The Witching Hour

Transcript

Speaker1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you are. I hope you have blue skies, a breeze on your back, and sand between your toes. Right now, I certainly do not. It is cold and miserable, and I don't like this, and I miss bikini season. Welcome to the Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Leave Vanilla behind as we talk about The Witching Hour. This show is for adults only. We will talk about sex, relationships, the lifestyle, and ethical monogamy in an honest way with lots of real talk. If you are under 18, this is your only warning to go find a different show right now. Around here on the beaches of sexual freedom, consent, education, and good times, everyone is welcome. Lifestyle vanilla or the curious. Whatever your gender identity, expression, truth, flavor, you are welcome here. I do my best to use inclusive language though you may hear words like husband or wife or partner or woman. If you want to connect, you can send me an email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com. Go to my website, thatotherlifestyle.com. And I want to mention, you can go to stdhero.com. Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order there. Testing takes the community to make a difference, so get STI tested and be safe out there, everyone. For the best lifestyle parties, check out risquelifestyleparties.com. We love their vibe, attitude, and always have fun, and I promise you will, too. Hi, I already mentioned that it's cold as balls outside. I also want to call this out. I did not do an episode last week. You may have noticed that. My dog died. That's it. No grand adventures to share. My dog, my friend of 17 years, passed away last week. I was admittedly not in the proper state to write or record an episode, so I gave myself grace on that. I am back this week. I am back to talk to you about a single hour or a night or a day, the last hour. This episode comes with a story setting it up. This episode is about the witching hour. If you have been around the lifestyle long enough, you learn. You know when the night shifts, the energy changes. Conversations mutate from where do you live to what's your playstyle. Questions get a little more direct and the answers matter a lot more. People stand closer, lean in, ask, want. A time when people realize what is at stake, as the clock ticks ever onward. They roll the dice. If they win, yay, sex. If they lose, it's a quiet trek back to their empty hotel room. Talking about the witching hour, what the fuck is that, Jason? I'm going to tell you. For New Year's Eve this year, last year, 2025, like a couple of weeks ago, January is the worst fucking month because it never ends. Five fucking weeks of cold. Anyway, we were at the risque party in Baton Rouge. The next risque party is Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras, March 13th to 15th, 2026. Tickets are available at RisquéLifestyleParties.com. Me and my wife are going to be there. We're going to look fabulous, and you should come party with us. But Jason, that's after Mardi Gras. Technically, how can there be a Mardi Gras party after Mardi Gras? Mardi Gras is in February this year, and it's like two weeks away, like right around Valentine's Day. The guy who puts on the party, the owner, the host, this is smart. He throws his Mardi Gras-themed party after Mardi Gras, so we don't have to juggle about juggling parades and balls and real Mardi Gras shit. Still, you can use the same costumes. March 13th through the 15th, 2026, RisquéLifestyleParties.com. This story happened, this idea just stated, on December 30th, the night before New Year's Eve. And it percolated in my brain at about 1228 a.m. that night because a friend told me about it. So, set the stage for everyone. Prior to the party, my wife and I talked on the ride over, and we decided no fuckery with anyone on this trip. It's an easy conversation for us now, and I can see for newbies this might be a little hard to articulate it and work through it. I promise it is worth going through this. No fuckery for us. My wife wants to dance all night, and depending on my personal mood, I usually want to hang out with people I never get to see versus getting naked. Making this decision ahead of time is liberating because we don't have to worry about the witching hour. We don't have to line up anything ahead of time. No awkward conversations. No need to hold time and space for anyone. Then, oh look, the guy with the Lifestyle Swinger podcast decided to be no swap for two nights. Yes, it is a valid fucking choice we can make and you can do it too. We are welcomed in lifestyle spaces without the intention of rubbing our wet genitals on anyone else's wet genitals. We don't fucking announce it. It's just a decision we make. And here's a secret. I'm going to blow some minds. Lots of people make this choice before a party or event starts, which can make the witching hour tricky for other people. I encourage people to have these conversations as a couple ahead of time. There is nothing worse than you meet a sexy couple, you bring them over to your spouse, and then you have to decide in that moment, hey, are we going to fuck these people? Are we going to fuck around with these relative strangers right now? Are we going to go to a second location and put our mouths on each other's genitals? watching this, this marital negotiation going on, and they're doing the same exact thing to you, and it is awkward. I love watching awkward, being a part of it, not so much anymore. Can't handle that shit. I can see this happen, though. Talk ahead of time. Talk through your plans. Talk through possibilities. Think about the perspective of the couple that is propositioning you and your spouse in that moment. They're interested in you too, but now they're pulled into an awkward, silent conversation while you two are trying to figure this shit out telepathically. between you and your spouse, while everyone is just standing there trying to figure out what to do next. Save lots of headaches and decide ahead of time whether you are open to fuckery that night. And now, because I am on a tangent, there is a middle ground. There is a middle answer. Well, we could be open to fuckery with the right couple tonight, but not really looking for anything. Wishy-washy back and forth. Cool. You are leaving your possible sex capades up to chance. That's called gambling, and the house always wins. At least at a minimum, know whether you and your spouse are open to fuckery. into having sex with other people even if it is the right people don't have to name specific people in that moment but clear this shit up before the party starts one of our friend couples they were at the risque party too and i love them they're wonderful people and funny enough they also decided to go no swap for this party and i know i make this sound harsh it's not my wife's attitude is she wears these elaborate fucking costumes that she doesn't want to take off and she would just rather dance all night and me i am the unreliable the chaos, so I don't care anymore. I'm good with it. Anyone I really want to fuck, I can make plans with another night. Our friends were in the same spot. They wanted to dance and party all night, and I mention this because someone out there is going to think, well, why don't you just fuck your friends that night? Because we don't have to fuck around at every party with everyone we know. We can establish healthy boundaries with our friends depending on the night. Anyway, I digress. Back to the story. It was about 1230 a.m. DJ changes around midnight. DJ faves. I've had him on the show before. He always plays from 9 to 12. And then another DJ comes on. There's a subtle change in the air when that happens. Like a bunch of gazelle noticing a lion in the grass. People start scanning the crowd looking wanting. Go to enough parties and you're going to notice this shit. You can feel it. A wave of oh shit mixed with horny. Metric shit ton more eye contact happening. In even house parties this is going to happen. There's an awkward silence. at a house party, and then boom, someone is naked and looking to grab a dick. You learn to recognize it, and some people live for this. It means their chances of getting laid just went up. You feel the energy start to flux and flow and bend and bulge. This is the witching hour. The term witching hour has its origins in medieval European folklore. It refers to a time late at night, usually after midnight, where supernatural forces boogity-booty like ghosts and spirits are at their strongest. People believed this was the time when witches were doing spooky shit, which I know for a fact I know some witches and they can do spooky shit anytime they want. By the 18th century, writers used the term like I am today to describe a time of night where weird things happen. And really, I use this kindly and this is no offense to anyone, it just fits for what I need to talk about today. And this is not just an hour either. It could be the last day of a cruise, the last night of a hotel takeover, the last hour of the party. The last elevator ride back to your hotel room. We have been to takeovers where that last night, we got hit on hard all night. People we have never spoken to before decided it was time to take their shot. Yes, people will ask to have sex with you before they know your name. It's kind of cool sometimes. At one takeover, my wife and I, we were just hanging out in the lobby of the ballroom because at this one, it was just too damn hot to go inside. We had a lot of people approach us. Numerous people tried. is different approaches on us. Here's a bit of advice. If someone asks you to go back to their room, they want to fuck you. Oh, no, Jason, not in every case. Maybe they, you know, want to share some delicious candy or something. I don't know. I couldn't think of a better example. Whatever. I feel in enough cases that this is true that we can overlook the very small percentage of times when it is not true and say it is fucking true. Anytime a swinger wants you to go to a second location with them, bar, house, abandoned quarry, they want to fuck you. Same thing happened to us on the last lifestyle cruise we went on. And the cruise, I have to mention the cruise. Okay, the cruise. My wife and I are going to be on the fantasy cruise leaving out of Tampa, February 11th to the 17th. I am not selling anything for them. They are not paying me. I'm just saying, hey, I'm going to be on this ship. Come find me. Say hi. I'm going to be hanging out at all the risque lifestyle events that they're doing on the boat. The last cruise we went on, that last day, lots more people talked to us. more attention that night. So yeah, the witching hour is fucking real, whether it's an hour, a day, a minute, however long. Back to Risque. My friend and I are standing off to the side of the dance floor. We're vibing, enjoying her radiant company. She's one of those people that just lights up a room, even in a dark ballroom. I can get a tan just standing next to this woman. She tells me that she just got propositioned by a dude she has not talked to all night. Never seen this dude before. And I look at her, I was like, really? And she said yes. He walked over, did a quick introduction of him and his wife, and asked if my friend and her husband wanted to go back to their room and fuck around. So she tells me, watch out, the witching hour has started. And of fucking course, that became an episode as soon as she told me that. For the lifestyle, the witching hour is the moment in the night when the whole crowd realizes what time it is. They want to do what they know what they want to do in the remaining time they have left, and they need to find someone to fuck. Jason, that sounds crass. Yes, I know. But it's also fucking honest, y'all. Motherfuckers who ain't talked to you all night long are suddenly going to become very chatty. The question of what is your play style is going to float through the air a whole lot. People will straight up ask, you want to go to our room for a drink? You want to go back to our room? And the ever popular, oh, the ever fucking popular one. Here we go. Ready? Wanna fuck? Dudes, my dudes. I have it on good authority. from every woman that I know and I have surveyed them all. Wanna fuck? Women don't like that question, okay? I respect being direct. I am direct. Not like that. The general consensus from all the women, the ones with the vaginas that you want, that question dries out their vaginas so damn fast. It is not a good thing to say and it is not going to work. If it does work, it probably has more to do with the amount of alcohol someone drank versus actual attraction. So guys, do better than you wanna fuck. I watched as couples started bouncing around, talking more socializing, leaning in to ask questions, and then the exodus begins. Two by two, couples leave the ballroom to head upstairs, never to return. Then the whole game plays out over the course of an hour, leaving behind the ones who just want to keep dancing and raving, or those who struck out, still clinging to hope. To my vanilla listeners, who may be very confused right now, us go some disparaging comments about asking someone you wanna fuck. That still stands. To those vanilla people who are wondering about this, so yeah, depending on the circumstances and the people asking for sex and then having sex is actually really fucking easy. This isn't an insult. I'm not judging anyone. Not meant that way. Some people are just down to fuck and all it takes is asking. Establish a few ground rules, ask about the boundaries, and that is it. There is no long-winded conversation. There is no seduction. I don't have to take you off for a steak dinner. I don't need to know personal details about you besides whether or not you have a fucking latex allergy. These people want to fuck. You want to fuck. So you fuck. It's direct and simple and it happens. It totally fucking happens. I know porn can misrepresent the lifestyle a whole bunch, but this? This does happen. The witching hour ain't just a lifestyle thing. You've seen it. It happens at bars when it's closing time and the lights come on. Last calls, last chances, humans haunted by endings they cannot handle. For the lifestyle people listening, the witching hour should be your last shot at finding something for the night, not your first. If you suddenly remember that you were a swinger after midnight and decide, now is the time to go find a friend for the night, you fucked up. That is not to say you can find a friend during the witching hour, but this is gambling and we need to put the odds in our favor. And this also applies to sex clubs and parties and wherever you might be. The witching hour is not really about sex. the act. This hour is about fear, ego, loneliness, the call of lust mixed with hope colliding in a single moment. People stop pretending to care. Stop pretending they don't know what the fuck they are here for and start revealing their realness. They want to get it on. So should you line up fun for the night ahead of time? Maybe. Yes. No. That depends. Nice, vague fucking answer there, Jason. Good job. If you have a friend already designated for the night, then you don't have to worry about the witching hour. Easy, right? Line with the fucker ahead of the party. Be clear and concise on expectations. Hey, tonight, would you like to go upstairs with me at midnight and you and your spouse and all of us engage in horizontal cardio? Are you open to this idea? They will say yes, no, or maybe. Yes is good. No is actually kind of good too. This means you're free to pursue other interests. Maybe suck. Maybe is the worst answer. Way too many variables. is in play to determine on your side of the equation what the fuck is happening later. For many people, the ones who went through the trouble to dress up, get a night away, find somewhere to put the kids, buy tickets, buy drinks, the witching hour is their last chance to get laid. Lay the groundwork for the fuckery before it's too late. Talk to people, socialize, get a feel for people. Then go talk to your spouse, right? I see people fuck this up. Picking on men here, but women can do this too, I think. I've seen women do this. A dude is going to spend a long time chatting up a couple, feeling them out, locking down interest, and then bring them to his wife for approval. This is wrong and bad and dumb and ass backwards. First, that dude spent all of this time talking to a couple that may not pay off, so that's called a waste of time. Second, his wife was not involved in these discussions at all, so now she has to do a rapid assessment of whether or not that other dude should be allowed to put his penis inside of her. Third, that other couple is now in a spot where they don't know what the fuck is happening. The other couple might double down into sales mode, try to convince the wife to join them, or they could be turned off by the blatant lack of communication and synergy between this couple. Do your initial socializing as a couple. Do it as a team. You're looking for couples that you think you can click with later. We are not committing to anyone at this point. You're just feeling out the situation. And do not worry because people are doing this to you. parties by the way when the witching hour starts there are a couple of different types of people i've seen operating at these events the hunters they know what they want they will be direct with you most likely they could be a little indirect they're probably going to be very direct i can tell you every fucking conversation you have during the witching hour with somebody you don't know or even somebody you do know every conversation could be a prelude to fuckery the hunters they're looking to get laid they will run through couples quickly they hit up a couple that couple says no, they're going to bounce to the next one. Your personality does not matter in this, all right? Either you're willing to engage with them or not. Binary operation. They don't care where you work. Your hobby is the last time you change the oil in your car. Do you want to have sex with them? Yes or no? I've seen men do this solo, as in they find a couple and then bring them back to their wife. Talked about that. I've also seen couples work as a team. The husband talks to the other wife and the wife talks to the other husband. You know, switch your route right there. It's separate and they work it. Being the observant bastard I am, there's also some serious coordination in these hunter couples. Body positioning, touching, signaling, and then they invite you back to the room. It's fascinating. Hunters are the most direct way to find a willing couple for the night. And there's nothing wrong with this. But know what you were doing here. You were indiscriminately trying to find someone to fuck you for the night. I promise that sex ain't going to be good. To be more successful as a hunter, stop fucking waiting till midnight to go talk to people. Lay the seeds ahead of time. And look, if two hunter couples find each other, yay, sex! That's really how most of these interactions happen during the witching hour. Two couples find each other, they know exactly what they want, and then they go find a room. This goes back to talk to your spouse before the event. Set clear boundaries with each other so you know how to operate in these moments. If y'all want to go hunting for the night, do it. There's going to be other hunters in that room you can click with. And I gotta be the bad guy here and tell you there is a difference between confidence and desperation. The witching hour makes people forget that. People stop caring about chemistry and connection and vibes and consent and emotional safety. They just want a yes from someone, anyone. Do not be fucking flattered here. You are an option, not a choice in this situation. And let's dispense with any subtlety here. A lot of people go to swinger events because they are swingers and they want to have sex with other people. It's not complicated, okay? That's what happens. We can just stop pretending. It's not, okay? It happens. The next type of people you will meet during the witching hour, they keep it even more simple than that. One question, automatons. This person has a checklist in their head and they need a series of yes or no answers to questions to continue the conversation, such as, are our play styles compatible? Yes. Are you attractive? Yes. Are you attracted to them? No. And that ends the conversation. You can't even call it a conversation, more of an interrogation, like a program run by a computer. Don't do this. Don't pepper people with a And I know if a person asks about our playstyle, within two minutes of talking to us, I get it. You want to fuck us. I get it. There is a way to gracefully get the information you want from a conversation, not just with questions. Another person you will find during the witching hour is just the partiers. I wish I had a cooler name for them, and I don't. They just want to party. They're not actually interested in the fuckery. They want to dance all night, and they probably have other plans. Make life easier for everyone, okay? You see a hot woman, maybe a hot man, dancing during the witching hour. Think about what they're doing at that moment. While everyone else is trying to find someone to spend a few sweaty, regretful minutes with, they're dancing. You will probably not convince them to stop dancing and go to a hotel room with you. Can't catch a hint, Charlie's and Endless Conversation carols. I don't think I know a Charlie or a Carol, so I should be safe using their names for examples and alleration. Some people don't realize that the conversation you're currently having with them is a prelude, nay, an interview for fuckery. Some people don't catch the fucking hint, and I don't want to say dense, but they aren't just, they're not getting it, right? I'm not trying to be an asshole here, but you know what I mean. They genuinely love talking and just want to keep talking, or they genuinely are not good at transitioning to sexy conversation and or sexy time. They just don't get it. If you're a hunter, these people will suck up your precious time, so always have an out. Say, oh, I need a drink or I need to run to the restroom. Grab your spouse, leave nothing behind, and keep on searching. The other option is you just be direct and it's like, no, we're not doing this tonight and you walk away. You can be direct with people. I've done this with some ladies. My infamous battle cries sit on my face. And hey, it's simple. Hey, I want to have sex with you at some point tonight. Are you interested in that? They're going to say yes, no, or maybe. I get the answer. I can then figure out my next steps for the night. going, you want to fuck? Don't do that. Once all the negotiations are done and people start clearing out of the party spaces, you are going to be left with two groups. That party crowd I talked about, the ones who just won a rave all night, and the last lions. The lions, these are the people who did not get lucky during the witching hour, and they're still trying to figure out if they have a shot with anyone. I can say confidently, if you're standing in a crowd of party people, they want to keep partying, and you will probably not have much luck. Go to bed, go to bed. You will keep striking out and that will hurt your ego and not feel good. Just go the fuck to bed. Lick your wounds and try again another night. So this does not encompass everyone. People will get frustrated early and go to bed. People will be wallflowers who are waiting to be approached by a hunter couple. Some are invisible. They're not really hunters or partiers. They're just watching, maybe hoping to get noticed or hoping to not get noticed. Some people are standoffish and then wonder why no one talks to them. Some people gather their ten heathens together and just go do an orgy. Some people will disappear all night back to their rooms and watch TV. Some people will get shit-faced or drunk and be a headache for their spouses. And oh, the alcohol. Dirty, filthy alcohol. The wishing hour gives those with liquid courage a place to shine. Enough liquor and everything gets blurry and distorted and fun. Boundaries blur. People can get grabby out of desperation. Those red flags that looked really, really red at the start of the night, They might look a little more green with enough white claws and tequila. People say yes to people they would not have said yes to a few hours ago, and come morning, with the pain of a hangover, there is sweet, sweet regret. During the witching hour, if you were looking for quick, probably not great sex with strangers, my best advice is be approachable. Smile, make eye contact. That's what the fuck people are looking for. You make eye contact with somebody, you are locked in. The irony here is the witching hour is actually when most people will find sex and is also when the worst sex possible happens. No connection, barely a discussion of personal likes and wants, just total mismatch energy. One couple is sober, the other couple is shit-faced, or turns out you ended up with a lady who likes to use her teeth on everything. But still, people are still going to try because loneliness can feel like failure, which feels worse than bad sex. Like the kind of sex where you go back to your room and just finish yourself off. The kind of sex that afterwards you were pissed because it sobered you up halfway through and realized what the fuck you were doing. The kind of sex where you both feel like you took one for the team and nobody won the game. And my wife, because she's my wife, wanted to point out, as I was writing this episode and she was in my office, Jason, where do you fall in all of this, you hypocritical bastard? I will tell you, I went to bed that night at risque. My wife wanted to dance all night. I think I was in bed for like one. And she was safe with friends, so I just went up to my room and I went to bed like a responsible adult. I had a few drinks. I just went to bed. Have I engaged in the Witching Hour festivities? Yep, certainly have. Probably back when we started the lifestyle, first party we went to, yeah. We were not successful at it and have not been successful at finding new friends during the Witching Hour, so meh, I don't try. I know people who are successful at it, so do not let my I share all this. I share all that to be vulnerable with you because I have felt the sting of the witching hour. I have felt the special kind of quiet that comes with loneliness where either you don't get picked or you never ask or you get picked last. It sucks. It fucking sucks and I'm not going to sit here and pretend it doesn't. Being wanted is not the same as being chosen. The flip side, you could be the one saying no. You could be the one making a decision, Not to engage Then on that side of it too The witching hour can be brutal and honest In the worst kind of way Worst human way possible The witching hour reveals who you are When rejection happens Suddenly everyone is picking teams for dodgeball And you and your spouse don't get picked Or you strike out all night Yeah, that happens That would be a bad podcast host If I told you that you would get lucky 100% of the time Because you fucking won't Now, you will miss 100% of the shots you don't take or try or if you just stand off to the side and hope that someone comes to talk to you. That's why you need to be proactive about this. Fortune favors the bold. Better to be the one asking instead of the one waiting to be asked. Alright, let's get real. This is the point where I turn the chair around and I sit really cool. People used to do that in like the movies in the 90s. Did anyone actually do that in real life? I think I've seen one person do it in real life. when I was in school. It looked kind of dumb when he did it. Anyway, you may not get picked or asked or you could get turned down during the witching hour. You will be turned down in the lifestyle. You just need to fucking accept that. Not everyone will want to have sex with you because of reasons. Their reasons. You will strike the fuck out. I know I have, so I share this from experience. Rejection is not a measure of your self-worth or your value or your attractiveness. It's really not. The logical brain, will tell you this. Your emotional fucking lizard brain will not accept this logic. I know it won't. It does not feel good. If you were the person doing your rejection, I ask you, please be kind. Hopefully people get to the point with, you know, they get the point with the first no, and you don't have to escalate to jackass territory. Now, you could. I mean, if they don't take the no, then yes, you need to escalate. But in general, try to be nice. If you're the one being rejected, Understand that this other person is allowed to say no to you. The emotional lizard brain will still have his feelings hurt. I will fucking tell you that. I wish I could offer some kind of deep wisdom or sage advice for this. I can't. It just sucks. Some people will keep swinging away. Take the no and just try again with a different couple. I admire that shit. Some will get one no and just call it a night. I've done that. Figure out who you are before the party and how many times you plan on swinging that night. The witching hour is on. There is a difference between wanting connection and wanting fuckery. This time of the night blurs the line between those two. People tell themselves they are looking for chemistry when really they just don't want to go back to their room alone or feel unwanted. The witching hour is not kind, nor is it unkind. Some are lucky and some are not. Some hold on to hope, some give up. By 1am, the ballroom is always a little emptier. The group of party people have coalesced onto the dance floor. Stracklers hang out in the shadows, afraid to approach each other. And maybe someone had their feelings hurt. Maybe someone one did get fucked tonight. The hallways of the hotel are quiet. The screams and moans of sex give way to the quiet hum of air conditioners. The witching hour is the lifestyle distilled down to a single moment, a point in time. There is something poetic about that shit. A question, a simple question. Would you like to have sex with me? Stretched out, condensed, hanging in the air like laundry. I saw this interplay of humanity that night at Risque. I have seen it before at other parties and events. The casual observer of the human condition. There are fumbles, fuck-ups, and frantic attempts. going on in the dark corners of all of these rooms, and I love it. One last note in these conversations you may have during this weird hour. Ask about testing. These may be total fucking strangers from another state that you are now thinking about having sex with. Testing should be a part of that discussion. Share your test results. STD Hero is in the process of launching something fucking amazing, something people in the community have been asking about for years. I will keep everyone posted on this. I promise you're going to like this. Thank you for listening and tuning in every week. Make sure you tell a friend about the show. Thank you to the love of my life, my wife, who is on this wonderful journey with me. If you want to reach out, ask a question, suggest a topic, send me an email to host at thatofthelifestyle.com. My website is thatofthelifestyle.com. My personal disclaimer, I'm not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I'm a guy with microphones sharing my personal experiences with you. For entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode. Go to stdhero.com. Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order and get tested. Plus, it supports the show. Whatever you may do today or tonight, please stay warm. I hope you do it with enthusiasm, consent, curiosity, and a little bit of spice. You are appreciated and loved, and I will see you for the next episode.