Episode 6: Lifestyle Costs and the Benefits of Hosting

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care about the swinger lifestyle from a male perspective. Mine. I'm Evan, and I'm half of a lifestyle couple. The other half is my lovely wife, Eva. Now, we've been in the lifestyle for approximately three years at the time of this recording. we're both in our late 40s, but we are honestly having more fun now than we had in our 20s and 30s combined.

The lifestyle has opened up a whole new world of enjoyment and entertainment and discovery, and it's also brought us closer as a couple. I can honestly say that Eva and I are best friends. We share everything together and the lifestyle really emphasized and and put an exclamation point on that. Through the lifestyle we have we learned a great deal about our sexuality. We've made amazing friends and have had amazing experiences. So that's what this podcast is all about. If you're joining in for the first time, welcome. I hope you will check out my previous episodes.

If I could recommend it, I would say go back to episode one. It talks about our background and how we got into the lifestyle. But I'm doing this podcast and I'm recording a whole bunch this week. I'm a teacher and I'm on spring break. So I wanted to build up a foundation for the podcast so people can can start off with a bunch of episodes if they're interested. But after my spring break is over, I'm going to kind of resort to like every other week type of thing.

So my podcast episodes, the, the timing will be reduced, but anyway, uh, I, But anyway, I would like to just share these experiences with anyone who'd like to listen in hopes that it might help them on their journey through the lifestyle. I was inspired by other podcasts, so I thought, you know what? I'm going to do one too. Who knows? Maybe I can inspire others. And even if I don't, perhaps others can learn from my experiences or our experiences. Even just hearing about them as a form of entertainment.

So far, I've been recounting our experiences chronologically from the beginning of our journey. So if you're listening for the first time, again, I highly recommend that you stop listening right now and go back to episode one. Um, as I tell these tales of, of our experiences, I try to let listeners know what we learned from them. Because we learn something new almost every single time, good or bad. Now, one thing we have learned overall is that the lifestyle is expensive. So let me talk about some of the expenses you may not realize are there for the lifestyle. Number one, body maintenance.

Now, Eva and I both feel that we need to look our absolute best. We obviously want to be attractive to others, but we also want to know that we look good, you know, like to ourselves, because that is a huge confidence boost. And we feel like we owe it to the other couples that we're meeting.

You know, we want them to have the best time possible with us so we might as well bring our a game when it comes to our appearance so you know we're both pushing 50 here so we already have an uphill battle now what i'm about to tell you i'm sure is not necessarily the norm so i don't want anybody listening to this thinking that to be a part of the lifestyle you have to do this stuff you have to do what we do okay this is just what makes us feel comfortable this is this is just the stuff that we like to do that we find important it certainly isn't completely necessary for me i dye my beard I'll see smell my best.

And that's about it for for me I'm pretty low maintenance when it comes to products you know I don't have to buy a lot of products to to maintain I I am bald so I don't even need to worry about shampoo now Eva though she has regular electrolysis appointments. She waxes. She has about every type of lotion or cream you can think of. Plus, she likes to get a spray tan prior to any lifestyle event, whether it's vanilla meet and greet or a trip to the club or a play date, whatever. So that adds up over time. Wardrobe, that's my next topic.

Lifestyle clubs and events like hotel takeovers, they usually have themes. So Eva and I have spent a lot of money on costumes and outfits for these events. For example, our recent St. Patrick's Day takeover, she bought two new dresses, shoes, and hair accessories. And then I bought shamrock glasses, suspenders, a rainbow tie, and some other accessories myself. I mention these because these are things we wouldn't have normally purchased had we not been going to a lifestyle event. So these are purchases that we decide to make to enhance our involvement in the lifestyle.

Then you have gas and travel. Okay, now where we live, you know, we don't live near, near a really big city, the clubs, the parties, uh, all these other events, they're oftentimes located, or I should say, usually located near the bigger cities. Um, for us, that would be Columbus or Cincinnati. Most of the people we meet in the lifestyle, they live about an hour away. Because they live closer to the big cities, the higher populations. So that gas adds up. Dinner and drinks. If you're meeting a couple, chances are you'll have dinner and drinks somewhere.

At least that's what we like to do first. So maybe that's a date night that you normally would not have had with just your regular partner. So that's an added expense right there.

And just the other day, Eva and I went to a restaurant and the two of us, just a casual restaurant we we had a dinner each i had a burger she had salmon um we had an appetizer and then one alcoholic drink each and it was over 73 plus tip so we spent almost a hundred dollars uh just on a lifestyle date now i'm sure if you're listening to this in, um, I don't know, like West coast or East coast or Florida or Chicago or something like that, you know, you're, you might be snickering when you hear, Oh, we only spent a hundred dollars on dinner. That might be low to you guys.

But for us out here in mid, in the midwest that's a lot of money protection condoms cost money there is a cost to being safe now we start to get some of the larger costs apps and sites now in order to meet people Most, like Eva and myself will most will pay for subscriptions to lifestyle apps or websites and those can get pricey I've seen plenty that are $30 a month but you have to have a way to meet others in the lifestyle you can't you know just stand outside a restaurant with a sign somewhere that says hey we're swingers want to fuck you know so Thank you. to meet others in the lifestyle.

You can't, you know, just stand outside a restaurant with a sign somewhere that says, hey, we're swingers, want to fuck? You know, so you have to have some way to meet people. And a lot of the sites out there and apps, they do have free memberships, you know, free options, but oftentimes they don't allow you certain features. And one of the most important features is messaging. So you have to upgrade. So you end up shelling out more money just to be able to get to the messaging feature. So all these sites out there, they cost money. And Eva and I belong to a couple of them.

So that's a lot of cash that we're throwing out there just to have the opportunity without not even a guarantee but just an opportunity to meet people next testing all right eva and i we get tested for stds or stis uh screened i guess you'd say we get we get screen to four times a year. Now, insurance helps, but we usually find ourselves paying out of pocket, at least for some. It's going to be different in different areas, I get it, but I can tell you what we paid here in Ohio. The last time Eva got tested, which was last month, she paid $110. Now, again, there are different options for this.

They have mail-in tests. They have clinics like Planned Parenthood, doctor's office tests. So this cost will vary, as will insurance coverage. But I'm still going to list the cost because we paid $110 out of pocket just for her last month. And I can't remember what I paid because I just got tested as well. Now, another thing you might pay for is a club membership. If you want to attend a club or go to one of their events, you usually have to be a member.

And here in Ohio, the two clubs that we have visited cost us around a hundred bucks each year for membership that's that's for a couple so a hundred bucks total and then you have the club events so once you're a member and you want to attend an event now you have to buy tickets to the event so across the country i'm sure it's going to be different but where we are in ohio you're looking at spending around like 70 bucks for a couple to attend an event at a club and now the big one the vff now that's just a silly little acronym i use it stands for for venue for fucking.

If you want to have a play date, well, you have to have a place to play. And a lot of people can avoid this by playing at a club. All right. So, you know, they have playrooms at these sex clubs. You can get a room and play there. But I can't do that. My anxiety prevents me. All right. There's, there's just too many distractions for me. There's music pumping in the background. There's voices in the next room. I get thoughts in my head, like how well do they really clean these rooms? So those start creeping into my head.

So Eva and I, I we like to to get a hotel room or an Airbnb after a night at the club and unfortunately I am picky about hotels so a decent one for us will run us about another $150 now again that's just a decent hotel nothing special. And again, we're talking the Midwest area, the Ohio area. So, so you might be listening to this from another part of the country thinking you paid $150. That's so cheap. Well, for us, it's a lot of money. So a typical lifestyle date, you know, figuring in the cost of dinner, gas, protection, and a VFF, it will probably cost about $300.

And that adds up over time. You know, if you want to do multiple trips to the club, multiple playdates, multiple hotel rentals, that is going to add up really quick. But you know what really helps? What really helps hosting or finding play partners that can host now what we've run into is we've found people who they're empty nesters that's a big help so they have have the house to themselves or they have a multiple home situation. So their kids are not with them one weekend. So they have the house to themselves. That's fantastic. Eva and I, we still have kids here at the house.

We've actually hosted twice just by luck. Our kids were doing something else like band camp or something. I can't remember exactly what, but we were able to host twice so far. We really want to do more, but we can't do that until our kids have moved out. And that is going to be another couple of years. So that is going to lead into my next story, which is our first experience at someone's home. That means, you know, someone hosted us. So if you listened to my last episode, our last experience in December of 2021 was interesting to say the least.

It created some tension between Eva and myself and, you know, didn leave the the best taste in her mouth so we we settled it fairly quickly and we were ready to get back into the lifestyle so in December at some point we connected with a couple on one of the apps I was using and I say I because Eva doesn't do any of the apps and and the site stuff I'm'm the one. I seek out our potential targets, I guess you'd call them. And then she either approves or denies them. And if she approves, I continue talking to them.

And then she pretty much says, just tell me where I'm supposed to be and when I'm supposed to be there.

So that's pretty much how we run things but anyway i found i found this couple and we seemed to hit it off uh but they were from the toledo area now so i'll refer to them as the the toledo couple going forward again we live in the dayton area so that's about a two hour drive from where we live maybe two and a half not very convenient so we arranged a vanilla dinner date around the halfway point between us and it went very well we really liked this couple the the dude was much bigger than me like much uh, much more muscular. Now, honestly, that doesn't take a lot.

Um, I'm five, seven on a good day. So, um, you know, most, most men are taller than me, but he was a pretty big dude and Eva had never been with a big dude yet. So she found that kind of enticing and his wife was pretty smoking hot too very nice very personable so we decided you know we wanted to schedule a play date with them they invited us to go to their home on new year's day 2022 now remember they live far away but it was going to be worth it because we wouldn't have to pay for a hotel or an Airbnb. The cost was just the time and the travel. That was it.

We weren't going to a club or anything, so this was a great situation. Of course, it turned out that there was a snowstorm right when we were traveling, so it took us a little bit longer than expected, but still worth it. We were saving a lot of money and stress by not having to worry about a hotel. So we arrived, and they were super hospitable. They had pizza waiting for us, which was super nice, especially because it was New Year's Day. There was not a lot of places open. So it was just really nice of them that they ordered pizza for us. And we all just hung out and we talked and we drank.

This would also be the first time we actually spent the night at a host's house. And to this day, it was the only time we've done that. So, I mean, I'm not ruling that out. It's not like we purposely said we're never staying overnight at another host's house. It's just the opportunity just hasn't arisen since this occasion. So we started playing card games. You may have heard of Cards Against Humanity.

We played those types of games and things started to get frisky now up until this point eva had only been with one other woman it was at her first ever experience um the the i take that back at our first ever experience that's when uh the girl fondled her and licked her and fingered her and that was just briefly but then we met the gamer couple our second ever played eight and third and she played with that girl so I guess this was her third girl-on-girl experience the two experiences after that there there was no girl-girl play at all but this woman was ready to go she wanted to play with eva this was another first for us a bisexual woman with enthusiasm like that wanted this play with another girl and it was crazy hot so both eva and this girl were just so freaking hot it was just amazing to watch and the woman was very assertive which i love i love assertive women and she had a rocking body and she just wanted to fuck both of us badly but she also had a little too much to drink which resulted in a minor dilemma and i'll tell you about that shortly uh the sex was really good like for both eva and myself enthusiastic and fun uh she was a good rider but not as good as hamilton hottie i'm not sure anyone will ever top that and the dude to eva's pleasant surprise had an above average size dick so that was nice for her we did do something stupid though looking back and that was we did not useoms.

We just kind of trusted each other. We told them our history, and they said they just got tested recently. We believed them without actually seeing any results. So we agreed not to use them. Probably not wise, but we do get wiser as we progress through our journey. Don't worry. So they had this big living room couch that was kind of like a big bed more than a couch. And I don't know what it was called, but that's where we played. So after a round of fun and more drinks, the woman decided she wanted to use a butt plug.

so she went off to get one and when she returned she had already had it inserted and i don't know what she was thinking because she was in obvious pain and i think she just tried to go too big too fast she suddenly was not having a good time i mean you can you can see that she was just struggling and just grimacing. And she finally gave up and went off to remove it. But when she returned, she brought a two-sided dildo and asked Eva if she wanted to try it. Now, Eva was up for it.

and i got to witness something i never thought i'd see which was my wife and another woman playing with playing with each other using a double-sided dildo and that my friends was super hot i i don't know why i didn't take video or pictures of this because it was amazing so we had another go round after that ended and that was really it not much else to share that was like really interesting or remarkable when playtime was over it was time for bed before bed they wanted to show us their room with toys it was at this time that we realized Let's do this. it was time for bed.

Before bed, they wanted to show us their room with toys. It was at this time that we realized their extreme political affiliation. They had all kinds of signs and hats and flags and other stuff that showed what political party and political person they supported. Now, Eva and I strongly believe that politics can be a polarizing issue. So we make it a point to keep it out of all lifestyle discussions. If you lean one way or the other, that's fine. That's your business. Just don't make it our business.

If you're going to throw your political beliefs in our faces, then we are not going to be hanging out anymore. You know, keep that stuff to yourself. So there are, there are certain types of political fanatics, not naming names who we just simply don't respect. Okay. And we just had this amazing time with this couple and seeing their political fanaticism kind of disappointed us and took the wind out of our sails a bit. But, you know, it was still fine. Um, we just, we just wish we didn't have to see it. That's all. And then it was time for bed.

They set us up in their kid's bedroom and their, their kids were obviously not home, which, you know, being in a, in a kid's room after what we just did, it was a little weird, a little weird. We, we just had all kinds of sex with this couple and now we're going to sleep in their kid's bed. It was just a little strange. Even stranger was that we had sex in that bed. Because I told you, reclaim sex is just this crazy fun thing. And Eva and I were still on this sex high.

So we had to have a quickie before going to to sleep the next morning we had to get up early because we had to head out of there before their kids got home we thanked them for a great evening and began the long drive back home now despite the political stuff we still hope to see them again you know like i said we don't care what your political views are. Just keep them out of our conversations. So if they're that important that you have to bring them up during lifestyle conversations, then we're just not a good match.

So, you know, when they brought us into the room, it wasn't like they were showing off their political stuff. They wanted to show us toys that they had. The political stuff just happened to be very prominent in that room. So after that, we kept in touch a little bit. A few days later, actually, Eva came down with COVID. So I had to reach out to them and let them know. The dude was sick too. So one of them most likely contracted it from the other. I assured him that neither of us had any symptoms the night of our play date or prior, and he said the same.

So it was just something we couldn't avoid, and he agreed. It was all good. You know, after we, after that, we chatted a little more and time went on. We hadn't heard from them in a while until spring break rolled around. I sent them a message just to touch base and say hello. They responded by asking us to go to Florida, Florida with them a few days later. Eva and I were very intrigued to do this. You know, that just sounded wild and crazy and something that we could look back on. And, you know, years from now and be like, hey, remember what we did? That was crazy.

I can't believe we we up and went to Florida to hang out with a lifestyle couple. I mean, I can just imagine the sex would have been crazy. They said something about they rented a boat, and so they were going to be on a boat. We would have had sex on a boat. And probably a lot of it. It was so tempting, but Eva and I were very, we had to be smart about it. Okay. And we ultimately decided it wasn't a good idea. It would be hard with kids of our own to just drop everything and head to Florida unexpectedly. So, so we politely declined and never heard from them again.

And that happens sometimes in the lifestyle, you know. Sometimes things just fizzle out. You know, there wasn't a falling out or anything. You know, we all had fun. We enjoyed each other's company. But I think ultimately what it came down to was distance. You know, two plus hours to see them was not something we really wanted to do on a routine basis, especially because, you know, there were other fish in the sea, fish who lived a lot closer to us. And that is where my next episode is going to lead. We end up finding a local lifestyle couple.

As you will hear next episode, finding this couple was both amazing and awful. But again, Eva and I, we end up usually learning something from every experience. And as you will see, we learned a lot. But we moved on from the Toledoledo couple now if they were to contact us today we would be happy to chat with them and happy to see them again but the fact that we stopped seeing them was just a casualty of distance we had our fun they were really attractive but it just wasn't worth time and the travel to pursue further playdates. But, again, learning experiences, right?

We learned what it was like to play at a host's house. You know, what it was like to actually spend the night at a host's house. We learned that Eva enjoys sharing double-sided dildos. And we realized that, you know, political affiliations don't and shouldn't have to be a deal breaker. Keep that out of the lifestyle. And illnesses are part of life, not just the lifestyle.

So if someone gives you a cold unintentionally there's no reason to be upset you know we weren't mad at this other couple they weren't mad at us you can get sick from from walking past someone in a grocery store or touching something some some sick person has touched and then like rubbing your eyes so it happens happens. Now STDs and STIs, that's another story and one that I will be discussing in a later episode. As for this episode, I think it's time to call it a wrap. So thank you very much for listening.

I really appreciate you spending your valuable time listening to me, just an ordinary guy in the lifestyle. If you'd like to reach out to me, I'd love to hear from you, your comments, your questions. I would love to address listener questions as kind of a recurring feature in future episodes, but I understand I have to build up a listener base first so so please feel free to share this podcast with any other people that you think might be interested in in hearing my rantings and my ravings and my my stories if you want to reach out to me you can find me on kick or Instagram at Evan Deenson.

That's E V A N D E A N S O N Evan Deenson. Just be prepared. I do. I don't check my Instagram account very often. So if you reach out to me on there, just understand the delay will probably be substantial before I actually see it. So, but until then, my friends take care, happy swinging.