Ep. 25: Evan Gets Jelly

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles.

hello lifestyle friends i'm your host evan welcome to evan swings a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the lifestyle i am of course half of a lifestyle couple the other half being my lovely wife eva who i have to stop and let you guys know this she just told me a few days ago that she did not like or does not like the title of this podcast she's not a fan of the the name evan swings so i was a little a little taken aback there a little offended you know i wanted when i first started i wanted to uh i wanted to make sure i included the word swing or swinger to kind of categorize it and i really wanted wanted to use, you know, my alter ego name, Evan.

So that's, you know, I thought it was something simple, Evan Swings. But yeah, I was surprised to learn that Eva never really liked it. So pretty interesting. But oh well, we move on. We have been in the lifestyle for three years now. And if you are new to the program, welcome. Happy to have you. It is recommended, though, you go back and listen to some of my earlier stuff, some of the earlier episodes first, but definitely not a necessity.

I hope you'll still find what i have to say informative and or entertaining and uh to my returning listeners of course welcome back happy to have you as always got some uh kind of big news to share you know i i record my episodes in advance all right so sometimes several episodes ahead of schedule the big news is that Eva and I have decided to go to an all-exclusive lifestyle resort next month so by the time you hear this it we will probably already have completed our trip so when I say next month i'm talking august of 2024 so whenever you hear this you kind of have to just use that frame of reference but i do hope to dedicate an episode to our experience at that resort in the near future still not 100 that we are going we're looking at tickets and packages and all that but if all goes according to plan we hope to be booked up and you know everything taken care of in the next day or two but anyway moving on this is episode 25 I never I never really thought I would actually make it this far, to be honest with you, but here we are still plugging along.

And of course, um, you know, over the, the previous 24 episodes, I've told a lot of stories, given a lot of hopefully good perspective on being in the lifestyle. And I mentioned a few times that there was really only one time in our three years in the lifestyle that I personally experienced an issue with jealousy. And I also said that I would at some point do an episode on that particular experience. We'll see you next time. And I also said that I would at some point do an episode on that particular experience. And that time is now. This is that episode.

However, I do have to mention that as I was telling Eva about putting together this episode, she reminded me of another incident where I, uh, where I experienced jealousy. So, so I'll, I'll tell you about that one too. But first of all, I want to touch back on a question that was asked of me.

Uh, I already addressed it in episode 21, but it kind of applies here, kind of ties into what I'm about to talk about so I wanted to kind of touch on it again someone asked me how do I deal with seeing Eva having sex with another man often right next to me well first of all even i you know we got into the lifestyle knowing full well what to expect i mean i expected to see another guy fucking my wife and i i like the thought of that like i i like the thought of the idea of that happening and i and i still do to this day um i love talking about it i love um thinking about it love seeing it happen and eva knew that she'd be seeing me fuck another woman.

So as a couple, you have to understand what you're going to see. If the thought of that makes you uncomfortable in any way, then perhaps you need to do a little more thinking. Think on it a little bit and talk about it a little bit more before jumping into it. But it's truly different for every couple. We knew, or I should say we know, we know that at least one other couple who thought they would be fine with it. But when it came time for their first full swap experience, they started feeling uncomfortable and they stopped and backed out.

But if you're the jealous type, okay, that, you know, that, that could happen. All right. i'm trying to think of a way to way to express this okay if you if you see someone checking out your wife from across the room and you feel hints of jealousy that may be a red flag all right and jealousy can happen. All right. Even, even after a significant amount of time in the lifestyle, because, you know, another lifestyle couple that we know, friends of ours, they've had it happen to them. Two couples, actually, that I can think. All friends of ours. Jealousy has come up in their experiences.

And for both couples, they had to step back, reassess, kind of talk things out, and eventually got back into it. But it does happen. It can happen to you, even if you don't think it could. So how did I become okay with sharing my spouse? As I mentioned, it started with kind of an epiphany, right? At some point, I realized that sex and love can be two completely separate things, in my opinion. Again, this is just my opinion. And I would venture to guess it's a prevailing opinion of a lot of other swingers, most other swingers even.

you can have sex with someone and that someone can be someone you love Um, a lot of other swingers, most other swingers, even you can have sex with someone and that someone can be someone you love very much. And the sex can be an act of love, but the sex can also just be about pleasure. Even if you love the person, okay, the actual sex sex is not it's not just about love it it can be just about having fun it could be just about some pleasure it can be just about satisfying an animal instinct that that we as humans possess because we are animals. We do have animalistic urges to reproduce.

Have you ever had a quickie? You probably have. Okay. I'm assuming if you're listening to this at some point in your life, you have had a quickie. That's just a quick act of pleasure. Okay, it's not a huge show of love and devotion. So yes, it can be just about pleasure. outside of the lifestyle sex is often considered or can be considered a sacred, significant act or event between two people. You know, it often serves as an important point or like a milestone that is reached in a relationship. It is the ultimate point you can reach physically with someone.

You know, and some people think that if you sleep with someone, the relationship has now reached a serious step. you know and others can you know see it just as an act of pleasure or passion or simply like just physical enjoyment. So when this person asked me this question, that was my response. The sex you are going to have as part of the lifestyle is not an expression of love. It is not the same type of sex that you are used to having with your spouse. The sex you are going to have is purely for pleasure. It is purely for fun. It is purely for sexual exploration.

so for Eva and me it was the understanding that sex and love are two completely separate entities. And my opinion is that you don't have to have that solid, or I should say, if you don't have that solid understanding, like solid, beyond the shadow of it out, if you don't have that solid understanding that there's a way to separate sex and love, you are putting yourself at risk for jealousy and complications during your lifestyle journey. I probably sounded like I was an expert there, or at least thought I was an expert. Let me assure you, I am not.

Okay, those are just my opinions on the matter, and others may have a completely different take on it. So please remember i'm not an expert not a licensed professional of any kind all right that's just my humble humble opinion average guy in the lifestyle so now that i have professed how awesome i am about not getting jealous let me tell you about the times I did. Okay. Proving that even the self-proclaimed, uh, jealous proofs, jealous proof types can still find themselves in situations where, where jealousy can creep up on them. Okay.

So I'll start off with, uh, the one that evo reminded me of okay and it's a real short story and then i'll get into the bigger one we had this one local couple where things just absolutely fell apart once we once we really got to know them and i've referred to them before as the batshit crazy couple. Probably a little harsh, but that's what I call them and it kind of stuck. Well, when things started to get bad, I ended things with the wife first. I just, I did not want to see her anymore. She broke my trust, and that is a big no-no with me. She violated my trust, and so I knew it was over.

But Eva was still interested in seeing the guy, like seeing him separately. I did not like this at all. But against my better judgment, I said it was okay for her to keep seeing him. I wanted her to be happy, and if the situations were reversed, I realized I would appreciate Eva allowing me to continue to see her. Thankfully, she only saw him like once or twice more, I can't remember exactly, before she finally realized what I realized and ended things with him. But during those one or two times, I was not happy about it.

You know, usually when Eva comes home after fucking a guy, I am so turned on and riled up. I was not for this. So I don't know. Thinking about this now, I don't know if this would actually qualify as jealousy. I did not like that it was happening. It was just more of like, you know, I was accepting it because I love my wife and I want her to be happy and have the opportunities to explore her sexuality the way that she wants to experience it. So I don't know. I don't know now that I hear myself talking about it out loud. I'm not sure if it was actual jealousy I was experiencing.

Definitely a sense of unease, but not sure if I was actually jealous. You know, looking back, I would have probably handled things differently and maybe put up more of a fight to, you know, let her go off and see and see him you know I didn't want to be selfish though but at the same time my partner and I should be you know we should both be 100% comfortable and 100% on board with the situation for it to happen right I mean you know in the lifestyle, both a husband and a wife should always be 100% comfortable or else it should be a no go. Am I right about that?

I, I, I feel like that I am, that it should be that way. Well, that was a while ago. anyway um it was year one i think yeah i think it was in the first year of our involvement in the lifestyle so i kind of give us a pass you know i i say it a lot but you you live and learn and we learned a lot from uh that experience and i don't think we would ever allow ourselves to be put in that sort of situation again. Now, I definitely experienced jealousy during this one situation, which I am about to share with you. Now, this took place within the last year, I would say six to eight months ago.

Yeah, I would. Yeah, I think that's a that's's a fair estimate we had gotten very close with another couple who lived just outside the columbus ohio area and as a reminder to any new listeners or those of you who have forgotten uh we live outside the dayton ohio area columbus is it's about 90 minutes from us anyway this couple, we would see them fairly regularly, like every couple months, I'd say. They refused to wear condoms, like absolutely refused. But we liked them a lot and established a great deal of trust with them. So we ended up having or coming up with an agreement.

They would be one of two couples that we didn't use a condom with. And we would all agree to have testing done prior to playing so considering their distance away from us it was not convenient to see them all that frequently so like i said we ended up seeing them like every couple months maybe even every three months but we would stagger our testing so like i would get tested after a month or two then eva would get tested a month or two later Here we go. months, but we would stagger our testing.

So like I, I would get tested after a month or two, then Eva would get tested a month or two later, not exactly foolproof, you know, not exactly 100% safe and accurate, but we knew the risks and felt we were taking acceptable precautions. And I'm, I, I guess I'm just telling you all this because I'm trying to make it clear that we really, really like this couple. So we would not do all that, all that testing for just any couple. They were one of our favorites. He was one of, if not the favorite of Eva as well. She says that he is a magic dick. And he makes her come like no one else can.

We can't explain it. So we just call it a magic dick. And I really enjoyed her, the woman, because, well, well for one she seemed to really enjoy me she commented on how I touched her like no other guy touched her and that's that's just irresistible to me you know I I have low self-confidence I admit it so when a woman tells This is meistible to me. You know, I have low self-confidence. I admit it. So when a woman tells me they really like what I am doing, like to her, that makes it even more enjoyable for me. She also squirted a lot in terms of both frequency and quantity.

So needless to say, she made me feel really good about myself, like like I was an adequate lover who could meet her sexual needs. Felt really good about myself. And they enjoyed going to Club Princeton, too. So that gave us a couple that we could visit the club with. Let's do this. And they enjoyed going to Club Princeton, too. So that gave us a couple that we could visit the club with. In the fall of 2023, if I'm remembering correctly, I'm just kind of estimating here. My memory is not the best, but I'm going to say fall of 2023, they hosted us for a playdate.

And at at that time they gave us the disappointing news that due to certain medical concerns they would be leaving the lifestyle for at least a year and a half i wish i could give you more details than that but the medical medical stuff is pretty specific. And I want to be able to protect their identity, so I'm not going to elaborate on it. You just have to trust me that due to medical concerns with her, that they were unable to have any playdates until 2025 at the earliest.

Eva and I were certainly disappointed, but we of course understood, you know, they were making a decision that was best for their family. Several months pass. And I, again, I wish I could give you a better timeframe, but I really don't remember. And it's not really essential to the, to the plot of the story here. So we'll just say several months passed and we, we've, we've stayed in touch, you know, because like I said, they became pretty good friends of ours.

I'm going to give them a name at this point i'm gonna i'm gonna call them bruce and bonnie well bonnie reached out to eva one day and said that despite announcing they were abstaining from lifestyle activity there was still a way for all of us to play we would also have to like eva and i would also have to abstain from any extramarital lifestyle activity for four weeks then get tested share negative results for stis then play. Now, Eva, craving that magic dick, was on board right away. I didn't share the same excitement, but I was fine with it.

You know, I really enjoy making Eva happy, and I really enjoyed playing with Bonnie. So Eva and I did what we were asked. We basically took a lifestyle break for a month. And we both got tested. Of course receiving negative results. Then things took an infuriating turnuriating turn for me infuriating. I think I said that right infuriating. It took a bad turn for me. Bonnie informed us that there was a misunderstanding and that under no circumstances could she have sex with someone other than her husband during this year-and-a-half medical sabbatical, or whatever you want to call it.

So I was out. We took a break for a month so that we could play with Bruce and Bonnie. And now suddenly, I was not allowed to play. But of course, Eva was allowed, and Bruce really wanted to play with her. And she really wanted to play with Bruce. And Bonnie wanted to join in and have kind of like a soft swap threesome.

You know, she couldn't, you know, have have sex with another man but fooling around with eva was just fine i'm not going to sugarcoat it i felt like i was really getting the shaft there all right i followed all the instructions and i suddenly could not participate Now, Eva was good about this. She told me flat out that if that, you know, she really, really wanted to do this, but would not if it was going to bother me. Well, it did bother me. I knew that I was going to feel jealous. I felt like I was being left out. Circumstances beyond control, of course. But I was feeling left out.

And I told, I told Eva that I preferred she did not go. She would have to drive 90 minutes herself there and then 90 minutes back home in the dark and she has she doesn't have very good vision driving at night she has vision trouble so all that made me uncomfortable in addition to the fact that she was to have, she was going to get to have a threesome without me after I thought I would be there present with them playing too. But I also said that I was not selfish. And if it was something that she really wanted to do, I would feel too badly keeping her from doing so.

In a way, deep down, I figured she probably wouldn't end up going, knowing that this was kind of a hard decision for me to make, but she did. And that was a very, very rough night for me. I should say that I tried to have my own fun that night. I attempted to find a play date for myself, but as I expected, my posts were basically ignored, probably laughed at on SLS and some other sites. um there there on these sites, on SLS it's called Hot Date, like a hot date area, where you can explain your circumstances and find a date for a certain night. You know, mostly couples.

Things like, we're in Cincinnati for a business trip this weekend. We'd love to find a couple to hang out with. You know, things like that. My posting was like, my wife is off playing with another couple and I'm looking to have my own fun. Something to that effect. And there were no takers, obviously. the day arrived, and up until the point that Eva departed, I really thought there was a good chance she would back out and say, I see that you're uncomfortable with this, so I'm going to just stay home. But the allure of the magic dick was too strong.

I can't really blame her because I got a text and I think was still at work. I can't remember, but the text said she had just left. She loved me and she let me know when she got there. So yeah. So, um, and, and to top things off all my kids had plans that night so um you know no one was at our house and all my my vanilla friends were busy so I was stuck home alone in my house wondering how good my wife was getting fucked right now and picturing the three of them having a good time at a hotel without me. So ladies and gentlemen, whether it was warranted or not, I was jealous.

I was really jealous. I felt left out. And again, whether it was warranted or not, I felt like they were having fun without me while they were well aware I wasn't completely comfortable with the situation, and that up until shortly before, I expected to be there with them. So I was jealous. I wanted to be there with them. So I was jealous. I wanted to be there too. So badly. Especially because I had nothing else to do that evening. Nothing to really occupy my mind. So I cleaned her house. Our kitchen was spotless by the time Eva got home.

And I won't lie, it was was really rough on me really rough that night i i think i've i've said this before but i i do i do suffer from depression and anxiety and this situation i let it get to me you know i started feeling bad about myself i started feeling like i wasn know, that's why, you know, I couldn't find a play date for myself that evening. So it was pretty bad. It was, it was bad. Luckily, I had my dogs with me to keep me company. And that, that helped, that actually helped a lot. I knew Eva would be home late.

And she texted me when she left the hotel and i told her to drive safely then i got in bed to wait for her now normally in a situation like this where she's returning from a play, I would be so fucking excited for her to come home, for her to tell me all about it, and for us to have our usual reclaim sex. But something was different this time, and this is the only time I have ever felt this way. I knew she'd be coming home in this sexy outfit that she wore for her play date, but I just, I didn't want to see it. I, I didn't want to know like how fucking hot she looked for Bruce and Bonnie.

And I, I may have texted her. I don't remember, but, but we worked it out so that she would come home, take off her clothes and get in bed naked without me like actually seeing I'll see you next time.

texted her i don't remember but but we worked it out so that she would come home take off her clothes and get in bed naked without me like actually seeing her in the outfit she wore and i i don't know now that i say that that it sounds stupid i i i get it it sounds stupid but it was a really rough night that night so she did she you know, she came into our bedroom with her coat on, uh, undressed in our walk-in closet and then joined me in bed. And we, we had our reclaimed sex and it was nice, but Eva felt it too. Something was different.

So it, it wasn't the intense, hot passion that we usually feel. I let jealousy get in the way of that and my body language contributed to a less than usual exciting experience now after sleeping on all this the next morning i was fine you know i i still wasn't really interested in hearing all the details of the evening yet because again i was jealous but i accepted it uh and my mental health was was just fine eventually i did hear about the details and it was enjoyable, but just not the same. And I can't explain why this situation made me so jealous.

I mean, I have seen multiple men fuck my wife in a variety of positions, in a variety of locations. My wife has had a few separate play dates with both men and women, and I never experienced jealousy. I mean, if you listen to my episode that I called, I forget what I call it, something about Eva fulfilling her fantasy. She drove to Columbus and surprised the guy at his house, and it was Bruce, as a matter of fact, okay? So this whole story, that's the guy. She showed up at his door wearing a trench coat with nothing but lingerie underneath. No jealousy issues at all.

This situation just hit me differently. probably probably at least in part by the fact that I thought I was going to be situation just hit me differently. Probably, probably at least in part by the fact that I thought I was going to be a part of it and I prepared for it. I took a month off from the lifestyle and preparation for it. And then for circumstances that understandably could not be controlled, I was left out of it.

And I ended up staying, staying home alone at my house to Closed Captioning by Kris Brand mental health issues and you just had a less than optimal situation and that my friends is the tale of the only time i really experienced jealousy in the lifestyle so far i wanted to tell you about something else if you have listened to my other episodes you probably remember a recent one called evan screws up i set up a hotel date for Eva with another dude, and it went to crap pretty fast. Well, I was eager to fix things.

I got another chance, and I'm happy to say that I have totally redeemed myself, as Jeff Daniels' character would say in Dumb and Dumber. In a future episode, I'm going to tell you all about that awesome experience for Eva. So she got that opportunity, all right? Now, and then that just happened recently. Now she's been chatting with a guy and plans on setting up a separate play date with him in the very near future. Then, I, unfortunately unfortunately require knee surgery, uh, torn meniscus, not bad. You know, it's, it's not going to be a super bad knee surgery, but it's surgery.

And I plan to have that done at the end of, uh, August, uh, August, 2024. So, um, so during that recovery time, there's another opportunity for Eva that has come up. This couple that I just told you about, Bonnie and Bruce, the guy with the magic dick, Bonnie has reached out and is looking to set something up again for Bruce, where, you know, again, Eva would have to take a month, I would have to take a month as well, away from the lifestyle, then get tested, present negative results, and then she'd be able to fuck her husband, Bruce.

So because I'll be recovering from my knee surgery, Eva, of course, is dying to do this. Because this is the guy with the magic dick. I don't blame her. I will be out of commission for a few weeks anyway, but because she will be fucking three different guys separately without me in a span of, I don't know, three to four months, I find myself feeling a little jealous of her, like that she is having these opportunities.

so who knows i might have i may have more jealousy stories coming at some point we'll have to see how this goes but for now i'm going to wrap things up i appreciate you sticking around and listening listening to me rant and rave and weave my lifestyle tales hope you come back and listen another another time i try to put out an episode every two weeks until then you can always connect with me find me on instagram or kick at evan deanson that's e-v-a-n-d-e-a-n-s-o-n evan deanson or you can even email me at evandeanson at gmail.com.

I don't check the email or the Instagram accounts very often, but I do check them occasionally. I would love to hear from my listeners. Thoughts, comments, questions, suggestions are always welcome. Not just for me, but for Eva as well. I'm happy to relay any questions or comments you have for her. We'll see everyone next time. Be safe, be naughty. Bye for now.