Spot!

Transcript

Speaker1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast. This is your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about changing your damn spot. This podcast is for adults only. We'll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it is not safe for work. If you're under 18, this is not the place for you. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy, and it's open to everyone, no matter your background, gender, identity, expression, or your personal truth. While I do my best to use inclusive language, you might hear terms like husband, wife, or partner for simplicity's sake. This show is for everyone, lifestyle, vanilla, or just the curious. You want to connect? Send me an email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com. Visit my website at thatotherlifestyle.com. Everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is so much more than you think. Do you know how many fucking times you can scratch an entire script and rewrite it in one week? Four. Four fucking times. Four times I've tried to write out this episode and the other three times it didn't come together like I wanted. Why? This is a simple, sensitive subject. It is a topic everyone, every single person in the lifestyle struggles with. It's not sexual performance. It's not your pecker. It is not how to craft the perfect text. It is not about how to lick pussy. And there's a setup here, okay? and a reason to talk about this. Last weekend, we were at an event, Bunny's Events in Pensacola. I realized I was in the wrong spot. It was a bar meetup. I was in the wrong spot. I surveyed the area and I realized I needed to move. There's a spot on the other side of the room on the dance floor with three beautiful women, one of them being my wife, dancing. And I am not there. I'm standing on the other side of the room. I need to move. I need to go towards the women because I like women. I like women dancing and I want to join them. The spot we occupy at events matters. The spot in space we are taking up matters and if you don't like your spot or there is a better one, you need to move. Move towards the hot, sexy, sweaty bodies. The other setup. We were at Pulsify two weeks ago. My wife and I wandered around the resort and we ended up at the beach. There was a conversation happening. My wife says, let's go talk to them because we I look though at the structure of the conversation. This matters to me. Six people were standing shoulder to shoulder and they're all focused inward. No, this is not a conversation that these six people want us to join. Why the fuck are my feet moving? Why is my wife moving towards them? Shit, I should have said something sooner. Fuck, I don't like this. And then we say an awkward hi to a couple of people. So great, now I'm standing awkwardly as the seventh and eighth person in the circle. that will not open up and allow us entry. This sucks. This makes me have feelings and I don't like it. I nudge my wives like we need to go get drinks. We need to leave this spot now. Oddly enough, a few hours later, maybe the next day, I don't really know. Everything is a fucking blur. Two beautiful women were touching and smelling my beard in that same exact spot. So different day, better situation. Spots matter. The underrated skill in the lifestyle that matters is how to meet people, and why am I connecting this in such a haphazard way to spots? I needed a tangible way to explain this concept and give you a physical reference. I have some harsh truths here. I will be an asshole for a few minutes, but once we accept these truths, I promise meeting people is going to be so much easier for you. I think I've done episodes about meetups and hotel takeovers where I sporadically touched on the how to do it, the how to meet people. I am way too lazy to go back and check, and I needed to deep dive into this one. Why do I need to address this? Because people talk about it. People ask me about it. People ask me how to do it or how do I do it. After we accept some harsh truths, the truths that I have accepted, this shit I promise gets so much easier. I can try to make this sound so simple as just moving your spot, but if the crushing weight of anxiety is buried down on your fucking shoulders, I know no matter how simple I make this, It won't fucking help. That's why I'm going to go with, we need to move our spot after we listen to some truths. People get into their heads at these events. They think others are judging them or something. First harsh truth. Ready? No one cares. Okay? No one cares about two of these events besides your spouse and your friends. You are there to mingle, getting in your own head, letting nervousness win. You are defeating yourself before you even start. Except, okay, that no one cares. You are just another face in the crowd. until you were not. It is possible to have a wonderful time at these things and not meet a single person. NPCs. Non-player characters. I know this came from video games and entered our lexicon in recent years and it is super useful. Personally, I hate the feeling of being an NPC. I have felt it. I have been in situations where I felt like I did not belong there. Like there was a story happening around me and I was not a part of it. So I walked away. My mental health is more valuable than any faux embarrassment I think may happen or feel from people who don't give a shit I was standing there in the first place. Most people are going to be non-player characters, NPCs, in your vision until they are not. Until you notice another person, make eye contact, acknowledge they exist, they are background characters in your story. Fuck that is really harsh, but it's true. And everyone is seeing you the same way. Don't get it twisted. Don't think, You don't belong in a place just because you're a non-player character. No. You have every right to be at an event, any event, public venue sort of thing. House parties are different and it's awkward if you storm into it and just stand there. Don't do that. If you pay money to be at a party, be at an event, be there and enjoy yourself. No one is going to stop you from enjoying this thing. No one is going to come up to you like a gang of bullies from a 1980s movie and make you leave. That's not going to happen. No one is going to run out of the out of the bar for saying hi to them because nobody's going to notice you until they have a reason to. No one is going to notice you because they are lost in their own story for the night. Whether or not you become a part of that story, that's another matter. I've dealt with this feeling. We all have. When we started, I was hesitant to go to big group events because I was worried about people judging me or not talking to me or something. Here's what happened. People talk to us. I talk to people. I've gone to events where No one has talked to us, and I fucking left. I, you, control where you put our energy and time and attention and passion, and if we're just not clicking with an event, we can leave. We don't have to stay there. Never stay in a spot that makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, reasons that you can't define and don't matter. Don't sacrifice your mental health just to occupy a spot at an event you are not comfortable standing in, okay? You do not have to volunteer be an NPC in someone else's story. I promise you, there are other events and there's other spots to stand. Which brings me to my next point. My buddy and or my wife gave me this one, so credit to them. No one will remember you unless you are memorable. That sounds harsh, and it is, and it's true. Think about all the people you have met in the lifestyle. How many of them do you remember their names and maybe their outfits? Take it over to the vanilla world. Do you remember the name of the server at the last restaurant you went to? What color was your coworker's shirt last Tuesday? If you can answer these, you were a better person than me. If the most memorable thing about you is that you are a swinger, you are not memorable. If you want people to remember you, remember meeting you, wanting more of you, then be memorable. I admit, I have met thousands of people in the lifestyle. Thousands of people across the years at events, takeovers, cruises, conventions, whatever. And I don't remember 95% of them. a face and a set of titties. I have a perfect photographic titty memory. That sounds kind of dick, but think about how many couples that you remember their names. And I know you have met a bunch of people. How many of them do you remember? We are all fucking guilty of this. Names. Fucking names, okay? A little side harsh truth here. No one remembers anyone's names. No one remembers my fucking name, and I'm okay with that. They just remember me as, hey, it's that guy with the beard. Like I said, I will remember a face and remember if we have met, maybe in some capacity. But no one will hear or remember your name as you try to scream it into their ear over the sound of a dance floor. Might get luckier if we're standing in a quieter part of the bar. We all need to come together here as a community and accept people won't remember names until we have made eye contact at least three times. Don't get fucking butthurt if someone does not remember your name. You want to be memorable? Stand out. The easiest way to stand out is with a bitchin' outfit. That's one of the reasons we go so hard on costumes and outfits for events. Okay, that's a little white lie. My wife does it because she enjoys the crafting and the creation? I do it! So people are going to remember me. There are people out there who do not know my name, but they will remember my neon-colored cloak as I spun around a dance floor like a demented butterfly. because she's amazing has another motto i want to share and i need to put this on a sign or a plaque for her so here we go no one thinks about you as much as you think about them take the pressure off yourself at these events no one is standing on the side of the room staring at you or they shouldn't be or hey if they are that means they're interested if you're in if you're standing in a spot and you're feeling self-conscious like people are judging you they're not maybe they are judging whether or not they want to fuck you but that's a good thing You're not in their heads Do not let them get into your head They are focused on themselves Humans are incredibly selfish animals You will be a flash in their brain and then poof, gone Unless they have a reason to remember you We are fucking goldfish at these events We have short memories Except that no one is thinking about you unless they know you And even the people that know you, your friends Don't think about you as much as you think about them is you're creating a false narrative in your head about these NPCs across the room and filling in details that you lack any evidence for and looking for a reason to bail. Stop that. It's not healthy. And I'm guilty of this. We're all guilty of this. Let's do this to help. If you need, if you feel the anxiety and you're getting wound up, stand in your spot, wherever you are standing. Ground yourself in your body. You twist your feet into the floor. You feel your toes. You wiggle them. Wiggle your fingers. Take a slow inhale and a long Exhale. Touch something. A drink. Your spouse. Clothes. That's when my wife always has a fan or a drink in her hand and she doesn't even drink it. She nurses the thing all night long. It grounds her. She likes having that in her hand. Ground yourself in the moment and the spot. One of the hardest activities in the lifestyle, believe it or not, is not asking, hey, asking a couple, hey, do you want to go fuck around? That's really simple as, hey, do you want to go to our hotel room? Easy. I acknowledge it. for you. Walking into a big party by yourself, that is hard. And I'm making a point with friends or people I know or whoever needs it. To never let people walk in alone. I will leave, find them, connect, and I will walk in with them. I know that feeling and I know it sucks. If you don't have a tribe with you or friends or something, then yeah, you can do this alone. That's okay. You got this. because I need you to put one foot in front of the other. You look up, focus on a distant point in the room, and you walk there. You're not going to stop until you reach that point. Granted, it might look a little robotic. That's okay. You're still in the fucking room. You can do this. Don't worry about making eye contact right now. We'll just get in the room and find a spot to stand. Simple. Another one. Don't be intimidated by anyone, okay? Here's the truth. No one is cool or popular. No one. We are fucking adults. This is not high school. That beautiful redhead on the other side of the room, two days ago, she was grocery shopping wearing a hoodie and Crocs. That dude out there living his best life on the dance floor has four cats, listens to Viking metal, reads comic books, and bought his last vehicle based on safety features. That's me. I'm talking about me. I am not fucking cool, okay? At events, if it looks like someone is the life of the party and living their best life, They don't give a shit. They don't give a shit about the judgment and the eyes and the non-player characters out there. They don't give a shit that a couple will go home and talk about them. They don't give a shit that someone might reject them. They don't care. There is safety. There is comfort. There is freedom in not caring. I find safety in that thought that usually at events, we're not there to fuck around with people. We're there to enjoy the party. And enjoying the party means being sociable and fun. her off of finding a fuck buddy for the night. That's a big deal. Flip side. No one is so attractive or mysterious that they can stand in the corner of a dark room and attract people. No one. No one is going to come up to you and if you huddle in the corner all night. Ain't gonna happen. They might wave and you might not and you will not have a viable decent conversation if you hug the walls. Go stand in the light. Go into the dance floor. People will see you. Force your fear. to stand in the light and be seen. Find a different spot to stand. This is all we're doing. I'm trying to boil this down here. Find a new spot to stand. Here's a good rule. Can you read in the spot you are standing? Then it's probably too dark to stand in. If you want something to happen, anything, meeting people, whatever, you must make it happen. You have to do it. Yes, you make it randomly propositioned at an event, which has happened to me. It does actually happen. My buddy, He put it best. He's like, yeah, when that happens, when a couple will approach him and his wife to play around, he's going to respond with, oh, hi, my name is X. What's your name? I don't know you. Why are you asking me this? I joke, but yeah, it does. It does happen. Couples will walk up to strangers and ask, fuck, it is wild. And I'm losing track of the narrative here. If you want to meet people, you just have to do it. Do not assume showing up is enough. I'm proud of you for showing up. Showing up is the first step. And if you want to call it a night by just saying, showing up, do that until you're more comfortable with these things. I got technical instructions on some stuff in a minute. A pervasive thought to throw into the mix of all this. You think, oh no, everyone is judging me. Well, you're judging them too. Everyone is judging each other, which means no one is judging each other. Yes, it is valid to say that people are judging you. People are trying to determine if they want to talk to you, fuck you, befriend you. But you're doing the same, ain't you? I know you are. I am. That's okay. That's why we're here to meet new people, and part of the process is determining if we want to meet a couple based on our personal criteria. No, you're not going to fit in the criteria for every single couple. That's a given. You may start a conversation, and if it's like talking to a fish taped to a door, I like that analogy. I came up with it. That's my new analogy for boring people. If it is, if they're super fucking boring or not engaging with you, walk away. Find a new spot to stand. These people are not interested in you, and your continued efforts will only damage your pride and mental health. Go somewhere else. Many instances of bad vibes are caused by couples that don't want to reciprocate in conversations, and then you stand there smiling, trying to figure out what the fuck to say to fill the void. The universe here is gently saying, this is not the spot for you. You need to move. People have this fear that if they walk up to a new couple, they will reject them in a glorious, fiery manner. They're going to start pointing and laughing and making you feel bad for daring to speak to them, okay? In all my years and travels, I have never seen this happen. I've never been on the receiving end of this. I've never done it to someone, and I have talked to a lot of people. I have been iced out of conversations. I have had people walk away from me. It was never made into a big production. Put this fear out of your brain. I give myself an out here, okay? Just to share. If someone actually fucking does this, like, starts, laughing and pointing and being a dick to you just for saying hi? Fuck them. You should probably go say something to someone and I'm not really sure who the great authorities of the lifestyle are, but they're fucking horrible people and need to be exiled from the lifestyle. This goes back to the fear of rejection. So accept that you will be rejected by some people and embraced by others. I have been rejected fucking hard. Sometimes I know the reason, sometimes I don't. I have been ejected from conversations. or we have just run out of things to talk about. I did learn this little tip I'll share with you. Learned this a long time ago. If someone starts talking about the weather, they have nothing better to talk about, which means they want to talk to you, but they can't think of a good topic. So that's your opening right there to find a better topic. Rejection happens. It sucks. Accept it. Realize there are way more factors in play than you are aware of and go find a new spot to stand in. It's not worth your mental health to get hung up on a rejection. Not when there are so many other people out there who do want to talk to you. To balance out all these asshole statements, I'm sorry. You are not bad at meeting people, okay? You think you're bad. You are not. It may come across as being socially awkward. You think you are. You're not. We all are. Everyone. Socially awkward. I have yet to meet anyone who is not socially awkward at some level. across the whole social spectrum of interactions. Because I'll be honest with you, I am actually more socially awkward around close friends than I am strangers. And if you put me in a group of 5,000 people I don't know, I am fucking great. Sit me down with another couple, nope, awkwardness is coming out. My wife is the exact opposite. When you go out for a wild night, you want to be the hero of your own epic story. You want to do the kind of things the vanilla world can only dream of. You want to set the night on fire. STDHero.com has got you covered no matter where your story may go. Be the ultimate lifestyle hero with STDHero's new Ultimate STI testing kit. The Ultimate Hero panel is a comprehensive, affordable panel for infections transmitted sexually, including anal and oral, which can often be symptomless. The ultimate test screens for 13 high-risk STIs. It is the ultimate protection for those in the lifestyle. Compare the prices and see for yourself. STD Eero's kits are shipped to your home in discreet packaging, utilising painless blood sample collection. Be safe out there. Be a hero of your own story. Use promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order at stdhero.com. Everyone is nervous. Everyone has this. Some people might be lucky and have friends around them to comfort them at events. Others will search out people for comfort. We're all nervous. We just need to accept this. Time for a parallel to illustrate a point. No one can dance. Everyone can dance in some capacity. I can't fucking dance, but my happy ass will get out there and I will shake my body slightly off rhythm. When people say they can't dance, just like they say they can't meet new people, They are imagining that they need to have a polished three-minute routine like they saw in movie montages growing up. This connects to meeting people, I promise. People say that they can't dance, but I know they are capable of at least going out onto the dance floor and moving their body in some way. Not to sound ableist here, okay? Just want to make a point. You do not need a polished three-minute introduction speech about yourself when you meet new people. A simple, hi, my name is blank, will suffice. Just like dancing, you don't need to have a full choreographed routine prepared, okay? You just have to stand there and move a little bit. Same thing with meeting people. You just stand there and you say a couple of words. Do not be put off by the amount of effort. No one wants your life story during a meetup. They need your name, maybe a fun fact, something to remember you by. Oh, and your contact information. Not enough people give out their contact information. Please start doing this. How the hell am I supposed to find you? After an event, if I don't know how, okay? All of this is assuming that you are the one doing the act, doing the walking up. There's another side to this. People are going to come up to you. And I think I heard someone's anxiety spiking at that thought and their butthole puckering. No, this is a good thing when people come up to you. They are doing the hard part. All you have to do is stand there and judge them. Okay, don't do that. Don't judge people. Be receptive if people come to talk to you. I need to go off on a tangent right here. Y'all know about tangents. I do them all the fucking time. Resting bitch face, okay? Or in my case, as my friends so affectionately calling it, my resting murder face. Humans read body language in totality. Yes, having a grimace on your face may turn people off, but your body language, the way you stand, the way you hold your arms helps. If you know you have resting bitch face, do not cross your arms. I am very guilty of this because my arms are so heavy. So I try to keep them moving in some way. I have no specific tips. I am sorry on how to stop doing resting bitch face and or resting murder face. I do it. People do it. Some of us do it and don't realize it. We can work on it by thinking happy thoughts or something. Another point. Take the pressure off yourself at these events and stop trying to get laid. People walk into meetups and parties and think, oh my god, I have to get laid tonight. My night is going to be a failure unless I get laid. Let's break this down. You and your spouse are going to an event where you know zero people and expect in two or three hours to meet another couple where there may be a tiny bit of attraction and then leave to go to a second location, have sex, and go home. I am not saying this is impossible. I am going to say it is improbable. Yes, it can happen, but if you make that your focus for the night, nine times out of ten, you're going to be disappointed. Very disappointed. And if you get disappointed a couple of times in this, on you. You will go to a negative headspace. Do not set expectations when walking to events. Just don't fucking do it. If something sexy happens, great. Otherwise, go in with the attention of just meeting people. Let's call it a meetup for a reason. Bunch of lifestyle people are coming together in order to know each other. Practical advice here on how to meet people. Real actions, something real specific that you can do. I want to give you the rule of five. Two ways you can play this depending on your comfort level. There's Easy Mode and Hard Mode. Go to a meetup and you are going to interact with five couples. If the number five scares the shit out of you, go with one. The easy mode here is to give five people a compliment. My wife is amazing at this. She will walk through a party and make everyone's day by just handing out genuine compliments to everyone, men and women. And yes, you can give men compliments too. I fucking love compliments. Whenever I do get a compliment, I am on a high for days. Don't get a lot of compliments. Your goal is to give five people compliments in the night. No conversation. No interaction. You walk past someone. You stop and say, oh, hey, I like your top or I like your hair. You keep walking. This is going to do a few things. One, it is going to give you super confidence if you practice this. Two, it's going to make another person happy. Three, depending on how well they receive the compliment, will give you a measure of their potential interest in you. And four, they're going to find you. They will come to you later in the night. I promise you that. Whatever spot you were in, they're going to hunt you down, which means they're doing the hard part of initiating a conversation. So sneaky. The harder version of this is to try to get five names. You meet five people and you get their first names. You don't need details of their lives. You don't care where they work or what high school they went to. I just need to know your first name. And it's actually kind of easy. If you walk up and put your hand out to shake theirs, and you say your name, people will always say their name in response. And I guess the harder version of this is to get contact information from five couples. I learned somewhere in my travels when I was younger about working a crowd. It is possible to interact with everyone in a crowd. If you notice the flow, do it intentionally, and you go against the flow. This is advanced right here. Gatherings of humans generally follow a pattern. People are going to cluster together in one big group, made up of little smaller conversations. And there's going to be outliers standing apart. To work a crowd, you start on one side, which we're going to call midnight. And you're going to go counterclockwise around the periphery of the group. You say hi, you hand out compliments, but you keep moving. And then when you hit midnight again, you go talk to someone on the periphery. Congratulations, you just worked the crowd. Now you can either make another lap or call it a night because I'm proud of you. And since we're talking about groups, I need to address cliques. That word. I hate that fucking word. But I need to use it here. There are open cliques and closed cliques. And I'm going to switch to say groups and clusters instead of cliques because I don't want to type out QU this much. How to read a cluster of humans. Will this group of fleshy primates accept me or want me to join them? One measure you can use is proximity. Look at the spots they're in. How close are they standing? Before someone says, Jason, you're being a jerk. No one ever does that. Fuck you. Yes, they do. I told you it happened to us. If a group is standing shoulder to shoulder, don't bother. They are in a closed group and intense conversation, and you will struggle to break in. If the group is more open, like they are intentionally leaving space between people for someone else to stand, yes, that group is accepting of people walking up. Go join them. I'm not making this up. Watch people. I watch people a lot, and I overanalyze every fucking interaction I am Jason and I do that and it keeps my brain busy. Be receptive please of people who want to stand next to you. Be receptive of people who change their spot in the universe to be closer to you. I get admonished for a lot from my resting bitch face but no one gets chastised for being off-putting to others. The fuck. No one gets shit for being intentionally off-putting. I'm changing that now. Being receptive of others does not mean that you want to fuck them. It means that you're a decent person and acknowledging other people as people Why do I keep talking about spots? I know that I can run through tips and tricks and recommendations, make a little game of every interaction, and none of that can help you. There is a disconnect between the want in your brain and the doing the action. Something is stopping you. Social anxiety, fear, nerves, whatever it is. It is valid. I acknowledge it. I have stood next to friends and felt a thousand miles away from them. I have stood in a crowd of strangers and felt welcome. I know this. I am here to validate the stress and struggle of attempting to meet people. Not even the act of doing it. That little precursor. That nagging feeling. All that nasty shit running through your brain. It is real. I could tell you to not let it control you. I could tell you to just push past it. Commit to one act and do it. We are all human. I know that can be a lot to ask of you. That's why I want to boil this down to just change your spot. throw in on them. Not walk up to strangers and hug them, though I do this and I love leaving them with a bewildered look on their face when I walk away. No, all I am doing here is asking you to change your spot. There's a spot right now where you are sitting or standing or laying down listening to me. And oh, please be masturbating while listening to my show and tell me that you do it often. I need this. It is a simple act to just get up and move your spot. New chair, new position, a different place in your environment. you to do with these meetups. You stand in a single spot for 10 minutes, 5 minutes, however long. Take in the room, breathe in and out, squeeze your spouse's hand for strength, and then, when the imaginary clock in your brain dings, just walk to a new spot. Go stand over there. Do it again. Move. I see it often, and this is a step in correcting this behavior. I see people walk into parties and events, and they find a fucking spot. And they stay there all night long. Over in the darkness. They are comfortable in that spot. It is their territory and they will defend it with their lives. Don't do that. We only grow as people when we are uncomfortable. You need to make yourself a smidge. Smidgen? Uncomfortable. I feel a lot of advice on meeting people forgets the important step between the decision and the doing, which is the hardest fucking step. Changing your spot. Intentionally changing where you are standing, skips all that. All you have to do is walk to another location and stand there. Then another. By moving around, people are going to notice you. You're in the mix. People will want to interact. We're not committing to dancing. We are not committing to finding a couple to fuck for the night. Just move around. Take 20 steps in any direction. Stand there. And don't fucking cheat either by hugging the wall all night. And because I'm adding that in there, there should be a rule that you have to stay at least 10 feet away from any wall. Look, this can be stressful. Very. People will avoid gatherings because of social anxiety. I can't help with this too much. My knowledge and abilities are limited to the dumb shit I do on the weekends and what I can fit into an episode. I'm not here to be a therapist. I'm not here to have it out magical fixes to anything. I have struggled with social anxiety. I know other people do. Yes, if you see me at Pulsify or another event, my happiest ass is out there in the spotlight dancing and smiling. And because I don't care. I just want to enjoy myself. You might not be at that point yet. You might not be ready for that. All I'm asking is change your spot. Putting your mind at ease here. One, no one will laugh you out of the room. You are a fucking adult and if people treat you that way, you're allowed to respond like an adult, not a scared middle school student. You have every right to be in an event that you paid for. People will judge you just like you were judging them. And be memorable. Stand in the spotlight. and shine with me. Two other items I need to tell you about. Risqué Halloween is coming up October 24th and 25th in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Tickets are available at risquélifestyleparties.com. My wife and I will be there looking fabulous. For podcasters, influencers, content creators, and business owners in the lifestyle, STD Hero is looking for new affiliates. Send me an email at host at thatofthelifestyle.com for more details on how to work with the best, in my opinion, the best lifestyle I always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics so feel free to reach out to me at host that other lifestyle.com my website that other lifestyle.com my personal disclaimer I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you this podcast is for entertainment purposes only please join us for the next episode STI testing is important text the community to make a difference go to and use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you're appreciated and loved. Have a great day.