Episode 1: Every Saga Has a Beginning

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care as it swinger lifestyle from a male point of view. I am your host, Evan Deansin. Admittedly, that's not my real name. I use the name Evan for discretionary reasons, but I'm half of a lifestyle couple. My wife is Eva, also a pseudonym, and we have been in the lifestyle since 2021. We were born in the mid-70s, so you can do the math to figure out our ages.

My wife is not much of a chatter and didn't have any interest in creating this podcast with me, and that's okay. I figure it might actually be more interesting to have a podcast about swinging from a completely male perspective. Now, I have listened to several other podcasts for swingers about swingers, about swinging, but most that I've listened to are produced by couples. So I thought I might be in the minority and create one from I don't know.

And most that I've listened to are produced by couples, so I thought I might be in the minority and create one from just the male half of a swinger couple. And here we are. Welcome to my first episode. Glad you are here, and I hope you find what I have to say both entertaining and informative. So this is my introductory episode and the topics I am going to discuss are why I decided to create this podcast and also how Eva and I got into the lifestyle. So sit back and enjoy and let me tell you all about it.

So before I go any further, I have to say that I was inspired to do this podcast by another podcast that I've come to really enjoy, and it's called The Accidental Swingers. If you have never listened to their podcast, I highly recommend it. Being honest, you should probably stop listening to this podcast and go listen to theirs. I mean, not only are they very entertaining, but they're so informative. I have learned so much about the lifestyle just listening to their stories and hearing their perspectives.

Listening to them has really helped me on my journey and indirectly helped Eva and me as a couple. They have no doubt played a major role in the lives of their listeners across the country and beyond. So I wanted to give them a shout out here. Thank you so much for all you do and for inspiring me to do this podcast. So why am I doing this podcast? What makes me think what I have to say should be heard by others? Well, first of all, I have to say this, okay? I am not in this for fortune or fame, okay?

I have absolutely no plans to have this podcast become profitable now if it happens i won't turn down extra cash but it is not my intention when i listened to the accidental swingers i heard about their adventures good and bad and i was able to relate to them. I was able to compare my experiences or our experiences to theirs. I was able to better understand the lifestyle and what Eva and I wanted as swingers.

It so nice to to just compare our situation and in our existence in the lifestyle with another couple who are approximately the the same age as us there are things I agree with them about and and there's things I disagree with but I realized we're all in the same boat as to what the lifestyle offers us and if their experiences and their stories helped me then i thought you know what maybe our experiences eva and mine maybe our stories can do the same for others. And even if they don't necessarily help in any way, they might at least offer some entertainment value. So that's why I'm doing this.

I just want to share our experiences with the swinger world it's it's fun to share as as swingers will agree it is fun to share um it's fun to hear different perspectives now even i have even i have learned so much in our three years in the lifestyle and I'm saying three years. It's almost three years at the recording of this episode. So I thought it would be nice to put our stories out there for the world. We are by no means experts on swinging.

But we have been in the lifestyle long enough that I feel we can at least offer somebody or something to anybody willing to listen to our stories and our adventures. So with that, let's get into our first story. And that, my friends, is how we became swingers. How we decided to take the plunge into this magnificent lifestyle. my story actually begins in 1999 that's when uh eva and i were were married we met in college uh we we fell in love and were married the summer after we graduated, which was in 1998. Now, Eva and I at the time had a limited sexual experience.

We were both each other's second partner. Eva had had a boyfriend in high school and was pretty sexually active with him during that time. She broke up with her boyfriend. It was sophomore year of college. And then started dating me a few months later. And as for me, I was much less experienced, sexually speaking. I had sex one time with one girl. It was a very forgettable experience. It happened when I was 18 years old as a college freshman. Then I met Eva the following year.

So we married and we have a family we have three kids a house dogs careers the whole shebang okay but again our story actually starts in 1999 after we were married that's when I started DJing my friend who I actually got to know through my wife because he was a he was a high school friend of my wife's he asked me to DJ a wedding with him Thank you. who I actually got to know through my wife because he was a high school friend of my wife's. He asked me to DJ a wedding with him.

Now, he had started playing around with a bunch of DJ equipment that he came to get a hold of, but he didn't like to speak publicly in front of other people, like on a microphone. And I had no issue with that. So he and I started a DJ business. Well, he started it and I was just brought, uh, brought along willingly.

We always, uh, DJed events together as a duo and we always had a heck of a good time our customers loved us because not only were we fun but we were also comparatively very cheap so we dj'd a lot multiple weekends a month so my partner and i talked a lot i mean there's a there's a lot of downtime when you when you dj a wedding So, actually, the story now is going to take a big jump. My partner and I DJed for many, many years. So that brings us up to the 2010s.

Because we DJed so much together, we established a great friendship and ultimate trust okay by that i mean uh he and i shared feelings uh shared things that that we couldn't really share with anyone else he knew his secrets were safe with me and mine were safe with him well in the 2010s he and his wife decided to become swingers. At every DJ event we did, he would tell me all these stories about their lifestyle experiences. And I was transfixed. I was just captivated. I would love hearing his stories. They were so exciting.

They were naughty and exciting And I couldn't believe that someone I knew was having so much fun. Like someone I knew, a good friend of mine was a swinger. And I wondered, what would it be like if Eva and I were swingers? Now, I admit that I was a little jealous of how fun and exciting the lifestyle, the lifestyle seemed to be. But I kept my partner's swing lifestyle secret from my wife. Okay, I consider myself a very trustworthy individual, and he asked me to keep it secret. So damn it, I was going to keep it secret, even from my wife. Now, about this time, a change was occurring in me.

Now, I don't want to bring religion into my podcast, but I feel that it is necessary to just mention it here because it did play a part in all this. So I'll try to touch on this part really briefly. And I probably will never bring up religion in my podcast ever again. Probably. Okay, so a change was occurring in me. I was brought up Catholic. And Eva was brought up Catholic. We were practicing Catholics. Our kids, they went to Catholic school. But something was changing in me. I didn't want to be Catholic anymore, okay?

I don't want to delve into why or how this occurred, but I became agnostic, okay? With that change came a change in the way that I viewed sex. As a Catholic, I was always taught that sex was supposed to be an act of love between a husband and a wife masturbation was bad sex before marriage was bad sex with birth control was bad well my shift to agnosticism, with that came a major shift in my views about sex. Could sex really just be about pleasure? Could there be loveless sex? You know, sex just for enjoyment? Yes, yes, there could. I began to see that there could be a difference.

Like there can be a difference between making love, having sex and fucking. Sex can just be about physical pleasure. It could be just about all right it's you know just because i have sex with another woman doesn't mean i love her okay i love my wife i only want my life my wife as a life partner but couldn't it wouldn't it be fun if we brought other people into our bedroom so that was kind of what started it all hearing firsthand stories from my dj partner coupled with the way i felt about traditional cath values regarding sex, that led me to believe, yeah, yeah, I would love to be a swinger.

Actually, to be honest, all right, it started out as, man, I would love to have a threesome with my wife and another lady. that's actually how it started. But there was one huge, massive obstacle preventing me from making that happen. And that, of course, was my wife. She came from a very strong Catholic family. She was the one who was more insistent about, you know, things like going to church with our kids, sending them to Catholic school, all that stuff. Okay. I was more insistent about things like going to church with our kids, sending them to Catholic school, all that stuff.

I was more of a lazy Catholic anyway. But I remember one of the first things Eva's mom asked about when we first started dating, one of the first things she asked about was was i catholic it was very important to her family so not only did i keep the fact that i wanted to have a threesome secret but i also kept secret the fact that i was now agnostic i just didn't know what i believed anymore but i knew that i did not want to be part of the Catholic religion anymore. I went to church and played the role.

I was admittedly scared to tell my wife the truth because I feared it would ruin our marriage. And ladies and gentlemen, looking back, that may have been a terrible decision. We will never know for sure. Okay. But I kept those secrets for over a decade. It, it ate me up inside. It really did. It contributed to my depression. It contributed to my anxiety because yes, I have suffered from depression and anxiety in my life. And it contributed to me being generally unhappy, which my wife picked up on and made her unhappy.

We had some unhappy times in our marriage, and I admit that a lot of it was my fault. And I'm hoping you listeners will learn some lessons from listening to this podcast. So here's the first one. Always be open and honest with your spouse. Good communication is absolutely essential for a lasting, happy marriage. and i almost ruined my marriage because I was a poor communicator. I was afraid to tell my wife what I was truly feeling. And I did so because I felt like I was trying to protect our marriage, but in actuality, I was doing more harm than good.

So my secrets endured for a long, long time. I kept DJing. I kept hearing these amazing tales from my partner. Now, please understand, Eva and I were married at the age of 22. Okay. Well, I, I shouldn't, well, I was, I was, um, I was 22. Eva was going to be 23 the next day. Okay. She turned 23 the day after we got married. So 20, so we were about 23. Let's just, let's just put it that way. Now, some people experience sexual freedom in their 20s. They sow their oats, so to speak. I never did that. Eva and I never did that. So I kind of began to feel like I was missing out.

Like I never had the chance to, to truly explore my sexuality. Now I love my wife dearly, but man, I wanted to have some wild fun. I felt, I felt like life was, was, it was passing me by and I was just boring as fuck I was just I was so vanilla and I had it in my mind that the best way to release my wild side was through sex but my secret's injured fast forward to let's do fast forward to, um, let's do fast forward to, I think it was, uh, I think it was 2019. Eva and I decided to take a trip to Hocking Hills, which for those of you who don't know, it's a, a touristy southern Ohio.

There are caves there and forests and hiking trails and amusement areas with zip lines and, of course, hotels, cabins, things like that. And we stayed at this hotel called Ravenwood Castle, which we highly recommend, by the way. It was during that stay that things began to change. Now, maybe it was the alcohol or the romantic environment. I don't know. But I felt at that time closer to Eva than I have felt in a long, long time. We spent a couple of days there together alone, so we ended up having some pretty deep conversations. At some point, somehow, I figured, what the hell?

And I confessed my secret about wanting to have a threesome someday. Eva was not angry at all. She was not upset at all. Now, she wasn't exactly receptive to the idea. It's not like she said, okay, let's do it. No, but she said, she said she would think about it. She, she honestly said she would think about it. it. And I was shocked and I was over the moon. Not just because she said she'd think about it, but because I was able to open up to my wife and tell her something that I should have told her long ago. But we never talked about it seriously again after that.

I think maybe she thought it was just a silly fantasy of mine. So, like, I joked about it on many occasions after that, but I didn't think she was ever really considering it. Let's fast forward again to the fall of 2020. as i mentioned earlier i suffer from depression and anxiety without me really knowing it or realizing it it was starting to affect eva greatly to the point where she had considered leaving me, which I found out later on. I was really moody. I hated my life at times. I felt like life wasn't worth living, to be honest.

There were times I found myself wishing I was never born, and it was bad. So I went to counseling, I got on anti-depression meds, and it helped a lot. But I was still keeping things from Eva. And it finally reached a boiling point. Eva gave me an ultimatum. She insisted that we seek marriage counseling. Otherwise, she might move on. So that's what we did. We went to marriage counseling. And ladies and gentlemen, it was life-changing. It gave me the strength and confidence to talk to Eva about some of the reasons I was unhappy.

So, yes, I was doing a lot to make her unhappy, but she was making me unhappy in many ways too. Okay, so it wasn't totally on me. So a lot came out during our counseling sessions. My secret about not wanting to be Catholic and being agnostic finally came to light. And her reaction was like, yeah, so what? I was afraid that she might divorce me for saying I didn't want to be Catholic anymore. Instead, she practically brushed it off. What in the actual fuck? All this time, all this fear, fear for our marriage. And it wasn't a big deal to her. She still loved me. And you'll never believe this.

She really didn't want to be Catholic anymore either. So it made me think, why was I ever holding back from telling my loving wife exactly how I felt? Oh, mind-boggling to this day. So, one December of 2020 we were in bed and I decided it was time to have a serious talk about that threesome again I suddenly felt like I could tell my wife anything and she would still love me she may not agree but I was confident that she wouldn't be kicking me to the curb either like I I once feared. So I did. I brought it up.

Just like at our romantic getaway in Hocking Hills, she wasn't super enthused about it, but she wasn't angry. She wasn't grossed out. She wasn't repulsed. She wasn't upset. No. She actually said that she would think about it. Like, like, uh, legitimately think about it. And I thought that's better than nothing. In fact, all I could ask was for her to consider it. And that's what she did. Fast forwarding again to Valentine's Day 2021. I will never, ever forget that morning. We woke up lazily in bed because it was a weekend, I believe.

And we were just laying there when Eva leans over or rolls over, I should say, and says to me, I want to give you your Valentine's Day present. You know what you've been asking me to do? I've thought about it. I'm okay with it. Let's do it. Now I'm paraphrasing a little bit there, but that was a defining moment in our marriage, a defining moment in our lives that triggered our dive into the lifestyle. So I'm recording this more than three years after that Valentine's day. And interestingly enough, we've still never had, we have still never had that threesome.

She said she was okay with having on that unforgettable Valentine's day morning. No, we still never done it. But it served as a springboard into the lifestyle. Our first experience was in June of 2021, which I will discuss in my next episode. But it also served as a stepping stone in our marriage. Ever since that day, Eva and I have only grown closer and closer, and our marriage has only gotten stronger. It truly is We'll see you next time. Eva and I have only grown closer and closer, and our marriage has only gotten stronger.

It truly is incredible what being in the lifestyle has done for us in our marriage. Outsiders to the lifestyle would probably think the opposite.

And I'm sure the lifestyle has actually ended some marriages but but there are also many many like eva i believe eva and i who who have only become closer and closer and as corny as this sounds more in love with every passing day so that's how we got into the lifestyle now why do we stay in the lifestyle i guess the simplest way to explain it is that it is fun we have had more fun in the last three years in our mid to late 40s than we had in our teens 20s and 30s combined eva says that it's empowering it's empowering for her as a woman.

She gets to do what she wants with her body when she wants to do it. I find it to be a huge confidence boost too. I've always had low self-esteem, but in the lifestyle, there are actually attractive women who want to have sex with me me it's crazy but again the most important thing is that it's so damn fun we are living out fantasies and exploring our sexuality and having an absolute blast. We're learning new things about ourselves that we never knew. And we would never know if it wasn't for being in the lifestyle and having additional sexual partners.

So I will get more into that in later episodes. But for now, I'm going to sign off. My next episode, I'll talk about the gap between Valentine's Day and June 6th of 2021 when we had our first lifestyle lifestyle experience. And I'll tell you all about that, that first lifestyle experience. Thank you for listening. I do hope you'll join me for another episode in the meantime feel free to reach out to me with any questions you might have you can find me on kick and instagram at evan deanson that's e-v-a-n-d-e-a-n-s-o-n evan deanson take care everyone