Ep. 32: Evan Plays...at a Club!

Transcript

the following podcast contains adult content including adult language i talk openly about sex and other adult topics if you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives please listen no further i am not a professional therapist counselor or doctor i'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of guidance or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

Hi everyone, welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle. My name is Evan, not my real name, and my wife is Eva, not her real name, and we have been in the lifestyle for three and a half amazing years. If you are new to the podcast, thank you. Thank you for giving me a shot.

Check out my earliest episodes If you want to hear about how Eva and I got into the lifestyle our early adventures and returning listeners welcome back always nice to have you here with me as I always say Eva and I are not experts there are some there are plenty of people who have been in the lifestyle lifestyle far longer than us and have experienced much more than us, but I hope my little podcast here can offer some insight, uh, information and hopefully some entertainment along the way. I have to admit something to you before I go any further. I was not happy with my last episode.

I recorded it, I published it, and when I went back to listen to it, I thought, this is boring. This episode is just boring. So I wanted to make sure that this episode was a little more exciting, maybe a little more juicy and interesting. So, I really hope I have succeeded. You guys will be the judge, I guess. So, let's get into it. Those of you who know me well, and maybe have listened to a lot of this podcast know that I suffer from anxiety. My anxiety materializes in a lot of different ways in a lot of different situations.

It rears its ugly head in many aspects of my life, including, of course, the lifestyle. And I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that, you know, sometimes it affects my performance in bed. You know, I get in my own head and sometimes because of that, I don't rise to the occasion. If you know what I mean, I, I tend not to be myself when meeting new people because I get my own head and I'm constantly second guessing myself, you know, like wondering what to say, you know, trying to try to come across as a cool, fun, charming guy. And I constantly wonder, is this girl into me?

Am I doing a good job? Should I make a move? What if she doesn't want to want me to make a move? You know, what? What if by not making a move, she thinks I'm not interested? You know, those are just some of the thoughts that constantly roll around in my brain. Because of my anxiety, I find it almost impossible to relax and just be myself, you know, and just enjoy myself, especially when I'm with couples for the first time.

And that is a major reason why Eva and I like to have what we call regulars, you know, couples whom we trust, whom we enjoy being with both inside and outside the bedroom and who we play with on a regular or semi-regular basis. When we reach that point with a couple, my anxiety seems to dissipate. You know, I can be myself, I can relax, but it can take a while to get to that point. And there are plenty of. There are plenty of couples whom we really like.

For example, Walter and Briannaanna who I've discussed before uh or a few different couples who who live kind of far away from us you know who who we love spend you know we'd love to spend more time with to have them become quote-unquote regulars but distance and time prevent that from happening and that is why we really want to find more local couples that we that we connect with it's very difficult in small town ohio though so my anxiety continues to be a factor in that regard you know if you are not a regular, my anxiety is probably going to be an issue when we get together.

Another place my anxiety hits hard is at a club. I've said it many times before, I can't play at a club. My brain cannot focus in that environment. We tried it about a year and a half into our lifestyle journey. I mentioned it in my episode about the soft swappers, if you have listened to that one. We were at Club Princeton in Columbus, Ohio, which Eva and I really like. It is very well kept, very clean, always a fun time. We went into one of the playrooms and it was exactly what I worried it would be. The room was hot and stuffy. It was certainly not soundproof.

We could hear the music pumping and thumping and i admit i I'm a little bit of a germaphobe. So my mind quickly went to, uh, is this room clean? Um, the, the sheet on the bed kept coming off and made this really distracting, crinkling sound. And all of that is what my brain focused on. I couldn't just focus on enjoying myself or the gorgeous woman that was there with us. It just was not enjoyable to me. And I vowed never to try to play at the club again. But, my friends, vows can be broken. And that brings me to today's story.

I want to tell you about our experience with a couple who I will call Jack and Kate. And after I tell you the story about our experience with them, I have a crazy side story to share from that same evening. So I hope that was a good little teaser and you'll stick around to hear about that at the end of my story. Okay. So, uh, first I have to give you some background back in episode 30, my failure to launch episode. I talked about our experience at a hotel takeover in August of 2024. That was the night we played with Walter and Brianna.

It was also the night we met an awesome couple, Jack and Kate. They had reached out to us on SLS or one of the other sites and expressed interest in meeting us at the takeover. They seemed fun and attractive. So Eva and I were like, sure, you know, the more the merrier. More the merrier. We love meeting new people, new, you know, fun, attractive people. But remember, there was like 2,000 people at this event. It was huge. It was massive. There were no guarantees we would even run into Jack and Kate. Thankfully, they found us by the dance floor on Friday night and introduced themselves.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are times in the lifestyle where I just have to think to myself holy shit and this was one of those moments seeing kate in person i was absolutely captivated and to this day the way she introduced herself was just the coolest sexiest introduction ever she said hello gave this amazingly sexy smile and leaned in and kissed my cheek and that was it people it was over right then and there I was hooked and she was she was so hot stunning uh, both she and Jack were just so personable and friendly. It was like, it was like there was this instant connection.

Um, and Eva really liked Jack too. You know, I keep talking about Kate here, but Eva was, Eva really liked Jack as well. But if you remember, we were kind of spoken for that evening. We had some good friends of ours coming to the hotel just for the night to experience their first ever takeover. Plus there was Walter and Brianna. We wanted to spend time with everybody, but obviously that's not the easiest thing to do. We talked a bunch, hung out a bit, but we did not see Jack and Kate again that evening once our friends arrived. Now, night two rolled around.

We were close to the dance floor, hanging out by a table with Walter and Brianna and some other people. And who shows up to hang with us? Jack and Kate. It was really cool to get to know them a bit and just, you know, hang out and chat. But Kate, holy hell. She was dressed in this sexy neon thing and was very friendly with me very she started kissing me several times and kind of like caressing the front of my pants just kind of teasing and flirting i wanted this woman very badly um we stayed in touch with Jack and Kate after the hotel takeover because we felt like we really hit it off.

But if you recall, I had to have knee surgery four days after that takeover. So I was going to be out of commission for about a month. Plus, they lived in the Cleveland area. And remember, Eva and I live in the Dayton area. If you haven't Google mapped that in Ohio, I would say they live over four hours away from us. So not exactly a convenient situation. Not a quick commute in any way. But we knew we really wanted to see them again, and we also learned that they had never visited Club Princeton in Columbus.

So we decided that we would meet them in Columbus one day and be with them for their first experience there. And it worked out that we'd be doing this in October, two months after the hotel takeover. It was at eight. So the time came and we started out with the usual. We met for dinner at actually Eva's favorite restaurant in Columbus. Had a fantastic time, great conversation, even some little bit of sexy talk, and then it was time to hit the club. The theme of the night was sexy red dress, and let me tell you, Eva and Kate did not disappoint.

I wish I could show you how they looked that evening. Just drop-dead gorgeous, both of them. I should also mention something I forgot earlier. During our conversations leading up to this evening, Jack had mentioned that he and Kate really enjoyed playing at the club. They loved the environment. They loved the vibe of it. And obviously that was the complete opposite of how I felt. Eva doesn't care. She is a rock. She would have no trouble playing at the club. This was all on me. I was the one kind of causing an inconvenience. But Jack was a true gentleman, okay?

Very respectful and understanding of, you know, the way I am. He and Kate were perfectly fine going back to the hotel after the club to play. but I felt bad that, you know, I was the one making it more difficult than it should be. Jack even stated something like, you know, it was fine. It was fine, but he hoped that he and Kate could drive us so wild with anticipation that we wouldn't want to wait to go back to the hotel and play. We would want to just go back to a room at the club. Spoiler alert. He was kind of right on the money with that thought.

Thankfully, Jack and Kate loved to dance just like Eva and I do. So after plenty of dancing with our spouses, we, we of course, uh, swapped at some point in the evening, swap dancing, I should say. Um, Kate was a very sexy dancer and the, the outfit she wore was just absolutely perfect, okay? We did a lot of dancing, a lot of kissing, a lot of touching. In fact, one of my favorite parts of the evening was when we were on the dance floor, and she asked me to touch her to feel how wet she was. And that was quite nice. I love being asked by a woman to do things like that. Touch me here.

Kiss me here. I want to feel you here. That kind of stuff. It drives me wild. But let me get to the main part of all this. While we were dancing, Kate made a comment to me about how layered I was. And by layered, I mean how much clothing I was wearing. I was wearing a t-shirt underneath a dress shirt with a tie under a vest. So yeah, I would say I was pretty covered up up top. Well, Gaye commented that I shouldn't wear so much clothing because it prevents easy access for any woman that I'm with. And once she said that, she started unbuttoning my vest and my shirt and pulled it out of my pants.

Um, because you know, it was tucked in, it was tucked into my pants and she yanked up my shirt, exposing my lower, my lower, uh, torso. And she got this look on her face like, wow. And she said something like, wow, I can't believe you were hiding this. And she was referring to my abdomen, you know, like where my ripped abs would be if I had ripped abs. She was just so complimentary. and there have been very few times in my time in the lifestyle where a woman came right out and complimented my body. I hate my body. Okay. I am not super muscular. Um, I'm not fat, but I'm not really toned either.

I've had three elbow surgeries with two more probably on the horizon. I can't work out anymore. I can't build muscle through exercise. You know, my arms can't hold up to it anymore. So I'm very self-conscious about my physical appearance. Like I've said many times before, when women are looking for men on lifestyle sites, from my experience, most are interested in the tall, muscular dudes with thick, luscious hair. I have none of those three qualities. So when a woman seems to genuinely appreciate what I bring to the table, it is a huge, massive confidence boost for me.

Kate pulled up my shirt further and was equally complimentary about my chest. She touched and caressed it and told me how hot it looked. She was like, I can't believe you were hiding this.

Ladies and gentlemen, as a high anxiety individual who is constantly concerned about disappointing a woman physically in the lifestyle when someone says things like that to me it is a game changer she made me feel so good about myself it was like it was like she injected confidence into my body and she was complimentary to me the entire rest of the evening it was like music to my ears and for the record i was extremely complimentary of her as well i mean she is just smoking fucking hot absolute smoke show of a woman and and she seemed to be really into me and as i said from a confidence perspective that is a game changer for me.

Things continued to get pretty hot and heavy on the dance floor, both between me and Kate and Eva and Jack. I forget how it reached the boiling point, but at some point, everyone agreed we were ready to play and again Jack was super respectful about this he and Kate made it clear that they were ready to go right to a playroom and get down to business but they understood that I was against playing at the club but let me tell you I was against playing at the club. Let me tell you, I was riding high. Kate's actions and compliments gave me a sense of calmness.

You know, I really did not feel my anxiety attack uh like like it normally does so I was willing to give it a shot I told them that I was willing to try but I couldn't promise that things were going to work out uh down below and they were so understanding and I think that's part of why it actually ended up working out they made me feel like I was normal you know I like I wasn't crazy for having such high anxiety you know they they respected it and were still willing to go back to the hotel and play if if things didn't work out but let me tell you they did work out all that confidence that kate gave me the understanding that both she and jack showed i was feeling good we walked into a giant playroom that is affectionately nicknamed the Fishbowl at Club Princeton.

It is a giant room with lots of beds. You know, there are a few big beds in the middle of the room, the center of the room. And then there are beds that, uh, line the walls like they're against the sidewalls. And those beds on the sidewalls have curtains to offer some privacy, but not a whole lot. You know, they're, they're thin and they don't cover up the entire bed area. There were people naked and playing all around us. There was an orgy going on in the middle of the room. Normally, this would be a huge no for me. But this night was different. I was feeling it.

When we got to the bed and started undressing, I was good to go. You know, we made out and kind of played around a bit prior to the actual sex. And things were feeling great. Kate's naked body was unbelievable. And then the moment of truth. For whatever reason, putting on a condom can often cause me to lose my erection, even with ED meds. But tonight, I had no issues whatsoever. And I attribute that to Kate's steady stream of compliments and her actions, like the way she kissed and touched me, and her and Jack's respect and understanding.

You know, they knew this wasn't my thing and would have been totally fine and not offended if I was unable to perform but I was and it was spectacular Kate was very vocal which is a massive turn on to me an amazing kisser as I said had him had an amazing body and was an amazing rider. And I just love the enthusiasm she showed. And then there was Jack and Eva. Jack made Eva squirt. Maybe more than I've ever seen. Like literally one third of the bed was drenched. Even I could not believe how much came out of her. It was all around a fantastic time.

And Eva and I both agreed that this experience was the most fun we have ever had at a club. Hands down. One of the best lifestyle experiences for both of us. So yes, Evan has now officially had sex with another woman at a lifestyle club, I am proud to say. Overcoming the anxiety of it was just a huge step for me. And looking back, Eva and I also agreed that playing at a club like we did has some advantages. You know, we were hot and in the moment. You know, we didn't have to drive 20 minutes to a hotel and lose some of that energy. We didn't have to worry about sleeping on a soaked bed.

It was an in-the-moment type thing, and we both really, really enjoyed it. It was almost like a hotel takeover, where if you're on the dance floor and feeling it, and you're ready to go play, you just go off and play. You don't have to drive 20 minutes to a different hotel so it got me thinking if i was able to do it once perhaps i can do it again and that is a big boost for me mentally i accomplished something i never thought i would do i never thought i could do. So this opens up a whole new world of possibilities.

Obviously, we enjoyed our time with Jack and Kate so much that we immediately expressed interest in seeing them again. So we hope to drive up to the Cleveland area sometime in the next few months, visit them and hopefully for them to show us their local lifestyle club. Very excited about that. And now, fairly comfortable with the idea of playing at that club. I know I can do it again with Kate. I mean, she had an uncanny knack for filling me with calmness and confidence. I just wonder if I am ever in the situation with a different woman in a club setting who doesn't have a similar knack.

Will things go differently? Time will tell, I guess. we don't go to clubs very often, so it may be a long time before I'm able to test that out. But I will keep you listeners posted when I do. Now, earlier I promised a little side story. So here it is. A very interesting thing happened at the club that evening. I was dancing with Eva at the time, and I hear someone next to me say, Hi, Mr. Deanson. My eyes must have widened to the size of dinner plates. I am a school teacher. The only people in my life who call me Mr. Deanson are my students and the parents of those students.

So when I heard, hi, Mr. Deanson, I immediately knew this was not a good situation. I turned and saw this woman that I did not recognize. She was older, so definitely not a former student. And by the way, that has happened out in public before, where a former student says hello to me. Like a couple of times in my life, actually, I have seen this really hot 20-something-year-old girl, you know, like at Walmart, and they suddenly say, hi, Mr.

Deenson, and that's when I realized, sadly, that I was just ogling a former student of mine, and that has happened twice, actually, but this woman was definitely not a former student. This was a parent. And she just recognized me at a swingers club in Columbus, Ohio. But again, I did not recognize her. So I asked her if I knew her. I'm like, do I know you? And she responded by telling me she was the mom of a particular student I had in my class last year, last school year. There are very few parents of students I would recognize out in public.

So it wasn't surprising that I didn't know who she was at first. I suppose I always knew a situation like this was was a possibility but I never really prepared for it deep down I didn't think it would ever really happen you know I mean chances are there are plenty of parents of my former students in the lifestyle. Just, you know, the math says that. I just never thought I would actually run into one. I knew it was a possibility. I just never thought it would happen.

This woman was drunk off her ass, though mean drunk off her ass she could hardly stand and her speech was very slurred i probably shouldn't have said what i said looking back but one of the first things out of my mouth it was like a reflex said, please don't tell anyone you saw me here. She drunkenly replied that my secret was safe with her and she stumbled somewhere else. Actually, I think she stumbled into Eva's arms.

And she said that she thought Eva was was hot and Eva kind of like shushed her off it was you know very obvious that Eva was not interested either so she ended up moving on um later on in the evening I was about to walk into the men's room and she was in there for some reason she came stumbling out and kind of latched on to me with her arms and she said hi mr deanson again and said you're so hot and i just said thank you and tried to keep moving past her. And a guy she was with at that point kind of helped her away from me and kind of led her away. And I went to the restroom.

And that was the last I saw her the rest of the evening. And oh, and one more thing that comes to mind. When she was with Eva, when she stumbled over to Eva, she said some things that we couldn't even understand. She was that drunk that we could not even understand the words that she was saying. And for the record, this woman was not my type. I was not attracted to her physically. And even if I was, that is a slippery slope I would not wish to climb. That hits too close to home, too close to my career. I was a bit worried about what would come from her seeing me at the club.

But those worries quickly subsided. First of all, she was drunk off her ass. There are few people that I have seen more drunk than her in my life. So for all she knows, she could have talked to someone who just looked a lot like Mr. Deenson. Hell, she might not even remember talking to me at all. And secondly, if she wanted to out me for whatever reason, then she would have to out herself as well. If she wanted to tell her friends that Mr. Deanson is a swinger, then she'd have to admit she is one as well. I mean, why else would you be at that club? So I think I'm pretty safe.

But it was still just a weird situation. When I see her daughter walking in the hallway at my school, I'm instantly reminded of that evening.

And I always think to myself, when that mom comes to the school for conference night or as a volunteer or to to pick up her daughter for an early dismissal is she going to like if she sees me is she gonna uh like stop and give me a wink and and when i do do do i acknowledge why she's giving me that wink you know do I acknowledge that I saw her at that club or do I play stupid again she was fucking drunk out of her mind she has no proof it was actually me she saw there and if that were to happen i i think i i wouldn't admit it you know I but I wouldn't deny it either like like maybe I'd say uh I don't know what you're talking about you know kind of in a almost like a sarcastic tone so kind of admitting it but kind of not'll see.

Hopefully it won't even come to that. But one more interesting thing that came from that situation. In my last episode, Compelled to Tell, I mentioned a co-worker who I hope to tell at some point about being in the lifestyle. Well, because of this situation with the parent at the club, Thank you. I hope to tell at some point about being in the lifestyle. Well, because of this situation with the parent at the club, I felt like I wanted to get some advice and perspective from another teacher.

And this guy, my coworker, worked with that mom student every day as an intervention specialist last year. So he knew her mom well. So I decided to spill the beans. I told him that Eva and I were swingers. And I told him about seeing that mom at the club. And he was fantastic about it. Very accepting, very respectful. He's currently single, but, but he said, if he ever had a significant other, he would probably be interested in swinging himself. And he thought my idea about not admitting it was me, should that mom ever bring it up, was a good idea. So in the end, it all worked out.

I got some good advice. and now I have a new confidant in my workplace with whom I could speak my mind or lock eyes with and smile when my other colleagues mention how gross or how bad swinging is. And interestingly enough, I mean, that has come up several times. Various situations, you know, we're having lunch together and it somehow comes up. It has come up several times, just discussion about swingers and, uh, how they heard about certain teachers in our district who are swingers and, uh, you know, jokes pop up a bunch.

uh i i forget i forget the most recent one but i know one time uh my colleague who i just mentioned uh had moved into a new house and he it was his grandparents house that he bought and we were over there checking it out and one of my other colleagues said something like, oh, maybe your grandparents were swingers in this basement. And you're just joking around. So it has come up more than I would have ever thought. So now, when it does come up, we can kind of give each other a look. All right. Lots to share that episode, but we've come to the end of the show now.

And I, I hope I have succeeded. I hope when I go back and listen to this, I don't think to myself, eh, that wasn't a lot better than the last episode, but, uh, I did try. If you made it this far, thanks for hanging, hanging on with me today. I hope you enjoyed the episode and hope you'll come back for another listen, another time. And then we'll listen, another time. In the meantime, feel free to reach out and contact me with any questions or comments you might have. Or if you're interested in coming on the show as a guest, you can reach me on Kik or Instagram at evandiansen.

Or you can email me, evandiansen at gmail. deanson or you can email me evan deanson at gmail.com or you can now even find me at blue sky just search for evan swings and i will be there i appreciate you listening today until next time be safe be naughty take care everyone