HOUSE PARTIES

DB - That still happens and works out just fine in most cases. The 2 areas where I see this could help at our parties are either the girl is too shy to ask to set up a mini GB, which I have done for some girls that have asked me to do that for them.

The other time is, on occasion, a girl that is known to like multiple guys is playing with a guy that likes 1 on 1 time. Sometmes guys will walk up and expect to participate. Hell, I like playing with girls 1 on 1 at times and it is just easier than having to shoo guys away when I'm in the mood for some 1 on 1 time.

The only other time is when we have someone relatively new at our parties and they have no idea who likes what. Again, they'll generally do just fine without the bands but it does make it easier for everyone to more quickly find what they're looking for. You know how it is at a good party. So many people to fuck and so little time ;-)

What ever happened to verbal communication, and simply asking what one’s preferences are?

Places that I have heard of that use colored bands pretty much make you select at least one. My thought is that it would be completely optional.

The suggested color scheme had a method to the madness. White was for the most limited play and black the least. Grey for BDSM (shades of grey), Green for Group play, and Pink for Bi play.

The only one not obvious was Blue, for couples play.

The bands are probably less needed at our parties vesus others, only because our parties are already pretty much matching people with similar play styles. Our parties are not open invitation, so less unknowns.

Still, we have girls that WANT multiple guys and don't always have that happen. We have Bi people looking for Bi play that also doesn't always happen. We likewise have some guys that think ALL of the women want multiple guys and we have guys that want to play with a girl 1 on 1.

Honestly, that looks to be too complicated. Have seen bi and straight bands before. They are nice for straight ladies who get tired of other women grabbing and trying to kiss them uninvited. Different rooms for different play preferences are nice as well.

What do people think about wrist bands for a swinger party to better help people find what they are looking for? I have heard of some parties doing this but was interested in if/how well it worked.

It seems like it would work well and I think half the difficulty is coming up with the different play preferences that could be represented by different colored silicone bands. I've seen silicone bands online for $0.01 a piece with free shipping, so cost is certainly not an issue.

Just a stab at categories and suggested band colors -

White - Looking for 1 on 1 play only (with singles or 1/2 a couple)

Blue - Looking for 2 on 2 play only (couple looking to be with another couple)

Green - Up for group play

Pink - Up for same sex play

Grey - Up for flogging/spanking/bondage

Black - I'm a slut. Please use me however you like early and often ;-)

People could combine them if they wish, so someone looking for group play and is OK with same sex play could have a green and pink band.

Too complicated, more trouble than it's worth or any other thoughts?

"Honestly, entitled men are a complete boner killer."

Yes... this is one reason we by far prefer the larger house parties over just meeting one couple. At a big party we are both free to play with who we want without the expectation of mandatory sex with someone's pouty partner.

"... but not if you're pouting."

One of the many, many reasons swapping is my least favorite thing is one too many instances of guys who assume I will play with them because their partners are playing with mine. I miiiight say I wasn't playing that night, although in memory I just said thank you, but no.

Honestly, entitled men are a complete boner killer.

MNJFLA - Why not have your own house parties? That way you have control over the couples attending. I have had cases where a couple comes to a party with the intent that only the guy is going to play 99% of the time. Unless the guy is exceptional and I'm looking for "guy heavy" parties, they would simply fall off my invite list. Problem solved.

This is a common problem in open invitation LS parties, however, if the Mrs had an exceptional time at such a party, it's still a win in our book. We are an unusual couple in that I generally play way more than the Mrs at most of the parties we attend (by her choice), so if the roles are reversed, I'm happy for her. Hell, I'll even send guys she likes her way at times.

The concept of "I'm supplying my wife for guys to use" is one way of looking at it, and one that is likely going to set you up for frustration. Who's to say that the Mrs can't use these guys for her enjoyment? Rarely is sex a one-way street.

Again, I get that the primary rant is that this doesn't seem fair, and I can agree to a certain degree. If a so-called couple is really just a guy with a girl that has no plans to participate, then they are misrepresenting themselves. Even worse is it feels like your wife playing with said guy is just enabling this situation.

Luckily for us, we have control over this at our parties and we are not attending others where this consistantly happens. If it did, my wife would be turned off to learn that a couple was misrepresenting themselves like this and would simply avoid the guy/s in the future.

The guy that is reasonably attractive and married to someone that is a lot less desirable is a differrent beast, and could be a reason they're in the LS. This situation can certainly be reversed. So long as both are willing to participate though, it just is what it is. Normally that's the beauty of parties is that you both have other options when that happens, but not if you're pouting.

If you need to keep a "playmate tie score" with your spouse maybe house parties aren't for you.

Also... don't sit around and pout at a party.

Well said Destin... we do the exact same... over 30 years and each can do sleepovers on special occasions such as a birthday, etc at a local hotel.. and loving every minute with our special FWB's

We have always been very open about our play alone, together and at parties. Early on all the rules were made by the female half and always agreed to. However, those same rules were always quickly broken, also by the female half. The female half has always prefer more one on one play as she didn't want to have to tell those who think they can just jump in and start playing when in reality they were not invited to get lost.

We have been in the lifestyle for over 29 years and enjoyed ourselves very much. We can play anytime we have an opportunity and want to. The only rule is that we must inform the other one we are going to play and where we will be located. As long as we are on the same planet, have fun.

The cuck comment you made was bullshit. The male half of the couple has always played at parties. Always treats the ladies with respect and is always open to play. Don't party with everyone, as long as they are great people with excellent personalities and takes care of themselves have never turned anyone like that down. In fact the ladies like the fact the male half always treats them with respect and never touches unless prompted or asked.

Also, the post prior to mine is unfathomable cucked.

"Keep going to events so you can be increasingly frustrated and feel inadequate while your wife gets railed, bro. That's what a real man would do. Raaaaaaawr!"

Ridiculous.

The reality of the sexual dynamics is that women, on average, are going to have far more options than men (heteronormatively speaking).

That disparity bound to cause resentment if the wife of the couple always gets into fun while the guy just sits there. If the reverse were true, it would cause a similar friction and sense of unfairness.

We can get on a high horse about compersion or lackthereof, but what about empathy on the part of the more successful partner?

For many couples, a policy that limits solo play, probably makes sense.

Sounds like a poor me rant. Did you ever think it might be you and not the women attending the party. If they don't find you attractive or appealing then they aren't going to let you put your dick in them. You commented that you didn't find them attractive. Again maybe it is you. Are you looking for a 10 and the ladies at the party are 6, 7 and 8s? I'll bet many of them are great people and would have been a total blast to play with. They more than likely could feel you're negative vibes.

Now let's look at your comments about your wife playing while you just set there stewing and feeling sorry for yourself. Hell, I was always happy my wife played at parties. What that told me is that she felt comfortable with the atmosphere and the men she played with. It sounds like your wife felt the same way. It also means the other men found your wife approachable and attractive. Hell, you should be proud of that and enjoy watching her have a fabulous time.

However, you more than likely made her feel guilty because of your selfish poor me attitude. What that does is ruin it for her the next time. Remember, this isn't about you and satisfying your little head. The lifestyle is something shared a win/win for all involved. Most of us long term male swingers have learned it isn't about us guys it is really about our ladies and the other ladies. Dipping our wick is just a bonus.

So stop your cry baby bull shit, change your attitude and go to the next party.

"Yes my wife should have not played with the men and leave me sit there alone, but that happened... Again this is our final party as I am DAM tired of supplying my wife for other men to fuck."

You didn't supply your wife for other men to fuck, since she's her own person and her sexuality doesn't belong to you. Perhaps women supplied those men for your wife's pleasure. That's how my partner would look at it.

And if you can't sit by yourself and enjoy her enjoyment instead of being resentful and petulant, maybe you should reconsider your participation in the lifestyle.