In today’s electrifying episode of The Swinging Single, your favorite audacious host AC Maxwell dives into a topic many dare not tread - talking to your spouse about your deepest, most secretive fantasies. This episode isn’t just a talk; it’s a journey into the bedrock of intimacy and communication within a marriage.Why do many find it challenging to share their fantasies with their significant other? What are the consequences of keeping our desires hidden beneath layers of hesitation? AC Maxwell isn’t just asking; he’s on a mission to answer. Armed with expert advice from renowned relationship therapists and candid anecdotes from listeners willing to share their own experiences, this episode promises enlightenment and perhaps, a little cheeky inspiration.From understanding the importance of creating a safe space for these conversations, to practical tips on initiating the talk without fear, AC guides you through the maze of vulnerability that often surrounds the subject of sexual fantasies. Whether you're looking to reignite the flames of passion or simply curious about navigating this delicate topic, today’s show is an essential listen for those committed to deepening their connection with their spouse.Remember, it’s about more than just revelation; it’s about fostering a deeper understanding and bond with your partner. Tune in, get comfortable, and let’s embark on this journey of exploration and intimacy together. Get ready to transform the whispers of your fantasies into the foundation of a stronger, more open relationship.Available now wherever you get your podcasts.Prepare to be enlightened, entertained, and perhaps a little bit emboldened by The Swinging Single with AC Maxwell – where silence is broken, and fantasies are spoken.
Transcript
Hello, my beautiful listeners, and welcome back to another episode of the Swinging Single Podcast. I'm your host, AC Maxwell, ready to dive into yet another titillating topic that's sure to spice up your conversations and possibly your bedrooms. Today, we're getting personal, and I mean really personal.
We're talking talking about discussing your deepest most intimate sexual fantasies with your spouse now i know what you're thinking ac what sounds that sounds exciting but also a bit intimidating and you're right it can feel like that but worry not we're going to explore the ins and outs of how to share these fantasies with openness honesty and most importantly a sense of adventure that can bring you and your partner closer than ever before we'll cover everything you need to know from overcoming initial shyness and finding the right moment to the reactions you might encounter and how to navigate them plus we got a few tips on how to keep the conversation constructive and positivity positivity ensuring that both you and your partner feel safe and heard so whether you're looking to break the ice on this topic with your significant other or you're simply curious about those conversations and can change that can transform your relationship you're in the right place also we're going to talk about some drama from the caliente facebook group so stay tuned because we're about to embark on a journey of discovery, excitement, and intimacy.
Trust me, you don't want to miss a minute of it. Let's get the show on the road. The Swinging Single podcast with host A.C. Maxwell is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. The opinions, views, and content expressed or shared on the podcast are solely those of the host, A.C. Maxwell, and any featured guests or contributors, and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, or partners. Any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract, engagement, or formal advice.
The host, contributors, affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, and partners of the podcast shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages resulting from the use of, or inability to use, the information in the podcast or from any decisions made based on such information. The content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. By continuing to listen to the podcast, you agree to be bound by the then-current version of this disclaimer.
Any questions or concerns regarding this disclaimer, please contact us at swingingsingleogmail.com. By listening to the Swinging Single podcast, you acknowledge that you have read and understand this disclaimer and agree to its terms shave your cock and balls gentlemen oh yes gentlemen make sure you shave those cock and balls for those beautiful ladies out there that are willing to go down on you suck that cock of yours all righty so let's first take a break let's talk about doobie energy drink you are at the club, you're struggling to get that extra fuck on, Doobie Energy.
Doobie Energy is the right place for you. All assortment of flavors, all kinds, cheap. And you get a discount if you put in Swinging Single. Yes, a 10% to 30% discount on your order at doobie.gg.
make sure you go check that out go support the swinging single podcast also if you really want to help out i'm on joystick.tv at the swinging single podcast you can see me butt ass naked jerking off coming busting loads dropping loads and all that stuff so you got all kinds of stuff and all that and all that so you know have all that great stuff so today like i said we're going to talk about making those fantasies come true because you know sometimes a lot of people can't tell your significant other that they want to bang another chick or bang another dude or they want to swap or watch you get game bamed by a bunch of black dudes or whatever you want to do so this is the conversation that you're going to want to listen to today so talking about your secret romantic dreams with your partner isn't always easy you need to really trust each other talk openly and know what's okay and not okay for both of you this little guy can help you talk about your private thoughts in a kind way without making anyone feel weird or upset by understanding that it's normal to have these dreams and learning the best ways to chat about them you and your partner can find things you both like handily how to handle any jealousy feelings and then think about how it all went doing this can help you and your partner get closer in a careful and kind way do this and you maybe you and your partner are not going to be swingers maybe is this going to be a one-and-done type of thing it's okay everything is going to be all right i'm here to guide you through this to most of this time because yes telling your partner that you want to have sex with someone else it can be very dangerous for you and the relationship you know look at elena bobba remember when she caught off her husband's cock and i'm cocking all that yeah i do remember because i was i wasn't there but i was drowned during this time of this wonderful journey and all that so just make sure you talk in a good way understanding that talking about secret romantic dreams can make your make your close relationship even better but remember to be gentle and careful about it because it can also tear it apart.
Make no mistake about it, guys. This stuff can tear you apart. So you just got to remember how you approach it. So make sure you talk clearly and kindly. Choose a good time to share your dreams and use I when you speak to avoid any confusion.
Keep a good balance between being respectful of what your partner is okay with and discovering dreams you both like to keep your romantic life happy so talk like i said communication is the number one killer in this lifestyle also cheating but also communication if you can't communicate with your partner it's never going to work so you might want to definitely start thinking about it can i talk talk to my partner and all that? Don't be shy guys. Don't be shy. And ladies, definitely you ladies, you've controlled the swinging lifestyle.
Ladies, 100% gentlemen do not gentlemen think we do, but we do not control anything. Cause if it wasn't for that pussy, there will be no swinging lifestyle at all. So if you and your partner feel jealous or unsure face these feelings together by figuring out why they're happening and reminding each other how much you care use the chance to share your dreams as a way to grow closer keep the conversation going bring new and exciting ideals into your relationship the importance of fantasies in a happy okay so we're going to talk about how important to the fantasies are in a happy relationship.
You know, sometimes fantasies are just to be fantasies. They're not going to be come true. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. So sexual fantasies are normal and a good thing in a relationship because they open up the door to our erotic imaginations, which can make the connection between partners stronger.
Talking about your secret wishes with your partner and listening to theirs can help you both feel closer and more in tune with each other a sexual a sex therapist might even say that sharing these personal thoughts could lead to trying new things together like a particular fetish bdsm or a threesome when you're when you share your fantasies with partner, it's more than just telling them about a secret wish. It's also about showing that you trust them and are open to being vulnerable.
It's the key to understanding the difference between fantasies that are just for fun in your mind and those who might want to experience it in real life. Not all fantasies have come true to matter.
Sometimes just talking about them can be exciting enough there you go like i said sometimes the fantasy is better than reality like i know a lot of i get ghosted a lot when i email a couple or a couple emails me you know we talk for a couple days and boom nothing's going on nothing's happening because you could tell who's going to ghost you and who's not going to ghost you because if when if you are talking to a couple and they're talking a lot about what you're going to do to his wife and stuff like that you are going to get ghosted there there's no two its ands about buts about it because the problem is they're they're just looking forward to get off he's probably it's the husband probably just jerking off thinking about guys fucking his wife doing shit like that and it's sad because it really hurts the swing and why style it hurts myself because i'm wasting my time so you know you got to be very careful but you know just talking about could be hot enough like i know couples that go to clubs they're not i don't really call them they're not swingers because they don't ever swap with anybody but what they do they go there she dresses sexy she dances she flirts with all the guys and girls and all that and they go home and he talks about when he's fucking his girl how everybody wanted to fuck him so there's i know a couple couples like that here in the houston area that do that stuff and all that so understanding each other's limits what don't you don't have to act on all fantasies but talking about them can help your understanding of each other like i always i met a girl this past week and I told her I'm not interested in fucking other women I'm interested in taking you to a club and watching you fuck other men and women I'm not into you know I'm cool with just fucking one woman I just don't want to you know I just want to put it out there you know so she knows and all that so we'll see what happens with that but you know I just told her that and we talked briefly about our fantasies and all that stuff So it's discovering new things together.
If both of you are up for it you can safely try out some fantasies which can make your time together even more fun start off with fucking in front of people or start off by going watching people fuck and see if that how that works if it there's jealousy there or there is nothing there then you know you don't need to bring in a third or fourth person in or five or how many so you know just go start by being a voyeur and exhibitionist better talks having open discussions about your fantasies can improve how you communicate in other parts of your relationship and that's true a lot of couples do get in the swinging lifestyle and they become a better couple for it because now they're open and honest with each other and all that they're not lying to each other not going behind each other's back so this can open up discussions not even about sex it could be about parenting retirement job opportunities things like that what you want and all that so there's things that can happen so understanding the difference between what we daydream about and what we really want is important when we talk about our secret romantic dreams with our partner.
Daydreams are often make-believe stories that might not be something we really want to do. Some guys had the fantasy of watching their girl with other couples, other guys, fucking everybody. But when it comes down to it, they just can't do it because of the jealousy part.
part so on the other hand what we really want is our true urge or wish to do something romantic or sexual which might include some of our daydreams we actually want to make real there are some couples that want to swap with another couple they want to make it real hopefully it works out well for them and all that stuff I hope it doesn't go any bad or anything like that. We'll see. Anyways, so think of daydreams as a fun playground in your minds where we can be as creative and curious as we want without any plans to make these dreams come true.
What we really want though is more about real life and shows what we truly wish to do with our partners so let's talk about daydreams daydreams creative and just for fun not necessary to be made real the fantasy is better than reality okay so those are the day dreams so we're going to call daydreams things that we will want to think about but we might not necessarily want to become real then we have real wants true urges to do something romantic or sexual may include some daydreams we want to try for real so we have a lot of a lot of people in the swing of lifestyle have real wants so when desires are not the same especially in complicated situations like partner swapping talking openly and wanting to understand each other is key it is also very important to set limits and make sure everyone agrees to make the experience is safe and enjoyable this is where the problem a lot of swinger couples they don't always agree on what to do i've seen working at the clubs working at the nudist resorts i've seen couples we're only here to party we're not here to have sex with anybody and lo and behold by the end of the night there's partner swapping they're doing shit and things they're gonna probably regret in the morning you got to be able to keep your level head when you attend an event for the very first time and if you decided to do this maybe finding a couple and meet them at a bar not at a club is better off suited for you as a couple.
We don't know. I don't know. I can't tell you. That's what you have to decide with your partner. So when discussing your sexual fantasy with your partner, it is very important to be gentle and considerate. Sharing fantasies can make you feel exposed and sensitive.
It's key to understand the goal of such discussion is not necessary to act out these fantasies, to grow closer increase your mutual understanding now remember when you're a guy and you want to fuck another woman have a threesome with another woman your wife's first natural instinct is go is going to be what i'm not good enough for you it's every single woman's most most women will have that in their head I'm not good enough for him vice versa your wife comes to you I have want to get split roasted by two dudes but eight inch cocks husband's gonna go my cock's only six inches am I not good enough for you so that's where you got to be very considerate and gentle when you talk about your fantasies with your partner because it can in the long run it could destroy you because in the back of my head if my wife tells me comes up to me says i want to fuck a hung guy i'm gonna think and i'm new i'm like i'm 20 years in my 20s or early 30s i'm thinking well am i good enough for this woman or is she even sexually satisfied with me and and I am inadequate for her and stuff like that so that stuff's going to happen same thing with women women are going to feel inadequate because you want to fuck have a threesome with another girl another woman so you got to be gentle on how you talk about this because if you talk about say the wrong thing you're going to completely turn off your girl all right so remember so you remember you're going to have to be very careful how you do this just just not do willy if you do it willy-nilly you're going to be devastated how bad it's going get.
So start the conversation by talking about your own feelings and wishes by using I statements. So I want this. I want that. All right? Use I statements. Pay close attention to how your partner reacts, whether they seem interested, hesitant, or even uncomfortable.
You've got to be, you know, as open-minded as we like to think we are as a society,'re still closed-minded we're still on that you know i don't know if i like this especially when it comes to sex so we got to be very careful and i think that's very good understand how your partner is reacting does she does he or she you know cross her arms over her chest that's a standoff issue that's one i'm hearing you anymore. So you got to be able to understand her body language. And if, and her is in his body language, you know, the person the better than I would do it. So you should know better.
So if any feelings of discomfort or insecurity come up, talk about them openly and kindly. Do not wait for that talk. Talk right then and there. What?
Okay, honey, uh, I want to fuck have a threesome with another girl what what are you insecure about okay honey i want to have i want to get fucking tag teamed by eight inch cox what's your insecurity about is that cool or anything like that so if you both are open to exploring a fantasy be sure to agree on a clear limits and give consent beforehand are you going to kiss anal condoms no condoms things like that kissing things all all kinds of stuff you got to talk about that beforehand remember the act of sharing these thoughts can be just as meaningful as actions that might follow now look at kissing you might have a rule no kissing the other person you know after a while guess what, you know, you go, I don't really care anymore.
You know, you, you've been swinging for a year or two. You go, well, that rule is stupid. Let's just go with that. And, and rules start breaking down to a point where some couples don't have any rules. They could do whatever they want. So, you know, have a lot of rules first. Then after a while, those rules can come down.
You don't have to have those those rules anymore this is a chance to discover new aspects of your relationship and to emphasize the importance of feeling safe and secure together if she feels safe with you she's going to be okay if he feels safe with you he's going to feel okay so talking about your deepest fantasies with your partner is a very private moment that needs the right time and in place do not pick the restaurant and the crowded restaurant to talk about you wanting to fuck another woman and vice versa. Pick if you want to fuck another dude or swap another couple.
Picking a perfect time can make the conversation more intimate and welcome. Before you start sharing your more private thoughts, make sure you and your partner are in a comfy and quiet spot with no distractions or stress. One thing I would do, I would think I would fucking have great sex fuck and talk about and you fucking you're done you both you come you both come talk about it then you guys are you're cuddling each other whatnot whatever you're doing talk about it then so here's some things you could do to make sure the timing is right for when you talk about your fantasies. Check the mood.
Is your partner feeling relaxed and ready for an important talk? Usually during sex, you're relaxed. And you're having sex, you're both naked. Maybe a good time to talk about bringing in another woman or bringing in another man or bringing in another couple. Ensure privacy.
Make sure no one will interrupt or overhear your conversation conversation this is tough when you got little kids but it's possible but if you don't have little kids or your kids are all grown this is even more possible so make sure you're in privacy make sure no one can interrupt it because if someone interrupts it you can kill the whole conversation and you have to go back to it later make it cozy set up a comfortable environment that makes it easier to get close and talk like i said after you get done having great fucking sex do it then because that'd be a great time because you know what he's horned up she's horn still horned up hopefully and you guys will have a great conversation then you know i can't promise anything but you know it can happen all right next one so remember the purpose of sharing these thoughts is to explore together not to surprise or pressure by paying attention to when and where you share your fantasies you help create a secure place for both you to talk openly about your deepest desires and we all have them don't feel shy don't feel like you're a slut because you have these fantasies.
Everybody has them. And guess what? I guarantee you, 150 years, 200, 500 years ago, they had all these fantasies too. They were thinking the same thing. Starting a real talk about sexual fantasies might make you nervous. But using I statements, as in the letter I, I want to have a threesome, is a great way to talk about your private thoughts in a way that won't make your partner feel blamed or get defensive. When you talk about how you feel and what you have been through, you make space where you both can be honest and open. So here's how you can use I statements well.
One, figure out how you feel about the fantasy. Two, say how you feel clearly and don't make it sound like it's someone's fault. Three, talk about the fantasy that affects you and not your partner. Or four, ask your partner how they feel too. Let me go over those. One, figure out how you feel about the fantasy. So you want to have a threesome with another woman? How do you feel about that? Two, say how you feel clearly and don't make it sound like it's someone's fault. Don't say, well, your, your pussy ain't that great anymore. It's loose or whatever. Don't say that.
Your fucking wife is going to kill you.
And don't say your husband's dick is too small because you know what he's going to fucking kill himself about it three talk about how the fantasy affects you and not your partner how's having a bringing another third or another couple in going to make you happy or whatnot four ask your partner how the how they feel too so those are the four ways you can use i statements in your little sexual fantasy discussion so remember you're you are not trying to make your fantasies come true right away take your time you're trying to share and understand each other better because it doesn't just go like that it's just not like in a movie stop watching fucking porn stop watching movies stop listening to social media about swinging all right it's not fucking supermodels and all that shit you're gonna have mom and dad bods are dominate this and you're going to be looking at fucking mom and dad bods so after you share your deepest fantasies with your partner it's very important to listen carefully respond empathetically this means you really focus on your partner try to understand their point of view and recognize their feelings maybe your wife is not right now into bringing another girl into your bedroom but maybe maybe a couple months from now, she thought about it.
You haven't been an asshole about it and bugging her about it. Maybe she starts thinking, maybe that would be something that I'd like to do. Or you want to swap with another couple. Maybe that's something. So here's how you can practice empathetic listening. All right. One, acknowledge how your partner feels, whether they are surprised, curious, or worried. Do that.
That's a that's a great way you're worried about what's worrying you about bringing another woman maybe you can say well let's go on vacation out of town out of state or whatnot and we'll find a girl there so we don't ever have to worry about her coming around the house honey also never ever bring a friend into your swinging lifestyle don't do that. If you're girlfriend or whatever, you're going to cause problems. Do not bring a girl that you already know into your bedroom. It's going to fucking cause a problem. Trust me.
Two, don't interrupt or think about what to say next while your partner is talking. Let her talk. Let him talk.
Let them get everything out because it'll be better for them and you and you three repeat back what your partner says to show you're listening and be clear on any confusion remember the aim is not to agree or disagree but to understand and value their perspective this helps strengthen your bond and creates a trusting environment for both of you to talk about your sexual desires later on there partner might say you know what he or she really understood me she really took care of me she he or she did all this for me you know what i think maybe i'm ready to explore adding more people into our bedroom so it could be a good thing for you so when you share your sexual fantasies not all of them might excite your partner trust me they are so many times i've seen it where couples are not excited about Thank you.
so when you share your sexual fantasies not all of them might excite your partner trust me so many times i've seen it where couples are not excited about um what's going on and the caliente drama we'll discuss about that too some could even make your partner uncomfortable especially if they are considered taboo it's important to handle these discussions with care and know what a fantasy does not reflect your love or commitment to your partner here's what you I'll see you next time.
considered taboo it's important to handle these discussions with care and know what a fantasy does not reflect your love or commitment to your partner here's what you here's what to do if your partner says no to a fantasy one listen to their feelings and thank them for being open with you that's probably the hardest battle to open up this thing to tell your partner you know how many times i have told partners hey listen i'm a swinger i'm interested in the swinging lifestyle stuff like that i hope you are too i had to listen to their feelings how to do all this and you know what most of them run for the hills but there's a few that say okay i'm interested in too let's do this talk about which parts of the fantasy make them uncomfortable maybe bringing in a third person maybe you said you want to bang your wife's uh best friend no maybe that's what brain that's uncomfortable maybe the size of the man's penis makes your husband uncomfortable things like that so talk about what about that makes you uncomfortable and you maybe you can eliminate it easy peasy three see if there's a main part of the fantasy that can be changed to make it better for both of you see, stress the importance of both people being comfortable and green in your relationship.
That's the most important part. If you can't agree in any relationship, your relationship is doomed for failure. So remember, having a trustworthy and safe relationship is crucial. Respecting each other's boundaries shows the strength and respect in your partnership. All all right you got it you got all those things ladies and gentlemen so you know it's one of those things you got to really be careful of oh man this my joystick is showing but it's not going i can't see anything so So, anyways. All right, anyways, let me do this. Let me pause.
Sorry about that, but when you and your partner don't fully agree on fantasies, it's important to handle a situation with understanding and respect for each other's comfort. Here are some ways to work through these differences.
Start by talking talking about each other's fantasies focusing on trying to understand instead of judge do not judge someone for their fantasies you know it's a fantasy it's nothing real it's not like she's done it not like she's done a 20-man game bang sometime and before you or anything like that just don't judge her for it or judge him for it look to look for any interests or ideals you both share that could lead to a compromise. Remember, relationships, assessor relationship is full of compromise. Just ask anyone that's been married 40, 50 plus years if you can still find them.
It's going to be a compromise. Three, think about changing parts of your fantasy so they might work for both of you. Maybe you just want to swing swap the couple because, you know, she don't want to be left out.
He don't want to be left out so swapping with a male female couple it would be a good thing maybe that'd be a good compromise for you all right so sometimes you might realize that some fantasies are best kept as fantasies not all ideals need to be acted out and that's perfectly fine trust me i know the goal of this is to find a balance that keeps your relationship strong while also respecting each other wishes i would love to have a cream pie gangbang but you know the reality is the diseases that are out there all the stuff that out there it's not going to happen so it's just better to be real a fantasy for of mine that's one of my fantasies is to have a have a girl that wants to get gang game bane and all the guys come, come inside of her and all that.
So, but it's just not going to happen because of the reality of it. So if you decide to try out a fantasy, make sure everything is agreed upon by which, by both of you and that you both feel comfortable and secure. This might involve taking small steps towards your fantasy or finding the completely new activity that you both enjoy. Keeping trust and feeling safe in a relationship is very important, especially when talking about personal fantasies. It's normal to worry about how your partner might react, but trust grows when you're honest and open to each other.
To make sure both of you feel secure and valued, try doing the following. One, talk about your limits and make sure you both always agree all right condoms yes or no uh kissing yes or no anal yes or no things like that what are your limits piss scat what all kinds of stuff bdsm bondage stuff like that two often check how each other feels about things what does does she like? What does he like? How does he feel about it? How does he feel about me going off by myself and playing with another guy or a couple or vice versa? Three, keep showing that you care about each other's happiness.
Trust isn't just about telling the truth to your partner. It's also about being truthful with yourself. Know your own boundaries and talk about them clearly. This way, you build a strong base of trust that lets both of you explore your interests without fearing or being judged or misunderstood. So dealing with feelings like jealousy and being insecure often comes from deeper emotional issues. It's really important to figure out why you are or your partner might be feeling this way. Understanding why these feelings happen can help you handle them better and make your relationship stronger.
Maybe you feel like your partner is going to leave you, which is a legit concern because it does happen in the lifestyle. I'm not going to lie to you guys. You know, other couple, other podcasters will lie. I'm not. It does happen. I have receipts of when it does happen. So you got to be very careful. So you got to have a strong relationship to open your bed to another person, to another couple at least. So why are these feelings happy? One, and you got internal reasons. These might include feeling bad about ourselves, negative experiences in the past, or being scared of losing someone.
You got to think about it. Listen, as much as we want to think that we're all very open-minded and society's more open-minded, there is still that feeling of, I'm a slut. Some women have that feeling that, oh, I'm slutty. I look slutty, stuff like that.
They haven't gotten over it, especially the younger especially younger gals you know the younger cats have that feeling more than someone in their 40s or 50s says you know what fuck it i don't give a shit anymore i'm gonna fucking do what i want to do they lived the life you know they were the good wife or whatever things like that happen same thing with guys oh am i a cuckold because some of our dude fucks my girl am i a loser because someone else fucks my girl? Some of those things might have bad feelings and might make you feel bad about yourselves. They might be negative.
What about negative experiences? You have a couple swap and the other guy couldn't get hard and your wife's sitting there, you know, fucking looking around like, what am I going to do? I can't do this. I'm fucking sitting here and I got nothing. I got no dick. I got no fucking anything. So that negative experience or the guys were too creepy. The guys were too aggressive. Things like that could be negative experiences. Now let's look at the external reasons, which are things outside of us, like feeling threatened by someone else. I see a lot of guys.
I was at a gang bang on Friday, this past Friday, and the guys were talking about if a condom falls off we're gonna beat your ass i'm like are you fucking seriously you're gonna fucking start a fight listen as much as you badasses you want to thank you are all the guys that think that i know guys always think they're badasses if you lay hands on another human being you can in some states you can kill someone just look at what happened in indianapolis with that guy just banged on the guy's door and blew his fucking head off why do you want to bring that shit why would you as a club owner tell me club owners why would you want people who are violent in your club because guess what who's going to come when there's violence the police and you want police on on your radar because you know what as much as society you think society's open to this shit they're still not open to it they still will shut your ass down if they feel like it becomes a problem all right so you know what try not to threaten anyone you know you might go a single guy might go and he's not a good looking dude so you know guess what he's labeled creepy because that's what it is if a woman thinks a guy's ugly you'll know if a woman thinks you're good looking if she labels you as a creepy looking dude you're ugly to her she has nothing interested but if you're okay you're good looking you're not gonna ever be called creepy and that's the way it is so maybe you're feeling threatened by someone else maybe a couple you look creepy you're not the best looking dude you're fat or whatever you're chubby and things like that you come out and a girl and a couple you say hello she thinks you're ugly so you're a creep maybe and they say something to you about being creepy don't be creepy maybe they and they threaten you some way whatever you don't want to go back comparing yourselves to others that's one thing that happens a lot a lot of these dudes come out they fucking fit you got 56 year olds looking like they're 20 years old now because they're on trt they're acting like they're badasses because they I'll see you next time.
to others that's one thing that happens a lot a lot of these dudes come out they fucking fit you got 56 year olds looking like they're 20 years old now because they're on trt they're acting like they're badasses because they take fucking stir testosterone and shit like that all right great you do that but dude stocking don't compare yourselves to other people because you're only one of one of a million all right just because you got a good body you've got to make sure you know what single dudes to do?
Make sure you're fucking, you can fuck great and you can eat pussy great and you will have no problem. It don't matter how you are because word's going to get around that. You're going to fucking bring the big O to that lady all the time and they're going to like it, all right? Don't compare yourselves to others because, you know what, I can't compete with someone who's 6'5 or 6' tall. I'm 5'8, man. I can't compete with that. But you know what I can compete with?
I can go up against any guy any guy eat a girl's pussy i bet you i'm a better pussy eater but i'm not i can't compare myself to like oh i gotta work out more i gotta do this more you know i can't do it so another thing external reason issues in how the relationship works how good is your relationship you know a lot of people remember if you're trying to fix your relationship, do not swing, do not get into it because it will not end well. You will get divorced anyways. It's kind of like going to couples therapy. You're going to get divorced anyway. So by the way, just stop it.
You know, how many people come out of couples therapy better? Not a lot, but how many couples go to couples therapy and get divorced? A lot of them. Just like with swinging. If your relationship is good, you're going to be a good swingers. If your relationship is bad, swing is going to fucking end it. So stop it. Don't, you know, don't do anything stupid like that. So you have internal external reasons. Understanding these feelings isn't about blaming anyone. It's about getting to know yourself better. This can help you grow, heal, and grow yourself and your relationship. Great.
All that sounds great. All right. So you're paying attention still?
still all right so making your partner feel safe and committed this is going to be a tough one for a lot of you because you guys start thinking with your dick and you don't think with anything else that's why i say lady that's why i always tell gentlemen your wife is the most important if she has a great time so if your wife when you go to a club and you're swinging and she wants to do something that you might not want to do you better talk about it because guess what there's other guys that are willing to do it for your wife and she could find it anywhere i see you on tinder ladies i see you on tinder i got you i know you're out there your husband don't you don't want to play with single males but you're out there On your Tinder profile Looking for an extra dick On the side I see you Don't worry about Don't be afraid To tell your husband Listen I like that guy Oh so what is he saying I'm going to fuck him You can come and watch Or you can sit back here And wait I'm going to go fuck him He ain't going to be able To do shit Because guess what You run the show Women You run the show This is one of the few things women can literally say they actually run.
Swinging is one of them. Swinging, you run. Ladies, you run the show. Fucking stand up for yourself. Talk about what you want. You want to get gang banged by 20 guys. You tell your husband if he don't want it, then say, you know what? Fuck you. I'll find someone that will. And you know what? His ass will change. So all that.
And listen, we're not all creepy seeing them in remember that so making your partner feel safe and committed when you talk about fantasies make sure your partner knows these are just ideals not demands do not say i need to have a threesome i need to couple swap i need to do this i need to do that just say this is just an idea maybe when we go out of town we're going to disney world maybe we go to a club and we know we explore a little bit this can make them feel more secure about where they stand in the relationship here's what you can do well you can tell your partner your you respect their feelings and limits maybe your wife doesn't want you to add a woman who is good looking or young maybe she wants maybe she'll be okay with someone in her forties and fifties.
You never know. Who knows? Be open about why you have certain fantasies. Why do you want to have two girls fantasies? Everyone can say, cause you got two pussies. Two pussies are better than one guys, right? Ask how you feel about your fantasies and really listen to what they say. Sometimes your partner might need space to think and that's okay. You don't need an answer right now. Like I said early before, you suggesting it is the seed. Time is the water and within time that seed will grow. So either it should be down for it or he'll be down for it or they don't, might not be.
You just need time. So the goal is to make your partner feel loved and include, not left out or pushed into something. So many times I see so many couples that are pushed into swinging. It's just sad that they, you know, that that's what happens. You know that's what's going on.
And it's just sad that that's what happens because it's going to really destroy that that marriage that relationship uh i can i know okay anyways hold on all right so when might it be time for professional help this is This is going to get tough sometimes dealing with relationship issues might need a bit more help realizing you need help shows strength if jealousy or insecurity is really hurting your relationship getting professional advice might be a good idea, especially if you're always worried your partner isn't loyal, you can't trust your partner, or you always feel bad about yourself because of these issues.
Now, if you need a therapist, there are therapists out there that do specialize in couples that are in the swinging lifestyle. You can Google them, swinger, therapist, stuff like that. SDC has a couple of them that I see pop up from now and then. So there are people that Thank you.
google them uh you know swinger therapist stuff like that there's uh sdc has a couple of them uh that i see pop up from now now and then so there are people that do things like this for the lifestyle so you can get help professional help in the lifestyle uh with some counseling so getting help doesn't mean you failed it's a positive step towards a healthier relationship if you're not sure if you need help these signs might mean it's time to consider it talking about dreams and wishes with your partner after you and your partner talk about the dreams and wishes you both have take some time to think about how it went this thinking this thinking time helps you understand how you feel and what your partner thinks, too.
Even if your partner's reaction is happy, sad, or mixed, you can learn from it. Being open and honest helps your relationship get stronger. Here are some things you can do after sharing. Be proud that you were brave enough to share something really personal. Telling your husband that you want to get fucked by a bunch of dudes, that's very brave. Telling your girl you want to fuck another woman, that's even more braver. Because some fucking women will cut your fucking dick off or cut your fucking nuts off or just fucking kill you. Oh, Russ, yes, I can see. All right. So, you know, you got that.
So you got to be very careful, you know you got that so you got to be very careful you know some or some you know people are not as really open as we think we might be think about what your partner said and how both you feel about it talk about how new things how many new things you learned hey i didn't know my wife was into fucking doing a bunch of dudes or into women i didn't know she was bisexual and all that if she went to college she probably had some bisexual tendencies then so you never know you can also make plans on how to use what you learn to make your relationship better how does she want to fuck a bunch of dudes or do you want to fuck a bunch of you know women and all that i don't know it's one of those things that can you know happen so you know it's just crazy that this stuff needs to be talked about sometimes but you know what we all got to think about what we want in you know in our life and all that so anyways so mixing new ideals into being together once we talked about your dreams and wishes try adding those new ideals into being together like when you hug and kiss if you want help now how to do this you can talk to someone who knows a lot about relationships and being close start by talking about parts of sharing dreams you both liked or fantasies you both like slowly add little bits of your dreams into your together your time together and see how it feels i always recommend just going to a club and watching people fuck don't go in there thinking that you're gonna fuck anybody else just go in there you know what we're gonna watch see what happens because you gotta go to on-premise club though because there are off-premises still so go to an on-premise club and watch people have sex and you know have fun go to a nudist resort you can find a lot of people there who will watch you watch and you get to see naked people so slowly turn new things in that you both are excited to do all right remember to take time and keep talking a lot be patient and talking will help you get closer and learn more about what it makes you both happy time will heal everything time will make everything better do not have to you do not have to do everything at once i can't stand when these couples come into the resorts or the clubs and if they're new and they want to do everything right then and there there's no patience you got to have patience if you're going to burn yourself out you're going to get swinger burn you know you're going to get tired because you see couples there they go to the club every fucking weekend every weekend they're there and all of a sudden after you know a couple months six months go by you never see them again because they get swinger burnout because they want to do everything then and there.
Or, you know what? Maybe they just had, I don't know. Maybe they just didn't have time. They just, we only have four months left. So let's do it. I don't know. So keep talking after sharing your fantasies, sharing big fantasies with your partner is just the start. Keep talking and be kind when you reply to each other's deep thoughts, keep the conversation going like this. Think about the sharing time together and talk about any feelings. Talk about which parts of the fantasies you might try or change. Regularly ask how each other feels and see if you're both okay.
The most important thing is not to do every fantasy, but to feel closer and trust each other by sharing your deepest thoughts and being honest. All right? So have it there's how you can talk to your fan talk to your significant other your spouse uh about your fantasies that you are having fantasies that you are craving i know some of us you know crave a little more than others but still it's, guys. You still can get this stuff happening. So anyways, that was for, that is one thing I want to talk about. The second thing I want to talk about, which I'm going to have to find, hold on one second.
All right, so more drama from Caliente.
Well, it's probably not drama, but it's just funny i saw this long ass rant um i think it was sunday yesterday today's monday so i saw this long ass rant uh on facebook i'm a member of the caliente facebook group and all that stuff so one guy writes and now i know this person personally i've been there i worked there i saw them when i was a member there so i know these guys personally i don't know like they're not friends they're just people i've seen at this place but i thought it was kind of funny that they would write this so they write a little rant here we had fun last night besides a couple bumps in the road let Let's talk about respecting etiquette.
I think he spelled etiquette wrong, but okay. Number one, whether it's my wife or any girl or guy for that fact that is dancing in a club, do not just jump in and start dancing with them. Ask first. I would think it is just an obvious thing. Two, definitely don't touch them without asking. Normally, this would have ended up really, really bad. I personally practiced patience big time on my part last night. I don't tolerate guys touching my wife. Common sense would be for anyone to ask before touching.
We have our ways, you have yours, but I don't feel like going to jail last night or getting kicked out or banned out of respect for my wife who enjoys the nudity in girls if that happens. It's a little escape for us from reality and I don't want to lose that. Keep your hands to yourself and find out people's ways first. That's all capitalized. Respect the ways others are in the lifestyle.
three just because your girl or wife comes up and asks my girl to dance or any girl in that matter it does not warrant permission for you to dance with them especially someone else's wife if you don't know their ways sit back and let them have their fun and fun or just say you don't want them dancing together if your don't want to ask their their ways speak up and just say something and save the awkwardness non-judgmental right so shouldn't matter if you say please don't dance with her i think if you feel you want to dance with them and maybe ask and save a lot of trouble.
Find out their ways before engaging. My answer will always be no to a guy, so please don't waste your time. You don't need no why or reasoning. It's none of your business, nor is your ways my business. I will accept your ways without question. I expect the same. This is supposed to be a non-judgmental i was extremely disappointed i was extremely disappointed in some of the male's behavior last evening thank you to the ones who were respectful and polite and to a few guys that offered me a shot while the ladies were dancing thank you you very much.
But I was driving, so I was just having water last night. But anytime we're staying or have time to let it wear off, I would love to. Just because people are there does not mean they want to have sex with whoever or maybe not even at all. Think before you act. That is all. Thanks. Don't take offense if you're a respectful person. All right. Now I take offense because I don't take offense. I don't really give a fuck. I know these people. Like I said, I do. I've seen them around Caliente millions of times before. And they're just, to me, they're not into single dudes.
They're not into guys at all. Even couples.
He only wants his girl to his girl to fuck other women they are he's very rude this couple's very rude to everybody to men as long if you're good-looking women they will not be rude to you they'll be very happy to you but you know that's just my personal feeling i thought it was kind of funny coming from this guy and all that and you see it you see it in his house in his tone how bad he how bad he really hates guys because if you're a guy don't ask my wife to dance it's our autumn no because they're not into it like i said i just like i said i don't like this couple they're you know very rude to single men like i'm a pariah i am an advocate for single males in this lifestyle i'm gonna stick up for single this lifestyle.
So let's look at number one. Whether it's my wife or any girl or guy for that fact dance in the club, do not just jump in and start dancing with them. Okay, yeah, that's smart. You probably want to ask, but you know what? Have you ever been to a swingers club? Have you ever been to a news store when people are dancing? People are dancing all around, and, you know, they're dancing either by themselves or with couples. You know what happens?
They see a beautiful person person they're dancing they just start dancing with that person next to them no big deal what's it's fucking dancing it's not fucking sex you are this dude is equating dancing to sex and that's why his i don't stand i can't stand couples like this and it's american thing it's just dancing you don't have to get all upset because some girl walked up to your girl and started dancing I'm telling you right now the girl was ugly they didn't like the girl so now that's what's the problem like I said if a woman finds you attractive you are not creepy you're not nothing you can do whatever you want to do I mean let's be honest people you can do whatever you want to do right but if the girl finds you unattractive then you're fucked because you're creepy you're ugly you're whatever they don't want to have nothing to do with you and all that stuff so he's getting upset because couples were dancing and they would dance try to dance with her that's how swinging if you go to caliente you go to secrets you go to any swinger club that's how it usually is people are dancing little, you know, in a group and all that.
They're having fun. And maybe they see your wife's dancing by yourself. Oh, let's join her. Let's join her in because she's beautiful and whatnot. The wife ain't that good looking. She's decent looking. She's average looking, but she ain't that good looking. All right. So yeah, you should ask first before you go dance with someone, but that's not how it usually works for at a club. You know, people are just dancing. If you're a man, you should always ask first because, you know, that's what. But with women, women are just fucking having fun and having a good time.
They love to dance, so just dance. Two, definitely don't touch them without asking. Okay, that's smart. All right? I would agree with that. Normally, this would be what had ended up really, really bad. See, this is the problem with this guy. He's fucking violent. Like I told you, you don't want to bring violence. If you are a violent person, stay away from swinging and swinging lifestyle because you're just fucking bringing that bad shit to the people. All right? You bring bad mojo. And all that.
So you just just gotta be very careful all right all right so like i said don't fucking violence is not the way to go sorry everybody got you know crisis at home uh we have our ways of yours but i don't feel like going to jail okay yadda uh his wife loves it keep your hands to yourself and find out other people's yeah i agree with that that's what i agree with you should ask before you touch anybody man or woman women like i said women have that that tendency to just assume that okay it's another woman i could touch her and all that but no three just because your girl or wife comes up and asks my girl to dance or any girl for that matter does not warrant permission for you to dance with them especially someone else's wife I don't understand.
Like I said, I don't understand this rant and all that.
But like I said, I've seen this couple here before, and I know they're just painting the asses they don't like men at all he's just looking he's got they've got small dick energy they're just looking for girls for her to fuck around and do shit with and that's fine if that's your thing but don't get pissed off when shit don't go your way all right now uh let's see what else uh if you don't know their ways just sit back and let them have their fun how are you not going to find their way fucking ask what's wrong with asking people it's like it's i don't understand is it upsetting to him or this couple that someone a guy would dare ask you know your wife is so beautiful they would dare ask to you know dance with them remember it's just dancing and all that it's nothing else and i was surprised because a lot of people a lot of people agreed with it and they were saying stuff like yeah you're right but then there were a lot of people that said dude it's just dancing chill the fuck out and which i agree with because you know what i always say chill the fuck out you know it's just dancing and i don't know what the hell is going on but you know whatever it is it is what it is and if you ever going to Caliente.
Caliente is a really great place.
I mean I'll never see going on but you know whatever it is it is what it is and if you ever go to caliente caliente is a really great place i mean i don't ever see any problems you know with that with the place and all that but you know what uh it's just weird that you would say something that you have a big rant about this but like i said i know the guy they don't like guys at all they don't like guys even in the couple's situation you know they always looking for the girl they don't want the wife to touch another dude small dick energy like i said and and you know i was surprised it's coming to count some of the comments i agree with touching part but dancing come on i think there's uh underlying issues here but just my opinion i'm not a big dancer so i let my wife dance with whoever yeah who cares dancing is not sex guys dude i don't know why anyone could touch my wife some guy said well let's see some wife dance with whoever yeah who gives a dancing is not sex guys dude i don't know why anyone can touch my wife some guy said oh let's see do do do some guy he goes off let's see this guy move forward three hours and these people are having sex with people they just met most with the very little regard for stds and so i have seen it way too many times so on so on too many of the numbers i don't understand this guy uh you know he responds to a lot of them but we usually keep ourselves and do our thing yeah right as long as the girl there's a pussy involved you'll fuck it he even admits uh i can't dance for crap so a couple girls and and her were dancing the husbands were just chilling no issues letting the girls have fun well similar you know what i'm not one of those guys who's going to have fun.
I want to have fun too. It's going to happen. And this message is not meant for anyone who does not get out of hand. Alright. Okay. Whatever. I have to say, line up, dude. It's just a dance. You're right. By no means no. I agree. Sad that this has to be said. Hope you next time better i don't know okay i don't want to be asked to be touched or asked if my husband can be touched kind of ruins the mood we are adults and could say no thank you if not interested so okay she don't want to be asked okay so just touch her and she says no she says no cool for a good for her you know i'd like.
I kind of like that attitude, you know, because they don't want I don't want to be asked to be touched or asked if my husband can be touched. Kind of ruins the mood. You know, kind of kind of agree with that. Touching is absolutely agree. But just basically respecting. But dancing with her, biting up, man, you are wound wound up too tight. And let's see, he responds.
But it's pretty much every time every time they try to touch so yeah because it's dancing you're gonna touch uh let's see i guess but you went on a bit of a rant there unfortunately these things do happen without any disrespect intended all right but haven't been the kylie in years do people still fucking the day beds upstairs yes they still do it seems a bit aggressive i'd say if you are feeling this sort of potential anger in this situation you'd be better off letting her dance it out in more vanilla setting respect is one thing and i totally agree with touching should never be as soon uh but it sounds like you may be uh trying to have your cake and eat it too if she is at a known is resort lifestyle resort dancing naked where single guys are allowed she will be approached my advice is to try to find a better way to handle it without feeling the need to be aggressive and he responds it's only aggressive is it's only aggressive is only because the person who was told more than once two different times that night okay i definitely command you for keeping peace all right so that's a good point this guy makes a good point if you're having problems with your wife being naked and dancing on the dance floor and guys and gals coming up to you maybe even that maybe the lifestyle resort is not for you maybe you should go to a regular club where she can go dance she could find girls to fuck there too because you know what girls get drunk and they want to go home and they want to fuck all right so that's possibility too so you know what don't worry but don't be this dude don't be this angry dude here that can't handle men and women hitting on his girl if your wife is good you're gonna get hit on just enjoy the fact that your wife is good looking because trust me guess what's gonna happen that wife who's's in her 30s now which she i think she is she's in her 30s is going to be 50 years old and guess what no one's going to hit on her and you're going to be fucking there crying about bitching about there's no one at the club that wants to hang out just my two cents hate it love it i don't give a shit you know shave your cock and balls guys you know and have fun uh i'm not gonna be fucking sugarcoating anything uh and all that for you like i said this is an honest discussion i'm an advocate for single men just because you have a problem with single men don't mean all single men are bad and all that because guess what gentlemen in the couples you're one bad decision away from being a single dude in this lifestyle and i see you guys when you come to work in Houston I'm here I got a hall pass I doubt you have a hall pass but anyways I have a hall pass I'm looking for couples and single women now that you're single enjoy and how many times that works out for you that you're a single guy when you're out of town don't work too easy does it so you know what be cool don't be aggressive if you have anger issues stay the fuck out of this lifestyle figure out your anger issues like this dude has to figure out his and you'll be fine all right so that's going to be it for today i'm going to get on out of here because you know i've been talking for over 50 minutes so that's how i usually want to get out of here.
So anyways, I hope you had a great day. Hope you enjoy this little thing about my little fantasies, how to talk to your wife and your spouse, your husband about your fantasies. And, you know, don't be an asshole when you go to Caliente. Just have fun. Enjoy. People are going to like your wife. They're going to ask your wife. They're going to try to touch your wife. So don't worry about it. Just say no. If they don't do it, go to security. Anyways, have a great day, everybody. Keep everybody keep on swinging gentlemen shave those cock and balls We'll be right back.
Oh, baby, I'm a holly, tell you, Joe, go closer. Will you put me in a sense, come over? I can barely keep all my composure. I can't play no games, can't keep my focus. Yeah, did you notice? I wanna be the devil.
