Ep. 22: The C***k Blocker (with co-host Eva)

Transcript

Warning, the following podcast contains adult content, adult language, and adult situations. I talk openly about sex and explicit topics. If you are under the age of 18 or are uncomfortable listening to sexually explicit narratives, please listen no further. I am not a professional therapist, counselor, or doctor. I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please don't forget to subscribe to our channel. or doctor.

I'm just an average guy in the swinger lifestyle who likes to share his experiences. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please seek a professional if you are in need of advice, guidance, or care as it relates to Evan Swings, the number one swinger podcast recorded in this house. It is. Yes, this is a podcast about the swinger lifestyle from the perspective of a guy in the swinger lifestyle. That's me, Evan.

I'm your usual host, but today we have back my lovely wife eva as a co-host hello welcome back eva thank you for having me back on the podcast well we are taking advantage of having a kid-free house at the moment so we decided to record this thing so uh if you're new to this this podcast um i always kind of say this even i have been in the lifestyle for three years now and we just enjoy sharing our experiences for informational and entertainment purposes and so i also give this a little disclaimer if you're joining me for the first time.

Love that you're here, but it is highly recommended that you stop this episode for now and go back and listen to some of the earlier episodes, which kind of chronicle our journey into the lifestyle from the beginning. But I will also say, as always, that it is not a necessity. No context is needed. For this episode, just a suggestion. And of course, if you are a returning listener, welcome back.

With Eva here, we thought we'd tackle a lifestyle topic and then tell a short story about an adventure that we had at a hotel takeover so we'll start off with a topic and that topic is what is eva what are you you say that like i know pterodactyl or something Where did that go from? I don't know. Dinosaurs on your mind? I guess so. Okay. Well...

pterodactyl or something i don't know dinosaurs on your mind i guess so well what i really mean is what is what is eva's um lifestyle classification or like official sexual orientation is she i guess say, are you, because I'm talking with you, are you bisexual, bi-comfortable, bi-curious, or something else? And what exactly do those mean? And the reason I ask this is because Eva and I, we recently had this discussion. We were, I forget, we were in the car somewhere and Eva, and you said to me that I should change your profile description from bisexual to something else.

Do you remember that discussion, hopefully? Yeah. Okay, good. I feel like it was a while ago. It was.

I've been waiting to record to record this sorry so so we're gonna uh we're gonna do a deep dive into this and hopefully by the end of this segment we will determine which category best applies to eva and i don't i don't think one perfectly fits you no there needs to be a new one well well we'll see let's go through what the like official ones are so we'll start off with by curious okay and before I go any further I did do some research on this I just basic google research just tried to find some definitions and this is what what came, if you're bi-curious, it means you are sexually attracted to men and women, but only romantically interested in one gender.

And this, from what I have read, is also called hetero-romantic bisexualism. Kind of a fancy scientific way of putting it. And then there was also another little definition that went with it. It was people who don't know if they are bisexual or not. So that second definition makes sense to me. The first one does not in any capacity. And I got those from two different sites. So I'm not sure what the official definition is. I interpret it to be the second one. The second one. That's what curious means. You want to explore things because you don't know how you feel about it.

I want to know more about it. Okay okay so that's bi-curious then there's something called bi-comfortable people and this is the definition i found people who are sexually awakened but are not exclusively bisexual or straight they will not describe themselves as bisexual but can't say they are exclusively straight either that's bi-comfortable i don't like that definition very much i mean it's okay but i when i think of bi-comfortable i think of you're comfortable with the same sex in the bed with you, but it's not something that you're seeking out, I guess. I don't know.

No, I would lean towards that as well. Yeah. But that's what I found as official definitions. But I would lean more like that too.

If it says comfortable, it means you're not not completely bisexual but you're comfortable doing stuff right yeah yeah and then there's something called bisituational and it's defined as someone who identifies themselves as heterosexual but will sexually interact with a member of the same sex when lacking other opportunities so that definition either well that i think the end of that definition kind of ruined it yeah because it's only when you're lacking other opportunities and i'll be honest with you this is that that term by situational was the one that i was least clear on so when i I was doing my little research, that was one I was most curious about.

And I was surprised to see that, that it said, when lacking other opportunities. Because I've seen that come up on profiles before. Right. They've said they're bisituational. So basically that means what they're saying is that if there's no other opportunities around, I'll do it. So, I don't know. And then the last one, of course, is the well-known term bisexual. And that is sexually or romantically attracted to both men and women.

So, based on those definitions, and we can kind of discuss it a little bit but i guess with that last definition in simplest terms that's what you are in the simplest terms i would say that you are bisexual you're sexually attracted to both men and women yeah but i want to bring up a quote that you said once and i love this. And I've said this to many people before. This is one of Eva's quotes, right? What? One of my quotes. You've said this. I know, but you're making it sound like we have like a long list of profound things that I have said. You'd say some pretty cool stuff.

Like I'm going to cross stitch them on pillows and sell them on Etsy or something. You have some good quotes. You say some very interesting things sometimes. So this is one of them. And it's one that's kind of stuck with me. You once said, I love playing with other women, but at the end of the night, I need a dick in me to be satisfied. I did say that. In sort of those words, yeah. And you've been with a woman separately. Twice. Two different women. You tried it, and you realized that being with just a woman, no dick in the picture, just not for you.

Didn't, like, ultimately satisfy you, correct? bored eventually I mean I'm gonna get bored with anything eventually but you're not bored with me are you no no no that's not what I mean but I just there wasn't enough variety of things to do I think okay things to touch things to suck on things things to play with, things to, yeah, I don't know. So. All right. So because of that, which, which definition do you feel most matches you, I guess? Like which category would you fall in? Or do you think, like you said earlier, we need to come up with a new one?

I i think we need to come up with a new one but i don't know what it would be because you know our rule because we've been with a couple um who she was not by anything she was completely straight completely straight and insisted on separate beds and didn't want to have anything to do with me and i did not like that at all so now we have the rule that the woman has to be by comfortable buy something she has to be willing to play with me and let me play with her um but at the same time i'm not interested in just being with a woman i need a guy there as well whether it's you or you and someone else or someone else that just i don't know so i i just i don't think i look at the word by curious okay and i think when i look at that i think you're beyond that now like you're no longer curious about it no because you know that initially yeah i know like you know what you like and you changed it to bisexual yeah yeah so so that's it puts us in kind of a predicament with selecting your like what i should include on profiles i know so i'm leaning towards by comfortable like put it put that in there by comfortable again and we don't have to necessarily go by that definition but i think looking at that word by comfortable you are comfortable with both men and women that's just the way i see it i guess but i'm also sexually attracted to both men and women correct i'm not romantically attracted to women at all right but i think that's that's the by part the by part means like assumes that you're attracted to both and then the comfortable part means you are comfortable doing stuff with both i guess but i feel like if we change it to that then we're gonna get contacted by people who are not comfortable i don't know that kind of i take by comfortable to mean i can take it or leave it i definitely want to take it i don't want to leave That's it.

are not comfortable I don't know that kind of I take by comfortable to mean I can take it or leave it I definitely want to take it I don't want to leave it I want it in there I want it there and I'll have to go back and check but I think right now I have you listed as by like it just says by it doesn't say by curious by comfortable by situate just by because that kind of encompasses is everything you know and then if and then when people reach out to us we start talking to each other that's something we can explain so so as of now with the segment over we're still kind of up in the air i'm gonna think of a new word but but eva's gonna think of a new word okay by the end of the episode do you think maybe okay what about by interested by interested okay that seems more like by curious i don't know though well we'll come back to that so eva thinks of something you may have a new a new term by the end of the show.

Alright, so, on to a story that we wanted to share with you today. So as always, I like to have Eva with me for some of these stories because, number one, I forget a lot of details that she will remember. And number two, I like hearing her perspective. I like her to contribute to what we've experienced together because these are things that we've experienced together. So it's fun to have you aboard. All right. So this story, why are you laughing? I was going to say say it's fun to have you aboard too. Okay. All right. Well, this experience we're about to tell you about quite interesting.

It took place at a, at a hotel. I can't talk hotel takeover. Maybe I should have done those vocal warmups. I would have jumped in, but was yawning not going well right now people it is not going well this episode not our best yet we'll shape up okay all right so anyway this took place at a hotel takeover last year i think it was i forget when i typed up these notes so i think it was last year i don't remember. Sometime last year, but I don't know if it was fall or spring or what.

So as I've mentioned in previous episodes, where I've talked about hotel takeovers, I like to get on some of the lifestyle apps like SDC and the Play Champagne website and take a look at the guest list to see who is attending then i may reach out to a few couples who appear to be interesting and attractive eva and i we are not the the types to just walk up to random strangers and introduce ourselves so this kind of serves as an icebreaker of sorts. We chat for a while. We kind of see if we hit it off a bit. And then if we do, we can look forward to seeing them in person at the event.

At this particular takeover, we did chat with two or three couples ahead of time. We weren't sure we weren't sure if it was going to go anywhere but never sure right yeah but it's nice to be able to go to the takeover and then if we see them we could be like hey you you know you're one of the couples you know one of the hey we wouldn't actually say that come on i feel like you would i'm not that bad couples, you know, one of the, hey, we wouldn't actually say that. Come on. I feel like you would. I'm not that bad. Okay. Quick side story. Eva once got annoyed with me.

I don't know if it was annoyed is the right word. Made fun of me because I was a fist bump. Yes. I was a fist bumper. I think that might've been our first takeover. I don't know. And I just, yeah, because it was probably like shortly after COVID. It was. It was. So I was kind of in the habit of fist bumping people. And so I would meet people and kind of say hi and fist bump them. Meanwhile, I'm giving them a hug. Okay, but there are, in my defense, there are a lot of people who say that you can't even do that. You can't even go up and assume they want to be hugged.

So, fist bump was kind of my way around that. Like, hey, I'm saying hi to you, but I'm not shaking your hand. Okay. Okay, so anyway, so, yes.

I guess the point is I could be very awkward all right so one of the couples that I chatted with seemed nice um but maybe didn't have a complete 100% grasp on the English language not a maybe they definitely did and that it's not a deal breaker no that's fine but let's just say they were not at the top of the list of the people that we hope to meet and i'm going to refer to them as uh pat and pam i when i typed up these notes i probably had a reason for coming up with those names but i don't know why so we're just gonna go with it pat and pam okay i don't i know i did wonder when i read what no idea little transcript there i usually have a reason for naming them something and i just have no reason for that that i can remember all right i don't even remember their names so i don't either i don't okay so friday rolls around and we did not see uh the couples we had chatted with online except for one this one couple that we're talking about here pat and pam and from afar i'm sorry to say in person we were were not completely impressed by their physical appearance.

Eva and I decided we would not go out of our way to approach them and say hi. The night went on, and we didn't have any interactions with them the entire night.

And if I remember correctly, we weren't having much luck that first night like meeting people or talking to people and again that we don't randomly approach couples and no one really approached us so we just kind of enjoyed ourselves you know enjoyed the evening ourselves and after the big party downstairs at a hotel takeover the party moves to the top floor in this case the fifth floor and there's more dancing more mingling and oftentimes that's where couples will find each other and slip off into a room for naughty fun Eva and I we just like to go up there to cruise basically I mean that we're not really you know looking at a meat market or anything like that we're just we like to just go go upstairs and walk around talk to people if we can and just kind of sightsee i guess that's what it was down to well yeah because they have they had open rooms you know that you could look in and watch people and then all sorts of stuff and there's a lot of sexy outfits eva puts on a super sexy naughty outfit yes you do and we just walk around mine are always pretty tame compared there's people that walk around totally naked up there but yours are still pretty freaking hot okay so yeah so anyway we're just walking around and people watching and you know talking to anybody we might already know that was the plan well things change quickly we were just kind of hanging out when this guy approaches us out of nowhere and it was pat and he was very nice and to eva's surprise much cuter up close i do remember that yeah because i remember saying are you sure that's the same guy that we saw across the room before well we talked to him for a minute or two Thank you.

As I remember saying, are you sure that's the same guy that we saw across the room before? Well, we talked to him for a minute or two, and he explained his wife was in their fifth floor hotel room changing or using the bathroom or something like that. I can't remember. And we just kind of chatted a bit, and then eventually Pam came out and joined us. Now, Pat's English was okay. Yeah. Strong accent, but easy to understand. Pam's English, not so much. She did not speak English. There's no other way to say that. She did not speak English at all. Yeah, and you can tell she had difficulty.

Or she would not.

she would not yeah yeah like understanding us even like she couldn't understand some of the things we said i would i would say it was a spanish accent but i don't know if that's the correct term i think you know south american or something like that they were i don't know exactly what the accent was so they ended up inviting us back to their room for some drinks and at that point Eva and I were like yeah what the hell I don't even have a drink with anybody yeah and we're at a we're at a swingers hotel takeover so why not do something swingerish now this is not something we would normally do but I don't know maybe we're we were horny or something I don't I don't remember.

I don't know. I assume we were. I don't know why we really agreed to it.

Why would we not be oh we're also kind of nice right well yeah but yeah all right so we went to the room for drinks and we just talked for a while and pam played spanish style music music and just kind of hung out and talked and we didn't know if it was like really actually going anywhere especially because pat informed us that pam was mostly just looking to play with another woman and i was fine with that but he also said that she did play with men like that was on the table well i asked specifically but are you a full-stop couple because that is what we are looking for i said something of that sort and he said oh yeah we definitely are yeah and remember that's there's a little bit of a language barrier here um but he did say that the reason they were now a full swap couple is because they just couldn't find enough single what like unicorns essentially common problem be with them yeah so they switched to be a full swap couple but i don't think they really were yeah so and all this came surprised yeah all this came through pat because he was the one who had to interpret yeah sure so i forget how it came about i really forget how it it up to this but patches flat out asked us do you want to play yeah and he said like do you do you want to play with us like that and it was i really liked his accent it was very cool but do you want to play with us it was almost like uh antonio banderas for puss in boots oh.

A little bit like that. Did you want to play with us? I don't remember specifically. This wasn't as deep as that. Anyway, Eva and I just kind of looked at each other and were like, sure, why not? I was interested in them. We were interested in them by that time. Yeah. And again, not something we normally do. But I think we were, you know, we're allowed to make the occasional on-the-spot decisions once in a while, especially in that kind of environment where there's a lot of sexual energy. And by that, I mean, you know, we were basically surrounded by sex the entire evening.

I mean, that's what a hotel takeover is.

Yeah, but this is one of the escapades, or I't know what to call events i like that word that led to us eventually having the rule we're not going to play with anyone until we have a vanilla date with them first sure so all right so eva as she does a lot got the ball rolling started kissing pam and pat and i just kind of watched and enjoyed the show for a bit then pam kind of released herself from eva and hopped on pat on the couch and started kissing him i don't really remember how that came about how we got because we were against the wall i'm trying to remember that i don't remember that but i just remember we we got to the couch and she hopped on top of him and started kissing yeah i don't remember how we got to the couch eva came over to me and we started kissing but we were like right next to each other and we figured this is this is how a lot of playdates start you know you begin with your own spouse uh but then hands start wandering eventually and you eventually swap out not the case case here.

Nope, but never happened. Now, I'm always nervous and shy, so I'm usually the last one involved in things like this anyway. And Eva, of course, makes fun of me because I always seem to be the last one naked when we have a playdate. It's not seem to be. Always. Not always. 100% of the time. There's not a single time, I think, that I know of. Our threesome, I was the first one naked.

one naked oh well you were making a point with that so anyway um so i'm just let's just say i'm a little slow and tentative at first but anyway eva started so so we're next to them and we're on the couch and and Eva started letting her hands wander. But every time her hands got close to Pat, Pam would intentionally position herself, like preventing Eva from touching her husband. Yeah, it was really obvious. Did I describe that accurately? Pretty much, yeah.

i didn't kiss him yeah i didn't i don't think i sucked his dick i know i know you didn't i don't think i even touched it no yeah so this was like literal this was literal it was literal cock blocking i mean i mean kind of comical yeah yeah but i mean when you hear that word cock blocking you know it's never really someone physically blocking you from getting to it no like she had a force field around yes around him her body was positioned it was like a wall yeah so i thought you know maybe pam was getting more warmed up and by this point pat's dick was out and she was sucking on it but she would not let eva anywhere near him it was the longest blow job i've ever seen anyone give i don't know how she going and going her jaw didn't get sore and shortly after he finished he came yeah eventually she made him come and Going and going.

Her jaw didn't get sore. And shortly after, he finished. He came. Yeah. Eventually, she made him come. And Eva and I were left standing there like, what the hell just happened? And I'll never forget Pat saying in his thick accent something like, I know we did not end up. Oh, my God. Don't do the accent. I like doing the accent. Okay.

I know we did not end up my god don't do the accent i like doing the accent okay i know we did not end up swapping but we still had fun right that was a bad one that was terrible i'll have to work on that yeah all right i'll just say it normal i know we did not end up swapping but that was still fun right and i think i just smiled and nodded but i was like it really wasn't that fun no no it was very boring so we parted ways uh headed back to our rooms just kind of scratching our heads like what just happened this is very strange and they they did end up reaching out to us um well the next day I think yeah Saturday.

Yeah. Saturday. Yeah. It was through the Champagne app. And they said they had a great time and they hoped to hang out with us again the next night. But we were done with that. No. We were like, no, we're not interested in that any longer. No, it would have been the same thing. So what they did, they basically put us into an unwanted parallel play situation. Yeah. And we're not interested in parallel play. But that's what they kind of... No, if I'm going to fuck you, I would rather be on a bed and have the whole bed, not someone else's couch. Yeah.

So we no interest in uh getting back together with them the following evening um you told them that i did yeah you did oh i don't remember you told them that okay well that's why you're here responded it said something like oh you're right i did but i don't think your wife is yeah because doing it again. So I think we should just part ways. Because I think I specified that she wasn't interested in me. Like I pointed out. She didn't even look at you. No, she didn't look at me, didn't touch me, didn't kiss me, nothing. No. Nothing at all once we started.

So yeah, so thankfully we didn't even run into them again the next night. We kind of saw them across the dance floor at times, but that would have been quite awkward. And with the language barrier, you know, it kind of worried me just a little bit that they didn't understand that we didn't want to play with them again or, you know, be with them again. I don't think it would have been awkward. I just, I would have felt. I would have smiled and waved and said hi.

And if they said, want to play i would have said no not really no thank you it didn't work out i think i'm good so what do we learn from all this i'm not sure vanilla dates first yeah that that was the that rule kind of evolved from that and then maybe be careful and if intentions are not made perfectly clear in this situation it was most likely likely a language barrier that caused it not to be perfectly clear we should have another new rule which is that both members of the couple need to be able to speak english they don't have to do fluent but we have to be able to converse totally agree both of them because she she didn't speak and she couldn't even have a conversation nothing so I agree you had to interpret new rule established so quite possibly he had his own agenda and was not interpreting correctly.

I don't know. Yeah, I like it. New rule established. New rule. It should be a pretty easy one. Yeah, I don't think that will happen again. No, I don't think so. But in general, if intentions are not perfectly clear, possible red flag. So, that's our story for today.

did you come up with a new term I did not we'll have to save that for another episode so as of now we're just going to call you bi-playful I don't know about that one we'll work on this people we'll work on it anyway i hope you enjoyed our story and i hope you'll come back and listen to another episode of this podcast sometime as always you can connect with us on kick or instagram just search for evan deanson um i also have an email address i don't check it very often but evan deanson at gmail.com yeah i can't believe you made an email address oh yeah this is this is high tech oh yeah this is Thank you.

it very often but evandeanson at gmail.com yeah i can't believe you made an email address oh yeah this is this is high tech oh yeah this is we're coming out with merch soon oh my god i'm just kidding we're not there yet we're gonna store it right kids don't find it anyway either either one of us would be happy to answer any questions or take suggestions on topics. Going to be honest here, I would not call Eva and I players or players. So we don't have all that many stories. And, you know, eventually we're going to run out.

So we haven't been in the lifestyle all that long in the grand scheme of things i mean three years is not exactly a huge amount of time you know you know it's not did you stop the recording i don't know no we're still recording okay um it's not that long but most of the people that we have met at this point are not three years, I feel. Correct. I feel like most of the people that we have met are either right around the same amount of time or less. Not everybody, obviously.

but yeah and especially for us who are very we're very selective and we don't go out every weekend we don't do a lifestyle thing every weekend so yeah so we need new material so questions and suggestions for topics we'll keep things rolling here don't be afraid to reach out until next time be safe be naughty have a great week eva thanks for joining us oh you're welcome anytime all right see everybody later