In today’s episode, AC Maxwell breaks down the 5 most common regrets swinger couples often experience and offers insights on how to avoid them for a more fulfilling lifestyle. Later, he takes you along for a lively Friday night at TPC Hempstead, where the crowd was packed and couples were fully embracing the excitement in the playrooms. Whether you’re new to swinging or a seasoned player, this episode is packed with valuable lessons and entertaining real-life stories. Don’t miss [email protected]://www.thependulumclub.net/
Transcript
Welcome to the Swing and Single Podcast with your host A.C. Maxwell, broadcasting from the legendary Upside Down Pineapple Studios in the heart of Texas. For over two decades, I've embraced the swinging lifestyle as a single male, and on this show, I'm here to share my wildest tales and experiences with you. On today's show, we're going to talk about my Friday night at TPC Hempstead, and I'm also going to talk about some common regrets that swingers might have. So grab some lube, some tissues, and for the spouses out there, get a bottle of wine, drink some wine, sit on his face.
Gentlemen, make sure you shave your cock and balls and settle in for some uncensored eye-opening stories on the Swinging Single podcast swinging single podcast with host ac maxwell is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only the opinions views and content expressed or shared on the podcast are solely those of the host ac maxwell and any featured guests or contributors and do not necessarily represent those of the podcast's affiliates, sponsors, advertisers, or partners.
Any information provided is given with the understanding that it does not constitute a contract, engagement, or formal advice. The content of the podcast is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Mouth, open, pussy, spread. Boy, just do what I said. Let's do yoga on the bed. Fuck me deep in the head. Smack my ass and make it red. All right, you heard the lady. Let's fuck her head and all that stuff. And let's do some yoga in the bed. But first, before you do that, go to swingandsinglepodcast.com. Check out all things AC.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, go to swingandsinglepodcast at single podcast at gmail.com i'd love to hear it from you any criticism i don't care whatever it is come on my show let's talk let's see what's going on but for today we are going to talk about tpc hemstead my night there friday night was a great night and we're going to talk about some regrets that swingers might have you know we all have regrets i don't know i can't stand when people say i have no regrets in life look at all bullshit everyone has regrets in life they should have done this should have done that uh don't try to be a badass and be a thug and say hey i have no regrets because i love everything but you know swingers have regrets and it's not always bad regrets it could be you know that they just regretted not talking to a couple that they were interested in at the club or they regretted fucking a couple that they played with because they come out to be completely psycho but first i want to talk about my time at you know swinging single i mean uh not to swing single podcast but uh tpc hemstead and i was overly surprised i was happy that i went it was a friday night um you know friday night they allow single guys they they are now they do allow single guys thursday friday saturday nights but gentlemen before you go to swing uh tpc hem say why don't you look at what you're wearing dress up nice some of you guys still lack the uh tools to dress nice to dress up and you, try to dress to impress, you know, do it like that.
You know, that's what I'm saying. Dress to impress. That's always one of my rules that I, cardinal rules that I always have. Dress to impress. So we, uh, we went there and we took a partner of mine and we went there, you know, did the usual, paid, uh, our fee. It was, I think it was $80, a little less than $90 to get in. Great stuff. You can tip. Now they have what I think is good now because when you use your card, you can tip now. Before, you couldn't. And what I'm really getting, I don't know about you, but it's getting annoying to me about when you tip because no one carries cash anymore.
In some places, don't even take cash anymore.
So, you know, I never bother to never bothered to go you know what maybe i should get some 100 bucks out of the bank and pay cash for things i don't ever think like that anymore and you know now there you're able to tip on your card and all that stuff you know and all that great stuff and i think that's a great addition because you know i always felt bad not only i gotta have five bucks and i go they should probably make more than five bucks probably give them 10 bucks or 20 a 20 bill but now i can do that and give them extra cash on my card and all that stuff because the lady up front works just as hard if not as hard just as everyone else so you know make sure when you go there tip you know five bucks listen this is what i always had when i was stripping back in the day and i was working at the strip club yes a male stripper for females uh i looked at it this i only need to get a dollar from uh every woman that walks in the door because we would get two to three hundred people a night so if i got a dollar uh and we had 200 or 300 people i'm making 200 300 dollars a night for basically doing brainless work walking around in my g-string showing my cock to girls and stuff like that now if you made two dollars that's even double so you know you may i would make five to a thousand dollars on a saturday night because you know that was my philosophy just get a dollar so if they got a dollar for every person that walked in they'll make a couple hundred bucks plus their.
So remember to tip those people at the TPC, Hempstead, and north and south if you go there. So we go in there, we walk in, and we got there at 10.30. You know, it wasn't crowded, but I was surprised by after 11.30, midnight, it started getting crowded. And it was a good packed crowd. I was impressed.
Now, I always said when I would go there on a friday saturday night there wasn't a lot of people there and all that stuff there's you know there are tables open not a lot of people were playing but today it must i don't know what it was maybe it's the summer heat or whatever it is but there were a lot of people there and i was very impressed i was surprised uh the place is always clean as usual and that's good and we get there we just talk bullshitted and you know people started fucking so you know you always need a fire starter every club should hire a couple now you can't just hire any old couple you're gonna have to hire a good-looking couple because good-looking people get watched when they're fucking and when people are watching people fuck guess what happens they want to get they get horny they start fucking too so you know one couple starts it off and guess what everyone was participating so we were you know there were couples on both beds and in the open room we only went to the open area that stuff.
We don't really, we're not very closed off people, or I'm not. And I don't like having partners that are closed off. I want partners that are going to open, do shit in the open. So we were on the open room. We did our thing. We played, we fucked, and do our stuff.
Couples were on all the three beds that are up in the, I't know what you would call it in the back area three beds were being occupied it was like two or three couples on the one big big bed and there was couples two couples on one uh smaller bed and another couple on the other bed and they were all playing having fun fucking and doing all that stuff people were watching you know girls were grabbing crotches and girls were being fingered by their partners and stuff like that so that is a good night so like i said when when you go to a club you want people to play and all that stuff and people were so i was surprised when i went there that there were people playing because usually sometimes it doesn't take it takes a long time for people to start playing or they play behind closed doors but people were were out and open doing all kinds of stuff.
And the girls were looking good. Even my partner even said that she knows that the quality of good looking people has gone up at TPC Hempstead. So I was like, I never really noticed. Well, I did. But, you know, I always thought it was I thought I thought it was the same. I didn't think there was any difference in all that.
I just thought the people wearing the men wearing their clothes i don't know some it really is true about uh men they really need help with their clothing because they don't know how to dress and all that stuff so you know guys take some pride shave your cock and balls look at what you're wearing ask your wife if this is good uh you don't have to look like you just came from the oil rig or if you came from work. You can actually put on a nice khakis, you know, maybe a suit or whatever. It ain't going to hurt you, you know. Look at ZZ Top. Every woman loves a well-dressed man. Think about it.
Just go with it, guys. But anyways, so we left around 1 o'clock, and people were fucking still fucking. So it was a good hour fuckfest at TPC Hempstead this time. So, you know, kudos to them. Maybe it's getting better. Maybe, you know, having five swinger clubs in one city is leveling off and that people are going to start going to the one place.
You know, maybe the cream of the rising now because i always said i never understand i ever understood why they opened up three clubs and they had two other clubs so there's five clubs in the houston area and i never understood why they had all these clubs because swinging is not a high turnover you're not gonna you it's not like mcdonald's where you lose one customer a hundred cup other cup customers are ready to take their place stuff like that if you lose a couple you might lose a not replace that couple for a while so you know there's not a high turnover there in that swinging lifestyle so i always thought it didn't make any sense i always thought maybe you go to an inner loop and build a one big ass club and it's central to everybody because everyone's going to you know if they live in the north they go to the north if they live in the south they live in the south unless they're you and all that stuff so it's just kind of weird and because you know i live close to tpc hempstead so that's where i usually go so you know i never really thought think about going to the north because i'm closer to tp samson so but if i only had but i remember the days when hempstead tbc hempstead was the only club opening man fucking you get there at nine o'clock it was a line out the door it was packed every night so you know maybe those good old days are coming back and people were dancing i couldn't believe it people were dancing and it was it was unreal so like i said it was like it was like a throwback night for me really because it's like pre what do you call pre-covid before covid happened it was like a throwback night everyone was doing having a good time laughing and and fucking so you know so that was awesome so i had a great time thank you to the staff at tpc himself for keeping it clean uh keeping the party going and all that stuff and yeah that's about my night oh well let's go on let's move on let's talk about regrets do you have any regrets now it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be regrets in the swinging lifestyle it could be regrets you know in life in general so I always figured has been doing it for over 20 years swinging over 20 years seen couples come and I've seen couples go.
And I always wonder when the couples get divorced, do they have any regrets that maybe swinging was the one that ruined it? And like I said, I don't know, and I can't verify any data that swinging terminated these couples.
but you never know what uh what might happen before swinging and what happened after so i found this article from rolling out.com it says five common regrets swinging couples often experience and all that great stuff so couples often enter swinging with the notion that it's purely physical fun meant to spice up the relationships however many are not prepared for the emotional roller coaster that can follow feelings of jealousy insecurity and even guilt can emerge especially if one partner develops a stronger emotional bond with someone outside the relationship yeah this is why i always say you gotta be it's gotta be physical if you're getting this swinging other than for purely sexual reasons you might your relationship might not survive because like i said women are emotional creatures we all know that women ladies you cannot deny that you are not emotional creatures so if you get a connection with someone you get an emotional attachment to someone in the swinging lifestyle you know things can happen i know guys will tell other women to leave their husband for them and i cannot believe for a second that would actually happen i can't believe fucking guys are and those these are single guys and these are the guys that give me a bad name because you know when you see that happen the first time you're like well you take a step back as the husband and say what the fuck is going on why is this dude trying to steal my wife and you and you develop this well we're not going to play with single guys anymore so now i'm fucked because now they're no longer gonna play single guys because some dickhead tried to steal the girl steal the wife away and it happens because i actually talk to couples that it does happen too and i'm like there's no way i just i just can't believe it but it does so you know it is an emotional roller coaster you have your ups and you have your downs you'll have your times where you think are we ugly because no one talks to us you'll be you're gonna have those times where you think you're the shit because everybody wants you and you'd be then you develop swinger delusional syndrome sds you're gonna feel jealous guys just wait till your girl starts playing with her first man and the guy's got a fucking wang bigger than yours she's screaming holy hell holy oh my god more more than she ever scream at you or maybe she squirts for the first time from some other guy you're gonna be jealous and it's okay to be You've got to be able to learn how to deal with those jealousies and all that stuff.
What else? The insecurity. Are we good-looking enough? Are we too fat? Are we too skinny? Is my ass too flat? My boobs big enough? Is my cock big enough? Guys always had the thing with cocks. I see fat guys who don't care about that.
They haven't seen their cocks since the fucking but they're more they're not worried about that big old gut but they're worried about their little tiny penis which is i don't understand because clean up the gut you clean up the penis the cleanest little bit bigger obsimpic dick remember that makes your dick look bigger but anyways so you know you got that insecurity girls you know is my tits big tits big enough? Because guess what? You're going to go to a club. There's going to be a lot of plastic in the club. So, you know, you're going to have that insecurity. Just remember this.
You're good enough for you. You have to be secure with yourself. Don't worry about what other people are. Because you know what? At the end of the day, when you go home, you're not going home with those people. You're going home with your husband you're going home with your wife and if they're okay with it then you should be okay with it too all right if you want to improve on it work out do something uh guilt we talk about some guilt you might feel guilty that you enjoyed fucking your this other person more than you did enjoy fucking your current spouse.
And that's where the communication part comes in. You've got to be able to communicate with your partner. If you have a partner that you cannot communicate with, it's not going to work. Don't not swing. Trust me, you're going to regret it. And that would be probably one. And try to stay away from the emotional bonds. Remember, this is swinging. This is for sex. This is not for a husband or a wife or anything like that. You don't want to develop those feelings. And if you start to develop those feelings, you've got to get out.
Because is your relationship worth losing over some piece of ass that you had no through? Remember this. When you hook up with a couple, you hook up with a single, you're not going home with that person. You don't know how that other person is. That couple you fuck could be completely maniacs. They could be fucking serial killers for all you know. Drunk. Drug addicts. You do not know. And you get an emotional attachment to these people and oh, now you you're just going to put yourself in a bad situation. So, you know, be smart when you do swinging.
Be smart when you're doing all this stuff, guys. Don't be stupid. One of the main regrets couples face is underestimating their emotional readiness. Swinging is not just about sharing intimate moments. It also involves sharing an emotional experience. While the excitement and allure of the lifestyle can initially mask deeper emotions, these emotions can resurface, leaving couples questioning their decisions. I wonder what the percentage is of couples that regret that they have questions after they start swinging. Is this the right thing for us?
Did we take this too lightly and stuff like that emotions get involved that's why i said it's a wham bam thank you ma'am type of thing i don't you know i don't want to steal your wife i don't want to have anything outside of the swinging lifestyle to deal with your wife you know we could talk could talk and chat, but, you know, that's all it's going to be. We're going to fuck. We're going to talk and chat. We're going to fuck, talk and chat. If there's nothing there, then there's no reason for me to go any longer in this because, like I said, she's already married.
I don't want to take a girl that's already married and have her for me because she'll do the same thing to me when she gets bored or when she's unsatisfied i think a quote i heard once was and ladies you're not gonna like this men will sacrifice their happiness for their families but women will sacrifice their families for their happiness let that sink in for a moment and think about it guys Women, think, think about it. Is your happiness more important than your family? Because I know my family is more important than my happiness. So if I got to do bullshit stuff, you know, I'll do it.
But, you gotta think about it watch the emotions remember this is i don't know this is just about sex i don't know why people overestimate everything but anyways you know don't get too emotional what else do they have so emotional triggers can make people question the foundations of their relationships causing doubt about their partner's commitment and sometimes leading to strained connections yep happens all the time couples come and couples go now maybe those couples go because they got what they wanted out of lifestyle they got it out of their system bada boom bada bing they're done or it's even worse it's divorce and i hate hearing about divorces and all that stuff because you you know, when you have divorces, guess what you also have?
You have kids and stuff like that. Even adult kids. Even adult kids, it affects. Just say, like, you're 65 and something like that. Your mom and dad get divorced and you're in your 30s. It affects you because you're like, what the fuck happened, you know?
So couples out there, it don don't matter how old your kids are it's going to affect them no matter what you do and all that so shifts in relationship dynamics this is another some of the regrets swinging is often seen as a way to bring couples closer fostering deeper understanding and openness but what many don't foresee is a shift in the dynamics of a relationship their introductions of other partners can lead to power struggles and one partner perhaps feeling more control over who they swing with and how often now this is the biggest one i think because gentlemen you learn you don't have a magic cock and that you don't control any of this stuff.
Swinging is a female-led lifestyle. Let me repeat that. Swinging is a female-led lifestyle. If you're not okay with female leading, you're not going to be doing this relationship, because guess what? Your woman might wake up one day and say, you know what? I don't need this guy.
I can do this all by this all by myself and guess what she can because there'll be couples out there and singles out there that will be willing to fuck and party with her and take care of that girl so remember the dynamics are female leading the relationship now that doesn't mean she makes all the decisions you know she don't pay all the bills and stuff like that i'm just meaning you ain't gonna get ass unless that woman lets you get ass and that means you better be treat her well if you're in a swing i always think i always said this if you're swinging and your wife allows you to do this you better treat her like a fucking queen because queen taketh queen giveth the queen taketh away, and all that stuff.
So, you know, and I always tell guys, you know, you might hate single men, but guess what? You're one bad decision for being a single male. Anyways, the sense of equality that once existed may be disrupted. With one person feeling they are compromising more, or one feeling left out or less desired. And that happens with the men. You see it on Reddit all the time. Everyone talks to my wife, but no one talks to me. Yeah, because it's a female-led. Your wife is what gets, the wife is the foot. The wife is the foot in the door. It gets you in the door. And it's up to you.
If you had a personality, guess what? You can be unattractive in this lifestyle, but if you have a good outgoing personality and you can talk to people you're gonna get laid you can be good looking and have no personality you're gonna get laid but keeping those relationships get going back for seconds and thirds and all that might be a little difficult because i know when i was at the going home party there's a the single guy there they kind of the woman that i the woman that I met there, he's kind of a goofball. And I go, well, I don't know. He's all right to me. He's all right.
But she's like, no, he's kind of just weird and stuff like that. I can't deal with that stuff. So she's like, she didn't play with him because of that. And he's a decent-looking guy.
guy so you know you gotta remember that it's okay if your wife gets all the attention that's what you want because guess what she's gonna be happy and when she's happy she's gonna do happy things for you and she's gonna do things like find a girl for you to play with all right so you might one of you might or you know what sometimes on a rear it's the man that gets all the attention because the man's outgoing, the woman's introverted and all that stuff. So, you know, it happens both ways. But more commonly, it's the woman gets all the attention, the man feels left out, you know.
This shift can create tension that may linger long after swinging experiences over potentially creating long-term fractures in the bond. This is where you got to talk and communicate, communicate with your partner. When I was working at Caliente, we'd have to break up fights between couples because one person in the couple was paying attention to one person more than the husband or the wife and stuff like that.
So, you know, you always got to remember when you're with someone, you your wife are swinging you and your husband are swinging make sure you include them in everything don't just go off and play with that partner and not tell your husband or you tell your wife and stuff like that many couples regret not fully discussing agreeing on boundaries and expectations before entering a lifestyle look at that couples regret discussing the communication without clear communication the new dynamics can bring about confusion a loss of balance within the relationship of course always like i always said your communication skills are going to be tested and if you're not a good communicator this probably will not be a good uh lifestyle for you but who knows whatever i'm just here to help guide you through this process anyways social and personal reputation reputation risk another regret swinging couples may experience is the unexpected impact on their social and personal lives the swinging community is generally tight-knit but word about participation in swinging can sometimes travel beyond intended circles for those who value privacy finding out that friends family or colleagues know about your lifestyle can lead to regret society may still hold conservative views on non-traditional relationships and the fear of judgment or gossip can weigh heavily on a couple this can lead to feelings of shame isolation or even damage to personal professional reputations couples often regret not considering the long-term ramifications on their social circles and how they would handle potential exposures or judgment from those outside the swinging community.
This one, it really sucks because, you know, there are a lot of great people that are in the swinging lifestyle, but they have to be in the closet. They can't really open up to, you know, people because of the stigma that is attached.
And there's a stigma, and I don't think the stigma is ever going to go away go away i think the stigma will always be there and i also don't like that the fact that you know we got doctors lawyers teachers uh government officials and all that stuff and they can't be open about the relationship because of the fact of the how they work they could lose their jobs stuff like that but yet you know you got people doing crazy stealing from the taxpayer and stuff like that they get to keep their job but god forbid teacher nancy wants to get fucking railed after a long day of teaching your little fucking brats all day uh want to get railed by two guys oh no we can't have that because you know for some reason people you know people can't you know the selective outrage on things is pretty sad and have a lot of selective outrage.
Just look at the Sidney Sweeney shit. Just look at how everyone's, all these fat, ugly white women are outraged about Sidney Sweeney's ad. But yet when a person of color does it, oh, they don't say shit about it. But, you know, because Sidney Sweeney's hot and fucking, you know, she ain't that. To me, Sidney Sweeney, shelooking woman, but she ain't the hottest woman. But, God damn, she has some tits and ass. And, you know, that commercial made me think about buying American Eagle jeans. But, you know, we have selective outrage.
And when we have people in the lifestyle, these people fighting out they're in the lifestyle. They have selective outrage. Oh, they're outraged about it. But yeah, fucking, they got politicians stealing fucking money from them. Oh, oh my God. John and Nancy are fucking swingers. Oh, look it. Politician A just stole $1 billion from our taxpayers. Oh, who cares about that? But fucking, we got to get John and Nancy. John and Nancy need to be fired from their job and shit like that. It's like, what the fuck is, what is wrong with you people?
What is wrong with the world today where you have that selective outrage? Why are you worried about what people do in their private time anyways, too? Like, I don't. I don't really give a shit what people do. As long as, you know what, when you go to work, you come to work, you know, as an accountant and as a courier, I have to think about, you know, as an accountant and as a courier, I have to think about, you know, other people. What people do, what my employees do doesn't affect, does not affect me. As long as they come to work and they do the work, I don't care what they do.
Now, as a courier, when I hire a truck driver, I can't have a truck driver doing drugs and drinking alcohol. So I have to worry about that. But outside of whatever they're doing, I don't give a shit what they're doing. As long as, in the end of the day, they do the work, I don't care. And that's how we should be. But it's not going to be like that. Everyone's going to have a selective outrage. Oh, my God, they have sex with other people.
Oh, no no but yet the same people that had the selected outrage out going out to the bar having affairs and their husbands and their wives don't know about it but hey different strokes for different folks i guess so discovering different levels of interest here's another regret swinging may initially be a mutual decision but once it becomes reality the level of enthusiasm between partners can vary significantly it is not uncommon for one partner to become more deeply involved or more interested in continuing the lifestyle I'll be right back.
But once it becomes reality, the level of enthusiasm between partners can vary significantly. It is not uncommon for one partner to become more deeply involved or more interested in continuing the lifestyle than the other. This mismatch and interest can become a point of contention, leading to feelings of pressure and resentment. Oh, yeah. Now, usually it was the man that wanted to do it more than the woman. But now as I meet more couples, I'm seeing the woman wants to do it more than the man sometimes. And I'm like, wow. Damn, where were these girls when I was younger?
But anyways, you've got to be able to, like I said, once you open Pandora's box, you can't put it back in the box. It's out there forever. Sometimes the reality is not as good as the fantasy. The fantasy is always better. So you've got to be 100% sure that you don't mind your girl getting rattled by another dude. You don't mind your husband having sex with another woman. Or you don't mind your wife having sex with another woman. Because remember this. You have to worry about other women, too. Other women will steal your girl. Gay marriage is legal, guys. They can leave you for another woman.
So now you've got your bisexual wife over here. You have to worry about not her leaving you for a man. You've got to worry about her leaving you for another woman. And I'm going to tell you this, what a woman can give your wife, we can't give. unfortunately you know as much as we try and I try to eat pussy well, I want to be the greatest pussy eater ever to live, you know, still sometimes it's no match for the mouth of a woman. So, you know, the interest is there. So, you know, like I said, communicate. Think before you get into this lifestyle, is it going to be right for you?
When one partner is more eager to explore and the other feels obligated to or hesitant, the experience can start to feel like a burden.
The less interested partner might feel they're compromising their values or comfort level just to please their partner, which can to feelings of regret and self-doubt yes uh i had a couple when i was living in florida working at caliente uh the female hated swinging she didn't want to swing she just wanted to find one guy to fuck and that was it her husband on the other case wanted to fuck all the women he wanted to swing and all that stuff and she was resentful she kind of hated it and i asked why do you why are you still married then she goes well they have a business together so they had a lot of issues to work out before but she did not want to swing anymore she just wanted to have one guy on the side to fuck she didn't want doing uh three somes four somes and stuff like that she didn't want to do that type of swing she just wanted to find one guy so she could fuck go back to her husband but the husband wanted to swing he wanted the multiple partners multiple female partners and all that stuff so you she it became very resentful i don't know what happened i left i don't know if they got divorced or what there's going on i'm probably guessing they probably got divorced because she really wasn't into it at all many couples in hindsight regret not discussing their individual comfort levels and what they hope to achieve from swinging before jumping in like when i talked when i talked to a partner i go this is what i want i love you going out and play with other men i don't really care about finding other couples but let's find some men for you to fuck all right what type of men you like yada and weada, yada, and we go out and find it.
If the woman's not into that stuff, then, you know, I kind of just like, well, we're not compatible. We got to go. We can't really partner up. So that's what you have to do. You have to discuss everything, what you're looking for. Be honest. If you say, tell your wife, hey, I just want to watch you with other women. Fine, that's it. I don't want to see you with another man or anything, another couple. I just want to see you with another woman. Let her know that. Then she can decide, okay, is that what she wants? Because she might want to be with other men and other women.
But also remember this. You got to keep talking about it because guess what happens to people? We get older. Our desires, our needs change. When I first started, it was all about me now at my right bro age of 48 it's all about her the woman and that's how it should be I had a I saw Facebook posts about gang bangs and what number if you're a man what number in the gang bang do you want to be one number one two three, three, four, five, whatever. I said it doesn't matter to me because it's all about the woman, and the woman comes first. That's how I feel.
I think we should listen to our ladies because our ladies are the ones that are allowing us to do this, and we should. But anyways, so you've got to be clear on what you're looking for, what you want. But also remember to keep on talking throughout. So if you're swinging, think about it, veteran swingers out there, if you've been swinging for 10 years, are your feelings the same as you did when you first started? Have they changed over time? Have your desires changed over time? So you've got to be very careful. You've always got to communicate that.
Another damage trust and relationship stability trust is the cornerstone of any relationship swing can put that trust to a test in unexpected ways couples often believe that swinging requires a high level of trust as they must be open and honest to each other throughout their experience however swinging can sometimes open a door to excuse me secrets hidden feelings boundaries. For instance, one partner may become more emotionally attached to a swinging partner than initially intended, leading to a perceived or real breach of trust.
In other cases, a partner might feel neglected or believe their needs aren't being met with the relationship as a result of swinging an arrangement. So let's talk about that. Initial may become emotionally attached to a swinging partner see me i tell all my partners future partners us swinging is all about sex when we go to a club we go to a house party go hotel takeover it's sex and sex only we're not there to make friends we're not there to create a relationship with another couple We are there to fuck that couple and say goodbye and move on with our lives.
We together are the love, the emotional bond. That couple, that single guy, that single female, they're just a fuck toy for us. Me and you are what we share the love and the emotional bond with. That's it.
If you can handle that we can be partners if you can't handle that we're not partners also feeling left out like i said before so many couples forget to when they get going they forget to they're married they got someone else with them they have to include that partner i'm always included in all my activities when she goes when the my partner goes off to play with a man or another couple i'm there i'm not sitting there in the at the bar while they're in the back fucking no i'm there supporting her helping her and enjoying watching her with other people but anyways so you know that way i would never feel neglected.
Now she went off by herself and started fucking around with other people yes i would feel neglected i'll be pissed off but i communicate that beforehand this is what i want this is what i need if you can't give it to me we can't be partners and so on and so on uh when the sense of trust is compromised couples may find it hard to return to a level of intimacy and security they once enjoyed. The experience of swinging rather than strengthening their bond as intended might instead reveal cracks in a relationship.
Couples who are unable to effectively communicate through these challenges might find themselves regretting their choice of swing and struggling to rebuild the foundation of a relationship. Yes, that's true. But you know what? There's also the counterpoint.
Yes, it it actually when they go through shit like this they actually could work through it and build a better bond a better relationship so sometimes it does where you know you fuck up but you learn from that fuck up and you make a better relationship i have met couples that said that they said they fucked up They didn't know what they were doing. But with the communication and work on it, they came back years later and they're better than ever. So, you know, that's something you know to think about. So all these things are there to think about. So hopefully you'll think about it.
I'll post a link if you want to read the article on my show description.
I'll also talk about, you know, I'll share the link with swinging uh swinging uh the i don't always say swinging but the tpc hemstead i'll show i'll give you that i'll put the links out there for you guys and all that stuff so you can see it but yeah so you know we all have regrets just make sure those regrets are not as bad as everyone else and hopefully it'll be fine but let's go back to reddit let's talk about we're on that subject of regrets here's one my husband convinced me to swing i think it broke us me and my husband have been together for five years he has two friends from college who are a couple uh they give their name i'm not gonna be them so on a couple a and b they're all been they have all been close since we met and i immediately liked them both and they really took to me as well i really feel like they are my friends too a while back they told me that they were in an open relationship and enjoyed swinging hmm now whenever this happens to you a couple, that means if a couple tells you they're in an open relationship and they're swingers, that means they want you to swing with them.
That's just cold. This was after we all had a few drinks and talked about how my husband was my first relationship and my first sexual partner. They knew that already. But this time, the talk got a bit more into specifics. They weren't pressuring me into anything, and I didn't feel like they were trying to get me into anything. So, let's take a look.
but this time the talk got a bit more into specifics they weren't pressuring me into anything and i didn't feel like they were trying to get me into anything i didn't think this thing was for me and honestly i still don't but they've been together many years and it works for them all power to them yes it works for them it doesn't necessarily mean it was going to work for you not every couple is the same well never well ever ever since they told me, my husband got kind of weird. Mike and Tina didn't really bring the subject up anymore, but my husband kind of just wouldn't let it go.
At first, he kept asking me if I thought Mike was good-looking or if I thought he was nice, and he kept enthusing about Tina, how Tina was so hot, and Tina was such a good wife and such a good friend, and so kind. Well, you know what he's trying to do? Fuck Tina. I knew he had a thing for Tina way back, but thought that was over since she was with Mike.
Then, he started talking about how hot it made him thinking about me with another man or another woman, and the talk would always get him really excited and we'd have sex i thought it was kind of i thought it was kind of off but he seemed happy excited so i let it be then his birthday rolled around and i asked him what he wanted he tells me he wants to watch out he wants to reach out to mike and tina to see if they're into swinging at first i wasn't really into it but he kept asking and begging We'll see you next time.
out he wants to reach out to mike and tina to see if they're into swinging at first i wasn't really into it but he kept asking and begging see this is the kind of the grit that i was talking about earlier where you know one person's into it more than the other this is where you as a man should say okay she's not my my girl ain't into it my wife ain't into it so let's back. He told me he was bored with our sex life and it needed spicing up. Well, that should start a fight.
This really hurt my feelings because there's a lot of stuff I wasn't really into, but let him do because I thought it made him happy. I wonder what it was. Whenever I asked him to do something, he'd shoot it down and say it made him uncomfortable. Anyway, he kept insisting and eventually and eventually i agreed this got him really excited and he told me not to worry about it and he'll talk talk it out with mike and tina and he'd make take care of everything i can't read and i was the best wife in the world which made me really happy because it's it's been a while since he was excited about me.
Oh, that's fucked up. So the day comes when we meet up to the house. Mike and Tina are being really sweet, and they keep checking comfort levels, and this is the problem, see? The way we did it was the first. Tina and me did some stuff as the men watched, and it was nice. I felt very sexy and very cared for, and Tina seemed really happy too.
Then Mike took me to the bedroom while my husband and tina stayed in the room and it was lovely mike was so attentive and so excited and again i felt really beautiful and really desired desirable we stayed there for apparently a really long time and i think i looked maybe too happy when we returned to the living room and when we returned it was kind of weird because Tina and my and my husband were just kind of sitting there on their phones and my husband looked kind of upset and he said something like oh finally and I said it was time to go home and I barely got a chance to say goodbye uh-oh something wouldn't wouldn't happen.
So ever since, my husband's been a bit weird. He doesn't talk about it anymore, and when I try to tell him about my time with Mike or ask about Tina, he shuts down. We really haven't talked to him since. We really haven't talked to them since. But also the sex drive is gone. The more times we, the few times we did have sex, I realize he doesn't really do it for me anymore. And it seems like he doesn't even want to try anymore. I met Tina a few days ago and we talked. I told her everything because I felt really alone in this and really wanted to talk to someone.
I asked her about what happened with my husband and she told me he just finished really quickly and wasn't really into satisfying her before or afterwards. Uh-oh. So what we have here is the husband is a selfish prick. He only cares about himself. He didn't give a fuck about the wife and he never thought it through. He was thinking with his little brain, which is his cock and not his big brain.
He never thought that Mike, the other husband, would fucking hit a that's what he did mike did his job mike you're innocent in this tina you're innocent in this mike did his job he fucked the shit out of his wife he fucking blew her back out made her happy made her feel sexy make her feel sexy make her feel desirable and his husband over here is upset because he's a two-pump chump and that's what that and that seems like to be a lot of guys nowadays in this lifestyle they're two-pump chumps and they don't understand their wives at all but anyways she wasn't really bothered and told me men were like that sometimes with her but she said he got distant and defensive and she didn't really want to talk to him anymore oh now but she thought i was lonely lovely and mike thought so too which made me feel really good about myself then she said she kind of got it through since i really what i since i really i was really into it and he just came along this got a literal excuse me what the fuck out of me then we talked some more and turns out my husband had been setting this up for weeks way before I agreed and he kept telling them he was doing this for me and I was really into it and kept assisting I brought it up and was really into it which was a total lie Then we talk more and more we talk the more i realize just how unsatisfying i am in my relationship both emotionally and sexually yep yeah dudes this can happen you like i said pandora's box open it up can't put it back in i don't think polyamory swinging open relationship is for me but i think being married to my husband isn't really for me either oh that sucks that sucks because someone hopefully there's no kids involved so they can have a clean split i don't want to be sound spoiler entitled but at the very least i think i deserve to be with a man who won't lie to me and who will make me feel love satisfied at least i don't know make Make an effort.
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Listen, I'm all for men. I'm pro men, but I think this lady has every right to be pissed off, and this guy is just a two-pump chump. I haven't talked to him about this yet. I just think I really need to put it into words before going ahead with this. So thank you for reading and wishing me luck. Well, you've got to think about what you want out of life. Go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick. Suck a dick, suck a huge or small dick. And you might be a freak. You might be something more than what you really think it is. She's a freak. Yep, she is.
She might be a freak. You might be into it more. She doesn't say she doesn't know she's into it or anything like that but hey whatever but i hope this i hope this all turns out for the best you know hopefully you don't have kids and you just make a clean break out of it and your husband i don't know what the fuck okay so he he schedules a a couple swap weeks we had before anything and stuff so i don don't know. So you got to be very careful, honey. Be very careful. Hello, Italian couple. Hope you're doing all well. Hope over in Italy, you know, hope everything's going well in Italy. Anyways.
So that's one area where it can destroy a relationship somewhere someone might have regrets and here's another one we'll go this will be the last one before we go oh another shit maybe not because it seems like a long one all right anyways struggling at their first swinging experience i tried posting this on another sub about swinging but i guess the mods didn't like it so here it goes my wife and i participate in our first lifestyle event two months ago it was a hotel takeover good awesome we had an awesome sex life prior to this and we're always open to new things we had discussed the ideal involving another person for people or people for several months my wife was interested in an open relationship that would allow us to have random hookups when the opportunity arose but i wasn't comfortable with that and hopefully you communicated that i said i wanted us to pursue sexual experience together not separately neither of us were are bi so adding just one guy or one girl didn't appeal to both of us so we're deciding on swing why not see that's where this is a fuck up number one you should have been open to singles because single men and single women because it just is easier trust me we go to the hotel takeover the whole way there my wife was saying how awkward this could be we agreed we just see what it is like and that we didn't have to do anything if we weren't feeling it your first time swinging is always going to be awkward just think about your first time having sex sex.
Awkward. It's not going to be cool. So, yes, couples out there are newbies. Maybe the first couple times is going to be awkward. Maybe the first couple years is going to be awkward, but it does get better. After some drinks, we hit it off with two other couples. We go back to one of their rooms for drinks, and at some point, my wife decided it was time.
She's standing there and is basically like, hey's do what we came here to do we came here for and i'm ready so she's there and just lays back on the bed in a way invite one of the other two guys to come over to get her uh she didn't look like look at me at all before i knew it one of the other guys on top of her and they're just going for it good okay that's what you came there for so i'm like okay i guess we're doing this the guy's wife starts giving me head good and the other couple are getting involved and things are rolling sounds like a good time however due to a combination of nerves and booze i was never able to get an erection dumb fuck you see this is the problem you don't listen to swinging single podcast because if you did you would know don't drink i had my best uh i did my best to participate in a three couple orgy but i kind of felt like a non-factor this is where you fucked up did you eat pussy i wonder if he did so let's see let's read some more because it's a lot what really got to me though was my wife she was just in it fucking and sucking and doing her thing with two other guys and playing zero paying zero attention to me oh there's the regret not paying attention to your partner at one point i was even asked to leave the room to go get lubed i leave come back knock on the door and it takes way too long for someone to answer the whole time i'm hearing my wife moaning in pleasure through the door all this sucks i feel bad for the guy but you know what you open pandora's box you get what you get one of the other guys mercifully comes to let me in and i walk into my wife is riding some guy back to the door having the time of her life uh she didn't even remember i was out of the room didn't turn around when i came back nothing i felt that the moment that she forgot all about me the rest of the night was okay there were many moments i look back on and feel fine about it mostly the ones of my wife and i together but those moments where my wife was fucking the other men without me being part of her pleasure have really bothered me after the fact i thought i made it clear to her before we did this that i wanted her to do it together but apparently we had different ideas of what that meant her mind, it seems as long as I was in the same building and not fucking anyone, we were somehow doing it together.
In my mind, she ended up doing what she wanted to do in the first place, and I said I wasn't comfortable with hooking up with other men on her own. I feel completely betrayed by her, and I can't get over it.
All right, I'm going i'm gonna stop there this guy has nothing to bitch about they were doing it together the key the reason why i come over that says i made it clear that before we would do this that i wanted to do it together but apparently we had different ideas of what that meant clearly because you could have done together, and this is why I think this guy is selfish, but apparently had different ideas what it meant. In her mind, it seems as long as I was in the same building and not fucking anyone, we were somehow doing it together.
In my mind, she ended up doing what she wanted to do in the first place. You were together. Just because you weren't able to perform doesn't mean your wife has to give up her fun. And you should have been a supportive husband and continue to do something. You have a mouth. You could have ate pussy. You could have ate all three. You could have ate your wife's pussy. You could have ate the wife A's pussy. You could have ate wife B's pussy. But yet you were angry because your little soldier couldn't salute because you got stupid. You didn't take a pill. Take a fucking blue pill.
Guys, if you need to drink so much, take a fucking blue pill. Take Viagra. Take Cialis. Do something. Don't drink. I tell you guys, don't drink because your dick is so important. And dick will always win. Anal? I don't know. Anyways. So he's upset. The wife's having a good time because all the wife has to do is get wet. And she can fuck. Get some lube. She can fuck. She don't have nothing. So the wife is having a good time. The wife is doing what she said. I don't think you have a legit grip, dude.
I think you are upset because you couldn't get hard and you couldn't play with the other women where your wife was a bell to ball. All right? So get over it. You don't have any reason to be angry at your wife. You should be angry at yourself because you couldn't get hard. Or you know what you should have done? If you couldn't get hard, you should have said, hey, honey, let's go. We're leaving. You should have got off your ass, been a man, and told your wife we're leaving, and let's go. And if she didn't want to leave, drag her ass out there.
If it's so important for you to fuck other women while she's fucking those guys, you should have done that. I don't condone violence, but I'm just saying. I'm not saying literally grab her by the hand. I'm just saying, you get her out of here. Cause a scene. Get them out. The last two months have resulted in some serious, depressive spells for me. I'm sorry about that, dude, but you know what? You open Pandora's box, you can't put it, you ain't gonna be able to put it back in. I sprouted in the days after the event. I cried, I got angry, I cried some more.
My wife's behavior that night revealed some serious insecurities I was harboring about myself and about my marriage yeah that you don't want to see your wife getting fucked I'm a guy who until two months ago never had mental health issues now I'm on antidepressants and anxiety meds for doing regular therapy both myself and with my wife like I said your wife had a good time because you couldn't salute your soldier and now you're taking antidepressants i think that's even worse now it's going to make your soldier worse you now are going to struggle with this where you know your wife really didn't do anything wrong she was having a good time you didn't communicate in the moment that what your needs were you should have told your wife hey let's go let's leave i'm struggling to forgive my wife on how she behaved that night she doesn't have to you don't have to i don't know dude why why is she what what she has to be forgiving about she said she agreed she wanted to do it on her own without you there you said no she agreed to it so you went to a hotel takeover you all you two were in the room together you two were playing she started She started fucking.
You were starting to get a blowjob. You couldn't get hard. You cried like a little bitch about it. Instead of using your mouth on all the women, you decided to pout about it.
She now is my pain without taking responsibility for causing it or apologizing for her actions she tried to console me saying she didn't even find other guys that attract them yes all right so what that's kind of stupid they weren't that hard the sex wasn't that good and she was freaking and she was faking all the sounds i heard no she wasn't she's now i'm gonna tell you this life's bullshit right now that's all bullshit she enjoyed it she had a great time as my pain continued through she lost her patience and started getting defensive saying And she didn't. Now, I'm going to tell you this.
Life's bullshit right now. That's all bullshit. She enjoyed it. She had a great time. As my pain continued through, she lost her patience and started getting defensive, saying she didn't do anything wrong. I don't think she did. I think you guys are so poorly communicated. She just did what we went there to do. I need to stop blaming her for how I feel. I feel like she wronged me, but she won't admit any wrongdoing and that she won't apologize. And now our marriage is on the rocks and our sex life is non-existent. You have to get over it. I'm sorry, but listen, you wanted to swing together.
You didn't want to do it separately. She told you separately because guess what? She was going to have a good time. She don't need, listen, guys, this is just an example. Women don't need us. We need the women in this lifestyle. So you got mad because she was having a good time. You weren't having a good time because your soldier couldn't salute. You couldn't get hard. Well, did you tell her, let's go? Honey, let's go. We need to go.
You you didn't and now you're upset because you've you both failed in communication so now i ask am i overreacting yes you're overreacting you failed at communication work on this for the next time if you decide to do it i say do not swing anymore because if you're so worried that you're what because if you have erection problems now, they're just going to continue. So I suggest you don't do it. If you want to open up your relationship, do it by yourself. Now, this is what's going to happen. When you open up your relationship, guess what's going to happen?
She's going to get more action than you. You're going to get angry. So the way you are now, I suggest both of you go see therapy and do not swing and do not open up your relationship. If your relationship and your marriage is that important, do not open it up. Why do I feel she betrayed me? Because you weren't getting any action. If you were fucking, your dick got hard, and you were fucking all those other girls, you would even have noticed your wife.
You would have done the same thing your wife did to you where she didn't notice you or at least you think she didn't notice you and it's hard i genuinely wondering how to get over this or if i will be able to it's going to take time it's not going to be months it might take years i don't want this to ruin your marriage but i just can't look at her the same anymore well the problem was swinging can ruin marriages you didn't listen to swinging single podcast when i told you swinging can ruin marriage you probably listened to other podcasts when i told you oh swinging is gonna uh make your relationship stronger it's gonna build a bigger bond no swinging can destroy your marriage.
Swinging can also make those, your bond greater, your marriage greater, your relationship greater. But it can destroy it just as much as it can make it greater. I feel like the only chance we have of moving forward is my wife apologizing and takes full responsibility for not acting that even in the way we had discussed.
Once again, I don what did you guys discuss you're leaving that out i cannot give you a full assessment i cannot give you my full assessment of what went on of what you should do if you don't be honest with us all right you saw two other couples you hit it off you wanted to go fuck those other couples you go in the room your wife says fuck it let's start because your wife is right you're there to fucking for sex so go have sex she's having fun you get your dick sucked by someone your dick can't get hard you can't fuck you get angry because your wife's over there fucking having a great time of her life.
What's the problem? You should have, ah, well, you're not, okay, whatever, dude. You need to, you need, seriously, you need definitely get some help because I don't understand what you're angry about. You brought this on yourself. You wanted to swing together. She wanted to swing without you. She wanted to do it without you. She just wanted to go out to a bar, find a guy, fuck him, and go home to you. You didn't want that. She did what she wanted to do, but you're acting like you're the victim.
My wife and I did an orgy, and my wife paid a bunch of attention to the other men, and none of them did not feel the change. It happens. It's going to happen. It's going to happen again. You just got to realize it's not about you, bro. It's about your wife. But anyways, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, go to swingandsinglepodcast.com. I'm going to, oh, the guy deleted his profile. Swingandsinglepodcast.com, or go to SwingSinglePodcast at gmail.com and all that stuff. And if you got any advice for this marriage, dude, give it to me.
Maybe I'm too harsh, but I just feel like he fucked up. I feel like he's the one that fucked up and stuff like that. So, I don't know. Whatever. But anyways. It's time to get on and out of here. It's been an hour you hear me. You're probably bored of me already. Anyways, go to swingandsinglepodcast.com. And go to swingandsinglepodcast.com. At gmail.com. And shave your cock and balls, gentlemen.
Have a great great week hope to see you guys soon somewhere somehow and remember if you're in the houston area go to tpc hempstead worth the price of admission baby keep on swinging everybody and have a wonderful weekend We're into the night, but I don't need to wake up by your side, chips in the night. I wanna be the girl on my shoulder, I wanna be the angel when it's over, you'll get lucky like a 40-year-oldover Baby, I'm a holly to your joker I wanna be there forever on your shoulder I wanna be the angel when it's over You'll get lucky like a four-leaf clover Baby, I'm a holly to your joker
