Ep. 24: Interesting & Infuriating Interactions

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care as it relates to sexual health or alternative lifestyles. Hello again everyone, welcome to Evan Swings, a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the swinger lifestyle. That would be me. I'm Evan.

And I am half of a lifestyle couple, the other half being my wife, Eva, who is kind of the best wife ever we're just um we're just a normal couple in our late 40s during the week. But the weekends are a different story. Well, some wild weeknights occasionally sprinkled in. If this is your first time listening, welcome. Glad you're here.

No previous listening experience or context is needed for this episode but i would actually encourage you to go back and start with my earlier episodes as they chronologically detail our dive into the swinger pond but again no context needed to hopefully enjoy this episode. And if you are a returning listener, thank you so much. As always, you are making my day. My listener numbers continue to grow, and I thank you very much for that. I'm doing this because I enjoy it. I am not looking to be rich or famous from this.

I don't think I've ever, I don't think i've mentioned this in a while i am not an expert on the lifestyle and i do not pretend to be i really am just an average guy and eva is just an average girl we've we've been in the lifestyle for only three years so we're experienced but yet not really experienced and it is my hope that hearing about our adventures will help listeners with their lifestyle adventures or if not at least be entertained by what i have to say so let's get on with it shall we a few episodes ago i mentioned how eva and i were in a bit of a rut right now a little bit of a funk or a slump we've had difficulty lately finding new matches, like new couples to meet.

Well, we are still in that slump, still in a rut. That has not changed. But there have been a few couples who have reached out to us recently. And that is what I want to talk to you about today. Sometimes people in the lifestyle absolutely infuriate me. And I want to tell you about some of those experiences, some of those people that Eva and I have interacted with. So I want to, before I go any further, say a while back, there was an episode that Eva made fun of me about and said, you sound like a whiny bitch. And I had a listener also mention that he thought she was right.

So I kind of hesitate with this episode because this may be another whiny episode so fair warning okay but let me get started with uh a story of a story about some flakes all right flaky people drive us bonkers we We had a match on SDC. They liked our profile. We liked theirs. So we started chatting. They opened up their face pic so we could see what they looked like. And of course, we did the same. Everyone seemed attracted to each other.

It was like like a you know a four-way thing it was good they live about an hour away from us and that is pretty good distance for us we've had a lot of trouble finding couples who are really local to us so an hour away that that's pretty good because if we were to meet somewhere about halfway you know we'd be driving about 30 minutes and that's that's nothing that so an hour away from us is a good distance and everything seemed lined up uh we started talking about you know setting, setting up a dinner date. We wanted to get together in person and meet each other.

So let me read the actual conversation to you. They said, and again, this is on SDC, one of the apps that we use. How available are you guys to meet up? We are normally kid-free Mondays and Tuesdays and every other weekend. Smiley face. So I wrote back, We have a busy schedule coming up, but let me talk to Eva and see if we can find a free date because we are excited to meet you guys. That was the end of the message. A few hours later, after discussing this with Eva, I wrote back, are you guys free this coming week? We are free on Monday, FYI. And that was 28 days ago. They never responded.

On the SDC app, there's a little green dot that appears if the person or the couple is online. And I've seen that green dot multiple times. They have been online. They just have not responded to my message. And this type of thing really aggravates me if you change your mind fine that's okay that happens you're allowed to change your mind but after all the chatting and and picture swapping, after all that time, I find it incredibly rude to just suddenly ghost another couple. So my public service announcement of the day, don't be a dick. Very simple. Don't be a dick, okay?

You are allowed to change your mind for whatever reason. And you don't even have to tell the person the reason but if that happens be an adult about it and and let the other couple know because in my opinion that's just decent uh common courtesy really so it's just it's just so frustrating after all that time and picture swapping and and they were the ones who said when they were free so they were obviously interested in meeting i found out when we were free i proposed the date never heard back from them. Very frustrating. Okay, next story. Now, this one may be a little nitpicky, all right?

But for some reason, it bothered me. So I wanted to share that with you. A couple reached out to us on... Oh, I forget which site it was, but they reached out to us and said, loved your profile. We look forward to meeting you both. That was it. Those two quick sentences, loved your profile. We look forward to meeting you both. And what bothered me was that there was no introduction, no hello, we are so-and-so. And then they just automatically assumed we wanted to meet them. I mean, there was no, like, out option.

You know, usually when you reach out to a couple, you kind of give them the opportunity to turn you down. You know even even by ignoring them you know like not even responding to a message which again i don't i don't usually do okay i try to be honest i try to be polite courteous but i've had plenty of people ignore me like ignore us Let's do this.

polite courteous but i've had plenty of people ignore me like ignore us like i i've reached out to many many couples and expressed interest and i've introduced ourselves and said something like um if you'd like to chat and learn more about us, feel free to shoot us back a message. You know, something like that. And again, there have been a lot of cases where this message that I've sent has been totally, completely ignored. Meaning they're not interested. And while I would definitely prefer a polite response turning us down, I wasn't offended. You know, I get it. They weren't interested.

We're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. I understand that. But this couple pretty much said, in other words, hey, when we see you, you're meeting us. You know, they said said we look forward to meeting you and we don't want to meet them you know eva and i we we are not interested in meeting this couple and they're like we look forward to meeting you we're going to meet you so how do i respond to this you know this is a a new situation for us. So far, I have just ignored the message. You know, I've been trying to think of the correct way to respond to this.

But I definitely would, like, I would really love to respond out of courtesy and let them know that we're not interested. But just the way they worded their message, we look forward to meeting you. I mean, do I respond with, we don't. No, I'm kidding. I would never be that rude. Okay. I suppose I could respond with something like, you know, my usual i'm sorry we don we don't, uh, but we don't think we are a match, but it's just, it's just weird. Okay. Don't just assume that we want to meet you. All right. Cause we, we, I'm sorry, we don't, we're not interested at all.

And it would have been nice to have, you know, a little bit of an out, like I, we't even, we don't know their names. So, you know, I guess if I don't respond to them and we see them at a club or an event, they're just going to come up to us and say, hey, remember us? No, I don't know who you are. So I don't know.

So it's just kind of a a weird situation I'm still trying to think of the polite wording to respond to that now keep in mind all these little stories of interactions with couples they've all occurred in the last month or so so our slump continues becoming more of a canyon rather than a little rut. But as I've mentioned many times, I think the lifestyle comes and goes in cycles. And I'm very confident things will turn around for us. Until then, I'll just have these interesting stories to tell you.

Hopefully, hopefully you find them interesting mildly entertaining i hope this next one very frustrating to me um and eva was also kind of frustrated with this as well we had a couple like our profile and again that just means mostly on a lot of the apps, it just means like you hit a little heart button, you know, something to indicate you are interested in that couple. Their faces were covered, but their bodies looked attractive. But the most, most attractive thing of all, their location said Dayton, Ohio. Now, I've gone on and on.

If you've listened to my previous episodes, I've gone on and on about the difficulty of finding local couples. You know, we live just north of Dayton. and most couples who reach out to us they're from Columbus or Cincinnati you know both of which are about 90 minutes away roughly so finding matching couples in the Dayton area has been a challenge to say the least so when I saw that, I thought to myself, I'm going to take a chance here. It is very, very rare for a couple hiding their faces to finally reveal themselves. And then it turns out that they're both attractive to Eva and myself. Okay.

It's just the way it Thank you. And then it turns out that they're both attractive to Eva and myself. Okay, it's just the way it has worked out for us. For that reason, we usually only respond to profiles which clearly show the faces of both people.

You know, no, no pics um no no pics taken from a distance but here we are we're in our little rut our little slump so i figured what the hell you know i'll take a chance i like their profile and requested uh to see their private folder which i hoped offered face pics now they accepted my request and we were granted access and to my happy surprise they did have facebook face pics and they were quite attractive. And I felt a little little tinge of excitement. All right. Like Eva and I had a potential match for us here, a potential local match.

Later that day, I received a message for them and message from them. Sorry, I there they just said um they just said hello and introduced themselves and i responded with the same i also mentioned how nice it was to meet another couple from the dayton area and um they wrote back and complimented our photos, you know, because I gave them access to our private photos as well, and said that we seemed like a lot of fun. So I took that to mean that they read our profile and liked what they saw.

Well guess i was wrong as you were about to find out we chatted a bit more and they mentioned that they were fairly new to the lifestyle instant red flag you know i i knew i knew what to do i wanted to make sure that that i was not wasting my time all right i wanted to make sure that we that I was not wasting my time. All right. I wanted to make sure that we were, we were indeed a good match. So their profile actually had two red flags. First of all, I noticed her height was 5'10". Now remember, I'm a short guy. I'm only 5'7". So I'm on the shorter side.

And from experience, I can tell you that height matters to a lot of women from experience. I can tell you that secondly, their profile was on the bear side. All right. There wasn't a whole lot there. So in their seeking section, it's like where you write what you're seeking. You know, it's where, you know, normally couples state what they're interested in. You know, full swap, soft swap, friends with benefits, and so on.

All it said was looking for like-minded couples for fun so i decided to just lay it on the line i wrote to them and asked what they were interested in i said we're a full swap couple only interested in other couples who are also full swap i also Also mention that I read their profile carefully and noticed that she was 5'10". I wanted to make sure that they knew that I was only 5'7 and hoped that it wasn't a deal breaker. Well, it was. They responded that she is only interested in playing with men who are taller than her.

But that didn't matter in a parallel play situation, which is what they were looking for. So, guys, they were really polite about it, all right? So, I kind of wanted to respond, not curtly, but sternly almost, but I'm just not that kind of person, okay? This whole situation could have been avoided if they simply read our fucking profile. It clearly, clearly states my height, Okay. It is literally the second thing listed under my age. And in the seeking section, let me read exactly what I have listed. We are a full swap couple with no interest in soft swap or parallel play.

That's what I have listed. Clear as day, right? Crystal clear what we're looking for. So I'm not sure how they thought we seemed like fun. We had two things on our profile that clearly did not line up with what they were looking for. And I'll give them a pass because, you know, they're newer, but they didn't have much information to go on in their profile. If they're only interested in parallel play, they need to put that in their profile.

So my friends, the lesson here is read profiles carefully and make sure your profile has essential information for potential couples to see this turned out to be a big fat waste of both of our times all right and now my final story of the day now this was about oh gosh i'd say five to six months ago i was on sls and a woman contacted me from our area again local couples hard to come by pretty attractive and we started having a conversation that spanned it's by pretty attractive and we started having a conversation that spanned uh it spanned about a couple of days i'll say and she seemed pretty darn cool but she had no photos of her husband on her profile page and that's a no-go for us okay we need to see what both of you look like before we start talking about meeting up in person.

She said it was because of his job. He had to be super discreet, so he didn't want a single photo of himself, even in a private folder, on their profile. And I told her that hopefully after chatting a bit and seeing that I was a real person, I could gain her trust and she could send us a photo or two. She agreed, but the conversation didn't even make it to that point.

didn't even last much longer she wanted to chat with eva well as we have discussed before on this podcast eva does not participate in the chatting until a certain level of comfort is reached usually that means after we have met the couple in person. And I told her this and it was like her personality changed instantly, like something snapped. So let me, let me read you her exact words. This is what she wrote. So let me see if I understand. I'm supposed to just show up to meet you guys without ever chatting with Eva to see if we get along. You're not serious, right? So I responded.

We actually took a leap of faith to begin with, with you.

You know, usually, usually we don't even start chatting with couples who don't show face pics of both parties and it says so right in our profile so I wrote that has proven to be a red flag for us in the past but we decided to take a chance and see where this went we have met plenty of couples where Eva hasn't joined the chat until meeting in person but different people have different rules, we get it that's your rule and we'll respect that we seem to have different ways of conducting lifestyle business so I do not think we are a match no hard feelings at all, best of luck and we hope you enjoy your time in the Dayton area because they had mentioned that they had recently moved to the Dayton area Here we go.

No hard feelings at all. Best of luck, and we hope you enjoy your time in the Dayton area. Because they had mentioned that they had recently moved to the Dayton area. So I figured that was the end of it. But she snapped back. And again, I'm reading this word for word to you. Ah, another couple where the lady is just along for the ride. Ha ha, I'm sure she doesn't even know I exist.

ha all the best i'm so glad and then her man's name i'm so glad he let he lets me lead this and we are 50 50 i wanted to just walk away but now i was pissed so i wrote back again i hate being called a liar So feel free to message eva and i gave her eva's kick info she is happy to respond to you after reading this thread so please call my bluff i would love to prove that i have been nothing but honest with you she is sitting here next to me reading this with me and shaking her head at all this. So that's what I wrote.

And as you can tell, I tried to back out politely, but man, do I hate being called a liar. That just makes my blood boil. Well, that ended our conversation. She never did contact Eva over a kick and that's fine i I kind of wanted Eva to put her in her place and validate the fact that I was being a hundred percent honest, but oh well. So that interaction occurred, you know, many months ago, like I said. So fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, we were telling the story to some lifestyle friends of ours. And I mentioned that I saw the same couple pop up on a different lifestyle site.

So I just blocked them right away. And Eva said that she was unaware that I did that. You know, I mean, I must have forgotten to tell her. And she suggested that I unblock her. Here we go. that I did that you know I mean I must have forgotten to tell her and she suggested that I unblock her Eva said that instead of blocking her and shutting her out she thought that I should just you know keep her unblocked and then you know post pics and comments just you know kind of showcasing how we are this awesome couple this really fun couple that they're missing out on.

So then, hopefully she would see it and realize that, you know, she had made a mistake. So, I took her advice and I unblocked her. It was like 24 hours later that I got a message from her introducing herself and her man. So obviously she didn't recognize my profile or remember our conversation on that other site. So once I got this message, Eva and I teamed up on this one. How do we respond? So let me, let me read you what I wrote with Eva's collaboration. We, you know, we, we did this together. Hi there. You must not remember me. We chatted on SLS.

Then you got angry with me because my wife doesn't chat until meeting in person. Then, didn't believe my wife knew about our conversation. We're still happy to meet you, but we would need to see some pics of your man first. Then, I sent a photo of Eva and I together, holding up her iPad. And on the iPad screen, we had written their screen name, proving that Eva knew about this current conversation and about their profile. So she responded, Oh, okay. I never get mad or upset with anyone. But if she's not interested in chatting, I'm not interested in meeting. Too bad.

I would like to get to know you guys. I would only get upset if you started a group chat and said she would be joining, but then she didn't. Was that you? Now, before I go any further, I had to laugh at the, I never get upset with any anyone line. thought that was classic. So I told her that it wasn't us, that unfortunately, you know, we were not a match then. And hopefully our paths would cross at some point so we could say hello in person.

Then I even gave her our username on SLS so that she could like go back and jog her memory if she wished, if she wished she can like find her old messages. Well, she must have tried or wanted to see them or wanted to seem like she wanted to see them because she said she had no messages from us I have to admit, I was kind of enjoying this for some sick reason. So I went back and screenshot our conversation on SLS and then sent the screenshots to her. Her response. Thanks. Nothing in that says I am mad or upset. I was just confused.

We have been in the lifestyle for two years and chatted with over a hundred couples. Never been told the girl won't chat. Well, I find that very hard to believe, but I let that go. I just politely responded again. I just said, very interesting. And then I reiterated that, you know, we would love to say hello in person if our paths crossed at a club or event. And she was like, yes, good deal. Let us know if you ever want to chat or meet for dinner. Which I don't know why she said that.

I mean, we'd been down that road before um so so that was pretty much the end of our conversation after a few other uh pleasantries we'll call it you know we won't meet unless we know what the dude looks like and she won't meet us for dinner unless eva chats her first. So I guess we are just not a match. Phrase from the Princess Bride. We are at an impasse. So yeah, just an interesting situation. You know, they're a local couple.

And with our difficulties finding local couples with whom we have chemistry and live fairly close to us you know it would have been nice would have been nice to have them as a possibility you know most of the couples we find they're from the bigger cities Columbus Cincinnati so honestly despite all that I just told you and all that happened, we would probably still give them a shot. You know, we've learned that in the lifestyle, profiles and online messaging don't always match up with the in-person experience.

There is one couple, one of our favorite regular couples, whom I turned down originally. Mostly because of our age discrepancy, they were a lot younger than us. I didn't think it would work. But eventually we decided to give them a shot, you know, and meet them in person. And we really hit it off. Now, like I said, they're one of our favorite couples. So even I, we always say, you know, we can get through a dinner with anyone. It's not a big deal. So we may still give them a shot.

But for that to happen, I think we would have to run into them in person somewhere first, you know, check out this mysterious husband or boyfriend or whatever. And then if we all seem to like each other and there's some, you know, four-way chemistry and attraction, then we can schedule something. So, yeah, but obviously not a high probability of success, though. I do not anticipate that ever happening. And that's my last mini story for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it or at least got some useful information that will help in your lifestyle experiences. experiences.

As always, if you'd like to connect with me, feel free to contact me using Kik or Instagram. You can find me at evandeanson, that's E-V-A-N-D-E-A-N-S-O-N, or you can actually email me at evandeanson at gmail.com. I would love to hear from you with questions comments suggestions regarding the show or anything that you want to direct towards Eva or myself we would love to hear it remember putting out these podcast episodes on a bi-weekly schedule now so we'll hopefully see you back here in about two weeks until then take care be safe be naughty bye for now