Welcome to the Swinging Single Podcast, hosted by AC Maxwell! In today's episode, AC shares some of his own swinging rules and discusses what to do if those rules are broken. Get ready for an entertaining and informative discussion on the rules of swinging and how to handle potential violations.Episode OverviewIn the Swinging Single Podcast, AC Maxwell delves into the world of swinging and explores his own set of rules. He discusses the importance of establishing boundaries and guidelines to ensure that everyone has a safe and enjoyable experience. AC emphasizes the importance of communication, respect, and consent in swinging relationships.Breaking the RulesWhat happens if a swinging rule is violated? AC offers some advice on how to handle such a situation. He believes that open communication and honest self-reflection are crucial first steps. It is important to discuss the violation with all parties involved, listen to their concerns and perspectives, and work towards a resolution. AC suggests seeking guidance from other experienced swingers or seeking advice from a swinger-friendly counselor if necessary.In today's episode of the Swinging Single Podcast, AC Maxwell shares his set of rules for swinging and discusses what to do if the rules are broken. By following these guidelines, swingers can ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Tune in to this episode for valuable insights into the world of swinging and how to handle potential violations.
Transcript
All right. Welcome to the Swinging Single Podcast, a platform for sharing the unique perspectives of A.C. Maxwell. As your host, I will take you on a personal journey through the ups and downs of my years as a swinging single male.
Please note that while my experiences will undoubtedly provide valuable insights, it is essential to understand that these are my views may not align with your views so sit back relax get a bottle of lube and let's have some fun let's talk about swinging all right so today mr podcast producer talked to me about last saturday about what do you do when you know you with a couple you're with a single and they do one of those things where they break one of your rules like you know no male on male you know condom condoms only what do you do so this is what this episode is going to talk about it's going to talk about breaking trust and what and some funny stories about how ac you know once in a while we'll get a man try to stick his finger in my asshole so sit back relax and let's get the party started the swinging single podcast with host ac maxwell is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only the opinions views and content expressed or shared on the podcast are solely those of the host, A.C.
Maxwell, and any featured guests or contributors, and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, or partners. The information presented on the podcast is not professional advice and should not be treated as such. Listeners are advised not to rely on the content of the podcast as an alternative to advice from appropriately qualified professionals. If specific expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Listening to the podcast does not create any kind of professional relationship between the listener and A.C. Maxwell or any guest appearing on the podcast, any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract, engagement, or formal advice.
The host, contributors, affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, and partners of the podcast shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages resulting from the use of, or inability to use, the information in the podcast or from any decisions made based on such information. The content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Unauthorized use of the podcast's content, including but not limited to to, reproduction, broadcast, or alteration may violate these laws and could result in legal action.
By continuing to listen to the podcast, you agree to be bound by the then-current version of this disclaimer. Any questions or concerns regarding this disclaimer, please contact us at Swinging Single Uggmail.
Come by listening to the Swinging swinging single podcast you acknowledge that you have read and understand this disclaimer and agree to its terms shave your cock and balls gentlemen all right thank you for that nice intro we're going to talk about rules violations before we do that make sure you check me out on you know fullslopradio.com a bunch of podcasts are over there you get all those good ones also go to my twitter at swinging single m at uh youtube at swinging single podcast instagram at swing a single twitch same thing at swinging single podcast and everything pretty much all the social media tiktoks at swinging single pie podcast all those great things can touch me ask questions and all that i love to hear from all the people that all the five people that are listening all right so let's talk about swinging my conjure you know it might bring up images of a carefree adventure where you know the safe where but it operates within boundaries just like any relationship everyone thinks they see what they see on a movie okay so it's something on a movie and they're having a great time all these beautiful people are fucking no one else is doing anything it's no ugly people everyone's in shape everyone's looking great but that's not that's the furthest from the truth it's a lot of mom bods dad bods and all that but then you know you gotta have boundaries when you are swinging because you don't know well you know what's going to happen so you might want to you know you know chill and you know have those boundaries to talk about it boundaries ensure that trust isn't compromised and safety is maintained all right so that's very important it's safety of everybody sometimes there's not safety at all all right um when they're when they are disregarded damage control is needed to restore what's been shaken recovering from a breach of rules can be a complex journey that demands dedication patience uh constant effort below you all right so i got some below i'm going to tell you about some uh rules have or, you know, some advice on how to heal when some of these rules are broken.
Now, let's talk about me a little bit. In my 20 plus years as a swinging swinger, I have been with many couples and many singles.
And, you know, there's always these rules that they put out and they say, oh, we don't we don't do that i have always found that you know with these rules a lot of them break them because you know we start thinking instead of this head we start thinking we start thinking with the head below and that kind of screws everything up with you know everything that's going on so you know you say always say well we always use condoms i had couples say we only use condoms we never we never ever play without condoms and next thing i know she's on top of me trying to put my bareback dick inside of her cock inside of her so and that happens sometimes and you know you had the ones where a guy would tell me he's not bisexual or anything like that but yet when i'm pounding on his wife he's rubbing my ass and trying to stick his finger up my butt and this happened one of the stories is i was at a party i have told this one before but i think it's a goodie so a couple invites me i'm in buffalo new york and a couple invites me to a candlelight society uh party it's a hotel takeover they invite me up and i go over there i think you had i had to be sponsored by a couple to get in now they didn't allow you know just any old tom dicker here to get in so i go me before the party me and the couple play we have a great time great threesome we're tired well actually we're not tired we're all worked up ready to go ready to fuck again and but we want to go down to the party see who else is out there see what else we can get into you know so so we get down there we're partying everything it gets later tonight we eat we get our fluids replenished're partying and everything, it gets later in the night, we eat, we get our fluids pre-plenished and everything like that, and it's one of those things where we got to, you know, figure out what we're going to do.
and that means we are going to go up to the party suite they had a party suite where people go up there and fucking all that so me and them are fucking me and her go up there he's following along with us right so we're like okay we're going to have some fun now we're going to see everybody else and there's a bunch of people in there and all that people are started we got there a little later than everyone else and people started we're fucking and it's great because everyone's fucking there's a two beds both beds are occupied by people fucking having a great time me and her join in we're playing around she's playing around we're it's like bodies this is like a real orgy where you see everyone's just touching everything and you know girl on girl guy on girl and all that stuff no guy on guy or anything like that at least what I thought would happen I didn't think it was happening so you know I'm over there you know playing with the one girl stop play with another girl and all that all this is safe at this time and finally you know I'm not I haven't come yet I haven't you know unleashed and so one nice ass lady sits on my face so if she sits on my face her pussy is in front of me her ass is down by my chin you know so her ass is facing my cock and balls all right and you know I'm not bothering anything I'm licking either her pussy's tasting great I'm having a great old time I don't know.
you know, so her ass is facing my cock and balls. All right. And, you know, I'm not bothering anything. I'm licking either. Her pussy's tasting great. I'm having a great old time. And someone starts sucking on my dick. And I'm like, okay, no problem. It's got to be a girl, right? Well, later I find out one of the dudes was going down on me. I had no clue who it was.
I know only one I knew they told me was the the girl who was sitting on my face it was her husband that was going down on me and you know like I said I didn't know who the fuck it was if I knew it was a dude I would have been like no I'm not interested thank you very much but I passed so I'd never bother eject I didn't come or anything but after a while you know when she got up he stopped doing it she got up and that was it and i just went back and all that and started playing with everyone boom bada bing i come we do our thing and the lady later on my the lady that brung me the couple that brung me told, he was sucking on you.
It's like, what the fuck do you mean? And I was, now, I can get pissed off and angry about it, but what am I going to do about it now? I'm going to go outside and beat his ass or something and go to jail or in prison and shit like that? No. It's one of those things you learn. Now I learned to keep my head on a swivel. Don't let some woman sit on my damn face. And God damn it. And she really had a great pussy too. It was nice, but that ruined my night. That ruined everything for me. I, you know, I was, I was upset, but you know, you got to move on from that. I can't just sit there.
That, that one bad experience ruined the rest of my swinging time. And that's what you got to do. Something, a rules, a boundary is broken. A rule is broken. Make sure you do something where you don't ruin it. So, you know, how do you recover from stuff like that? One, start with yourself. Two, make a plan for how you want to work on trust. Now, if you have a partner, now as a single guy, it was easy for me. I don't have to work on myself. I don't have to worry about a female. Now, can you imagine if this happened where a girl ate out my girl and she wasn't bi, she didn't like any of that?
That's a whole different story because the girl would be a little more upset, you know, whatever reason and all that. So she's upset more than what I would have been. And now I have to talk to her to make sure she's okay with the lifestyle. So if you're a couple, you got to start on yourself as the person, you got to make a plan, how you want to work on that trust. Can you trust anybody in the lifestyle? I would say, yes, you can, but you really got to get to know these people.
Do not just right off the bat trust them you know i don't know how many people say oh yeah we get tested but yeah if you ask them to show you your test results they're not there you know and you know what you got to be very careful because people doctor test results i heard seeing people you know they doctor them and all that and it, they're kind of fishy. Three, make the effort to understand each other. So if something happened where a boundary is broken with a couple, make sure you try to understand each other, where they're coming from. Where's your wife coming from?
Where's your husband coming from? Did you, you know, go off with a guy on your own when you weren't opposed to? Stuff like that. Four, own your responsibility. You are responsible for yourself. You can't be responsible for everybody else, what someone else does. All right. If she wants you always there to be around the protector, you better be around the protector. Better not be going around, screwing around. Five, address others' questions, whatever that is. Six, define priorities. What are your priorities? Is swinging that big of a priority for you guys and all that? Yes or no?
It's up to you what you're going to be doing. Seven, be patient with each other. Swinging takes time.
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if you need to hear this this but swinging will always be there swinging is not going away think about the roman orgies swinging has gone all the way from roman orgy times to all the way to 2024 it's not going away so next week though the club will be there the week after that it'll be there now will be always the same club no it'll it'll change names or one club is shut down another one will open but it'll always be there so be patient eight renegotiate the rules and boundaries all right as a couple you got to figure out what are your rules and what are your boundaries i addressed this late earlier you know another podcast but you got to think about are you always going to wear condoms are you only going to play with couples are you only going to play with men are you only going to play with uh singles same room different room there are couples that can only play in separate rooms and all that are you going to be able to go off to when you get to the club can you go off by yourself and play stuff like that nine don't look back look forward nothing even in any vanilla relationship or anything you always look back You are never going to move forward and a lot of people do that i tell my vanilla friends like oh you can't find a good man because you're always looking back you're always looking over your shoulder you're looking at the past you got to look forward you got to see what's in front of you to recognize it same thing with uh swingers you got to look forward you're gonna ever not every swinging experience is going to be great.
Some are going to be shit. Some are going to be average. Some are going to be great. All right. You've got to look forward to the next one. And the 10th one I had is take care of yourself every step of the way. Your mental health is more important than anything. It's more important than going to the club. It's more important than finding couples to fuck. It's more important than anything else because you have a family to care for. Your family wants you to be around. So you got to be smart about it. Do not do stupid stuff. Take care of yourself first, people, and all that. All right?
You know, some of my rules. I always try to think, what are my rules? And I have very few rules. If you're a bisexual male of a couple, please let me know that you're bisexual. I don't mind. I would say I'm bi-friendly because I don't mind another man in the room or whatnot. And what I really worry about is, am I going to get a finger stuck up my asshole in anything or get a sneak blowjob from someone when the wife is trying? Now, it's kind of easy if it's just three of us and the wife's sitting on my face and someone's sucking my dick. I kind of know who it is.
But when you have an orgy like I did in Rochester at the Candlelight Society, that was crazy because I'm telling you, both king-sized beds were full of people. There must have been six, seven people on each bed. We're just fucking having a good time. But with my rules, it's just simple. Treat me like a human being. Yes, I'm a single guy. Yes, I have no pussy for you to give, but yet I'm still a human being. You want respect, you got to give me respect. So that's probably my only rule. Looks, I don't care about looks anymore. I care about how you're going to treat me.
I like big ladies, small ladies, thick ladies, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, and all that stuff. But it just comes down to how do you treat me? How does a couple treat me? Does the man act like I'm there to service them? I'm not. Just because I'm a guy, you know, I'm not ugly. I can get laid. So I don't, you know, swinging is just fun for me. It's great. I love the lifestyle. I love the free and easy lifestyle that it brings to us, but I don't need it. It's not going to be the end of the world if I never go back to a club. So it's just one of those.
So my only rule really is as a swinging single male, just treat me with respect. And if you do, you'll get that back from me all right oh let's see so what's the significance of swinging guidelines the guidelines for swinging are an assessment or assortment of packs spelling out how participants will engage in a lifestyle you know what happens if the rules are broken each pact is a mutual commitment to honor the integrity of the relationship. Your relationship with your wife. Your relationship with your husband.
These guidelines respect each other's partner's boundaries and personal levels of comfort. Swinging looks different for every couple. So there is no one-size-fits-all rulebook. Couples must craft their own guidelines that align with their specific wants and limits. Now I never hear that. I listen to podcasts of these swingers and when they do these rules, what you should and shouldn't do, they never say that. It's not one size fits all. Some people have a 10,000 rules that they have to follow. Some couples have no rule to follow.
They just want to go to a club, bang as many people as they can and go home, you know, which is fine, which is awesome because it's yours. If you got 10,000 rules, go. It's your relationship. It's your swinging lifestyle. It's not mine. Go do it. Have those rules. Good. If you don't have any rules, fuck it. Even good. That's still good. You are having fun. It's your relationship. You know your relationship. I'm not in your relationship. The couple that you meet there at the club is not in your relationship. They're not the ones paying your bills and everything, guys.
So remember, it's okay to have rules or have very little rules. It doesn't matter because there's no one size fits all.
and you can follow my rules it might not work for you follow someone else's rules that you it might work for you so it just depends on what you want so figure it out what you and your significant other wants one of these guidelines are established to adhere by both partners is crucial such rules provide the framework for secure and enjoyable environment absent this structure pain and dissatisfaction can ensure so if you don't have these rules do not go on the fly try not to go on the fly though you know i know you the rules come up things change just look at sports one rule one rule's there.
Next year, it's gone because something bad happened in the playoff game, so they change it. All right? Just like this, try to get as many rules down as you can as before you start. Swiggin guidelines are not there as suggestions. They are the foundation for the lifestyle. All right? The most commonly disregarded rule among couple is taking one for the team. Additionally, consistently using condoms is another guideline that many often overlook. Taking one for the team and condoms are always the two ones that I see couples break and I break them. I'm not perfect.
If someone says they're perfect, but a couple tells me they always use condoms all the time. And I ask them, how long have you been swinging? Oh, we've been swinging 10 years. I know they're lying to me because there are times where, you know, bareback sex is just a lot better than putting a condom on. And just going in is a lot more sexier than getting the fumbling with that condom, putting it on and all that. So you know what? It's going to happen. It's okay. We'll all live hopefully. All right. So reasons behind breaking swinging guidelines. What are some of the reasons why you might break?
People may infringe upon these guidelines for various reasons.
Some test limits out of a, you know, out of rebellion, while others might just not understand the rules fully misinterpretations can occur that's why you gotta be very careful all right and all right particularly when individuals don't clarify their understanding then there's the factor of alcohol sometimes it's a matter of someone overindulging and accidentally crossing the line and a lot of the times when single guys get act up and guys do but also married men that are there with their wives act up too it's because they get a little too much of the alcohol courage and they think now they're going to start touching women in the ass, touching their boobies, stuff like that.
Women get like that too. They start touching stuff that they're not supposed to be touching or they didn't ask first. Remember, always ask for permission. Consent. And the rules are broken and you might, not only might break the rules, you might break a good time. So always make sure, limit the alcohol. If you have to get fucking hammered, you shouldn't be in this lifestyle. Stay out of it. So true understanding of why a rule was broken requires open and deep communication. If it's alcohol, that's all you got to say.
Now, if it's because, you know, shit, I saw some lady, you know, and she was just fine and she didn't want to wear a condom. Fuck it. That's the reason why I broke that rule. Cause that's the reason I'll see you next time. saw some lady, you know, and she was just fine and she didn't want to wear a condom, fuck it. That's the reason why I broke that rule because that's the reason. All right. And you got to be honest with yourself and all that. Some people are not honest. They lie to themselves to make them feel better, but you got to be honest.
If you're honest with yourself and open up with your partners, you're going to have a great swinging relationship and you're going to have a great experience in swinging if you don't you're always going to be looking over your shoulders thinking who knows what what am i doing here so it is vital to discern the intent behind the action deliberate rule breaking where an individual is fully aware of the guidelines and its importance as well as the the potential follow of disregarding it. It's seen as a conscious choice and can be more painful because of it. All right.
So if you know you're breaking in, you're doing it on purpose, you can really hurt your spouse's feelings.
And if the spouse is a female, she might not be interested in participating in a lifestyle, then now you're now you're going now you're a single guy I always say this every man in the lifestyle is one bad decision away from being a single male and what I mean by that is that if you do something stupid she might decide well I don't need this dude I know my pussy controls everything I don't need him I need someone that respects me who's gonna adore me and yada and i go find someone else now that dude is getting divorced and now he's single guy all right and it happens you see a lot of guys get divorced oh yeah me and my ex wife swung and and all that so like i said gentlemen you are one stupid decision away from being a single guy.
Welcome to the club guys. All right. I don't want you to do that. So, like I said, gentlemen, you are one stupid decision away from being a single guy. Welcome to the club, guys. All right. I don't want you to do that. I want you to have a great relationship with your wife. I want you to be able to talk to your wife. You got to be able to talk to her. Don't do something just out of spite. Maybe she pissed you off. Maybe she bought a thousand dollar Gucci bag. I don't know how much they are, but whatever. But remember, she comes first. Make sure she's happy. You will be happy, gentlemen.
All right. If a rule is violated due to ambiguity or lack of awareness, there's often more room for forgiveness. Like if she never tells you, I don't want you to kiss anybody. And she just says, no, you know, no, no making out. And you, you know, you give good tongue and you like have one good kiss and that's it. She didn't say making out. What is making out? Making out is like, well, you're tonguing each other for a while. Not for like if you just give one good kiss or a peck or you kiss on the lips real quick. All right.
So that's something that calls a problem that could, needs to be worked out. What do you mean by that? Do you mean any type of lip to lip context, stuff like that? And I only say that because a lot of couples do have that rule where they don't kiss anyone else.
I know you might be like, why the guy sticking his penis inside my wife or the woman, why do they care if lips touch well it's just something that some couples do i love kissing i love making out i hate when i meet couples like that because i really want to make out you know kiss and all that but i play with a couple they don't kiss or they don't i don't kiss or anything and you know i wish i could though but it's one of those things where, you know, it's the rule. So you got to follow and respect their rule. All right. Let's see what else.
The underlying intention can significantly alter our perspective and response to the broken rule. It's worth knowing that the intent behind breaking a rule isn't always malicious. At times, such actions could be a manifestation of uncommunicated needs that the partner is struggling to express. And you know, it is hard to talk to sometimes, especially when you're new. Now, it's not always there are exceptions to the rule, but sometimes, you know, when you are a new couple into this lifestyle, it's hard to say, you know what, I want a dick bigger than you, honey.
Honey, I want a girl with a bigger ass than you. And, you know, sometimes it's hard to say things like that. And breaking rules are not always meant means that they don't care about you. It's just that maybe they didn't know the rule too well. Maybe they didn't understand it. So that's why communication, yes, communication comes back in. All right. So here's another story about a rule breaking. So it was last Saturday and agreed upon rule was breached during a friend's party.
So I went to a house party after spending around three hours engaging with couples and other single men and women yes i talked to single men you know what actually single men if you're a single guy hook up with not hook up hook up i mean meet other single dudes because a lot of times they know couples that are into other single dudes especially if they've been in the lifestyle all right i always you know when i when I see a single guy, I always tell them, Hey, that couple, their game, they love single guys. You see that couple over there? Don't even bother.
They don't even care about single guys. You know, things like that. I'm very, uh, open to dialogue with other single guys because you know, you, you learn off of each other who likes what, who doesn't.
So, uh, so I'm playing playing around talking to people I started saying my goodbyes as the evening wound down and I noticed my partner I brought my partner with me was missing all right no problem maybe she's in the bathroom taking a shit who knows while searching for her I stumbled upon a room it was you know this room, dimly lit, swing decked out, got the little lights up on the top of the roof and all that. Looking good. All right. As my eyes adjusted, because all that, I saw her engage in intimate activities with the husband of from another couple. All right. No big deal.
But it's going to become a big deal. A couple I didn't really vibe with. All right. The lady was not into me at all. She was very, you know, she was like the guy. When you ask a question, you get one more response. That's all we get from her. One more response. They were more, I knew it. They were more interested in the girl.
No big deal would have loved they would have said hey can we watch can we have a you know can we play with your girl i'll be like sure as long as i'm there we're fine with it all right i'm not you ain't gonna hurt my feelings that you don't want to play with me but i love watching my my partner get fucked no big deal they never asked and this is where the problem comes in because she never told me that she was going off and play my rule with when I bring a girl bring it and I have a partner if I have a partner I bring we always stay with each other we don't go off in separate rooms we don in separate areas.
I get to be there to watch, make sure she's protected, make sure guys put condoms on and, you know, treat her respectfully and don't beat the shit out of her and all that. Now, you might say, well, beat the shit out of her. Yes, it does happen where guys get rough with girls and they leave marks. And, you know, not every girl wants a mark.
so that's one of our rules you know play together stay together so so like i said i saw her there we didn't vibe with the couple the female was not having anything with me the male is kind of a dick to me too meanwhile the only other couple left was the host the hostess were playing they were involved in similar activities in the same room making out doing shit blow jobs whatever so I felt isolated and uncomfortable for a while so I informed my partner that it was time for us to leave I was like fuck it let's go we're out of here it's 1 a.m 2 a.m let's get out of here and then lingered around for a few minutes waiting for her you know get dressed put her pant put her shit back on and so we get out of here the host soon paused his engagement with his wife noticing that i was kind of pissed off or anything like that and proceeded to just wrapping things up while i helped with you know actually cleaning up i started picking up bottles and stuff like that because, you know, I was bored and I was waiting for her.
I knew it would take her a while. So shortly after, the wife of the couple that was involved with my partner came downstairs and inquired about what's going on. Everyone's whereabouts. So I directed her, you know, I said, hey, they're in, you know, the room room over there and she entered ahead of me and abruptly shut the door on my face so i'm behind her and when she walks in she shuts the door right in front of my face right boom all right so after a brief wait i re-entered the room only to be met with a dismissive remark from my partner who was with this couple.
This partner will never be around me again. We're done. Shortly after, the wife of the couple involved with my partner, you know, came downstairs and all that. So the discomfort escalated. I opened the door again, attempting to resolve the situation calmly. I tried to be cool and all that. You know, I don't want to make a big fuss out of everything because, you know, you want to get invited back. The husband realized the attention and concluded the encounters, so they stopped it.
As they exited, they joined the host for a prolonged farewell, filled with, you know, affection, leaving me to observe, feeling neglected. I'm on the sideline from the group's camaraderie. that they had no all three of them didn't have anything she didn't respect me my partner the couple didn't respect me because he should have asked my permission to have my partner now what my partner probably told him that oh yeah i'm single i'm not with we're just partners and all that because we that's what we really really are. But I always tell people we're, we're together.
When we're there, we're, we're married couple act like we're married and all that. Don't be just, Hey, you know, we're just, he's just here to protect me because couples will smell that in the water. They're like sharks. They can smell blood in the water. They're going to come after you. And they're going to try to say, well, since she's really a single girl, we don't really need him. Well, that's where the respect comes in. And the lack of respect from the female, my partner, and the couple just totally blew my night. It sucked.
And, you know, it's one of those things where i just want to be felt like i'm being respected a lot of times it's not that way you always get that disrespect that you get all right so that's so that would happen last saturday last saturday night so like i said now if she is my she was my wife, that would be a different story. We will be talking more about it. I just caught, I just told her, you know, I wish you luck, good luck in what you're doing.
If you see men at a club or somewhere else, just say hello, no hard feelings, but I don't think we're not going to go any further as a couple or anything like that.
And, you know know she texts back some things and I just said no no interested and I just stopped responding to any of her texts and all that maybe after a couple months as I calm down and I feel better about the situation I'll talk to her again but I can't trust her I will never be able to trust her for a long long time so she to work on that trust, getting that trust back with me if we would ever to meet and party and be partner up again. All right, so the ripple effects of breaking the rules.
The significance of each rule varies from one relationship to another with certain guidelines holding a deeper personal value and as a result, leading to more profound hurt both personally and relationally when breached all right trust is you know it's hard to come by and the trust is the first casualty of any violation you got to earn that trust just like that girl she has to get my trust back how is she going to? I don't know. Once the assurances that partners will adhere to agreed upon rules is compromised, the foundational sense of safety within the relationship starts to erode.
So that's where the cracks. It's like when you pour a new house, you got the foundation, they poured a cement. There's no cracks in it. It's solid as a rock but then over time things happen where you know you get a little crack here and there and with more and more shit gets piled on it it cracks bigger it gets bigger the crack is bigger and sometimes it just gets too big where it can't be repaired and that's what your relationship is like a foundation that foundation gets cracks in it and you're no longer able to repair it.
So violations of swinging guidelines can shake the core of more of the most private connections. The reaction, you could be married 25 years, it could destroy your 25-year marriage. The reaction to such infractions is influenced not just by the nature of the broken rule, but also by the dynamics of the relationship and the personal significance assigned to that breach. If you're a veteran swinger and something, you break a rule, I think you have more of a chance of survival than you would as, say, like you, it's your first month, your first year, and you break a rule.
Then, you know, one of you will conk out, will tap out. And that's one of the things we don't want you to do. We want you to always have good time. So veteran couples, instead of trying to be sharks and try to fuck everything, try to take a younger couple under your wing, younger couples, you're going to get old. You're going to be looked at creepy too. Oh, that's a creepy old couple. Guess what? You're going to be creepy old couples pretty soon anyways. So you got to remember just because an old couple talks to you doesn't mean they're creepy or they look at you. All right.
Therefore, piercing the relationship back, piecing the relationship back together requires time, dedicated effort, and a commitment to open and honest dialogue. Each couple's journey to healing following the violation of swinging rules is distinctive and hinges on both partners, dedication and addressing the fallout. Consider these strategies to help smooth the healing process for both individuals. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I know you don't hear it a lot in these podcasts, but there is no one size fits all with swinging. Every couple has a different experience in swinging.
Some are good, some are bad. You all got to come with your own rules and all that. Swingers are like snowflakes. There's no two alike, almost. Sometimes you get a couple that are alike and all that. So you don't know but you got to remember that you as a couple have to come up with your own it can't be me it can't be some other podcast telling you how to do it you ladies and gentlemen have to come on your own so here are some things you can do to heal the process. All right. Begin with oneself regardless who messed up.
Before addressing the breach with your partner, introspect to comprehend the full significance of the transgression for you. Reflect on your viewpoint regarding how the situation unfolded and your feelings surrounding it. And what are your feelings surrounding? This self-reflection lays the foundation for more profound comprehension of the role, that emotional landscape amid the episode. Our G-nerk, G-nerk, knee-jerk, I'm sorry, jerk knee, knee-jerk reaction to infringements often leans towards pinpointing faults.
However, casting blame can derail us towards punitive measures rather than constructive resolutions. Consider how prepared you are to engage in your repair process before approaching your partner and clarify your needs within this context. Now, I would do a 24-hour rule where you don't discuss anything that happened for 24 hours because it lets you cool down. It's like I'm the boss at work. So when an employee pisses me off, I don't go over there, start screaming at them, stuff like that. What I do, I wait 24 hours. And if I still am angry about it, I address it.
If I'm not okay, no harm, no foul. I get over it. So try to do a 24-hour rule before you start discussing it. You're going to have to discuss it. If you don't want to discuss it, you cannot do this lifestyle because you are going to have fuck-ups. You're going to have hiccups in the road. You're going to do all that stuff, guys. And I'm trying to tell you, address it now. Do not wait till later.
Ladies, if you're pissed off at your man because he was looking at some woman let him know ladies men you're angry that your lady was talking to the one man too much for too long let them know you got to discuss this stuff all right just don't have a knee-jerk reaction to say fuck it we're done we're never doing this again i don't want to talk to you. See you ever again. We're getting divorced. Don't do that. It's not worth it. Discuss it. Understand it. Wait 24 hours for the 24-hour rule. All right, second one. Demonstrate commitment to improvement.
All right, after you talk, you figure out what's going on. The process of mending after a rule has been broken demands effort and patience. It's going to take time. Nothing is going to be an easy, quick, overnight fix. You know, look at your foundation. You got a foundation cracks on your home. How long does it take you to fix? You got to call insurance. You got insurance, got to deal shit, yada. Finally, the guys come out. They do an estimate. They go off.
It could be months before those cracks in the foundations are are fixed both partners must display a readiness to work through the transgression to recover from the infraction remember some infractions are just stupid you know they're just little tiny ones like he kissed her on the lips or you know she licked his asshole or something like that you know things like that he gave her him anal you know maybe a big thing but the kissings might be a small thing you know touching grabbing might be a little thing anal might be a bigger thing but you know that's up to you as the couple but you gotta work through that transgression that infraction for a couple to reconcile after a breach it's crucial they align themselves with the welfare of the relationship rather than against one another there you go don't get them on try to not do it where the one is at fault no one try to go as it everyone's innocent right now you're guilty you're innocent until proven guilty healing both partners are willing to invest time and energy so if you're if you're both ready to invest time and you will get through this.
It's going to happen where you're going to get in the fight. Just think about fights, not a swinging fight. Think of when you first dated and all that. You got in the fight. Did you break up? Obviously not because you got married eventually. All right. So it is possible to heal even in swinging. Sometimes I see a lot of blow ups, you know, a month later, I see the couple and they're all good. So it is possible. This shared commitment serves a common ground when challenges arise, uh, aiming to rebuild connection and field solutions to the painful episode.
Like I said, it could be painful to someone, but it could be painful to no one. Who knows? So the third one, acknowledge faults and extend an apology. All right. Organizing the impact of one's action is key. Rather than simply admitting cultability, the one who overstepped boundaries must accept responsibility and express remorse for their actions, repercussions before delving into explanation, facilitating a conducive environment for the other partner to absorb their perspective. Minimizing the situation or deflecting blame is likely to stifle open dialogue. And you know what?
I, AC, had to swallow the bullet and admit my faults. I have messed up sometimes. I was told not to kiss anyone and I kiss anyone. Like I said, it's hard for me, but as I get older, I am more able to control myself. When I'm younger, it's kind of a little hard. So I understand younger couples have this situation where it could be hard for them, a lot harder for them because, you know, it's new and exciting. But now, you know, I know next week the club will be there. The week after that, the club will be there. So I'm not in a hurry. So I'm able to follow the rules.
I'll have a lot better than I used to be able to. All right. Now engage in forthright communication and empathetic listening. All right. So be open. Your partner has to be empathetic and understanding you incidents of rule breaking can provoke profound emotional turmoil stirring issues of trust communication and commitment re-establishing trust starts with transparent communication while some admissions may be distressing conveying thoughts and feelings candidly, like concerns of waning passion or fear of renewed trust is essential.
Listening intently without rushing to respond allows for a genuine attempt to understand your partner's viewpoint. So don't over talk each other. Try to let the person talk. Then you respond and vice versa, because that just makes people angry and you go, can I talk? Can I talk? Can I get a word in? You know, you have that type of thing is no good. It's not going to help you. You've got to let the person talk. And when they are done, then you can respond to what they said or add your 10 cents. Okay. Or your two cents, whatever it is and all that.
allow space for emotional expression a breach can evoke a plethora of intense emotions it's crucial to allow each other the opportunity to express these feelings unrestrictedly understanding the full scope of the rule violation emerges when emotions are freely conveyed be patient with the expressions of feelings, even if they appear harsh or abrasive. Another one, re-examine the infractured rule. Discuss the rule itself before addressing its breach impact. Align on the specific behavior and regulations governing it.
Misunderstandings often lead to rule-breaking, and this dialogue can reveal differing emotional significance attached to a rule by each partner. This doesn't excuse the breach, but can illuminate the responses during and after the incident.
It may also come to light that the rule lacked clarity, with one of the partner's assumptions differing from the others now here's one i broke a rule of going off by myself and playing with a female the rule when we talked this is i was in my late 20s early 30s i was with a girlfriend one of the girl one of the few girlfriends i actually had a swinger relationship with we went to a club in michigan called god damn it what was it the meeting place i think it was i can't remember it's in paul paul I don't know.
girl one of the few girlfriends i actually had a swinger relationship with we went to a club in michigan called god damn it what was it the meeting place i think it was i can't remember it's in pawpaw me and her go and we always said if we find someone we like we can go play with them all right now we never said we go together or we go well we can go separate where there's no we just said if we find someone we like we can go play with that person i never said you I'll see you next time.
or we go well we can go separate where there's no we just said if we find someone we like we can go play with that person i never said you she at that time i didn't care she would go off and play with someone i was like i was fine with it however she was not fine with me so i met this lady couple and me and her hit it off husband we all all four of us hit it off she was not in the mood yet miss j was not in the mood my girlfriend miss j was not in the mood miss a the lady in there the the other lady was in the mood she was ready to go she's hot and horny mid 40s you know nice thick ass thick big titties and all that so you know she goes off she i did not know she did not ask my miss j if it was okay for us to play she just grabbed me showed me around she was like here i'll show you all around because and all that and're up there, she just started going down on me.
And one thing led to another and I'm having sex with her. We're playing, we're there for 30 minutes, 40 minutes, finally come down. She's like, where you at? She goes, well, she ended up, we ended up having sex and she got upset. She got really upset and all that. And I had to do, you know, this whole explaining and all that. I wasn't clear about the rules and I should have said, been a little better about it because, you know, I'm young, I'm a hothead at this time. I'm not, you know, that experience in the lifestyle, you know, as with a couple always been by myself.
So it was harder as a couple than it is for a single.
Cause I could do what I when I'm single but when I'm with someone I got to pay attention to them and make sure that all those rules are in place and that I don't break any of them well I broke that rule I thought it was if we found the person we could play with them no matter what it doesn't no questions asked because that's my was I always told her if you find a guy guy, you're like, go, go, have fun, you know, you know, it wasn't no big deal to me, but, and she's like, oh yeah, that's great, it wasn't clarified that we had to be there with each other, we talked, we argued about it for a while, we didn't use a 24-hour rule, which we should have done, because we were both hotheads at the time, We were very bad for each other, honestly.
But we were just, you know, we didn't do the 24-hour rule. That's why I came up with the 24-hour rule. You know, you got to cool off and all that stuff. And, you know, we eventually prepared our relationship. We continued swinging and all that until I moved to another state, then we broke up. But, you know, that's one of those things where, you know, I messed up because I didn't follow our rules. I thought our rules were that you can go play with anybody. If you find someone, you can go. You didn't need a partner with me. All right.
So now I know when I discuss the rules with any partner I get now, if I go to TPC, Colette's, the TNG, I'm always saying we're coming together. We're leaving together. We do not play separately. If you're going to play with some guy, I will be there to watch and help out, whatever. I'm very more, what is it? I'm very more detailed in my rules with everybody nowadays. So, you know, I'm happy about it. All right.
Planned future measures future measures deciding how to overcome the breach and restore the trust communication and intimacy is pivotal a mutual understanding of the incident is insignificant all right it's imperative to agree on strategies to avoid reoccurring issues which might entail redefining the rules or pausing swinging pursuits to address the underlying challenges. And Miss J and I, we paused for a month because we just couldn't see eye to eye. And it took us a while because I always said, you said it's okay to go play with someone.
And she's like, no, I meant was you had to be with me and i and it's okay to fuck her i just want to be there all right and i just said okay but you never said that and i always that's why i always try to get to her try to refer to her and make sure she understood is that you never expressed that to me that you had to be there you just said i can go off and play and i said you can just go off and play have fun with whoever you are with so you know we had to do that we had to take time off and re-evaluate our relationship all right so navigating the complexities of swinging lifestyle can often be more challenging than it appears at At its core, it requires a relationship built on solid foundations of communication, trust, and mutual respect.
Rule violations may occur, which probably will happen. We all break our rules. We all do. These moments test resilience of your partnership. So you're going to really know if you are really good at your relationship. Yet these challenging times can pave the way for a meaningful dialogue, highlighting areas that need attention and strengthening. How a couple emerges from these tests largely depends on their approach to addressing them.
In moments of difficulty, it's valuable to reminisce about the positive aspects of your relationship and to remember that you're both allies in the endeavor to enrich your bond and i mean it can actually it can lead to a lot more these fights can actually grow you as a as a couple and as a swinger couple, maybe you weren't telling your wife, honestly, that you are into dudes. There are a lot of bisexual men coming forward now in this lifestyle.
Maybe you can never do that, but you got in an argument because maybe she caught you playing around or, you know, checking out some guy, you know, whatever it is. We don't judge here. At least I don't, I don't judge people. If you're a bisexual male, you're more than welcome to party with me. You're more than welcome to party with everybody, with whoever I'm in with. We don't judge. You do that. We're BDSM. I don't like it, but you know what? I'm still going to party. I'm still going to hang out with you. You're still my boy. You're still my girl. I'm no problems. All right. So it can grow.
Maybe the lady was too scared to tell her she wants to be gang banged. You know, it's all this. She wants another dude with a 10-inch dick. I don't know. But these fights can lead to openness and better communication. Don't let these fights end your relationship because you're thick-headed. You blow your top. Like I said, sit back. Once a rule is broken, wait 24 hours to discuss it. If you have to, stay away from each other for a while, especially if you're married, go do something. She goes do something. You go do something. Get away from each other for 24 hours.
Then in 24 hours, come back and address the issue. What rule is broken?
Did did you not wear a condom did you take one for the team that you're pissed off that your husband made you fuck some limp dick bastard in front of everybody and it made her look bad you know and all that so it's one of those things you got you we're gonna fuck up we're human beings no one's perfect i know a lot of people on podcasts act like they're fucking perfect they have all the answers to everything but they don't i don't have all the answers to everything i wish i did if i did i would charge you 9.95 a month for my shit that's for sure but you know like i said enjoy swinging take it slow do not fucking jump in every weekend i mean i don't know when i was working at Club Cave in Houston, I saw couples that would be there every Friday, Saturday night.
And I don't know how they do that. How can you be at a place every Friday, Saturday night and have a legit relationship? You got to take time for yourself. And the funny thing is all those couples that would do it Friday, Saturday night, eventually I would never see them again. I worked there for a couple of years when they were off Hempstead. And, you know, you see a couple every week, every Saturday for months on months. You know, they just get burned out. You overburn yourself. Guys, swinging is going to be there. There's not going to be a shortage of swingers.
And one day, everyone's not going to wake up one day and go, you know what? I don't like having sex with multiple people. I think I'm going to stop swinging. It's not going to happen. It hasn't stopped. It hasn't stopped from the Roman orgy days all the way up today. So don't think it's going to stop this week. Okay, gentlemen, ladies, same thing. It's not going to stop. So take it slow. Enjoy the lifestyle. Communicate. Keep that communication open. Do not get upset with someone's fantasies or what someone wants to do. Enjoy it, people. All right. So let's see what else we got.
That's all I want to talk about today. Hopefully, you're shaving your cock and balls, everybody, because that's what you need to do. Gentlemen, shave your cock and balls. And, you know, wow. So remember, Full Slop Radio. You can see me, everyone else, a bunch of other podcasters. They got the same good advice as me. They're not as handsome as me. They're not as smart as me. And they can't fuck as good as me. But hey, we all can't be perfect, right? Like AC says, you can't be perfect. Next, let's see. What else?
Follow me on my social medias, Twitter, at Swingin' Single Mel next let's see what else follow me on my social medias twitter at swinging single mel uh let's see instagram at swinging single podcast tiktok at swinging single podcast uh let's see what else i don't know i can't remember i can't remember shit who the fuck like these young kids man your cats i got a lot of respect for you can Remember, you could name off your Instagrams like this. All right. I can't. YouTube, same thing. Swing at Swing a Single Male Podcast. I'll see it all. All right.
So for tonight, remember, ladies and gentlemen, shave your cock and balls. I hope you learned something and I'll see you. Well, shit, I don't know where I'll see you, but have a great night, everybody, and keep on swinging and gentlemen, shave those cock and balls if you can't hear the music on the live stream I can't help it because I don't know what the fuck to do I'm not an engineer
