Ep. 56: No Expectations (a club story)

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles. Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Evan's Wings, a lifestyle podcast from a guy's perspective. I'm your host, Evan, and I welcome you to the show. For those new around here, my wife Eva and I have been in the lifestyle for over four years now. It has been an incredible journey. So I decided to do this little podcast as a way to share our adventures and hopefully entertain and or inform those interested in hearing about them. Just remember, I am not an expert, just an average guy doing average guy things in the lifestyle. And so all my returning listeners, thank you for joining me again.

Your continued support is greatly appreciated. Just passed the 4,000 mark on Spotify in terms of number of streams, so that makes me feel at least some of you out there are enjoying what I have to say. So thank you, everyone, for your support. Now before I begin, I just got to tell you, I'm a little bit under the weather. So my voice may not be sounding the same. I may have to cough. But I'll tell you what, having pneumonia is no fun. And the only thing that I can think of that I've had before that's worse is the flu.

But pneumonia, oh my gosh, for sure a close second, especially for how long it lasts. My goodness, I just can't shake this thing. All right, let's get into it. Today's episode is all about a recent trip to a local lifestyle club. i wanted to share our experience as I think it has some interesting components that may offer some good insight. And maybe you'll be mildly entertained hearing about it, hopefully at least. So here we go. As I've mentioned many times on this podcast, we live in the Dayton, Ohio area where there isn't exactly a hotbed of lifestyle activity.

The nearest club to us, well, decent, clean, respectable club is in the Columbus area. It's called Club princeton it's about i would say about a 90 minute drive for us to get there probably a little less if it if it were closer eva and i would probably go more often but as it stands now we go i would say three or four times a year. We love going. We really do. But Eva and I are kind of shy when it comes to meeting new people at a club. So we usually only attend when we can go with another couple. You know, like go with a couple on kind of like a date. Like that's our date for the evening.

We go to the club. We go with the expectation of spending our time with that particular couple we arrive with or meet there. But there are exceptions. And that's the story I want to tell you about today. Eva and I decided a while back that we really wanted to attend Club Princeton's annual Halloween party. We did not have a date lined up, you know, like another couple, nor did we try to find one. We just wanted to go, the two of us, you know, and just have a great time. So, excuse me, that's the experience I want to tell you about today.

But before I get to that experience, before I get to the experience at the club, I want to talk about what happened before the club, like before we left. Now remember, please, this is a podcast from a male perspective. This is my point of view, my commentary as a dude, as just an average Joe in the lifestyle. So with that in mind, I have a question, mostly for my male listeners out there. Thank you. Joe in the lifestyle. So with that in mind, I have a question mostly for my male listeners out there.

Do you find yourself waiting on your wife or girlfriend, like excessively prior to lifestyle events? I am asking because I wonder, I wonder if what I'm about to talk about is typical for women or if Eva is more of the exception to the rule. I find myself constantly waiting for Eva to be ready to leave. It never fails. Nine out of 10 times, we are late to a date with another couple by, I would say about 10, 15 minutes, nine times out of 10. And it is never because of me. Now I understand, I completely understand that women have a lot more to do in terms of preparation.

us guys, we don't need to put on makeup, or paint our nails, or spend a lot of time on our hair. Generally speaking, of course. I totally understand that. But what frustrates me is that a person should take that into consideration. Like, start getting ready earlier. Know that you are always late, so give yourself extra time so that we can leave on time. But no matter what time I tell Eva, she will never be ready by that time, like ever. It has reached the point where I have resorted to some trickery.

If we were supposed to leave for a lifestyle event at 7 o'clock, for example, I will tell her we need to leave at 6.45, knowing that she will fall behind schedule and will leave closer to 7 o'clock anyway. I feel bad tricking her, but she is actually well aware that I do this, and doesn't mind that I do it. For this Halloween party at Club Princeton, I knew it was going to be insanely crowded. Like, I even heard it was sold out, and I don't recall it ever being sold out before.

I wanted to get there a bit earlier, you know, than we usually do so that we could avoid a line at the door so that we could get a decent parking spot so that we could get a locker, which are our first come first serve at the the club. And so we could be seated at our table and people watch as other guests arrived. We typically arrive at the club around 9 p.m., I would say. So I told Eva that I thought we should get there around 8.30 this time around. Stupidly, I did not use any trickery here. Eva just said, okay, we should leave at 7. And I agreed.

But I knew, I just knew that there was no way in hell we would be leaving at 7. What time did we leave? 7.30. 30 minutes later than I wanted to. And ladies and gentlemen, I try to be patient. I try to be understanding, especially when experience has taught me that this is going to happen virtually every time. Yet, I can't help it. I still find myself getting frustrated, especially on a night like this, a sold out club event. I wanted to get there early. So I'm just curious about this. Is Eva an exception? Are all you women out there in the lifestyle better at staying on time than her?

Or is it, I don't know, just kind of like an unspoken, unwritten rule that women, or some women, because of the admittedly extra prep time needed, are going to run behind schedule? I'm just curious. Oh, but it gets better, by the way. We hop in the car to head to Columbus. Remember, about 90-minute drive for us. I had already packed our drinks, our shag bag, our snacks for the drive home. I put everything in the car, ready to go. So when Eva was ready, all we'd have to do is get in the car and go. Thank you. I put everything in the car, ready to go.

So when Eva was ready, all we'd have to do is get in the car and go. So we're already 30 minutes behind schedule, and we finally head out. We get 20 minutes away. We're on the highway. And Eva suddenly starts looking around her like she can't find something. I ask her what's wrong, and she she says I don't see my costume. So I pull over at the next exit and she searches the car. The costume is nowhere to be found. She forgot her damn costume. Even being 30 minutes late she still managed to forget her costume for a Halloween party.

She insisted that we just go to the club and she would, you know, walk in as is. But we had a couple's costume and I wanted what I was wearing to make sense. I wanted her to have her costume. It was a Halloween party after all. I felt she needed the costume. So I drove back the 20 minutes home. She ran in and grabbed her costume that she left sitting on the back of our couch, and we finally got on track to head to the club. Let's do the math here, okay?

okay left 30 minutes late then did basically 40 minutes of extra driving so now we are an hour and 10 minutes behind schedule we arrived at the club around 9 30 after i drove like a bat out of hell so we were about an hour later than I wanted to be. And as I feared, there was a huge line that was literally out the door. We had to park in a lot down the street. The club has a lot and a backup lot like across the street from the club. I had never seen both lots completely full upon arrival. So we had to park at a different lot down the street and I don't I don't even think it was club property.

When we got inside lockers on the ground floor were all taken but we made it. We got there and could finally relax and have some fun. Okay, so I guess I should talk about the title of this episode, No Expectations. Unless you are going to a club with another couple or have prearranged plans to play with others at the club, my advice is you should always go to a club with no expectations. and don't just take my word for it this is a a common sentiment if if uh if you visit um lifestyle forums out there. You will find that same sentiment on virtually every lifestyle forum that exists.

I have seen people, both couples and singles, post on sites like Reddit and Facebook about what they should expect at the club. Usually when going for the first time, like a first-time visitor. I have even seen people post things like, so who's going to play with us tonight? Or, you know, who would be willing to play with us tonight or you know who would be willing to play with us every time without fail others respond saying things like this is not the way to go into an experience at the club go in with no expectations except to have fun being in that environment.

Talk to people if that's your thing. People watch if that's your thing. But don't expect to meet someone and fuck them that night. Because then, if it doesn't happen, well, you've just set yourself up for some major disappointment just just go and enjoy yourself let things happen if it was meant to be it was meant to be if not dance drink and enjoy yourself in a lifestyle club environment which is an amazing environment judgment-free so much fun Thank you very much. yourself in a lifestyle club environment, which is an amazing environment. Judgment-free. So much fun.

And that's the attitude Eva and I adopted for the evening. No expectations. Just going to have fun, enjoy seeing all the people in their costumes, and enjoy each other's company. Now, we did have two couples that we hoped to meet that night. I will just refer to them as couple one and couple two. Both couples had interacted with us online. One reached out to us on SDC and the other on an app called 3Fun. It just happened to be that we were all going to this event and we said that we would, you know, just say hello if we saw each other. There were no like concrete plans or anything.

Couple number one seemed to have a lot in common with us. So we admittedly hoped that we would see them, chat with them, and discover we had some good chemistry. Now, notice I didn't say play with them, but just meet them.

Couple number two, um we had kind of a interesting vibe from they lived very close to us in an adjacent city to ours so so we like that you know local couples are hard to find i've complained about that many times but their photos weren't the best and they just they just kind of put out a strange vibe you know we we've learned to trust our gut in the lifestyle and our gut wasn't very confident here however no expectations we're happy to say hello and see if our gut was wrong. It has happened before.

So I guess I will just explain what ended up happening with that couple, with couple number two. We had told them where our table was. tables are hard to come by and Eva and I we really don't like not having one. We like to have a place to set our drinks down, to take a load off, and people watch. Now, being the kind people we are, at least I think we are, we had told couple number two, even though we were, you know, on the fence about them, that they could come to our table at any time and use it as a home base.

They could set their drinks down on their on the table or their purse, whatever, and, you know, sit and chat with us. well they never showed up at our table about halfway through the evening we did end up seeing them i want to say they were the only couple there without a costume on he just wore like this gray t-shirt like it was like a concert shirt i think and she wore a nice dress you know it just wasn't they weren't costumes unless it was something obscure that i didn't recognize but she looked much much different than her. And not in a good way.

And I will add to that, Eva was also not impressed with the dude. Seeing him in person for the first time. Now, I'm sorry if that sounds shallow or superficial. But as I've said many times, you know, physical appearance, physical attraction plays a very important role in the lifestyle. You are certainly not going to play with somebody that you are not attracted to. So we discussed what to do. Okay. You know, seeing them in person, we knew now we were definitely not interested.

Neither of us found them attractive, you know, physically, but we felt we could still be polite and approach them and say hello. Or maybe we could not. You know, there was no rule that said we had to. So, we decided that we already invited them to join us at our table. They could come and introduce themselves at any time. The ball was in their court. We gave them the opportunity, but they never took it. We saw them across the dance floor and they just, they just never looked happy. Like they never looked like they were enjoying themselves.

Then at another point in the evening, I saw her storm away from him, shaking her head and huffing, leaving him standing alone in a hallway. Not the best impression, not the best vibes. I hate to say it, but we are very glad that they never approached us. Perhaps, perhaps they didn't like what they saw in us. Maybe, you know, maybe they, maybe they did see us and they just didn't like what they saw. And that's totally fine. Eva and I are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. We understand that. It was just kind of odd that they never came over to the table and at least say hello.

Maybe they were avoiding us after seeing what we looked like in person. Very possible. Regardless, Eva and I view it as a dodged bullet. I have, at this very moment, I have yet to check my messages on 3Fun to see if they reached out. But if they did, I am unfortunately going to have to explain politely that we are just no longer interested. However, couple number one. Let's talk about them. Wow, boy, did we hit it off with them. Eva very rarely is so attracted to a guy that she actively pursues him, but that's what happened this night.

We saw couple number one standing by some table, so we decided to say hello. We introduced ourselves and chatted for about 10 minutes, and we seemed to all be feeling a really good vibe. But I don't like to push things. I knew we were one of three couples they hoped to chat with that evening. And one of those couples actually came up to them while we were chatting with them. We didn't want to overdo it. So we told them we hoped to talk to them later. And, you know, moved on, went back to our table. And we didn't see them again for probably, I don't know, maybe an hour, maybe a little more.

During that time, Eva kept asking me if I had seen them and suggested we go look for them. She was very attracted to this guy, But I preached patience patience I explained they knew where we were sitting we invited them to join us if and when they were interested in doing so so we just had to be patient and let them come to us we didn't want to be overbearing or come across as pushy in any way. Sure enough, they showed up at our table. And I apologize, my dog, as usual, is shaking her head and making noises. So I apologize for that. And as I said earlier, boy, did we hit it off.

He sat close to Eva and I sat close to the wife. And we talked you know, as, as a whole, as the four of us, but also had plenty of side conversations as well. It wasn't long before I looked up and Eva is suddenly making out with the guy. Very hot by the way. But as you know, I am more of the shy type, uh, when it comes to. So I wasn't making a move, even though I wanted to kiss her very badly. So we just kept talking. Now, I don't know if you will think this is borderline crazy or stalkerish or overdoing it, overprotective, but I have this thing, all right?

I never, I never let Eva walk around by herself at the club. Ever since a friend of ours told us about an experience where she went to the restroom and when she came out, a pushy single guy practically ambushed her therefore i always walk eva to the restroom wait for her and walk her walk her back to her to her table i consider that the gentlemanly thing to do um eva is a grown woman she can handle herself she doesn't need me to do that, it just makes me feel better.

Couple number one didn't have a similar view, because when the wife said she was going to the restroom, her husband was fully prepared to let her go alone. As she started walking away, I asked the husband if it would be okay if I escorted her. He said, sure, and I did. I really did just, I just wanted to come across as a gentleman and, you know, hoped I didn't come across as overprotective of someone I had literally just met. But, you know, I really did want to escort her. Plus, I wanted to give Eva some alone time with the husband.

Well, my plan worked, because as I waited outside the restroom for the wife to be done, I looked back towards our table, and Eva and the guy are making out out hard he had her top up and was sucking on her boobs and she was practically in his lap arms wrapped all around each other it was literally the hottest thing i saw all evening i love seeing eva so turned on and going at it like that with a guy. It's just, it's so hot to me.

When we returned to the table, we kept talking and, uh, the wife and I, um, and she, she and I started doing some petting, I guess you'd say, like I was rubbing her thighs and back and she was rubbing my leg, getting ever so close to my dick. nice teasing then at one point i think she got tired of waiting for me to make a move because i saw her tuck her hair behind her ears like like she was getting ready for something and sure enough she moved in a kiss. So I did not hold back. I kissed her back and we made out for a little bit. All very nice. She was an amazing kisser. Just a lot of fun.

I'll fast forward now because we did a lot of talking. We discovered we had a ton in common, especially board games. Eva and I are board game nerds, so it was awesome to find another couple who loved them seemingly as much as we did. We hit it off so well that the husband invited us to play that evening. And that's where we had one of the biggest role reversals ever. Here we go. us to play that evening. And that's where we had one of the biggest role reversals ever. If you have been listening to me a while, you'll already know that Eva and I have a rule. We don't play on the first date.

We usually insist on a vanilla first date, then the second date can be a play date if all goes well. This is Eva's rule, not mine. But of course, I have to respect it and go along with it. I support it. My feeling about it is, you know, why not? If everyone is feeling it, why wait till the second date. But tonight it was different. Eva was raring to go. So was I. All right. We all wanted it. And Eva says to me, she goes, it's up to you. Apparently I was the deciding vote, and I voted no. The problem was, there was no hotel room to go back to.

If we were going to play, we would have to play at the club. You probably know this already if you've listened a bunch to me, but I have anxiety issues. I take meds to help, but playing at a club environment puts it into overdrive. I do not like playing at the club. You have the loud music, the tight quarters, the high temperatures. In certain places, people are able to see you playing. And then I, I hate to say it, I'm a little bit of a germaphobe. And when you have a sold-out party, who knows how many people have been fucking on a certain bed. That's just...

Oh, and then you have the crinkly material that they put down underneath the sheets, you know, to prevent, like, squirting from ruining a mattress or something like that. That is very distracting. So, I have successfully played at the club twice. Once was with my wife. I was, of course, able to pull that off because she's my wife and I am most comfortable with her than any other woman, of course. and then if you were to go back way back to episode 32 you will hear my story of how I played with this smoking hot woman named Kate at that same club. She made me feel so, so comfortable.

She gave me compliments all night and understood that it was going to be my first time ever playing at a club she was very understanding and kind so I felt like even if I couldn't perform she wouldn't be really upset you know upset with me or anything and we had hung out a bit before before uh that that particular evening at a hotel takeover. I felt like I knew her, at least a little. All that made me feel so comfortable that I had no issues blocking out the surroundings and getting down to business. It was great. I had a great time.

But I was worried that this would not go as great I had just met this woman we we chat a bit online you know prior to meeting at the club but not a whole lot I knew her for a total of a couple of hours my brain was going into flight mode you know instead of instead of fight, fight or flight, it was in flight mode. I was so worried I would not be able to perform. So, my dear listeners, I finally had a situation where Eva was ready, willing and able to play without a vanilla first eight. And I was the one who blocked it.

Crazy to think about it at at least for me Eva's rule has admittedly cost us some partners and here she was fine with playing actually eager to play and I was the one who stopped it never would I have seen that coming at the start of the evening. And that goes back to what this episode is all about. No expectations. Eva and I had a blast that evening. We didn't play with anyone, but we enjoyed seeing all the costumes. We enjoyed the people watching. We enjoyed dancing with each other. And we very much enjoyed meeting some new friends. All because we went into the evening with no expectations.

We just wanted to have a good time. And we certainly did. So that is my advice to all you listeners out there. If're going to head to a club don't do it with the with the expectation that you are going to meet someone there and fuck them that evening instead just go and enjoy the environment whether you're with a spouse or a significant other or or as a single don't let whether or not you play at the club define the success of your evening just have fun okay just just have fun i hope you enjoyed this week's episode of evan swings and i I hope you will be back next time.

I received some interesting comments from listeners regarding last week's episode, so I do hope to get into that a little bit in two weeks from now. In the meantime, you're always welcome to reach out to me with questions, comments, thoughts, suggestions, whatever. Find me on Blue Sky by searching for the Evan Swings page, or find me on Instagram or Kik. My username for both is Evan Deenson, E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N. Or, of course, you can just shoot me an old-fashioned email at evandeanson at gmail.com.

Until next time, be safe, be wild, and remember, you only get one life, so live it to the fullest. Take care, everyone.