Show notes
Eva and I have a rule: we don't play with a couple the first night we meet them. But it HAS happened (earlier) in our lifestyle journey. This is the story about one of those rare occasions.
Transcript
the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.
Hi, everyone, and welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. That's me. I'm your host, Evan Deenson. Not my real name. And I'm half of a lifestyle couple with the other half being my sexy wife, Eva. If you're a returning listener, thanks for joining me, as always. If you're a new listener, well then get ready to hear the greatest lifestyle podcast to ever be recorded in my home. Seriously, thank you. Thank you for giving my podcast a shot. And just remember, I am not an expert.
I don't pretend to be i don't claim to be i'm i'm just an average guy we're just an average lifestyle couple in the lifestyle for three and a half years not exactly seasoned veterans but not exactly rookies fresh up from the minor leagues either. I just like to share our adventures and experiences for the purpose of entertainment and hopefully as a source of information for others in the lifestyle. Before I go any further, two quick little things. Number one, you know how we're supposed to learn from our mistakes in life?
Well, I guess I didn't learn from a previous mistake that I made because this is the, I already recorded this episode and I was all done and I realized my mic was off the whole time I had to restart this is actually take number two and the other thing I wanted to mention really quick I am I don't know if this is BS or not But I got an email from some podcast statistics company, and they informed me that this podcast was rising up the ranks quickly in the UK. Over in the UK, this podcast is apparently ranked number 57 in the sexuality or self-help category or something like that over in the UK.
I didn't know, uh, I had fans over in the UK. So if I do, thank you for listening. It's really cool to, uh, to know that there's people across the pond listening to this. Thank you very much. If that is the case, listening to this thank you very much if that is the case but again i don't know if that email i got was complete bs or not it may just be a company trying to get my money uh for you know to have them promote this podcast i'm not sure now i listen to a lot of podcasts myself. I have about a 30-minute commute to and from work every day.
And podcasts have become my listening preference for those commutes. Occasionally, I'll listen to a Spotify music playlist. But I usually listen to podcasts. Mostly hockey podcasts, but there are some others I like to, to sprinkle in. And when I don't really have any of my usual podcasts to listen to, what I do is I go back and listen to my own. I like going back and listening to my previous episodes. It helps to remind me of what I've talked about already. It helps to spawn new topics in my mind that I think might be interesting for discussion on future episodes.
And it reminds me of things I said that I would talk about in the future, but haven't yet. And that's how today's episode came about. I was listening to an earlier episode where I talked about how Eva and I don't play on first dates. There has only been one instance of that in our time in the lifestyle, and I thought I would share that experience today. And actually, now that I think about it, there have been a few other exceptions to our no playing on the first date rule. Like when we went to Desire Pearl, we certainly did not have a date with the couple we played with.
We met them in the afternoon and fucked them in the evening on the beach. That was quite amazing. that that was an exception to our rule but i think the circumstances behind it made sense on vacation lifestyle resort sex charged environment it just made sense but i have to be clear when i say it just made sense. But I have to be clear. When I say it just made sense, I'm really referring to Eva. She is the one who established the rule that we do not play on the first date. To me, it's not a big deal.
If we met a couple for a first date and we were having a great time and everyone was attracted to each other, I personally don't see the big deal in moving the fun to the bedroom right away. It doesn't bother me one bit. It does bother Eva. Therefore, we follow that rule. Before that rule existed, however, I'll see you next time. It does bother Eva. Therefore, we follow that rule. Before that rule existed, however, is when this story takes place. As you probably know already, if you have listened to this podcast at some point before, we use several lifestyle apps or sites to meet people.
One of those is called SLS. Swing lifestyle is what I think it stands for. Well, about two years ago, a couple contacted us. We'll call them Terry and Sheila. This is what we very similar to ours. It didn't seem, I mean, it seemed like we had, it seemed like we had similar interests and they had lots of photos, mostly of Sheila, only a couple of Terry. And that's kind of what our profile is like, Eva and myself, mostly photos of Eva with a few of myself sprinkled in, too. Remember, I joke. Well, it's a joke with some serious undertones. I joke that Eva is the bait.
She's the one that attracts other couples. I would say, in our experience, and if I had to put a number to it, 75% of all the accounts on SLS and SDC and all these other sites, they're managed mostly by the male in the relationship. And for most males, like myself, when I'm perusing profiles, the female is what stands out to me in the photos. I assume that's how it is for most guys out there. That is why I say that Eva is the bait. She reels in the guys. then if the guy wants to get with ev well, the female half of the couple has got to be on board with me.
I usually say that Eva is the bait, and then once we have the couple hooked, please forgive the fishing analogies here. I try to seal the deal with my charming personality and sense of humor I'm not saying that this is a perfect plan or even the correct way to think about it but it is the way that I see things back to what I was saying though their profile was similar and it looked like we had a bunch of things in common Here we go.
back to what i was saying though their profile was similar and it looked like we had a bunch of things in common and she was smoking hot they were a little bit older than us at the time eva and i were 46 while sheila i believe was 52 and terry was in late 50s. They certainly did not look their age, though. They were in such good shape that Eva and I both felt, had we not known, we would have pegged them as in their mid-40s like us. But what really established a connection was hockey. Many of you are aware that I am a hockey fanatic, absolute fanatic.
I've played hockey since I was a young kid and still play today in an adult league. I've coached youth hockey and I watch hockey games whenever I can. well terry was also a huge hockey fan. He also played the sport at a fairly high level. Our initial get-to-know-you type conversations had a lot of hockey talk involved. They seemed like a very nice couple and, again, very sexy. After a while, it was decided that we should definitely get together.
They were empty nesters and, therefore, not only had a lot of flexibility with their calendar, but they also had a VFF, and that's the acronym that I invented that means a place to play. A VFF, Venue for Fucking. They had a house and invited us back to their place after dinner. they were obviously way more experienced than us and it it seemed like a common occurrence for them to meet a couple for the first time and immediately bring them back to their place for additional spicy fun that assumption was confirmed later in the evening in the evening we spent with them.
As I said, it started off with dinner, as most of our experiences usually do. We decided to make the drive to Columbus to meet them, just at a sports bar and grill that they recommended and if i may i just have to mention mention once again here do you notice how many of my stories take place in columbus or cincinnati or if you go back to the first episodes of this podcast it was a lot of indianapolis eva and i live in the dayton area where there just doesn't seem to be a very large We'll be right back. was a lot of Indianapolis.
Eva and I live in the Dayton area where there just doesn't seem to be a very large swinger community in relation to or in comparison to the larger cities like Columbus, Cincy, and Indy. With that in mind, the decision to travel the 90 minutes to Columbusumbus was not out of the ordinary at the time it almost felt like a necessity to meet anyone new especially because at this point in our lifestyle journey you know like a year or year and a half in whatever it was we still felt we had a lot to learn. Nowadays, even I...
a year or a year and a half in whatever it was we still felt we had a lot to learn nowadays Eva and I usually don't pursue couples as oh what's the word I'm looking for we don't pursue them as hard if they live far away from us. It'll still happen. We have still had profiles that we've had interest in. We've talked to people, but we don't pursue them as hard as we did in the earlier stages. On this night, though, travel was definitely on the table. We arrived at the sports bar where Terry and Sheila were waiting for us. I was immediately taken by Sheila's sexy looks.
And my usual anxiety immediately kicked in. There was no way someone who looked as hot as Sheila would want to play with someone who looked like me. And you know what made her even sexier? Her accent.
She had a southern accent, and I don't really know specifically what type of accent it was, so I'm just calling it a southern accent that was just incredibly sexy oh I just loved hearing every word that came out of her mouth the conversation however was dominated mostly by Terry he was quite a talker but he knew his hockey it turns out he played with some current and former NHL players and I was quite interested to hear all about that both Eva and I had a great time we had told them beforehand that we don't play on the first date, even though it really wasn't a concrete established rule for us yet.
And they were very cool with it. They said that they were very flexible, hadn't met just about every type of couple in the lifestyle with with just about every type of rule, and they respected that. But they did mention that their offer still stood for us to go back to their place after dinner, if the mood struck us, I guess. I reiterated that we just, that wasn't really in the cards.
And as words left my mouth my brain was thinking damn it Eva, damn it Eva because I really wanted to go back to their place and play we went back to our normal conversation we talked about hockey stuff we talked about lifestyle stuff we talked about other stuff and just continued continued our conversation when suddenly i realized that eva was trying to slip a napkin into my lap it took me a moment to figure out what was going on. When I realized it, I carefully looked at what she gave me. It was a note, and it said, I'm good with playing tonight. I was very excited to read this.
Shocked, but also very excited eva was good to go now i had to suddenly tell this couple you know you know how we said we didn't want to play tonight well never mind that and that's literally what i did i can't remember if they asked us what changed our mind but i do remember us coming clean and even showing them the note that eva had slipped to me they find it they found it humorous and once once it became clear that our evening was not ending right then and there we all seemed eager to get our checks and head out of the bar when we were in our car i asked eva what changed her mind and i remember her saying emphatically as part of her explanation he is hot it was nice that both of us found our dates to be exceptionally attractive that doesn't always happen we followed them back to their home and headed inside it was a large very clean very well kept house they seemed to not only be empty nesters but it seemed that they're they managed their money well everything was just immaculate we talked for a little bit and had some drinks and then terry suddenly said something like well can we show you the bedroom?
Ready to go. Now, I always find it awkward. It has happened a few times before in other experiences and in this situation as well. Where there isn't a lot of physical lead up to the sex. what I mean by that is to that point, I hadn't touched Sheila besides a hug. Hello, no flirtatious touching, you know, hands on arms, hands on thighs, a touch on the back nothing like that not saying that's a bad thing just different just unusual not the typical way that this happens not what i'm used to but terry took eva by the hand and gently guided her away from the kitchen area where we were sitting.
And so I followed suit and took Sheila's, and we headed to the bedroom. When we got to the bedroom, they asked us about condoms, whether or not we wanted to use them. It seemed like they were leaving it up to us. And at this stage of our lifestyle journey, I admit we were a bit more cavalier about this sort of thing. We took a few couples at their word, asked about their history and testing, and if we were comfortable, we went condom free. Something Terry said, though, made us insist on using condoms. They mentioned that they don't get tested regularly.
They got tested, but it wasn't like a routine thing. At dinner, they mentioned going on lifestyle trips with large groups of people and basically fucking their brains out for weeks at a time on tropical islands. Again, we learned pretty quickly that they had a lot more experience than us. We also learned that condom use wasn't something they insisted on very often. It made us nervous, combined with the fact that Terry said they don't get tested regularly.
When I asked how they managed to be so active in the lifestyle and not be concerned about STIs, he responded with, we just don't worry about it. And that's exactly how he said it too. It was just very nonchalant. We just don't worry about it. Nowadays, three and a half years since joining the lifestyle that would be a big red flag to us at this point it was only a small red flag we were still going to have sex with them but we were definitely going to use condoms. And they were totally fine with that. I don't want to paint the wrong picture of them. They were very kind and very respectful.
They were going to go along with whatever we decided. And we greatly appreciated that. I always say different people have different rules. and not wearing condoms was not important to them. And that's something that I don't feel Eva and I were in a position to judge them on. You know, that's, that's just their rule. And, and that's their thing we have our things other couples have their things again i will say we were very appreciative of them that they were so respectful of our rules and our wishes they were fantastic there were two things that stood out to me on this playdate.
Number one, this woman loved to give oral sex. Looking back, I would, I think I would have to say that out of all our playdates since joining the lifestyle, this woman seemed to enjoy giving oral sex more than any other woman I've met. She sucked on my dick for what seemed like forever. Even after we had finished having actual sex, she wanted to suck my dick more.
she was very enthusiastic about it and seemed to enjoy it enjoy giving it as much as i enjoyed receiving it i honestly can't believe how long she went without her mouth getting tired i just don't know how she did it number two the other thing that was this, and I, I don't know how to put this delicately. So I'm just going to say this the only way I know how to, there's a term for it. And I apologize if this is a vulgar term. She had meaty flaps.
A portion of her vaginal lips were large and hung down significantly please do not get me wrong i am not complaining this was my first experience with this type of of. Vaginal structure And I loved it. I will admit to all you listeners out there. I enjoy giving oral sex, but it is not my most favorite thing in the world. I don't consider it to be a necessity for foreplay. I, I enjoy doing it.
I i'll do it especially if a woman wants me to do it but i could take it or leave it when it comes to foreplay but with this type of quote-unquote setup that sheila had i found myself loving giving her oral sex it was a lot of fun especially to suck on those protruding lips she had i have found that i am a big fan of that kind of structure if a woman has that. Other than those things, though, it was just, in general, a fun experience. Eva enjoyed her time with Terry. Nothing spectacular or notable. Just an overall fun time.
At the end of the evening, we said our goodbyes, and Sheila said goodbye with that sexy accent of hers and we began to drive home the aftermath is notable because it kind of bothers bothers me a little bit to day, very similar to our surprise sex party experience. You can listen to that way back in episode nine, by the way. It became quite obvious that to Terry and Sheila, we were just notches on their bedpost. Although we said we should get together again sometime, we never did.
In the weeks that followed, I made some attempts to reach out to Terry and mentioned getting together again, like setting something up, like putting a date down, he always responded, always said things like, yes, we need to soon. Or yeah, we'll have to check our calendars. But nothing ever materialized. They never got back to us with dates and any messages we received from them was always just a polite response to a message that I sent. They did not seem truly interested in seeing us again.
Eva and I were certainly not heartbroken or offended the fact that they were way more experienced enjoyed getting notches on their bedpost just for the sake of fucking as many people as possible had unprotected sex frequently with multiple partners without being tested regularly. That honestly made us not quite so enthusiastic about seeing them again anyway. Now, if they had been more receptive to my messages and proposed the date, we would have been fine with it. We would have definitely played with them again. But since they didn't, as more time went by, the more we decided I don't know.
definitely played with played with them again but since they didn't as more time went by the more we decided you know we're really not that interested in playing with them again again though i'll say if they were to text me today and want to set up a play date we still probably would we would definitely give them another another round if they wanted it and that was that one of our only ever experiences where we ended up playing on the first date I will admit to you listeners that it was hot and exciting and I won't hide the fact that i wish eva felt differently about the prospect i wouldn't want to go into a first date expecting to play but i also wouldn't mind going into a first date thinking there's a chance here i don't you know i don't like going into a first date thinking there is no way in hell we're going to play tonight no matter how well it goes Let's do this.
I don't, you know, I don't like going into a first date thinking there is no way in hell we are going to play tonight no matter how well it goes. If it goes amazingly well, then my thinking is, why not? However, Eva thinks differently, and I respect that. I respect her wishes. It is incredibly important that she and I be on the same page when it comes to comfort levels. My wife's comfort and safety are always my top priorities. Therefore, we stick with her no playing on the first date rule.
The thing is, there are always exceptions to rules like down in cancun rules can be bent and sometimes broken you never know you just never know we can meet a couple one day where the guy just knocks her socks off makes her dripping wet with anticipation and she decides, I want him tonight. It could happen, just not likely. That is the end of my story for today, but I have to tell you about something really dumb. I told you earlier that I go back and listen to my previous episodes occasionally. And I have to admit that I am very self-critical. I noticed something that stood out to me.
I say the word so a lot when I'm telling my stories. It started to annoy me once I realized I did that. So, see I just said it. Up until this part of the episode, I made it a point to not use that word a single time. I'll have to go back and check and see if I succeeded, but I don't think I did. I think I succeeded. I don't think I used that word. You may have never noticed how often I use that word, but now you will, if you come back and listen again.
But now that I've focused on it, I will probably go out of my way to use it less and then i'll notice something else i do that's annoying i i did notice in a few episodes i would make a sound between sentences like that like a click like that but i've worked on that in addition to controlling my plosives it's a work in progress people. I don't have a studio with a fancy sound with, you know, fancy sound equipment. I have a basic microphone and a computer with free audio software. That's it.
It's not about the it's about the content, not the audio quality right i hope so hopefully you agree with me and hopefully you enjoyed this episode and we'll come back and listen again sometime if you would like to connect with me please find me on blue sky there is a evan swings page on blue now, and you can also find me on Instagram at Evan Deenson, you can email me at evandeenson at gmail dot com, or you can find me on Kik at the same name. I will admit though that I am trying to move away from Kik as it has become just overrun with ads. Just way too many.
But I still check it daily and would be happy to chat with you on there if need be. Send me any questions, comments, suggestions, future episode stuff. Anything like that. Feel free. Send it my way. Until next time, be safe, be naughty, and take care everyone.
