E2: Finding Your Tribe

Transcript

hello you beautiful people i am jr and i'm d we have been in the lifestyle for seven plus years and we're here to share our sexy stories and experiences if you you're not 18, this podcast is not for you. And if you are, please go visit LifestyleLinks.com. That's L-Y-N-X. So welcome to episode two of our Lifestyle Links podcast. Yes. And the first thing we're going to start with is, what have we done lately? What have we done lately? So, we were just this past weekend at an epic hotel takeover party. I remember now. Yes, right. It's fresh in his mind, trust me. Yeah, right, exactly.

I'm just pretending, actually. So it was Friday and Saturday night, and Friday night was kind of low-key. Yeah, but good. It was really good. It was just the two of us, and we got to connect with some of our friends that we know very well. And then Saturday during the day, we were getting ready for our game show that we present right and it was wheel of fornication okay i was gonna say before you say that we usually do a lifestyle family feud with the whole projector and the board and the questions and And the buzzers, survey says. With this whole buzzer system, we're insane, actually.

But this one was really cool because we created puzzles that had to be solved that were all like naughty lifestyle answers. Yeah, wheel of fornication. Right. That's unfortunate. And everybody loved it. I mean, it was like super fun.

And girlfriend yes m that's her initial that was her initial she came we had dinner together we did it was great it was awesome right in the hotel it's fantastic exactly and then she helped us she was like creating the name badges she was like our wendy white but we had if somebody landed on a free or a wild card, we had these actual things and she would like take them up to them. And it was funny. I was running the PowerPoint. And of course, JR was the host. As usual. Exactly. As per usual. But people love it.

And then the winner, whoever had the highest score, got like a prize it was great super fun and then there was a band well there was a comedian group right after us it was a comedy thing yeah there was like three comedians well i was rushing to get our shit the ballroom because i had a big way for them so like packing all my stuff up quick and previously when we were setting up like there was a bunch of people doing speed dating right right before us there's like 300 people doing speed dating some putting microphones up and laying wires down and doing gaff tape and all this like speed dating right but it was such a big turnout for the speed dating it was they had They had to close the doors.

Yeah. Like, they were filled. So, I mean, the people that went to speed dating, they loved it. And it's such a great opportunity to meet new people. And we're going to talk about, in our subject, we're going to talk about finding your tribe. And that is one way to find your tribe. Is that our subject tonight? That will be our subject, yes. And we've gotten a lot of requests for that. Right. So we kind of put out our podcast to all the lifestyle folks we know, and there was a girl who responded, and she said, I really want to know more about finding your tribe.

So that's going to be our subject. Yeah. It's for you. But we're going to go back, though, for a minute to our fabulous weekend. One of the fun things that happened is that the single girl that was with us is experienced in the lifestyle. Very, very good. Excellent. Right. And she knows people, and she's very comfortable. So it's not just she was with us. We got the opportunity to have her be with us and our other friends, which actually worked out really nice. There was our one friend who was going around. He's like, okay, in a little bit, come up and meet us in room 428.

And the cool thing is that we had gotten our friends we arranged it so that they had a suite so we knew that it was going to be like a nice crowd of people that we knew and we knew that everybody's going to be comfortable with each other and it was going to be an orgy yeah and we're going to talk about that about our tribe how kind of we cultivate that and bring people in and do things for them like giving them a good suite in the hotel yeah so yeah help them out you know so in any case the dance party was really good and then our friend a was like inviting other people back to these other people's suite and i'm like are you sure that's cool he's like oh yeah that's cool that's fine yeah and they had a jacuzzi suite right it was jacuzzi and there's people in the jacuzzi hanging out it was like really cool and you know that really neat thing was is that we knew people there you know so it was very comfortable instantly it was and and we knew people that we've engaged yeah we've been with them before we haven't some people we had just had dinner with and talked to right and we've you know which is always nice yeah like you know them but you haven't had the chance to be with them yet exactly which is always a neat thing like you've gotten along so you know it's probably going to go well But in any case...

But you never know. Yeah, you never know. You never know. So in any case. But you never know. Yeah, you never know. You never know. So, in any case, actually, our single girl that was with us was, like, the one that started it out. Oh, yeah. She was, like, everybody loves her. She was, like, so, like, everybody was kind of talking. There was people in the hot tub. And nobody was really having sex yet. And then, like, B yes. And she's like the first one on the bed and she's going at it with him and she's, she makes noises. So, and they're really good noises by the way, like really good ones.

I've been there right now Exactly No, she's expressive Which is great You want that So as a guy, you want that You want women that talk to you back Tell me what you want Because I want to give you what you want And it's the affirmation Of knowing that what you're doing Feels good for them So she's really good at that And I'm kind of like talking to my one girlfriend A Of A and J I'll see you next time.

you're doing feels good for them so she's like really good at that and and i'm kind of like talking to my one girlfriend a of a and j and our there was another single girl there that had brought a new guy right that we hadn't met before you doing here? Are you relaxing? Let's get up the program. They had an adjoining suite with some friends. Right. So one suite was a jacuzzi suite, and the next one was like a two-bed. Was two double beds. Yeah. Or two queens. It was a huge play area. Right. So it was awesome. Multiple play areas. Right.

And then R&r come in oh yes and they are like super hot super hot they're like super fit so i take one of the r's yeah the female i know i went first what are you talking about you went first i took the i took the man or you took rm or male yeah Yeah, the RM, yes, the male version. And he's got the most beautiful smile, and he's just so energetic and kind. And I started, I go in with the male partner. It was so good. I'm not easy to orgasm.

I'm kind of a difficult person to orgasm but because i felt comfortable with him and it was just me and him and then jr came in with the female i came in with the female our person with the female who you've been with before as well and we're on the same bed right no we had separate beds no was it i'm not sure do i remember oh my god what's a one bed or two i don't care it might have been a king i don't care what do i care i don't know but i actually i actually orgasm oh look at you i was like whoa i was able you know part of it is being comfortable like i know the person.

I feel comfortable, whoa. You know, part of it is being comfortable. Like, I know the person. I feel comfortable with it. I'm able to let myself go. So it was a very, very good experience. Nice. It was good. And then I went back into the room, and it was someone else on the other bed. Right, a girl that— I started to fool out her. Right, right. We've had dinner with her.

Right, but we didn't know the husband this was the first time husband was not there last right because she's good friends with the people that had the suite exactly and and i had met her dinner like previously a couple months before right right yeah so oh she was laying out by herself so i figured hey what the hell you know so he jumped in yeah sure yeah absolutely and the husband was there with you he was We'll see you next time. So I figured, hey, what the hell, you know? So yeah, it worked out nice. So he jumped in. Yeah, sure. Yeah, absolutely. And the husband was there with you. He was.

Which was kind of cool. And he was like helping out with me, like, because he knew what she liked. It was like, okay. So I'm straight, but I'm not homophobic, you know? So he was like. Coaching and helping. Yeah. Which was, yeah. It was great. That was a successful hookup as well right and it's always nice like when you get to be with somebody new we knew her and we just hadn't met the husband yet there was a whole party going on the party floor they call it the party floor there's a they have a dj and a different room they have food and all kinds of the after party yeah so. Yeah.

So we go back to our room. Now we're with the three of us. Right. Now he gets to be with the single female. And sometimes I join because most of our single female friends are bi. And I'm somewhat bi. I'm not like full on bi, like go out and date a girl separately. But typically I'm bi, bi-friendly. I'm not, like, full-on bi, like, go out and date a girl separately. But typically, I'm bi, bi-friendly, actually, definitely more than just bi-curious. But for some reason, I just felt like, hmm, I think I need to let them be alone. Yeah, so she's like a squirter, and I love that. Oh, my God.

I'm very organic. I like that kind of thing so my god no so the next morning oh my god so yeah actually it's probably the next afternoon i'm like so how did it go with him and he's like it went really well i said did you make her squirt and he said yes and i'm like oh that's cool and then he says what did i say i said yeah right on my face i, that's cool. And then he says. What did I say? I said, yeah, right on my face. I said, that's nice. Well, yeah. Who says that? Who says that? It was so funny. There's no vanilla person that's going to say, oh, yeah, that's great.

Yeah, I'm like, good for you. Yeah. But she was awesome. And it was such a good time for all of us to be together. And we were happy to share the party. Yeah, because we've been with her before. And she's great. She's great. Thank you. And it was such a good time for all of us to be together. And we were happy to share the party. Yeah, because we've been with her before. And she's great. She's great. And our other lifestyle friends really like her too. Yeah. So tribe-wise, which we're going to get into, that's very important.

Everybody likes each other and agrees with each other and is comfortable with each other. Right. Gets along. It's on the same page. Exactly. Yeah. So that along, is on the same page. Exactly. Yeah, so that's our next segment as requested. Right. And that's going to be a good one as well. So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Said I'm all about it. Yeah, I'm all about it. Said I'm all about it. Yeah. Said I'm all about it. Yeah, I'm all about it.

so welcome back and now we're going to talk about our subject of how to find your tribe the what where how and why so we're going to talk about what first what that is is the criteria to look for when trying to find your tribe and the first thing is that we look for is age you know it's age appropriate you got to be sort of in the same age range maybe you know plus or minus 10 15 years so that's that's a first thing and then personality are you going to get along with people? You know, do your personalities mesh? Right. Commonality. You know, you have some things in common with them.

Maybe you're from the same geographical area, went to the same sort of type of high school or college, have the same kind of degree, person. So commonality is amazing. Yeah. And then the next thing is intelligence. So, like, intelligence is, like, super important for me. Right. And I love nerdy guys. Oh, yeah, okay. That's not me. So, okay. No. He has a math degree. He's a nerd. Yeah. I put this whole electronic thing together for the podcast, so I guess so. All right, fine. Yeah. And then the next thing is? Education level kind of plays into it a little bit.

Maybe not as important as age and personality commonality, but education level, we find in a lot of people are very educated. Right. It's just the way it is. Yeah. And from all different, you know, we have girlfriends that are nurses and teachers and… Airline pilots. Right. And scientists and, you know, so it's really cool. I mean, I'm always looking for intelligence and, you know… We actually have one friend who is actually a rocket scientist. He is. That's right. He is a rocket is a rocket. He's a current rocket scientist. Exactly. So the next thing is emotional maturity.

And this is your ability to recognize yourself, be able to talk about your own feelings, and also as a person to be able to see other people. So emotional maturity is being comfortable with yourself and being comfortable with the world. Right. And authenticity. What I mean by that is, you know, we know a lot of people that are married couples, you know, 15, 20, 30 years, some people, you know. Right. Or couples that have been together for a while.

Yeah or what i'm talking about authenticity is you run into posers and fakers you know you meet them and it's kind of obvious they're like they're married to other people but they're there as cheaters just the two of them so you gotta be careful with that and this is the way these are our criterias right you can come up with your own criteria of like what's important to you so um and rank them differently right yeah so we're giving you these categories but you know you you decide like what's important when you meet somebody like what do you want them to be like so for me i work a lot so professional commonalities i, I love talking to people about my work.

I love hearing about their work. Very exciting for me. You've heard the term HWP, which is height, weight, proportional. Now, some people, it's more important to others. Some people, it's not. But it's something to consider. You know, a lot of our group are kind of the same build, the same physical attributes. But some people, it's not important. Yeah, it's lots of different sizes and shapes, and they're all beautiful. Just something to consider. Yeah, and whatever you like is what's so important about that.

And then the last thing thing is geographic locations you can decide to find people that live close by which we kind of do which helps yeah yeah because we get to see each other a lot then you know so for us it's probably like a two hour radius yeah but we also have friends that live far away that we've met like on cruises and things right they live in australia but for the regular kind of day-to-day life so you you keep that in mind too i mean we stretch geographic locations all the time like because if somebody's really hot and they're a great couple we're like we're driving yeah or we'll go visit them they'll visit us exactly because we have friends from all over the country okay the next thing is the where right where do we go to find our tribe exactly first i'm going to say is everyone knows sls stc cassidy the normal sites that people you know put their profile on and post pictures and such, that's not really the best place to find your tribe.

Maybe you start there and we find it's very difficult there because people are not what they think they are. The pictures are old. So we'll get into where to find people. But there are exceptions. There mean it does happen yeah so we're not saying don't do sls or scc or cats you have to do that actually yeah you have to have a profile at least but can't set your expectation so high that that's where you're going to find your people only do we find you can't only do that there if you want to establish a tribe. Now, some people don't establish tribes. Right. But they just go on there.

But if you want a tribe. One of the first places that we feel very confident and have had lots of success is actually at lifestyle clubs. Lifestyle clubs. And whether it's in philadelphia or atlantic city or florida or new orleans or because we go to a lot of lifestyle clubs but our favorite one lately is a club in new jersey it's been a year and a half or so it's charisma the charisma and great club. A lot of people go there. We go there with a majority of our tribe. I'll send out an email blast or a text message blast that says we're going there on next weekend. Let's meet there, and we do.

We'll go like 30 strong.

And the cool thing, though, is that if you're new and you don't have a tribe you show up and you'll meet all sorts of people and it lets you see them face to face in person you get to see what they look like you get to have a conversation and you get to find out hey is this somebody that we're gonna click with right exactly house parties now we have a lot of house parties uh maybe i don't know three or four a year right we have a standing new year's eve party but we'll have uh some parties on uh on jr's big deck right outside or or we did a luau get laid get laid on jr's exactly but we encourage you to do house parties because again it's that in-person experience you get to meet them you get to kiss them you get to have a conversation you get to hey you know you get to know them yeah so house parties are great and we'll go to other people's house parties we spoke of one on yeah last episode yeah about yeah which is great and hey we have them and we go to them and it's the way to find your people it is because then you're really up close and personal and you can talk and it's great hotel takeovers yeah we go to a lot of hotel takeovers whether it's in philly or new jersey and not just share nation no friction yeah and there's ipg and there's the fairfield west gentric swingers fwcs they're a really good group and then there's besides hotel takeovers there's groups that actually do location takeovers there's lots of groups that do that and they're crazy fun and you get to spend time with people you meet them in person it's an amazing way to meet people exactly cruises we love the bliss cruise i have to say that right away we've met so many great couples from all over the world on the Bliss Cruise that we are still friendly with.

Right. And we've met local people. Right. But we meet people from Canada and Australia and Texas and Wyoming. And then we stay in touch with them. And it's amazing. And then other vacations, too. You've got all those lifestyle resorts, whether it's Hedo or Caliente or it's Desire, you know, those are places to meet other great lifestyle people. Right. And you do find people that are from your general location as well in those places. Right.

We have this crazy story, actually, where we met our girlfriend, Bea, actually in New Orleansleans at a lifestyle club and i like start talking to her and she's like well i'm from allentown pa and i'm like i know where that is and so like we were in this other town but we don't live that far from each other yeah you know she's one of my dearest friends yeah we get together all the time yeah she though. Yeah. We get together all the time. Yeah. She's like a core tribe person. Exactly. And then meet and greet events, a lot of those will be posted. And again, it's all about meeting in person.

You know, it's like we talked about how JR and I met, and, you know, we met on Match. And, oh, my God, does she look like her pictures? You know, he's freaking out. But at a meet and greet, you get to see them see them like you get to have a conversation with them right and you can join certain groups and communities for instance this podcast and other podcasts you can join the podcast community keep in touch with people and communicate with people and you may find people people for your tribe there as well. So there's a lot of lifestyle podcasts that actually will prepare for an event.

They'll have people listen to the other podcasts. They'll have people come and get together. And a lot of these other podcasts create vacations and events. And before they actually go on these vacations and events they'll host zoom meetings you get to meet each other before you go you get to email each other and kind of connect with and establish a bond with these people before you actually meet them in person which makes that like a super warm-up kind of thing.

Yeah, and there's also Facebook and Instagram, private groups that you could join and meet people, send messages, and use Facebook Messenger to talk to people and get together. Yeah, and Instagram. Instagram, yeah. So these are kind of the where to go to find other people that are like you. And now we're going to move into the how. Right. So we're going to explain a little bit about the how. And the main thing is to just be outgoing and introduce yourself. Right. If we're at a club, we'll see a couple. They're huddled in the corner, they look scared.

We'll go over where you're from, have you been here before, where they usually go, and try to introduce them to the people we're with. And then the other really cool thing is about the wingman. Right. We have a couple, that's really the guy.

He'll text me, hey, I hey i got this couple we met this couple they'd be great for our group you know check them out and they'll give me their sls profile this and that and if they vet them we'll invite them to a club or the next thing we're doing or a house party and usually most of the time 90 it works out right and that's all about the next thing is friends of friends that's right right so we encourage our friends when we're having a house party we're going to a hotel takeover we're going to a lifestyle club we're like yeah bring your friends too absolutely because normally their friends are going to be like us and and we're gonna like their friends because we like them and they like this other couple right so we're gonna like them probably yeah it normally works out after you've done all that you've got this group of people you got to be inclusive and stay in touch what we mean by that is invite them to things.

If you're organizing a trip to like that club I was talking about, Charisma, in where we live, you want to include all those people. Or if you're going to a house party, you invite your other friends like, hey, I'm going to this house party. You want to come with me? So it's that communication and being exclusive. And the other thing, if we go back just a minute, when you're at one of those new places, it's so important because JR and I have couples cards, because you can't usually have like a phone. It's not like you can get their number or their email because you don't have your phone.

So we have cards and it has our picture and our SLS profile and it has our website. It has all that information because if we like them, we're going to give them our card and we're going to hope that they reach out to us. Yeah, we have our podcast and website on the card so they can stay in touch with us.

Even before we had a podcast or a website, we a couple's card that's right it's really kind of from the cruises on the cruise like everybody's got a card right you should have your uh cabin number on it right right but we we carry that like through life you know we always have a couple's card on us which is super fun but back to the be inclusive and stay in touch is that jr has been ingenious with once we find friends and we get along with them and we've been with them or even not but we'd like to be with them kind of thing he's been able to be the data collector i have a database of everybody which includes male female name your phone numbers there are like a sls profile name and email addresses and why is that important there are electronic applications out there that you can send an invite like a bulk invite by email right and we do that yeah we do that whenever we have a house party it goes through evite evite or a text message application right that you can text people bulk text messaging and you do it from your pc or your mac it uses your phone right you're doing it from a pc and max it's so much easier right so we're going to charisma this Saturday, and he makes one text message, and he personalizes.

He says, hey, you know, it's JR&D. We're going to be Charisma on Saturday. I hope you can join us. When you have that technology, it makes it easier. So much easier.

For you to keep up with everybody, because it's so important to keep them close close to you like the more you communicate with them and the more you're inclusive the better friends they'll become with you okay so now the last piece is why i'm gonna let you take it why why do you want to do this right well some people don't actually want to drive i know like some people just want to hook up for one night and they'll never meet them again. They put out hot dates and they're like random. But other people, exactly. You know, and like this thing, like you talk about the cavemen.

Well, it's human nature. Humans have always been in the tribe mentality and the tribe organization.

So it really from from our DNA from our souls that we want to have a tribe we want to be part of a group we want to be accepted and be in that situation so that's the human nature part of it for the other thought of it is that it enhances your sexual experience when you're able to be with people that you're very comfortable with and you're very you have a lot of commonality with that you've met it allows you to explore new sexual things and it promotes comfort level it's more warm you've met the person before and it's just a more familiar right and you can be a little bit more crazy because they know who you are and you get to be more free i mean i think right i think you get to be more free because they know you and they like you and they trust you you trust them.

And it's this very symbiotic kind of like, ooh, yeah, let's have fun. And it's friendship. We establish friendships through this. It's not just about sex. Sex is sort of secondary almost. Right. Well, it's normally good sex. Yeah, but really, it's the friendship. We have so many friends. We have close to 200 people that we're on a database. We actually don't have that. You know, not that we have sex with. That's what I'm talking about. That's the second one I'm talking about. Do we get to have sex with 200 people? No, not really. No. All right, maybe 150. But that's kind of our database.

When we we invite people that's what we're inviting yeah yeah and we do vanilla things with our lifestyle friends as well we do yeah which is amazing i mean we actually don't have any vanilla friends all of our friends are lifestyle people we do like life things with those folks as well exactly birthday parties and baby showers and weddings and you know so for us it's like our tribe is like so important and so crucial to our happiness that's right yeah so that's really what we're talking about and now that we've given you the what, where, how, and why, go out there and find your tribe.

And if you have any questions or want to add comments and feedback to our topic, please hit us up on our website at LifestyleLinks.com. That's L-Y-N-X. Okay, now let's talk about what we're doing next. In an effort to expand our tribe. Continually. Yeah tribe we do we go to different things so that's what we're going to talk about where we're doing and what we're doing next right where are we going so this saturday night we're going to go to charisma yes which is a great club we know the owner and years yes well the clubs it's new and He has done such a great club. Really good.

We know the owner. For years? Yes. Well, the club, it's new. And he has done such a great job. It's beautiful. The facility is beautiful. It's clean. It's clean. And he keeps expanding it. Yes. He's doing improvements like crazy. He's impressive. All the time. Right. So that's this weekend. And then in the future, we have a trip coming up to New Orleans. We do. Right? We're going with like some, there's going to be five couples. Five couples from our tribe. Right, from our tribe. And then we're going to go to Queens. Yeah, Queens, it's the Fairfield Westchester Swingers Group.

Right, but they're doing it in Queens. They're doing Queens, New York, yeah. And it's a club.

Right right it's like a club takeover kind of thing takeover that's gonna be fun right and there will probably be other things that we will squeeze in because we do a lot of lifestyle stuff so those two we just mentioned are in april so we'll talk about that in the april podcast as well In a little more detail yes but and again if you have events that you want everybody else to know about please go to our website and tell us about it and we'll share it with the audience it behooves you because if you tell us what's going on and we put it in our website more people are going to find out and you're going to connect with more people.

Right. And hell, we might even come down. We might even be there. Or go out or wherever you are. We might want to show up too. Right. There you go. All right, people. I think that wraps it up. Yep. We'll be talking to you soon. We will. Bye-bye, you beautiful people. And if you have any questions or want to add comments and feedback to our topic, please hit us up on our website at lifestylelinks.com. That's L-Y-N-X. We'll see you next time.