Welcome to the latest episode of the Swinging Single Podcast, where your host AC Maxwell delves into the intriguing world of alternative relationships. Today, AC explores the topic of when it's time for couples and singles to leave the lifestyle.AC begins by setting the stage and sharing his own journey into the swinging community. He highlights the pros and cons of exploring non-monogamous relationships and explains how it can enhance intimacy and broaden one's perspective on love. However, he also acknowledges the challenges that may arise and the need for boundaries.Moving on to the topic of when to leave the lifestyle, AC delves into the factors that can signal the need for an exit. He emphasizes the importance of open communication, emotional honesty, and respect for all parties involved. AC encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences, listen to their partners, and make informed decisions about their future together.Throughout the episode, AC provides valuable insights into the intricacies of the swinging lifestyle, including the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining respect, and recognizing when it's time to call it quits. He shares real-life examples and anecdotes to illustrate the challenges and complexities of navigating alternative relationships.Whether you're a couple considering joining the swinging community or a single individual curious about alternative relationships, this episode offers invaluable guidance and advice. AC's candid and thought-provoking discussions will leave you with a deeper understanding of the complexities and beauty of alternative relationships.Remember to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast. Connect with AC through his website and social media for exclusive content and updates. Stay tuned for the next episode of the Swinging Single Podcast, where AC will continue to delve into the fascinating world of non-monogamy.
Transcript
Welcome to the Swingin' Single Podcast, a platform for sharing the unique perspectives of A.C. Maxwell. As your host, I will take you on a personal journey through the ups and downs of my years as a Swingin' Single male. Please note that while my experiences will undoubtedly provide valuable insights, it is essential to understand that my views may not be aligned with yours.
With take it away emma watson the swinging single podcast with host ac maxwell is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only the opinions views and content expressed or shared on the podcast are solely those of the host AC Maxwell and any featured guests or contributors and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates sponsors advertisers or partners the information presented on the podcast is not professional advice and should not be treated as such listeners are advised not to rely on the content of the podcast as an alternative to advice from appropriately qualified professionals I don't know.
and should not be treated as such. Listeners are advised not to rely on the content of the podcast as an alternative to advice from appropriately qualified professionals. If specific expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Listening to the podcast does not create any kind of professional relationship between the listener and AC Maxwell or any guest appearing on the podcast. Any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract engagement or formal advice.
The host, contributors, affiliates, sponsors, advertisers and partners of the podcast shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages resulting from the use of or inability to use the information in the podcast or from any decisions made based on such information. The content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws.
Unauthorised use of the podcast content, including but not limited to reproduction, broadcast or alter alteration may violate these laws and could result in legal action by continuing to listen to the podcast you agree to be bound by the then current version of this disclaimer any questions or concerns regarding this disclaimer please contact us at swinging single agmail going to talk about all kinds of stuff here, If you just join us, but we're going to talk about things today about when is enough enough when are we going to decide to stop swinging is it a time to stop swinging when both of you are getting tired of it you got burnout whatever but on today's podcast that's what we're going to talk about deciding when to quit and hang your swinging condoms up all right so i'm trying to do this bunch of stuff here i'm trying to do live i got live right now uh all my twitch let's see instagram and twitter i'm on all those so you can get me up at twitter at swinging single m on there or instagram is at this swinging single podcast 1976 and twitch is swinging single podcast all that so that's where you can find me on here and hopefully this works out this is my very first time i'm fucking it up a lot so you know it's kind of sucks but it's going to be all right i'll learn i'll learn guys and all that so don't worry about it ac's got a handle it's going to take time just like all my other podcasts so today we're going to talk about deciding to hang up the swinging shoes when should i hang up my forever and ever and ever to stop swinging and that's something that we're going to talk about today because i feel like it has to be done because a lot of people don't talk about this when should we quit when should we go not go on anymore so deciding whether to stop or take a break from swinging is significant and often challenging decision for many couples it like i said i have been in this lifestyle so long i've seen them come i've seen them go and you notice one thing i'm going to tell you that when we get to that section but there's always one thing there's one key element i could tell where a couple is going to make it or a couple is not going to make it at all it's a decision that touches on aspects of their relationship personal desires and life circumstances and like i said it is one of those things where you know a lot of things can happen and things are going to change and life changes how you are at 30 you're not the same person as you are 30 when you're 40 you're 50 and 60 and all that you know just like me ac i have changed over the years from being a single swing swing a male and all that i have my change my fantasies have changed all kinds of stuff because i'm a different person when i started when i was 21 so we're going to talk a little bit about uh m&m i'm going to call him m&m which highlights the essential truth of what i saw from this couple about oh damn this couple was about 10 years ago.
You know how life evolves and with it, your needs, priorities, circumstances, changes. So recognizing and addressing these shifts is crucial to ensuring both partners remain aligned and fulfilled. That's where the communication comes in people. If you are bad at communicating with your partner, your wants and needs, ladies, if you're bad at that, it's probably a better idea of maybe not swinging in the first place. But let's just pretend that you're swinging, you're having a great time, and everyone's watching you, and you're loving it.
So some of the signs it may be time to reevaluate swinging. And here are some. I put a list. I put a a five list i always try to keep it at five because usually people don't listen after a couple anyways so one reason why you may reevaluate swinging one is a change in life circumstances just like m&m significant life events such as starting a family a new job or moving to a different area can necessitate a re-evaluation of priorities and a valuable time for lifestyle activities. Alright, so what about, let's think about this.
If you're brand new, you're in your mid-20s, maybe early 30s, you got no kids, you and your wife are open to possibility of exploring the lifestyle of having threesomes, foursomes, that stuff and going to clubs you get there you start playing around you having your couple years you're under your belt and bada boom bada bing along comes kids those kids are going to have to take priority over your swinging lifestyle all right it's not one of those things we're okay we got kids we're still going to be doing it every weekend no that's probably not what's going to happen all right you're going to change because you're going to have to be there for your children all right so children change life circumstances and all that health issues you know older we get the more health problems we have and all that so you know we have to worry about our health and taking care of our health.
We sick people you know get the big c you know i have seen a lot of people pass away from cancer in this lifestyle heart attack stuff like that things change where people you know they have that what do you call it a near-death experience and they're like well fuck you know i can't do this anymore i change my life. And maybe swinging is part of that change in my life. Let's see. What else? Anything about life, more life circumstances that are changing? No, I don't know. I don't think so. Let's see. All right. Emotional discomfort. Number two, emotional discomfort.
If one or both partners start feeling feeling uncomfortable jealous or insecure about their participation it's essential to discuss these feelings openly and honestly like the communication is going to come in you might be uncomfortable with who you're playing with how you're playing and how much you're playing you see couples that i know have been playing you know the same amount of time but they're at the club every weekend i know there's couples there's a couple in colettes that they're always there every day but i don't see them fuck anyone so i don't really see them burning out of it but does it make your partner uncomfortable that we go to the you go to the club every time or whatnot and all that stuff or you know one of those things where you just gotta you know suck it in and you'll go okay no problem uh what else let's see jealous jealousy wears his ugly head every every at a club.
The jealousy is going to get there. A couple will be jealous once in a while. It's going to happen, guys. So, you know, you just got to be able to hold on those to those emotions or jealousy emotions. Remember, she's married to you. He's married to you. He's going to go home with you. She's going to go home with you. So there's really no reason to be jealous.
right or being insecure all right some no women have body images where okay well that girl's got some great pair of a pair of tits that girl has a great ass i got nothing i got droopy tits it's droopy ass and all that stuff i don't feel comfortable i don't want to participate anymore and all that because i don't feel secure with my body and all that same thing with men men will have the same issues and all that so it's one of those things where you just got to think about what level of participation you want to be in number three and number three sign that might be time to reevaluate your swinging ideal, less satisfaction when swinging no longer brings the joy or connection it once did.
It may indicate that it needs to needs and desires have shifted. This is something that happens a lot. If you are an experienced swinger, you have a lot of ears under your belt. You are going to change your desires. Sometimes it happens. It's just like as a human being, we all desire things and those change as we age because our priorities change and our feelings change. Our hormones change. When I first started, it was all about just fucking as many women I could having sex with as many women I could at a night.
Then, you know, you get partners, you get girlfriends that are into into it you have girlfriends that want to do it then you kind of change where okay she's into me i'm into her she likes you know extra guy an extra girl and i saw her do it and it was great it was fun and these feelings changed on me you know you you excited you're get excited about watching your partner with another man or another woman then it comes full board where now it's just me and the girl my partner or partners and we find guys and women for her to play with as i watch and i join in later on so that is something that changes does it bring me joy yes does it is there a connection I don't have a connection with the people we play with.
I try to stay away from that connection because when you're with your partner, that's me, my partner. It's no one else. No one else matters. No other woman matters. But that partner is my main number one girl. What do the pimps call it? The bottom bitch?
So she she's my bottom bitch anyways so this could change with couples because they can decide there's no joy in it maybe maybe they see the same people over and over and they just get born they want us to meet new people i have a friends that are swingers and they say the same thing about that they talk about how they hate the club because when they go there it's the same exact people day every weekend and it's like there's no really no new people she wants to meet new people I don't think he really cares he just wants her to be happy but she really likes new meeting new people so I made a suggestion that they should just swing when they travel go to another state go somewhere go to you know dallas we're in houston you know we're coming live to you from the upside down pineapple studios if you want to get at me at swinging single podcast at gmail.com send me an email but when you're swinging she has no she doesn't find joy in going to the clubs here in houston because it's the same people.
So I always recommend just go to another city. Go to Dallas. Go to San Antonio. Go to Austin. Even go because they travel for work. Go to those places when you go and you'll see new people. It might help you get that connection back, that excitement back.
But I can feel where I see a lot of couples where it doesn't bring any more joy or anything like that for them number four the fourth sign you might need to reevaluate swinging the impact on relationships dynamics is swinging activities begin to negatively impact relationships foundational elements like trust communication and your intimacy it may be time to reassess now this i have to had to do this once and once with a girlfriend i had a long-term girlfriend we were doing it she really found i really opened up a pandora box with this girl and me and her we're going at it every weekend friday saturday night i would get off work we would go to the club we would travel all over you know the country where we go to these clubs and everything these swingers clubs so we're there and but a lot of times what will happen is while i was out i'd gone at work or something she was bringing dudes into the house and having sex with them and playing around because she really i think what she was she was really a nympho and she just needed so much and so often that i wasn't able to you know make her happy but there was no trust in there anymore the communication was still there but i didn't trust her the intimacy you know was still there because we were banging all all day and all night when we could now for couples this could be where intimacy can affect your sex life are you fucking are you having sex i'm sorry can't try try not to cuss so much are we having sex only at the swinger club or when we go out to the swinger club because if you are that might be a sign that intimacy is not there as it was now if you're having sex monday through friday or monday through sunday every night then that's great because you're not going to the club every night but if you only time you ever have sex is when you go to the swingers club, you know, you get all juiced up Friday night, me and my wife are going to go, boom, boom, you bang a couple of times before you go, you go to the club, bang some more.
If that's the case, then that might be time to reevaluate swinging. Now, it doesn't mean to stop. It just means to reevaluate. Is it really going to to trust do you trust your partner that they're not going off sleeping around uh behind your back because that does happen couples do sometimes you know stray on each other in this lifestyle if the foundation ain't there and the communication ain't there all right the fifth one sign the fifth sign that it's time to reevaluate. And the fifth and final one would be the desire for monogamy.
Sometimes individuals or couples realize they prefer monogamy, valuing exclusivity in their sexual and emotional connections. Now, I will see a lot of women where they'll say, well, I need a connection.
Those are going to be the type of women i could feel and gentlemen i'm going to put gentlemen in this because you know sometimes gentlemen do it where they need a connection that's where monogamy will probably rear its ugly head if you want if we're talking about swinging where they would want to stop swinging because they'll find that connection especially if they're a single guy or a single girl and they'll say well i really like this guy i really like this gal and i want to just be with Thank you. They'll find that connection, especially if they're a single guy or a single girl.
And they'll say, well, I really like this guy. I really like this gal. And I want to just be with her and no one else. Or I want to be with him and no one else. So that can happen. So swinging can be just a, for a single person, it could just be a means to an end because it's like a pit stop. It's like that shitty job you have. You really want this job. So you're going to work this crappy job until you get that good job that you always wanted. All right. So those are my five signs that it may be time to reevaluate swinging. As a couple, you have to figure this out. I can't help it. All right.
Because I can't help it. I can't help you because this, I don't know your relationship. I don't know your dynamics and all that. So just take some advice. Think about it. If you are thinking about quitting swinging and it's one of the, I'm going to tell you, it's going to be a hard decision, especially when one couple, one part of the couple wants to keep going and the other one doesn't. That's where we run into trouble. So maybe I can help you out. Maybe we, I can help you out.
out all right so steps to take when considering quitting or pausing now you can pause which i am doing i'm currently pausing from the clubs and all the parties here in houston for a couple months because like i said it's always the same people in the same story so i figure after summer when you know it starts calming down during the school when the kids go back to school everything gets back to normal so i'm figuring maybe i'll go back then and see if there's any new people any new things that are happening and all that but doesn't mean i'm going to stop swinging i'll you know i'll meet couples offline and do do that but as far as a club i'm trying to you know stay away and let you know it reset I go out of town, that's when I'm going to go to clubs.
I always go to clubs when I'm out of town because, you know, those are new people. You meet new people and you can have some fun. So, steps to take when considering quitting or pausing. Discuss openly and honestly. Open communication is paramount.
Partners should share their feelings, concerns, and desires without fair of judgment you got your girl into it you cannot be mad up at her she wants to get game banged by 20 guys in one city you can't be mad at her if she wants to pause for a while you brung her into this lifestyle now you have to suffer the consequences you made your bed now lying it same thing with the ladies gentlemen you brung your husband into it he was he was fine watching you bang bang your way through you know whatever city whatever clubs you go to he doesn't like it anymore he just wants to pause he just wants to stop because he just wants to do with you too all right so now you have to like i said you lay you made your bed now lying it So you have to take your partner's feelings and consideration.
Communication, just be open about it. Why do you want to quit? Why do you want to quit or why do you want to pause? All right. And if your partner can't accept that, then maybe, hopefully, you guys can figure it out. Because it will be hurtful if it has to end a divorce, which it does. Now, a lot of podcasts talk about how great the lifestyle is, the relationship success. But they don't talk about the negativity, the negative of being swinging, that you can possibly get divorced. And I've seen people get divorced. I've heard of people getting divorced because I've been doing it so long.
All right. So be open about it. Tell what you want.
don't let anybody what is it kink kink shame you don't swing shame you all right if you want to fuck whoever you want to fuck tell them all right another way is evaluate the reasons understanding why you're considered quitting or pausing can help determine the best path forward if it's temporary life circumstances or has there been a fundamental shift in your relationship or individual needs so a temporary uh you are sick you got to have surgery you got to have hip surgery us old dudes you know we were pounding you girl ladies we got to remember we're on top of you we're going back and forth we're pounding those hips tear deteriorate after a certain mile we got to have hip replacement knee surgery stuff like that you don't want to be swinging when you're have your acl repaired or something you're having surgery your same thing you know your wife has to have a surgery so you just say okay time oh time out we're going to do something else now we're going to wait till you get better excuse me all right so that's me temporary because it shouldn't be forever um i would say pregnancy would be a really big one now i wouldn't call pregnancy temporary even though you are only pregnant for nine months but i want to say temporary because you have couples that are new they have no children they want to have two or three kids so they'll get pregnant then they'll get pregnant again and pregnant again to have their kids that's going to stop them from swinging all right also i would not recommend if you're a couple that's into swinging and you want to have kids i would stop make sure you're not pregnant now and don't play with any other dudes at all because there have been instances where you, sperm has a way of finding an egg and it might not be your hubby's egg because I have seen it before.
I heard stories about it. You could go online and read it about couples getting pregnant by the bull or the single guy they played with. And it just creates a whole mess.
So my advice to to couples if you're looking to have kids definitely pause the lifestyle don't go any clubs don't do any temptations rock it out get her pregnant and once after she's pregnant you go back to resuming your swinging uh ways because i hear her and i i don't know if i ever fucked a pregnant woman at a club but I never i a pregnant woman so i don't know that might be some what would you say that would be a big party favor there you know a pregnant woman a lot of fantasies about guys and women having sex with pregnant women uh and all that so also your individual needs what are your individual needs what do you need fromcuss it with them.
All right. Consider a trial period. Like Eminem, taking a break rather than quitting outright allows couples to see if they feel, how they feel without the lifestyle and reassess their desires and priorities. That's a good one. I like that one because you know what? All right. Let's take a couple months off. Let's take a 90 days off. Let's take three months off. Then they come back and discuss it. They decide, can they live with it or can they just I'll see you next time.
what all right let's take a couple months off let's take uh 90 days off let's take three months off then they come back and discuss it they decide can they live with it or can they just or they can't live with it they gotta have something they gotta have swinging or they don't want it because you know what there might be where they might be better off just as a monogamous couple and there's nothing wrong with that you know we can't sit there and tell people how to live their life guys we have to let them live their lives if they want to be in our lifestyle let them that's fine there's no harm in pausing and not coming back all right seek support talking to friends in the within the lifestyle do not talk to your vanilla friends because they do not understand this relationship they do not understand this lifestyle as much as we think they would but they don't consider a counselor familiar with non-traditional relationships can provide viable available perspectives and guidance they can do a lot of stuff for you talking to a shrink and all that having that could really help there are people that specialize work with swinging couples you can go to these you just gotta google therapist for swinging couples and boom you will have a list now will they be in your town i don't know but this is what's so great about the internet basically every therapist can be online you could do zoom you could You could do Google Meets and stuff like that, all right?
Seek support, all right? So, seeking your support. Prioritize your relationship. The primary focus should always be the health and happiness of your relationship. Decisions about swinging should support and enhance your bond. I always tell guys this. Make sure your wife is having the best time of her life. Because if your wife is having a great time, guess what? You are going to have a great time. And that's just facts. Those are facts. If you don't think so, then I don't know what to tell. I don't know what you're doing.
Because if you're just being selfish, like a lot of people are, sometimes people get selfish. Let's face it. AC, i have been selfish here once or twice in my life so have you listening to this so we gotta think we gotta make sure our partner is having a great time because i'm telling you if they have a great time we're all gonna have a great time and it's just better for the lifestyle there's no drama no fighting in the clubs even though there's gonna be fighting in, we know. So it's crucial to remember that choosing to pause or to stop swinging doesn't signify failure. All right.
Even if it does sell failure, who cares? It's your life. You did it once. You tried it. OK, it wasn't for us. Let's go to our back to our vanilla lifestyle. We like it better there on the vanilla side. All right. There's nothing wrong with that.
Stop criticizing people stop trying podcasters swinging podcasters stop trying to convince everyone swinging is great for them because not everyone should be swinging I told you that 80% of couples should not swing I don't I just don't think think they should be swinging because I don't think they do it for the right reasons relationships evolve the ability to adapt to those changes is a sign of strength and resilience things are going to change like i said health changes family stuff changes people pass away people move to other places remember just think about if you you're here in houston what happens if you get a job in montana there's not a lot of swinging places in montana it's north dakota south dakota anywhere in the midwest there's not a lot.
You have to go to a real big city. So now you're swinging is pretty much cut off. All right. What works at one stage of a relationship may not suit another and acknowledge this is a part of maintaining a healthy, fulfilling partnership. Like I said, I think the hardest thing for couples to do is stop cold turkey. And I want to talk about that. I don't think couples should stop cold turkey. If you're going to decide to pause or you're going to stop completely, my recommendation is to wane off of it.
If you go to the club and there's couples and there's a lot of people that do, if you swing every weekend, swing for the first month, swing three weekends out of that month the second month do it two weekends the third month do it just do it once in the fourth month you're done you're not there because if you cut cold turkey you will have that addiction to it and you're gonna be like a crackhead like oh i gotta have i gotta have it i gotta have it because you don't wane off of it good enough so i think you should slowly stop and not stop cold turkey say I don't wane off of it good enough so i think you should slowly stop and not stop cold turkey say oh we're done unless something really bad in your health is happening or something like that then yeah you might want to do that so my book my couple friends m&m decision to take a break at recess after a year reflects a mature approach that they navigated their evolving relationship dynamics whatever the outcome the process of evaluation conversation and consideration will likely strengthen their connection and it did fostering deeper understanding and respect for each other needs and desires they can always go back maybe you know maybe you don't want to swing now maybe when you you only want to do it when you're off on vacation you're away from family and friends you put an ad on the one of the you know double lists or something of looking for a well-endowed man or a couple of swap with you fucking go on your merry ways you go home back to your family maybe that's what you want to do maybe you don't want to swing in your hometown because you're worried about people finding out, you know, things like that.
You just don't want, you know, it's okay. Those are all case. You're still a swinger. We're still welcoming you. Ultimately, the decision to take a break from swinging is deeply personal and varies significantly from one couple to another. And that goes for singles. I have single women. I know that quit. I have single men that I know have quit because, you know, for whatever reasons, they find a girl they like and they just, you know what, guys, I'm just going to stay with her, see what happens. Same thing with the girls. They get tired of it.
They don't want to bother with all the attention that they're getting. It's real too much. They find a guy they like or they find a girl they like and they go off into the sunset. Respecting each other's feelings, prioritizing the relationships and making decisions based on mutual agreement and support are the cornerstones of navigating the complex but potentially rewarding journey. Even if you stop, you have to take the good that came out of it. Maybe your communication is better. Maybe you're, you know, you're willing to listen to your partner and take her or his feelings into consideration.
Maybe you let out the inner freak in you. Now you don't need swinging. You'll dress up in lingerie and let him fuck you in your ass or, you know, he'll let you peg him in the ass. Who knows? But, you know, it's one of those things where we have a journey, you get rewarded. It's true navigating the complexities of swing and lifestyle requires constant and open communication, mutual respect, and above all, deep sense of understanding and empathy towards one's partner. Understand what your partner is going through. Your partner is allowing another man to stick his penis inside you.
Your wife is letting another woman, your penis enter to another woman or another man who knows i don't know and that takes a very deep deep understanding of human sexuality these people don't know they don't know what's going to happen you don't know you know you hear horror stories where couples break up and they end up with the person they were swinging with and so on and so on when one partner expresses the need to quit or take a break from swinging it is pivotal moment that if handled thoughtfully can lead to growth and deeper intimacy within the relationship here's a road map on how to approach this sensitive decision making process so i So I got some things I came up with.
Communicate openly without judgment. Swinging is a judgmental motherfucker. You know, they say it's not, but it is. You are judged by everything you do and say. Just like on my podcast, I get judged by, I am hated by couples here in Houston because I tell you how it is. I'm not going to hold back.
This podcast is through my eyes not yours not as a couple i'm not a couple i'm a single guy going to the clubs i don't have that vagina with me to get me in the door i have to work my magic i have to talk my way into it but like i said but i just tell the truth guys i'm not interested in you know winning awards and stuff like that i just want to tell the truth share my story I'm not interested in, you know, winning awards and stuff like that. I just want to tell the truth, share my story with people, you know, like it or not. So start the conversation.
Initiate discussions of non-confrontational way. Emphasizing your feelings, needs, concerns without casting blame.
It's important to pick up calm, natural, neutral time when both of you are least likely to be defensive if you're got in the fight don't start talking about swinging never talk about swinging after you're fighting express your feelings clearly use i statements to express how you feel avoid accusations or statements that could make your partner feel defensive for example i feel overwhelmed when we attend swinging events frequently instead you always make us go to these events all right i'm trying to think of when I'm not going to be swinger i'm a swinger 24 7 that means i'll go to a club any night of any night of the week so we always talk about that stuff so i always got it's like i said i got ahead it's a work in progress i had to learn and go as i went all right so you got to express your feelings carefully validate each other's feelings listen actively when your partner is sharing their thoughts or feelings actively listen without interrupting this shows you value their perspective one thing i hate and it doesn't matter where you're at is when they start interrupting and all that they want to talk over you and so on and so on and now see the other's feelings if you don't agree with a partner's viewpoint and validate their feelings understanding doesn't mean agreement but it fosters empathy explore the underlying issues okay identity concerns isn't an issue within the lifestyle itself are there underlying relationship concerns that you need to be addressed sometimes discomfort with swinging can be symptomatic of broader issues like trust communication and intimacy we talked about this about people screwing around don't have the communication but are swinging and all that that could be a problem consider all perspectives explore why one partner wants to continue and why the other wishes to stop hopefully you know in a perfect world i would hope that both of you would want to stop at the same time but let's face it we don't live in a perfect world we live in a world where shit happens and you know we got to just go with it so discuss what each of you value about your relationship and the lifestyle what do you get out of it anything make the decisions together joint decisions making ensure that decisions on whether to continue pause or stop swinging feels mutual both partners should feel their views were considered in the final decision set boundaries if A pause or stop is agreed upon.
Set clear boundaries for what this means for your interaction with the lifestyle and its community. So, excuse me. So, this is going to be an important one because you will see people outside of the lifestyle, outside the clubs. I never, if I see someone I know that's from a club and it's outside, I never approach them. I don't even acknowledge them because I think you just don't know. You don't know people's, you know, life. They could be with their kids. You don't want to have that weird, awkward moment where, why is this man talking to my daddy and mommy and stuff like that?
So what are you going to do when you do as a couple? What do you do when you see another couple that you, you know, saw at the club you're playing with, you're doing all kinds of stuff with. So that's something that has to be talked about because you've got to know what's going on. All right. Plan for the future. Revisit the decision. Set a time to revisit decision.
A month, three months a year circumstances and feelings can change and what feels right now might evolve when you go online you see couples and their profiles they'll say we took a break we're back and stuff like that they did that that's what they did right there they took a they revisited the decision okay we're going to go back to swinging whatever in their life opened up and they said fine we're going to go back into swinging all right seek professional help if you need it if navigating a decision is causing significant strain on the relationship consulting and sex positive therapists like i said just google it can provide a safe space to explore feelings and options what are the options you don't have to swing i had partners where they just love going to the club because they love watching people fuck and they love people watching us fuck so and i knew that so i knew there was no way in world in the world they were going to you know play with anybody so that was fine that was great you know i loved is fine i enjoyed it i enjoyed being the exhibitionist i enjoyed watching and doing all that stuff all right so let's talk about focusing on the relationship now always remember that the primary relationship is between you two or with yourself single women single men if you don't love yourself no one is going to love you if you don yourself, no one is going to like you.
And this is something that affects the lifestyle with single people. There's something within the single people where, you know, there's no middle. There seems to be some middle ground, but a lot of them are in the deep end where they don't like themselves. And they got the other ones that think their shit don't stink. You know, those guys and those gals where they walk in, they think everyone wants them and all that. But you got to remember, you got to prioritize your health and your mental health and all that, your body health overall for single people.
Couples, you got to, you got to remember your relationship is with you. You're not going home with that couple. All right. It's just sex. Love is between you and the hubby. Sex is between you, hubby, and the other hubby, and the other wife. That's just sex. You got to be able to, you know, distinguish between those. Mr. Podcast reduces the same way. He's like, how do you get that connection away from having sex with women? Because he wants to, you know, he wants to be a swinger. He wants to have sex with women, but he catches those feelings and all that. So I'm trying to teach him. I'm trying.
It's a work in progress. Swinging is merely an extension of your relationship. Remember that extension of your relationship. It is not your relationship.
If it's going to be your relationship, are doomed all right not a fundamental pillar of it love love trust communication and friendship you know if you look at the people from india indian indian people from india the country they have this thing called arranged marriages if you look at the statistics arranged marriages last longer than just our marriages where we find someone we go yes we'll marry them because i think what indian people do they learn to love that person they might not like that they might not be in love but they learn to work with that person they form that bond with that person that's what i think a lot more people in america should be open to but i don't think it's ever going to happen because the social media and the stupid reality shows we have and all that that's a selfish we're selfish individuals if you go to india they're not selfish it's all about the family all right make money support your family provide for your family love is secondary to you know, like I said, I admire them because they stay married throughout the years.
Now, are they happy? I don't know. I have Indian friends. They say they're happy. They're married. They've been married 30 years. And I'm like, okay, good for them, you know. I had one that had arranged marriage. They're best friends. They're always doing stuff. When we were younger, when I was younger, I was always watching their kids. And they're always going out and doing stuff together. And I was like, that's a great relationship right there. Can I have that relationship? I don't know. But they have it. All right.
So, prioritizing your bond, including communication, trust, love, and intimacy is paramount. By approaching this decision with care, respect, and empathy, couples can navigate these waters and emerge stronger, regardless of whether they decide to continue with the lifestyle or take a break from it.
Indeed, the decision to pause or step away from swinging lifestyle can be motivated by a variety of factors many of which reflect significant life changes reassessments of personal and mutual needs within a relationship all right so i kind of came up with a list why you would stop number one is pregnancy i know a lot of couples some people some couples do have a breeding kink where the guy loves having men fuck his wife and come inside of her and she's not on birth control or anything like that to me that's very dangerous um i know a couple back home in michigan that they had that kink and she got pregnant by one of her guys that she was screwing around with and he was perfectly fine with he loved it whatever they like it but if you are not one of those type of people pregnancy needs to be discussed how what kind of birth control you're going to take what are the precautions you're going to take or when are you going to get pregnant especially if you're a new couple you don't have kids you're young you're younger than the average like 40 or you're in your 30s or in your 20s so you got to communicate openly discuss any concerns and potential impact on both your relationships and swinging activities i have played with couples at my age with in their 20s and 30s they still can get pregnant now you always wear condoms but there are times where you don't use them and you have to remember, I don't pull out.
I stay in. You hear that? I stay in. I don't pull out. All right. So you were taking a risk because I tell them, I always ask, are you on birth control? Because I tell them either I don't tell them, I will tell them that I have a vasectomy, but you just don't know. You know, you never know with a vasectomy or anything like that. Nothing's 100%. Thank you. Because I tell them, either I don't tell them, I will tell them that I have a vasectomy, but you just don't know. You know, you never know with a vasectomy or anything like that. Nothing's 100%. Not having sex is only 100%.
It's time to make the decisions, guys, that prioritize the well-being of the mother and the unborn child. You got to get tested. Make sure you're getting tested for STDs before it all is said and done. Because that can affect the child just as much as the mother. All right?
and there's a way they could print it from transmitting and all that so pregnancy is one medical issues you got to put your health first things like that take a break allows you to focus on recovery or management of medical conditions without medical stress now a lot of people think well that's like uh that's some serious shit i don't know it could just be you have knee surgery you have shoulder rotator cuff you have neck surgery you know things like that you want to get plastic surgery you want to get new titties ladies you want to get new boobies you want to get the bbls oh there you go guys you want to get a dick implant get a bigger or sausage for your ladies that takes time to heal you don't want to be fucking with that all right rule breaking Rule breaking, all right?
Let's talk about rule breaking. What happens then? Building, rebuilding the trust. The situation calls for a serious discussion, all right, about boundaries and trust. It's time to access whether your relationship can move forward and how. Because you know what? Honestly, rules are always broken.
If you ever talk to an experienced veteran swingers, they will talk about the times they broke rules and they always you'll see it on tiktok if you scroll on tiktok you'll see enough you know that's why i like some of the i like that uh god that unicorn landing couple i like them because they're honest about stuff they talked about taking one for the team they talk about breaking the rules and stuff like that another couple was talking about she always wears a condom with the guy she plays with but then one time she didn't use one and all yeah and all that so i like it when people are honest i like the podcasters that are honest and not just glorifying our lifestyle to make money off of it rules need to change all right rules do change like everything else people grow and change you know what are you going to do what what you know we had the couples we had the unicorns now let's have the single guys things like that you know maybe you turn into from a stag vixen to a full swap couple where you don't play with any singles or you play with only single women now and all that stuff so things change rules change so what so what once was a perfect set of rules might no longer apply kissing i don't understand the kissing rule but couples have it where they don't kiss i'm putting my penis inside her vagina and her butthole but yet they don't want me to kiss her all right no problem condoms all the time those are some of the rules no uh no going off and swinging with someone else only same room swinging and all that we have to be there together those are some of the rules.
No going off and swinging with someone else. Only same room swinging and all that. We have to be there together. Those are some of the rules. Some of those rules change. I know couples that are opposite way. They pretty much go their opposite way. Once they walk into that club, they'll walk into that club. They'll go separate ways because they're going to go out bang and they don't care. That's just them. That's their rules. No need is no longer there.
Discuss evolving needs and desires within your relationship if swinging is no longer fulfilling all right life transition and other priorities focus on what's important when life comes overwhelming busy or stressful it's wise to prioritize this stuff all right um this means taking a step back from swinging to focus on your relationship, and life challenges okay what else all right let's see lack availability this is what sucks i feel bad for i have a oh i'm gonna tell you so lack availability i'll tell you in a minute balancing life if swinging starts to feel more like a chore than a pleasure because of the time constraints taking a break can relieve stress and allow you to focus on rejuvenating your personal and shared uh your shared uh lives and all that all right so with that also the lack of availability would be the lack of clubs and people in your area when i was in florida i met this young beautiful couple she was gorgeous and all that and they were down at caliente spending the week and having a great time they live in bfe in the midwest way up in the dakotas and all that there's no clubs there and i was talking to them after i i talked to them when they went home talked to them for a year lost contact don't talk to them anymore.
But all the time they're complaining. They don't got this. They can't do nothing. Their kids are teenagers. They're in high school sports. They own businesses. So they got to do all that stuff with that. But they had the lack. The lack of availability was what was keeping them from being really into the lifestyle.
They would only do it when they had that time and all that and i was trying to help them out say hey if your kids go to tournaments on the weekends look up places where there might be a club because there might be a club in i don't know fargo or bismarck whatever they're at minneapolis milwaukee things like that there might be a club there that they can go to put the kids to bed have some parents watch their kids the other parents and they go off and have their little fun but they were more really into the family thing and they were really so they really didn't have that weren't looking to do that she would complain about it all the time but she wasn't putting the effort and all that into it so you do have a lack availability by distance by location you know there's not that much availability if you're in kansas or wyoming or other places you know even people talk about the religious places religious places usually have the most look at here florida sunbelt alabama mississippi has a great club louisiana fucking crazy is debauchery and all that but you know well you think there's no not a good club you'll be surprised that there's some pretty excellent clubs there insecurities and challenges support and understanding the support to support each other through personal struggles taking a break from swinging can provide space to address and work through these issues together and another thing thing that can really kill it.
And this is why I said gentlemen have to be very observant. Pay attention to the girls. Pay attention to surroundings. Bad experience can screw up your swinging lifestyle for you and your partner. Like recovering from any negative experience, time and reflection is always needed. It's an opportunity to discuss what went wrong and how to move forward, whether within or outside of the swinging lifestyle. And you know what really makes it a bad experience? Alcohol. People drink too much in this lifestyle. They get hammered, they get shit-faced and they don't know how to handle their liquor.
You know, now you got some ones that are good with handling liquor where they're happy drunks, but then you get some people who are just mean, mean son of a bitches and they want to fight. They want to do stuff. Remember, you're at a swingers club.
A swing club is a place for couples and singles to talk to people people find a connection and have sex with people guys are going to look at your wife your wife's dressed in a mini skirt where her vagina is showing they're going to look what is the problem there all right so some of those things are just uh the bad experiences are just too many there i've seen so many i've seen fights one person doesn't pay attention to the other and it just puts a sour taste in their mouth so lay out the alcohol make sure especially if it's your first time if it's your first time remember we were all first times i was scared when i went to my first time i was nervous how would i be perceived i because actually i was i was naive because this is the time in 98.
Internet is no big deal. There ain't no chat rooms hardly anywhere. Excuse me. So you didn't know how much hatred the single male had. And I don't think there's a lot of hatred for single guys when I started. I think that developed over the years that now there's like, we don't really like single guys and all that.
Now the clubs wouldn't let single guys in, but there like this oh single guy let's get them out of here no it wasn't like that it was pretty awesome when i was started guys i wish we could go back to those times so the bad experience can kill a swinging relationship talk about what went wrong was it a couple that just rubbed you the wrong way you know you gotta have swinging relationship talk about what went wrong was it a couple that just rubbed you the wrong way you know you got to have safe words safe things do things that tell the partner they're not interested in this person or whatnot and all that so you got to have those all right so you got to have that bad experience talk about it all in due time all right relationship challenges if the relationship is under strain adding the complexities of swinging might make it even worse focusing on core relationships can help rebuild this um rebuild a strong foundation you got to have the foundation if there's crack in that foundation it's gonna it's gonna break and it's gonna fall all right a lot of couples end up you know and veterans you you're listening, you know, you've seen those couples there.
They're there every weekend for a couple of months in a row, then boom, you don't see them ever again. Why? What's going on? All right. Another reason why you might want to think about quitting is this old age. Yes. I'm 47 right now.
how long should i keep doing this should i do it when i'm in my 60s 50s 70s i don't know what would i even get laid if i'm in my 70s i don't know maybe at the villages in florida so embracing age with confidence but i think i'm getting better looking i'm getting better at you know sex being a good um single male for a couple age can bring insecurities and it does for me because you know what when i see a younger cat i'm like fuck i'm not gonna get picked the couple's gonna pick the younger guy you know and all that but many in the swinging community find that confidence connection matter more than age uh you know some i agree and i disagree with this because i know couples where nope we're not partying if you are over 40 we don't want you and all that then i know couples where we only do 40 and over when i first started i got rejected not because i was ugly or anything like that it was because i was their age of their kids and a lot of couples like wow i would tell, I'm 22.
And they're like, oh, you're my daughter's age. I can't do that. I'm like, fuck. I'm like, damn it. And all that. I can't wait to get older so I wouldn't be her daughter's age. And I actually got turned down because of my age. I was too young. Now, it really doesn't matter. I see guys in their early 20s that go to the club, getting laid by women in their 50s that have children their age and all that.
So I think times have changed where now people are more accepting of younger all ages but i have like i said it's just difficult you know the judge do they like younger guys or like older men and stuff like that remember attractiveness and secondness sexiness are not confined to youth that is true it's not confined to you but youth does help it does help it out. Let's be honest. Right now. If I'm 25 years old. I got my six pack ab. I got my six percent body fat. I have a lot of options at the club. And you will too. If you're that guy. All right. I got to get back in this gym. So CPA.
Taxes are done. Everything is over. So now I can get back to the gym so cpa taxes are done everything is over so now i can get back to the gym and start working out this uh cola gut that i have and all that so you know it is what it is guys but those are some of the reasons why you might want to stop thinking about stop swinging i recommend if you're gonna any of that if you're gonna stop swinging make sure it's for the right reasons all right recommend if you're going to any of that, if you're going to stop swinging, make sure it's for the right reasons. All right.
And if your wife or husband want to stop swinging, take that into consideration. Remember, a good man, a good woman is not always there. Swinging will always be there. There ain't no one's going to stop swinging unless there's another COVID outbreak.
And even there's a covid outbreak people found ways to fuck i was fucking during covid having threesomes and foursomes during covid so you know nothing's gonna stop swinging swinging will always be there but a good woman and a good man those are hard to find you know what i'm talking about single guys single girls you know what i'm talking about it's hard to find a good man it's hard to find a good woman so you know if they want to stop stop pause just pause tell them you're going to pause just say you don't want to stop so you just let's pause it honey let's pause it we'll address it back in a couple months and see what happens because you never know she just might not be oh she might be overwhelmed especially if she's fucking hot she's a very good looking woman and you got guys and girls coming after her at the club like she's meat she might uh she might you know not like might not like that and she might want to just pause and get her head wrapped around it and see and think about stuff because you never know what's going on all right so with that let's talk about some stuff uh I said, I'm starting this new thing I'm trying to do live on camera.
I'm trying to figure it out. Don't know much about it. Like I said, everything I do is amateur. It's not professional. I'm not looking for you to subscribe to my OnlyFans for $9.99 a month or anything like that. I'm just trying to get the word out about single men, have me a little more talk about me as a single guy, how my life has changed and how being a single guy at a club, how we feel and all that and all that. So that's all I'm trying to do. So be patient with this live.
So you can get me at youtube swinging single podcast on youtube i got twitter swinging single mel m on twitter i got instagram swinging single podcast uh tiktok it won't let me do tiktok right now i don't know why because it says the key is not right but tiktok swinging single podcast podcast also there so i got all these uh things i'm gonna put on i could i got a program here restream that kicks it out to all a bunch of things if you want to chat you could chat with me on here live as we go and all that so hopefully this gets out and people start seeing my uh live feeds i like i said i'll do this twice for an hour twice a week usually wednesdays and saturdays of my uh schedule permits and we'll just talk about swinging talk about my life as a single guy as a swinger with partners that used to swing with and all that and it should be fun like i said i already pissed off a lot of people because i tell the truth and if you don't like the truth that's all right because i'm going to tell it it's my story it's my podcast if you don't like it come on my podcast talk to me discuss it debate me on it and if you just want to be a guest on my show just email me at swinging single podcast at gmail.com we'll talk you know we'll promote whatever you got you got an only fans account let's promote that only fans.
If you got anything else to promote, you know, do that too. I'm always open for that to talk to people. If you're in the Houston area, you want to come to the Upside Down Pineapple Studios, you can come here and we can talk and have a good time and talk about our, you know, swinging ways. So let's see. With that, let's see. Where's my closing?
I didn't even do an opening song opening song see i was so worried about this online stuff that i didn't even get to the closing and opening music that i have but now i gotta find it let's see where is that all right so with that air of rear butter so hopefully you had enjoyed my little take of when to quit swinging and when to uh do that. Jim Nance. Jim Nance has something for you guys. Shave your cock and balls, gentlemen. All right. Remember to shave those cock and balls, dudes. No one wants a damn, you know, pubic hair in their mouth and all that.
It's kind of, you know, nothing will will turn off a girl it's always funny when they got they're picking it out of their face and and all that so just remember that all right let's see with that everybody i'd like to thank you for listening to my lovely little amateur podcast this is ac maxwell saying good night to everybody all to all my people catch me on fullswapradio.com also if you are listening in england or europe or anywhere else that speaks english look at the swing book there are a group of people in lunt in england they have a great topics and all that really fun thing they could talk about a swingathon that they're having in england maybe ac will go there this year i don't know i don't know if i'm invited or if i can go as a single guy so with that keep on swinging everybody and gentlemen remember to shave your cock and balls.
