Blank Page, Full Hearts: Writing New Stories in the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies, a breeze on your back, and sand between your toes. Welcome to the Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about the blank white page. This show is for adults only. We will talk about sex, relationships, the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy in a very honest way with no coded language. If you're under 18, this is your oldest Only warning to get the fuck out and go find a new show. Around here on the beaches of sexual freedom, consent, education, and good times, everyone is welcome. Lifestyle, vanilla, or the curious. Whatever your gender identity, expression, truth, flavor, you are welcome here, my friend. I do my best to use inclusive language, though you may hear words like husband or wife or man or woman to keep my life simple. You want to connect, you can send me an email to host at thatofthelifestyle.com. Go to stdhero.com and use my promo code TOL15. for 15% off your order. That also helps out the show. Testing takes the community to make a difference, so get STI tested and be safe out there. For the best lifestyle parties, check out risquélifestyleparties.com. We went to the Mardi Gras party last weekend. The next party is going to be in Fort Walton Beach, Florida, the first weekend of May. Big-ass glow party. It's going to be amazing. Before I get into the episode, I will be launching something new. Soonish. But oh, Jason, You said that last year and you didn't do shit. Well now I'm doing it. I'm putting together a yet to be named new awesome project. I never want to ask or take from people without giving back something I think is of equal or better value and I think I finally figured it out. Come with me to the episode heathens. The blank white page. The bane of creators, artists, and writers throughout time. A space of empty that mocks those with ideas to share its barren invite to fucking attempt. with everyone that I no longer wake up at 2 a.m. and write that much. I then proved myself completely fucking wrong by waking up early Monday morning after a week in a party, unable to sleep at 2.30 a.m. There was nothing wrong, no lingering thoughts or regrets about the weekend to sift through, nothing to spin up or spin through my mind. This time I got up because I needed to look at this white page on my computer and write something. That bastard obligation of needing a script for the week, I wanted to attack it with full force early Monday morning. I was fired up and ready. I had my coffee in my hand, my cat on my desk. Yes, ready to write something. Anything. Wisdom, jokes, mistakes, stories. Just write something. But what to write? Some people look at a blank page with dread and apprehension. That looming lack of substance staring at them in the face, taunting them to do something. Something. Anything. Anything. The white page making it a fine stand, waving his proverbial arms wide, calling the warriors of wit to dare scrawl a mark on his pristine beauty. Now we'll keep determined that morning, wrapped in a bathrobe, yes, ready now to conquer this page because it is new. And therein lies the idea. The newness, the novelty of even a simple act of writing out a script is exciting. What will this be? What potential lies here in these words to share? What conversations or ideas will will spark something in the listener. Questions, doubts, inspiration, passion, regret, connection. Just like the questions and doubts and inspirations and passions and regrets and connections that new friendships, ha-ha, in a lifestyle can cause. That lovely objectifying moment at a hotel takeover when two people lock eyes and both decide independently if that stranger over there is good, sexy, appealing, compelling. How do we decide if that couple is worthy of this blank white page we have? Can we write a story with them or crumble up the paper and move on? What is the process for making that decision in a moment, in a text, in a conversation? Because between two couples across the dance floor, their stretch is a white empty page. Lit up by colored lights, sure. But what story could exist between them? Which one is brave enough to take a step closer to strike the first key to make the first word come alive? Which one is going to let writer's block win? to bitch. It happens. I write thousands of words every week, and there are times when I haven't a fucking clue what I'm trying to say. The way I deal with it is, just blurt it out onto the page. Just say whatever I want to say. No eloquence, no wordsmithing, just blurt it out. Said simply and directly. Then the editing, then the making it sound pretty part. In real life, we don't have the advantage of editing. We stand in front of a couple we are interested in, and the words we want to say jumble in our throats, worried that they It will land wrong when really all we have to do is just blurt it out. What do you want? What do you want to say? What do you want this other person to know? What will be the first word you put down on that empty page? Just blurt the fucker out. Just say it. That's how I handle writer's block. That's how I handle not knowing what to say in a conversation. Just blurt it out. That is the first strike of the pen as we figure out who this other couple is. And personally, I don't break my writer's block when I'm actually writing stuff with wistful watching outside a window or calm breaks or walks through nature or cupping a mug of tea in two hands with a cardigan draped over my shoulders. I'm not really sure why that image is in my head of when I think about writer's block, but it is. None of that works for me. A lot of times, I just listen to really loud, heavy metal and shit happens. All I can tell somebody is just blurt it out onto the to a page or to a person and just let those words hit. Let the words pierce another person's mind and soul and let them now hold those words in their head. Roll them around and see what happens. Like this ain't hard. Give them a compliment. Walk up and say hi. Be brave and just yell out, sit on my face. Sometimes that works. That has worked. Sometimes it freaks you out when it works. Be brave because that piece of white paper between two couples will stay empty. The story of two Couples Will Stay Empty Until Someone Makes a Fucking Move. A conversation is empty until someone says something, anything. The worst that will happen is they say no. The page stays empty, ready for someone else, another person, to write a story with you. There's a lot of potential in a white page, just like there's a lot of potential in a new engagement, one-night stand, friendship, or more in the lifestyle. We never really know where anything will go in this life, like we never know what the story will end up being, or when we write or create something. Sometimes I just start saying a sentence and I don't know where it's going to end. Oh my god, I love that reference. I hope you get that reference. A chance meeting at a bar or eyes locked can lead to the best friendships or a missed connection. A dance in a hotel takeover can lead to a lot of wanting and a lot of disappointment. A yes from four people can lead to amazing sex or that icky sex where you're feeling after it's just an awkward ride home with your spouse in the car. That's what Makes this shit fun, right? One of the driving factors in many people joining the lifestyle is the novelty, the newness. The novelty of sex and friendships and partying, the break from the mundane lives, the experience of a new sexual partner in a safe and accepting manner without worry of infidelity. Even for couples who have been in this for years, we can still get fired up by a new experience, lost in the lust of a new person. It's fucking beautiful when it happens. Sure, we can become desensitized and it takes a fuck ton to get our but when someone does grab it they got it that attention though has a cost we have to ask is this worth it is this friendship whatever it is new person worth our limited resources of time and attention those calculations that we're running in the background those are our personal vetting process and it's not a formal checklist unless oh my if you're actually the kind of person who makes a formal checklist And please, there is no need to cringe. Most of us have been there. Unsure of what we wanted or even liked. Willing to entertain the most noxious behavior. Because when people start in the lifestyle, all attention is good attention, right? Yeah. In time, we realize that is not fucking true. And learn to read the flags better. Learn what qualities and others we find attractive. Actually attractive, not just available in the moment. Experience gives way to knowing, and knowing what a couple wants and are attracted to makes the moments when you find it really special. It allows a person to lose themselves in the story, confident in their selections and choices. And losing oneself in the looking, the longing, same as when I start writing a script and have no idea where it's going to end up at, sometimes it all comes together like really, really quickly, and I can just knock this thing out in a day. Sometimes it takes a week. Same thing with people. Sometimes sex. with a new couple? Can happen really, really quick. Consent is boom, done. Conversations are quick and it all literally just locks together. The flow state is achieved where I can write out a thousand words an hour or make a woman laugh. The narrative may fight back. I will say that. The potential with a new couple may fight back. Schedules, life, vanilla bullshit conspire to delay. The words of the story just don't want to come together. And I can tell you, whenever I'm writing, I have to make a decision sometimes, and if it just isn't working, I can walk away. With a couple, there's a point of decision where trying to continue to try to write these beautiful words, same as continuing to try to connect with a couple after months of persistence, or do you just give up? Accept the time that was sunk into it, decide to move on and find a better story to write. I can't tell you how many scripts I have started and thrown out. Half the time, I don't even save them. Some slightly underbaked idea that never really came together, deleted forever from the universe. And I can't tell you how many connections with humans unconnected because of timing or lack of effort on everyone's part or no one's part. I can say from experience, though, persistence pays off in this. That couple that could take six months to finally have a date with, they usually end up being really, really cool people. The mutual desire, if it is there, is fucking worth it and let it motivate you. How rare is it in the world that people pursue and try anything for months? Our brains are now trained on 15 seconds of attention at a time, furiously swiping the instant we are no longer hooked on social media. Some people have this attitude that, oh, if we can't fuck this couple tonight, right now, in the next ten minutes, this is not worth pursuing passed on. This whole fucking event was just pointless and a waste of fucking time and money, and I will never go back because we did not get laid by random strangers tonight. Oh, woe unto us. If all the stars do not align right now, what is even the point of all this? We trade ease of access for the potential of long-term growth. We drink the cheap whiskey instead of letting it age, then complain about the hangover the next morning while staring at spouse, not with regret, but just indifference towards the whole night. Newness is beautiful in its emptiness. Pursuit is passion, the words spilling onto the blank page. But often, pages stay blank for a reason. There is a tension here, the tension of what could be. Running cost-benefit analysis, risk-reward on another person. That's our vetting process and action, choosing whether or not to leave that piece of paper blank. And in that tension lies the decisions we make whether to pursue a couple or a partner. Or how much, and I have to ask though, how much of that decision is dictated just by lust? Lust on its surface is simply wanting something new. There's a connotation of, ooh, it's about sex woven into the spine of this concept. Maybe something naughty or sinful. For our purposes, for me, lust is pure wanting. Lacking a better word to denote what I want to convey, We can lust for sensations, people, that sort of thing. Lust is the deviation from the norm. The norm we are told to accept every single day. The routine, the rituals that bring order to life, that trap us. I can tell you this, before the lifestyle, I did not notice the darkness that had trapped my life until there was a light. No matter how dim that light is, when you're in a pitch black room, The smallest light shines the brightest. Lust is that little light telling us that there is more, that there is more to the story. And in the lifestyle, lust definitely motivates a lot of things. They've motivated me to do some really, really dumb shit. Lust must be balanced between desire and discernment. Pure sexual radiant lust for another person, just that, that real horny, horny. I can tell everyone, it can be a painful, wild experience that fucking lingers on the soul and in hard conversations. That lusty lust, right? It can lead to ruin and woe. That desire that you feel will drown out every fucking thought and reason that you have. It will make the sane man crazy and the calmest woman hysterical. Desire is strong, and desire can lead to disappointing sex, the kind of sex that you need to go masturbate after to go feel something. The kind of sex that makes you wonder what the fuck was the point of taking off your pants. The kind of sex that leads to your spouse taking one for the team. The other extreme. Discernment. The other half. Discernment when it's cranked up to 11. Usually motivated by either standards that are never achievable or attainable or just trauma suffered from previous unenjoyable encounters. People who hold themselves to such a high standard in the lifestyle they're is so damn high, nothing is good enough for them. They will always be fucking disappointed. So we have two extremes here that we have to weave together and find the balance between the two to figure out, is this worth taking off my pants? Desire is simple. It is that surge of adrenaline caused by another person. It is a want. I am attracted to this person on a physical, mental, or emotional level. And don't discount the mental or emotional level. I often hear from people that someone may not be their type physically, but holy shit, personality goes a long fucking way to determining attraction. We all have preferences. We all have physical preferences. I think I did an episode on this. It is okay to have preferences, but don't get locked into those preferences for physical features. Don't get so locked in that there's no other possibilities. Discernment is the rational side of this problem. to discern if this other person is worth sharing your body, time, and attention with. It is honesty in motion. And we should be honest with ourselves about attraction. Too often people fall into the trap of looking physically fucking stunning, sexy, potential fuck buddies. And the experience leaves them unfulfilled because that sexy motherfucker has the sexual prowess of a soggy pillow. Desire and discernment. Attraction and Decisions will need to be made here. Desire. That's an easy one to define. Do you want to fuck them? Discernment, though? Still kind of trickier. Discernment is a lot to process at one time in the moment. Is there physical attraction? Well, that one's real fucking easy. I'll give you a real-life example of me being discerned. I think that might be the way to say it. Is it a personal attack against me? Fuck no. They probably had a bad experience with a beard that was not as soft and luxurious as mine, and now they find all men with beards unattractive. Or they think it looks like I have pubes in my face. Whatever the fucking reason. They have their criteria and I don't fit it. That's okay. As my wife says, you will not be everyone's cup of tea. Accept it. People will look at you at an event or a sex club or online and immediately make a snap judgment about you and their physical attraction. towards you in two seconds. You have been discerned. This is a harsh reality of the lifestyle. But Jason, if they get to know me, then maybe, yes, maybe, maybe, right? Okay. Remember, you're also in control of this process. You also have a part in the story to write, and if someone immediately decides that you're not worthy of their page for whatever reason, fuck them. That sounds mean, I know. Yes, I think there have been situations where women who don't like beards change their minds about my attractiveness after talking to me i have not pulled anyone to get hard data on this like i can't say it never happens that you know once somebody talks to you there then they'll get over physical features i don't know it can totally can but that requires talking and if someone is will and willing to you know talk to me based on how i look or your looks then what the fuck's the point of all this my time and attention attraction is just as limited as everyone else's just as limited as yours And I just gotta tell you, sexy does not make up for shitty personalities. Or sometimes it does. Everyone seems to have their own sliding scale of the bullshit they will tolerate in other people. How much is sexy weighted in the vetting process for you? People are willing to overlook really shitty personalities if the attraction is strong enough. I have seen this and I'm probably guilty of this myself. Oh, it's okay. That dude over there constantly fucking necks me and he's dumb as a box of rocks. He's cute. Ha ha. Look, this woman has those strong, mean girl vibes and is constantly insulting and gossiping about people. But she sure is pretty, right? This shit happens. I can't tell you. I can't tell you what to do. I have no guidance on this. It is just a fucking quirk of the lifestyle. Horny brain takes over and people will forgive or ignore a lot of bad behavior just to get their dicks wet. So, physical attraction, highly personal and objective viewpoint. Attraction, period, is highly personal and objective. What are the qualities that you find attractive in another person? What is on the checklist? Please don't write an actual physical checklist. Just keep it in your brain. What is on the checklist for fuckery and friendship? And the act of measuring a person against that checklist is discernment and action. Discernment and action is otherwise known as vetting. We are vetting other couples to see if they are worthy, wanted, and Welcome to write a new page with us. The vetting process. You may have heard this term before. Figuring out if a new couple that we just met is good, bad, ugly, or weird. Our process, me and my wife, has certainly evolved and anyone in the lifestyle is going to sympathize with this. Like I mentioned, when a couple starts in a lifestyle, I feel they go down one of two ways. Either everyone is good and worthy and great because you lack fucking reference, or everyone is bad and no one is good enough. Either every couple is worth the time, or no couple is worth the time. And yeah, I've met couples with standards so damn high, no one can meet them. Or couples who have no idea that standards exist. When people are new at this, all attention can feel like good attention, no matter the couple. Okay, it's not. It's really fucking not. With no frame of reference on what a red flag is or what is concerning behavior, the vetting process proves Robert does not have that many steps. Oh, look, this couple sent us a message. That's good enough for a date. Or, oh, they're willing. They're willing to fuck us. Okay, let's take our clothes off, right? That happens. Or on the other side, the couple has the most insane exacting fucking criteria. They are looking very specific here. They are looking for a single woman, blonde, between 5'2 and 5'4, exactly 103 pounds. I apologize to my international listeners. I did not convert that to metric. a woman who is bisexual and willing to participate in a threesome on a Thursday night at 6.03 p.m. She must smell like lavender, have no tattoos, shoe size 6, and so on and so on. Am I exaggerating? Yes, but not by much. Physical attraction is what it is, right? People can figure out that on their own. Looks to get your attention, looks to convince you to pull out your blank page and wave it at a couple asking, They're horny. We're all willing. Fuck it. Let's go, right? There is more. There could be more. There could be more depending on what a couple is looking for. My wife and I, we are not sport fuckers or one-night stand kind of people. I will go to an event and decide not to fuck around if I'm not feeling the kind of connection I want. Yes, we have a long fucking vetting process because what we want is hard to find. We invest a lot into our relationships and that matters to us. For us, we like repeat business. If you're interested in bang once and move on, fucking do it. No judgment from me. Do it. Everyone does a lifestyle differently with different dynamics and those dynamics matter. The dynamics between two couples have to align. So taking a step back. There's two parts to this alignment that you need to consider during your vetting process. Alignment as a couple. So you start talking to a new couple. the vetting process has initiated. There is a blank piece of paper between you and you are trying to figure out what's up. The alignment as a couple. So you're talking to two people. Are both people actually fucking interested in doing this? Is one person doing all of the work and the other one is just kind of like standing there tagging along? Is one person doing all the talking and the other person you can hear the fucking wind whistling through their ears because they just don't give two shits? Is the wife or the husband appearing like they're they are they mutually interested in both I've seen this shit, okay? And yeah, granted, in our merit, I'm the public relations, and I do a whole lot of the talking. My wife tends to be really, really quiet through chat, texting. In person, complete fucking opposite. We're both giving our own due here, right? But if you're in person, and one person's doing all the talking, and the other person is just, like, standing there, that's kind of fucked up, because I'm clicking with the wife. Like, the dude is just standing there. Put some effort into my wife. Act like you want to be here. Act like my wife is interesting and you were attracted to her. Do something that tells a person, yes, you want this. That's alignment. Making sure everybody's clicking the mystical four-way connection, as we call it. For this other couple, when you're looking, I'm trying to figure this out. Do their personalities come off as performative? Like, are they pretending to act like what they think swingers should act like? Are they obsessed with sex? Sex, bringing up sex every two minutes. Are they asking about sex? Are they inquiring about sex? Horny motherfuckers right here with all the depth of a puddle. Other part of alignment, sexual alignment. We need sexual compatibility beyond, damn, I think this woman's hot and I would like to have sex with her mouth. We need some kind of compatibility. If a couple is full swap and this other couple is soft swap, there's a disconnect here. If this couple is only in the same room and this one likes separate, I don't know physically how these are going to align people assume chemistry is just going to magically fix mismatches in style and it really fucking doesn't it it again leads to meh whatever style is in play has to be agreed upon does not always have to be wife a has sex with husband b and husband and wife b has sex with husband a like we don't have to always do that couple swap shit you can do it where only two people have sex and the other people just watch or hang out or do crafts together as long as it is a greed upon ahead of time, everyone is cool and consenting, you can make it work. But there's a key word there. Everyone is cool and consenting and communicates it. Which leads into communication. Can this couple articulate what they want and actually mean it? Oh, we are soft swap and then midway through they share a look and declare, oh, well, we're suddenly full swap and they want to do some real fucking. No, motherfucker, we ain't doing that. We talked about this ahead of time and agreed to a dynamic and we ain't changing because y'all too suddenly decide to go all the way while I am naked with a hard dick. Kind of a red flag and I'm putting my pants back on. And talking about conversation in general, if a couple wants to immediately talk about sex, some people dig it. Go for it. My bigger concern is like the awkward conversations. Here's a good rule to keep. If the conversation is awkward and forced, the sex is going to be awkward and forced. Rarely, and I can't think of a time that this rule has held not true in my personal experience. If you can't actually talk like grown people, that sex is going to be kind of meh. Even a conversation dedicated to dick pics and squirting still needs to flow, still needs human participants involved in interacting, and you can gain a lot of knowledge for your vetting process by just having a conversation with someone. As an aside, as I'm recording this, and I did not write this out, but I want to mention this too, if you were doing a four-way chat with another couple, and the other couple starts fighting between each other, and you and your wife are just watching this fucking dumpster fire light up and burn, that's a red flag, and that definitely needs to be in the vetting process, whatever you may want to call it, and whatever you want to write it, and however you want to do it. If a couple starts fucking fighting in a group chat with you, it's probably time to shut that shit down. All right, if another thing, if you tell a couple no, how do they handle it? Do they handle it with emotional maturity? Does one of the people in the couple start whining and bitching and get all pouty face, right? Look, I have met people in their 50s and 60s who have all the emotional maturity of a horny 15-year-old loaded on energy drinks looking to punch drywall and play with knives. If a delay or sharing boundaries creates a hint of tension or solitude, Yeah, it's time to reconsider this shit. If a couple wants to bust out with the emotional manipulation or fucking guilt trips, when you share that, you know, you can't hang out with them, walk the fuck away. We ain't here for this bullshit. Life happens, delays happen, disconnects happen. We are all adults who need to understand that and give each other grace, not guilt trips. Which also leads me into the lifestyle fit. Does the way this other couple handle and do the lifestyle fit what you're looking for. If someone values discretion, and you can't take this couple out, and they value discretion, they never want to go out in public, and you really like going to go hang out in public, that might be a disconnect. If you prefer sex clubs, or if they prefer sex clubs, and you like quiet nights at home playing board games and involve stripping, there's a disconnect here. Not a complete no, not a complete throw-it-out-the-window kind of thing, but something to consider. And I'm not sure how to move to these other ones, but holy fuck, they're fucking important. Safety. Physical, emotional, sexual safety. If a couple makes someone feel unsafe on a date or in their communications, haha, the ones I was talking about having the fight, that's a fucking red flag. Safety needs to be on every single couple's vetting process. Checklist. Make a checklist. You can write it down if you want. Couple of components to this one just to think about. Physical safety. Physical safety. Do you and your spouse feel safe around? these people. Jason, that sounds a bit extreme. No, it fucking doesn't. Look, we're meeting strangers off the internet who happen to have the same sexual desires as us. Just because they are swingers does not automatically make them safe people. Does not automatically mean that it is safe to leave your wife alone with that dude. Does not mean that other woman is safe to be alone with. Always meet in a neutral public place the first time you interact with a couple in person. Fucking always. Physical safety. I don't want to make a new category. Do not share nudes with people you have not met in person and trust. You don't know where those pictures are going to end up. You just fucking don't. We have a personal rule that we do not share nudes with anyone until we have met them in person and established trust first. It's a good fucking rule too. It discourages pick collectors. Under physical safety, I'm going to mention sexual safety, which gives me a nice place to mention STD Hero. TheHero.com. Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. They are a fantastic company that respects the lifestyle. Oh, Jason, I don't know what test to get. I'm going to tell you, just go with the advanced test. That's like the basic five or six STIs that are out there. If you're so inclined, probably once a year, do the ultimate test. It's a little bit more, but it tests for like 13 different STIs. Okay. Sexual safety with another, sexual safety with another, another couple. I don't want to say... I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to blurt it out. Does this couple take sexual safety seriously or as serious as you do? There are different levels to sexual safety. Some people have fucking lectured me on this just randomly in hallways. Fine. Okay? Some people always use condoms. Others don't. Some people test regularly. Others don't. For your personal vetting process, ask, is this couple on the same level of sexual health as you are, right? That sounds fair. I think everyone should use condoms except with trusted couples and get tested regularly, though. However you're going to define that, get fucking tested, okay? Just because you chewed my ass out in a hallway doesn't fucking mean you were right. Anyway, go get tested. Emotional safety. I guess this could tie back to emotional maturity, so we're going to make this a tiny little subject box. But it's still very important. If people try to manipulate another couple through actions or words, bring drama, share drama, cause drama, these people are probably not emotionally safe. Here is a good test or question to ask while standing there looking at the blank page, the potential of a new couple. Simple question. How will you feel about this in the morning or the day after? Are you going to feel good and proud about your choices? The question is not, should I fuck them? I need to act now and buy siding for my house or I'm going to miss out on this amazing fucking deal. I just don't dig the pressure. With any new couple, there is a story there. It could be a good story. It could be an awkward story. It could be a story you laugh about in five years wondering what the fuck you were thinking pulling your dick out that night. It could be a funny story that turns into a lasting connection or one of those beautiful fleeting one-night stands and you never even got that woman's name. It could be the best sex of your life, or it could leave you wondering how in the hell you and your wife are going to get out of this room right now never to return. That page could be a lot of things. The blank white page, every conversation, every action, every look, giving us a reason to start writing, no matter the words, no matter the time. One day you can gather all those stories together into a beautiful, hardbound book and freak out your fucking grandchildren with stories of how wild grandma was and still was. is in her 80s, okay? Thank you for listening and tuning in every week. Make sure you tell a friend about the show. Look, I'm somewhere around 90,000 downloads. I need 10,000 more to hit my goal of 100,000 downloads. I want this. I need this, and I need your help. Go tell a friend about the show. Thank you to the love of my life, my wife, who is on this wonderful journey with me. If you want to talk to me, ask a question, suggest a topic, you can see and email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com. I'm not mentioning my website because I am finally going to go and redo my website. So I will tell you when to go check out my website. The new and approved website. My personal disclaimer, I'm not a medical professional or a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode. You know what I'm going to mention? STD Hero because they're awesome. code TOL15 for 15% off your order and get tested. And go check out risquélifestyleparties.com. Whatever you may do today or tonight, I hope you do it with enthusiasm, consent, curiosity, and a little bit of spice. You are appreciated and loved, and I will see you for the next episode.