Gifts, Pineapples & Pleasure: The Ultimate Lifestyle Present Guide

Transcript

Speaker1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to the Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about gift-giving. This podcast is for adults only. We'll be diving into adult and sexual topics with plenty of colorful language, so it is not safe for work. If you're under 18, get the hell out. This is not the place for you. This show is all about exploring the lifestyle and ethical and it's open to everyone no matter your background gender identity expression or your personal truth while i do my best to use inclusive language you might hear terms like husband wife or partner for simplicity's sake this show is for everyone lifestyle vanilla or just the curious you want to connect with me you can send me an email to host at that other lifestyle.com or go to my website that other lifestyle.com everyone is welcome here because the lifestyle is so much more than you think my wife was in my office on monday morning bright and early and it was time to write a script for this week. We did talk about the episode last week. I know y'all listened to it. It was heavy. I know it was heavy and raw and real and fucking honest. It was a lot. Our guidance to me this week, to a fucking happy episode, Jason, or people are going to stop listening. The last two episodes, maybe three, have been really heavy. This whole summer has been very heavy and it came through in what I create. I'm not apologizing for it. I made it. said it and I put it out there in the universe. I lived through it and now I'm living with it. And yes, happy episode. We're going to do that. Balance out the universe and all that. Don't get it twisted though. The lifestyle can be magical and beautiful and wonderful. It can certainly enhance a marriage. It can lead to wild adventures, life-changing moments, and the most mundane situations that will mean so much to you. Everyone is on their own journey. Some days the road is rough. Other days the sun shines. It does not mean the journey is not worth the miles. I'm in a weird spot with this show. I don't get much feedback on episodes. I don't have people emailing me every week with comments or critiques. I just don't get much feedback on social media. I know why. I do a show about sex and swinging and ethical non-monogamy. If you interact with my show in any form online, you just out it yourself. If you admit you listen or you're even a bit interested, the Vanillas are going to get their pitchforks and they're going to bust down your front door. I get it. I know I have listeners. the 75,000 download mark, which is fucking amazing. And I'm hoping to hit 100K by my two-year anniversary in February. So please help me hit that goal. Tell your friends. If you have told a friend, I thank you and appreciate it. I am so close to 100 episodes. I can feel it. So fine, let's do a happy episode this week. Inspired by my birthday, which just so happens to be Thursday when I drop this episode, let's talk about presents and gifts and useful things to get your lifestyle friends and gift gimmies weird off-the-wall fucking topic, right? And disclaimer, I am not recommending any of these items to make a dollar. Well, I actually make commission on the STD Hero kits, but that's another thing. Some of the items, I can tell you where to go get them. Other ones, just go look them up. They might be useful. They might be fun. They might make life a little easier or less messy. The one item I will recommend that I do make a commission off of is STD Hero, STI testing. Get fucking tested however you can. If your insurance covers it, If you can get it from a free clinic, do it. My primary guidance on STI testing is just fucking get it done. I don't care how. Now, if you want discreet at-home testing, I recommend STD Hero. You hear me run the commercials for them every week because I believe in this company. I work closely with them. Yes, the tests are painless and easy. It takes five minutes. There's a video on my YouTube channel, That Other Lifestyle, same name, where I take the test live. I recorded me taking the test. and you think at-home testing is complicated or painful, just please go check out that video. I know the owners of STD Hero. I actually talked to them last night. The owners, they are part of our community. They're lifestyle-adjacent. They've been to our spaces, to our parties. They respect us. They respect what we do. They enjoy our parties. They don't sponsor this show so much as they are my partners. There is a difference there. And I brought them to our parties, and they fucking loved it. They actually dressed up, you know? There are other at-home testing options out there. Great, but I fully endorse STD Hero because of their respect for us in the lifestyle. I don't see the CEO of all these other companies partying with my ass at Naughty in New Orleans. They have a fully accredited lab, and they do offer other kinds of tests, like an allergy test if you need that. When newbies ask me about joining the lifestyle, Jason, what is the first step? Not joining a site? Not going to a party? No, your first step is to get tested. But we've been married for 20 years. We don't have an STI. You sure about that? Because I get tested. I did a test last week. I know my status. We're all clear. You don't. You were guessing. Stop the guessing and go get tested. I have a promo code for STDHero. It's TOL15 where you get 15% off your order on stdhero.com's website. Go to stdhero.com directly to get your test. Yes, they are sold on Amazon. And on Amazon, you can't use my promo code and save 15%. Also, if you go to stdhero.com, you can choose how fast you want to get your test results. If you go through Amazon, you have to use standard U.S. Postal Service shipping, which may take a couple of days. So if you got an event coming up and you want your results faster, you can go to stdhero.com and upgrade to expedited shipping. So use my code, support the show. If you need it, there's the affiliate link down in the show notes. 15 different STIs. Way more affordable than the competition, I can just tell you that. And I do recommend doing a full 12 panel or 13 panel STI test like once a year if you can, if you can afford it. Our concept this week, a friend in the lifestyle has a birthday coming up, a lifestyle friend. What do we do? Should we get lifestyle friends presents? And breaking that down a little bit, staring off into the void considering the question, do we get adult friends birthday presents? Is it okay to get our fuck buddies birthday presents? Don't know. Do you normally buy presents for your friends, close friends, best friends? Do most people in your life get text messages and an emoji? Some people are in the camp that since we are adults, we don't need presents. That adult birthdays are worthless and no one should care about them. They're just another day. That is so fucking negative to say out loud in here, and I don't like it. Everyone should be celebrated for being them, either on their birthday or a random fucking day during the year. Life is fucking hard. The world beats out our humanity with rusty chains. Give presents. Give kind words. Give compliments. Think about how good it feels to get a random compliment or a present on a random Tuesday. You can make other people feel that. There are some people, and I know a few, who hate getting presents and compliments. For people like that, and you might have one in your life, just give them a hug and be present. That's what really matters. Your presence is the best present you can give anyone. I did not think about diction and articulation when I wrote this. especially in the lifestyle because they're always torn in so many different directions by dates and parties and events. Giving people time is the best present by far. Putting this out there honestly for everyone. Go acknowledge the important people in your life. Even if it is just a text message once a week, reach out, check in, say hello. Birthdays and presents are a great way to establish or re-establish a connection with people. You know this. Do it. And we haven't got to the lifestyle discussion part yet. This is just life advice. There is someone out there right now in your life who wants to hear from you, but they're scared to reach out. Oh, but Jason, we are adults, or at least I hope you are listening to this show. Adults should be emotionally mature enough to express themselves and communicate their needs and desires. Why should I be the one that puts forth the effort when they're the person that wants my attention? Yeah, hearing me say all of that out loud, it sounds mighty shitty, doesn't it? Look, no one is emotionally mature. I have met very few people who have emotional balls. to be the one to initiate contact on a regular basis with people. Oh, but reaching out to a friend or associate, that just sounds like work. Yeah, it is. It takes all of three calories to type out a text message. And I'm going way off into the weeds yet. I haven't even talked about gift-giving. People want to hear from you, okay? People want to receive and get gifts. We are human. We are social creatures who create societal bonds through the exchange of information, emotion, or physical items. Be that friend. Reach out today. someone who you haven't spoken to in a while. You want to give me a birthday present? You're thinking, oh, Jason, you're awesome and super cool podcaster, and it's your birthday today. Maybe I should get you a present. No. Go do something nice for somebody. Reach out to a friend that you haven't talked to in a while. Do that. Go make a person's day brighter. Gift giving. Spinning this tangent way the fuck back on track. Here's how I approach gift giving, and it takes a bit of thought. People give the kind of presents that they want to receive. So hear me out. Let's say there's a guy who always gives very practical gifts like a portable air compressor or a flashlight. That dude appreciates practical gifts. Another friend might be the kind that always gives handmade cards or handmade presents. That person appreciates sentimental gifts. So turn it around. That's the kind of present you should give them. I pay attention to what people give me so then I know what to give them. And there's a bigger discussion under the surface here about the nature of lifestyle friendships. That would actually be a really good episode. What are lifestyle friendships? What are their nature? What are their value? That's deep shit. I'm not getting into this week. Next week, we'll do that. Maybe. I have to see how my weekend goes. I don't want to get off topic too soon. Swerving back to the topic of the show, presents and gifts. I want to talk about pineapples, the infamous fucking pineapples. Specifically, giving pineapple decor, mementos, items, stuffed with pineapples, pineapple shapes, stuffed animals, that sort of thing. You get it. Me and my wife, we have so much pineapple stuff around our house. is starting to feel less like decorations and more like a theme park gift shop. Every room has wall art, knickknacks, or just something vaguely pineapple shaped. In my office, it looks like a fucking fruit stand in here. We're basically screaming our allegiance to the lifestyle with every scented candle and throw pillow. And I get it, not everyone wants to live in the church of pineapple. But let's be honest, the pineapple as a secret code thing? People know. It ain't a secret anymore. You can google it. Go to google, type in, what do pineapples do? mean? Within three clicks, you're going to be looking at a listicle titled 25 things that mean your neighbor is a swinger and 12 of them are pineapples. I did a whole show on that, didn't I? The secret is out. The vanillas know. So should you give lifestyle friends pineapple gifts? Depends. A little something subtle like pineapple shot glasses that can just slide right under the radar, totally fine. But a three-foot front porch banner of a pineapple on a swing, people are going to notice that one. out there on the internet somewhere there is a vibrating necklace it's like 20 to 30 bucks it's a little stick and it just turns on and it vibrates that's a fucking winner easy present for a sexy lady in your life for men our options are way more fucking limited in terms of sex toys because i was really wrecking my brain here i can't really think of anything so here's thought if someone gives you the vibrator maybe make a sexy video of using the vibrator for your husband or a gentleman friend or a friend couple that's a fucking awesome idea jason Another present in the sexy realm, a squirt blanket. This is surprisingly handy and useful. Yes, there have been times when I wish we had one on the bed. The twist with squirt blankets, I don't know if you know this. Yes, you can get a very nice large blanket that rolls up with a handle for a hundred bucks. Or you could just go get a pet blanket for a quarter of the price. As long as it's machine washable with a water resistant backing. Yeah, that's a fucking squirt blanket. I would personally stay away from lingerie because sizing it is a right bitch. You have to know a woman's measurements pretty well to get the right size for lingerie, which you can find out. You've got to be sneaky about it. If you want to go with clothing, how about this? Go with a nice robe. Something to throw on after the fuckery is done. Yes, there's always this glorious moment post-fucking where four people are sitting around naked and just talking on a bed. I love that moment. They could help break the ice and get the shenanigans. I can't even say my word right. Get all that fun stuff going. I'm neutral because I don't use them. I am way more direct now than when we started. Yes, playing a game of Strip Uno worked when we were newer to the lifestyle and we needed a way to ease into the fuckery. Now I'm just, I will just ask. I am direct. Like, hey, let's all go get naked. Everyone up here is horny. Let's go have sex. No, it's not. And newbies always suggest this as a way to break the ice. Drew the Dare, being played with a couple of people. There are problems that newbies may not ponder. If you go with dare and someone dares you to kiss another person, there is now peer pressure to perform the act and pressure on this other person to participate. And pressure is bad. That means both you and the other person need to be consenting in a state to consent, feeling comfortable consenting to this act. And I have seen people do crazy fucking dares right off the bat. And I have seen the hesitation in people's eyes. And I have stepped in to be the jackass and say, no. Unless everyone in the room is absolutely 100% comfortable with everyone else, which is really rare, there could be issues with this one. And look, if you pick truth, I'm going to tell you, somebody is going to have their fucking feelings hurt. have sex within this room, which then puts that person on a spot, and whoever they pick means they're not picking the other people in the room. It's going to be a really shitty feeling if a woman you're interested in flat-out states that they're interested in someone else. Look, just stay the fuck away from truth or dare. A new category to add to this list, I thought of books, sexy books, raunchy books, you know the kind I'm talking about. If you have a lady friend that is a reader in your life, yeah, books, books are a great idea. But Jason, what book do I get? How do I know if they've already read this one? To which I say, let us cheat. There's three ways to play this. First option, go do your research. You go to TikTok or BookTok, putting that in air quotes, or wherever people talk about smutty books. Find the new release. Get that one. I promise a woman or a man who's into this who reads books, actual physical books, has a stack of them they have not touched yet and is just a big backlog. Get them the new one. It's going to go on the stack. It'll be fine. They'll be happy with it. Second option, gift card. Gift card to a bookstore or an online marketplace. Leave a cheeky note about wanting to try out whatever situations they may read about or tell them you want a book report with demonstrations after they've read it. Third option is an audiobook gift card. I have friends who do enjoy smutty books, but they can't have physical copies around because they have little roommates, little government-mandated roommates that they have to keep alive, and those little kids, For party host gifts, we like to be a little different. Not difficult. Do not bring anyone alive. Animal, please. Or anything messy. Hosting a party is hard enough without worrying about making more mess. Leave the chocolate fondue fountain at home. We did really good a few months ago. There was a new couple we met, and they were throwing their first party. So we had learned a little bit about them, and we learned they had cats. I have cats. They have cats. is a lot of fun, and if you need a reason to do it, think about what I might get this person for their birthday. And okay, there may be people out there who never share anything personal beyond their preferences and blowjobs. Don't pry. Don't force them to share. People only share what they're comfortable with, and for them, you probably won't get them a present anyway. A wonderful, amazing lady that I know, she makes her friends custom beach towels with their names or their screen names on them. Another item that seems to be insanely popular, at least in my neck of the woods. Stuffed plushies and bracelets. I have no idea why, but so many of the women I know adore squishimals and the various knockoffs. No matter the size, women love getting squishimals. I have a bag of the little tiny ones I give out at events, and it makes people's day. The other cool and easy idea? Friendship bracelets. When was the last time you got a friendship bracelet from someone with like a personal message or an inside joke on it? You can get a kit of a thousand beads and string for ten bucks. It takes five minutes to make it and boom, instant present for anyone. My wife has been on a present making kick lately. All of our friends must have ten apiece at this point and I have a stack sitting on my desk. I will never wear all of these bracelets. Please don't tell her that. If anyone out there is thinking, well, that sounds immature, fuck you. All right? Being an adult is hard. Doing adult shit all day is hard. I don't like it. It's nice and wholesome and fun to just indulge. Squeeze a plushie and get a fun bracelet. Are you ready to party in paradise? Risqué Lifestyle Parties presents Pulsify 2025 at the Island Resort on the sparkling waters of the Gulf Coast in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Come for the two-day party that will take hotel takeovers to the next level in one place, with many stories and endless fun for you and your sexiest friends. Spend the day relaxing by the pool with swim-up bars, evenings on the white sand beach, and your nights with the hottest lifestyle DJs all in one place. Rooms now available. Go to risquélifestyleparties.com for more information. When you go out for a wild night, you want to be the hero of your own epic story. You want to do the kind of things the vanilla world can only dream of. You want to set the night on fire. stdhero.com has got you covered no matter where your story may go. Be the ultimate lifestyle hero with STD Hero's new Ultimate STI Testing Kit. The Ultimate Hero Panel is a comprehensive, affordable panel. for infections transmitted sexually, including anal and oral which can often be symptomless. The ultimate test screens for 13 high-risk STIs. It is the ultimate protection for those in the lifestyle. Compare the prices and see for yourself. STD Eros kits are shipped to your home in discreet packaging, utilising painless blood sample collection. Be safe out there. Be a hero of your own story. for 15% off your order at stdhero.com. Do's and don'ts. Useful information. Do keep the present thoughtful. Put effort in what you pick out for other people. They will appreciate that. Think about their hobbies, passions, and interests. You have probably been inside their house. Did you pay attention or were you too focused on getting your pants off? Small is fine. Small and fun is fine. Don't go too big unless it is a really special friendship, but if you go too big, they may feel indebted, and then it starts this vicious cycle of getting bigger and bigger presents for each other until one day, a new car shows up and everyone realizes this went on for way too long. For newish friends, stick to playful and fun. I don't want to say generic, but let's just fucking say generic, like a pineapple keychain. Perfect for new friends. When you have an established friendship, more thoughtful or sensual with the presents? Don't do rings. I don't know why I say this, but buying another person a ring in the lifestyle just feels ick, weird. If they are a close couple, then necklaces and jewelry are okay. I know I mentioned, for instance, bracelets, but there's a big difference between a bunch of plastic beads and a metal bracelet that costs you money. Yes, there may be cases, depending on the dynamic, with like poly couples that rings could be involved. I'm not diving into that topic. Always there on the side of caution. This one I have encountered and we may have differing outlooks on it. I don't know. I just want to share this story and put it in your head because it's in my head. A couple of years ago, two couples, it wasn't us. I heard about it though. They all had this brat dynamic going on where husband A bought jewelry for wife B and he wanted her to earn it, in air quotes, by being a good girl. This didn't progress being on him bringing up the subject because husband B shut that shit the fuck down. It felt weird when they were telling us about it. I don't know why. It felt like it was crossing a line and I don't know where the line is or what that line is. If you want to give someone a present, then do it. Don't make it part of a sexual exchange or make them earn it. That seems counterintuitive to the nature of presents. I don't know. But now you know about it and you can roll that around in your head. Don't make a present a veiled request for sex with you. You get someone a vibe and then insist on them using it in your presence with you or something. That means that present was not actually for them, it was for you. And they're just participating in your gift. Don't ignore boundaries. This has a bunch of pieces. If a couple does not drink, for instance, or they choose to live sober, don't buy them alcohol. If a couple is not in a BDSM, don't buy them a flogger. If a couple has a rule about not doing anal, why are you getting them anal lubricant? If you don't know them well enough to know their boundaries, then just Don't expect reciprocation. This is life advice right here. Give presents freely and genuinely without any expectation of repayment, reciprocation, or involvement. Yes, give your friend the vibrator knowing full well they may never use it. They may never use it around you. They may never use it in your presence. You gave a gift out of love, so let it be out of love without any additional emotions or strings attached. And going back to being present, yes, giving a physical object can be be stressful or cost money or you worry you pick out the wrong thing. You know what's never wrong? Your presence. Spending time with friends is the absolute best present you can give anyone. Look at it this way, money and time. Money, yeah, no one ever has enough of it, but you can get more money, which you can then turn into more stuff. You can't get more time. Time is finite. We only have so much time on this planet. Choosing to spend time, your precious, finite time with your friends. That is the ultimate present. Include friends in your plans. Invite them. Reach out. Even a text message can matter so much to people. Don't be afraid to reach out. I promise you that people want it. But Jason, I did reach out and they were busy this weekend. So? It doesn't mean they don't want to be around you. That means they had plans. Try again. Give people the chance to show up for you and they will. Our lives are too short to be held back by fear of rejection or fear of dismissal. Be the light others need, even if you think they don't. I promise you they do. And don't stress about the perfect gift because you are the perfect gift. Before I cut out today, I want to remind you about Pulsify. I've been running the commercial for it for months because I like it. I believe in it. I'm excited about it. I've done a lot of lifestyle events, different kinds and different flavors. This one is going to be different. This one's going to be unique. And it's really close. this episode. My wife and I are going to be there. Please come say hi. I love meeting people who listen to the show. I try to be super nice about it. I want to talk to you. I want to meet you. Fair warning. If you come up and say hi and tell me you listen to the show, my brain may shut down from sheer joy. I am warning you now. I will stumble on my words until my body decides the best course of action to hide my embarrassment is just give you a big giant hug. Consensually, of course. That's my defense mechanism. Hugs. I would make a terrible, terrible animal. I don't know how other lifestyle podcasters work. I've met a few and they're really nice. And me, I want to know your fucking story. I want to know who you are. If there's an episode that struck a chord, please tell me. Let me know. I plan on having t-shirts and bracelets for anyone who tells me that they listen to the show. Not a lot of shirts. I'm warning you now because them bitches are expensive. Say hi, get a t-shirt while supplies last. Come party with me. Let's go do some dumb For Pulsify, I think this is the first or at least the only takeover right now that is on a beach in the US. Niven is three days on Okaloosa Island so think between Fort Walton Beach and Destin in the panhandle of Florida. Warm sunny skies and white sandy beaches. Is it worth the drive or the flight to come? I think so. I hope so. Without doing much research, I think the nearest airport is Pensacola and then it's like an hour drive over to Okaloosa Island. I could be wrong. On Thursday, September 25th, we are all invading Crab Island during the day, and there's a meetup that night. What is Crab Island, Jason? What is this mythical, wonderful, mystical place? Crab Island is fucking awesome. In Destin Bay, you can go look it up on Google Maps, there's this big sandbar. The water is only about two feet deep, maybe a foot, two feet deep, and it's called Crab Island, and I have done some wild and stupid shit out there. On the Riske website, at risqué lifestyleparties.com you can purchase tickets to ride a pontoon boat out there for the day because the only way to get out there is by boat and my friends in Destin who had a boat moved so I haven't been out there this year I don't know if I went out there last year for the price of a ticket you get to ride you get a ride out there and you get to just hang out on Crab Island all day long and you have a pontoon boat to have chill on this event is getting bigger I know the owner originally I think he booked out a hundred rooms for it then he had to add more And as of this morning, he's adding even more. I encourage you, if you want to spend three days getting wild with lifestyle people, go to riskalifestyleparties.com for more information. I'm so excited that you might come hang out with me. To answer a few questions I've seen pop up about this event, is this a full takeover? No, not this year. This is not a full hotel takeover. So again, this is not a full hotel takeover. Most of the lifestyle people were going to be in our So we aren't going to be together. But again, not a full takeover. So just keep that in mind. You need to wear a cover-up if you're going to walk around the public areas. For the parties, what is the dress code? Keep the nips, the lips, and the peckers covered and the cracks. So ladies, keep your nipples covered. Wear pasties. You don't want the lips falling out. And no, I'm not talking about those lips, right? Oh, one other thing. Please keep your horny under control until you get back to your room risqué does not provide playrooms i always appreciate hearing your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics so feel free to reach out to me at host at that other lifestyle.com website is that other lifestyle.com my personal disclaimer i am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way i am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you this podcast is for entertainment purposes only and please join us for the next episode testing sti testing is important It takes a community to make a difference. Go to stdhero.com. Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. Whatever you may do today, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it. Know that you're appreciated and loved. Have a great day.