Episode 13: Single Guys and Stupid Guys

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles. Welcome, everyone. Welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from a guy's point of view, and that would be mine. I'm Evan. Glad you are here to listen to this podcast. Appreciate you being here. I am half of a lifestyle couple, the other half being my awesome, amazing wife, Eva.

So if you are a first-time listener, I just want to say like I usually do, I recommend going back and starting with episode one. It chronicles our journey into the lifestyle from the beginning. Now, if you're a returning listener, thank you so much. It truly, truly means a lot to me that you are here, listening, interested in hearing our stories and my perspective on the lifestyle. Today, I want to talk about two topics. Single guys and stupid guys. And sometimes, those two categories mix. we have run into plenty of stupid things And sometimes those two categories mix.

We have run into plenty of stupid single guys. Now, we have also run into our share of stupid women, just not nearly as many.

So first of all, I want to state that Eva and I do not play with with single guys we have never had to this date an m fm threesome but if and when we do we won't be looking for a single guy to be our third what we'll do is we'll ask uh one of our uh one of the males of our regular lifestyle friends or lifestyle couples um and go from there so far on this podcast i don't think i've ever said anything really truly controversial but i might be about to break that trend with my next comment. So here it is. I did not have a lot of respect for single guys in the lifestyle at first. Okay.

Now, please listen to what I said. I didn't in the past. All right. I will get to that. Things have changed, but I am sure, 100% sure, that there are very nice, very respectful single guys in the lifestyle.

even i just haven't met a whole lot of them yet and that's where my controversial opinion came from okay i i just saw a single guy as someone who's joining the lifestyle as kind of an easy way out of dating you know instead of using the regular dating apps out there or meeting someone to date through normal means single guys have decided that they're going to join the lifestyle and get an easy lay without going through the trouble of you know establishing a relationship first. And I just didn't respect that mentality at first.

And it was probably just my narrow-minded thinking because, you know, I know that relationships are a lot of work. Marriage, dating, it's all a process. And sexual intimacy is part of that process. And often like a bonus for finding someone you are compatible with. And single guys skip all that. And again, my opinion was based on some bad experiences that I will tell you about shortly. But my feelings on the matter have changed, okay? And that's one thing I can tell you for sure about the lifestyle.

If you're new to it, if you're just getting started, expect your feelings to change and evolve as you spend more time in the lifestyle, okay? preferences your opinions on things things will change and that's what happened with me my opinions about single guys in the lifestyle are no longer as harsh as when I first started I get it all right they're looking for a good time without all the money spent, the time, the effort spent, you know, on relationship building. And maybe they don't want a relationship. They just want to get laid. And I can understand that.

So joining the lifestyle as a single guy is i guess actually kind of a smart savvy move when you when you think about it so now i think you know what it's fine if you're a single guy you do your thing i'll do my thing. Eva and I still have no desire whatsoever to ever play with a single guy. And that's just our thing, our preference. There are apparently, though, many other couples out there that do enjoy playing with single men. More than I thought, actually.

In fact, I've listened to several other podcasts where a couple's first ever experience in the lifestyle happened to be an MFM threesome with a single guy. Several of them. So I was a little short-sighted i guess when i when i formed my original opinion about single guys the lifestyle is all about being whoever you want to be and fulfilling whatever desires you want to fulfill so i respect that okay. But respectfully, Eva and I stay away from single guys. The ones that we have come across, they have been very pushy and non genuine. Okay. Or genuine, however you say it.

So that is what kind of soured me on them. But again, I have learned that it was just a sampling of what is out there, and my opinion has changed. If you're a single guy, you do you, all right? You don't need to attack me or troll me or anything like that.

I don't need any single single guys flaming me about this like i said i've learned my opinion changed over time and now let's just do our own things as long as you don't bother eva or myself then good luck to you do your thing you be you but i want to tell tell you about some of these single guys and just plain stupid guys that we have run into in our lifestyle experiences. So one was from two hotel takeover experiences. So the first time we're on the dance floor, Eva and I are on the dance floor and this dude comes over and just starts talking and flirting with Eva, like totally ignores me.

He does this, this talking and flirting, like right in front of me. He doesn't even acknowledge my existence. So instantly, immediately, I knew we were out. I wanted no part of this guy who couldn't even give me the respect of acknowledging me. Never spoke a word to me, but started hitting on my wife right in front of me you know telling her how hot she is and how smoking her body is now i will admit eva thought this guy was very attractive he was i'll even admit it he was a handsome guy and he was shredded you know yeah he had a shirt off and his muscles were a blazing.

So Eva was, you know, polite and asked him his name and who he was there with. And that's when he informed her that he was a single guy who was just there to party. And of course, that translation is, you know, he's there to find women willing to fuck him. Still, without acknowledging me, he asked Eva if she was on one of the lifestyle apps. Now, I should be clear, if I haven't already, I was standing right next to Eva. Right next to her.

It was obvious that she and I were together nobody with half a brain would not have realized she was there with me but anyway Eva said she didn't do the lifestyle apps but I did like, like pointed to me, like said, you know, my husband, my husband did. He looked at me suddenly acknowledging my existence and asked if I had telegram. Now, at this point, I was just kind of stunned at what was happening. And I think I just said, yeah, like I have Telegram. And he said, let me see your phone.

Now, stupidly, because I don't think fast on my feet, I took out my phone and he grabbed it from my hand, like literally took it from my hand, opened Telegram, found himself and initiated a conversation like so that we were connected on telegram. And he was like, there, now you have my contact info. So I was like, sorry, man, you know, we're not interested, but he was unfazed. He was unfazed by what I said. And he was like, that's okay. If you change your mind, just let me know. But he was saying this to Eva, like looking right at her, right in front of me.

And I just, I felt so disrespected by this. That same evening, I blocked him on Telegram. But the next weekend, like literally the next weekend, he found our profile on another site and messaged us and invited us to a club. I politely declined thinking that he'd get the message eventually. And then I blocked him on that site too. It's the pushiness and the disrespect that I cannot tolerate. I just, I can't, you know, you have to be, you know, respect is top priority in the lifestyle.

You have to be respectful and to go up to somebody, go up to a woman and start flirting and hitting on them right in front of their man, right in. I just found that just terribly disrespectful. All right, let's fast forward a little bit. Time goes on and we attend another hotel takeover and he is there again. And I watch him from afar as he is going around to woman after woman after woman, hugging them, rubbing their backs, kissing them on the cheek, and disregarding the men completely. He noticed Eva at one point, and he ran up to her, and he gave her a hug, and that was about it, thankfully.

Again, ignoring my existence. Before I go any further, if you are a single guy looking to get with a couple or the female half of a lifestyle couple, respect the male half. If we were into single guys, that would be one of the main deciding factors for determining whether a single guy was worth our time. Respect. Respect the wife, but also respect the husband.

this guy immediately put himself out of the running with us not that you know not that he would ever have been in the running anyway because you know again we don't play with single guys but if we did that would have immediately eliminated him from consideration now we're at this hotel takeover and we're talking with other couples and i forget how it came up but this particular single guy's name came up and several other couples felt the same way I did, you know, because we started, started discussing him and they were very bothered by this man.

And one couple actually took it even worse than we did. This dude said he had to threaten to punch him if he didn't get away from his wife. So if someone was about to resort to violence against this person, then obviously this person was doing something wrong and it needed to be addressed. Okay.

And it was also very, uh, validating because I knew it wasn't just me being being the idiot like I had a legit concern here shortly after the hotel takeover I noticed on the champagne page and champagne is the the company that puts on these hotel takeovers that eva and i enjoy attending another couple posted a complaint about the single men in attendance and the lack of courtesy and respect that they showed one in particular they were discreet but it was obvious who they were referring to. So I added a comment as well just to back them up.

You know, I didn't use a name either, but it was clear we were talking about the same person. And shortly after that, I got a message from one of the owners or managers of Champagne, and she told me that they had received multiple complaints about this man and wanted to hear why I posted my comment and wondered if I was willing to tell them his name. At first, I wasn't. I'm not a rat.

I don't need to tattle on anyone but she was very convincing she she was uh she expressed um how she wanted to keep champagne events a safe place and make sure all guests had a great time and were never uncomfortable or put into awkward situations by disrespectful guests. She ended up sending me his photo and said, is this the guy? So I had to be honest at that point. I said, yeah, yeah, that was him. She informed me that she had received several complaints about him. Very shortly after, I think it was even the same day, Play Champagne posted new rules regarding single men at their events.

And I won't go into the rules that they posted, but I will say this, I have not seen that dude again. Not seen him at an event since. So single guys, it's easy. Just be respectful, okay? If you want to say hello to a couple, say hello to the couple, okay? Not just the lady. Say hello to the couple. Respect the fact that it is a couple. In most cases, I would assume, you would have to have the permission of the man anyway. So if you start off on the wrong foot with him, you're going to be fighting an uphill battle.

So you might as well, from the start, get off on the right foot and show the the husband or the man respect all right next guy story i want to tell you about um not a single guy just a stupid guy so this guy um this guy from a couple messages me out of the blue on sls which is another lifestyle site and he's part of a couple now Eva and I we're not we're not attracted to them so we have no interest in getting together with them but he messages me and says this. This is almost word for word. Hey, male half here. I'm in Dayton for work this week.

Would love to grab a drink with you two and just chat. That was it. I wrote back and told him that we were not interested. We don't meet with men without their spouses. He said he understood. Have a nice day whatever something like that within a week he messages me the exact same thing i think he maybe meant to send it to another couple and accidentally sent it to us but it was like literally the the exact same message. Hey, male half here. I'm in Dayton for work for the week. Would love to grab a drink with you and just chat. So I responded politely.

Like I said before, we don't meet with men without their spouses, but good luck and enjoy your time in Dayton something like that I don't think he replied to that one if I remember correctly and then my friends I kid you not he contacted me again a third time about a week later with the same damn message hey male half here i'm in for date i'm in uh dating for work this week would love to grab a drink with you too and just chat so i was polite up until that point because now he was being a pussy pussy no he was being a pushy piece of crap.

So I unkindly I admit it I'm usually very polite but this pushed me to the edge I was like look now you're being pushy this is the third time I have told you we are not interested and you still keep contacting us so before I block you I wanted to tell you that we don't appreciate it and please don't ever try contacting us again. All he responded was, I'm very sorry. And that was it. So once I got that and I knew that he had seen it, that he read my message, he was blocked.

But seriously, guys, if you're going to reach out to someone do it once all right once if you were turned down don't be pushy and try a second time or even a third time not cool at all another guy contacted me through the play Champagne site. he was a handsome guy and was very complimentary of Eva but I do my research I read profiles very thoroughly and go through any and all pics that you have on your page this account was listed as a couple's account but there were no signs of a woman, none I'll see out on it. I said something like, hey, just so you know, we only play with other couples.

you know your profile is listed as as a couple's account, but we don't see any pics of the female half. So could you please send us a pic of your wife or girlfriend so we know who we're speaking with? He responded with a pic, a very candid pic of, in my opinion, a very unattractive woman. And it wasn't a selfie or a pose. It was like, it was almost like he took a random photo of the first woman he saw that he could just, so he could just pass it off as his spouse. Like he just, it was just some random woman. And it was, you know, like I said, not a, not a pose or anything.

It was just like an, an action shot or something like she was like walking. So I responded politely. I thanked him for the photo, but told him that unfortunately we were just not interested. No response. And that that's fine you know you know you got my message you you know you maybe felt rejected or whatever and and that's it i don't need another message from you so i thought that was over well a few weeks go by and then he sends me another message and this one says hey you're free tonight, I can meet you guys somewhere for some drinks.

And I note, I distinctly noticed that he said the word I and not we. Now it was annoyed. Now it was really annoyed. This guy seemed to be trying to play us for fools. So I responded and said something like, Look, dude, we already told you. We said we are not interested, and we said we only play with couples. Just wanted to let you know before I blocked you. Something like that. I don't remember the exact words I used, but he wrote two words back to me. My apologies. And that was it. Blocked, disrespectful, and in my opinion, deceitful.

So we've actually had a few like that, to be honest, you know, deceitful couples, or at least who we, who we think was a deceitful guy. So one couple from Michigan said they really wanted to meet us. And it was really, really early I'll see you next time. was a deceitful guy so one couple from Michigan said they really wanted to meet us and it was really really early in our in our lifestyle journey before we decided you know what before we decided that we wanted to focus on couples within reasonable driving distance so we agreed to meet them about halfway and have dinner.

And then about a week prior to our date, I get a message and it says, bad news, my girl and I broke up, but I'd still love to meet you guys if you were interested in playing with me solo. No, dude, we're not. And you probably didn't even have a girlfriend. Just being sneaky and dishonest. And then you also have the dudes who totally ignore your profile. Like, our profile specifically states in two spots that we are not interested in single guys. I even put, if that changes, we'll reach out to you. And I still have guys that ignore that and contact us anyway.

And just last week, I got a message that said, hey, I know you are not interested in single guys, but if that ever changes, I'd love for you to contact me.

So you know we don't play with single guys you obviously read our profile you saw that it says we're not interested in playing with single guys and you saw that it says if we are ever interested we would reach out to you and yet you still decided to message us the audacity of that that is just the arrogance right there now sure maybe they don't you know play with you know most single guys you know maybe you said that maybe maybe this guy thought that sure maybe they don't play with most single guys but if they see my picks maybe i can change their mind well single dudes if you think this way that results in an immediate block from us if we did change our minds and decided to play with a single guy, it would definitely not be you because of that.

So single guys, be respectful, okay? Don't be pushy. Respect what the profiles tell you. And don't try to be sneaky or creative because that'll just make things even worse yeah so those are just some of my tales involving single slash stupid guys I have more but those are the those are the first ones that came to mind and I think they illustrate the points I was trying to make. Off the top of my head, another one that comes to mind is a guy who, part of a couple, we were talking, and we somehow got onto the topic of mental health.

And I admitted, because I'm honest and I probably opened my big mouth more than I should. But I opened, I told him that, you know, I had some issues with depression and anxiety. And he flat out told me, he's like, like, oh, that's it. People with mental health issues that that's just compensating for something or that's, that's just a cop out.

You You know, mental health is not basically saying mental health issues that that's just uh compensating for something or that's that's just a cop-out you know mental health is not a basically saying mental health is not a real thing i was like what the hell like that that was downright insulting so he was blocked too we ended that really quick but anyway i think all those those tales just kind of illustrate the point I was trying to make. And the point is, it's all about respect. If you're a single guy, we, meaning Eva and I, we are not your couple.

But I'm sure there are plenty of other couples out there for you. But that means don't bother us. We are not a match for you. Find someone who is and don't, don't pester us or be pushy or disrespectful to us. That will get you absolutely nowhere fast. And with that, I will call it a wrap on episode 13 of Evan's Wings. As always, feel free to connect with me. I'd love to hear from anyone who's actually listening to the show. Hasn't happened yet. Questions, comments, suggestions, you can send them all my way. There are two ways to contact me right now. That is over by Kik or Instagram.

On both both of those platforms you can find me at evan deanson that's e-v-a-n-d-e-a-n-s-o-n that's my pseudonym evan deanson send me your questions and comments and i may use them in a future episode i would love that and remember Eva is also willing to answer any questions you have. So if you want to ask, if you want me to ask her, you know, get a woman's perspective to say so. And if that's the case, I'll actually have her come on the show again as a guest host to address those questions.

So we've had a lot of fun co-hosting two episodes so far, which are episodes 8 and 10, if you're interested in going back and listening to them, if you haven't already. And so we'd love to do that again. So if she has questions to answer from listeners, that gives her a very good excuse to join me so so send those questions with that i'll say goodbye take care everyone be safe be naughty swing on