Introducing the Swinging Single Podcast with Host AC Maxwell! AC takes us on a journey to Caltient Resort in Land O' Lakes, Florida, where he shares his insights on the luxurious and captivating retreat.As you arrive at Caltient Resort, you'll be greeted by the serene beauty of nature. The lush landscaping and pristine gardens create a tranquil ambiance, perfect for relaxing and enjoying a peaceful getaway.Inside, the resort exudes elegance and sophistication. The spacious rooms are adorned with plush furnishings and modern amenities, ensuring a comfortable and pampered stay. From plush beds to state-of-the-art entertainment systems, every detail has been thoughtfully designed to cater to your every need.But more than just a place to stay, Caltient Resort offers a wealth of activities and entertainment options. From championship golf courses to rejuvenating spa treatments, there's something to suit every taste and interest.AC highlights the resort's exquisite dining options, where guests can enjoy mouthwatering culinary creations made with fresh, locally sourced ingredients. From fine dining to casual poolside fare, the resort's restaurants provide the backdrop for memorable dining experiences.In addition to its luxurious amenities, Caltient Resort also prioritizes sustainability and eco-friendliness. The resort has implemented various green initiatives to reduce its environmental footprint, ensuring that its guests can enjoy a guilt-free stay.Whether you're seeking a romantic retreat or a fun-filled family vacation, Caltient Resort offers an unforgettable experience. With its stunning landscapes, impeccable service, and endless activities, it's the ideal destination for those seeking relaxation and rejuvenation.So, pack your bags and get ready for a swinging single adventure with AC Maxwell. Visit Caltient Resort in Land O' Lakes, Florida, and discover that elusive blend of luxury and tranquility that you've been longing for.
Transcript
welcome to the swinging single podcast a platform for sharing the unique perspectives of ac maxwell as your host i will take you on a personal journey through the ups and downs of my years as a swinging single male please note that while my experiences will undoubtedly provide you a viable insights it is essential to understand that these are my views not yours and they might not align ladies and gentlemen so with that we're going to talk about the summertime summertime yeah we're going to talk about sunbathing suntan lotion nudity and fucking of course this is about swinging so we're going to talk about caliente club resort in the great state of florida and andando lakes florida we're going to talk about that i'm going to give you my honest review of it and tell you about little stories of my time as a member and as a worker there so sit back relax get your bottle of lube and let's talk about juliette juliette take it away for us please The Swinging Single podcast with host A.C.
Maxwell it away for us, please. and any featured guests or contributors, and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, or partners. The information presented on the podcast is not professional advice and should not be treated as such. Listeners are advised not to rely on the content of the podcast as an alternative to advice from appropriately qualified professionals. If specific expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Listening to the podcast does not create any kind of professional relationship between the listener and A.C. Maxwell or any guest appearing on the podcast. Any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract, engagement, or formal advice.
The host, contributors, affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, and partners of the podcast shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages resulting from the use of, or inability to use, the information in the podcast or from any decisions made based on such information the content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Unauthorized use of the podcast's content, including but not limited to reproduction, broadcast, or alteration, may violate these laws and could result in legal action.
By continuing to listen to the podcast, you agree to be bound by the then-current version of this disclaimer. Any questions or concerns regarding this disclaimer, please contact us at Swinging Single Eggmail. Come by listening to the Swinging Single podcast. You acknowledge that you have read and understand this disclaimer and agree to its terms.
Shave your cock and balls, balls gentlemen all right let's get to it follow me on all the social medias if you're listening watching me and listening on my live stream it's going down there's that little bullet points going up and going through just like a ticker all right and if you're not go on twitter facebook instagram uh tiktok i think also all those great things it's a swinging single podcast and all that so you can find me there all right so let's get talking about caliente man i'm gonna tell you caliente is one of the hottest most luxurious swingers resort i call it swingers work because i think it should go to full swinger but hey it's a lifestyle resort so nudists and swingers are both welcome but as me ac i'm a swinger so i love the place because after dark the naughtiness comes out so what is caliente resort well caliente resort and spa is located in beautiful land of lakes florida it's only about 0.3 miles distance from state route 41 if you're going up state route 41 and hitting land of lakes you're going to see it it's gonna have a big ass sign caliente no we're not talking about hot we're talking about caliente the resort this relaxed and friendly clothing optional resort is all about having a good time did you hear that ladies and gentlemen it is clothing optional it is not required for you to go butt ass naked so if you want to wear clothes wear them look at the beautiful sexy ass bodies all women's bodies are great even the big bbws and the small little petite ones with no asses they're all great and beautiful men nice you get to see ladies you get to see how big their cock is so there's no guessing no pulling down the pants and going what the fuck is this micro penis what the fuck is this it's 12 inches it's gonna kill me anyways so it is clothing optional but i guarantee ladies and gentlemen that within the first 15 minutes you will be butt ass naked or running around topless at least for you ladies this resort has a range of accommodations to suit your needs and group sizes so if you want to go with a big group you can including simple rooms cottages spacious one to two bedroom condos large three bedroom villas and even a full houses yes if you have the money you have the cash you can also buy your own condo you can buy your own house at the luxurious caliente club resort now if you grandkids, it might be hard for them to visit you.
You don't know if you want your grandkids seeing a bunch of old, saggy-ass balls while swinging around. Because a lot of people do go naked there. And they walk around. Everything is naked. You can do everything naked. Eat naked. Sleep naked. Babe naked. Do all that stuff naked. You know?
So the basic rooms are comfy and come equipped with televisions offering satellite channels which is always good but you know what why are you sitting in your room you should be out enjoying the nudity the sun the fun and also at night you should be enjoying the freak on in the hot tubs and all that so come with television satellite channels screened in porches or ground level patios for some fresh air and mirrors with lights above the beds giving a stylish touch come on now we all know why we got those mirrors over the bed so you can take pictures of yourself naked or you can have this you and your wife's giving you a blowy you just sit there and uh take a photo of it and stuff a video of it and you start fucking you can take videos of it it's a great fucking thing the beds the mirrors over the beds were a great addition for caliente if you opt for one of the other types of accommodations like the cottages or condos you'll get the added benefit of a fully equipped kitchen select places also feature luxurious whirlpool tubs warming fireplaces and a private patio is outfitted with hot tubs for the extra touch of relaxation.
If you go to Caliente, ladies and gentlemen, guess what? You never, ever have to really leave the resort. If you want to leave, you can go. But if you don't want to leave, you don't have to go because it's a great place. You've got your food. You've got your drinks.
You you got everything you need to get there or what you need to survive there all right so if you go there remember don't worry about packing everything because guess what a lot of stuff is there before enjoying the facilities guests are required to purchase a membership which may which can be done on a daily basis if not staying for long i was a member i got a member there as a single guy and it's a lot of money for a single guy but it was worth it if you're just going there for a day for a couple it's like 50 bucks something like that i don't know i haven't been there in two years since i moved away from there so i don't know what the prices are going today all right the resort is packed with amenities designed to make everyday fun and relaxing there are seven different pools and hot tubs.
All right. There's a, I think one, two, three, there's three good size pool. Then there's a hot tub up in a observation deck along with a smaller, uh, tub that's called the conversation pool.
And it's a little long, it's thin and long and all that you know kind of like my cock anyways so you have those options so you can swim and soak according to whatever your mood is so if you want to the conversation pool in the hot tub is that's where a lot of people get a little freaky they want to start fucking later on or man i don't know maybe they sneak in a fuck uh when the guards are not looking or anything like that anyways remember no sex during the day only sex when the sun goes down kind of like that when it comes to dining there are two laid-back restaurants that you can go to and i thought i put this on mute but i guess i didn't well let me do that now do everything there we go all right anyways so there are two restaurants that are to satisfy your hunger for relaxation entertainment the resort does not disappoint it will never disappoint you if you go to caliente and you have a shitty time that's on you you're there you're the shit person not the resort because there are so many people there from all different places of the country and even parts of the world that you can, whatever flavor you have of ice cream, you got that flavor there.
Treat yourself to some pampering at the spa, dancing out of the way at the nightclub, or engage in one of the many activities. These activities include yoga classes to stretch and strengthen your body.
I wonder what else want to stretch karaoke sessions where you can show off your singing skills happy hours for enjoying drinks and vibrant poolside parties that bring everyone together the poolside parties are great loud too loud for me but you know it is what it is now the resort is the perfect blend of relaxing fun and welcoming atmosphere making the visit unforgettable it will be unforgettable you will want to go back there at least a bunch of times before you'd never go back there but this is the problem with the caliente i don't lie to you i'm not going to give you a bullshit they're not paying me but i'm going to tell them they are overpriced they do overcharge you for a lot of things the food the drinks and everything all right you're going to expect that because you got everything in one area you got everything you need it is not going to be cheap so if you can't afford it just get a place off site like an airbnb and just go there for the day and you can stay 24 hours usually they don't really make a big fuss about it it or anything like that.
At least I haven't seen it when I, even when I was working there, wait a minute, I had to make a big deal out of it or whatnot. All right. So with everything you need, you need security. Security is important because it is a swing or resort.
People are having sex or going to have sex or probably going to have sex so you got to make sure these people stay out that are not wanted no i'm not talking about single guys no you little suckers i'm not i'm talking about just everyday normal people that think you know will go there and do something stupid who knows what they do when it comes to feeling secure the resort has you covered security staff are always present providing a sense of protection that is comforting We'll be right back.
there and do something stupid who knows what they do when it comes to feeling secure the resort has you covered security staff are always present providing a sense of protection that is comforting arriving at the resort is a breeze you just drive up to the entrance gates tell the friendly security guard who you are and they'll greet you with a welcome welcoming hello all right when you go up there remember have your id everybody has to have their id any anyone is in the car has to have their id so get those together if you are if you are staying in the night you probably will be told to go to the main building to check in if you are staying a day they'll probably take your id and they will take your credit card for payment i think they run your id to make sure you're not a sex pervert or anything like that so they have banned people they have stopped people from coming and they'll stop you so i really think the security there is top notch now some of the dudes there that work there i don't know about you know that's whatever so after after you simply head over after After that, you're just to simply head over to the main building if you're checking in all right to check yourself in also the security team is constantly on patrol so you will see them all day all night roaming around going about especially at night and stuff like that uh and all that you'll spot them around regularly especially in the clubs especially when it starts getting uh more later on in the night people start getting more intoxicated and you know they might do a little touchy touchy there they're not supposed to do they don't allow fucking in the club guys they don't so keep your uh penises and your vaginas safely fastened to yourselves but they're keeping an eye on things by the pools and other areas.
once you go to at night let's say it's nights 10 p.m at night you're in a hot tub you're in a conversation pool you could do whatever you want you know you could fuck you could do oral you swap you can do gang bangs or whatever you want to do guys you don't have to worry about they're not going to stop you those are the areas that are permitted all right ac myself i have gotten away with going down the cabana beds all the time and fucking and doing all that stuff and they would never say anything to you sometimes i don't even think they could see you because it's so damn dark there i don't think they could see you on the beds or anything like that especially if you're not moaning or anything so they're keeping an eye on everything just to keep everyone safe this continuous presence helps most guests feel you know really safe you feel safe because you see these gentlemen and ladies there and all that protecting you and making sure your stay at caliente resort is awesome now listen the grounds you got grounds there that are beautiful just like a lot of things in florida not only the women are beautiful in florida but the grounds at caliente is very beautiful they keep those grounds looking fresh if you ever see the girls the ladies that and gentlemen that do it thank them because they really do a great job of keeping those grounds together the resort grounds feel like a little town of their own it's like one of those you know they talk about those 15 minute towns where everything is 15 minutes away from you so where you live you don't have to go anywhere 15 that's what caliente is all right as you drive around you'll see a mix of housing options condos you got single wide trailers they call casietas or whatever i don't know how to fucking say it even though i worked i don't even know how to say it even larger single family homes all right there used to be a show called uh selling naked selling nudity or whatever it was it was on tlc 2010 2010 2009 i don't remember but it was basically a lady was selling um the homes in that resort to people and they talk about the nudity and all that check it out you might see it the entire place is like a community built around a central clubhouse that clubhouse is awesome too the property is well maintained with beautiful tennis courts if you love tennis they got tennis courts you could play at night places to play pickleball a lot of pickleballs going on a lot of people doing it more and more and you got trails to stroll on i've never been on the trail so i can't really tell you if there are any beautiful or not but all this you could play tennis you can play pickleball all nude if you want to like i said this is a clothing option resort you can walk around the goddamn place naked if you want it don't matter everyone's free ball it whatever you want to do all right so remember that everything is neat and tidy it's clean it's never i don't see dirties dirty stuff around like some resorts i'll see dirty stains around like use condoms use burger bags stuff like that but you don't see that now like a saturday night you'll see a lot of people leave their drinks around laying around by sunday morning that shit's all clean out it's all good all right so everything's neat and nice and tidy which adds to the present atmosphere it's always cream they're always having people clean up after after everybody all right so you're drinking having a great time what do you do you go home while you're staying at the resort you don't have to walk home they have shuttle service for you which is great especially because some of these people are so hammered they can't walk or they don't know can't remember where the hell they're staying at so if your room is a bit far away from the main action which is the clubhouse or you just don't fancy walking because i don't know you're lazy maybe the resort offers a super convenient shuttle service all right you just got a call all right all right so all you got to do is call the front desk and say hey i need a shuttle all right these shuttles are not what you would think a shuttle is it's not a van it is just a golf cart you know one of those big golf carts multi-person golf carts that are there all right if you need a lift just give the front desk a ring and one will zip right over to pick you up at any hour day or night this service is handy because it lets you enjoy the time by the pool so you can drink and drive or i'm sorry you can drink all you want even though i do not condone you drinking all you want because i think sometimes drinking a little bit is a lot better than drinking a lot all right so stop drinking all the time let's see okay all on okay anyways so let's see what else we got uh anything so you know you call these people up you take them back to your hotel room your house or whatever take a quick nap pop back out for some dinner get ready for the evening festivities and do it all over again the shuttle is great perk to have it's awesome to have for there all right the food now the food overpriced i'm going to tell you it's overpriced not worth the quality but hey you're there you're there for convenience it's not a price for quality it's convenience based all right so talk about food you'll find a variety of options but it is true that some of it might feel a bit too pricey there are different places to eat within the resort from the epscale dining area to the relaxed sports bar all the meals you would have surprisingly the pizza might be the tastiest everyone goes there eats the pizza they love it i don't know what the hell they talking about me i don't think it's any that great i was like hey whatever but it's just pizza to me but it's not the great the best thing i probably had was the steak of all the meals you could have surprisingly the pizza might just be the taste it's even better than what you expect from a price of your steak and the first meal of the day breakfast is also pretty good you can also start your day off right the breakfast is pretty good it's fucking big man if you don't eat a lot just order for order one of them and share it with somebody because it is a lot of food they give you now let's talk to the nitty-gritty let's talk about the pools the pools the resort is spotless and well maintained as you know you won't see any litter laying around only like at 2 a.m on a saturday night at the party because everyone's getting drunk and having party and having drinks by the pool there's no need to worry about finding a spot to relax either because there are plenty of chairs available for everyone all right as the resort gets bigger and bigger more popular there's going to be a problem with that but right now you can get a chair no problem you know they some resorts like at secrets you got to get up at 8 a.m just to put your towel down so you get a chair on some days which sucks but you know you know it is what it is you can't they can't really expand more caliente could do a little more now because they do have some room so they're able to expand if they need to so about the pools I'll see you next time.
really expand more caliente could do a little more now because they do have some room so they're able to expand if they need to so about the pools there's one thing to keep in mind the big pool isn't heated don't let that dissuade you from this because the other pools are warm and welcoming all right the hot tub is very hot the conversation in the pool is warm it usually around 80. The smaller pill by the cabana bar is around 80, but the big main pool is not heated. So if you go during February, it's going to be cold. If you go during the summer, it's going to be hot.
It just depends on when you go. All right. But those are great, all great pools. Those three pools are pretty awesome. Among all the pool options, the conversation pool and the hot tub were my absolute favorite places to be. The conversation pool in particular is unique. It is designed like a long, winding river with seats built into the sides under the water, which is perfect for sitting and chatting with people. This pool becomes the center activity as the evening rolls in.
It's amazing how how many people it can accommodate i have seen it where if a guy has a hard on he's smacking people going down the damn thing because there's so many people everyone is scans for clothes naturally no clothes it's a vibrant spot that caters to those who enjoy watching others or being watched in a playful and respectful atmosphere of course the water in the conversation pool is nicely heated making it incredible comfortable to stay for long hours into the night all right so this is where if you want to know where the action is happening this is where the action is happening people meet they hang out they start fucking there and all that they may swap partners they might not they just might have someone watching they don't mind getting watched and all that do blow jobs do oral sex whatever it is all right so that's where all the good fun has so close by you'll find the hot tub shaped like a clover big clover wheat it tends to be warmer than the other pools about 100 plus but in a way that's totally enjoyable not all the time.
When the pools are lit up by the night, they create a captivating and somewhat sensual ambiance that really adds to the overall mood of the place at Caliente. During daytime hours, the atmosphere remains relaxed and appropriate for all guests. However, as the night progresses, the resort adapts a more laissez-faire attitude towards adult behavior, a.k.a. having sex. What's up, digs, by the way? I see you. Let me see you. All right. Anyways, shout out to you.
So it's not uncommon to see couples engaging in uh you know intimate activities you know sex maybe uh from the more subtle forms of explicit displays if you choose you can sit close to the action and enjoy the view all right i myself had done some you know some enjoying views all that. I got a good story for you about that hot tub. One of my great accomplishments that I had during that time, whether you're participating in your own escapades or simply observing, I find that when people are out in the open and they're having sex, I don't understand why they get upset if someone is masturbating.
Now they don't get upset when it's a woman masturbating but they do get upset if it was me ac jacking off and watching them and you know what why are you doing it in the public if you don't want no one to jack off i don't understand that people can you explain to me that all you little uh swingers out there why you don't like watching having someone watch you and they're jacking off watching you fuck i think that's the utmost you know most uh you know it's like saying good job and all that i don't know the environment is designed to be open and accepting encouraging guests to enjoy their time in whatever they they whatever way they wish once evening arrives like i said when the sun goes down the ladies go down the men go down in uh caliente all right but in between those hours you got the dance club and it's a great dance club they're uh they have amped it up top notch is one of the best dance clubs even for a vanilla dance club it could make a run for its money the dance club was pretty is pretty big with lots of space for everyone to move and groove it had a cool dance floor that got extra fun because of the fog machine and the colorful lights every night there's a dj spinning tunes which made the atmosphere lively the bartenders were friendly and quick to serve drinks at least until the place gets super busy later in the night one thing to note though the drinks were a bit pricey side and could have been even stronger like i said you are not paying for the quality you're paying for the convenience everything there is up all right so you know it is what it is so go there and enjoy it don't worry about the money if you're worried about the money i don't um wouldn't recommend you going maybe go to paradise lakes down the road or stay off site people of all different styles and backgrounds come to enjoy the club you'll see women wearing all sorts of outfits from super daring to bold dresses to elegant and sophisticated ones and yes some decide to skip clothing altogether a lot of times you go into the dance club they're not they're not new they're most of them are have something slutty on and all that the men on the other hand don't really dress up much most of the guys wore simple t-shirt and polos and shirts and all that i always have a thing with that when i go out i'm always dressed nice and all that because you got dressed to impress some of these dudes don't even know how to dress so i don't know i don't like that i think it's kind of sad for the ladies but i guess you know what the ladies are probably getting dressed up for the ladies they don't really care what the guys think cargo shorts were surprisingly popular choice if there are a few men who aim to stand out either dressing in mesh pants that you could see right through or wearing a camouflage shorts that really made a statement uh you know how big the bulge is overall though the the effort put into men's outfit was a bit lacking or always lacking guys we can do better you know we can ask someone ask your wife ask a friend how can i dress better at a club because you know what every lady loves a sharp dress man and all that the selection was pretty good, offering a wide range of classic hits from Cooling the Gang to more modern tracks by artists like Pitbull, Mr.
International. So there is something for pretty much everyone's taste, whether you're there to relive old favorites or jam with the latest hits. You got the, what is it called? You got Latin Night there. They have Latin Nights there where it's all latin music and all that and that's pretty good all right now sad to note that this place is now closed but they opened up a play area outside of the clubhouse there used to be a place called rouge and it used to be downstairs um in the clubhouse and very convenient, super friendly.
Now, if you ever visited a sex club before, I strongly recommend you asking for a tour at Rouge. Now, the problem with this is, even though it doesn't exist anymore, it's off-premises, I'm still going to talk about it. Because I think you guys missed a lot, and I think they should bring this back.
Next time, Caliente, get the fucking permits for it for it simply speak to someone at the front desk when you arrive and they'll arrange for a staff member to show you around and explain everything you need to know they'll help you understand the rules including what items you're allowed to bring in and what's prohibited plus how the entry procedure operates it has a where it has a a good entry system and all that also you can't go in there with clothes on. You've got to be nude or in lingerie. Yes, which I think is good. A lot of people bitch about it.
I think it's great because now it puts everybody on a plain even field. Plain, it's all there. You see it. We're all there for the same reason. As you enter, you'll be directed to the locker room. This space is pretty small and usually busy as everyone's getting undressed and storing their belongings in the locker provided by a staff member. Remember, this isn't a place for shyness. Leave that at the door. I told you, there are going to be mom bods, dad bods are the norm in swinging. It is not the supermodel. Those girls are few and far between.
Six-pack abs with 10-inch cocks, those are few and far between guys you don't have to be shy of your micro penis or your average size penis you are the norm you are not the exception you are the normal type of body that is there guts everything listen if a girl don't like it because you got a gut gentleman you know what fuck her they're lost not ours all right so you know go out don't be shy anymore all right so that's where we at you're allowed to bring a ziploc bag with personal essentials like lube and a couple of toys but nothing more condoms also you could bring in as you proceed you'll pass through other metal detectors you would not believe when i was working down at rouge how many people try to smuggle shit in through their prison purse aka their pussy women will stick fucking shit up their pussies they sneak it in like drugs and all that and you'll be surprised how many times that does happen as you proceed you'll pass through the metal detector leave your smart watches and cameras behind they're not allowed inside which is good because you know even though the cameras are not supposed to be around at caliente people still take do it and they take pictures and you see people in the background and all that now some people don't want to be filmed but you know some people just don't have the respect for others and like i said i don't take pictures when anyone's around i only do it when no one's around so you know i don't ever get that in that situation in the terms of dress code men can wear boxers while women can choose panties or lingerie however being nude is even simpler choice since it means less to carry around though even though boxers and thongs or g-strings are common picks for those who prefer some coverage you know like i said guys can be shy of their penises women can be shy of their bodies and all that so maybe they'll wear something i you know like i said all women bodies are beautiful i even like the bbws and all that so and then all that so i don't know why people get upset but anyways once inside you'll notice the striking red and black lightning setting the mood along with a spacious sitting area that overworks a large round bed designed to accommodate several couples at once or several singles the atmosphere throughout is electrifying and sensual enhanced by excellent lighting i did say that it was good lighting not bright not too dark in this club bringing any liquids is prohibited but don't worry there's a fridge stock with water bottles near the sitting area make sure to grab a bottle to keep hydrated especially as they might run a little later towels are also provided at the entrance it's a good idea they'll take one as you'll find it useful also stay hydrated ladies because you know we got some squirters and trust me in the time of the year we had people shipped in the beds and we have people who pretty much soaked the bed like it was a it looked like they just threw the towel the bedding into the pool that's That's how much fucking squirting that some of these ladies do.
The layout includes several uh single bedrooms most of the windows offering views into other rooms which is decorated in essential colors and sexy lighting to enhance the mood the group playroom features six large beds along one wall and benches on the opposite side. Each bed can fit two couples or a threesome with benches for those who enjoy watching or are waiting their turn. Every room is equipped with a sink, paper towels, and hand sanitizers with a TV show and musical porn to add to the atmosphere. Curtains are used throughout the privacy for privacy.
Except in the group room, a drawn curtain generally means the occupants seek privacy although curiosity can sometimes lead guests to peek and that was one of the big things we always had people peeking during our during my visits we opted to keep the curtains of our window open for reciprocal viewing experience with a couple in the next room they had a lively foursome happening which was quite thrilling to watch from our room all right so that is rouge or and all that and unfortunately that has been closed down it's been closed down for a year or two now but i said they do have a play area in the um in the community you have to go ask the shuttle person to take you there but this was so super convenient because the club is in the same building and everything's in the same building and you just walk there you don't have to if you're in a hot tub or you're in a conversation pool or any other pools you just say hey let's go to the play let's go to the playrooms unfortunately that's not there so like i said i think the rumor was they didn't get permits for it and they got caught uh by the county and they could never get permits all right so with that let me tell you a story because i think this is a really great story and all that so it was a chilly march evening it was at caliente i was at caliente around 2 a.m this is during spring break one one of these years.
It was in March, so it was very cold. It was cold, and I didn't think anybody was going to be there. So I decided it was the perfect time to enjoy soaking the hot tub, expecting to have the place all to myself. Indeed, when I arrived, the hot tub area was deserted. Like, there was no one there. Usually you have one or two stragglers there waiting or, you know, maybe hoping for something to happen. No, not this day. And it was a, I think it was a Friday, too. Thank you so much for watching.
one there usually you have one or two stragglers there waiting or you know maybe hoping for something to happen no not this day and it was a it was i think it was a friday too it was a friday night and i just got back from fucking one of my girlfriends and i just said i'm gonna stop in since i'm a member i get in got the thing uh the gate opens and all that so about after 15 minutes of solitude and all that great stuff uh two couples walked into the area didn't think anything of it because you know they didn't look like they were going to come in they didn't have no towels or anything they were completely naked and decided to join me in the hot tub almost immediately the women began to perform oral sex on their men despite their efforts neither of the men was able to maintain an erection and after about 30 minutes the women became visibly frustrated and i could not believe i was timing i was literally looking at my watch seeing how long these girls are going to suck these guys's dicks and all that because i was amazed that they kept going and going because it was a long time it was about two it was about 2 45 three o'clock and when they finally got pissed off enough to say fuck it and all that and stop doing it but throughout this time the two women were conversing in russian not speaking any english at one point one of the women expressed in an irritated tone that she wanted to have sex she was like i want to get fucked i remember that i was sitting on the edge of the hot tub and i had my huge erection which didn't go unnoticed by one of the russians the women she approached me and asked if she could pour oral sex on me this is the first time she spoke english to which i enthusiastically agreed who the i was not gonna turn it's 3 a.m in the morning i'm rock hard why not why who's gonna tell this russian woman was beautiful beautiful typical russian type blonde blonde hair and all that so i was like hell yeah suck it after a brief moment i showed her a condom and nodded and she nodded approval so i got so i had what did i have i kept this uh tote bag that i always have lubes and condoms in that i bring with me all the time so i'll just carry it just in case because you never know in this case you never know so i open it up get up get out my condom and i show her the condom and she's like she nods in an agreement so i put the condom on and and just then her friend joined us the other girl becoming involved with both of us the first russian woman climbed on top of me and began to ride energetically clearly in great need of sexual satisfaction meanwhile the second woman kissed me and played with my body after the first woman had her turn the second woman took her place on top of me and it was awesome i could not believe this was happening while the first woman positioned herself so that i could perform oral sex on her so i'm sitting down on the hot tub chair in the water russian woman number two is on top of me going up and down i got my head backwards and i got actually hurt i had a sore neck the next day because my head's backwards and she's standing over me crotch down so i could eat her pussy while i'm getting written by her friend so as this as this was happening the husbands of these women were watching they were just sitting there watching and they weren't doing anything they weren't jacking off or anything or most like that the first woman climaxed multiple times as i continued and the energy only intensified eventually i grew tired of the continuous action so i positioned the second woman on the edge of the hot tub so her ass is over the edge of the hot tub and engaged with her in a more traditional manner.
She thoroughly enjoyed it, prompting me to also perform oral sex on her. Meanwhile, the first woman was exploring and pleasuring different parts of my body, enhancing this man. She licked my asshole, which was great. She sucked on my balls and all that while I was giving oral to someone else, to her friend. The night escalated further when the first woman positioned herself on the edge when I engaged with her vigorously. So the second woman I got on the edge, first one gets on the edge. I got them both on the edge.
The experience cultivated when I aimed to finish with a dramatic touch, managing to achieve a double facial.
The entire counter at the hot tub that night was unexpected and incredibly memorable so how i did it was these two women i'm on top of the i'm out of the i'm standing on the edge of the hot tub or actually it's the platform the two girls are standing up in the hot tub and i'm just jacking off waiting for me to blow my load and i shoot my load onto both of their faces and all that and they took both facial so i was able now i wish i was back to being 21 where i blew a damn load like a fucking porn star but you know nonetheless a load's a load so that was a great experience that was something that usually you know I never thought would ever happen to me that two women you know because of I was there because of the moment and all that I would benefit it from gentlemen who could not achieve erections because you know they were probably drinking they probably drunk the woman smelled like alcohol so I'm sure their husbands were all drunk too so that was one of those things where you know you just don't know when you go to caliente you don't know what's going to happen guys single guys single woman couples you just don't know so another time so i met this lady on tinder and it turns out she knows about caliente uh resort spa because she's also a swinger too so that's what a coincidence that is you know swingers on tinder who knew anyway we agreed that we would meet um me she would meet me at caliente it was on a tuesday night in december it was before christmas it was all good and she was you know when i saw her in the parking lot i was immediately struck by how beautiful she beautiful she was she was about five two per net with nice tits and a big butt uh she was stacked i mean i was just fucking my cock got instant hard uh she had a very nice waist and she was like an owlgrass figure which was really flattering i thought to myself this woman is going to get a big fuck tonight i was gonna fuck the shit out of her tonight i, what I call, anger bang, which means she's going to get the best that I got because I want to make an impression on her so much that she calls me back up again and again and again because I fucked the shit out of her.
I fucked her brains out almost. Fucked her stupid. But anyways, so we continued to talk for a while while we were in the park. And we decided to go to the pool where we had the bedside cabana. It's at night. It's December. It's Tuesday. No one's around. A couple people around. This way, we could fucking private. Because she was down the fuck. We were both there the fuck and all that. And she told me some things. And I'll tell you some more things about her later on.
So I was wearing my 8-inchelike cock at the time now i had this fake i have these fake cocks and one's nine inches one's eight inches and all that and they you slip you get a hard-on and you can slip it over your cock and you got instant length and instant girth and these fucking things are thick i mean six inches thick seven and a half inches thick is one two and it's a pussy destroyer and she's a size queen she loves big dicks i don't have one i'm just average size so i give her a treat all right so i get out this big fucking eight incher and when i put it you know when you put that in a woman you can see it stretch her pussy and all that and it's a fucking great and they all the ladies have loved it the ones that say they didn't like they can't they don't know if they can fuck something like that their pussy's sucking in real quick and all that so anyways so i put on put my hollow cock on i stretched her pussy out in a way that no other cock had ever done she was telling me oh my god this isn't the first time ever and all that and i'm like yeah i know i know don't worry about it baby i got you you know just sit back relax and enjoy this big anger fuck all right as we made out by the as we as we were made out by the pool fucking in the pool i couldn't help but knows how amazing her pussy was i must have stayed down on her for 45 to an hour it you know because it had no smell it had no taste it was like nothing there you know now later on it would get smell and i get a taste which was good because it was a good fucking fuck taste which was you know extremely refreshing because you know sometimes you know you get these women their body odor down there is just not right they gotta figure out their ph balance and shit like that and it's just like oh and you know you, you know, you just go, okay, whatever.
And you just do the deed because, you know what, you might not smell good down there when she's blowing you. So, you know, it is what it is. But for her, there was no taste, no smell at the very first. It was the type of pussy that you could eat for hours and not get tired of it. She was a squirter. She was multi-orgasmic. She can have so many orgasms just by eating her pussy. It was just amazing. I'm like, I've never seen a woman like this. And I'm like, this woman is too good to be true. She's not, she can't be single. She has to have a husband or something like that.
So finally I got down the business. I went down on her, her pussy responded beautifully. It was pure pleasure. I could keep going and going and she never complained complained it was an incredible experience she never once asked me to fuck her she just kept squirting on my face squirting all over the place and she just said keep going and keep going she never said like a lot of women say bang come fuck me now she wasn't she was like enjoying what she was getting so i knew i was in in for a good recommendation basically so in, I met this woman on Tinder.
We all knew about Caliente being a swinger before. We lived right across the street from each other. We decided to meet there on a Tuesday night in December. When I saw her in the park, I was cultivating. Bada boom. All right? So that was all good, you know, and all that. Let's see.
So I was able to bring her into intense orgasm using my oral skills, as I sexually, I am sexually skilled in that area, I don't brag a lot, but I'll brag about my pussy eating skills, I will put them up against any person, any woman, any man on this planet, I think I can eat really good pussy, she was pleading with me, finally, after a fucking an hour which you know i wouldn't say it was pleading she just said hey can you go fuck me now she wants to see it she was so she was asking me to fuck her uh to enter her with my eight inch uh thick you know hollow penis but i continued to focus on her sensitive area i was like fuck no i'm gonna keep eating your pussy after some time i finally gave her what she desired i put a condom on even though it was a fake penis didn't have to worry about transmitting stds and applied some lube to ensure smooth and pleasurable experience from the moment i slid that fake penis into her she couldn't stop experiencing orgasms one after another it was just something real i wish i would have recorded it we continued our passionate encounter for hours as i am not experiencing any climax myself the jalapenos strap-on i was wearing allowed me to maintain my stamina and keep going i can use it now the hardness of the jalapenos was perfect for insertion into her vagina feeling compassion for her i decided to end our intimate session because i just got tired it was four o'clock it was four hours we got done like a midnight around that time and we both had to go to work in the morning it was like fuck and she just enjoyed it and we just had a great time now we weren't fucking all four straight hours there's no way in a human possible in in any human could do that i hate it when people say oh we were fucked for four straight hours no you didn't lie a sack of shit you you stopped and go you stop and go that's what we were doing all right so uh let's see i later discovered this is what pisses me off this is why i say if it's too good to be true it's true i later discovered that she was actually cheating on her husband who was unaware of her infidelities who was unaware of her swinging and all that after our marathon sex session we both agreed I don't get depressed that much about women in the lifestyle because you know it, it comes and goes.
I got to find the right one for me, not the, you know, just to have a woman like some people will do. But this woman, I, you know, you say there's love at first sight. I don't believe that. I think it's lust at first sight than it turns into love. But this was lust at first sight. I mean, she was everything. She was stacked to the T.
And t and you know it was just disappointing to find out that she was already taken and not that that she was also cheating on her husband so i'm like oh so i'm fucking this other guy and i'm now i'm in trouble because this guy can come after me because i'm doing his wife even though she's banging all these other dudes later on that i found out now did i that was the only that was the last time first last time me and her ever had sex at all because of that because she was married and she wasn't truthful but also some of her choices that she makes and i hope she's doing well and all that so and all that but you know caliente is a great place to go if you're a swinger you know another time met another chick off of tinder she's a construction worker just in town she wants to go and she was a great probably now this was the one that got away this is the girl that got away i would say so she's a construction worker she goes down to town doing it she texts me say hey i want to go to caliente want to check it out no problem she's a swinger she's bisexual too immediately when we get there she takes to it she starts fucking she goes me and her start having a good time i have my fake cock on my hollow cock on again i'm pounding her pussy and all that and you know what she's game she's talking to other dudes and other women and she starts fucking these other dudes and other women in front of me we start swapping partners and all that it was great she was a great person to have that's one that i say got away because she was the probably the ultimate probably the best partner i probably could ask for because she was nose holes bar she didn't give a shit she just wanted to get laid and all that and she had a great time me and her had a great time we were on a hot tub there used to be a bed by the hot tub i was watching her fuck a couple then more girls came in she's eating pussy she's getting taken dick and all that and i'm just watching having a great time a girl comes over to me asked me to fuck her with my big hollow cock and I fucked her with it.
And I stretched that girl's pussy out. I'm fucking her on the table and she's just blowing her fucking load and blowing her mind and all that, man. It's just, it's just awesome. So Caliente is one of those places where if you are a swinger and you haven't been, I would recommend you going. All right. So, you know, that's one of those things where, you know, you got to think about. Now let's talk about, it is pricey. You know, it is very pricey to me. I think it's worth it. I think going there, spending the money and all that is great because you're going to have a great time.
So, you know, if you, so I look on their website, website if you buy passes online you get to save 10 no problem now this with this you can do different memberships your couple single females and single males single males don't matter what time of day you are you're 175 a day now you go damn that's a lot of money but to me i think that keeps a lot of shit out and that keeps a lot of the shit heads out and all that it keeps good and it gets you get good quality single men with these prices couples an all-day pass is 125 if you come in sunday before 11 a.m it's 40 bucks sunday after 11 a.m 60 bucks then sunday through thursday after 6 p.m is 30 bucks and saturday through friday through saturday after 6 p.m is 60 bucks so you go for 125 bucks It's very good now let's see how much are memberships because i was a membership and i paid let me see as a single I paid $2,000 for my year of membership.
Now, if you are a single male, it's $3,600 a year. If you are a couple, it's $3,200. And let's see, if you are a single female, it's $1,600. I heard single females complain about the price. I'm like, what are you fucking complaining about? We pay over $3,000 in all this, and you only have to pay $1,600. I wish I could do that. They do do payment plans. I think it was four or six payments, and you could break them up. So that's always nice. Also, they're kind of cool because they have another thing called the Vacation Club membership, which is a little under $1,000. So let's see. Let's see.
Additional Worldwide Travel Members includes five couple passes per calendar year. So you get five passes, I guess. I don't know. I never bothered with couples or single female snowbirds. So if you only come down during the wintertime because you're escaping those cold winters from the north, you only got to pay $21.50 for your membership.
And they even have a male snowbird a male snowbird which is 2400 which is kind of cool september 1st to april 30th expires all right and this only goes for out of state residents only so so if you have a uh id floater id you're not going to be able to get this so sorry guys i don't know what to tell you but get honest go back to your state and get an ID and come down and just keep two IDs I guess all right so you can go to their website it's caliente resorts.com you can find out all the information there like I said I think it's great I do believe it's overpriced I say you're always paying for convenience you're not paying for the quality of everything go get the pizza see if you like it let me know if it's any good i like i said i don't fucking think it's good i just think it's a little i don't know i'm just you know i'm just a carnivore for pizza anyways i just love pizza i don't think it's the greatest pizza management is great you have any concerns they always address them all right remember the workers are there to work they're not there you they're not your fuck toys they're not your sex toys don't grab the hostess hostesses and all that because they're all walking around in thongs and they got some great booties but leave them alone they're there to work they're not there to you know sleep with you all right if they choose to sleep with you after hours that's great but remember they're not your fuck toys they're not your sex slaves well show them some class and some courtesy all right and all that and tip well um and all that those those men and women there they do work hard for it and they don't get paid a lot of money even though they try to tell you that's why caliente is always hiring if you oh yeah if you're looking for a job caliente is always hiring so you know go find go fill out application you get a free let me see you know let me see where that is uh employment okay i'm clicking on the employment let's see they got housekeeping laundry beer backs bartender servers front desk kitchen help contact servers cocktail servers all right and what do you get i don't you got a bunch of uh let's see You got a bunch of Benefits So I don't know This I don't, you got a bunch of, let's see, you got a bunch of benefits, so I don't know, let's see, I think one of the benefits I liked is a free membership, so you got a free membership, you didn't have to pay the $3,000 that I would have to pay as a single guy, I just go there whenever I wanted to go, when I was not working, and even when I i was there so you know caliente is great like i've been saying before so anyways what else that's about it i have plenty more stories to tell you about caliente all the sex and fun i was having there hooking up with a 23 year old girl shoving that big big eight inch Fucking dildo in her pussy Making her fucking regret being in Pennsylvania Also a 23 year old girl shoving that big big eight inch fucking dildo in her pussy and making her fucking regret being in pennsylvania also one couple sucking on my nine incher and she could not believe how big it was so it is what it is i'll tell those stories later on so anyways with that i think that's all going to be for today um it was a tough it's been a tough week this week because we had uh storms last night we had a couple tornadoes hit houston millions of people are out without power here and all that so it's kind of shit i hope all everyone's fine wherever they're at in houston if you're in houston if you're around the world i hope you're all stay staying safe staying warm and having a great time enjoying my podcast i hope to find some guests if anyone wants to be a guest, give me an email at swingingsinglepodcasts at gmail.com.
I'll have you on. Don't care if you're a single guy, single woman, a couple, you know, and all that. So let's, you know, let's hook up. Anyways, with that, remember, gentlemen, to shave your cock and balls do not forget to shave your cock and balls ladies make your gentlemen make your men shave your cock and balls and dress like a fucking normal i have some style when they go to the club because let's bring style back to the men in the swingers club and we'll have a great and i want you to have a great night uh Enjoy the weekend. It's almost moral day here in the United States.
My foreign friends out there, I love you. Thank you for listening, my European friends. I hope to join you someday at some of the clubs there. I hear some great things about it, and I just want to get there before I die and enjoy the freak-out that's in the Europeans have. I love the Europeans, people. All right, have a great night. Shave your cock and ball gentlemen and keep on swinging If you, your lips, they taste like whiskey, every move. Time, the name is quickly passing by. I want to slip away into the night, but I don't need to wake up by your side. Chips in the night.
I want to be the devil on your shoulder night I wanna be the devil on your shoulder I wanna be the angel when it's over You'll get lucky like a four-leaf glow Baby, I'm a holly to your joker I wanna be the devil on your shoulder I wanna be the angel when it's over You'll get lucky like a four-leaf glover Baby, I'm a holly to your joker Closer
