Ep. 43: Just the Two of Us

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hello and welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. My perspective, of course, my name is Evan and I welcome you to the show. If you are trying out my show for the first time, well, I greatly appreciate it and I hope that I can win you over as a returning listener. A little background on me, my wife Eva and I have been in the lifestyle for about three and a half years. We consider ourselves to be social swingers and have loved our time in the lifestyle so far.

You can hear more about how and why we joined the lifestyle by listening to some of my very first episodes but one thing to remember i am not an expert i don't pretend to be an expert i just just like sharing our experiences in the lifestyle because i think number one some may find them entertaining to hear about number two, I hope they offer some valuable insight and information to others in the lifestyle. That's why I'm here. That's why I do this. Recording from a simple microphone using free audio software on my home office computer. And oh yes, returning listeners, welcome back.

Always glad, beyond glad, ecstatic to have you aboard. Before we get into the meat and potatoes of today's episode, I wanted to touch on a topic previously discussed. Back in episode 34, I talked about some of the aspects of the lifestyle that I just haven't figured out yet, that both Eva and I haven't figured out yet. And one of those main topics was how to turn down a couple. I guess I should say how to properly turn down a couple. Eva and I are very selective. And while we are always flattered to have other couples express interest in us?

The fact of the matter is, we're simply not a match for everyone. Every single couple out there, I am sure, can say the same thing. Therefore, it is virtually a guarantee that you will be rejected at least once during your lifestyle journey. And I hate using that word rejected. I wish there was a better word I can think of, but I'm just going with it for now. But you will find it at some point, another couple will decide that they're simply not interested in you, that you're simply not a match. And conversely, you will need to turn down a couple who has expressed interest in you.

My question back in episode 34 was, what is the best way to do that? What does etiquette suggest that one do if a if a couple makes contact with you online expresses interest in getting to know you better you know be it a friendship first or even an immediate play date and you and your partner do not wish to engage with them how do you handle that that was my question what was the the best way or what is the best way to turn them down there's the honest approach hello sorry we are not interested There's the dishonest approach, you know, making up an excuse to avoid hurting their feelings.

And then there's the approach where you simply ignore their message. I admit that for a while, I believed a dishonest approach was acceptable if it meant not hurting someone's feelings. I admit I made up excuses and I'm not going to share what those excuses were because if by some strange chance, someone we have turned down hears this and puts two and two together i certainly don't want their feelings hurt i'll never forget there was this one couple that reached out to us on one of the apps i use and their main profile photo was To put it lightly, a horror story.

It was an older couple, heavier build, and their photos seemed to convey the image that they did not take care of themselves. I kind of felt bad for them.

But the thing that stood out to me was the dude's face picture a serial killer in your mind this guy this was the stereotypical serial killer look again he he looked like he didn't take care of himself and i'm not trying to be mean but as his hair and his face was that of a man who um let's just say was rough around the edges okay and his and his facial expression seemed to indicate he was pissed off at the world and was ready to hurt people for it and this was this was a while ago and i admit i i can't remember the excuse i gave them but then they replied i confused them with what i said they were a few cannolis short of an italian bakery as my dad used to say Thank you.

I confused them with what I said. They were a few cannolis short of an Italian bakery, as my dad used to say. They said they wondered if my message meant that they were interested or my message meant they were not interested, that we were not interested. I apologized. I tried to be polite and I clarified my message. They wrote back that they understood and were not surprised because they got rejected so often. I felt really bad when I read that, I really did. And that's one of the reasons why I wondered if responding the way I did with a polite excuse was truly the way to go.

But I wanted to write back and say, you know, look, if you're tired of being rejected, step one would be to get a different profile picture and and tell your husband to smile smile in the picture make it look like he's he's not ready to stab someone i mean you have to make your profile pic look inviting i mean that's that's the first impression people get when they see your profile is that picture but But of course, I did not say that. So that's my story about making up a polite excuse. But for the most part, through our three and a half years in the lifestyle, I've been honest.

I don't go into specifics. I simply state we appreciate them reaching out to us, but we don't feel like we are a match usually we get a polite response that they understand we wish each other well and you know life goes on occasionally however we have had some people not take us turning them down well. And you can hear all about those in some of my previous episodes. I'm not going to go into them now. But that leaves the last approach. Just ignoring them. I've mentioned this before, but Eva and I have been...

been it sounds terrible but we've been turned down by a countless number of couples i have reached out to dozens and done dozens and dozens i don't know i don't know how many i have no gauge of how many couples i've actually reached out to and i can't give you an honest estimate but i will say this out of all those couples we have rarely rarely been turned down with a response in fact in fact besides uh multiple couples turning us down because of my height i can't think of a single instance where I received a message stating they were not interested or giving us an excuse of some kind.

No, no, we, we have been rejected more times than I can count, but it has been done by ignoring our messages or ignoring our likes.

You know, when you, you know, know meaning when you when you click the like button on a profile just about every couple that we have expressed interest in which as you know i hardly ever do nowadays i wait for couples to come to us they have ignored us they have ignored our messages ignored our likes and do you know how that makes me feel do you know how that makes us feel fine not offended in any way shape or form didn't have to read a message that insulted me for my height didn't have to read a message that made us feel bad in any way.

We simply knew that they were not interested because they didn't reply. And we didn't think about it anymore. So that, my friends, is what I think I have decided. I think from now on, I will just be ignoring message from couples in whom we are not interested. Now, granted, this approach can result in some drawbacks as well. Please see my episode about the slapper.

But I think I'm coming to the conclusion that ignoring a message, like not responding, is the best approach to turning someone down i was thinking about even putting in putting something like that in our profile something like um i don't know in in our experience some some couples have taken offense when we do not reciprocate interest. They're... Some couples have taken offense when we do not reciprocate interest. Therefore, we will simply not respond to messages from couples in whom we are not interested. I don't know. It's a work in progress. Something like that.

If I can figure out a way to word it without sounding like a pretentious asshole, then I'll probably go with it. But deep down, it bothers me that I'm just not responding to messages. I just, I've always thought it's polite to do that. All right, moving on. Today's episode is entitled, Just the Two of Us. Okay, well, before I begin, I want to make it clear here that I understand that I'm going to be slightly hypocritical with my dialogue here.

Okay, I'm going to be expressing the notion that in the lifestyle you should just go for it you should take risks risks you know you you only live once go talk to that hot woman at the club who you think is out of your league send that hot interesting couple a message walk up to that couple you've been eyeing and and introduce yourself. Yeah, that's the message I will be conveying. But if you lack a great deal of self-confidence, like myself, then I completely understand your hesitation. So hopefully by the end of this episode, you will feel more compelled to do as I say, not as I do.

I want to share with you two recent stories. Stories where things worked out or didn't because Eva and I stepped out of our comfort zone and took a chance we normally would not have. So, let's get started. because Eva and I stepped out of our comfort zone and took a chance we normally would not have. Let's start with New Year's 2025, about three months ago from the date of this recording. Eva and I decided we wanted to attend the New Year's Eve party at Club Princeton in Columbus, Ohio. The problem was, we didn't know anyone else going.

Neither Eva nor I are the types to walk up to strangers at a club and introduce ourselves and begin a conversation. I can't speak for Eva, but for me, it's totally a lack of self-confidence and a fear of rejection. Totally will admit that. I wish I was more confident, but I'm just not. OK, and if there is a way to learn confidence, like a place where I can be taught, please send me a message and tell me where to find this place or person. I will gladly pay for lessons. Anyway, we really wanted to do something fun for New Year's.

We considered a hotel takeover, which several of our friends in the lifestyle would also be attending. It was in Columbus. And we love hotel takeovers. But we did not have a room at the host hotel. We have never attended a hotel takeover without a room there at the host hotel. And ultimately decided we didn't want to worry about finding transportation to and from another hotel. And there were some other unremarkable reasons. But we decided we wanted to go to the club. That was our decision. We wanted to go to club Princeton.

We bought our tickets and it was on, but there was that slight dilemma. We didn't know anyone. Well, we decided we didn't care. We would just spend the night with each other and enjoy it as a couple, something we'd never tried as a couple so far. So we decided to just go for it. Fate ended up intervening for us. First of all, a couple reached out to us on SDC. they saw we were attending the New Year's Eve party at Princeton, and they would be as well. She was smoking hot, and he seemed handsome too. But he had a bushy beard. And that's an immediate no-go for Eva.

i explained that in our in our chat and he said he knew that might be an issue based on what was written And that's an immediate no-go for Eva. I explained that in our chat, and he said he knew that might be an issue based on what was written in our profile. So that was good, he read our profile. But, you know, he thought he would reach out anyway and just say hello. You know, nothing hurts being friendly. And he was super, super nice. And we had a few things in common. Music, for one. Another, as luck would have it, was that they lived fairly close to us. But that damn beard, right?

Well, we'll get back to this couple. We'll call them couple number one. And we'll get back to them in a few. Another issue was the fact that we bought our tickets late this was going to be a verily a verily i can't talk today a very highly attended event at the club what would what would have been great would have been if we had bought our tickets early and reserved a table. Tables are very limited at the club, so there isn't a whole lot of seating. Again, assuming we weren't going to be talking to a lot of people, it would have been nice to have a place to just sit, relax, and people watch.

But we were going to have to be nomads here. Then, as I mentioned, fate intervened. I noticed on another lifestyle site that a couple, we'll say couple number two, they posted and was asking if anyone else was going to Club Princeton. They said they reserved a large table. Now, they did not have face pics in their profile. But I predicted from their sculpted bodies that were in their photos that they were hot. Like, out of our league. Like, way out of our league, like way out of our league hot. That's what I predicted. But I decided I would just go for it.

I sent them a message introducing ourselves and asked if I could possibly throw some money their way and if Eva and I could use their table as kind of a home base. It's, you you know it's just just a place to set our stuff and allow Eva and I uh somewhere to to take a load off like especially Eva take a load off her feet just once in a while we weren't gonna spend the whole night sitting at their table I explained that we're noty. We would not interfere with them or their friends. We would just say hello. We'd strike up casual conversations when it felt right. And that was it.

We wouldn't bother them at all. And it took them a while to respond to my message over 24 hours, if I remember correctly. And I thought, oh crap, I overstestepped my bounds maybe I shouldn't have said anything or oh crap they saw our profile and wanted nothing to do with us well I'm happy to say I was very wrong they did respond and they said they would be happy to share a table with us they never showed their faces but that was no big deal you know I I don't know.

I don you know casual friendship but um but it was fine you know, there wasn't any interest in anything more than just, you know, casual friendship, but, um, but it was fine. You know, Eva and I had a table with a couple we could at least say hello to and a place where we could set down our stuff and rest every once in a while. So that was good. New Year's Eve rolled around and we headed to the club and we found, we found that table and spent about an hour or so, maybe even two. I don't remember, but, uh, about an hour alone, like no sign of the couple that actually paid for the table.

We felt kind of bad mooching off something we didn't pay for. and I was fully prepared to honor my offer and contribute money, but there was no one there to pay. In the meantime, we found couple number one. Eva and I wanted to go over and say hello. And I don't remember exactly what Eva said, but it was something along the lines of, uh, I'm not interested because of that beard, but yes, we should definitely be polite and say hello. So we did. And first of all, wow, this woman was even more gorgeous in person. And I'm not saying that only because of her physical appearance.

She was also just so personable and funny. I was immediately taken by this woman. And the dude? Also wow. Just so friendly and fun. Just so kind and personable. We really enjoyed talking to them... Also, wow, just so friendly and fun, just so kind and personable. We really enjoyed talking to them. After a bit, we returned to our table, and that's when couple number two arrived. Remember when I said earlier that I predicted this couple was out of our league hot? I was 100% correct. They arrived at the table, and we introduced ourselves, and they introduced themselves.

Honestly, there's not much else to tell. Just that they were both ridiculously attractive, but also unbelievably friendly. We had, we had some real, just great conversations with them.

And what shocked us the most considering how attractive and how outgoing they were, what shocked us the most was that they were not swimming in other couples like we figured they would be the most sought after couple there and i'm not exaggerating at all it was hard not this could sound terrible sound terrible it was hard not to feel like the ugly friend at the table because they were they were so hot but again they were also so nice and we talked and laughed and we got to know each other a bit and um you know i i think they were clearly out of our league so i don't expect anything to ever come of that except uh you know us being casual friendly acquaintances that we may run into in the lifestyle once in a while but but it was nice to meet them and and hang with them all because you know we decided to or i decided to go for it and send that message to them.

As for couple number one, Eva and I talked about them and we were both like, wow, we really liked them. And she liked him a lot, even with the beard. We decided to go back to their table and sit with them if they, if they so allowed us to. And they did. The funniest thing happened. The, the dude regretted, is that, is that the past tense of regret regretted? The dude regretted not shaving his beard off.

You see, my friends, Eva is that beautiful he saw her in person and was like where's my razor and he literally said that he said if he had a razor with him he would go to the bathroom and shave it off immediately if it meant having the opportunity to play with eva eva has that effect on guys she she is that hot photos just and she's very photogenic but photos just don't do her justice okay the the dude met eva and was like holy shit this woman is unbelievably hot and i would do just about anything to play with her tonight but eva stuck to her guns despite the three of us the you know the three me the dude and the other woman being ready to go she kissed him and confirmed that the beard was just too much for her but uh but she was she was in the mood and in, um, you know, that, that doesn't happen all too often.

You know, we, usually we have a strict, we don't play on the first date rule, but she was ready to go. And if, uh, he did not have that beard. Yeah, she would have been ready to go. As for me, I sat with the lady and she put her, her legs on mine and told me she would not be telling, she would not be telling me no tonight, whatever I wanted to do. Whoa. So I, I caressed her legs so smooth and we kissed and she smelled so, so good, but that was the end of it.

you it you know we we ended up staying at the club until 3 a.m just sitting at a table talking yeah we enjoyed our time so much with them that none of us wanted to leave you know we were we were the only ones left in the upstairs part of the club. ones just sitting there just talking laughing having drinks the night was a huge success we met two great couples because we decided to go for it you know we had we had no guarantees of hitting it off with anyone that night. We didn't know anyone going into that event. And it worked out. We had such a great time.

And we've actually hung out with couple number one twice since then. And yes, the dude was sure to trim his beard before seeing Eva. so that my, is an example of how stepping outside your comfort zone can pay off big dividends. Then we pressed our luck. I told Eva that based on our New Year's Eve experience, we shouldn't wait for another couple to be available to go to the club with us. If we want to go, we should just go. And if we go and someone approaches us, great. If we end up making new friends like we did on New Year's Eve, great.

If not, then we'll just have a good time, just the two of us. We'll enjoy each other's company, we'll dance, and we'll people watch. So one week, early in the week, we decided, you know what? We don't have anything to do this upcoming weekend. Let's go to the club. The intent was to go, just the two of us. But if we happened to chat with anyone online who also happened to be going, well, that would be awesome too. Therefore, I hopped on SDC and I posted that Eva and I would be attending Club Princeton's event on Saturday and was seeking to connect with other couples who were going.

Lo and behold, another couple did reach out. They were attending Princeton for the first time and were going by themselves. They had just moved to the area, a little north of where we live, and were looking for something new and exciting to do. So they decided check out club princeton she was really hot just smoking hot from her pictures eva found him attractive too but said that she wasn't quite sure like there was something odd about him but we just left it at that you know no expectations. We'll just say hi at the club. And that's exactly what we did.

We arrived and very soon after we saw the couple standing by the bar. We said hello, introduced ourselves and said we wanted to set our cooler at the bar and get a drink. They said they wanted to do the same. But he wondered what they sold at the bar. Obviously, they were new here. The club is BYOB. You can store your drinks at the bar, and a bartender will serve them to you, but you can't purchase alcohol from them like a regular neighborhood bar. So we explained that, and, you know, they seemed appreciative.

We told them that next we had to go put our stuff in a locker, but we would love to talk to them more later. After that, Eva and I went to that locker, and then we stopped in the social media room, which, if you don't already know, that's a room where you're allowed to take out and use your phone. Elsewhere in the club, phones are strictly prohibited. So we checked our phones, checked our messages, and of course we checked the location of our kids. Got to be good parents, even if we're over an hour away from them at a sex club.

Then we did our usual cruise of the club club we like to walk around uh say hello to anyone we know and there were there there was in fact one other couple that that we had met previously not interested in in being more than casual acquaintances with them but we still you know like to be friendly and just kind of say hello and then take in the sights of the club we ended up seeing uh that first couple um outside the big playroom they have at princeton there's like a big we call it the fishbowl it's a big glass playroom with lots of beds inside um we said hello again and engaged them in a little little conversation and i got a weird vibe they were friendly enough but first of all she kept her coat on excuse me couldn't even tell what she was wearing underneath which was kind of interesting because you know you you have people there who are walking around in lingerie and and less and less than lingerie but second of all i got i just got the vibe that now that they had met us in person, they were not really interested in us.

But it was still a pleasant conversation. We talked and during that conversation, Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi started playing.

And that is one of Eva's favorite favorite songs she immediately looked at me and was like we need to go dance to this so we told the couple that we were heading to the dance floor but we hoped that we could talk to them more later and that was the last we saw them that entire evening It was pretty sparsely attended that night, so there weren't even a lot of options for for Eva and I to to talk to people that you know who we thought might be interesting therefore we we just kept our eyes peeled for that that couple because you know Eva agreed with me that you know they didn't seem interested but we also thought it might just be first time at the club jitters they perhaps just needed to get comfortable before acting like themselves but we never saw them I do have one more interesting thing to say about this, about this evening.

But let me, let me wrap up the story about this couple with what happened the next day. I decided to be polite and reach out to the couple just to say it was nice to meet them. you know, just to touch base with them. And again, um, you know, um, I didn't, I didn't think they were interested. Okay. But we were just being polite. Okay. So I sent them a message and they, meaning he, the dude responded. He said that they enjoyed meeting us too, but their evening at the club ended early. After talking to us, they went to the bar where a younger couple approached them.

And he actually said that, younger couple. And I doubt that was an intentional knock against our age. But I did think, you know, why did he feel the need to include the word younger when describing the couple they met? Anyway, according to him, this younger couple wanted them badly and asked them to leave and go to a motel. And that's what they did. I responded with a, wow, that's awesome. Glad you had fun, but sorry you didn't get to experience the club for very long. I mean, they couldn't have been at the club for more than an hour tops.

But then he proceeded to tell me that he showed the girl that he was her daddy and that they stated stayed the night at the hotel and the woman and the woman wanted to sleep but daddy said no and he woke her up and fucked her three more times during the night he said yeah she knew who her daddy was he kept using that word daddy it was kind of off-putting and i can't remember what i said after that but then he reiterated that they enjoyed meeting us and then he followed that with and i'm just kind of paraphrasing from memory here.

If we had stayed, I would have taken my, the girl, I don't want to say the girl's name. So I'll just say her. I would have taken her and my wife upstairs and had my way with them. Didn't say anything about me being involved. Just stated he was going to take his and eva upstairs and have his way with them and then he added i would have blown her mind i didn't i didn't appreciate the arrogance and the assumption that i would not be involved with his wife. Just the way he worded it. So looking back, we dodged a bullet. They were, or at least he, was not the type of couple we are interested in.

Eva also remarked that she got a bad vibe from her especially. So in a sense, it all worked out. And in another sense, it didn't. We didn't meet anyone that night, but we thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. We enjoyed dancing together. We enjoyed people watching. It was kind of a pivotal step for us.

We love going to to the club but we've never done it very often because we enjoy going with other people and when we didn't have others to go with up until these last two scenarios i just told you about we didn't go but now now we know we can go by ourselves whenever we want and have a good time. And we are very happy that we decided to just go for it, to take that chance and just go for it. Now, I told you I had one little extra side story to go with that evening.

For whatever reason, Eva really really horny that night as you probably know if you have listened to my podcast before as i've said i think i said earlier on this episode we have a no play on the first date rule that's admittedly eva's rule not mine but that night was raring to go. And she even said she would have played with a couple we just met that night had the opportunity presented itself. On the way home, she was in the passenger seat of our car. And she couldn't wait. She could not wait to get home. She needed some relief.

like she could not wait to get home she needed some relief like seriously could not wait she started playing with herself with one hand on the wheel i decided to help with my other hand and eva started squirting buckets and buckets everything was soaked she put a towel down and still wasn't ready to stop she continued and she kept squirting and it went everywhere the dashboard the windshield the driver's side door it made it that it that far over. The console, the instrument panel, my clothes, everywhere. It was insane. And I don't think she had ever squirted that much before.

Maybe that one time with Jack and Kate at the club but that's it I mean this was insane luckily I got a recording of it and I will play it for you or I'll try to play it for you over the mic I've never tried this before so I don't know how well this will come through but here we go. This is the audio.

Ah, oh, oh, God, ah, there you have it how hot was that it was um obviously with my phone so there's actually some video to go with it but it is very dark and the only time you can see anything is when we happen to pass under a street light a crazy but memorable experience and I think that that's a good place to wrap up today's episode I hope you uh you've stuck around and found that audio clip of Eva squirting to be a nice reward for doing so. Good things come to those who wait, I guess. Okay, please feel free. Hit me up with any questions, comments, suggestions.

I would be happy to hear them and happy to address them. Eva is also open to answering any questions you have if you'd like to ask any of her. She's more than happy to, you know, come back on the show and answer them. You can find me on Blue Sky, just search for Evan Swings, or you can reach me directly via Instagram. My username is Evan Deanson, E-V-A-N-D-E-A-a-n-s-o-n that's on instagram or you can email me at evan deanson at gmail.com i hope to have you back next time on evan swings i have a new closing statement that i am going to try out here one that i think is kind more fitting.

So I'm going to sign off here. Here it goes. Until then, be safe, be naughty, and remember to live life to the fullest.