Ep. 64: An Enjoyable but Unusual Solo Adventure

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hello everyone and welcome to Evan Swings, a lifestyle podcast from an average guy's perspective. My name is Evan and I'm your host. Thank you so much for joining me today. I want to start by saying thank you to SLS and Swing.com for making this podcast available on its platform. They have a new podcast section and invited me to have this little podcast added to it, and I graciously accepted. So thank you again to SLS and Swing.com for having me. So we may have a bunch of new listeners, so let me start with a little intro.

If you are new here and don't know me yet, I always start with this little introduction anyway, almost every episode. I'm Evan, and thank you for giving my humble podcast a shot. My wife, Eva, and I have been in the lifestyle for about four and a half years now. We are both in our late 40s, late 40s, and we live in the Dayton, Ohio area. We are a full swap couple who enjoys the FWB dynamic. And I do this little podcast because I enjoy sharing our adventures with others, especially those who might find our adventures entertaining and or informative.

I don't have advertisers or sponsors, and I don't beg for likes or subscribers. This is more of a labor of love. I'm not an expert. I'm just an average guy doing average guy things. And if you like what you hear, hopefully you'll come back and listen again sometime. And for those of you who are back for more, my returning listeners, thank you so much as always. I greatly appreciate the love and support you've shown me. And one more thing, back in the fall, I had pneumonia, and it was awful. Well, I have it again.

I was just diagnosed two days ago, so I may sound a little congested and like scratchy, but I will try to avoid coughing. But if I sound a little bit different today, you know why. So now, on with the show. I have a story for you guys today, an adventure, but first I want to begin by reminding everyone about our dynamic and the lifestyle, meaning mine and Eva's dynamic. We're a full swap couple for sure. We prefer same room play, but we have been known to do a little separate room play as well. And, you know, with couples with whom we've developed a strong sense of comfort.

But from time to time, we have also done some separate play. Like, completely separate play. And I want to stress that I said, from time to time. It does not happen very often. In the last year, Eva and I each had a separate play date twice. So that's it. Twice each in the last year. My story today is going to focus on the most recent for each of us. Well, mostly mine. Okay, but I did want to mention Eva's as well. But anyway, like I said, we don't do it very often. In fact, when we first entered the lifestyle, it was something we never even considered as an option.

We never in a million years thought either of us would be comfortable playing separate with someone else, you know, without both of us present in some capacity. But that all changed about a year and a half into our lifestyle journey. And I am totally estimating here, okay, but it's been kind of a blur, a bit of a blur the last four and a half years. But I think it was about a year and a half in. It all started with just a fun little comment I made. At the time, we had played several times with another couple as couples, you know, like same room, full swap stuff. Thank you.

had played several times with another couple as as couples you know like same room full swap stuff we were pretty comfortable with them and until it be until it became clear that the wife was completely batshit crazy which is why i call them batman and batman and batwoman um and i discussed all of this in one of my earliest episodes but i but i can't remember which one i can't remember the title of the episode off the top of my head anyway eva was doing some traveling for her business and by traveling i don't mean very far just you know around the dayton area and as it out, she was going to be in the area where Batman worked right around lunchtime.

And Batman asked if Eva wanted to meet for lunch. And that's when I said something like, oh, are you going to have some midday fun with him? Obviously, meaning sex. It was just, you know, kind of a silly passing comment, but we ended up talking about it. And I actually found myself getting turned on by the idea of Eva being off without me having sex with another guy. And Eva was a bit surprised that I was okay with the idea. It was something we had never even considered. In fact, I don't think she really knew for sure if I was serious.

You know, that I was okay with her fucking a guy without me being there. And to be honest, I wasn't really sure she would even go through with it, even if the opportunity presented itself. But I will never forget, I'm a teacher and I'm in my classroom. My students were in music class or something like that. So I was alone in my room and I got a text from Eva with a selfie smiling in the driver's seat of her car. And the text said something like, this is the face of a girl who just had a ton of fun in the backseat of her car. It was, it was really hot.

And the, the reclaim sex when we got home from work was intense. And just hearing about that whole, that whole situation was just so hot. So that kind of started it. We discovered that it was a, it was a really huge turn on for both of us when the other person went off for separate play. And I want to stress again that it is not something we do very often, nor do we want to do very often. Separate play for us serves as kind of a fun bonus that, you know, lets us explore our sexuality and just gives an additional occasional spark to our sex life.

We have no interest in polyamory or, you know, having a side piece, you know, like a legit boyfriend or girlfriend on the side. Neither of us have any interest in Eva being a hot wife either. No, separate play is just an occasional fun spark that we enjoy. It spices things up for us once in a while and we are well aware that this is not everyone's cup of tea we get it just remember everyone is different the lifestyle is chock full of different people from different walks of life with different dynamics different k, different turn-ons, we may not agree with all of them, but we can respect them.

Separate play is something we like to entertain on occasion. So with all that in mind, a couple of months ago, I got a text from a guy, part of a couple who we've played with very occasionally. And I say very occasionally because we don't see them very often at all. We haven't seen them as a couple in, I would say, over a year. But it hasn't been due to a lack of trying. They live about two hours away from us, and they're, for lack of a better term, they're flighty. They're not good about long-term planning.

You know, we'll try to set up a date for a few weeks down the road, and they're just unable to commit because they're not sure of their schedule. Yet, they'll text us at like 8 p.m. a Saturday night and say hey we're gonna be in your area you want to you want to come out and join us stuff like that so it just hasn't worked out very often but I got a text from the guy who said he had a hall pass and wondered if Eva would be interested in a separate play date, and if I would be okay with it. And I told him it was fine.

I appreciated the respect he was showing me, and that he was welcome to text Eva directly because I didn't want to be the middleman. And he did, and they set something up. but the night before they were supposed to get together he texted Eva to tell her that he had come down with strep throat so they had to cancel the date and about a month later same situation his wife was out of town gave him a hall pass and he wanted to get together with Eva And this time, it did work out. However, I did have one rule that I insisted be followed. Eva has bad night vision.

I did not want her driving very far by herself. So the only thing I insisted on is that he drive most of the way remember it kind of sucks because he lives two hours away but i personally think getting to fuck eva is worth the drive time evidently he agreed because he drove the full two hours to meet eva at her office and fuck her there. And that's really all I have to say about that story. But I wanted to make sure I mentioned it because for my big story today, it will tie in. So let me get to that story.

as i have um lamented many times on this podcast, as much as Eva and I enjoy the occasional separate play, it has not been easy for me to find a willing playmate. Back in July, I met with a woman who I nicknamed Poison Ivy, and you can listen to that episode if you have not already by going back to episodes 50 and 51. That was the last time that I had a separate play date, until recently, January 2026. And the story actually begins in the late fall. I use several apps and sites to make lifestyle connections, the best being SLS and SDC.

But I occasionally play around with apps like 3Fun and Bicupid and Field. And in fact, I even altered our profiles a bit on those apps so that they're more for me rather than Eva, rather than I should say, rather than me and Eva. So on those apps, I mentioned that we're open to new couples, but I am primarily on the app searching for women for potential separate play experiences. And on field, it is quite expensive, in my opinion. Memberships that allow messaging cost quite a bit, and I'm not willing to pay for it. But you can buy these things called pings. P-I-N-G. Pings.

And they allow you to send a short message to someone in whom you are interested. So I thought, what the hell? I bought 10 pings for like 12 bucks or something like that. I honestly don't remember the cost. And scanning profiles one day, I came across this cute red-headed woman, whom I will call Judy, for the remainder of this episode. I sent her a ping, simply saying I enjoyed her profile, and asked her to take a peek at mine if she was interested. After many, many failures on field, most of my pings are ignored. I was surprised to get a genuine response.

Judy and I ended up hitting it off pretty well. Now she lived over an hour away from me, south of Cincinnati. And for all of you who may not know the geography of this region that puts her in Kentucky, south of Cincinnati. And for all of you who may not know the geography of this region, that puts her in Kentucky. South of Cincinnati would be Kentucky. And to be very honest, I expected this to fizzle out pretty fast. Mostly due to experience. Like I've had many, many fizzle out. But she kept chatting with me. We'd have a lull in conversation, and then it would start up again.

Eventually, I asked her if she would like to meet sometime, and she agreed. But then, it began to look like, once again, I was being strung along. She got sick, and was sick for weeks. we plan a meet and greet and she would have to reschedule because it seemed like she was just not getting better. And that's why Eva and I wondered if she was just playing me. But something about this just seemed different. So we kept up our conversations and and sure enough, in early January, 2026, we ended up meeting.

We met at a restaurant and ended up staying there for over four hours, just talking and laughing. And when we finally decided to wrap things up, she actually invited me back to her place and I thanked her for the invitation but I felt like I needed to get back home to Eva I had to drive over an hour back and that's what I said earlier would tie into the story about Eva's date the dude drove a long way to get to Eva and I kind of feel like it's the chivalrous thing to do like the guy should be the one who does most of the heavy lifting I'll see you next time. to get to Eva.

And I kind of feel like it's the chivalrous thing to do. Like the guy should be the one who does most of the heavy lifting or in this, in this case, long driving. So I was happy to drive a long way to meet her, but especially because this is my first time with her, I didn't want to overstep my bounds with Eva. I thought we should save our first play session for the second date. So I walked her to her car, asked if I could kiss her goodbye. She agreed, so I gave her a nice kiss, discovered she was a great kisser.

I said goodbye and went back to my car and immediately regretted not going back to her place. At that point, I was just, you know, turned on and raring to go. And I ended up telling Judy that the next day. Like, I was very excited at the prospect of playing with her, but I still feel, looking back, I made the right choice. And oftentimes, anticipation makes things even sexier. And thankfully, Judy seemed to like me because she was also interested in having a second, spicier date. Now again, I have to stress that even I don't do this very often, and we don't ever want to make it a habit.

So there was no need to rush right out and have a second date. But we did start discussing it, and decided on a date, I would say about three weeks later. I, of course, checked with Eva first, because that's what we do, out of respect. Even if we know the other will be okay with it, we still ask. And Eva was fine with it, so it was game on for a spicy second date. It was fun, but also featured a couple of weird occurrences. Maybe not too weird, just new, new situations for me.

this day again I drove down to meet her at a restaurant where we had great conversations and things went very smoothly and the plan was to go back to her house after dinner she invited me to use her hot tub when we got there. Now, Eva and I are very comfortable now with separate play situations, but we still feel that we need to check with each other regarding new situations, just in the off chance it might make the other person uncomfortable.

That is why I snuck off and texted Eva and asked if she would be okay with me getting in a hot tub with judy not only did eva say it was fine in fact her response was why would that make me uncomfortable well but she also said that the thought of it turned her on and she asked if I would send a pic of Judy and I using the hot tub. These little separate play experiences are always so much hotter when we know the other person is turned on by the idea.

Now, nothing else really of note happened at dinner, so let me skip to the part where i arrive at her house that's when the first of two unusual things occurred her husband was home that's just their dynamic they are truly enm and have separate play experiences all the time. Her husband works interesting hours, so he was actually getting ready for bed. But I have to say, it was a really strange experience for me to show up at this woman's house and be greeted by a dude in his bathrobe and pajamas. I was like, hi, I'm Evan. I'm here to fuck your wife.

Obviously, I didn't say that, but I just found it to be a little awkward. Here I am, arriving at this house, about to have sex with his wife, while he goes to sleep a couple of rooms down. But again, it seems strange to me because this was a new situation for me and is not something Eva and I would ever do. I would never be comfortable if Eva brought a guy back to our house while I slept. But that's just Judy and her husband's dynamic. You know, to them, it was very normal for Judy to have a guest while he slept. And I respect them for that. Okay?

Remember, in the lifestyle, there are so many different dynamics. You don't have to agree with every one of them, but you should respect every one of them. And I did respect this one. It felt awkward to me simply because I was not accustomed to something like that. And, you know, not because I disagreed with it. I introduced myself, shook his hand, talked for a few minutes, and then he excused himself to go to bed. And then it was time for the next unusual thing. After a tour of their house and some chit-chat, we decided to get in the hot tub.

On this particular night, it was about 9 degrees out. Very cold, with snow on the ground everywhere. Now, Eva and I own a hot tub, and I will admit, we don't use it as much as we should, especially in the winter. Our hot tub does not sit right outside our back door. You have to walk out, walk across one deck, down to our lower deck, and then across that to our hot tub. I would say it's probably about, I don't know, 30 to 40 feet from our door, but that's a long way when it's cold. That's like a huge distance when it's cold.

And I admit I'm a little bit of a pansy when it comes to being freezing cold, even for a few moments. But this was different. There was a hot, redheaded woman who wanted to have sex with me, and she wanted to get in the hot tub, so damn it, I was going to join her, and I didn't care how far the walk was. But her hot tub was a mere two or three steps from their back door. She said that we could get undressed and then walk out to the tub and get right in. So in other words, we were going to strip down completely naked in front of each other and then walk out together.

And let me reiterate, I did not find this situation bad, just different, unusual, slightly awkward. Every other first time playdate I've ever experienced, there's kind of like an undressing process, so to speak. We start kissing, start kissing making out fondling clothes start coming off one by one until eventually we're both naked well with this situation up until this point all we had done was share a brief kiss we had hardly we had hardly touched each other at all. I'd seen a couple of topless pics from her, but that was it. She had never seen me in any stage of undress whatsoever.

No shirtless pics, no dick pics, nothing. And now, we're going to get totally naked in front of each other and walk outside into the freezing cold. And that's exactly what I did. And I'm proud to say, I was totally comfortable. So it may have been weird, but in a good way. And I think part of that was her personality. She, she's just very outgoing and made me feel very comfortable. But that's what I did.

We just got completely naked right in front of each other and right by her back door and then walked out two or three steps and got in the hot tub now despite despite being outgoing socially she was very much like me when it comes to making the first move we were in the hot tub and we talked for a good i don't know 20 minutes or so and i slowly got braver and eventually started rubbing her leg and then right before the jets shut off like the cycle of the hot tub ended she touched my dick she said something like see, I made the first move I touched your dick so I responded with okay, then it's my turn to make a move so I'm going to kiss you you.

So I leaned in, and we made out for a minute or two, and it was very, very evident that we were both ready to be done with that hot tub and get to the bedroom. So I got my phone, and we took a hot tub selfie, which I sent to Eva as she requested, and she did tell me she found it to be very hot. Then we got out, put on our towels, went back inside and dried ourselves off. And then we then she led me upstairs to the bedroom. And I should be clear here. It was not the same bedroom her husband was in. Because otherwise that would be insanely weird.

So here we are in the bedroom, still naked, just talking for a while. And then after some time, it led to some kissing, and the fun began. I don't have too many details to share with you about that, about the, you know, experience in the bedroom. It was a hell of a lot of fun, that's for sure. But I want to mention something that I've said numerous times on this podcast. Why do we swing? What do we get from being in the lifestyle? Well, lots of things. But one of the main things I enjoy about the lifestyle is variety. See you next time. well, lots of things.

But one of the main things I enjoy about the lifestyle is variety. Different women have different styles when it comes to sex, when it comes to play in the bedroom. Judy was very assertive, very enthusiastic, very fun. After she had enough foreplay, she just straight up asked me, would you like to fuck me now? To which I, of course, said yes. And once I got a condom on, she immediately said, lay down, I want to ride you. That was a first for me as well.

With one exception, I should say um interesting circumstances you can hear about it um if you go back to the poison iv part two episode but um with with that exception sex has always started in the missionary position at least I think back, it always seems to start in the missionary position. That just seems like the go-to, tried-and-true method for first penetration. But not this night. She wanted to ride me, and I was thrilled to let her. It was, I believe, the first time in my four and a half years in the lifestyle that a woman wanted to be in charge like that and rode me first thing.

Also the, the first time that I've ever had sex with a woman while her husband was sleeping in the room down the hall. So it's stuff like that that makes the lifestyle so exciting. New sexual experiences like that. You know, even as simple as that one. Just husband sleeping down the hall. And when she was ready to be done riding me, she asked me, where do you want me? I love all that sexy banter and I love communication during sex like that. I can be assertive and put you where I want you, which is pretty much what I did after this.

But I appreciated that talk, that communication, her asking me, where do you want me? And I don't see that very often with the women that I've been with, at least. So this gave me the opportunity to be with a woman who took control at the start and then relinquished it and wanted to be in the positions that I wanted to do. Which reminds me, there was something else new that she did that I had never experienced before. It's going to be tough to describe without visual assistance. But picture a woman in the crisscross applesauce seated position.

If you remember from elementary school, you know, legs crossed, but, you know, as close as possible to your midsection. But instead of sitting, she was laying on her back. It was very interesting. I was able to get a lot of unexpected leverage by holding onto her legs and using them kind of like handles while I thrusted. It was a lot of fun. And again, even though Eva and I have been doing this for almost five years now, we still find ourselves running into situations like this where a new position is introduced to us or just a new style of sex.

To me, it is one of the many things that makes the lifestyle so exciting and allows it to stay fresh. And I should add that when I got home from this date, Eva and I had some amazing reclaim sex. I don't, I don't know what it is about that reconnection with a spouse after playing with someone else, but it is always intense. It is always just so hot and passionate. Eva and I both love, um, sharing all the dirty, all the dirty details of our experience that we, you know, that we just had on a separate play date. It just, it always seems to get us both riled up even more.

And what made this a little different as well is that I was gone away from my home for almost nine hours and Eva and I used to have a two-hour rule we did not include drive time but if either of us um we're going to have a separate play date we could only spend two hours alone with the other person times have changed though it began with Eva's marathon four hour sex fest with a guy at a hotel I believe that's the story of episode I want to say 26 it's It's called Evan Redeems Himself. Definitely worth a listen if you haven't already. But that kind of set the tone.

We realized we were comfortable enough with separate play and allowing each other to have more intimate time with other people. But this was excessive. Nine hours. but, you have to understand this woman lives an hour and 20 minutes away from me. So I left my house at about 345, got stuck in standstill traffic due to an accident, spent time at a restaurant, which we ordered appetizers, a meal, and dessert, and that takes time, and then traveled to her place, enjoyed the hot tub, then moved the fun to the bedroom, then drove an hour and 20 minutes back home. Thankfully, Eva was fine with that.

and one of the main reasons is because all three of the dudes with, with whom she has had, um, with whom she has most recently enjoyed a separate play date, they've all had to driven, they've all had to drive, I would say a minimum of an hour and 15 minutes to see her. So it all goes back to what I said earlier about being the gentleman in this type of situation. We're willing to make that extra drive in order to make it happen. But it certainly, certainly did make for a long but exciting adventure. And that's going to do it for this episode of Evan Swings.

I really appreciate you being here and hope that if you made it this far, you enjoyed what you heard. Again, I anticipated a lot of new listeners with this episode, so I want to state here that I always end my episodes by giving you my contact information. You are more than welcome to reach out with questions, comments, thoughts, or suggestions. And she doesn't come on the podcast very often, but Eva always says that she is more than willing to answer any questions you might have as well. That would actually be a good excuse to get her back on the show as a co-host.

So questions for me or questions for Eva, feel free to send them our way. You can now find the Evan Swings podcast profile on SLS or Swing.com. The profile name is Evan Swings Podcast, all one word. You can find me at Blue Sky by searching for Evan Swings on the Blue Sky app, or you can find me on Instagram or even Kik, still have that active, at my username, which is my fake full name, Evan Deanson, E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N. Or, one more way to reach me, by email, evandeanson at gmail.com. I hope to hear from you.

I do try to respond to every message I get and include them when I can in episodes of the show. Just make sure you let me know if I have permission to use your name or give me a pseudonym. Whatever works for you works for me. Until next time, take care. Remember, be safe, but be adventurous. We only get one, so always live life to the fullest.