Ep. 37: The Slapper

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. I'm your host, Evan. My wife is Eva. And we have been in the lifestyle for three and a half years now. I would like to thank my returning listeners for doing just that, for returning. I really appreciate you coming back for more, Evan. And new listeners, I welcome. I welcome you to the show, and I hope you will enjoy it and stick around for a while. As I just said, we've been in the lifestyle for three years, three and a half years.

it dawned on me today as i prepared to record this episode that we, or should I say I, since I handle most of the messaging on lifestyle sites and apps, I have chat with a lot of people in those three and a half years a lot the number of couples we have actually met as a result of those conversations is pretty low I was I was trying to put a number to it and I want to say like 80 or 85 percent 80% of the people I have chat with in the lifestyle, we have never met in person or we have met in person and it, it didn't end up working out.

Meaning we never made it to the spicy stage of the quote-unquote relationship but mostly it's because Eva and I are very very selective we usually do not ignore people who reach out to us and that will come into play here shortly with this episode, we will normally respond with a message back, you know, a polite message back indicating we're just not interested. I actually devoted an episode to that, episode 34, I believe, where I discuss things I haven't figured out yet in the lifestyle, and that was one of them.

One of those things is the proper way to politely but effectively turn down couples. Some people just ignore the messages and never respond. We have run into that plenty of times. Plenty. I have reached out to a new couple and, you know, they don't respond. But for me, until I figure out that it's not the proper or correct thing to do, I always respond as politely as possible. And because of this, 80%, I have stories. Lots of stories. I call them interesting and infuriating interactions. Because I've had a lot you know, a lot of them end up being interesting and or infuriating.

And that is why I had two episodes where I discussed these interactions. Looking back, most of them, I just, I just have to smile and shake my head because of how absurd they were and about the absurd amount of time that I have lost chatting with these people. It's a little bit crazy, a little crazy. This episode was originally going to be called Interesting and Infuriating Interactions Part 3, but it evolved while I was planning it. It turns out it's going to instead be about one particular interaction I had recently, and I'll save the other stories for another time.

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of today's episode, I wanted to give you an update on two stories from my last interesting and infuriating interactions episode.

One story about nina supposedly a single woman we were chatting with her and things seemed to be going swimmingly we established a an actual date to to meet at a restaurant and all we were waiting for was confirmation from her and she never responded never got on kick after making plans with us then after the the date had passed she got on kick and messaged us messaged us saying she didn't have her notifications turned on and didn't think to check kick, which was probably a big load of crap. Nevertheless, Eva and I carefully composed a polite response together.

We explained that our hypothesis or theory was that she either was not who she said she was, meaning like not a single woman, maybe even a dude, or that she simply was not ready to meet us.

She had explained that she had been divorced many months before, and this was going to be her first foray out into the lifestyle world we said that we would still love to keep chatting and when she felt ready and comfortable and like actually excited to meet us we would still love to get together that's where I left off in that episode so I wanted to give you loyal listeners an update about what happened after that. Nothing. Never heard from her again. She read our message, but did not respond. So Eva and I now think we were chatting with a fake profile.

Probably some dude dude the other couple I talked about in that episode was a couple that I chat with for for a bit said they were really interested in meeting us told us to give them some dates we did and told them to choose whatever worked best for them and we would make it happen we had a lot more schedule flexibility than they did Let's do it. and told them to choose whatever worked best for them, and we would make it happen. We had a lot more schedule flexibility than they did. They never responded to that message.

I decided to call them out on it after our tentatively planned weekend meetup that date passed. So I made a joke comment about it, about, you know, how they never responded, but then also added that I hoped everything was okay. Because, you know, emergencies can happen. And when they do, lifestyle messages are certainly not a priority. But it wasn't an emergency. they wrote back and claimed they just got too busy to respond due to their kids' sports. What a bullshit excuse. They could have taken 30 seconds to message us and say, Hey, this weekend is not going to work for us. Can we reschedule?

But they didn't. And I call them out on it. Politely. I mean, I was polite about it. And they even apologized and said they were still looking forward to meeting us. And we kept chatting. And that's where I left off in my episode about them. So I wanted to give you an update as to what came from that. Well, we kept chatting, and they said they were still very interested in meeting us. My response was, the ball is in your court. Shoot us some possible dates whenever you're ready.

Not only did a response never come, shortly after that they disappeared our message uh our thread our message thread vanished that means they either blocked me i think or disabled or deleted their account their account entirely. Not sure what happened except that it was a big fat waste of my time. And that drives me bonkers. I consider my time very valuable and do not appreciate when it is wasted. If you're interested in us, awesome. If you're not interested in us, that's fine too. That's fine. Just don't waste our time about it. And that's it. Those are your updates as I promised.

I said I would keep you updated with anything that happened following that episode. That's me fulfilling my promise right there. I wish it was more exciting, but that's unfortunately not how it played out. Now let's get on to the main event. Actually, before I do, I need to give you a really brief side story that ties into what I'm about to tell you about. We were planning to attend the New Year's Eve party at Club Princeton, Columbus, Ohio. We did attend. But leading up to it, a couple posted on a different site, so not the Princeton site, a different site.

Hey, is anyone going to the New Year's Eve party at Princeton? I responded to that post. I commented on it saying, yes, we will be there. They responded back, say hello if you see us. So I wrote back, same for us. Please say hi, especially since you know our faces. This was a reference to the fact that their profile did not have any face pics. So, you know, they wanted us to say hi if we saw them, but we didn't know what they looked like. But let me tell you, their body pics were awesome. Smoking hot. I assumed they were very attractive, and assumed, quite frankly, they were out of our league.

Next thing I know, I get a message from them saying they opened up their private folder so we can see their faces. I was like, oh my goodness. They would only do that if they had at least some interest, right? I mean, why bother if they had no interest in us whatsoever i suppose they could just be being nice but they could have just you know accepted my idea for them to say hi if they saw us and let it go my hopes were high and then i saw their pics, and wow, just wow. Smoking hot, as I predicted. I opened our private pics as well, and they responded with some kiss emojis. Yeah, really nice.

Anyway, that will come into play towards the end of my story. The story. Well, in my previous two episodes about interesting and infuriating interactions, I included multiple stories. Remember, this is going to be just one story, because it's a doozy. Let me begin by going back to August of 2024. I had knee surgery. The morning of my knee surgery, I read a message from this particular couple on SDC introducing themselves. They were expressing interest in us. I knew right away we were not interested in this couple. But I am literally sitting in a hospital room waiting to have surgery.

Composing a polite, thoughtful response was not a high priority at the moment. So I told myself I would do it later in the evening. I'm going to show you couch with nothing else to do. Well, that evening, I opened my app to see they had actually sent us another message. All it was one sentence rude of you to read the message and not respond that's all it said i'll say i'll read that again to you rude of you to read the message and not respond and i couldn't even reply because they blocked me. I was like, what the hell just happened?

They called me rude for not responding within like 12 hours because I just saw the message in the morning and then blocked me? I have to confess something here, and that's my dog. i have to confess something here and that's my dog i have to confess we all have our character flaws every one of us things that we want to be better at well mine is that i hold grudges if you piss piss me off, I'm going to remember it. I took a screenshot of their profile, and I tried to find them on other sites. I wanted to explain why I didn't respond to their message. You know, I had a good excuse.

But I also wanted to politely tell them to fuck right off because how dare they call me rude for not responding after not even a day and then blocking me. Again, I hold grudges. Remember that. End of December rolls around. So it's been, what, four months since that day since my surgery and their profile pops up on another site i recognize them right away ladies and gentlemen the right thing to do in this situation would probably be to let bygones be bygones, forget it happened, and move on. They are not people who we wish to associate with, so just move on, right?

That's what I should have done. But I didn't do that. I hold grudges. I wanted to call them out on their bullshit. I wanted to give them a piece of my mind and a taste of their own medicine. I wanted to call them rude and block them. I know that sounds petty, guys. I know it does. It was an immature response, and I should not have done it i learn from this and will be better next time but the fact is this time i did respond i would like to read to you what i wrote to them so this is word for for word. Hi there. If I'm not mistaken, you are so-and-so on SDC. We were hoping we would find you.

We would hope. Let me restart there. We were hoping we would find your profile on another site so we could tell you this. In August, you reached out to say hello. I read your message in the morning. That evening, I got back on SDC with the intention of replying. Instead, I found a message from you accusing us of being rude for not replying and discovering that you blocked us. For the record, when I read your message, I was literally sitting in a hospital preparing to have knee surgery. Replying to a lifestyle message from the new couple was not a priority to me.

I was about to be put to sleep so I could have an operation. That is why I did not respond. I was fully prepared to write you a polite, thoughtful response when I was back home recovering. We did not appreciate being called rude when there was a perfectly logical and reasonable explanation for not immediately responding. It was rude of you to not allow someone at least 24 hours to gather their thoughts and respond, Call them out for it and block them. It goes without saying, but we have no interest in rude people with no patience. We have a phrase we like to use, life before lifestyle.

I'm so sorry that I put my surgery as a higher priority than responding to your message. I hope you can read the sarcasm there. I also hope you learn about being a little more patient and understanding in the lifestyle. I hit send, and then I block them. Taste of their own medicine, right? Now what I assumed would happen? They would read this and think to themselves, Wow, I feel kind of bad now. I called him rude, and he was in the hospital about to have... would happen. They would read this and think to themselves, wow, I feel kind of bad now.

I called them rude and he was in the hospital about to have surgery. I guess I was a little bit of an asshole there. Well, that is not even close to how this played out. A few days later, I found some comments from them on that particular site calling me out. They found a way around my block. They were communicating with me by seeing my comments on someone else's post and then commenting themselves with a message on that post, directed at me. Let me read the first one to you. Evan, let me be very clear here. Please, capital letters, please do not attend an event that I am at.

I'm trying to be the bigger man, but what you said was not kind. Second, I do hope you recover from hospital quickly. Regardless of what it is, I'm trying to be the bigger man, but what you said was not kind. Second, I do hope you're a recoverer from hospital quickly. Regardless, I want to slap you for disrespecting my wife. But I am trying to be peaceful about this. I would appreciate that consideration. He wrote that on one post. Then, on another post, he wrote this. If he comes, he gets slapped.

Evan was very disrespectful to my wife and I am having a very hard time just being the bigger man. The major problem is, besides the physical assault threat, he wrote this comment where i was responding to the hot couple who we were going to see at the new year's eve party so now the hot couple received a notification indicating there was a new comment on their post and then when they go and look at that comment guess what what they see? They see that threat, that comment about me being disrespectful to someone's wife. How does that make me look?

Regardless of how incorrect and outrageous his comment was, the other couple didn't know that. They don't know me or this other couple. All they know is that there's a couple out there who they plan to meet at New Year's Eve where the dude, me, was just accused publicly of being disrespectful to a woman. That is not a good look. Regardless of what actually happened, it is not a good look. Before I continue with the story, let me jump ahead to that New Year's Eve party. That couple did not say hello to us.

We had told them the exact table we'd be sitting at they did not seek us out i'm not hurt by it but it it does make me wonder if they thought oh that this couple is trouble you know based on the comments written by the guy who wanted to slap me we'll probably never know for sure. His comments could have very well cost us a lifestyle friendship. But back to the story. Let's not look past the fact that this guy threatened to assault me. He threatened to come up to me at a club and slap me in the face. I could have very easily reported him.

I don't think the club would have taken kindly to physical threats posted publicly by one of its members. But I'm a lover, not a fighter. I did not want to risk running You're welcome. members. But I'm a lover, not a fighter. I did not want to risk running into this dude and getting slapped. I mean, who would want to be slapped? You know, I wasn't necessarily worried about this guy physically harming me, but I was worried about my reputation, our reputation, mine and Eva's. I didn't want him to keep posting crap about me on any of these sites.

I mean, based on what transpired, I didn't think it was out of the realm of possibility that any time I commented on someone else's post, he would also add a comment attacking me. I decided, as much as I didn't want to, that I would kill him with kindness. I unblocked him and decided to open a dialogue with him. Surely, this could be reasoned out like adults i will give him credit he was actually very good about having a polite conversation with me i'll give him that i honestly looking back i don't think he actually ever read my original message i sent before I blocked them.

I think his wife read it and told him, this guy sent me this nasty message and I am so offended. And he decided to stick up for his wife without knowing the facts. I wanted to argue with him. I really did. I wanted to defend myself and be like, you're being an asshole. But I didn't. I took the high road. I told him that I would not report his comments to the site administrators if we could work this out. He responded that he didn't care about the site administrators and that he could have them shut down in a matter of hours. I asked what he meant by that.

I thought maybe he worked in law enforcement or, you know, for the county or something. I was, I was honestly interested. He responded with something like, let's just say their money and their lawyers wouldn't have a chance against me. Okay. I did say I didn't know what I wrote that could have possibly offended or disrespected his wife. He said he didn't want to go there because I wouldn't be happy with what he had to say or something like that. He did reiterate that it was rude I'll see you next time.

He said he didn't want to go there because I wouldn't be happy with what he had to say or something like that. He did reiterate that it was rude that I never responded, even from the hospital. So I really think the disrespect for his wife he was rambling about stemmed from that original message I didn't respond to the day of my surgery. That's the disrespect he wanted to slap me for? I have had probably a hundred people ignore messages of mine in the lifestyle. I have had many people completely ghost us.

And I never once considered it disrespectful enough to slap someone, to physically assault someone, to physically hurt someone. He went on to say how he hates when people make up excuses about being busy with their kids or other excuses instead of replying to a a message he didn't seem like he wanted to be understanding about that but i admitted my message was unkind it was it was an unkind message i was you know going for you sent me an unkind message i'm going to send you one right back. So I apologized for that.

I told him that the lifestyle community, especially in this area, is a small one, and I didn't want any enemies. He agreed and said we were cool now. But you know what? You know what he never did? Apologize. I decided to apologize, even though I didn't think I was in the wrong. Well, I was wrong for even contacting him in the first place. I should have just let it be. So I was truly sorry for that. But I took the high road and apologized. He never once showed any remorse at all. He made some other comments too, that to me show he shows he has some narcissistic tendencies.

He told me he was currently buying a brand new TV. He told me he was hooking up his brand new sauna. He told me how much money he was making off of Bitcoin. I just kind of played along. Wow, you're really busy. Wow, that's cool. Wow, have fun. You know, that sort of thing. Stuff I didn't need to know he was telling me. But he never did apologize for threatening to hurt me. He was right. I was completely wrong. They are awesome. I suck. And that's what's up. In his eyes. For someone to go off about me disrespecting their wife and post on other people's comments about it, So, here we go.

For someone to go off about me disrespecting their wife and post on other people's comments about it? I would think I would have to do something pretty egregious. You know, called her a bitch, called her a whore, insulted her intelligence, insulted her occupation, or insulted her family. Those things are very disrespectful. I would have deserved to have been called out and threatened for that. But to get your panties all in a knot over what I wrote? To publicly threaten someone with physical assault over what I wrote?

That I just read to you guys that's insane I checked out some of his other posts in one he posted several pics of his wife and one of himself when everyone was liking the pics of his wife and not his, he posted something like, Why is nobody liking my photo? I'm a gym rat who can fuck a 20-year-old into a coma. Boo! Yeah, that's what he wrote.

To this date, that is the only time I have ever seen a dude whine about people only liking his wife's photos and not his i'm scared of this dude for real i'm just gonna mind my own business and stay on his good side i guess after all that things continued to stay weird after i thought the situation was settled i thought i would never hear from him again he went back and and commented on a photo of eva i posted um right around christmas he really strange comment involving the song uh sexy and i know it not the usual comments we get like so hot or what a smoke show or you look great or you know just some fire emojis whatever then i got another message from him a few days later after new year's he was wondering why we still still had he and his wife blocked on the SDC site, you know, where they originally called us rude and blocked us.

He was wondering why I still had them blocked on that. Because a block goes both ways on that site. If I block you, you automatically block me. I wanted to tell him, because you blocked me, and so the site automatically blocked you. But, I was still trying to keep the peace, and avoid being slapped by this unhinged person. I told him I would try to unblock him, but didn't know how. And I, that was the truth. I didn't know how he told me how to do it. I did it. And then I let him know that I did it.

He thanked me and, uh, proceeded to tell me how glad he was that I handled this like a man how appreciative they were of us and i i don't understand what that meant and uh how we were such a gorgeous classy couple i i just don't get it what is the end game here does he expect us to become lifestyle playmates? Or even friends? No, dude. We are well past that. I want to keep things civil. I still do. If we see each other at a club or event, I would like to be able to walk by them without getting slapped. Say a friendly hello or give a wave and move on. Thank you.

each other at a club or event, I would like to be able to walk by them without getting slapped, say a friendly hello or give a wave and move on. I have no intentions of staying in touch with them or getting together with them. But this all goes back to me now, how I had to open my big mouth. I had to hold a grudge and speak my mind. I really want to continue calling people out on their bullshit in the lifestyle because there is a lot of bullshit. But man, this sure did bite me in the ass. Who knows when this will ever be over? You know, I'm just going to keep responding to his messages.

You know, I don't want to be rude. But I'll keep responding with short, quick, but friendly responses. And hopefully, they'll get the hint. We just have no interest in people who have publicly threatened to assault me. I don't care if you've apologized. You know, I forgive you, but we're not hanging out. We're not going to be good friends. You know, I, we desire no further interactions with you.

We have found that in the lifestyle, there's mostly kind cool people but there's always a few bad apples and this certainly seemed like one of those bad apples at the time of this recording he has not contacted me since that last uh interaction i just told you about and i truly hope it stays that. I hope he gets the hint that we are not interested in any further communication. But if he reaches out again, I'm going to be polite. Kill him with kindness. If he eventually asks us to get together, well, then I'm going to have to be honest and say, you know, look, we have no interest.

Can't imagine how he'll react to that. Before I end this episode, I will say one last thing. I realize that this has all been my side of the story. And there are always two sides to every story. I'm sure some of you who are listening right now think I'm exaggerating or possibly even, you know, withholding information to make me seem more innocent. I assure you I am not, and I have the screenshots to prove it. I will give the dude credit. He did go back and remove the threatening comments from the site. But before he did, I saved them. I screenshot them. I have the evidence.

And anyone wants to call bullshit on me, let me know.

I'll be happy to send you the screenshots of his comments and our conversation everything i've told you today is 100 truthful and accurate i didn't exaggerate i didn't change any wording i didn't withhold uh any info with uh the intention of the intent to uh paint myself in a better light or him in a worse light it's all been accurate and that's all for today hit me up with any comments questions suggestions you may have for me regarding this situation or any other topic ideas for future episodes things you want to hear me ramble about, send it all my way.

You can find me on Kik or Instagram at Evan Deenson, that's E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N. Or you can reach me at evandeenson at gmail.com. You can also find the Evan Swings page on Blue Sky. Search for Evan Swings and it should pop right up for you. Thank you. I implore any listeners out there who haven't given Blue Sky a shot, give it a shot. It's an alternative to Twitter. Works pretty much the same way, slowly growing and getting more popular.

And I hope it continues to do so it's a lot of fun that's all for now hope you decide to join me again in about two weeks until then as i always say stay safe stay naughty take care everyone