Ep. 46: The Quest for a New Symbol

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hi, everyone, and welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. Mine, I'm Evan, and I welcome you to my show. I'm so glad you're here to listen to me rant and rave about all things lifestyle related. Returning listeners, thank you, as always, for coming back. It means a lot to me, and I always like to start off my episodes thanking those who have subscribed to or follow or just routinely tuned into Evan Swings.

So it truly means so much to me, and I want to acknowledge those who routinely put up with my voice and what I have to say. And if you are a returning listener, you know I also always have to welcome any new listeners out there. So if you are tuning in tuning in first time, I welcome you. A quick little bit about myself. I am part of a lifestyle couple, the other half being my wife, Eva, and we have been in the lifestyle now for just over three and a half years.

It has been an amazing journey, full of exciting adventures, fulfilled fantasies, and yeah, even some misadventures and frustration along the way. And that is, of course, the point of this podcast, to tell you all about that stuff, to entertain and inform. You can check out my earliest episodes. I want to say numbers one through seven. If you want to hear about how Eva and I got into the lifestyle and all about our first adventures. Just remember, I'm not an expert. Eva and I haven't even been in the lifestyle all that long.

We're just an average lifestyle couple in the Dayton, Ohio area, and I hope you enjoy today's show. I want to start today's show with a quick story. As I usually say, Eva and I have had a, uh, an overall wonderful experience since joining the lifestyle, but there are always exceptions. You know, not, not every experience is going to be amazingly awesome. And if you've listened before, you'll know that my favorite stories to tell are the ones that went sour. You know, they just, they just honestly seem to be more interesting and more entertaining.

And I'm not sure if this will fit into either of those categories, but I still wanted to share it with you. I'm very curious if you listeners will think it is justified or not for Eva and I to feel annoyed with what happened with this story.

Thankfully, this is not an in-person story we didn't have an uncomfortable situation come about in person you know this is you know not in the presence of other couples this is this is something that happened um online an online interaction all right in person that would have been even way more awkward i was looking through our friends list on sdc and that's just one of the lifestyle sites that we enjoy being on now remember if someone is on your friends list on one of these lifestyle sites just like on pretty much any social media site like Facebook, that means it's mutual.

At some point, one of the two couples sent a friend request to the other and it was accepted by the other couple. Well, in my list of friends, i came across a couple that i did not recognize a very attractive looking couple and it says in their profile that they are from the dayton area i had no no recollection whatsoever of ever talking to this couple and that's Thank you. And I had no, no recollection whatsoever of ever talking to this couple. And that's not a very common thing. All right.

So first of all, as I say all the time, the Dayton, Ohio area is not, not exactly a hotbed of lifestyle activity. Attractive, interesting couples who seem to be good matches for us in this area are hard to find. So I was very confused how I didn't remember this couple in my friends list. Secondly, I don't just put, you know, I don't, I don't just randomly accept friend requests from anyone. Case in point, there was this, uh, uh, this one couple recently from Italy on SDC who sent us a friend request. I looked at their profile. Sorry, my phone went off there.

Their profile said they had 12,842 friends. Yeah, 12,842. Why are you sending me a friend request? You are in Italy. I'm in Ohio. You have 12,842 friends. Why are you sending me a friend request? To me, if you're going to be friends with someone on SDC, you should actually be friends. You should have had some dialogue at some point, some chatting between you. You may have met in person or you may just anticipate at least the possibility of meeting in person.

With that mindset, why on earth would I want to be friends with this couple from Italy who seemed to just send a friend request to everyone else in the world? So that's why it was odd that I found this Dayton couple in our friends list. I don't just add anyone. I decided to send them a message I said something like please forgive me I have a bad memory but have we talked before I said something like I found you I found you in our friends list and my wife and I don't remember chatting with you. If not, we're Evan and Eva, we also live in Dayton, and we'd love to chat, something like that.

They responded very kindly, introducing themselves, and we ended up chatting for a bit. And I honestly, to this day, have no idea how they managed to become friends of ours on that site. And they didn't know either because they didn't remember ever chatting with us either. I showed Eva their photos and her words were, oh, wow, they're both really attractive. That was a good sign. After a bit, I proposed getting together with them for a vanilla meet and greet. I asked them if they would like to get together for dinner and drinks one night. Their response was this.

We aren't really a dinner and drinks type of couple. Do you guys like live music? There is a bar right around the corner from where we live. They serve great pizza too. We can meet you there some night. okay so maybe that doesn't sound bad or annoying or irritating to you. But here's why Eva and I were annoyed. You are not a dinner and drinks type of couple. What does that even mean? You don't ever eat at a restaurant? And if you don't do it very often, you can't make an exception and accept an invitation from a couple who you hope to have sex with?

Now, if we ask them to go, like, cliff diving or spelunking in a cave, I don't know. Now, if we asked them to go like cliff diving or spelunking in a cave, I could understand. But this is just meeting at a restaurant, just about the most tame, average thing you can do. So that was one thing that bothered us. Number two, they suggested going to this bar after we had discussed in our chats that Eva has some bad food allergies and was allergic to dairy. And you suggest a pizza, a place with pizza? All right, I can get that one though. All right.

Just maybe they just simply forgot not a big deal all right i'm admittedly nitpicking on that one but my other two are not really nitpicks number three you suggested a bar with live music most likely a very loud place and you're choosing that as a place to go to get to meet someone for the first time, to talk and get to know them. Not a very conducive atmosphere for having conversations and getting to know a couple. And finally, Dayton, Ohio is not exactly a sprawling metropolis. If you live on opposite ends, it could take you a good 45 minutes or even more to reach each other.

They immediately suggested a place right around the corner from them. A place convenient for them. And they knew we lived 45 minutes away. Would it have been more polite to suggest meeting someplace about halfway? Like, I don't know, maybe at a restaurant? See what I'm getting at? Just, I don't know. When I talk to a couple for the first time and we ended up deciding we want to meet somewhere, I always consider driving distance. I always want to make it fair to both parties. And they were just like immediately, huh, come to us.

So we were just a little annoyed, Eva and I, just a little annoyed. it wasn't a huge deal um we politely declined and said uh we're not really a go to live music at bars type of couple you know kind of used um what they said to us to explain we politely informed them that um you know we felt that we were probably not a match. But, you know, we would still love to meet them sometime if we happened to run into them at a club or event. And if so, we would definitely like to say hello. And they responded kindly as well. And that was the end of it. I didn't think we'd ever hear from them again.

Well, two days later, they sent us a pic of themselves eating pizza at that bar with the message, you guys are missing out. I'm not sure what their intent was, probably just being silly.

So I just sent them a laughing emoji in return and then that was the last we heard from them and they they really were attractive though so who knows you know maybe you know one day we'll run into them someday and we'll end up hitting it off you just never know but Eva and I were we're just baffled that they seemed so against going to a restaurant I mean it doesn't seem like a big ask to us you know not a huge complicated request nothing out of the ordinary and I can't imagine being in the lifestyle they've never been invited to that before so it was just strange to us you know a quiet place where where we can talk and get to know each other unlike a loud bar with live music just just seemed odd so that was my quick little story for today's episode now i want to move on to what i You're welcome.

Just seemed odd. So, that was my quick little story for today's episode. Now I want to move on to what I really wanted to discuss today. Symbols. Lifestyle symbols, to be specific. Now, there are four symbols that I found that seem to represent the lifestyle okay and there could be more but when I did a google search to see if there was any more other than the ones that I already knew of this is what it spit back to me so number one upside down pineapples so that is by far the most famous one and the most quickly associated with swingers. Upside-down pineapples are everywhere in the lifestyle.

Number two, a black ring on your right finger. So apparently that is supposed to signify you are a swinger i'm not sure how prominently this one is used um it's something i never really look for it's something i never really noticed if you have a black ring on you have a black ring on i mean that could easily just be a fashion choice but i guess if you have a black ring on your right finger that could mean you are a swinger two others flamingos from what i read if you put flamingos on your front lawn that is supposed to suggest you are a swinger.

Actually, I read that it's usually used on cruise ships. I don't know how. I'm not professing to know all this lore. I just don't know. maybe maybe pictures of flamingos on your cabin door on the cruise maybe incorporating it into your wardrobe somehow like a shirt with a flamingo on it I'm not sure I'm not sure on that if you know feel free to to message me and inform me. I'd be very, very curious about that one. And then there's this one I have never heard of. Pompous grass. I think I'm saying it right. P-A-M-P-A-S. Pompous grass.

Supposedly, swingers plant this at their home, like in their yard or in their garden i have no idea about that one either that's not something i had ever heard of until i looked it up this morning has anyone else out there heard of this again would love to know if you know would love to know and then then, of course, those are the four, by the way, that I found. Then, of course, there are some communities that actually have their own way of handling this sort of thing.

I read that in the villages in Florida, residents use different color loofahs, you know, those round scrubby things you use in the shower. Apparently, if you are a swinger in the villages, you attach certain color loofahs to your golf carts to let others know your preferences. Like, you know, what you're into. If you're looking for a third, a woman, or if you're looking for a third guy, or you're into full swaps, or whatever. I guess there's certain colors that represent each dynamic. and then at hotel takeovers, I know that sometimes they do certain color bracelets.

You know, if you're part of a couple, you get a certain color. If you're a single male or a single female, you get a different color. And I think sometimes they identify what you're open to. Full swaps, soft swaps, unicorns, singles, etc. So there are different symbols and colors used for different situations in different settings. But back to the pineapple for a second. I did some research on that as well. The pineapple is considered a universal symbol of hospitality. Using a pineapple is supposed to suggest welcoming, you know, welcoming others, for example, to your home.

But over the years, turning it upside down became synonymous with swingers. Specifically, swingers would put a pineapple upside down in their shopping cart when they went grocery shopping as a way to quote unquote advertise. And that's one of the things I wonder about. What is the best way to advertise without shouting to the whole world that you are a swinger? I decided to skim through Reddit to get some insight, to see what other people thought. Most suggested the pineapple thing. You know, going to a store and putting an upside-down pineapple in your shopping cart.

Others suggested using upside-down pineapples in other ways. Like putting stickers on a water bottle or a tumbler that you take with you, or even just wearing pineapple earrings or a pineapple necklace or some kind of clothing with pineapple prints on it. However, one prominent suggestion was that swingers should use a combination of pineapples and a black ring on their right finger. Because the pineapples are not upside down, and because black rings can have multiple meanings or even no meanings. You know, they could just be an accessory fashion choice.

So because of that, the posters suggested this would mean a casual vanilla observer could easily write it off as nothing. you know, seeing this in public, seeing a black ring or seeing a pineapple necklace. But someone in the lifestyle would be able to put two and two together. And I think that is probably the best idea out of all the ones that I've read about all the ones I've heard about wearing a black ring and something pineapple because then it's not a coincidence it's not just a fashion choice you're actually trying to announce that you are in the lifestyle.

And I might actually try that next time Eva and I go out into the vanilla world. But here's the deal. The reason for today's episode. I think a new symbol is needed. I have to admit something to you. When Eva and I first decided to jump into the lifestyle, we had no idea that an upside down pineapple was associated with swinging. None. No idea whatsoever. None. That was something we learned pretty quickly though.

But the point point is we were oblivious to that fact just four years ago we had no clue i think it was a pretty well-guarded secret at that time but then word got around okay word got out it became more prominent now i feel that it's a pretty well-known fact in the vanilla world that that upside down pineapples are symbols of swingers it has made it difficult for swingers to advertise if they wanted to do that of course i mean i see it on tv shows eva and i were watching an episode of a tv show called ghosts and the neighbors were swingers and they had upside pineapple stuff.

They had a lamp with an upside-down pineapple. And I'll be honest, I kind of want to advertise, okay? I mean, that's fun to me. That's exciting to me.

When Eva and I go out to dinner or go shopping, it would be fun for another couple to see a particular symbol on us identifying us as a lifestyle couple and then maybe come up and introduce themselves and similarly it would be fun and exciting for eva and i to you know just be walking around a store or a mall or some other public place and we see a couple that we could tell were swingers and if we were interested maybe we'd say hello not likely with our shyness but but it is a possibility especially if it were a quick comment like hey love the love the earrings, something like that.

So that is why, my fellow lifestyle people, I would like to propose that we need a new symbol, something that the vanilla world doesn't know about yet, something new that we can discuss on our lifestyle sites and at lifestyle clubs and let everyone know about. Now, I'm not saying that we should get rid of the upside down pineapple. No way. That is a tried and true symbol that should always represent the lifestyle, at least in my opinion. I'm just talking about adding something new to the mix that only swingers know about.

Something, you know, not very ostentatious, you know, nothing that will draw a huge amount of attention, like a walrus hat. I don't know why I thought of a walrus hat, but let's go with it. If you have a hat that has a walrus on it, or is in the shape of a walrus, that is going to draw way too much attention. And honestly, it would you ask me but if all of a sudden people started wearing walrus hats then others would know something was up research would be done google would be googled and the the secret would be out in a heartbeat. So nothing like that. It would have to be something discreet.

So that when it is displayed in public, the vanilla world would think nothing of it. But swingers would notice. And here are three ideas I thought of. Idea number one, shoelace trinkets or charms. I don't know exactly what the exact word is. Whatever you want to call them. As a teacher, I see them on kids all the time, especially on Crocs, those shoes, Crocs. But I propose that swingers put a charm or trinket on the lace of their right shoe. Casual vanilla onlookers probably wouldn't think much of it.

And as stated in the classic movie, The Shawshank Redemption, I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a man's shoes? It's so true. I mean, how often do you pay attention to the shoes people are wearing who are out and about but if you're a swinger with this idea you'd be keeping an eye out checking the right shoe of people as they shop or dine or attend events or whatever now you could even expand on this idea if you wanted to. Like, a specific type of charm could be used. Heck, it could even be just a certain color bead that's placed on one of your shoelaces.

You know, maybe a pink bead or a red bead. You know, a hot color like that. But again, I think this would work because it would be very discreet. I never, ever pay attention to the shoes people wear. Like if I'm at the grocery store, that's the last thing on my mind. Now, sure, I'm people watching. I'm always kind of looking around and seeing who's there. But I never think to look at their shoes. However, I certainly would if I knew this was a way to meet other swingers.

And vanilla people, if you see a bead on someone's shoe, you're not going to think anything of it my second idea is a bracelet a certain kind of bracelet my suggestion would be a bracelet made out of a certain crystal called citrine now if you don't know already if you don't know this already citrine is a type of crystal it is brownish in color so it's not very you know showy or gaudy it's very tame looking it can you know pretty much match anything i feel it can be worn by both by both males and females alike and in in the metaphysical world citrine is said to boost confidence and pleasure in sexual activities so that's why i thought citrine would be a good choice but another option would be red garnet and i think that's how say it it.

Maybe it's garnet, but I'm going to call it garnet. It's not a super bright, brilliant red. It's more like a muted red. But garnet is said to enhance libido and boost sexual attraction. Now, I don't buy into all that metaphysical stuff. Okay.

But I, I do know some people who do Eva, but I thought it would, it would serve as a, like a good reason for choosing a certain type of crystal or mineral to be, uh, to be put on a a bracelet to advertise you are a swinger you know I didn't want to just pick some random one I thought there might there should be a reason behind it tiger's eye is another one by the way another crystal that would work good actually that I think that might be more of a rock but but I think that would work as well.

But anyway, a bracelet would be a good discreet way to advertise and if the crystal thing doesn't go over well well then maybe just you know a certain color bead or certain color beads just like my shoelace idea that could be used on the bracelet instead and finally my third idea just hear me out on this it may sound weird but hear me out a safety pin maybe even you know a large safety pin because i know they usually come in like two or three different sizes a large safety pin prominently. You can attach it to your jeans pockets or your hat or even your purse.

I mean, if someone sees a safety pin somewhere on you, they're probably not going to think much of it. But if they are a swinger and know to look for it, well, then there you have it. Successful advertising. An easy way to announce that you are a swinger and recognize them when you see them. Now, I wanted to be all-inclusive here, okay?

So I thought about some ideas that involved makeup or other types of jewelry, but I felt that would be geared too much towards women, and I wanted to think of something that both men and women could do comfortably and easily without drawing too much vanilla attention. And the thing is, eventually, it would go by the way of the upside-down pineapple. Everyone would know what it meant. The secret would get out eventually. But I think it could serve its purpose for a good while. Now you may be asking yourself, why does Evan care? Why does he care about this? Why would anyone care?

I just wear my pineapple shirt and earrings everywhere. And I have an upside-down pineapple sticker on my water bottle that I take everywhere I go. And I have a bumper sticker with an upside down pineapple that I put on my car that says, plays well with others. If you subscribe to those lines of thinking, good for you. Okay, that is awesome. And I truly mean that. I wish I could be more obvious. I wish that Eva and I could be more obvious. But the fact is, I can't. And I know for a fact that most other people in the lifestyle like to keep their involvement discreet.

Discretion is very much valued in the lifestyle. I, for one, do not want my family or vanilla friends discovering I am a swinger. I'm a teacher. I certainly don't want students or parents of students, family members of students. I don't want them to see me in public advertising that I am a swinger. Knowing that I'm part of this lifestyle, that can have some serious ramifications for my career and for the community members who surround me. My wife is a small business owner. Some people look very frowningly. I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for. Frowningly upon swingers.

They frown upon swingers. She could easily, easily lose business. If it was made public, she was a swinger. I'm sure there are plenty of clients of hers that would not want to come back because they disagree with her morally. And this goes back to episode one of this podcast. I believe it was episode one. Maybe it was episode two, but there is still very much a negative stigma surrounding swinging and the lifestyle in general. I wish there wasn't, but there is. I think our world has gotten better in terms of accepting people and things that are different than themselves, than ourselves.

But we're not quite there yet as a society not quite there where eva myself and other uh swingers we can shout from the rooftops that we enjoy fucking other people outside our marriage we can't do that yet we're just not there as a society. So there's this negative stigma that we have to work around. But at the same time, it sure would be nice to be able to go out in public and announce discreetly that we're swingers.

so what do you think what do you think of my ideas for new symbols do you have any do you have any other suggestions for swingers for symbols I'd love to hear them or do you think we in the swinger community should just stick to what we have you know stick to the upside down pineapple and black rings and that's it let me know I don me know. I'm curious. Send your comments and suggestions my way. I'm going to wrap up this episode here, but you can always get in touch with me a number of ways. One, you can visit my Blue Sky page. Just go to Blue Sky and search for Evan Swings.

It should pop right up for you. Or you can find me on Instagram at evandenson. That's E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N. Or you can just shoot me an email, evandenson at gmail.com. I'm always glad to hear from listeners and respond to any questions you may have. Eva is available as well if you prefer her perspective on something that's on your mind. But in any event, I do hope you enjoyed today's episode and hope that you will come back and listen again on another episode of Evan Swings. Until then, till next time, be safe, be naughty, and remember to always live life to the fullest.