Ep. 65: Reclaim Sex

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hello, lifestyle friends, and welcome to Evan Swings, a lifestyle podcast from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. As I mentioned in my last episode, this show has been generously given a place in the podcast section of Swing.com, so I wanted to do a little bit of an extended introduction again since I probably have some new listeners out there checking out the podcast for the first time. So hello, I'm your host, Evan. And if you are new, thank you for giving this podcast a chance. I am one half of a lifestyle couple, the other half being my lovely wife, Eva.

And we have been in the lifestyle for about four and a half years now. We are in our very late 40s. We turned 50 this year. And we live in the Dayton, Ohio area. Where there honestly isn't a vibrant, booming lifestyle community. We usually venture out to the bigger cities like Columbus or Cincinnati to quench our lifestyle thirst. Usually Columbus though. We are a full swap couple and enjoy the FWB friends with benefits dynamic.

I enjoy doing this little podcast as a way to share our adventures with the world and hopefully offer a source of entertainment and information for the lifestyle community. I'm not an expert, just your everyday, normal, average guy. And I do this as a labor of love. Okay. There's no advertisement, no, no sponsors. It's just me and my perspective. I'm sitting here right now in my home office. I have dogs. They're, they oftentimes shake their collars and you hear it comes through the mic. Currently they're chewing on some bones. So you may hear that stuff in the background.

But again, that's just proof that I'm just a regular guy. So thank you again if you're checking me out for the first time. And if you are a returning listener, thank you for coming back. I greatly appreciate your support. And before I get into the main topic of today's episode, I have a couple of quick little bits I wanted to throw in here and discuss. A few episodes ago, I did a show that I entitled Baffled. And I talked about a wonderful experience that Eva and I had meeting another couple north of us.

You know, most people, like I said, we meet are east of us in Columbus or south of us in Cincinnati. But this couple was from the north and we were meeting them for the first time and it went great everyone seemed completely on board and we even set another date before we even ended the evening then we stayed in touch and we chatted and flirted on telegram uh for i'd say about about a week. And then, suddenly, they call it off. Seemingly, no reason. And I was annoyed. Eva was surprised. And she lets these things roll off her back better than I do. But we were both baffled.

Hence the title of the episode. But then the dude, uh, texted me privately and apologized. And he talked about how, uh, his wife was experiencing some jealousy and they were still trying to figure things out. Uh, he hoped that there was no hard feelings and I told him there was not. And that, you know, we were just Thank you. and they were still trying to figure things out. He hoped that there was no hard feelings. And I told him there was not. And that, you know, we were just very surprised considering how well we all hit it off.

And he responded that he hoped that she would come around because he was super excited to see us again. And if anything changed, he would circle back to us right away. Well, that was it, and, you know, Eva and I, we really did hope they would circle back to us. And we thought there was maybe a slight chance, but we know how these things go. But anyway, just a week or so later, okay, so a week or so after he apologized and told me all this, I noticed that they were on SDC and they were just liking profiles left and right.

So in case you are unaware on SDC, if you go to your feed, you can see the profiles that your friends have liked and any other interactions like, you know, validations or whatever.

So, because, because we also, we also saw that they were validated by another couple because, you know, again, that appears on your feed too and this couple that validated them mentioned that they had gotten together multiple times so my first reaction honestly was those motherfuckers wasted our time gave us what now appears to be a phony apology, and seemingly had no intention of ever circling back to us like they said.

So ladies and gentlemen, as I have mentioned many times on this podcast, in the lifestyle, you have every right to change your mind about another person or another couple at any time. And you don't, you don't even have to feel obligated to give a reason. Okay. It is your right. It is your prerogative, but just be honest. Don't bullshit me. I can't stand when people are just not genuine, okay? If the dude was like, hey, we had a good time with you, but, you know, unfortunately, we no longer feel like we are a match going forward. Fine. So be it. No worries.

But to do this fake apology crap and then go off trying to hook up with all these other couples left and right. Fuck off. Okay. Sorry to sound that way, but, but seriously. Okay. Just, just be honest guys.

be honest we're all adults here we don't need the bullshit Eva and I really liked them and we're we were really hoping like actually hoping they would circle back to us because we believe that apology we believe they were serious that they really liked us and they just had to sort some jealousy things out and if they did we would hear back from them so I'm sorry fuck them for for giving us false hope with that little apology stunt just be honest and keep the bs out of it oh and then. Then my other little story of frustration. As I just mentioned, I, I should say we, appreciate honesty.

To this day, I admit, I still have trouble turning down couples we are not interested in. It's tough. I mean, I know it's not always easy. As someone, myself, okay, as someone with not a whole lot of self-confidence, I know it's not always easy to find the courage to reach out to another couple, initiate contact. I don't care what your background is, what your dynamic is, what you look like, how old you are, what your interests are. I don't care. It is still flattering if you reach out and show interest in us.

So that's why I have, I have a difficult time turning people down because I, because I, I genuinely appreciate it. I appreciate their interest. And that's also why I always want to be respectful if Eva and I are not interested I mentioned this in a previous episode I and there are my dogs going at it I mentioned this in a previous episode and I can't remember which one but an older couple in their late sixties contacted us recently. No introduction, no small talk, just, um, something like, I, I, Oh, I can't remember what they said.

It was like, uh, interested in getting together tonight for dinner and conversation. It was just like one question like that. Um, I, I can't remember the exact words. Okay. But just go with me here. It was something like that. Just one sentence about getting together that evening for dinner and conversation. But Eva and I, we were not interested in the slightest. But again, I want to be respectful and honest. I appreciate the interest. So I wrote back and simply said, I'm sorry, we are not interested. We wish you the best of luck.

I thought that was pretty clear, cut and dry, specifically stated we were not interested you know wish them luck I mean I don't think I could be much clearer than that and they didn't respond to that message well a few weeks go by and then last Friday night we get a message from them again and it says any plans this evening I'll see you next time. And last Friday night, we get a message from them again, and it says, any plans this evening? Just like that. Seriously? Are you that dense? Or, I'm sorry to say it, are you just plain dumb? I just don't understand.

I shouldn't have to keep turning you down so i just blocked them i was like i'm done with this you know i was polite and respectful and then they had the audacity to contact me again seemingly to try to make plans with us and that's just so frustrating it's just you know and this was a couple they didn't have any face pics had no idea what they looked like a kind of a a bare bones profile and it specifically says in our in our profile by the way that if you don't have face pics in your profile or you don't immediately open up your private folder to share what you look like then there's a good chance we are not going to respond to you you know and I state all this politely okay but but I do state it so it's just frustrating and you know just unfortunately you're going to run into people like that you know in the lifestyle from from time to time all right and now let's get into my main topic for today i have been wanting to do an episode uh focused on this specific topic for a while now and then I received an email from a listener about it.

And that kind of pushed it to the front of the line. So first, let me read that email or part of it. Tim writes, you've talked many times about how amazing reclaim sex is. However, However, if the wife has just had her brains fucked out by a sex master, with a large member of course, I feel like the husband might be a bit of a letdown for her, especially so soon after having her world so incredibly rocked. So my question is, is reclaim sex as great for the wife as it is for the husband? First of all, thank you so much for the question.

I think that is actually one of the better ones I've received. Very well written. So let's dive in and I will address the question along along the way. Since our very first experience in the lifestyle, Eva and I have both loved the act of having sex with each other after one or both of us had sex with someone else. And I'm not sure if there is an official term for this, but we have always referred to it as reclaim sex. It is the act of reclaiming your spouse or significant other after they were intimate with someone else. It is almost always intense.

And actually, I, I can't remember a time when it wasn't intense. What makes it so intense? Well, again, I'm no expert. Okay. But I do have a pretty solid hypothesis based on two reasons. And I'll use, um, I'll use Eva and myself as, uh, examples, of course. So number one, part one, one or both of us just had super enjoyable. I'll say hot. Okay. I'll say a hot sexual experience. So the thought of that Let's do it.

bad super enjoyable i'll say hot okay i'll say a hot sexual experience so the thought of that is still uh fresh in our minds okay and like and and in our bodies okay our bodies have just experienced a huge sexual high and if we just had a full swap, you know, I'm not only thinking about the fun I just had with another woman. Okay. But, but also the images of Eva playing with another guy there, they're still in my head. Oh, uh, I, I don't, I don't know if that came out right. Um, I'm not having sex with Eva, um, you know, laying there thinking about another woman.

That's, that's not what I meant. Um, I just mean that the thoughts are fresh in my head about what just happened. You know, my body is still ramped up, excited from the experience I just had. So, sorry, that certainly didn't come out the way I wanted it to. My brain is certainly not focused on another woman while I'm having sex with Eva. Okay. Um, but I do, I do definitely admit that thoughts of Eva with the other guy do pop in my head. I just really enjoy seeing her with another guy.

And that just that just makes the the current experience hotter for me and to go along with this um another thing i i think about honestly is how hot eva is all right like i i think to myself damn i am one guy. Sure, she just had sex with another guy. Maybe even someone hotter than me. Maybe someone with a bigger dick than me. Maybe, well, probably someone with a better toned muscular body than me.

And hair, okay, can't forget hair, because I'm bald so probably with someone someone with a full set of hair but yet she comes home to me she has chosen me we have all the fun we want to have but at the end of the evening she comes she comes home to me. You know, and, and I don't want this, I don't want this to come across the wrong way that, that I am, um, like a, some kind of possessive asshole, you know, but, but she's mine, you know, she's, she's my wife. You know, I get to have this amazing, sexy woman.

And again and again, I don't mean this in a possessive way, I just mean that she is my wife, you know, my spouse, the woman that I married, who's by my side every day, and loves and supports me. and that said i i i can't deny that there is also a small part of me that you know feels kind of, you know, more masculine. You know, knowing that this drop-dead gorgeous hottie that many, many guys want to fuck is the woman that I get to come home to every day and, of course, have sex with on a regular basis. It is a damn good feeling, if I'm going to be honest.

So all that kind of ties in to the feelings that I associate with reclaimed sex. But the other main part of my hypothesis, so part two about why reclaimed sex is so amazing and so intense for us, I'm going to get a little deep here, so fair warning, it's going to sound kind of corny, I guess, but it's because of the loving bond that Eva and I share. When we have reclaimed sex, we are reconnecting not only on a physical level, but on an emotional level. We allowed each other to experience sexual pleasure with someone else.

And now, now it's time to come back together and experience intimacy as a husband and wife. So it's not just the physical part of it that is so enjoyable. It's also the emotional part. Eva is the woman I love. I am the man that she loves. The guy that just had sex with her, that was pretty much just entirely physical pleasure. There was no emotional loving bond between them. Eva is not in love with that guy. She's in love with me and I with her. So reclaim sex is a, a reconnection, so to speak of, um, you know, two people who share that strong, loving bond.

And again, I, I apologize if all that sounds corny and mushy, but, but it's the truth. We connect, or I should say we reconnect on an emotional level in addition to the physical one. And when you bring both of those together, like the physical aspect, as well as the non-physical aspect, man, it just creates a perfect storm of passion and ecstasy. And that is probably my favorite component of the lifestyle. We go off, we have our fun, we have a lot of fun, and then we reconnect. Then it's back to our married life. And Eva feels the same way about this, by the way.

Okay, this is not just coming from me. Okay, in fact, the gentleman who emailed me this even said this may be more of a question for Eva. And I did talk about it with her before preparing this episode. You know, I asked her, I asked her about her thoughts regarding reclaim sex. And she pretty much verified everything I just said. She loves the aspect of getting her husband back is how she said it.

She loves getting her husband back you know and re-establishing re-establishing that that bond that loving bond that I just mentioned so that is one of the main reasons and I've mentioned this many times before in previous episodes, why reclaim sex is not just something we feel we want to do but it's it's something we kind of feel like we need to do and I I truly 100% mean that it feels like a need for us reclaim sex is more of a necessity than a choice we both feel like I'll see you next time. For us, reclaim sex is more of a necessity than a choice.

We both feel like it is appropriate after being intimate with others to reconnect on an intimate level, you know, the two of us. So that is why we always engage in Reclaim Sex very soon after play with others. If we hosted another couple, it takes place pretty much minutes after they leave our home. If another couple hosts us, and then we head home afterwards, it pretty much takes place minutes after we arrive at home. And if it's at a hotel, it takes place a few minutes after we get back to the hotel.

Or if our, you know, if our dates were there a few minutes after they leave the hotel room and on the very, very rare occasion we play at the club, it takes place soon after right after pretty much after we get back to our home or or hotel room. And I admit, part of that is because, yes, we are older, okay? And it is usually quite late when our evening with our friends has ended. So, you know, we're eager to get it on and get to bed. But we do make it a priority. Reclaim sex. We make it a priority.

and again as I have have explained in another episode, it is important to us as a husband and wife that we engage in intimate activity. And that sounds so formal. It is important to us that we have sex soon after we reconnect as a married couple. And there have been times when circumstances have caused us to not have immediate reclaimed sex. Maybe, you know, someone wasn't feeling well or was too sore or was too drunk or whatever. But then we make it a point to have sex the next morning. And I have a morbid reason that goes along with this.

My thought is, what if an unexpected catastrophe occurs? What if we abstain from reclaimed sex for whatever reason and postpone it until the next day? And then, you know, I, I, uh, run errands. Like I get up and I go, I go grocery shopping and then I'm killed in a car accident. Eva doesn't want to think that the last person she had sex with was someone other than her husband. You know, last person she had sex with before I died was not me. Morbid, I know. But in my opinion, a very valid thought. You know, likewise, if something happened to Eva, I would not be able to ever live it down.

You know, I would never be able to live down the fact that she wasn't the last woman I had sex with prior to her passing. So yeah, there you have it, okay? There is, you know, even a very morbid, very serious reason for reclaimed sex. And I have something else to say about, uh, about reclaimed sex for Eva and me. Sometimes, well, no, oftentimes I'll say, um, we're, we're so riled up and excited that there are two rounds of reclaim sex, you know, once, once shortly after our dates are no longer present.

And then usually again, the following morning, and it is such a turn on such an intense experience You know, Eva and I used to laugh about it because there have been plenty of times, usually after Eva has returned home from a solo experience, that I can't even wait until we get in bed. I have literally met her in our bedroom closet right after she got home. She goes in there to change after taking her, taking her coat off. And I follow her in there excited to start hearing immediately about all the juicy details of the experience she just had.

And trust me, when that happens, it does not take long. I am already rock hard and want to Thank you. of the experience she just had. And trust me, when that happens, it does not take long. I am already rock hard and want to fuck her right then and there before we even leave the closet. And if, and if we do, you know, um, we do have a, a walk-in closet by the way. So there there's, there's definitely room. So there've been many times where I ended up just having sex with her up against the wall in the closet or on the bench that we have in there, even before she got completely changed.

I mean, I'm, I'm not exaggerating at all here. She just starts, she starts the changing process, okay? Like, she's starting to change from whatever she wore on her date. And I pull down her underwear. I start playing with her pussy. And then I find myself unable to wait any longer as I hear about all the fun she just had. Way back in episode, I think it's 11, called Eva's Fantasy Fulfilled, I told the story of how Eva drove an hour and a half to a guy's house wearing nothing but lingerie under a trench coat.

Her fantasy was to show up at the guy's house to surprise him and of course have sex with him. She planned it with the dude's wife and it went off perfectly. Oh, by the way, I actually have a new piece of information that Eva only recently shared with me about that evening. She said that when she arrived at his house, since she had been so turned on thinking about it, like what was going to happen when she got there, she said her seat, the seat of her car was soaking wet when she got out of it. I, I couldn't believe she'd forgotten to share that before. Anyway, got sidetracked there.

Um, after that particular evening, when she arrived home, that was, that was closet reclaim sex night. Okay. That was, that was intense. Such a, a sexy adventure, we did not make it out of the closet. Like I said, just so intense. So, so hot and intense. So, I guess my point to all this is that, yes, Eva and I both find reclaim sex to be be amazing and not only amazing and wonderful, but, but also pretty much a necessity. Like we, we feel like we need that, that reconnection as a married couple. And, um, and that'll wrap things up for today on Evan swings. Um, I do hope you today's episode.

As I always do, I invite you to get in touch with me with any comments, questions, thoughts, or suggestions that you might have for me. Again, this is 100% a labor of love for me, and I'm happy to receive suggestions for future topics, opinions that you might have on the things I've discussed, or if you just have questions for me or Eva. I greatly appreciate all the love and support my listeners have shown me. To get in touch with me, you have several options. The newest way, which I'm, I'm kind of still learning.

So I can't guarantee a timely response yet, but, uh, that is to find the Evan swings profile page on swing.com. The username or like my username for that is Evan swings podcastingspodcast so that's all one word evanswingspodcast so you can find that profile search for it and use the messaging feature to contact me you can also find me on blue sky by searching for evanswings on the Blue Sky app, or you can find me on Instagram or Kik using my full name, which is Evan Deenson, E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N. Or finally, you can use good old-fashioned email. You can just send me a message.

Just send it to evandeanson at gmail.com. I do hope to hear from my listeners new and not so new. I try to do this podcast every two weeks. And I think there's only been one instance where I did not succeed in doing so. Maybe two. So therefore, I hope to have everybody listening right now that you check back here in two weeks for another episode. It will most likely be here wherever you find your podcasts. Until then, be safe, be adventurous, and always live life to the absolute fullest. Take care, everyone.