Step into the world of non-monogamous relationships with host AC Maxwell on today's episode of the Swinging Single Podcast. Joining us is the illustrious Duchess of Dick, a renowned figure in the swinging community, sharing her invaluable advice and insights for fellow swingers.Explore a candid and enriching conversation as we delve into the nuances of swinging, offering practical tips, relationship advice, and guidance on navigating the intricacies of non-traditional partnerships. Whether you're a seasoned swinger seeking new perspectives or a curious newcomer looking to learn more, this episode is packed with wisdom and guidance from the Duchess of Dick and host AC Maxwell. Tune in for a captivating and informative discussion that promises to enlighten and inspire.
Transcript
Welcome to the Swinging Single Podcast with your host, A.C. Maxwell, broadcasting from the legendary Upside Down Pineapple Studios in the heart of Texas. For over two decades, I've embraced the swinging lifestyle as a single male, and on this show, I'm here to share my wildest tales and maybe some few other people's wildest tales and experiences with you. So grab some lube and tissues, and for the spouses out there, get cozy and settle in for some uncensored, eye-opening stories on the Swingin' Single podcast. Take it away, President Trump. Host A.C.
Maxwell is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. The opinions, views, and content expressed or shared on the podcast are solely those of the host, A.C. Maxwell, and any featured guests or contributors, and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, or partners. Any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract, engagement, or formal advice. The content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws.
By continuing to listen to the podcast, you agreed to be bound by the then current version of this disclaimer. By listening to the Swinging Single podcast, you acknowledge that you have read and understand this disclaimer and agree to its terms. Shave your cock and balls, gentlemen. Excuse me. Excuse me. Shut the fuck up. No real fans. Empty set at the festival. All these boys in bands just draining their testicles. You're the best. Bro, can I feel you, fuck? I like your gear. Who's your tech? Bro, I'm so good at shit. Oh, yeah. We're here. Another episode.
We got the dear abby a swinging the duchess of dick is here she's just got back from a date pussy full to come i got you on mute so you can't say anything and we're gonna talk some we're gonna give some advice we're gonna get done real quick so we can get her some food you know after her nice round of jizz in her pussy she has to get some food all right you can talk now that's not nice what that you got some you got a cream pie not nice did you put me on mute oh well you know i you know, I got to do what I got to do. I guess. All right.
Remember, go to SwingingSinglePodcast.com to see all things AC. Email me at SwingingSinglePodcast at gmail.com. Any questions, comments, complaints? Not your complaints. Just kidding. Yeah, fuck it.
I don't care don't care complaints they're going to complain anyways remember this is a swinging single podcast i it's a podcast of swinging as a single male not as a couple all the experiences come through my eyes and my eyes only so if you're upset because i have a different take on the lifestyle well guess what too bad because i'm a single male you're a couple you have a different take all right so we have the duchess of dick here well known in the world of the community beautiful this is this is ac all the time yeah she's like give me a dirty dirty look so tell us about last night.
You went on a date last night. Where did you meet this young, strapping hunk of a man? So I prefer Bumblebee. Okay, what's wrong? Why? Let me blow my nose. Why do you prefer Bumble? And that's Scene Queen from Amazon Music, if you were ever wondering about the awesome music. Why do you care Bumble over everyone else? I think if memory serves me correctly, Tinder really limits the number of swipes or likes, whichever. I mean, Bumble does that too. But I think there's... I think I get a better mix with Bumble. I haven't tried Tinder in a while. Maybe I'm wrong.
Well, I don't know because I'm a guy. I have to pay for unlimited swipes. Yes, that's correct. So did you have to pay as a woman too? I do not do unlimited swipes, so I don't pay. But after a while, it's like, oh, you've reached your capacity for likes today. Maybe that's why you don't like it, because you're going to have to pay probably, right? I mean, I'll get a certain number of swipes a day. It's either way. The model is the same, I think. Yeah. Anyways, so you prefer, you met him on Bumble. You talked for a while. You met.
You went had drinks dinner drinks we had drinks just drinks yeah because it was at 10 o'clock so it was so late yeah and what's your first impression of him first impression was actually of the bar we went to of all things because it was so loud the bar is loud that's a bad bad start right there i know so we but it gave me an excuse to like lean in be a little close if i if if i needed to do that because he also has an accent so it's harder to kind of understand him at certain times what is he what is he hispanic asian you know i didn't ask not indian but Indian. But he's not Hispanic?
Not Hispanic. Ooh, because, see, that's very rare in this city in Houston. Brown. He's a brown fella. So he's probably Indian, Pakistani? Don't know. All right. Anyways, good looking. Tall? Short? Taller than I am.
Taller than you, which is always a requirement for that's fine i mean i've dated short guys do have you i have oh look at you you're eco-opportunist i am a lot of women aren't i know a lot of women will like i'm seeing on swinger website because i want to talk about doing ads on swinging and i see a lot of couples where they'll look for a guy he has to be over six foot tall i'm like why are you limiting yourself crazy to me not a lot of people are six feet tall i the average height for american male is five foot eight oh wow so you're shorter than i thought no it is five foot eight and you're limiting shit so 50 you're automatically limiting over 50 of your opportunities yeah i don't know what the bell curve looks like on that yeah because like when i'm dating i goes well i don't like this girl i don't like that because i always say i don't like asian women but i would you know i had to think about it i'm limiting eliminating them from the equation which an asian woman might be perfect for me or a black woman or hispanic woman or that because you know growing up in detroit it's always it's just black and white yeah you didn't have any detroit yeah you didn't have a lot of asian people and all that but when you move down here to houston you got all flavors so i had to open up my playbook and if i didn't open up my playbook i wouldn't get laid as much as i would because i eliminated probably shit a good 50 of the population here yeah i mean yeah it's a diverse city down here so it's very weird that women are swinging i can see if you're dating now if you're looking to get married and date i can see where say well i don't want anyone under six foot i can see that i still think that's a little crazy to me but that's me But that's more of like a protection thing where it's primal.
Back to the caveman days. Who can be a protector? It's in our DNA. In your DNA. My DNA might be messed up then. No, I think you're just a better person than a lot of people. Oh, maybe. Because when I'm dating, I don't look at, you know, some guys won't date a girl that's fat. I don't care. I want I want a girl who's going to treat me well. That's all I care about. That would be good. And have a career. Got that. Not a job. Not a job. A career and a job are different. A career and a job are definitely different. I don't want to struggle because you want to be a fucking fuck up. So.
Amen yeah so you know i see that now it's like ugh so i don't know so he's average height taller than you taller than me how long did you guys stay out like an hour and a half or so that's it i mean i'm not a night owl. I know. Leave me alone. But what did you talk about? Just all manner of things. And it's at the end, you're going to go, who decided to leave? Oh, you? Well, we both have to drive distances to get home. So we were conscious of how much we were drinking. And, you know, we both had two drinks.
And that was more than plenty, because, you know, especially with the presence of cops on the road this time of year, don't want to do anything stupid. Um, so I wanted to make sure that we could both get home safely and we'll walk around the block afterward once we left the bar, but it was colder than I thought it was. So I mean, I love winter, but I didn't bring my coat.
um it was short it was a short block city block kiss there was a kiss good kisser it was a good kiss yeah it was not bad tongue open mouth it was not open mouth really it was not open mouth really but are you i don't I don't know. Are you a tongue kisser? I am. So that's a deep, passionate kiss, right? It's got to be there. Yeah. All right. So you hung out. You kissed. Say goodnight. You went your ways. Mm-hmm. How long does the Duchess of Dick wait to move on if they don't call back? How long are you going to wait? Forever? No, not forever. Before you say, okay, he's not interested?
I think if it's been more than two weeks and I don't hear anything. Oh, shit. Two weeks? You're very liberal with that. I mean, shit happens. Life happens. Well, I'm going to tell you something, Duchess. No one on this planet, and I mean no one, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, no one's too busy on this planet to text, I'm busy, I'll talk to you later, yada, I want to talk to you. It takes me five seconds, ten seconds. No one's that busy.
When people say, oh, I've been been busy that means they've been trying to fuck around with someone else that fell through now you're the backup so I don't wait long like you two weeks I give them a couple shit I'll talk about that girl the cock cold couple I met and why I moved on within 48 hours all right so anyways We'll see you next time.
i met and why i moved on within 48 hours all right so anyways so you you go off you go home nothing happens no sex no sexy time no sexy time you were wearing some pants a nice lovely sweater for the winter i was got your little tiny thong bikini panties on uh this was not a thong this these were like the boy short briefs. You mean the granny panties you're wearing right now? No, these were matching with my sexy lacy bra. Thank you so much. So I got the sexy granny panties today. I got here in a hurry to help you. Thank you so much. I know. I appreciate it, too. Good.
And you'll get your appreciation later, so don't worry about it anyways so hopefully it works out now if this guy is he a swinger does he know about your past he does not know about my past um i don't think no i'm gonna say no i don't think we talked that. The bar was just way too loud for that kind of conversation. Would you tell him? Oh, sure. All right. Oh, I can't wait to see this one. Can I record it? No. Why not? I want to hear this conversation. I think it's, does he, is there any telltale signs that he might be in the swinging or was a swinger? No, he's explicitly said monogamy.
The monogamy. Alright. And you are looking for that too. So that makes it good. That makes it good. Does he have a good job? A career? He has a career. Okay, good. Alright. I'm just working out for you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Someone's got to look out for you. I look out for me. Sometimes. I could have told you something a couple months ago, but you didn't want to listen to me. I, when you got your little boyfriend, I stepped away, just kept in contact once in a while. You totally dissed me. Yeah, she did. The Duchess of Dick dissed AC, but it's okay. She made up for it. Trust me.
She's making up for it.
And she's going to make up for it now me she's making up for it and she's gonna make up for it now right I hope so yeah I'm gonna give her that chance all right so anyways like I always said Dutch is a dick always has some great advice because she's been through the ringer once or twice before and she really does have some great advice to give I call her the dear Abby of the swinging community that's generous thank you that was true dear abby gives some decent advice not always good advice but you give some great advice we talked yesterday about a couple the lady wants this guy's big dick and salt and pepper here and the hubby looks at the wife and goes the the guy's wife and goes oh i'm not interested anymore, fuck it, you gotta move on.
Now, they've been together they've been swinging together a few years. That makes this a little different too. Makes it harder. Makes it harder because there's a connection for sure. I always say once you go into swinging that Pandora box gets open and you might not like what's in that box. And I think this gentleman is regretting it. Well, he was. I think he was regretting that. The wife that he was with is getting fatter, while his wife loves the gentleman because of his big dick and salt and pepper hair. Sure. And I think he's, I feel bad for the guy. But you know what? That's his problem.
He's got laid a law down. And you gave some good advice yesterday. And that's why I said, come on, let's do this.
It's a little easier you gotta you gotta have those rules which we've talked about fuck people break those rules in a heartbeat so here's one a guy emails me problems with the wife and the swinger life oh oh yeah so he says we started swinging the lifestyle a few months ago and it was fun and enjoyable well not three yeah a couple months ago and it's enjoyable he met with some couples they met some couples uh made some friendships with three uh we have met on a semi-regular basis with one couple that we really like did it it did not work this is dumb reading writing this i'm just reading word for word i'm don't fucking people do not get mad at my grammar with one couple that we really like it did not worked that's unfortunate the other woman was not interested in me that's okay it is not the first time it the last and it's spelled it i are so i don't know like i said they're writing this not me the thing they asked if they could be anyways with my wife so he wants they ask the wife is not into him the but the couples are into his wife so they ask can they play with his wife only?
You know, okay. He said no to that. Okay. He said he felt a moment hurt, a moment hurt and a little humiliated. That's like cock holding.
My wife reacted not so good and asking why she is not allowed to do it, that she would be okay if I do that I don't feel comfortable and also jealous he's jealous of it now the topic has come out a few times and our relationship is struggling because of it, she feels that me not allowing this is something against her freedom and autonomy and I do understand that she assures me that nothing bad will happen and our relationship will not suffer from that Thank you.
something against her freedom and autonomy and i do understand that she assures me that nothing bad will happen and our relationship will not suffer from that i'm not sure i think things could get worse could get confused okay she already knows i feel hurt and think she can accept this and move on i'm not so sure she can what i can do what can i do or assimilate this and move on i feel stuck in a loop of hurt and re treating myself inward sorry for the long post okay all right so what should this guy do first off it sounds like um i might consider couples therapy one that.
That's always an option. I hear you laughing. But it sounds like if it's a loop, if it's the same conversation without any other new resolution, either way, y'all need some extra help, probably. That's my two cents. That's a little tough love.
from the practical swinging side who said this once I'm going gonna say it again if you're not all in all mean both people get out there will be other couples preserve the relationship that's way more important mm-hmm that's what I say I want to know why what why does he feel jealous and why does he feel sad about this no with me I'm more I'm very confident in myself yes me and you we're married however long a couple says you know what we're really not into ac but we literally like you can we just play with you i would sit there and i would feel as a single guy i think my my ability to take rejection is a lot better than 99% of the couples take rejection because I get rejected all the time.
I go to a club. I went to Colette's last night, and you get rejected 100 times there.
So I think what I would have said to her to my wife would go, listen, all right, I'm okay with you playing with with them but i need to be there to watch i don't want to be if you're going to go off they want you by yourself with no one there not me there it's a no and if you need to be with a couple like that then we might need to think about something else where we move on from each other see that's also an option i am very because like i said like i would never tell my woman that she can't do something as long as i'm there because this is why i always agree why i'm on there i know i get tested couples tell me they get tested they're not tested anyways i don't trust them to wear condoms.
Like when I do, I have gang, I set up gang bangs for a couple. I make sure I'm watching because the guys will slip off the condoms when the girl's behind doing doggy. And I seen that happen millions of times. And you got to be very careful because I don't trust other people. I don't, the couple there, I would tell her you can play with them, but I'm going to be there to watch. And you know what? I might fuck you during it, but I don't have to touch his wife. Isn't that a great compromise there? That's an option, too. I could say, hey, you know what, buddy?
Listen, I know she's not into me, but this is what's going to happen. We're all four of us going to go in the room. We're all going to get naked. I'm going to fuck my wife. You're going to fuck my wife. And you're going to fuck my wife. I'm not going to touch your wife. And if they're okay with that, let's go. That's true. If they're not okay with it, then I tell my wife, listen, we can move on. We can find another, trust me, we can find a lot of other couples. Especially, I don't know if this couple is good looking or not. They could be really good looking.
They ain't going to have a shortage of people wanting them. Sure. But if they're ugly, maybe. OK, I don't know. So I don't know. I don't know. So I would just say that. I would just tell them, try to come with a compromise. And if your wife can't move on from this, there's something wrong with your wife or you're not communicating well enough. Yeah, you got to have that communication on both sides. It's not just him or her. It's got to be both. Yeah, I feel bad for the guy because you know what? It sucks. It does suck.
That sucks to be rejected and it sucks to be in a position of feeling wanted. But, you know, you can't do anything about it for your partner maybe there's that too i mean there's only so much anybody can do and at the end of the day you got to decide what's the most important thing is it this is it the sexy fun time or is it preserving the relationship now do you think you should ask that couple why she's not into him? No, I wouldn't, personally. Really? I wouldn't. Okay, because I'm going to, okay. You can, by all means. Me, personally, I would not. Okay.
Because you never know, it could be something, maybe he smells. Maybe. He could take a shower. Could. Maybe he's hairy. He could shave. Could. Yeah.
So I don't know, I might have, I might have, you know what i i don't know i might have i might have you know what i don't know if i would ask actually i wouldn't give a shit but like you know what i know me i'm a good looking cat i can get some woman so i'm not worried about it but if he's if he really does maybe he should just ask hey you know why why you don't want to play with me and all that i think they don't want to i don't i think they're just trying to get a female a threesome with two women i think that's what they're trying to do that's totally true so i No.
I think they're just trying to get a female, a threesome with two women. I think that's what they're trying to do. That's totally true. So I don't know. Anyways, so that's one. Good. Good job. All right. Tough one. Right off the bat, we hit, boom, divorce. I never said. You said couples therapy. I will support the idea of therapy as an individual, as a couple, all the time. Hands down. It is useful. It's educational. It brings that level of self-awareness, at least I hope. Yeah. It does help. I say people need the priorities. There's mental health over everything. Dude, you got to.
Take time for you. And maybe that looks like therapy. And maybe it doesn't. maybe it means getting a massage once a month i know i could go for one so bad and you are looking to get laid after the show we could go get massages well see that's what couples do girl i'm sorry i'm a little rusty i know you are oh i thought you had a boyfriend like months ago. We never got massages. You never got the massages together? No. How about pedicures? No, never. Those are good. I know. I just got one done. My toes look great. You want to see? Later. Do you get designs on them? No. No, you just get color?
Just a color. I have them do the wax, the buffet, to make them nice and shiny. I don't put anything on there. But they always make fun of the Asian girls. They always make fun of me. Oh, you want red? You want blue? That's not nice. What? You got to be able to joke with yourself, though. I know. I laugh. They think they just do it to bust my balls. Sure. Yeah. You got to. Girl, whatever. So, yeah, so, you know, it's tough.
it is tough out there for couples mental health keep your mental health in check do whatever you need to do but don't not get your mental health check all right so that was a tough one how about a soft issue right now let's do it and when i mean soft i mean penis. Uh-oh, yeah. Okay. This is the plague that faces a lot of single men that they need to avoid. Okay. But I think this is a couple. Okay. And I'm questioning some of this. And they sounded young. I'm like, ooh, I don't know. So, hello.
We have been in the lifestyle only for a few months okay so they're newbies i can now okay so from the headline sheet he put on there i think i could say why okay we put a lot of work matching vetting and scheduling with couples and singles oh my god but of whom that already sends like a lot of work just go to a club and find them there if it works for you it works for you all right they must not have a lot of they must have a lot of work. Just go to a club and find them there. If it works for you, it works for you. They must have a lot of free time. Well, good for them.
We've had had five experiences, kind of. Couple swap and male-female males. Threesomes. Every time, say for once, the male has not been able, except for once, the male has not been able to get it up. Okay. The one time it worked, it was a male we had played with twice before, and this time his wife was with us. Twice the male handled it very poorly and was awkward because I was able to perform with the wife. It is really messing with my wife's head and she is considering not being in the lifestyle anymore. She is super hot.
I was going to say that she's probably very good looking because for some odd reason, guys, when they have a very good looking woman, they can't get it up in this swinging lifestyle and I'm like what I go you could put a pussy in my face I'm going to get hard well not everybody is as responsive as you no I'm like I'm just shocked because listen okay who's a really good-looking? Like, Sidney Sweeney. You know Sidney Sweeney, right? Probably. Okay. Angelina Jolie. Okay, sure. All right, you know her. Yeah. She's naked on my bed.
My fucking dick is hard as a rock, and the whole goddamn world can be. We could be doing a webcast. I'm fucking hard as a rock because that's a beautiful woman. I don't understand how that's intimidating. Now, it might be intimidating because I'm only going to last 13 seconds with her and I'm going to look stupid. But I'm still going to give her the best 13 seconds of her life. I would say it's probably just nerves.
I might consider, if you're vetting someone or a couple, ask if they've had a threesome or swung before because that can make a difference yes it can and and if you're already taking the time to go through the vetting process if you're not already doing this i would encourage you to foster an opportunity where the other male i'm'm just going to assume another male, an outside male, has a chance to talk, chat, text, date, whatever, your wife or girlfriend. I can't remember. I'm sorry. So that way, that probably eases some tension.
Like it gives them both a chance to get to know each other, see what their wants, dislikes are, their hard no's, you know, go through that kind of checklist, get a vibe check. And that way, that probably eases some tension. That's because that's something that I would always do, too, is, you know, you got to have a connection. Otherwise, it's just not going to work. Right. So let's complete.
let's see if he says any of this because i think he does mention some things i think that plays she she's super hot and sexual so he thinks that plays a major part in it alcohol was an issue only one of the times i tell guys to never drink have one or two drinks but never get drunk and but they still get drunk i have run out of excuses for these guys we are We are at a loss for what to do. We really want to explore the lifestyle more, but if this happens each time, what's the damn point? What have people done in the past? Do I ask the male every time before we play?
If they struggle ahead of time, do I offer boner pills? Is there anything she can do? I think what else they need to do is talk to other couples. Talk to other couples who have been with other males and say, hey, can you give me a good reference for men that can? That's a great idea. Can perform. I would not outright ask other potential sexual partners if you have a problem getting it up in the bedroom.
Yeah, because I'm going i would lie guys are gonna lie maybe i guess that's true oh so you guys oh yeah i have a lot of trouble getting hard well no i guess nobody thinks they have the problem until suddenly they do fucking guys know they have i don't know i think guys know i think they're just gonna lie about it and hopefully it doesn't pop up at the time pills they could take pills i don't know if you are i wouldn't offer them boner pills no you could get in some messy trouble doing that i wouldn't offer them and she what she can do dude there's nothing she could do she's hot she's hot so what that's the guy's problem it is but i as a woman if i see that a guy is trying you know struggling to get it up i might just be gentle you know and put some attention on him trying to reassure him sexually maybe a little emotionally you know make out with something.
What about different rooms sex? Like if they're at the couple, well, those two go off, the wife and the other husband go off, and those two go off to another room, separate rooms, where it's just one-on-one.
You think that could work, or would that be, I wonder if that would be part of their okay, because I know some couples not okay with that that's true because i wouldn't be okay with it well you know it just depends on the woman it probably depends because you i trust because i think you because the way of all i know about you and everything your attitude i think i could trust you to go off by yourself and be with someone and not get me in trouble for it well fuck yeah well you know dude there are people out there that are married 40 50 years they can't trust each other i know it's it's fucked up but it is the way it is it's life so i'm just saying you know i don't want to be pissing fire after a weekend at the club.
No, nobody wants that. Yeah. So I think I could trust you to fucking make a dude put on a rubber or a condom on. So, fuck. I don't, like I said, alcohol. But I would just ask other couples, hey, you got a guy or another couple that you played with that's really good? And if she's really super hot and super sexual, they probably won't have any problem. I would travel more. I would try to tell them wherever they're at, go to a club. Go to a resort. You got Hedoism in Jamaica. If you want to go out of the country, you got Desires and Temptations in Cancun, Mexico. You can go there.
if you don't want to leave the country you got places in Florida rooftop in Miami or Hollywood Florida you got secrets in Orlando you got Caliente Paradise Lakes and Land O'Lakes Florida have you been to any of these places all these places oh wow I haven't been to I haven't been outside the country in Jamaica or Mexico I want to go I ask people to go with me but then they just ghost me for a while but I don't been outside the country in Jamaica or Mexico. I want to go. I ask people to go with me, but then they just ghost me for a while. But I don't know who those fucking cunts are. Anyways.
Anyways, let's see. If you go to Europe, you ain't going to have a problem finding a hard dick in Europe. No, probably not. Holy shit. I have never. I want to take you to Europe.
europe i would love to go to europe i want to take you to a swingers club there you're going to see shit you only seen in porns i hear germany is great for that it might gross you the fuck out because i cannot i'm very tolerant of sex i could watch probably watch two guys fuck and i won't get sick like some guys would oh let's discuss i'll be like oh whatever the shit i saw when i was in europe i you know you ever when you had that reflex and your puke comes up and you saw i actually did that i was like because i saw bukkake a hundred guys and these two girls these girls look like when it was all said and done they look like a fucking glazed donut their whole faces their eyes, the makeup was running but they love that shit I'm happy they're happy I know, I'm like damn that's not for me, I don't want it on the face the people I love the people because I could talk to anybody and not be treated like I'm a piece of shit because i'm a single male even though they weren't into it they would still talk to you have a they would fucking ask me a million questions because i'm i'm the oddball i'm the american there so they all want to practice their english and shit and so they want to talk to you and that gets you laid a lot so if american guys listen guys you want to get laid go to european swinger clubs and go to germany's the best france is another one but you gotta deal with french people and they're assholes sorry that was not my experience personally oh my god i swear to god you i try to ask some personal questions about the telephones how do you dial out she's like do i look like the phone company to you oh dear me okay bitch whatever see you later oh i'm so sorry man Damn, man, it's just, but anyways.
Netherlands, you know, you got Amsterdam. They're straightforward people. I like that. They're straightforward. England, I want to do dogging. You know what dogging is? Oh, I feel like I've heard of this, but I can't remember. It's where you go to like a park and you fuck out in the middle of a park. You park car park, stuff like that. And they call that dog. And I'm like, and I talked to a couple, I interviewed a couple from England and they told me that's very big there. Because I thought like, you know, you see it on the internet. Can you trust anything on the internet? Not a lot.
So I was like, I just wonder if that's porn. They were like, no, people actually do that.
And I go, you can go you can go they'd like ac you can go to places and you can go park your car and you can walk up to a couple in that car and get your dick sucked fucker and all i'm like no shit i go that's i go i gotta come i gotta be at these places i wonder how that came about did somebody just realize you know what the club is too far i don't have a community or just fuck it let's let's do this crazy thing it's crazy the thing how things got started how they swing well i guess human nature came in like i just want to fuck everything yeah it could be i think that's why swinging started but yeah with the dogging the wakaki the gangbang stuff like that you that all started.
I think, yeah, maybe that's it. They didn't have a place to fuck, so let's do it in the car. Let's do it in the car. Yeah. All right, so the soft units. Let's go back to the soft units. I don't know. It's hard.
I hope you don't quit the lifestyle because of it but my recommendation i would say get recommendations from other couples and travel go to one of these places because you're going to find now when you go to one of these places you got a hundred dicks there ready to go and they're hard and they're swingers it's not like you're not going to go to the temptations desires if you're not a swinger you're not going to any of these places if you're not a swinger so you got some experience and they probably need some people that are experienced.
Maybe they were going out with newbies to guy calling you about dick, pussy. No. Sorry. You should be. You're going to get laid later on by the guy. So don't worry about it. I'm looking to make sure it's not something important. Thank you very much. Oh, sure. I am. Let's see something important. Thank you very much. Oh, sure. I am. Let's see. What else? Let's see. What else can we do? Couples and single women who enjoy gang bangs. Couples and singles who enjoy gang bangs. Mm-hmm. What about them? I don't know. Suck dick, eat pussy.
You want to talk about that i mean okay are these questions you know actually yeah uh here's one you can answer this because you're single i am yeah so this woman wants to know how is she going to get in the swing and it's a single female oh easily darling honey you got to remember dess, not a lot of people have the common sense that you and I have. It's not a matter of common sense. I think it might be a matter of confidence. I don't know Google is not going to tell you everything. I don't know about that anymore. But okay, let's see what she writes. Okay. I'm a high all.
I'm aware that single ladies are very much obligated to join swinger swinger parties. Okay, just keep going. But I have no idea how to navigate the community. My main concern is that I feel a bit too immature. She's 22. Okay. But I've read a lot about couples. I read that a lot of couples try to avoid college age because of immaturity.
And I'm not exactly sure if this is a widely shared thing in sex clubs and admittedly i am wet behind the ears but i am charitable being casual with a couple sounds safer sexier than being with a random man alone hope that doesn't offend anyone it does does it yeah it's just how i And beyond that, how do I stay safe as a woman? How do I go about meeting and interacting with couples? Simple answers, please. Alright, go ahead. Simple answers. Go ahead. Before I go on this bitch. Okay. I'm going on a rant. Be easy. Oh, I'm going on a rant. Firstly, everybody has to start somewhere. I know.
Just go. You were once 22? But I'm a guy. It's different. I was once 22. You were? I thought you were always. I'm always 23. Yeah. I thought, yeah, I thought you were 23. So get out of here, old lady. Yeah. You're too young. Okay. So, one, I don't think that there's an obligation for there to be single I don't think that there's an obligation for there to be single women at parties. I think she might have misspelled it. I think she's just saying that single women are loved more at these parties. Okay. Okay. I would maybe believe that. Yeah.
I think that's what she tried to meant, but I think she just put it in the wrong text. Okay. Okay. Context. All right. So I just wanted to course correct that for a second. What else can I say? Whether or not you feel more comfortable with single men or couples that's totally up to you nobody's gonna ac's rolling his eyes yes i am come on keep going i would say that own own your confidence number one um know that you are a commodity with couples okay men right amen yep And that you own all the power.
Ultimately, you get to choose who you're partnered with, whether it's casually or long term or whatever the situation is that you want, whether that's with a boyfriend, a girlfriend or a couple. So. So you have to be confident in whatever thing you're're gonna do first right um i would say start start somewhere um that's not helpful really but if you're looking for couples just start with couples all right let them know that you don't have a lot of experience but you are are interested. Maintain that line of communication. You mean being open and honest? I mean, yes. What a concept. Wow.
That's new. Wow. All great. Okay. What's your take? All right. She's 22. She's not going to have a problem finding. Because there's our other 20-year-olds. There are other 20-year-olds couples out there that will play with her. Now, say, like, if you're 50 years old. Now, I had it where when I first started swinging at 21, I had couples say, we're not playing with you because I have my son's your age, my daughter's your age, and stuff like that. Fine. Fine.
But as the world has changed and everything, I'm seeing those same couples that were 50 play with 21 year olds now because it's the cougar thing it's the type fantasy it's it's what's cool in porn may december yeah so now that's the big thing so i don't think she's gonna have any problem anybody caring that she's 22 uh she admits that she's immature and all that but i don't think couples avoid college age people as long as you're over 21 and you can get into a club you're free range on everybody yeah gotta be over 21 at least for me personally so she's i think she's good i think this says clubs are gonna be fine i think she'll be fine there now she says how do i stay safe as a woman we have to remember people there are even in the swinging lifestyle there are some devils out there and then when i say devils i mean horrible people i mean you're gonna get horrible people just about anywhere you can find them anywhere i know that's what i'm saying i'm saying just because like the like, the swinging lifestyle says, oh, we're all great people.
The people are so nice and friendly. There are some rapists and murderers out there that have been swingers. There's been cases where, you know, they end up doing stuff. There was a, when I was in New York, I was living in Buffalo, there was a case of a couple. They would murder women. A couple would. And they would go to swing clubs and find these girls and they would kill them. Okay. That makes me feel so safe now. You'll be fine. You're all right. Thank you so much. they would murder women, a couple would. And they would go to swing clubs and find these girls, and they would kill them.
Okay, that makes me feel so safe now. You'll be fine. They're in prison. They're in Canada. But I remember that because I was like, damn, man, that's pretty fucked up. So how does she stay safe? I think what she really, I would do as a woman, find one guy that I can, that has my back, who has the best interest in my satisfaction. Do that. Because I get calls from women saying, hey, you know, can you take me to a club? I want to go out and do this and do that. And I go, okay, I'll take you. I'll make sure you're all set. Because I'm not looking to get my dick wet.
I'm looking for her to have a great time. That's nice. Yeah.
Like, when me and you go out, whatever you want, you're going to get my dick wet i'm looking for her to have a great time that's nice yeah like what do you like when me and you go out whatever you want you're gonna get if that's how it is i now i'm gonna say i have changed when i was younger i would be like fuck you you're gonna get me more pussy but now because i'm older and i'm more relaxed in my thing i found out If I help you get what you want you're in return in one way or another at one point in time you're going to return the favor to me totally but see a lot of guys can't think like that long term i'm thinking the long term game when i'm with couples or single girls like when i took the girl to vegas she wanted she wanted to get gang banged she wanted to get train ran on her so she asked me to go and i was like all right no problem so the first night we get there we go to the club she gets trained by five guys i'm there make sure everyone has a condom on everyone's good nothing's going on they're all respecting her she comes back later she gives me two girls that's amazing so and i didn't ask for it i didn't even give a shit about back later.
She gives me two girls. That's amazing. And I didn't ask for it. I didn't even give a shit about it. I don't really care about two girls. My whole thing, I would love to go to a club with you and just watch you fuck other people. Lucky me. I know. I tell people, I go, I don't even give a shit about me. Because what about you? I go, I don't know. I'm getting joy. I'm going to be fucking jacking off while you're getting fucked and watching you and having a good time. That's a win-win for me. So that's what I say she needs. She needs to find a guy like that that cares about her.
Now, the problem is, a lot of young men can't. They can't control themselves. I couldn't control myself when I was younger. Right. So in lieu of that, I would say, you know, up your vetting game. Yes. You know. Find an older guy, 30-year-old guy. He doesn't have to be 50. He'd be 30 years old. Find a guy that will take care of you. Make sure you're protected and all that. Yeah. I mean, you got to have your boundaries. Go on cuckholding websites, find personals and find a cuckold with that would love to take you to these places and just watch you fuck and do your thing. That's an option.
And there are some young guys I have seen some young ads because I do. I go on cuckolding. I check it out because I got to do stuff on cuckolding. There are some young guys that are into the whole cuckolding, vet life and all that. Oh, sure. So she should probably maybe do that for her safety. Now, be safe. Make sure if she don't want to do that, vet the couples. Make sure meet them only at clubs. Don't meet them at their houses. Don't meet them at a hotel room. Go to a sex club and do it there.
I would take it even a step further and say go on a date go have you know go meet them go public go during daylight or in the evening don't you know be smart about who you're gonna meet of course so yeah they can do that but don't go to hotel rooms with them and don't go to their houses yeah don't do that if that. If you hit it off at the public meeting, just say, hey, let's go to, hey, tomorrow's the club. The club's open tomorrow. Let's meet there. Right. But sometimes I feel like the blood rushes to the clit and cock too much and people forget all this shit. I think sometimes. Yeah.
Because even I still do stupid shit. You do? Sometimes. The dear Abby, the Duchess of Dick does stupid shit. I am not a perfect human. What stupid shit have you done? Oh, I've had guys over to the house. Yeah. And then, like, just thinking about this one time. Side story. I'm trying to think. How can I summarize this? Long story short, it did not work out. It was a big flop.
a big flop yeah and i'm like great now this guy knows where i live well i well see i know where a lot of people live but i don't bother even chasing it right now has it been a problem for me no do i have a security system at home yes i do you got a gun i do not i do not have a firearm you need to get one i don't want one in my house oh god it's just get a little baby one you know you know something that's just gonna put a hole in them not kill them but just stop them i know well we can have a whole conversation about that later all right anyways so that's that's all we're gonna do now because got to do my thing, because I want your advice on this.
Okay, what's up? All right, so as I explore the world of swinging in my life, I'm on Tinder. I'm Tinder. I put on there that I'm a swinger. You saw my Bumble. Same thing. Copy and paste. Uh, so I got a, uh, notification from a girl that she's in an ENM, Ethical Non-Monogamy, and she sits up, she wants to hang out. She wanted to meet that day, so I accommodated her because that's what AC does, accommodates people. Okay. And I met, she's married, so that's great. Now, I asked her, does your husband know that you're here? She's like, oh, yeah, he's telling me all the story. He's a cook.
She don't fuck him. She fucks other men. And she's looking for a steady friends with benefits. She told me, I saw, you know, I'm getting to know her. her I asked her before we meet I'm asking her all these questions like what do you do for a living stuff like that she says she's an administrative assistant and all that so great you know so we decide can we meet soon I go yeah when you want to meet she's like tomorrow I go well I got the Texans football game they've got to go to I can't go uh I can meet I could if you want to do it Tonight, I can meet tonight at dinner.
Say, oh, well, I got the Texans football game I've got to go to. I can't go. I can meet. If you want to do it tonight, I can meet tonight. We'll have dinner. I say, oh, okay, yeah, I'll meet. So I meet her up there at 7 o'clock, 6 o'clock actually. We meet at the restaurant. We're talking for two, three hours. Okay. All right. We talk about it. She told me she was in the same field.
She's's not an administrative assistant she's in the same she's in the same career field type she has the same education as i do okay so oh okay so now we got something in common that's real good because now we can talk about shit and that's what we did we did a lot we talked about our stupid ass fucking careers and all that and so and i thought we're hitting it off we're talking about stuff she's like is it okay if you know if my husband wants to can he watch us fuck i go yeah i don't give a shit sure more to marry you gotta bring invite the whole goddamn workplace with you i don't care i'm gonna be able to perform i don't care uh you know what am i into what am i looking looking for?
I go, well, right now, because no one's around. I want someone I can see a couple times a week, once a week at least, a couple times even better. And all that. She said, oh, that's great, because, you know, that's why I'm the same thing. I'm looking for all that same stuff. So we decide to go. She goes, oh, it got, it was getting late, 9 o'clock. I was like, oh, I got to get home to my kid.
And she's got her husband and her kids to go back home to okay so i kiss her goodbye not a open mouth kiss just a peck on the lips and that's it so i text her my phone number and i go okay so it we hit it off i go for sure she's into it yeah i would think i was thinking that too so i didn't get any response back immediately so i waited you know i was sitting around waiting for that text finally to text me and say hey it's me you know we can start texting here because i don't want to text on tinder anymore i'll try to have you have my phone number we get going and we start doing this uh thing yeah the friends with benefits and next day no text so i text her on tinder and said hey so what's going on is there anything going on how are you doing she's like so she sends me a text hey i'm doing this yada and all that and i think i said so what so are we going to get together again she's like i don't think so oh yeah i don't think so so i asked why so what's going on was it my height was it something i said she's like no i don't think so.
Oh. Yeah, I don't think so. So I asked, why? So what's going on? Was it my height? Was it something I said? She's like, no, I don't feel we have a connection. I'm like, huh? And after that, I didn't say anything. I go, okay, I'm sorry about that. Take care. That's all I said. That's all you can do sometimes. I can tell you exactly what the fuck I said. Because I still have it. Because this is the weird thing. Usually when you don't have that, you're not going to pursue anything. You unmatch with the person, right? Yeah, usually. She didn't. That's weird. She's still on my thing.
She's still unmatched. Okay, let me see. How long has she been doing this? It was just this past weekend. No, I mean mean how long has she lived in the lifestyle oh fucking pretty much her whole thing oh i'm not scared so i said so i gave her my number i said thank you today you're beautiful that was saturday sunday morning i said how are you she finally responded like hours later i'm doing okay I'm a bit of a pain after running nine miles this morning. So she's a marathon runner, too. She does all this shit. All right, good for her. So I said, wow, good for you. When can we meet and play?
And she says, I don't see us moving forward. I said, oh, why? I don't feel a connection. All right, so that's fine. No problem, no harm.
Okay, I said, okay, sorry for sorry for that if you change your mind i'll be here ready i hope your students are acting right this week because she's doing all her things so her yoga her yoga shit her health class i hope they're doing good uh and she starts talking to me again and she's been talking to me every day she texts me every day that's so weird that's why i'm confused i go is she just a fucking nutcase or is she leaving the door open for us potential because i would unmatch if i was like no way because i am i like when i meet someone and it's like a no, I don't match with them.
Yeah, I would. But I don't know what she's doing. I'm confused. I would probably just straight up ask like. Straight up ask her, say, hey, why are we still talking to me? Like, hey, our conversation is great. The flow is great. But you say you're, you know, you don't see anything moving forward.
So why still why talk to me yeah why talk to me at all yeah i don't understand that i like i don't like i said i don't understand it because i would not lead someone on that sucks yeah yeah that's weird i go i don't see it have a good life goodbye and i want to match yeah i would too but she's still there because i thought i was for sure when she said that, I go, oh, she's going to click off my profile. It ain't going to be there anymore. She'll do a match with me. She hasn't. So I don't know. That's weird. Yeah, that's what I said. I don't understand. I would just walk away.
But we do have good conversations about shit. About everything. Like me and you do. That's true. We do. Yeah. So I'm not going to walk away from you. But I also wouldn't blame you if you did. Anyways. But, you know, I don't understand it. Like I said, it's confusing.
I just want to make sure I'm not nuts or anything like that no you're not nuts that's weird yeah so i don't know but it is what it is so hopefully and she i she's very nice very beautiful woman that's great you could be unhinged oh she's probably not unhinged that's a little strong well i know i just i don't i think there's something she's not telling me i think she's lying about something oh maybe maybe i don't know maybe her husband doesn't know i mean that's always a possibility but she says she don't fuck him i go oh that's kind of like like tough for him well they kids, so obviously that's a little untrue.
Yeah. But she says, oh, no, she says she doesn't fuck him now anymore. I don't know. Because she says he's a cuck. Like, full on all the time? Full on all the time. She says she has a running partner that she goes to these, he lives out in Colorado, and they go to running places. They do stuff together, and they fuck when they're together. Okay. And the husband's with them and all that, so I don't know. Like I said, the vibe was there. Everything was great. There was, like, no quiet silence. Oh, that's awesome.
It was just constantly talking, but all right, fuck it but and all that so you know she does yoga she does teaches yoga so hell well she might be flexible we'll see i don't know if i'll see because i guess i'm not it but anyways that's enough we gotta get you food to get you food. I got to eat. You got to eat. All right. But that's it. Go to swingandsingalepodcast.com. Check this podcast out. See if Dutch is a dick. Did her dear Abby today. She did her good deed. Check it out. Swingandsingalepodcast.gmail.com.
Complain about her or say what a great, person she is you can do both you can do both and that's it keep shave your cock and balls gentlemen and we'll see you later oh also keep on swinging I want to be the angel when it's over, you'll get lucky like the 40th floor, baby I'm a holly to your joker, I want to be there forever my shoulder, I want to be the angel when it's over, you'll get lucky like the 40th floor, baby I'm a holly to your joker, I want to be there forever my shoulder, I want to be there forever my shoulder, I want to be the angel when it's over, you'll get lucky like the 40th floor, baby I'm a holly to your joker, I want to be there forever my shoulder, I want to be there forever on your shoulder I want to be the angel when it's over You'll get lucky like a four-leaf clover Baby, I'm a holly to your joker
