed relationship and be together for a long time because that's what was happening to us at that time. But no, I don't think that way at all. I agree. As far as like if you're in a committed relation. Now, what I will say, though, if I see you and your partner and there's some drama happening and it's consistent, everybody had bad days, right? But if I see that multiple times, that's a red flag for me. I ain't messing with you. I'm with it. I don't want no parts of that. Nothing else needs to be said. Nothing else needs to be said. You hammered that one. I love that. That's 100% right, man. We ain't got time for all that bullshit. Otherwise, otherwise, if y'all dating and y'all cool and we kicking it and everybody kicking it, y'all grownups, y'all making choices like we making choices. Let's have some fun. But if y'all got problems, we don't want that. I don't want that. No, we good. Good one. Thank you for that one, sweet talking number one. Appreciate that. That was great. Next one. To be in shape or your level of attractiveness, which I say in air quotes. Is based on how in shape you are. Because it's so subjective, right? So to be in shape and to be like fit and have a six pack and arms and legs and she's, you know, super fat booty and, you know, is that something that you think that you need but you don't? I don't think so. Hesitation. Because I will say this. Attractiveness is different for each person. Exactly. Right? Exactly. Do I think that a person has to be attractive to be in a lifestyle? They to be attractive for me to be attracted to them yes because why I mean or else there's nothing else is going to happen do I think you have to be in shape and have a six-pack no right I do not think that I personality goes a long way yep for me again making me laugh go also goes a long way you got to have some little swag with you. You don't got to have a six pack, but you got a little swag. Boy, we can sit there and we can work that out. So I don't think in shape has to do with it. But I still think there's a certain attractiveness. Again, it's different for everyone. Exactly. And I think that's the point. That attractiveness means something different to everyone. Like you just described, attractiveness for you is personality, swag, charm, humor. Yeah, for sure. And yeah. And just by going to all these resorts and all these events, there are body types of every single measure. Every single measure, man. And they are walking around just as naked next to me. Don't give a fuck. Like, everybody's side by side. I'm talking about light skin, dark skin, white, black, whatever. You know what I'm saying? Big, small. Everybody's side by side. You know, big booty, little booty, flat booty, fake booty. You know what I'm saying? Big dick, little dick. You know what I'm saying? Everybody's out here chilling. Yeah. And they are having a blast and they are connecting with people and finding your place. Yes. You do not have. Find your trap. You don't have to be one. It's not a one size fits all. It's really not. You know, it sounds crazy, but I mean, it's like, you know, you know who you are attracted to, right? And you know, it's just like you got to work for your audience. Whoever you're trying to get to, whatever that person wants, that's what you, if you're working hard to do it, go for that person. Shoot your shot and then be ready either way it goes. You know what I'm saying? The next one that you, oh, this is yours. Go ahead. Theme nights. That you have to participate in theme nights. Now, I was telling Locke. Yeah, you got an interesting thought on this one. Let me tell you something. Theme nights are at most lifestyle events. Not all, but most of the time, right? There's a theme night that goes into some type of event, right? For me, I have a bottom level expectation that you must participate in that theme night. Ooh, must. Yes, that's the expectation. Okay. Because why else would a theme night be there and then you not participate? And what I mean by that is even if it's just wearing, I don't know, something minimal, if you just wore a mask, but you had on a black shirt, I don't know, right? Okay. Whatever the theme night is, but you need to try to participate in what, and that goes not just for lifestyle for me, though. That's for any event. Like, if you're having a white party, for example, and you show up in red because you don't have nothing white, I'm going to side eye you. Yeah, you shouldn't come. Right? You should just not go. Yeah. If you go to a lifestyle event and they say that it's a Hawaiian theme and you just show up in an all-black outfit and not even try, right? I'm going to say I show up. Fair. That's fair. I give you that one, right? I would say that it's not as much of a requirement for me to kick it with you if you come to a theme party or whatever and you're not in theme. But you show like you care about it, though. You know, we've talked to some people who this and we've seen people in chat groups who have major anxiety about theme nights. Some people get really nervous about it because they feel like if they don't participate, you know, people going side eye them. But you don't got to go all out. I'm not saying you have to be me. No, I get it. I get it. No, you're extra. You don't have to go all out and spend hundreds of dollars and do all the things. You don't do that. You build it. Well, still, doesn't matter. But that's not what I'm saying. I get it. But at least try. I get that. But I'm just saying, like, for the person who is nervous, who's hearing my voice right now, and they're like, oh, shit, Trish says she won't even look at me. I'll look at you. From the side. And then we can got nothing. But well, yeah, okay. You kind of checkmate. I'm just saying like, you know, I appreciate the people who do try. I do do but I'm just saying in order for you to engage at a lifestyle party do you have to be in theme to engage and have a good time I would say no and that's all my point is is that you can come and you can show up and say you know oh man I you know I thought about I couldn't decide and And I was so confused. And these things make me nervous. And I don't have a place. You know, I don't have anywhere I can buy this stuff from or whatever. Amazon. But I'm just saying, I don't have an Amazon account. You don't know. You don't know everybody's situation. I'm just saying is that you can still come in the door and have a good attitude and and share your story and talk. And engage. And have a good time. I'm not saying you can't have a good time. Some people might look at you side eye. But if that beautiful queen would stop and talk to you. She'd probably understand what happened. I guarantee you more than one person would be like. What happened to your theme night? I bet you. More than one person would look at you. And say what happened. Sweet Talk number one says, I'm going to look close. Exactly. Like, read the description, buddy. Exactly. And she says, effort is sexy. Yes. Okay. I ain't got nothing on that one. And it's a good way to start to have a conversation starter, right? It is. Oh, I like what you have on. I like what you did with this. Oh, what about blah. You know, if you don't participate in it, how do you create the social aspect, right? I agree with that. And we've said that on many a podcast. Like, participating in a theme night is something that is a definite, easy icebreaker. 100%. Easy. Let's see. Mr. Playfully Artfully says, I'm with Trist on that one. Come on. I mean, come on. He's biased. Cy, you all day. He's a little biased, though. Let's see. Fred's Ready said, hi. Joining late. It's rare, but sometimes a theme is just not for me. See? in that case, I might just look my best, but do my own thing. Thank you. I can appreciate that. Uh-huh. And Swingersphere says, we encourage you to show up as the best version of yourself, the version that makes you feel confident, authentic, and empowered. Nah, I got some people on my side. No, no, I can agree with that. Because sometimes a theme could be just, what are you talking about? Like, what do you want me to do, right? Number one says, I'm with Tris. Amazon. And Mrs. Playfully Artsy says, at least wear some colors related to the theme. Know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, True. A little bit of effort. You can do something. Yes. At least the colors replies. Sweet Talker number one. You tried. I love the discourse. Love it. See? That's what I'm saying. Got to give it a little effort. But sometimes the theme makes you a thing. Like if they be like Zoobily Zoo thing. What is that? Fucking, you know, you remember that cartoon? Yes. The show when you did it? Yeah. You got to dress up as a zoobily zoo animal. You try that shit, though. But I'm just saying, if it was some real random weird shit. And I get that. But at least I would try something. The zoo in outer space. They make this shit real complicated. You know what I'm saying? You'd be like, man, nah, I'm just going to wear some space suit or some shit. I don't know. Money. Do you need a bunch of money? That one depends. It depends on what you're trying to accomplish. Like, if you're trying to get your name out here in these streets, running around, you want to be known coast to coast, you need some bread. You got to pay to play you know but you know money is is it varies it does varies a lot it depends on what you're trying to accomplish right especially like in when you're trying to get in entry fee you got a little entry fee sometimes right because sometimes if you're going in butt naked, you trying to meet people, you got to apply to an app or a chat group or some shit like that. Or a dating site. Dating site is what I wanted. Yep. So you might have to, you got to pay that membership fee. Yes. Make your profile. So you can meet people. So you can meet people. And learn about parties. Bingo. Once you get your little circle established, your cost can go down. Yes. Because now you're just dating the same people. You're going on little dates and you're having little house parties maybe. You know what I mean? I wouldn't say that you need to be super wealthy to have a good time. No. I wouldn't say that you need to be wealthy. You got to have a little bread in your pocket. You got a little something to, something to you know again pay to play because it takes money to date yes we all know that as teenagers you take a little money to date yes you ever seen that movie um was it it wasn't how high it was a Dave Chappelle one where um god damn it him and his homeboys they was how all the damn time but he took a girl on a date, and he went on a date with like $10 in his pocket. Me and my man, we always refer back to this. When you go on a date with $10 in his pocket, and then Youngin stops and wants a hot dog, and then there was like a counter on the thing. It went from like $10 to like $4.95 left. And then they go out for ice cream, and this shit go to like $2.10. So his little count was going down. Yeah. Half-baked. Half-baked. Thank you. Yeah. Exactly. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. So yeah. So yeah, that's how your swinger meter is like counting down the money in your pocket. You know, when you starting to go to these events and things. Yes. Especially trips. You're like waiting trips. They add up, buddy. They add up. But again, I don't think you need to be super wealthy. You just got to be practical. You got to know what you want to get out of an event. What you're going to get, a big bang for your buck. A bang for your buck. Really, really figure it out. And then, again, you start meeting different people, having different network groups, and that cost goes down. But it can also go up depending on where your friend's located. Exactly. That part. Hey, we're going to other countries. You know what I'm saying? But yeah, no, exactly. Exactly. So the cost, I wouldn't say you need to be wealthy. No. But you do got to have a little bit of discretionary income if you want to fuck around in this here lifestyle. That's correct. Can you read some of the other comments? Come on, you know, I'll be straining already. Go on now. Yeah, that's me getting closer to the screen. Let's see. Red and ready says a good example for me is if it's a theme oh that feels misogynistic like fucking um school boy school girls i hate that that bullshit yeah or like maybe even like a naughty nurse yeah you know um playboy bunny can be considered that one but we did that we we had that theme somewhere i think it was that casual we did it reverse but we did it reverse right i was the bunny and you were hue you know what i'm saying so it's a little shit like that that you could do to change shake things up but yeah no i i can dig that like the misogynist ones the that old hat that school school boy, school girl, shit like that. Yes. Yeah, that can get that can get tired. I'm sure. Sweet Talker number one agrees. That's a good one. Yeah. And then says a Teletubby party. Yeah, that's dumb. I'm not doing that. Yeah. Maybe I'll just wear the color like something as the color of a Teletubby to like participate. Right. Oh, good one. Yes. Oh, good one. And then halfway. Right. Okay. All right. So here's another fun one. Bisexuality, especially for the ladies, especially for women, especially for the ladies. Is that something that you feel like you have to have? But you don't really need that, right? Wow. How do you feel about that? Or do you want to read that? Let me read that really quick. It says, True, we once flipped the script on our lingerie and suits. I wore a suit and he wore black lace brace with a leash. Nice. I would like to see that one. That's what I'm talking about. I did. I saw that. That was a good one. I saw that. It popped in my head. Literally. Sweet Talker says, fine line between a theme and fetishized culture. Yes. That's a good point. That's a good one. That's a good point. Because yeah, your freak flag is showing with that one. Your freak flag is flying. But that's a good, good point. Yes. So you were saying bisexuality. Bisexuality. That women have to be that. Yeah. Remember we talked about this. I think it was from Portland or maybe it was in Dallas when a woman said she felt like she had to be bi-necessary. Correct. That term was like a thing, right? It's like burned in my memory, right? Yeah. Bi-necessary. And I believe that she feels that, felt that way, right? It was because that a lot of women in a lifestyle assume that all women have to be bisexual in order to play. You got to be a bisexual woman to play. And that's not true, right? You can have bisexual women. You can have heterosexual women as well, but also that like to touch and participate, you know, in a way that still can be done, right? In a play environment. But there's just different levels to all of that, right? It's not always black and white, and I've always said that, right? It's not always black and white. Like, there are women bisexual. And that's fine. There are straight heterosexual women that just don't want to play at all with females. I've ran across them. But then you have in between things. It's a spectrum. It's definitely a spectrum. I'm not speaking for you. I'm trying to just fill in the gaps here. Especially from what I've seen. Do you remember a time when we first got into the lifestyle where parties or play sessions were so scripted? Yes. Early on. And this is a part of what the woman believed, the woman who mentioned the bi-necessary. And scripted means, okay, we're on a date, we come back to the crib, and now I'm kissing his wife, she's, and my wife is kissing him, whatever, it's a little swap there. And then now we move on to the women playing with each other. And then the guys jump in. Correct. That shit. When you think about it, if that's all you've seen and all you've experienced, I understand how that poor woman could get confused and thinking that's how parties have to go. Correct. you have to have two women playing in order for the session to jump off yes they have to start it yeah yeah no man the more you go along the more you realize this ain't a paint by numbers bro this is you you do what you feel you do what the what the crowd is comfortable with and everybody's talking and sharing their ideas and flirting. Whoever I'm flirting with, you move. That's how you move. There have been sessions where you and I have gotten started before everybody else has. That's correct. Where it's just like, you know what? We gonna get this in. You know what I'm saying? Or I'll start massaging you first. You know what I'm saying? I'm not just automatically jumping to the other woman or the other woman isn't automatically jumping on you. It's none of that. But to have just let's get back to the bisexuality part. Yes. It doesn't have to be that way because there are sessions where you don't play with a woman at all. No. Right. Because you have on this show have proclaimed that you are not strictly bisexual. You don't wake up and identify as bisexual. No. Right. So you do what you want to do. Yes. And there's no requirement for you to do anything with a woman. No. Right. And again, I'm not speaking for you. I'm just saying what I've heard you say on the show. Okay. Sometimes I play with my friends. Yeah. Leave it at that. Sometimes we play. Sometimes we don't. Exactly. Exactly. I know ladies that want to kiss you, and they were shy about it. I heard about that. Yeah. Adherence to sexual scripts. What? I can't see. Adherence to sexual scripts. Oh, okay. Adherence to sexual scripts. That's the worst, basically. Oh, the worst. In both monogamy and non-monogamy. Sorry. Yes, that's correct. Are the worst, is the worst. Got it, got it. Yes. Oh, okay, is not us. Got it. Yeah, that messed my eyes up. Sorry. I'm tripping. Oh, no, he can't see. Yeah, I'm already blind, man. That's correct. But the thing is, also in the lifestyle, I think where the hang up is as far as like something that you need versus don't. If a woman is bisexual, right? And this is just going off of like some experience, recent experiences, right? If you are bisexual, that is fine. Be in your truth, right? But also don't assume that the other person won't adhere to a touch or adhere to a kiss or something like that, right? Because the person's not saying that, hey, you know, I don't want you to touch me at all. I'm strictly, you know, heterosexual, whatever the case. If they're not saying that, right, all it is is an ax. Well, that's where the circle conversation is so important. You know, that's where the circle conversation is so important. So people can be like, you know, I'm into this. I'm into that. And, you know, I'm open to this tonight. That's correct. And, you know, tomorrow I might not be, but whatever. But today I'm into this. So sharing that kind of stuff up front is very, very helpful. You know what I mean? Yeah. But my point is, is that you don't need a woman to be to be necessarily bisexual. Right. To have an interaction. Just got to ask. You just got gotta ask. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Got you. What about that one? Four-way connection. That there has to be a four-way connection. No. Yeah. That there has to be. It does not have to be a four-way connection. It's very hard, actually. It depends on play style, though. It depends on play style, but it's hard to have a four-way connection. It's one of the hardest things to do, especially when you're first meeting someone, to have that four-way connection. And it's not saying it does not happen. It's just hard to do because I may not have talked to this person and him and I didn't really engage but you two did and it could be just some type of weird dynamic that just didn't happen with the four of us and that should be okay too but also a four-way connection could be sensual play could happen there's like so many things that can happen in a connection but everybody focuses focuses on... Are you talking about a session or like the connection? Like the chemistry. When we're saying connection, we're talking about chemistry. You're so right. Chemistry. Yeah, we're talking about four-way chemistry between a group. Because, and the reason I say that... Oh, I wouldn't do that. If I don't have chemistry with... With all four? That's correct. That's what I'm saying. So, is that? And I think it depends on your play style. You said you wouldn't. But some people would say, you know what, Locke? Go ahead. You can go play with them. I'm not feeling them. Have fun. That's what I would do. Exactly. I wouldn't participate. Exactly. So that's what I'm saying. So it's not something that is mandatory. It's something that is helpful. It's very helpful. But it depends on your play style. Because if you have a strict rule of or boundary of saying like, we only play together. Then I can't play with you. I pick up my toys and go home. Then that four-way connection is mandatory. That four-way chemistry is mandatory. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And that's fine if that's your play style. If that's what you need. We just miss out on an experience. And we have. We've done that. You know, thank you. But, you know, that's not how we roll, you know. Oh, and Sweet Talks is saying does not take one for the team. Exactly. Yeah. Say that that part. Not taking one for the team. But, you know, some people are like, yeah, I'm not going to take one. But you can go ahead and have a blast. Let me know how it goes in the morning. Knock yourself out. Knock yourself out. So I wouldn't say that a full weight connection is mandatory, but it helps. And a lot of people do have, you know, they do look for that, especially early on. Early on. Because you just, you know, you kind of, you want to do everything together. You want to do everything together. Yes. Yeah. But I ain't taking one for the team. Yeah, yeah. And I think people take one for the team because they want their partner. And Sweet Talkers, you can correct me on that. They take one for the team because they want their partner to have what they want, right, in that moment. And if it means that my partner is digging this couple, but I'm really like, eh, but I will participate just so that we can have this connection and you can have what you want. Right? So I take one for the team just so that you can have that experience. That's a tough sacrifice. Mrs. Playfully RC says a full way connection is the real unicorn. It is. It's hard. That's tough. That's a tough one. Yeah. We've been very fortunate enough to find some really good friends and they happen to be pairs of dope ass people. Yeah. So that's that's really, really cool. But that takes time. It does take time to cultivate that. It takes time to cultivate those relationships, right? Right. That four-way connection, and it turns into six-way connections and eight connections. Now you're talking. Now you have all the connections. That sounds like my birthday party. That sounds like Sneaker Ball. So the last one we're going to touch on, You can tell me, you can tell me, you in and encapsulate it in a bunch of different areas. Is that you need to participate to have to be a part of the lifestyle that you need to participate physically in a party right or that you need to participate in like when you go to a club that you need to be active and talking and fucking and nude and all of that now why isn't that true why why is this something that people think that they they don't really have to? Hey, we thought it right when we first got into the lifestyle. We thought that when the lights went out and it was midnight that, you know, that meant we need to take off our clothes and people were just going to just come and just dive on us. And we were going to start participating in the sexual activity. Right. That's so not true. But that's what we thought, right? Or people think that they just have to participate in general for being in a lifestyle event or a party. And you could just sit back. Or even a play session. Or a play session and say, hey, I'm just here to vibe and enjoy the scenery, right? And the scenery doesn't mean that you're watching people have sex. It doesn't mean you're being a voyeur. That can be a part of it. But it does not mean that you're being a voyeur. It could just mean being in an environment where people are dressed very sexy. And all of that is what you just want to get that feeling and that feel. Right. And you do nothing. And having that just having that open mind to even understand that there's something beyond the normal or the common constraints of marriage if you just have an understanding of that and you want to go out and be at a at a party and just hang out and socialize you are you're part of it you're part of it now you And you understand what's going on. And you're not judging. And you might just be just checking out the scene. Trying to learn what's going on. Hey look. That's all you really need. And you're having fun. And you feel like you're being your best sexy self. Somebody said it in the chat. Man. We just expect. You know. We hope that people come as their best authentic selves. Yeah. That's all you really need. And that goes for a play session as well. Right, Tris? Like, there have been times in the beginning, like, you know, your boy had issues here. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, there was some performance anxiety that's going on. Just because I'm not physically participating with my penis in someone. Yes. I'm still, I can still participate and help. And once some, I think I heard it on somebody's podcast. Look, I got the baby sticker on my wrist. Um, I think I heard it on somebody's podcast is that as long as you are active and having a good time and helping other, you don't necessarily need to be physically like fucking someone to be participating, to be considered participating and having a good time. Yeah. The thing is, is that I participated in a lot of things and never had sex with anyone. That's true. That's true. So I think you get a kick out of it. I think you like, let me see if I can get out of here without a dick going in me today. Let's see how creative I can get. But I give you that an A for your creativity. All I can say is that sensual play is very much underrated. That's all I can say. I can't. I mean, like, that shit is sexy. But we'll get to some of that shit. We'll get to some of that shit. Let's see. Let's catch up on these and then we're going to wrap it up. Go ahead. Where are we at? Sometimes it's the energy that that is enough. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Yep. Yep. It says, Red Ready says that we did that for years before we started playing. Yes. Right. Right. Yes. And we've met couples like that. Then they said, we're pretty slutty now, but that's beside the point. We ain't talking about that. Oh, again, they got a bunch of laughs after that one. So, again, I think that they're going to close us out with that comment, man. We can't beat that one at all. So, listen, ladies and gentlemen, thank y'all so much for joining us in this episode. Thanks for the comments, all the questions, all the fun. We really appreciate this community of people, man. Y'all make it worthwhile, man. I cannot believe we creeping up on six years. Let's keep on rolling. Let's keep on rolling. That's it, babe. Great episode. That was fun. Thank you. All right, honey bun. All right. Oh, go ahead. Somebody there. Oh, Trish, you are talking people through their orgasms. You are coaching. I am. I am. I be in there. You do. You are a sight to behold. Hey, look, when we tell that other story, when we help my friends in the configuration. The contraption. No, the contraption configuration on Friday. Yeah, you're going to see how I helped. That was contraption number two. I helped that out. You did. All right, people, we'll catch y'all next time. All right. Bye. Again, we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us. To everyone who couldn't join us live in the suite, check out our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Play, and iHeartRadio. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. Feel free to email us at livingthesweetlifepodcast at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Instagram at thesweetlifepodcast and on Twitter don't forget to subscribe to us on our youtube channel at living the sweet life podcast so that you can be a sweet talker the next time so do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests until next time keep living the sweet life. Bye!