Ep. 50: Poison Ivy (Part 1)

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hello, my lifestyle friends, and welcome to Evan Swings, a lifestyle podcast from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. That would, of course, be me. For those new to the podcast, thank you. Thank you for giving it a shot. I'm Evan. My wife, Eva, and I have been in the lifestyle for just over four years now. As I usually say, we're no experts. I just like sharing our experiences, mostly for entertainment value. But of course, I also hope that my stories are relatable to others in the lifestyle, maybe even those who are newer and still learning how to navigate.

That is why I am here, and I'm glad you are here to join me. This is episode 50, kind of a milestone. I never thought I'd actually make it to 50. I had actually, I'd considered doing something special for my 50th episode, but ultimately, I just decided just to keep doing what I've been doing but I do But ultimately, I just decided just to keep doing what I've been doing. But I do have what I consider to be a dandy of a story for you today. Quick shout out to some fans of the show from Belgium. Yes, all the way over in Belgium. Thank you for listening, A and S.

and thank you for reaching out and saying hello. I want to start off today's episode with a question that was sent to me via email by someone or someones who signed their message M and K. I will, of course, keep their email address confidential. confidential actually it's not even a question it's just a statement it says evan love the show in a lot of your shows you mention that the women you are with are out of your league i'm wondering if you are hotter than you lead us to believe. This message literally made me laugh out loud. Thank you for the message, M&K. And thank you for listening.

Come to think of it, I probably do say that a lot, don't I? I talk about how my nerves kick in on playdates because I start thinking that I'm not nearly good looking enough for the, for the woman to be attracted to me. You know, maybe, maybe she's doing it as a favor to her husband because he wants to be with Eva really badly Because, you know, as I've mentioned, Eva is freaking gorgeous. So yeah, I kind of get what you're saying.

Looking back on our four plus years in the lifestyle, I would have to say that we have had a, we've had a considerable amount of success finding couples for full swaps. And I have nothing or no one to compare that with, okay? I'm just saying we've had a good time. Some couples may consider, I don't know, 100 couples in four years as success. And some would say far less than that would still be considered as success. And trust me, we have been with far, far less than 100 couples. So yeah, I get what you may be saying.

You know, I have shared a lot of stories where Eva and I have had a great time, or at least, you know, we ended up having a full swap experience. So I can't just say, you know what, you're right, I'm a pretty darn handsome guy. Because I'll never see myself that way. I've always had low self-confidence, low self-esteem issues my entire life. The lifestyle has helped with that immensely. I have gained a lot of self-confidence that I never thought I would ever have. But I don't think, I don't think I will ever, ever believe that some of the beautiful women I'll see you next time.

that I never thought I would ever have. But I don't think, I don't think I will ever, ever believe that some of the beautiful women that I have mentioned throughout my podcast episodes, or even the ones I haven't mentioned, were not, in fact, playing down a level, so to speak. I consider myself to be average in terms of attractiveness to women. In fact, I always jokingly state that Eva is the bait. She attracts the male half of couples, and then if that guy ever expects to score with her, his other half has to be okay with me. I guess you could say I am doable.

One of Eva and I, one of our favorite expressions when we ask each other if we find someone attractive, we might say, well, I wouldn't kick her out of bed. And that's how I view myself, I guess. I'm not going to draw many eyes walking down a street or across a club.

But women probably wouldn't kick me out of bed if we ended up there I rely on my personality my sense of humor which I believe makes a big difference when it comes to attraction I think people in general are more inclined to to find someone attractive if that person has a good personality, you know, if they're attracted to their personality, someone that they can have fun with, someone that can make them laugh, someone who is respectful and gentlemanly. i actually have a quick example. The last time Eva and I went to a club, it was pouring rain.

I dropped Eva off at the door, and then I went to park. I grabbed my umbrella, and as I was walking to the door from the parking lot, another couple was also walking alongside of me. I immediately held the umbrella over the woman so she wouldn't get rained on, soaking myself in the process.

And was very appreciative after the evening at the club eva and i went back to a hotel with some friends of ours and that same couple happened to be in the elevator and they started praising me right in front of eva and our friends they they thanked me again for being so gentlemanly with the umbrella and but to me it was it was a no-brainer Here we go.

Eva and our friends they they thanked me again for being so gentlemanly with the umbrella and but to me it was it was a no-brainer I mean any gentleman in that situation should have done the same I think I think doing things like that makes one more attractive you Showing respect. Showing kindness. I bet that woman... makes one more attractive. You know, showing respect, showing kindness. I bet that woman, who I kept dry, found me just a little more attractive than she would have had I not had that opportunity to be chivalrous.

I hope that I have addressed your comment mnk i appreciate you emailing me and i um i wish i could real uh reveal a photo for you to to you know photo of myself for you to judge but i gotta keep things discreet which brings me to one more item of business before moving on to my main story for today speaking of being discreet I do try to maintain my anonymity to some degree I mean as I said before Evan's not my real namea is not my wife's real name i never give an exact location of where we live um yeah so i try to be a little discreet however it was it was demonstrated recently by a loyal listener that if you want to know what Eva and I look like, if you want to find photos of us, you can do it rather easily with a bit of detective work.

I'm not going to reveal how, but a fan of the podcast did decide to take it upon themselves to find us on one of the lifestyle apps i've mentioned to say hello and put a face to this voice and they succeeded i'm not going to say how they did it because i certainly don't want to encourage it and lose the, you know, lose additional secrecy, but it is possible. All right, now to the good stuff. I have been waiting and waiting to do this episode. It has been a long time coming.

I was waiting until something either panned out well for me or catastrophically fell apart because one of the two was going to happen. Well, the verdict is in. One of those two things did happen, and let me tell you all about it. It is no secret that Eva and I, I've talked about this many times before, Eva and I find the occasional separate solo play date very exciting. not only does it excite us to participate, but we each, we both, also find it to be a turn-on when the other person engages in it. It had been about a year and a half since I have had the opportunity to go on a solo playdate.

Lack of options. Eva had a few within the same time frame and I had been on a seemingly endless search to find a willing partner. That's where Ivy comes in. I'm calling her Ivy and you will soon learn why. Eva and I have profiles on the usual, the more popular, I guess you'd say, SLS and SDC websites. But I also occasionally check in on some of the other apps out there. There's Field, 3Fun, ByCupid, just to name a few. I just keep a free profile on those and I actually use those as more of a profile for just me.

Eva is very prominent in the photos I include, like on those profiles, and I do mention that we are open to meeting new couples, but I make it pretty clear that I am looking for someone interested in solo dates or FMFs.

One day inune and i'm talking uh 2025 this year a woman reached out to me on one of those apps her profile photos were were not super revealing in fact they were they were just kind of like a couple of candid shots not very good lighting either so she seemed pretty cute but it was difficult to truly tell and her bio hit a lot of points that i was um that i was interested in she loved dogs she lived uh only about 15 to 20 minutes away. And she mentioned she was open to just about anything. Very intriguing, especially because she reached out to me.

And I can't remember that ever happening in our four years in the lifestyle where it was a real, real woman making contact with me. It's always turned out to be some kind of scam or someone I think is trying to sextort me. So, considering my past experience with scams and sextortion attempts, I was immediately leery. I mean, these things have never worked out for me. Why would it now? I went into it thinking it was a scam attempt. And I think at this point, that's the best way to go about it. Go into it thinking it's a scam. And if it turns out not to be, great.

But go into it being super cautious. We engage in some messaging, you you know usual back and forth stuff learning about each other feeling each other out a little bit she was not interested in sending me any additional pics that proved she was real though I explained that I was not very trusting because of previous experiences but she did point out that the that this particular app that we were communicating on I'll see you next time. not very trusting because of previous experiences.

But she did point out that this particular app that we were communicating on uses facial recognition technology to verify whether someone is indeed real. And her profile was, in fact, verified. But that still wasn't good enough for me. I decided I would still play along though and see where this was heading. Then came what I thought was a huge red flag. She said she hated messaging on this particular app and wanted me to text her at her actual phone number which she provided.

She wanted to meet me at a public place for dinner, and said that we could communicate about that date using our actual phone numbers. And I thought, there it is. Giving me an actual phone number is usually a telltale sign that this is some sort of scam. But I played along still, and I texted her using one of those free texting apps that are out there. And I even said to her that I was using an app-based number, not my real number, until we met in person.

She was not happy about that she wrote back to say she didn't think we were a match she didn't want to meet someone who was so uh distrust distrusting and would be so skeptical skeptical about meeting at a public She said how i was acting was a red flag to her using a masked number and everything it was it was like a several paragraph message i thought to myself wow maybe this woman is real after all and i just blew it I mean she took the time to write all these paragraphs you know explaining why this was a red flag to her and how we wouldn't be a match then I would think a scam artist would have just not responded or just moved on quickly realizing that i had been defeated I conceded I texted her back and I apologized I explained that I had been the victim of a bad sextortion attempt and so now it was hard to trust someone who just contacted me so I conceded that you know we were not a match and then i i also thanked her i thanked her for giving me hope that there is a real woman out there willing to take a chance on me and that was it i figured i would never hear from her again and that's why I have to thank her boyfriend if I ever meet him.

I guess shortly after I sent that message, she had a conversation with her boyfriend about me.

She complained to him about how distrusting I was and how I was afraid to be the victim of a scam attempt and she didn't believe that that sort of thing even happened and that's when her boyfriend admitted to her that he himself was the victim of a sextortion attempt previously that he had not told her about he told her um about how before this person he communicated with before they even met you know he was uh they exchanged photos and you know we're talking back and forth and sure enough the scammer told him that unless he paid, they were going to release his photos on his Facebook page and send them to his family and to his employer and ruin his life.

Ivy was shocked. She apparently had no idea that kind of scam stuff even existed in the lifestyle world. So she texted me. She said she owed me an apology. She explained what her boyfriend had told her. And she wondered if we could still meet someday. Well, I was thrilled. I thought this was dead in the water. But now, thanks to her boyfriend's story, this was still a possibility. A possibility. Because I knew there was still a chance that I was being tricked. We set a date for about a week later to meet for lunch at a restaurant that was, or that is, located near us.

Now we're talking, this is towards the end of June 2025. Eva and I discussed all the possibilities of this being an elaborate scam. Because it was certainly still a possibility. We came up with a plan. It was like planning some kind of police sting operation. I would arrive about 10 minutes early to the restaurant. I would identify all the exits. I would choose a seat close to other customers if possible. I would also bring an extra phone and an extra wallet. If I was put in a situation where someone demanded my phone or wallet, I would hand them the decoys and run off as fast as I could.

The plan was put in motion on that day I got a seat in the bar area of the restaurant first table closest to the front door and also close to the hostess. We were supposed to meet at 1 p.m. And she texted me just before 1 saying that she was running a bit behind. Red flag, right? Something was up. Then she asked if I could stand outside the restaurant and wait for her there. Another red flag. Was she going to do like a drive-by and check me out first? Was she setting me up to be outside so one of the thugs she brought along could grab me and pull me into the nearby alley?

Well, I counteracted that and said I was already inside and told her where to find me. Well, she arrived. She actually arrived by herself, and she was much more beautiful than I expected. She smiled and gave me a hug right away, and then she asked if we could move to a booth because she didn't like tables red flag I don't know was someone like some goon that she brought going to show up and then slide into the booth next to me so I couldn't get out my mind was obviously on high alert because of you know because i I know that there are so many dishonest people out there.

But it was nothing like that, I am happy to say. We had a delightful time together. We stayed for two hours just talking and laughing and just kind of getting comfortable with each other. And towards the end of it, after explaining how I was new to this, you know, because this was actually new to both Eva and myself. You know, I was going out on a date with someone that neither of us had ever met. You know, all our previous solo dates in the past have been with half of a couple that we have met before.

So I asked what our next step was, and she immediately said, well, I would like to see you again. And fireworks went off in my head. I was so happy to hear this. I didn't have to, you know, try to read her or look for signals. I didn't have to wonder about what she thought. I didn't have to, you know, wait for a text from her indicating whether she enjoyed herself or not and wanted to see me again. She flat out told me she wanted to see me again. I walked her to her car, which she said she wasn't used to, by the way. Like, no guys did that for her, so shame on them. And then I headed home.

When Eva got home from work, we had intense sex. It was amazing. The fact that I went on a date with a woman that Eva had never even met before, surprisingly, turned out to be a huge turn-on for both her and me. Here we go. surprisingly turned out to be a huge turn-on for both her and me. Now, Ivy was a little different when it came to messaging. She made it very clear that she was overwhelmed easily and hated when guys would text her too often. You know, even with just little pleasantries like, good morning, and then again, good afternoon.

She liked messages with purpose, not just random chit chat with no substance. But she did say that she would appreciate it if I text her once in a while because, you know, I was thinking about her. She'd like to know when someone was thinking about her. Cool. So that's what I did. Well, I guess I misread what she meant. I texted her twice in about one week's time. You know, I would say maybe one week to 10 days. I texted her twice. And she wrote me back after that pretty much ending things. She said she was under the impression that I was becoming too attached.

Like, she explained that she really didn't want to date anyone. And she felt that's what it appeared I was looking for. She said we could still be friends, but that was about it. So I guess it was over. I blew it again. But damn it, since I was already pretty much down for the count, I decided to be very blunt and honest with her with my reply. I said I wasn't looking to date anyone either. I was not looking for dates.

Like I was not looking to go out on dates with another woman I was only texting her to tell her I was thinking about her because I thought that's what she wanted that's that's what she said that's what she told me she would like I said the only dates I was interested in were play dates I said some other stuff too but but I can't remember i can't really remember but the gist of it was i just wanted to have sex with her occasionally and i didn't use those exact words but i figured if anything if anything was going to seal the deal the fact that this was dead in the water what I said would do it.

I pretty much flat out told her look, I'm in it for the playdates. That's it. But in fact it had the opposite effect. She said that she misread the situation, and that is exactly what she was looking for too. Once again, I picked myself up off the mat and got back into the ring. It was the beginning of July now. The days turned into weeks, and Ivy and I had yet to have another date. We hadn't even talked about it. So, let talked about it. She was very erratic with texts. She was just very different than what I've been accustomed to with other people I've communicated with in the lifestyle.

Sometimes I would send her a message and she would go days without responding. And her responses would be very short, often not even answering questions that I asked, ignoring things like, I'd really love to see you again. I figured this was fizzling out. She then told me she was having medical issues and didn't know when she'd even be able to play with someone again. Yep, fizzling out for sure. I figured for the third time, this was over. Then, towards the end of July, She suddenly texted me and started asking me to ask Did I have any kinks? Things like that.

She said she was happy to hear my answers and thought we would be very compatible in the bedroom. She proposed another date and I was like, absolutely. I asked her what she had in mind and she responded with three words. Dinner and intimacy. And she actually put a question mark with that. So it was like dinner and intimacy. And that sounded like a fantastic idea to me. We set a date for the last Wednesday in July. The plan was to meet for dinner and then to head back to a hotel room nearby, which I was to book. But something inside me told me to hold off on the booking.

If I were to book the room, which was about $120, and then she canceled on me, I would not be able to get that refund. And knowing my luck and the way things were going with this woman who's been kind of back and forth, couldn't seem to get a true read on her, then I'd be out that money. So I held off. Sure enough, the night before our date, she contacted me to tell me that she thought we needed to cancel because she had a bad case of poison ivy. I thought to myself, now there's an excuse I have never, I would have never expected. She sent me photos of her rash, so I knew it was legit.

She wasn't, she wasn't trying to pull one over on me. But seriously, poison ivy? I'm sure listeners out there have had lifestyle dates canceled on them for all kinds of reasons, but Poison Ivy? That is an excuse I never thought I would hear. Ever. Never even crossed my mind as a possible excuse. Poison Ivyy she said she would see how it felt tomorrow and would and would let me know let me know if we had to cancel the next day she said it was no better and asked you know if we could if we could postpone but she did say something that made me confident that this was all still legit.

She said that if the hotel refused to move my reservation, she would push through it. She would push through the discomfort and still meet me if I was willing. So right there, I thought that was very telling. That, you know, she was not really trying to wiggle out of this. I didn't want to have to explain that I didn't actually reserve the room because I had a hunch this would all fall through.

I felt that that would cast me in a you know not a very trustworthy light so I just told her that I could move the reservation but I said I needed her to check her calendar and give me a new date if she was being wishy-washy. Which again. I was convinced she wasn't. I just wanted some assurance. That this was actually going to happen. Before I went through this again. So. If she was being wishy-washy. I would know right away. If she refused to. Look at a new date. But. She. But she said, let's change it to Sunday. So that's what we did. We set a new date for Sunday.

And this time, after gaining a new sense of trust in her, I booked the room right away. And I eagerly awaited Sunday. Sunday rolled around. We went out to dinner to the same restaurant and then we went back to the hotel. Now, ladies and gentlemen, my dear listeners, I don't think I have ever ended an episode on a cliffhanger, but that's what I'm going to do here. I knew this episode was going to be a bit longer, so I wanted to break it up into two parts.

Because I have a lot to say about the experience at the hotel, and I can't wait to share it with you in my next episode and and here is the kicker here is why this next the next episode is going to be so interesting in my opinion that next episode or my next episode is going to be very fun because my friends not only did i go back to a hotel room with ivy to play but three doors down from us at that very same hotel eva was also meeting a guy for a solo play date yes we fulfilled a fantasy we both had where we would be at a hotel in separate rooms with separate dates then meet back together once our our dates had left for an amazing reclaim sex event at the hotel and i cannot wait to tell you all about it in my next episode so please come back and listen again part two of this adventure will uh many many juicy exciting naughty details it will be coming at you in two weeks i really can't wait to share it with you until then hit me up with questions suggestions comments you can reach out to me via email at evan deanson at gmail.com evan deanson is spelled e-v-a-n-d-e-a-n-s-o-n you can find me on instagram or kick at evan deanson don't check Kik or that Instagram account all that often, so be patient if you do reach out to me there.

Or search for Evan Swings on Blue Sky. I have an account there, and it always just comes right up if you search for it. I love getting questions and comments to discuss, so never hesitate to send them my way. Or if you have something for Eva, she is always willing to answer your questions as well. Plus, that will give me an excuse to bring her back on the show as a guest host. It has been a while. Take care, my friends. I am really looking forward to my next episode, and I hope you are as well. Until next time on Evan Swings, be safe, be naughty, and remember, always live life to the fullest.