Cryptid Couples: Bigfoot, Branding, and the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies, a breeze on your back, and sand between your toes. Welcome to the Other Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Jason. Leave vanilla behind as we talk about cryptids. This show is for adults only. We will talk about sex, relationships, lifestyle, and ethical non-monogamy in an honest way with lots of real talk. If you are under 18, please stop listening. and go somewhere else. Around here on the beaches of sexual freedom, consent, education, and good times, everyone is welcome. Lifestyle, vanilla, or just the curious. Whatever your gender identity, expression, truth, flavor, you are welcome here. I do my best to use inclusive language, though you may hear words like husband or wife or man or woman to keep things simple. You want to connect, you can see me an email to host at thatotherlifestyle.com. I'm going to tell you to go to my website, thatotherlifestyle.com, for more information. But oh, I need to update that son of a bitch so bad. And I haven't done it. I promised myself over Christmas I was going to do it. And then I got distracted and I haven't done it yet. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to fucking update that website eventually. Anyway, go to stdhero.com. Use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order. Testing takes the community to make a difference. So go get STI tested and be safe out there. For the best lifestyle parties, check out risque lifestyleparties.com. There is one going on. This episode is late, if you have not noticed. It just fucking is. On a quiet Sunday afternoon last weekend, I sat down with my cup of coffee, my cat Bart was sitting on my desk, and I started writing an episode plenty of time ahead of recording on Thursday. Original script was all about the weird stuff, the quirks, the things that make absolutely no sense when looked at holistically within the lifestyle, like people having strong opinions about socks on during sex, or how I have seen so many women's buttholes, and I don't know their names or what their voices sound like. How many times I've seen women in stunning lingerie carrying around a big four-pound metal water jug tumbler. That doesn't go together. And yeah, on the surface, it felt like a good idea. I had a really good joke in there about meeting someone four times and never remembering their name. Started out, solid script, and then it degenerated into a list of things. And I don't like list episodes. There's no flow to it. It's just bullet points, and no one wants to listen to bullet points. So, threw it out. 3,000 words gone into the ether. I started this script that I'm sharing now on Tuesday morning. And then for some fucking reason at my vanilla job, meetings all day long, all fucking week, multiple meetings. I'm too burned out to think straight and want to write anything. So, and every day after work, we had to run errands. So, this episode is going to be a day late. It's coming out on Friday. Gave a serious thought and gave my permission to record it on Friday instead of Thursday to buy myself an extra day. And you may have noticed, to add to my week, that I don't sound my usual bouncing, wonderful, I don't know, self. I have allergies. The plants are trying to fucking kill me right now. And I'm probably going to lose my voice today at some point, but I decided I wanted to record this episode. And all the plants outside, they're making my eyes water, and my skin is shitty, and I'm fucking miserable. I've taken all the allergy medications, but this time of year, it happens every single year. I have allergies. We're going to live with it, and you're going to listen to my shitty voice today. At first, well, at least I did have an inspiration for this episode, Bigfoot. and I did have a plan. I wasn't worried about writing this out because I've written and recorded an episode before in like one epic single eight-hour stretch of fury and I figured at some point this week I would wake up at 2 a.m. and write in the quiet hours of the morning like I've done before. I have my best work I have written in darkness huddled over my laptop in a bathrobe. That didn't happen either. My mental health is much better so now I sleep through the night again like a functional human adult. with no food at home because I had to go buy groceries this week too. No more wide awake at 2am, brain spinning like a V8 engine full of jet fuel. This is good. I did not have as much time to write. So, no time, allergies, Bigfoot, cryptids, Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, the Rougarou, Loch Ness Monster, and the Mothman. Yes, this is still that other lifestyle podcast, just run with me. Creatures that lurk in our stories, in the woods going bump in the night. GZ reality shows trying to hunt down these legends that I stopped watching because those fucking shows never actually found anything. Whole hour of my life wasted. And that is another reason I don't watch television. It has let me down too many times. Everyone knows of cryptids. And that's the name for them in case you didn't know. Cryptids as opposed to supernatural or paranormal entities like ghosts. Cryptids are physical animals that could exist, but they could be real. Are they real? I don't know. All we have to go off of is grainy pictures, legends, campfire stories, the kind of stories that are shared when people are naked, retarging between rounds of sex. I promise the next couple we are naked with, I am breaking up Bigfoot at the worst possible time. I'm going to whisper it into a lady's ear. I blame the allergy medication for that idea. These cryptids are entities that may or may not be real, but everyone knows who they are. Everyone knows the deal with Bigfoot or Sasquatch or Ukamar or the Yeti. Tall, hairy, ape men. They live in the woods eating berries and scaring people. I propose that there are couples in the lifestyle who are effectively cryptids. They are couples that everyone knows of and no one knows them personally. This is because of good marketing. I'm coining a new term for the lifestyle, a cryptid couple. A couple that may be in a chat group or on a site with validations and pictures. People know they're real. They are real. They're not fakes or lifestyle LARPers. But no one has actually had a conversation with them in person. Maybe there was a super sexy couple in your local area that moved away, and their presence still lingers. Or there was a couple that made a huge splash at a party, and then just up and fucking disappeared. Or there's a couple that everyone knows of, but no one has spent any time with them. Then there's this frantic session of triangulation as people try to figure out who actually knows these fucking people. How the fuck does this connect? I don't know if Bigfoot is or any of the other cryptids out there. I did give a friend a stuffed Jersey devil for her birthday because she is from New Jersey. Now she travels with it and I think it is currently in the UK with her and that is super fucking cute. You know about these creatures. You've heard of them. These mysterious creatures. You've heard of them because of good branding and marketing. Do you think anyone would give two shits about Loch Ness in Scotland unless there was a monster living there? Have you ever heard of Loch Monar? No. There's another big-ass lake in Scotland that no one has heard of. No one would know about the big hairy man-ape that someone's drunk uncle saw one night while he was illegally hunting deer from the side of the road unless that man was put on television and given his nine minutes of fame to recount how he got drunk on a gallon of wine and got scared in the middle of the night. Here's a deep one. How many of us grew up with unsolved mysteries every Tuesday night scaring the right shit out of us about aliens and monsters? of this show was in other countries, but I'm positive it exists. Let me unlock a core memory for you. For every mystery, there is someone somewhere who knows the truth. Perhaps that someone is watching. Perhaps it's you. If you or someone you know has information, please call this number, 1-800-876-5353. Don't call that phone number. I am not responsible for what happens when someone calls that phone number. My wife knows that number by heart. I mentioned to her I was referencing Unsolved Mysteries in this episode, and she just, bam, recites that phone number from memory. The show ran for 10 years, and it served to scare a whole fucking generation of people, me included, every Tuesday night. Marketing. This was all marketing for these creatures. Marketing and branding, spreading the word about these cryptids, just like couples in the lifestyle, spreading the word and letting people know they exist. This is basic marketing that we can do. How are we presenting ourselves to others? How is the information picture's reputation we have enticing others to talk to us or avoid us? And if that sounds a little bit icky, we can reframe all this later. Advertising science, and yes, there is a science to this shit, says that people need to see a message or an ad seven times before they remember it. And I've written advertising copy many times, and the emphasis is always on exciting and impactful words, bright colors, making a statement, Conveying an emotion. We can do that with our picks and presents. And emotions. I'm setting that up for an idea later. Take something for an example. Perfume ads. They make no fucking sense at all, but they do this. Perfume companies are trying to sell a scent via a visual medium, so they use emotions, impactful images, like a woman riding a white horse through a skyscraper to grab the audience's attention in a way that will make people want to sniff that bottle and buy it. We can do the same thing. Just like that mysterious couple that drops a stunning nude once a week to remind people that they exist. Yeah, we can do this. How does this translate into doing this into the lifestyle stuff that we do? Aren't we doing the same thing when we put ourselves out there? We're trying to evoke emotion from people, attraction, interest based on images, and the allure of us. people have a resource that we are interested in, be it emotional, mental, or physical, and we are in a position usually, hopefully, to make choices on where our attention and time will go. Conversely, other people, they're doing the same shit to us right now. There's a constant stream of human data flowing through websites, takeovers, dates, algorithms, running in the background of our minds trying to determine if another person is worthy, acceptable, available, or interested in us. We are still lizard brain cave people, trying to entice new people to our tribe with offers of warmth and meat, now we just have shiny bricks and rocks to help us. We are still cave people trying to figure out if that bump outside the campfire light is friendly or not. I wanted to touch on this topic because it was inspired by a couple of incidents, people, and situations. For one, there's a couple that we know. They are stupid, attractive, oh my god, they're so hot. They participate in a lot of social chat groups. here locally. They post pics online and generally let people know that they exist. The rub is they live on the other side of the country, but again, most people in our local area know of them because of their participation in these groups. Another inspiration is profiles once a week. I get bored at work. I go looking at the new profiles on the various sites in our area, and I see how people are marketing themselves. They might put up one picture where their face is covered in a a single sentence of looking for fun. What the fuck is that? There is nothing here that would entice or compel me to be interested. Give me a reason to look deeper. Give me a reason to reach out. Invoke, induce, indulge me in a way that catches my attention. And there's a caveat here. Those pictures and stuff? Look, it does not have to be dick pics to grab attentions. It does not have to be nudity. It could be a picture of someone eating a cake with a a funny hat on for all I care. That would catch my attention. That could compel me to reach out by showing a sense of humor. Incidental inciting incidents of inspiration. And alliteration is the best. The third example, reputation, your personal reputation. And oh, fuck me, I know. I am making this sound so high school right now, but it's the truth. What is your personal reputation in the community? And I would recommend, do not go asking around about this because it has the potential to make you feel very sad very quickly, as I have personally learned out. Turns out I'm an asshole. Ha ha. Some people said that. I need to work on that. Instead, try to fill out through circumstantial evidence. Are people welcoming to you? Do people mention that other people mention you? Do you get invited to like the low-pressure, not organized situations of, hey, we're having a board game night, let's hang out? Or the all-important, is it your name that people drop in conversations to help establish connections with new people? Like, oh, we know Jason and his wife and da-da-da-da. Within the lifestyle, whether we like it or not, we are always marketing ourselves to the greater community. Marketing sounds bad, I know, because it has this association with promoting a product and we are not products. So let's reframe this away from humans being the product to an emotional impression of you. A personal brand is an emotional impression that you give other people. Now, there is an argument for non-marketing. Oh, people should just like us for us, and people may not be comfortable thinking about this as marketing. I have encountered people who, in a roundabout way, share that they believe themselves to be so amazing, so sexy, so shiny, that people wouldn't actually flock to them. Not, they don't need to participate in such trivial matters as sharing a pic. It might feel uncomfortable, but who else is going to blow the horde to let others know how awesome you are? Other people might do this, yeah. They might share how awesome you are, but ultimately, you are the ones responsible for sharing your own fucking glory. Look at this from an efficiency standpoint, and I fucking love efficiency. If a couple goes into a group chat and drop close-up pics of their vagina and their pecker, my perception is going to be that couple is interested and mainly sex. No issue with that. If that same couple dropped pictures from a vacation feeding toucans, my perception of them would be different. They shared efficiently with a large group of people what they are looking for and influence a bunch of perceptions very quickly. Depending on what a couple is sharing, it creates a perception around them, you know this, of what they want and what they are looking to attract. There's no point in trying to fish for a shark in a lake. You get what you put the bait out for. If a couple, is looking for bang bang happy time sex. Yeah, throw out some nudes and day pics. If a couple is looking for more connections, throw out the vacation pictures. Neither is right or wrong because what you are doing is creating a compelling image of yourself in the eyes of others, attracting those who would be interested in the mate. We are sharing our values, our intentions, and little micro-interactions. Give another example. Gym pics. If someone posts a gym pic, I will assume they are into fitness. and working out. Taking it a step further, a person could also assume this fitness couple is into other couples that are into fitness. Granted, assumptions can be wrong and they can be really fucking wrong sometimes, but we're going off a face value of what is being presented here, which is all, that's every bit of the relevant data we have to go off of. If we want more data about what that fitness couple is into, then we need to have a conversation with them. They are compelling us in one way or another Act with them to find out more based on basically what this advertisement they shared. And being sexy and attractive alone is not the same as being compelling. Being sexy and attractive is the bait that draws people in, but being compelling is the hook. Being compelling is creating a mystique about yourself. It's fucking bragging, okay? And that's okay. Yes, this could be construed as bragging. I get that. But it's also putting the best image out there. Intentionally creating something special about yourself. Showing people how fucking awesome you are. And that's not bad. Isn't all social media carefully curated pictures of bullshit and bragging? I'm not sure how many other people have dealt with this as a kid and now have this lingering thought in the back of their heads, but I struggle with it. I still struggle with it. Whenever I post an episode or make a social media post, I still have that little tiny voice in the back of my head that says, Oh no, you're drawing attention to yourself. People are going to laugh at you. Artwork. Don't be too loud or else it might upset the boss or a co-worker or you might get fired for being too excited about something. Just stay quiet. This comes from, did you ever hear as a kid that children should be seen and not heard or children should not speak unless spoken to? I fucking grew up with this shit. Asshole relatives. Credit to my last boss who really helped me deal with this shit. He made me make a special folder on my computer to keep all the compliments and kudos I receive from people. When I was having a bad day, he would make me open up that folder and read everything out loud to him. This is a huge help. But yeah, there's this lingering feeling that if we brag about ourselves, that's somehow wrong or even a sin. Good people don't do this. They should stay quiet. If you speak up too loud, then people are going to judge you. Look, our hobby is having sex with people we meet off the internet. We are This little voice, and I know other people have it, comes from when people taught us they made us feel small, to be quiet, not to brag about our achievements. If you shine your light too bright, then someone will come along and take it, or they're going to gossip. I know social media has completely upended this dynamic, but for a small sliver of Generation X and the early Millennials, we still have this. And for some of us, the struggle is real. The struggle to let our own light shine, to speak up, to say, hey, notice me out of all the other people here. Let me tell you right now, you have permission and encouragement to do this. The lifestyle is a place where you can brag and shine and be your glorious radiant self all you fucking want to. And people in your community, your friends, people who want to get to know you are going to fucking celebrates you and rewards you with sex. Share. Share your picks. Share your quirks. Share all that makes you special because it will grab someone's attention and compel them to talk to you. I know what we present to others becomes the first impression. It could also be the lasting impression. So there's this chat group I'm a member of. One of the guys this week posted pictures of his shibari work with his wife. Do you know what shibari is? It's the really fancy rope knotting that They do on people. Very sexy pictures of ropes in the human body. I learned all about the kinky possibilities of a hotel luggage cart. That dude is going to be known as the rope guy going forward. And it's not a bad thing. People are going to remember him. People are going to want to talk to him because they know something about him now that they're interested in. This group chat lit up with people interested in what he shared. Women were very interested in what he shared. How fucking cool is that? And these weren't like overly graphic pictures. They were tasteful, right? But he fucking nailed it. He fucking nailed creating a mystique around himself, a brand. And anyone can do this. Anyone create a personal brand. What is it that stands out about you? Is it a hobby? Is it a physical feature? Maybe it's your love of Dungeons and Dragons or fiery red hair. Create an anchor or an association in people's minds. that they will associate with you. And it might be boats. We hung out with one of our friends who has a giant boat. He can be the boat guy, take sexy pictures on the boat, put it out there, mention the boat often, and then they become the boat people. And then when people meet them, they can say, oh, hey, you're the boat people. Tell us about your boat. Give you a real example. There is a woman out there. I have met her like two times before. I actually don't remember her name, but what I do remember is she was learning to play the guitar. That is that perception that I have of her is in my brain. And sure as shit, if I see her again, I'm going to ask about that. Did she mean to do this to my brain? No. But it shows how little details like that can create a perception in our brains and compel us to retain that information for a later date. And it's going to compel me to talk to her again out of curiosity. And yes, I know how cliche that sounds. It gives people a hook to talk to you. Random people at a party can come up to you and know that you have a boat. Are you like the guitar? Are you like rope? That's a topic they can lead with. That's the value of putting yourself out there. It lets people know what to talk to you about, what your interests are. This does not have to be your favorite sex position. We are more than sex objects, okay? And while the lifestyle, yeah, we tend to guard our ventilation. there is zero harm in letting people know that you have a hobby that you enjoy. Just like if I ask you to draw a Bigfoot, you have an image, you're picturing it right now, of Bigfoot. Ask how to project yourself into a community in a way that would allow people to draw that image of you. They say your name and they picture you. But Jason, what if they have the wrong perception of me? What if people think I'm really stuck up, but in actuality, I'm a kind and gentle person? Ha ha, dear soul, I understand. I can sympathize on this really hard. I have resting murder face. This is an evolved form of resting bitch face, where apparently at events, I look scary as hell. I even got Botox to alleviate this. And nope. On the cruise we were on a few weeks ago, one of our friends would randomly run over and try to make me smile, so I looked more approachable. And I know to some people, yes, I seem very unapproachable and I appear to be an asshole because of my face. I can only control half the story here. For me, I know being more approachable in person would probably lower my asshole score a lot. When people see me in events and I'm in resting murder phase mode, it's probably because I'm exhausted and I want to go the fuck to bed. If no one is fucking me, then just let me go to sleep. People see this. They see the resting murder phase. their brains are going to fill in the rest of the story. I appear to be an asshole or unpleasant or unhappy. Therefore, ha ha, asshole. Promise I am not. I am very kind and huggable. Where marketing ends, where evidence ends, the story in their minds begins. Look at the Loch Ness Monster. Based on photographs, a scientist, woo, person, started the theory that the Loch Ness Monster is a plesiosaur. of that monster are based on a dinosaur that lived millions of years ago when it could have just as well been a seal or a whale or a log. Someone filled in the gaps based on half information and now there's a giant wooden plesiosaur outside of a tourist trap in Scotland. We can put out the pictures and the text in our profiles, but ultimately people are going to form their own opinions on us and that leads to what happens when we need to change people's perceptions of us. Is there a way to do that? that? Yes, I'm glad you asked. It is called rebranding. Most people simultaneously have memories of goldfish in eons. They will remember they saw a person at a party last night and then immediately mention that years ago at another party, that person did something stupid or epic and completely forget all the middle shit. You do not change people's perceptions of you by explaining yourself. You change it by presenting new evidence over time. Companies do this all the fucking time through rebrands. This goes back to that advertising science. Yes, a first impression can stick, but the last impression matters. Repeated impressions matter. Going back to those seven impressions that I mentioned earlier, if someone hears a nasty thing about a couple, they may go into an interaction with that specific couple with that nasty comment in their mind. But there's an opportunity to change that perception as well. Present new evidence of better behavior. Granted, no one owes you a re-evaluate. a negative image of a couple will stick around until more evidence is provided. It doesn't naturally change on its own, though it may soften in time. To change a perception or a reputation takes repeated interactions with multiple people in order for the image to change in the collective consciousness. If pictures of Bigfoot start showing up with a big ol' purple dildo every single picture, yeah, over time, people are going to start picturing Bigfoot with a big purple dildo in their minds. covered in mud and hang out with his buddies. That is the fucking life there. Now all these tourists want to ruin a form. Oh my god, that's a good analogy for the lifestyle. I need to remember that. So yeah, not all attention is equal or the kind you want. You put a nude out there, maybe it will attract people who perceive sexual interest based on that picture. You go to a party and you get pissed-ass drunk. People are going to notice that and may withhold attention in the future. Some people are lusted after. Some are avoided. Others are simply known to exist. Do not confuse visibility with desirability and desirability for connection if that's what you're looking for. Just because a cryptic couple shares a picture in a group chat does not mean they want your attention specifically. They're looking for collective attention and maybe advertising themselves a little bit. Let's be honest. If a hot couple drops a nude in a group chat or on a site, they want attention. They want eyeballs on them. This is not bad... We're going back to Fort Walton Beach, Florida for Luminous the first weekend of May. And then we're going back to Fort Walton Beach for Pulsify the first weekend of October. Then there's a new event I need to tell you about. It's a brand new hotel takeover in New Orleans for Halloween called Sultry Spirits. All these parties are Risqué Lifestyle Parties. You can find out more information at risquélifestyleparties.com, all one word. And I need to tell a story real quick. That ties into Risqué. And I meant to tell it last week. And the script got away from me. So at Risqué, there is a DJ. DJ Fabes. I've had him on the show before. And he is one of the coolest, kindest men I have ever met. That man can make a fucking party anywhere. Anywhere, I say. As proof of this, when we went on the fantasy cruise a few weeks ago, he started spinning in the buffet area of the cruise ship at midnight. This man pulled in a crowd. He had like 50-60 people dancing in the buffet area of a cruise ship. Fucking wild. DJ Faves plays a great mix of songs. It was not just EDM or house music like the wah. Can't stand that shit. I've heard him play Madonna, Metallica, and a lot of shit I did not recognize, but I enjoyed it. He is by far my favorite DJ period. And he plays all of Risque parties. even though I call it a rave all the fucking time yeah it turns into rave music later at night but DJ Fabes when he's playing it is a wonderful mix of music please I encourage everyone come to risque listen to DJ Fabes and you're going to find out why he's my favorite DJ thank you for listening to it again every week make sure you tell a friend about the show thank you to the love of my life my wife who is on this wonderful journey with me again apologies for my voice it is Allergies, but I'm bound and determined to get something out this week. If you want to reach out, ask a question, suggest a topic, send me an email to host at thatofthelifestyle.com. My personal disclaimer, I'm not a medical professional nor a trained and certified educator of any kind in any way. I'm a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode. Go to sddhero.com, use my promo code TOL15 for 15% off your order and get tested. Whatever you may do today or tonight, I hope you do it with enthusiasm. Consent, curiosity, and a little bit of spice. You are appreciated and loved. I'll see you for the next one.